Al-Anon Family Group - Al-Anon Family Group

mjferg · mjferg

I haven't posted in a while,I came down with a bad head cold so I kind of just shut down and gave myself permission to deal with my cold and not stress about emotions or recovery.I received a phone call from my ex, it had been a while since I talked to him, well, I answered the phone and it was pretty much the sa...

hopes314 · hopes314

I found out my spouse has been drinking again. I feel like I am teetering on crazy. The lies.. unbelievable! Is it possible to raise 3 kids on my own with no family support? What do i do stay in a marriage because I can't afford a lawyer. So scared to be in a marriage like this. I just have no good choices i...

neshema2 · neshema2

I think I have been a closet agnostic all these years and due to some sort of shame or sense of failure or just thinking I am less then b/c I cannot really embrace a diety outside of myselfI stayed in the closet, hoping that program could help me find G-d as referenced in the 12 steps, not understanding that...

neshema2 · neshema2

TODAY I slept in and stayed warm on my day off, curled up in my blankets dreaming of happy things did laundry for my pets, washed their favorite towels on which they cuddle during cold season jacked up the heat JUST a BIT to treat me while I did my laundry Made myself a GREAT shake, now with peanut butter in i...

el-cee · el-cee

Sorry about my last post, confusing as it was. Ive kind of got peed off with alanon lately. Ive been working it for nearly 3 years, I love it, its changed my life but... im Still working it, im not cured. I know this is not rational or logic. High expectations are dodgy. Ive realised my shortcomings that he...

Hoot Nanny · Hoot Nanny

This will be a quick post. I am losing things & finding things & losing things again. I have no control over what happens. My mind is going slowly. But, I still have good days of course. Sometimes I have bad weeks! I am just going through a time. I am not going to keep things from my AH. He is not a thre...

jmc · jmc

Wow, So, I am new here and not even sure if I am in the right place. I am slowly coming to terms that my husband ,of over 11 years ,is an alcoholic. My heart is broke. He hides vodka all of the time and is always sorry about his lies but constantly continues to repeat the same mistakes over and over and over. We h...

Luiza · Luiza

So today exH went to collect daughter at school. I checked with him a lot of times that the arrangement was still on and that he has to take her to her choir practice at 5 and bring her straight back home when it finishes at 6. So she should be back home before 6.30. At 6.15 my friend from choir calls me to ask wh...

PP · PP

My father has dementia. My relationship with him has been painful and now it has become even more so as his disease progresses and his skills (which were already poor) at the filtering of his rage and narcissism is diminished. This weekend and some of the posts here recently have brought to the surf...

59lfva · 59lfva

Here I go again. This time it is not my father, sister, or husband. It's my grandchild's alcoholic custodial father who insists she must return to him. My grandchild has run away now for the third time etc. You all know that story. My grandchild has come to me this time. My heart can't send her back to him....

PP · PP

http://www.google.com/url?sa=t&rct=j&q=&esrc=s&source=web&cd=1&cad=rja&uact=8&ved=0CCEQyCkwAA&url=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.youtube.com%2Fwatch%3Fv%3D89h7JC85KHE&ei=ANhkVNKAOISmgwSpxIHgAw&usg=AFQjCNFkh4c0I91b7Ger_vY...

tpotterf · tpotterf

I am totally new here so please no hate if I am doing something I am not supposed to do ok. I need some advice and a place to talk. I am 49, happily married for 28 years and have a wonderful 14 year old daughter. Raised by total alcoholic parents. My husband and I rarely drink. I haven't spoken to my abusi...

beckon11 · beckon11

Hi all. I feel so alone and rejected by my own mother. We have been close for a lifetime. Yet over Her illness. Bipolar and dry drunks she completelyDisowned me. Also fought to disinherit me from our coowned property. I went from being her favorite. To being her enemy. My siblings also took their big...

