The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
Good morning MIP....happy Thanksgiving to one and all. I am grateful each of you is a part of my journey.
Today's reading is about the family disease of alcoholism. Many of us arrive to Al-Anon and aren't certain if we belong. As we learn more about the disease and it's reaches, we come to see that even if active disease is not currently present, we can still be affected.
When we decide, we can get off the merry-go-round by choosing recovery. Al-Anon provides support from others who truly understand what we're going through - our actions, thoughts, reactions, emotions, etc. When we open our minds/hearts, and become willing, we find recovery, fellowship and new ways to thrive.
Reminder: In Al-Anon I find people who understand as few others can. If I have been affected by the drinking of another, I need not doubt that I belong.
Quote from . . . In All Our Affairs: "No matter what the difficulty, no matter how unique we feel, somewhere nearby are men and women with similar stories who have found help, comfort, and hope through recovery in Al-Anon."
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My story is not unique; I arrived feeling so down, angry, desperate and broken and truly had no hope. I had lost myself in this disease and with the diseased. I thought I understood that Alcoholism is a disease yet came to realize I had not truly accepted it. Thus began my journey of processing many, many disconnects between my head and my heart.
What I did discover is that I am one who's 4th or 5th generation born into this disease. My boys followed. It's deadly, damaging, consuming and super powerful. It's a disease of the mind, heart, soul and body. It's a family disease as usually everyone is affected.
I also learned there is hope and help in recovery. Learning new ways of dealing with the disease and the diseased can restore us to sanity and return joy. When I am willing to grow, learn and change, hope springs eternal.
Love and light all - may your day be blessed and may gratitude envelope you, just for today!
__________________
Practice the PAUSE...Pause before judging. Pause before assuming. Pause before accusing. Pause whenever you are about to react harshly and you will avoid doing and saying things you will later regret. ~~~~ Lori Deschene
Thank you I am here for your commitment to the program.
I spent many miserable Thanksgivings. I now am starting to.say there are certain people who I do not need in my life on any level
That is wholly self absorbed incoherent people who I used to relate to so generously with my time. That is or the willfully impulsive anti social ones who are so reckless with their lives and the lives of everyone around them. Their impulsivity naturally affected me greatly. Now I keep clear of those individuals.
I started to.say I deserve a better quality of life. I deserve to have a moment's reprieve rather than be affected by other people's behavior on a minute by minute basis.
One of the issues I have certainly struggled on a life long basis with is depression, the kind of major depression that has swallowed up so many other people. Battling that depression is tremendously difficult.
My dear friend John sucumbed to his depression 3 years ago. He commited suicide over the holidays two days before Christmas. To me he was invincible. An invincibility he bolstered with alcohol. Alcoholism comes in many many forms.
My friend John also like many alcoholic's white knuckled it. He made his invincibility look good with the perfect pain stakingly rennovated house, the devotion to music (he wanted to play blue grass) He had all the camaflage of having it all together. When I was the one supposedly stumbling along. He ripped through the corporate culture we worked in. Like a martial artist he dismantled a corporate management system that relied on extraordinary corruption. John did all that but he could not save himself from depression.
I know how deadly depression can be and I have found some extremely dysfunctional ways to navigate it.
Depession can pop up like a mole you thought was gone particularly over the holidays. The same holidays that took my friend John because of course he could not call in sick because he was invincible. He could not out himself first in a culture that demands workaholism.
I know my family lineage is full of people who tried ever more dysfunctional ways to manage their depression.
White knuckling is how I made it through much of this year. I came real close to putting myself into a coma because I failed to realise I was ill. After all like my friend John I can white knuckle through World War 3 if needbe.
On this holiday season having to work through the entire holiday I now have to find new ways to negotiate reality. How I always hated reality because I simply could not cope with it
I know very much how real this disease is. I also know it takes every bit of resourcefulness I have to manage my own issues let alone any one else's desire to get drunk through the holidays
Thank you for your Thanksgiving experience strength and hope.
Maresie
-- Edited by Maresie888 on Thursday 26th of November 2020 10:32:43 AM
Thanks IAH for your service. Yes its very sad when alcoholism is passed down from generation to generation. I know that to be true. And then there is the case of my A, where I am unaware of other addicted people in the FOO.
