The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
Feelings aren't facts -- that is the theme of today's reading. The author came to understand that they could embody more than one feeling at a time, and that a situation wasn't necessarily all one thing or another, not a rigid choice between all good or all bad.
With this awareness, the author can feel angry at someone and still love them, fear a new experience and also move through it, feel sad and yet confident that happiness will come again.
Today's Reminder: Today I am learning to embrace my complexities and contradictions and to be grateful for the richness they bring.
Quote from Rose Macaulay: "Life, for all its agonies ... is exciting and beautiful, amusing and artful and endearing, ... and whatever is to come after it, we shall not have this life again."
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What I got from this reading, in addition to acknowledging that I am a complex human being and that not all of my feelings have to be either/or -- was also a reminder that my loved ones, alcoholic or not, are also complex human beings.
When I learned that my loved one's alcoholism was causing so many issues in our life, I began to see him as just one thing -- an alcoholic. In the chaos and fear, I forgot that he was also a complex human with many positive traits. My fear had overshadowed all the facts.
I can apply this to any person that I am reacting to -- with annoyance, anger, whatever -- and realize that perhaps I am reacting to only one part of them. I may have to separate myself from them for my own safety and serenity, but I can ease my resentment by remembering that they may be a many-faceted person, just like me, and at the moment I am only seeing one facet.
Thanks FT for your wonderful post along with your service. A hard lesson for me was that I could love someone I'm angry with. In my younger days, I didn't understand this. If I love you ,and you say you love me, why would you hurt me??? It seemed illogical. Well, fast forward, I've been hurt plenty of times by people who say they love me, and I have hurt those I love in the process of life. Growing up is filled with harsh realities. My decision to live half time apart from my A has been very hurtful. But for me it's a way to keep my marriage and serenity. I also can't please everyone all of the time, and now that I have a mind of my own, this is not appreciated by everyone. Ah well, the sun is shining for the moment and soon I will experience some joy by taking my dog and myself out for a walk.
Good morning MIP family. Thank you Freetime for your service and the daily. I feel today that I know even less about this complicated thing called life than I did when I was younger. With age comes wisdom, yet it's all based on past experiences. I've worked really, really hard to try and let go of the past as I do not want 'it' to define me.
I feel that when I am anywhere but the present, I am risking blocking myself from the sunlight of the spirit. I visit the past and hope for the future, but try to keep it pretty darn simple. And, yes, I am so grateful that recovery has given me the freedom to embrace that I can be sad yet still find joy. I can have fear, yet still embrace what unfolds in my days/life. I can trust my HP to guide me, one day at a time, to where I should be.
My oldest who's been distant this entire year called last night. I have a new grandson. My heart is filled with gratitude that everyone is good, the baby is healthy and they're safe at the hospital. And yet, I am sad as I have not seen my grand kids since February and don't know if/when I will meet the new baby. This is a direct result of this family disease that we all are affected by.
Before recovery, the heartbreak of distance between myself and my boys would have been paralyzing. I have tools today to respond different, do different and find joy and serenity daily. I am perfectly imperfect, and completely complex is my emotions. With proper tools, I no longer have to 'be' just one thing, feel one way, etc. Gratitude and hope are present more in my life than sadness, fear, despair, etc. Recovery has been a great gift I have given to me, from me.
Happy Friday all....it's cold here yet warming up. I am golfing this afternoon and am looking forward to it! Make it a great day...(((Hugs)))
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Practice the PAUSE...Pause before judging. Pause before assuming. Pause before accusing. Pause whenever you are about to react harshly and you will avoid doing and saying things you will later regret. ~~~~ Lori Deschene
Thank you Freetime for your service, I took away quite a lot from your share.
Enjoy that walk with your furbaby, Lyne!
Congratulations, Iamhere!! A GMa again! I identified with understanding I don't have to feel just one way, or be one thing. Thank you for putting that into simple words. Enjoy your golf day... I bet there aren't many more due to winter weather coming!
Hope you all stay safe & healthy, MIP Fam! &
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"The wolf that thrives, is the one you feed." - Cherokee legend
"Hello, sun in my face. Hello you who made the morning and spread it over the fields... Watch, now, how I start the day in happiness, in kindness." Mary Oliver
Thank you so mucb for your service. I have a hard time letting go. There are so many people not.wearing a mask. It is very very.very hard to.get beyond their abject selfishness.
As always I am grateful to be in this group. I am very lucky.to.have this daily reminder of what s program is.
I.am up.against a rock rught now. I paid down a lot of my bills. Still have a grear deal to pay. The virus us raging as we all know. It is like stepping on thin ice
Where would I be without this orogram?
Lynne. I hooe you have a wonderful walk with your dig.
My dog is still staying with ny friend. He us incredibky haooy. I.miss hin terribky
My schedule is off the charts busy. Absolutely commited to oaying down my bills.
I have to meet life where it is right now. That is not where I want it to be.
This reading spoke to me about my fear of doing things that are out of my comfort zone (read my post on Fear- living with the after affects of an alcoholic marriage for more detail into what I'm referring to.) "If we were frightened about taking a certain action, for example, then it was best to be avoided." This is what I've been dealing with in my fear of driving, cooking, showering and basic life activities. I have just been avoiding it as possible, but when it comes to daily activities of living, like the ones mentioned, you can't really avoid doing them; you have to in order to survive. Practicing 'Feelings are not Facts' is where I need to focus my thoughts. Like December 4th's reading says, "I can feel afraid of new experiences, yet move forward through them."
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I can Overcome all things through my HP who strengthens me.
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