The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
I was expected to go- having passed all the exams- but i needed an extra year, at least to "grow up".
I had been kicked out of home- something the school was not aware of. My mum and dad had come home from the pub- at about 7 pm and criticised my sister aged 12 because tea was not on the table. I stuck up for my sister- because there was nothing there for her to cook. And then I was told to leave- only the "f" word was used.
My life- to use a big word, became peripatetic- to say the least!
But y'all kin see- i have survived.
My dream was to finally complete a Step 12 and go onto Tradition 5 next year.
And I have already begun Trad 5. Was into it, in spirit from day one really.
A blustering blundering effort, of course, but a good motive.
I have shared many times that I was schooled in the Steps Traditions and Concepts early on in the piece. And I was able to do this side by side with AA.
Putting each point into practise is a different kettle of fish... this takes time, and experience.
having said that- I think the readings in ODAT, C2C and Hope, probably taught me just as much.
Being able to discuss these readings. in detail here, is a great boost too. ...
I am working on Step 12 and one other one as well, always feel the need to
rework the program, tend to learn something new each time. You are right
about putting the program into actually practice as another "kettle of fish"!
Your life sounds a bit like what my Dad experienced, his Mom abandoned him
and Dad could not care for him, so he was put in an orphanage for 3 years.
He finished High School after I was born, when he got his GED.
Dad went to carpentry and engineering classes and ended up as a bridge &
building boss for Metro North for 35 years. But that wasn't until I was
around 10 years old.
Life was a bit rough and tumble, there was always a "For Sale" sign on
the front lawn so the bank would not repossess the house.
Makes you appreciate what you have and so much more doesn't it??
Hope you have some lovely plans for the Holidays. I know we can't
visit with relatives, but maybe you are having a nice dinner with your
household?
__________________
"Forgiveness doesn't excuse bad behavior, but does prevent bad behavior from destroying your heart" ~ Unknown
... Our daughters are both going to their in-laws this year. I am must so very very grateful that there are no toxic conversations- in our generation about who is going where- and with whom. I hear that some families still do this sort of thing- and what is the point of trying to have a happy family occasion!
One thing I missed most in my world was a, learning how to have healthy adult conversations, b, and being able to communicate without getting angry or sullen. It is a cliche about whether it is about the presents or the presence... so. hey, so pleased you reached out and shared with me.
Looking for the moments in and around our group here... priceless, valuable... .
After starting this share- I decided to slip back to Step 11 and 10 even...
not to start a new topic and hog the board...
Step 11 I used to sleep instead of meditate- because i was exhausted. Maybe 5 or 6 years now I have learned to breath well. And end to panic breathing. Nose breathing instead of mouth breathing.
This was a vital part of my journey. Too much to detail here.
I had always struggled with suicidal thoughts. A terrible awful way to live.
I got heavily engaged with issues relating to C-PTSD.
And i work the ACA or ACoA programme alongside of Alanon.
I tend to push my boundaries, today insane constructive ways. Having this group/forum is ideal because there are no time limits to sharing. There is a certain amount of topic limit... based on an overall group conscience [I think!] but people are given the opportunity to test and prove these limits themselves- which I think is really healthy!
In short this group can be about group based journalling, in a sense, which i find to be healthy.
Today I reflect on the higher power topic in steps 2 and 3. I can review my responses to these vital steps.
How this knowledge carried me through the middle steps.
Coming to the end of the year I tend to review almost everything. Decide "to turn over a new leaf". To try to put anything right before 12 pm on New year's Eve.
I have catch-ups with various people. Yesterday Spent time with an old friend. Her son had employment issues. He bowled up and told us both how he had dealt with this- successfully. Wow!
But we expect kindness and goodwill to exist year round. I do anyway... ...
I never really completed my education.
Thanks for the opportunity to share... 