Al-Anon Family Group - Al-Anon Family Group

Maresie888 · Maresie888

-- Edited by Maresie888 on Friday 29th of January 2021 01:07:53 PM -- Edited by Maresie888 on Friday 29th of January 2021 02:51:42 PM

DavidG · DavidG

Hi y'all... I don't have to keep Alanon going, worldwide. I still need keep the focus on myself... ...and i seem to manage to do this. I wondered if i had loyalty issues, with gin got another group. Seems not. I wept at my meeting last night. Tears of relief really. I could have killed myself anyti...

Debb · Debb

Todays ODAT reading suggests that when we are faced with the disruption, pain and disgrace that iscaused by living with an alcoholic that we are sometimes faced with desperation and confusion. We know that action is required which can take many different forms of impartial counsel, but themost fi...

MrRy2020 · MrRy2020

I am currently trying to set boundaries with my parent alcoholic. He is a very loving father but when he drinks it is like talking to another person. He has been dealing with alcoholism for quite some time now, has been to rehab twice but hasnt kept up with AA or a regular program. A few years ago he and my mo...

Skorpi · Skorpi

Hello MIP! In today's reading from C2C, the author shares a moment when they were able to recognize that they were really in trouble: There were unwashed dishes in the sink, and this triggered the author to consider throwing someone they loved very much out of their life forever. The author realized...

Maresie888 · Maresie888

I started a grief support group yesterday night Going to the group actually related to a friend of mine who committed suicide. At the time of his suicide my therapist told me I needed to know exactly what happened around his entirely unexoected death. One of my charactor traits is righteousness....

Enigmatic · Enigmatic

Today's page notes that it is desperation over another's drinking that drives most of us to AlANon. Many are surprised when, instead of instruction on how to 'control' the alcoholic, the program provides guidance on how to do just the opposite. Some who find success in this approach mistakenly thi...

Lyne · Lyne

The reading for Monday, 1/25, discusses exactly how to correct our faults. We just cant eliminate or will them away. The author says that bad habits must be replaced with their opposites, substituting the positive for the negative, thus the I WILL for the I WONT. Reminder: If I am morose and discon...

tiredtonite · tiredtonite

Today's reading speaks about learning to have fun and to play. The author states that were raised as a child of two alcoholic parents. They identify as being industrious and goal-oriented. Learning to play and have fun doesn't come naturally to them but they would like to include these forms of relax...

Lyne · Lyne

BACKGROUND: As happens more times than not, I return from my condo and re-enter my home with my A. The dog goes back and forth with me which adds fuel to the fire. I prepare myself on Saturdays using my program tools to enter the marital situation in neutral, and sometimes hopeful that we can have peac...

Sorcha · Sorcha

Hi everyone I hope you are all keeping well, I haven't posted in a long time, thankfully I haven't needed to but now I have a dilemma and would really appreciate feedback from anyone who has been through similar and even if you haven't, some recovery perspective, please! My son is an addict, he has bee...

DavidG · DavidG

I had this kind of dream- or vision- of being a tiny part of a wider Alanon movement ...which includes other 12 steps groups... I had been to Stepping Stones in upper state NY. I talked with Betty [Hotrod] abut this. She had been there too. Maybe with a large group. We were overseas visitors. Just my S...

yanksfan51 · yanksfan51

Good morning everyone: Todays reading is about maintaining serenity in our lives. The writer describes how willingly some of us hand off our serenity when encountering alcoholic behavior. In this reading it is compared to our reaction when someone asks for the salt to be passed at a meal. Not even th...

Freetime · Freetime

Hello MIP friends, I am posting quite late and shorter than usual. I've been without internet for a few days, hopefully being fixed tomorrow, and this has been quite a lesson in Acceptance. But meanwhile, I am humbled to be able to post about this reading which tells me the true meaning of Detachment. ...

Maresie888 · Maresie888

There are now some new technical terms to describe some of our issues in recovery One of them is #backdraft# that is when we start applying boundaries, regulating our emotions and doing better self care we sometimes have to deal with even more symptoms The other issue of course is when we begin to set...

PosiesandPuppies · PosiesandPuppies

Today in Courage to Change, the pages talk about Step 3: we "Made a decision to turn our will and our lives over the the care of God as we understood Him." I will be quoting directly from the pages: "This is a big decision for those of us who have a tough time making even small decisions. Until I found Al-Anon...

Skorpi · Skorpi

Hello MIP! In today's reading, the author reflects on anonymity in Al-Anon. "Anonymity is the spiritual foundation of all our traditions" The author shares that anonymity lets us leave WHAT we are at the door, and get to know WHO we are. We can leave the surnames, labels, and expectations we have bee...

