The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
Today's author considers moderation in emotional reactions as a benefit of taking "one little" day at a time. One day can be easily managed if energy and effort are not spent where they ought not be: worrying about the past, dreading possible outcomes in the future, and raining unsolicited negativity or direction on others.
Reminder: If anything happens to disturb me today, is it my problem? Does it really matter? Is it important?
"Today I will observe how I react and what I am tempted to say or do". - Unknown ------------------------- Before I found AlAnon, I thought everything was important, was my problem, and really mattered. I rarely stayed in the moment and day. This approach yielded zero Serenity and endless unrest and unhappiness.
Today, my Serenity is predictable and determined by the extent I follow recommendations like these. So grateful
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Paul
"...when we try to control others, we lose the ability to manage our own lives." - Paths to Recovery
Thanks Paul for your service and ESH. Its a great reading on emotions. Since I put my dog down a month ago, I cry at the drop of a hatpeople getting married on tv, folks in line for food at a food bankit seems I cant control it. But should I try to? My brain is being triggered and Im having an emotional response. And when I go a bit deeper, I believe Im crying for many losses, another dog, cats, and people. But allowing this release does let me be in the moment, and I feel some relief after. Maybe practicing detachment with my A, which is nearly a daily exercise, has caused me to push some emotion aside. Im rambling on but Im trying to say its OK to feel and when I can stay in the day I have, Im better off. The past is over and the future hasnt happened. ODAT.
Happy Tuesday MIP family. Thank you Paul for your service and the daily. Thank you both for your ESH and shares. I have decided that I am not a fan of the entire holiday season as it seems to make me sad and recall many, many losses that tend to happen in our family around the holidays. Last year, I lost my golden girl cousin; several years ago, I lost an Aunt followed by a young cousin to a car wreck....and there are more. As best I know, and I don't know much, it is suggested by our program that I am to identify what I am feeling, determine if it's real/valid and then determine what action, if any, might help me through it.
So, as a general rule for my recovery, I try to add more service during the holiday season. This year, it's been a challenge just because we're all distant and staying home. I have donated blood consistently this year, donated money, and am reaching out to many who live alone, daily for some. Speaking only for myself, the more I strive to be of service to others, the better I feel about each day that comes my way.
I feel better and do better when I align with the present. Ruminating about the past, projecting about the future, etc. just rarely works out well in my mind. Grief is real and it just takes whatever it takes. I have no problem admitting my sadness today, I am just trying to not let it or negativity consume me. I have a choice each day to seek out joy and gratitude or not. I am very grateful for the many tools our program provides - options and choices are a much healthier way for me to live than allowing the past and more to consume and paralyze me.
It's darn cold here - grateful for my fleece jammies & fuzzy socks! We do have golf planned for Th & Fr this week - hoping it pans out....love and light all - enjoy your day, and find your joy!! (((Hugs)))
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Practice the PAUSE...Pause before judging. Pause before assuming. Pause before accusing. Pause whenever you are about to react harshly and you will avoid doing and saying things you will later regret. ~~~~ Lori Deschene
Thank you Paul for todays ODAT and to you, Lyne and IAH for your ESH. Lose is difficult, holidays make the reminders of those loses hard to work through.
I think it is even harder this year because of the isolation, without the family and friend gatherings to take the edge off. My service here warms my heart and
am sure that it must for all MIP members.
Staying in the present was a bit easy for me to reach because I had a lot of meditation training, Al-Anon gave me the tools to see why it was so important under the circumstances of alcoholism.
What I did not realize until I reached the steps of Al-Anon was that AH had a disease and that disease was making me sick, I just did not know what it was and what it was doing to me.
I learned that my emotional reactions to the damage being inflicted on me were my problem to deal with, after I was able to see the light!!
From darkness to light, what an amazing journey. Thank you Al-Anon.
Hope everyone is well, safe and warm.
-- Edited by Iamhere on Sunday 31st of January 2021 01:18:08 PM
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"Forgiveness doesn't excuse bad behavior, but does prevent bad behavior from destroying your heart" ~ Unknown
Thank you Paul for your service, and to all above who shared their ESH on this topic.
I really identified with what Paul posted. Especially this: "worrying about the past, dreading possible outcomes in the future, and raining unsolicited negativity or direction on others."
I work very hard to not live in that mindset anymore. For me, it takes work to stay in the present. Perhaps b/c I am a day-dreamer by nature. My mom once told me that I was born day-dreaming! LOL! In my younger school days, it did get me into the occasional trouble with the teacher. Occasionally now, it keeps my days off from being super productive. I take solace in the belief that when I am very old and spending my days in a nursing home, I won't be driven crazy by that environment... I will be content to day-dream my days away!
So yeah, I need to work on staying in the present!
Currently wondering why I am feeling increasingly depressed... I think Iamhere has hit it on the nail-head!! I have so many expectations for this time of year. Some perceived and some are from constant media bombardment. Perhaps it is time to look differently at this time of year. Food for thought!
Grateful to be awake, healthy, pain-free, and going to a job I love!
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"The wolf that thrives, is the one you feed." - Cherokee legend
"Hello, sun in my face. Hello you who made the morning and spread it over the fields... Watch, now, how I start the day in happiness, in kindness." Mary Oliver
David, I've heard "another day, another dollar" -- and I do like it better than what my life used to be, which was "another day, another disaster"! How about "another day, another delight" -- that's the approach I am trying to take now.
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