Turris · Turris

Hi Guys, Long time no see! Glad to be back! I'm currently under a lot of pressure; looking for a new job and apartment etc, and the stress is erupting as anxiety and insomnia. Last night I went to bed at 10:30 pm, and at 6 am I was still wide awake! (It is currently 14:56 here, where I am writing from). I tho...

jmc · jmc

I must say that I am happy that I came across this site and everything I have read so far is very helpful. So many people here have given me a bit more hope but as I sit here, ready for bed, I just feel sad and overwhelmed by emotions. It's easy for me to keep myself busy throughout the day with my kids, my home, m...

grateful2be · grateful2be

I put this on my first Geez thread and decided that it might be better to start a new thread. As of yesterday's news, the stolen snowplow story got changed to stolen snowplow blades, hydraulic parts and a trailer which seems so much more feasible to me than entire snowplows. Even so, according to the ne...

cloudyskies · cloudyskies

I have been having a lot of bladder problems lately, and my urologist says I am having bladder spasms from caffeine. I always have one cup of coffee in the morning, but I drink cokes all day long. Apparently, it's the cokes causing my problem. Well, I have cut my coke consumption in half, and I am having te...

Mikeys Mom · Mikeys Mom

I have a boy of 25 living with me. He grew up with my kids and now rents an extra bedroom from me, But he is like a son to me and doesn't get much (has never gotten) parenting from his actual parents. He is drinking way too much and way too heavily. To black out state several times a week, often accompanied by ra...

Newlife girl · Newlife girl

Today AH have been married for 12 years. Not divorced yet...but that's the next step. I find myself angry, sad and really depressed. I just finished working my usual work stretch of 4 days in a row. I will finally say this, as I am not sure if I have already or not...and I just don't think it's a huge deal if I...

Mellie · Mellie

I am brand new. I am worried sick about my teen son. He never wants to be home because I know he is out there partying. He just started a job and called out on his 4th day of work. I haven't seen him since Thurs night. But I know where he is. I text and call him all the time but he doesn't usually get back to m...

KennyFenderjazz · KennyFenderjazz

I have a friend that, now that I have moved, lives 1 1/2 miles away. We are old friends, from college. We don't get together a lot because we don't have that much in common, but we do get together occasionally and love each other to death. Much like he's a family member. He's been having back problems, s...

el-cee · el-cee

Sometimes ive got a real urge to get to the nitty gritty, to say what isnt really said. To let it out there without the excuses, you know? To shake it up and stir it up. I get restless in the peace. I cant find progress in the peace. I know alanons about taking it slow, or is it really? If we knew freedom was wait...

grateful2be · grateful2be

Here's the deal: I'm introverted. This means I do little without first looking at "how will this affect me" rather than the extroverted "now what I can I do with this." I have some extroverted friends in program who go dancing every Monday. One of them invited me to meet her l...

Angelado1976 · Angelado1976

I live in NC and at the moment I am only allowing him supervised visitation but for when ever and as long as he wants. He doesn't choose to see her much but lately he has been claiming to be sober by sheer will he still refuses AA or any treatment program. Knowing his plan is to eventually take this to court...

oceanpine · oceanpine

I read a lot of comments here about the tendencies of the A spouse. They seem to tend to be the unloving one, the nasty one, the one who doesn't appreciate their spouse. In our situation, I seem to be all that. But part of it is because my H is passive. And crazy making. He does things that drive me crazy, and...

Mirandac · Mirandac

My dry ah still uses his nasty tone of voice when he speaks to me. how do i get him to stop. I try very hard to stay away from him and he does likewise. We write notes if needed or text but once in a awhile we still need to speak. We are going for mediatation on nov 17th, he will behave in there in front of people. ...

grateful2be · grateful2be

We are expecting a lot of snow in our area this week. So...........someone has stolen our Township's snowplows as of tonight's news. How in the world does anybody steal one snowplow let alone ALL the snowplows. I know this has nothing at all to do with alcoholism and yet...this caper is as mind-bog...