Nancym · Nancym

I have just joined and want to first say how comforting this group is. Thank you all. I married my husband in 2009 after being a single mom for 18 years. He had two children from a previous marriage (which broke up because of his drinking) and his 13-year old son lived with him. He was very upfront about...

DavidG · DavidG

In the day- I went to a neighbouring town with a group of AA's. They dropped my off at the home of a wife- when they went to the meeting. W. told me that she did not want to go to Alanon. She said it would open up a can of worms for her. After all this time hubby is still in AA- and she is as right as rain. I was the op...

GracieP · GracieP

Hi! This message board was very helpful to me when I left my marriage almost 4 years ago. My ex is an active alcoholic. I mistakenly thought things would get better for my children and me once I finally moved out and took the youngest with me. The two older ones were already living on their own. Things did g...

Enigmatic · Enigmatic

Today's Reminder: "Just for today I will live through this day only, and not tackle all my problems at once. I can do something for twelve hours that would appall me if I felt I had to keep it up for a lifetime.""I will slow my pace. If I am under pressure and setting myself deadlines and worrying about tomo...

DavidG · DavidG

I have chooks in the back yard. Hens- that is... The grandkids had chooks first. I always wanted them.Their dad said they had to go- and i took them over. I still have one aging non-laying bantam as a result of this. But three layers, as well... We are lucky. one daughter in the next town. Oldest daugh...

Lyne · Lyne

The reading for Monday, 1/18, talks about why we need to focus on ourselves. The reminder says: Is the help I offer truly loving or do I have other motives? Am I trying to change another person or get them to do what I want? Talking it over with my sponsor can offer perspective. My best hope for helping...

yanksfan51 · yanksfan51

Good morning everyone- Todays page focuses on the concept of letting go. The writer compares his/her own struggle with opening up to the flowers in a bouquet- some of the buds remained closed, others were open with bloom on display. The writer notes that he/she often used restraint out of fear that ot...

SunnyFrogs · SunnyFrogs

This morning I opened up my online Journal that I've been writing in since probably 2010 or 2011. On the side is a list of all the entry titles and I was sad and surprised to see just how many are about AH and all of our problems and fights. I was even sadder to realize how many years this has been going on and no...

Jayliejewell · Jayliejewell

Hi my name is Jaylie. I have been with my boyfriend for 2 years in January 5th. We met as juniors in high school. and started dating almost a full year later mid senior year. Since then it has been a roller coaster of emotions. we had a really good relationship for the first 4 months. He smoked weed I hated it...

Maresie888 · Maresie888

I have spent the last few days doing self care then setting up systems where I can continue that self care However I note that many of my friends like me have neglected big portions of self care One of my friends for example went to Las Vegas for New Years. Quite apart from the fact that no one is supposed to...

PosiesandPuppies · PosiesandPuppies

Today's reading speaks of learning to "Think." The author speaks of before Al-Anon, they would speak whatever entered their mind. Angry accusations were met with their own angry accusations... an urge to betray a confidence, to gossip were unstopped. Now they stop and "Think." Therefore, they ma...

Maresie888 · Maresie888

Currently my expenses are more than my income. I.have had an unexpected medical expense that is pretty big. Staging it out is really scary. As a child most of my needs were not met. As an adult I.have been around people who are notoriously selfish. I learned to.ignore and squash my needs around them ...

Freetime · Freetime

Today's reading describes a day in the life of someone worried about a crisis happening to an alcoholic -- unable to concentrate at work, projecting horrible outcomes, dreading what the future may bring. The slogan One Day at a Time helps prevent leaping into the future. Worrying does not protect us...

Debb · Debb

Todays ODAT reading suggests that if we know or sense that someone is resentful or dislikes us that we can seek to understand why. It is then, when we are honestly seeking those answers that we can learn, not only about ourselves but to have an opportunity to makeamends if necessary. It is suggested th...

Debb · Debb

I have been working the 12 steps for the past 4 weeks. Have to admit when I restarted, I looked over my original work back in 2014, cause I saved what I did, that it was a real help to see that what I did was basically the same as now! Not sure if that is good or bad. The reason I need input is because I feel stu...

Seahorse7 · Seahorse7

Ive been trying very hard not to engage when AH is drinking. This holiday season went as usual: He has multiple days off and all of them are spent getting drunk. Im trying to accept that he does this, to take care of myself and leave him be to do what he wants. Detach and do my own thing. Sure enough tonight he...

WendyP · WendyP

I would like to share about Step 12 and what it means to me, I feel the Gratitude towards The Higher Power, who I call God, for giving this wonderful Spiritual Program to both Dr Bob and Bill for AA, and Louis and Anne for our wonderful program. Then for both parties for having the courage, strength and com...

Skorpi · Skorpi

Hello MIP! Today's reading from C2C is about spiritual freedom. The author shares that they received spiritual freedom through Al-Anon because the program encourages us each to find a personal understanding of a Higher power, and to allow others to do the same. A personal understanding of HP and...