Also interesting is that in my FOO, we had a raging brother and no addiction. Yet both my sister and I have married alcoholics.
Happy Thanksgiving to my MIP family. Im grateful today for all of you!
As always, I am grateful for your service to MIP, Iamhere.
I love that I can jump on here and get my program bolstered... either by the share (Daily) directly, or by another's ESH!
I am grateful to have this program that helps me to navigate my new world. A single world. It is sometimes lonely... especially during the holidays. However, my HP has blessed me with many things (some so small, it is hard to notice)! My program helps me to keep things in perspective, and to value what I do have. I find more and more that this is PRICELESS!
Happy Thanksgiving to all my MIP friends! May you take a moment out in this day to acknowledge and appreciate all your Higher Power has given you!
Stay healthy! &
__________________
"The wolf that thrives, is the one you feed." - Cherokee legend
"Hello, sun in my face. Hello you who made the morning and spread it over the fields... Watch, now, how I start the day in happiness, in kindness." Mary Oliver
Thank you also Sis and the rest of the MIP family. Thanksgiving is a reality for me also because of our programs. Had I not capitulated from my deep resistance I would not have survived it. Alcoholism and drug addiction also runs generationally in my families and after much program and education I let go of the surprises and have accepted my part in it including the affects and after-affects it has had on my children.
I am also a dual member and grateful to my Higher Power and the programs for the gifts of experience, strength, and hope which help me to move thru the insanity to peace of mind and sanity. My Higher Power is always along the way with me and we arrive side by side.
I have been blessed, truly blessed and have had my miracles witnessed by others and told by my HP what to do with them when asked so that others have been gifted also.
Happy Thanksgiving and keep coming back. Share what you have been gifted with so that others can feel the gratitude also.
Actially on Thanksgiving I was far more lonely in s relationship
I always felt my needs were not acknowledged
Then if and when I tried to.assert my needs the lashback was so vicious and so precise.
Dysfunctional vindictive impulsuve people lash out at others when they set boundaries it is a given an ansolute guarantee . The qualifiers mother was no.different. How could I possibly have a need seoarate from hers. Talk about self absorbed no one else existed exceot in relation to her exclusive orbit. Self absorbes to the extreme the true narcissist.
I am so happy to be celebrating Thanksgiving on my.own. I have delicious turkey soup from a local french vietnamese restaurant. Then I have a delicious meal They gave it to me because I serve on a local.committee. Being a good neighbor pays off in dividends. I am so grateful to have delicious food to.relish made with love and tenderness by a local chef.
I cannot wait to keep on celebrating this very significant holiday in my home on my.own terms with all this delicious food to.enjoy.
I have much to be grateful for and this board is one of them.
the phrase that stuck out for me was "as few others can..." ... it hit home.
I had heaps and heaps of brain g=fog in my life- and early years I covered all of these readings, over time...
...but a lot of the time they went in one ear, and out t'other, really. I was so distracted.
Even our opening and closing phrases... like this one.
The bonding that we do achieve over time is healing.
last night I went west and attending a meeting that is struggling. The Old timer there had a younger member attending. A north American by birth.
She chose to sit next to me on the couch. This made me feel really good- to know I have the vibes and the sense of trust.
Evening my eye contact and body language. Sharing has helped my heaps. I realise now that the DR's or Disticts Reps are there mainly to chair the assembly meetings. The role of the old timers can be to attend neighbouring meetings- to any meetings and spread a bit of love dust around.
Basically to offer ESH in other word. A kind and gentle word- or gesture can go a long way.
I have been through a bad patch these last 6 to 8 weeks. I have an old NA friend who is fast becoming a kind of sponsor.
We have so many friends in common, for a start... and life experience.
Not close to home here- but, at least, in the same country...
Because I can literally attend a meeting here daily, my understanding and spiritual growth has blossomed.
This bore fruit at the f2f last night.
Ah caint go next week because i will be over the coast painting a garage.
I don't have to be a goody-two-shoes any more- and I still have to go along for me.
& 