Enigmatic · Enigmatic

Today's author observed a colony of bees and drew a parallel to detachment from the alcoholic. By not poking into their business, especially when there may be physical, spiritual or emotional risk, we can avoid getting stung when we maintain a safe distance. We still love them, but we recognize the r...

Lyne · Lyne

For Monday, 1/11, I came across some amazing ideas from the book titled above. The author states that recovery is about reclaiming our own lives, learning to focus on ourselves, build on our strengths, and ask for and accept help. When we cannot live our own lives because of the preoccupation of othe...

DavidG · DavidG

I am over on the coast painting. One of my two ewes had a lamb this week. In my years in Alanon I have learned the power of other people. For quite some time ~the people in the programme~ was my higher power. This is still a part of what my higher power is today. I am painting a roof... ...I got out...

yanksfan51 · yanksfan51

Good morning everyone: Todays reading is a focus on one aspect of the fallout from being a child of an alcoholic. The writer describes vowing never to drink (the vow many children of alcoholics make). The writer finds another path to drunkenness though: feelings. The writer describes being unable...

PosiesandPuppies · PosiesandPuppies

"Today my best is good enough." Today's reading is about learning to validate yourself. To stop looking for validation from outside sources. Examples were given: the work project was a success, but somehow we are not satisfied unless someone says so. Or the dinner prepared was delicious and nutrit...

Debb · Debb

Todays ODAT reading suggests that when something unkind is said or done to us; that hurt our feelings, that detachment is the best way to turn the hurt feelings off,until we can figure out what our responsibility is for the unkindness. Once we figure out if there was something we did to cause the unkin...

DavidG · DavidG

A word I hear a lot, coming out of the USA. Service above self. More so than any other place I have been to. Through the middle of my day- Thursday- I have watched events unfold over there. Tradition 10 here- absolutely. But I am impressed- I notice it one whole lot- how this service ethos...

Maresie888 · Maresie888

#Our common welfare should come first# How lucky I am to be in a.group.that welcomes people of all ages, all denominations and at all phases of recovery. Indeed the newcomer is always welcomed.warmly into this group After a tumultuous year full of unheard of stressors.we.have.kept this group....

Debb · Debb

I had an opportunity to practice JADE two evenings ago with AH. Believe it or not he was flipping out about a mouse that was scratching behind the corner baseboard of his bedroom. Was fit to be tied that he could not go to sleep in the room. I suggested he sleep on the couch. Sounds like a simple solutio...

Maresie888 · Maresie888

One of the things that Betty would say to me when she had listened to my problems with dysregulation is to light a candle Betty had a practice of going to church and lighting a candle for others. I really appreciated the thought of her good intentions and hope for me. I thought of Betty as in invincible a...

Freetime · Freetime

Today's author was concerned that their newly sober family member would start drinking again, even trying to control other family members' behavior so they wouldn't cause the alcoholic to relapse -- and this attempt at control was rejected! Finally the author accepted that they were just as po...

DavidG · DavidG

Short- for once... Betty dug deep- made over 17,000 shares on this board. She manoevred, and she cajoled sometimes... but by and large she maintained a focus on herself. maybe 6 or 8 of us took her place. Maybe 18 or 24... her rich and deep legacy lies on. ... We honour her by continuing her legacy...

Skorpi · Skorpi

Hello MIP! In today's reading, the author reflects on the importance of reaching out to other Al-Anon members between meetings. Like many Al-Anon members, the author arrived with a heavy burden due to the impact of alcoholism. Reaching out to Al-Anon members who will listen patiently helps to rel...

Lighthouse · Lighthouse

Hello, I've been thinking about going to an Al-Anon meeting for a while, I've looked up dates and times in my local area and today even thought "If I find one that's on today, I'll go"... but then when I found one WAS on today I felt too terrified and closed the browser window immediately. I find it hard to b...

Enigmatic · Enigmatic

Today's author misunderstood compassion toward the alcoholic to include making excuses or covering for them monetarily. AlAnon suggests this behavior is 'enabling' the alcoholic to progress in their disease without facing the consequences. Enabling interferes by lengthening the time it tak...

cranberry · cranberry

I'm new to this board. Not new to living with an alcoholic husband. 12 years, 6 sober and some short/long stints of sobriety. The holidays have been somewhat tricky over the years. My parents come to visit as both kids live in the same city. We split the time, Dad stays one place a week and Mom the oth...

Lyne · Lyne

For Monday, 1/4, Im beginning with the reminder: My own way of thinking often deceives me. I can see but a little way. When I realize that people are learning to solve their problems in over 30,000 alanon groups all over the world, wouldnt I be punishing myself needlessly to reject this wonderful wa...

Hoot Nanny · Hoot Nanny

Today I am celebrating the anniversary of my first meeting. I didn't get here on my own. There were many people who helped me and paved the way to my recovery. I was just thinking about how many sponsors I had over the years & a lot of qualifiers. I guess I jumped in with both feet at first but then everyt...

Maresie888 · Maresie888

When I was going to face to face meetings I did not see the benefit of using each month to work on the steps and of course the traditions. Of course my focus was on how to chsnge others not myself because I wad desperately looking for co regulation rather than self regulation. I could not conceive of getti...

yanksfan51 · yanksfan51

Good morning everyone and Happy New Year- Todays reading is about all of the tools that are available to us in alanon to help us make our way through our lives. The writer begins with a reminder for us to consider alcoholism as a disease, not a fault. We can recover from the effects of this disease, alth...

DavidG · DavidG

Christmas and New Year went well- smoothly... ...the previous year i fell deflated and sad. So over the year I moved more into the present. Successfully, as it appears. The year's turning I always count down from June 21st, which is midwinter here. My goal was to complete Step 12 last year and have a l...

Wolfie55 · Wolfie55

Merry Christmas from Canada. I wasn't here for a bit. Busy busy. I was back to work for a few months but when the second wave hit, the house I work in went on lockdown again and I was laid off this time. I'm supposed to return to work in January so it was nice to have the holiday season off. Xmas Eve, I attended...

PosiesandPuppies · PosiesandPuppies

WELCOME 2021! We have been anxiously awaiting your arrival. Be gentle with us... it's been a long, tough year.

Today's reading is from The Language of Letting Go by Melody Beattie, and is a bout Healthy Limits...

Freetime · Freetime

I feel so fortunate to get to post today's reading for January 1. It's all about my favorite slogan -- One Day At A Time. The reading starts by mentioning that we live in a time of instant gratification -- instant coffee, instant money from bank machines. etc. Courage to Change was published in 1992...

Jessiray · Jessiray

I am new here, not able to go to a meeting in my area because of covid. I will try to summarize this. My daughters dad didnt come around to wanting to meet her until she was 8 months old. She is now 2 and he has been living with us for a year. He really didnt drink a lot at first. Every once awhile it was every weeke...

Topic		Started By	Replies	Views	Last Post
	Vipers or rather how to have boundsries (Preview) -- Edited by Maresie888 on Friday 29th of January 2021 01:07:53 PM -- Edited by Maresie888 on Friday 29th of January 2021 02:51:42 PM	Maresie888	4	679	Jan 31, 2021 by DavidG
	I wept at my f2f meeting... (Preview) Hi y'all... I don't have to keep Alanon going, worldwide. I still need keep the focus on myself... ...and i seem to manage to do this. I wondered if i had loyalty issues, with gin got another group. Seems not. I wept at my meeting last night. Tears of relief really. I could have killed myself anyti...	DavidG	3	597	Jan 29, 2021 by PosiesandPuppies
	January 28, 2021 – ODAT – Let Go and Let God (Preview) Todays ODAT reading suggests that when we are faced with the disruption, pain and disgrace that iscaused by living with an alcoholic that we are sometimes faced with desperation and confusion. We know that action is required which can take many different forms of impartial counsel, but themost fi...	Debb	6	815	Jan 28, 2021 by WendyP
	Detachment with Love (Preview) I am currently trying to set boundaries with my parent alcoholic. He is a very loving father but when he drinks it is like talking to another person. He has been dealing with alcoholism for quite some time now, has been to rehab twice but hasnt kept up with AA or a regular program. A few years ago he and my mo...	MrRy2020	9	1137	Jan 28, 2021 by a4l
	Courage to Change January 27 (Preview) Hello MIP! In today's reading from C2C, the author shares a moment when they were able to recognize that they were really in trouble: There were unwashed dishes in the sink, and this triggered the author to consider throwing someone they loved very much out of their life forever. The author realized...	Skorpi	7	560	Jan 27, 2021 by Maresie888
	Grief Betty one year anniversary (Preview) I started a grief support group yesterday night Going to the group actually related to a friend of mine who committed suicide. At the time of his suicide my therapist told me I needed to know exactly what happened around his entirely unexoected death. One of my charactor traits is righteousness....	Maresie888	2	606	Jan 27, 2021 by bud
	1/26/2021 ODAT - Temporary or way of Life? (Preview) Today's page notes that it is desperation over another's drinking that drives most of us to AlANon. Many are surprised when, instead of instruction on how to 'control' the alcoholic, the program provides guidance on how to do just the opposite. Some who find success in this approach mistakenly thi...	Enigmatic	4	567	Jan 27, 2021 by SunnyFrogs
	ODAT in alanon, 1/25 (Preview) The reading for Monday, 1/25, discusses exactly how to correct our faults. We just cant eliminate or will them away. The author says that bad habits must be replaced with their opposites, substituting the positive for the negative, thus the I WILL for the I WONT. Reminder: If I am morose and discon...	Lyne	7	669	Jan 25, 2021 by SunnyFrogs
	Hope for Today Jan 25 (Preview) Today's reading speaks about learning to have fun and to play. The author states that were raised as a child of two alcoholic parents. They identify as being industrious and goal-oriented. Learning to play and have fun doesn't come naturally to them but they would like to include these forms of relax...	tiredtonite	5	585	Jan 25, 2021 by SunnyFrogs
	Mantra for Sunday (Preview) BACKGROUND: As happens more times than not, I return from my condo and re-enter my home with my A. The dog goes back and forth with me which adds fuel to the fire. I prepare myself on Saturdays using my program tools to enter the marital situation in neutral, and sometimes hopeful that we can have peac...	Lyne	7	573	Jan 25, 2021 by Lyne
	Shut out of my grandchild's life (Preview) Hi everyone I hope you are all keeping well, I haven't posted in a long time, thankfully I haven't needed to but now I have a dilemma and would really appreciate feedback from anyone who has been through similar and even if you haven't, some recovery perspective, please! My son is an addict, he has bee...	Sorcha	15	1705	Jan 25, 2021 by WendyP
	Learning to see the wider Alanon- in my own neck of the woods... (Preview) I had this kind of dream- or vision- of being a tiny part of a wider Alanon movement ...which includes other 12 steps groups... I had been to Stepping Stones in upper state NY. I talked with Betty [Hotrod] abut this. She had been there too. Maybe with a large group. We were overseas visitors. Just my S...	DavidG	6	2291	Jan 24, 2021 by DavidG
	Hope for Today Jan 24 (Preview) Good morning everyone: Todays reading is about maintaining serenity in our lives. The writer describes how willingly some of us hand off our serenity when encountering alcoholic behavior. In this reading it is compared to our reaction when someone asks for the salt to be passed at a meal. Not even th...	yanksfan51	5	589	Jan 24, 2021 by PosiesandPuppies
	Courage to Change - January 22 (Preview) Hello MIP friends, I am posting quite late and shorter than usual. I've been without internet for a few days, hopefully being fixed tomorrow, and this has been quite a lesson in Acceptance. But meanwhile, I am humbled to be able to post about this reading which tells me the true meaning of Detachment. ...	Freetime	6	1907	Jan 24, 2021 by Iamhere
	Backdraft (Preview) There are now some new technical terms to describe some of our issues in recovery One of them is #backdraft# that is when we start applying boundaries, regulating our emotions and doing better self care we sometimes have to deal with even more symptoms The other issue of course is when we begin to set...	Maresie888	8	1698	Jan 24, 2021 by Maresie888
	C2C 1/23/21 (Preview) Today in Courage to Change, the pages talk about Step 3: we "Made a decision to turn our will and our lives over the the care of God as we understood Him." I will be quoting directly from the pages: "This is a big decision for those of us who have a tough time making even small decisions. Until I found Al-Anon...	PosiesandPuppies	4	563	Jan 24, 2021 by Maresie888
	Courage to Change January 20 (Preview) Hello MIP! In today's reading, the author reflects on anonymity in Al-Anon. "Anonymity is the spiritual foundation of all our traditions" The author shares that anonymity lets us leave WHAT we are at the door, and get to know WHO we are. We can leave the surnames, labels, and expectations we have bee...	Skorpi	8	1588	Jan 24, 2021 by Maresie888
	Married a recovering alcholic who recently fell off the wagon after 18 years sobriety (Preview) I have just joined and want to first say how comforting this group is. Thank you all. I married my husband in 2009 after being a single mom for 18 years. He had two children from a previous marriage (which broke up because of his drinking) and his 13-year old son lived with him. He was very upfront about...	Nancym	7	1823	Jan 23, 2021 by Nancym
	A Share... (Preview) In the day- I went to a neighbouring town with a group of AA's. They dropped my off at the home of a wife- when they went to the meeting. W. told me that she did not want to go to Alanon. She said it would open up a can of worms for her. After all this time hubby is still in AA- and she is as right as rain. I was the op...	DavidG	8	1703	Jan 22, 2021 by SunnyFrogs
	On behalf of my kids... (Preview) Hi! This message board was very helpful to me when I left my marriage almost 4 years ago. My ex is an active alcoholic. I mistakenly thought things would get better for my children and me once I finally moved out and took the youngest with me. The two older ones were already living on their own. Things did g...	GracieP	6	964	Jan 19, 2021 by Maresie888
	1/19/21 ODAT – Just For Today… (Preview) Today's Reminder: "Just for today I will live through this day only, and not tackle all my problems at once. I can do something for twelve hours that would appall me if I felt I had to keep it up for a lifetime.""I will slow my pace. If I am under pressure and setting myself deadlines and worrying about tomo...	Enigmatic	6	593	Jan 19, 2021 by JerryF
	Back-yard stuff... (Preview) I have chooks in the back yard. Hens- that is... The grandkids had chooks first. I always wanted them.Their dad said they had to go- and i took them over. I still have one aging non-laying bantam as a result of this. But three layers, as well... We are lucky. one daughter in the next town. Oldest daugh...	DavidG	10	1094	Jan 19, 2021 by Maresie888
	C2C, 1/18 (Preview) The reading for Monday, 1/18, talks about why we need to focus on ourselves. The reminder says: Is the help I offer truly loving or do I have other motives? Am I trying to change another person or get them to do what I want? Talking it over with my sponsor can offer perspective. My best hope for helping...	Lyne	5	1261	Jan 18, 2021 by SunnyFrogs
	Hope for Today Jan 17 (Preview) Good morning everyone- Todays page focuses on the concept of letting go. The writer compares his/her own struggle with opening up to the flowers in a bouquet- some of the buds remained closed, others were open with bloom on display. The writer notes that he/she often used restraint out of fear that ot...	yanksfan51	5	1009	Jan 17, 2021 by SunnyFrogs
	Taking Out The Trash (Preview) This morning I opened up my online Journal that I've been writing in since probably 2010 or 2011. On the side is a list of all the entry titles and I was sad and surprised to see just how many are about AH and all of our problems and fights. I was even sadder to realize how many years this has been going on and no...	SunnyFrogs	6	760	Jan 17, 2021 by SunnyFrogs
	Recovering addict boyfriend pushing me away Al-anon alcohol boyfriend loved one distance space (Preview) Hi my name is Jaylie. I have been with my boyfriend for 2 years in January 5th. We met as juniors in high school. and started dating almost a full year later mid senior year. Since then it has been a roller coaster of emotions. we had a really good relationship for the first 4 months. He smoked weed I hated it...	Jayliejewell	3	2878	Jan 17, 2021 by Iamhere
	Self care redux (Preview) I have spent the last few days doing self care then setting up systems where I can continue that self care However I note that many of my friends like me have neglected big portions of self care One of my friends for example went to Las Vegas for New Years. Quite apart from the fact that no one is supposed to...	Maresie888	9	2890	Jan 17, 2021 by Maresie888
	COURAGE TO CHANGE - SATURDAY (Preview) Today's reading speaks of learning to "Think." The author speaks of before Al-Anon, they would speak whatever entered their mind. Angry accusations were met with their own angry accusations... an urge to betray a confidence, to gossip were unstopped. Now they stop and "Think." Therefore, they ma...	PosiesandPuppies	8	582	Jan 16, 2021 by Iamhere
	Denying ourselves (Preview) Currently my expenses are more than my income. I.have had an unexpected medical expense that is pretty big. Staging it out is really scary. As a child most of my needs were not met. As an adult I.have been around people who are notoriously selfish. I learned to.ignore and squash my needs around them ...	Maresie888	5	1655	Jan 15, 2021 by Maresie888
	Courage to Change - January 15 - Worry (Preview) Today's reading describes a day in the life of someone worried about a crisis happening to an alcoholic -- unable to concentrate at work, projecting horrible outcomes, dreading what the future may bring. The slogan One Day at a Time helps prevent leaping into the future. Worrying does not protect us...	Freetime	6	1058	Jan 15, 2021 by Iamhere
	January 14, 2021 – ODAT – Honesty With Ourselves (Preview) Todays ODAT reading suggests that if we know or sense that someone is resentful or dislikes us that we can seek to understand why. It is then, when we are honestly seeking those answers that we can learn, not only about ourselves but to have an opportunity to makeamends if necessary. It is suggested th...	Debb	8	747	Jan 14, 2021 by SunnyFrogs
	Need Some Input! (Preview) I have been working the 12 steps for the past 4 weeks. Have to admit when I restarted, I looked over my original work back in 2014, cause I saved what I did, that it was a real help to see that what I did was basically the same as now! Not sure if that is good or bad. The reason I need input is because I feel stu...	Debb	9	1687	Jan 14, 2021 by SunnyFrogs
	Failed again (Preview) Ive been trying very hard not to engage when AH is drinking. This holiday season went as usual: He has multiple days off and all of them are spent getting drunk. Im trying to accept that he does this, to take care of myself and leave him be to do what he wants. Detach and do my own thing. Sure enough tonight he...	Seahorse7	13	2760	Jan 13, 2021 by Debb
	Step 12. (Preview) I would like to share about Step 12 and what it means to me, I feel the Gratitude towards The Higher Power, who I call God, for giving this wonderful Spiritual Program to both Dr Bob and Bill for AA, and Louis and Anne for our wonderful program. Then for both parties for having the courage, strength and com...	WendyP	5	903	Jan 13, 2021 by DavidG
	Courage to Change January 13 - spiritual freedom (Preview) Hello MIP! Today's reading from C2C is about spiritual freedom. The author shares that they received spiritual freedom through Al-Anon because the program encourages us each to find a personal understanding of a Higher power, and to allow others to do the same. A personal understanding of HP and...	Skorpi	6	1609	Jan 13, 2021 by DavidG
	1/12/21 Courage to Change – Detachment (Preview) Today's author observed a colony of bees and drew a parallel to detachment from the alcoholic. By not poking into their business, especially when there may be physical, spiritual or emotional risk, we can avoid getting stung when we maintain a safe distance. We still love them, but we recognize the r...	Enigmatic	7	2344	Jan 13, 2021 by PosiesandPuppies
	How Alanon Works for Families & Friends of Alcoholics: Detachment and Forgiveness (Preview) For Monday, 1/11, I came across some amazing ideas from the book titled above. The author states that recovery is about reclaiming our own lives, learning to focus on ourselves, build on our strengths, and ask for and accept help. When we cannot live our own lives because of the preoccupation of othe...	Lyne	7	3481	Jan 13, 2021 by Bettertomorrow
	... this is just a little share... (Preview) I am over on the coast painting. One of my two ewes had a lamb this week. In my years in Alanon I have learned the power of other people. For quite some time ~the people in the programme~ was my higher power. This is still a part of what my higher power is today. I am painting a roof... ...I got out...	DavidG	5	6212	Jan 12, 2021 by Maresie888
	Hope for Today Jan 10 (Preview) Good morning everyone: Todays reading is a focus on one aspect of the fallout from being a child of an alcoholic. The writer describes vowing never to drink (the vow many children of alcoholics make). The writer finds another path to drunkenness though: feelings. The writer describes being unable...	yanksfan51	6	3587	Jan 11, 2021 by DavidG
	Courage to Change Saturday (Preview) "Today my best is good enough." Today's reading is about learning to validate yourself. To stop looking for validation from outside sources. Examples were given: the work project was a success, but somehow we are not satisfied unless someone says so. Or the dinner prepared was delicious and nutrit...	PosiesandPuppies	5	6107	Jan 10, 2021 by Maresie888
	January 7, 2021 – ODAT – Detaching From The Hurt (Preview) Todays ODAT reading suggests that when something unkind is said or done to us; that hurt our feelings, that detachment is the best way to turn the hurt feelings off,until we can figure out what our responsibility is for the unkindness. Once we figure out if there was something we did to cause the unkin...	Debb	6	3160	Jan 9, 2021 by DavidG
	S e r v i c e ... (Preview) A word I hear a lot, coming out of the USA. Service above self. More so than any other place I have been to. Through the middle of my day- Thursday- I have watched events unfold over there. Tradition 10 here- absolutely. But I am impressed- I notice it one whole lot- how this service ethos...	DavidG	7	717	Jan 9, 2021 by Maresie888
	Tradition one (Preview) #Our common welfare should come first# How lucky I am to be in a.group.that welcomes people of all ages, all denominations and at all phases of recovery. Indeed the newcomer is always welcomed.warmly into this group After a tumultuous year full of unheard of stressors.we.have.kept this group....	Maresie888	7	852	Jan 9, 2021 by Lyne
	JADE (Preview) I had an opportunity to practice JADE two evenings ago with AH. Believe it or not he was flipping out about a mouse that was scratching behind the corner baseboard of his bedroom. Was fit to be tied that he could not go to sleep in the room. I suggested he sleep on the couch. Sounds like a simple solutio...	Debb	22	2659	Jan 9, 2021 by Maresie888
	Lighting a candle for Betty (Preview) One of the things that Betty would say to me when she had listened to my problems with dysregulation is to light a candle Betty had a practice of going to church and lighting a candle for others. I really appreciated the thought of her good intentions and hope for me. I thought of Betty as in invincible a...	Maresie888	6	2980	Jan 8, 2021 by Jill
	Courage to Change - January 8 (Preview) Today's author was concerned that their newly sober family member would start drinking again, even trying to control other family members' behavior so they wouldn't cause the alcoholic to relapse -- and this attempt at control was rejected! Finally the author accepted that they were just as po...	Freetime	5	883	Jan 8, 2021 by PosiesandPuppies
	Christmas-Family-Betty. (Preview) Short- for once... Betty dug deep- made over 17,000 shares on this board. She manoevred, and she cajoled sometimes... but by and large she maintained a focus on herself. maybe 6 or 8 of us took her place. Maybe 18 or 24... her rich and deep legacy lies on. ... We honour her by continuing her legacy...	DavidG	8	4254	Jan 7, 2021 by Maresie888
	Courage to Change January 6 (Preview) Hello MIP! In today's reading, the author reflects on the importance of reaching out to other Al-Anon members between meetings. Like many Al-Anon members, the author arrived with a heavy burden due to the impact of alcoholism. Reaching out to Al-Anon members who will listen patiently helps to rel...	Skorpi	6	2364	Jan 7, 2021 by WendyP
	Holding on By a Thread (Preview) Hello, I've been thinking about going to an Al-Anon meeting for a while, I've looked up dates and times in my local area and today even thought "If I find one that's on today, I'll go"... but then when I found one WAS on today I felt too terrified and closed the browser window immediately. I find it hard to b...	Lighthouse	5	2670	Jan 6, 2021 by WendyP
	1/5/21 Courage to Change – Compassion, or Enabling? (Preview) Today's author misunderstood compassion toward the alcoholic to include making excuses or covering for them monetarily. AlAnon suggests this behavior is 'enabling' the alcoholic to progress in their disease without facing the consequences. Enabling interferes by lengthening the time it tak...	Enigmatic	9	2591	Jan 5, 2021 by Ann_Y
	New and at Fault (Preview) I'm new to this board. Not new to living with an alcoholic husband. 12 years, 6 sober and some short/long stints of sobriety. The holidays have been somewhat tricky over the years. My parents come to visit as both kids live in the same city. We split the time, Dad stays one place a week and Mom the oth...	cranberry	9	3311	Jan 5, 2021 by Maresie888
	ODAT in alanon, Monday, January 4th (Preview) For Monday, 1/4, Im beginning with the reminder: My own way of thinking often deceives me. I can see but a little way. When I realize that people are learning to solve their problems in over 30,000 alanon groups all over the world, wouldnt I be punishing myself needlessly to reject this wonderful wa...	Lyne	5	610	Jan 4, 2021 by DavidG
	35 years today! (Preview) Today I am celebrating the anniversary of my first meeting. I didn't get here on my own. There were many people who helped me and paved the way to my recovery. I was just thinking about how many sponsors I had over the years & a lot of qualifiers. I guess I jumped in with both feet at first but then everyt...	Hoot Nanny	5	641	Jan 4, 2021 by Maresie888
	Step one revisited January 2021 (Preview) When I was going to face to face meetings I did not see the benefit of using each month to work on the steps and of course the traditions. Of course my focus was on how to chsnge others not myself because I wad desperately looking for co regulation rather than self regulation. I could not conceive of getti...	Maresie888	7	886	Jan 4, 2021 by Iamhere
	Hope for Today January 3 (Preview) Good morning everyone and Happy New Year- Todays reading is about all of the tools that are available to us in alanon to help us make our way through our lives. The writer begins with a reminder for us to consider alcoholism as a disease, not a fault. We can recover from the effects of this disease, alth...	yanksfan51	6	706	Jan 4, 2021 by Maresie888
	A year's turning- goals, hopes and dreams... (Preview) Christmas and New Year went well- smoothly... ...the previous year i fell deflated and sad. So over the year I moved more into the present. Successfully, as it appears. The year's turning I always count down from June 21st, which is midwinter here. My goal was to complete Step 12 last year and have a l...	DavidG	7	691	Jan 4, 2021 by Maresie888
	Gratitude List (Preview) Merry Christmas from Canada. I wasn't here for a bit. Busy busy. I was back to work for a few months but when the second wave hit, the house I work in went on lockdown again and I was laid off this time. I'm supposed to return to work in January so it was nice to have the holiday season off. Xmas Eve, I attended...	Wolfie55	15	1627	Jan 3, 2021 by Maresie888
	Welcome 2021 - The Daily Jan 2 (Preview) WELCOME 2021! We have been anxiously awaiting your arrival. Be gentle with us... it's been a long, tough year. Today's reading is from The Language of Letting Go by Melody Beattie, and is a bout Healthy Limits...	PosiesandPuppies	4	702	Jan 3, 2021 by Maresie888
	Courage to Change - January 1 (Preview) I feel so fortunate to get to post today's reading for January 1. It's all about my favorite slogan -- One Day At A Time. The reading starts by mentioning that we live in a time of instant gratification -- instant coffee, instant money from bank machines. etc. Courage to Change was published in 1992...	Freetime	18	914	Jan 3, 2021 by mamalioness
	My daughters dad (Preview) I am new here, not able to go to a meeting in my area because of covid. I will try to summarize this. My daughters dad didnt come around to wanting to meet her until she was 8 months old. She is now 2 and he has been living with us for a year. He really didnt drink a lot at first. Every once awhile it was every weeke...	Jessiray	8	700	Jan 3, 2021 by Maresie888
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The material presented here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method to exchange information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal level.