Fairlee · Fairlee

Hi! I am so behind on the board and there are some very good posts I need to respond too! Ya'll are always so inspiring - I just read and feel better! I went to a F2F meeting last week and I had a funny experience. I parked in the wrong place and went in the wrong meeting (AA meets next door) I am already a very aw...

Kerrymom · Kerrymom

I'm so tired of myself! Started alanon almost a year ago and it has changed my actions and thoughts, I was so angry and resentful. After figuring out AH was an alcoholic it was a relief to me, it wasn't what I was or wasn't doing, he wasn't choosing to check out of the family, etc. thankfully I didn't grow up...

Hoot Nanny · Hoot Nanny

Time is flying so I am getting by. Slowly I am coming around even w/ the pressure on me. I am still waiting for my mom to return. She is waiting for paperwork & a place to stay. Kathleen

cloudyskies · cloudyskies

I was doing a little reflecting this morning. This month is my six months anniversary with Al-Anon. Lately I have been taking some service responsibilities (chaired our meetings for a month and I'm going around to doctor's office placing Al-Anon literature) and I feel good about myself. While pu...

Luiza · Luiza

Finishing organising MY bedroom, I put up, on the top of shelve's unit, two photos of my wedding. One is exAH and our daughter when she was 6 months old and the other is a group photo of everyone who attended. So I am here on my computer and I look at the photos now and then. Why? I don't have a clue. I am just all...

andromeda · andromeda

My AH and I drove to the airport yesterday and he made a proposal to me for how we can handle this divorce. His words? "We do nothing." Umm, say what? He wants us to sell the house and then we both move into our own rentals and he will continue to support 2 households using the proceeds from the...

Collateral Damage · Collateral Damage

First of all, I want to apologize for lurking and reading, yet not sharing. That is unfair to you. But I am trying to feel more comfortable with sharing. So AH is 21 days sober today. We visited him in the facility on Sunday, where he announced that he wanted to go into extended care (another 90 days)...

Flower49 · Flower49

Hey Everyone! Hope you are all well. It's been a minute since I have posted anything and just wanted to give an update. Marriage counseling for us is going well, we are so blessed to have a man that has 48 years sobriety and also is well educated in not only addiction, but the affects on the family as well. S...

missmeliss · missmeliss

So last week my new landlady/friend said "I've done something naughty Mel. I saw something online I think you'll love so I've ordered it as a little housewarming gift". OK, wow, and awesome, she didn't tell me what it was so I was excited about waiting for a surprise in the mail. Anyway the ot...

Truth · Truth

Well actually it is storming..... Cooked some turkey supper and downloaded a book on Kindle called "Betrayal Bond"....kind of excited to relax

neshema2 · neshema2

Today , I got this really nice video from a recovery mate who forwarded it over to me and I was like "OMG....How timely and how appropriate after my coming out of the closet post" WHO AM I???? I've been asking that...What is my purpose????? been asking that too...Do I even have a life here...

missmeliss · missmeliss

Let's start with the bullet I dodged. And my very, very deep gratitude for the place I am staying, and the place I am not staying. My mother has been unkind, oh so unkind. I am so, so very glad I did not go there to stay. It has been 11 years now since I stayed there for 2 months after my marriage ended and now I re...

milkwood · milkwood

I am trying to figure out why I would like AH and I to be able to talk openly about stuff (not alcohol related stuff btw). The fact that we can't means that I keep my barriers up and I am not addressing my 'what would I like to do with my life' questions. Is it just an ego thing on my part (in which case I would wa...

Newlife girl · Newlife girl

Tonight I met my daughter and AH at the dog park. I wanted to see her and I also wanted the dogs to get out...he rarely takes them out. So, we met at dog park. On the way back to our vehicles, I asked him which lot he was in. He replied "there's only one right??" my reply "no...there's two&quo...

aquamom23 · aquamom23

I just caught myself smiling and exhaling. Tried something new last night. The impossible to get rid of a did his a thing last nite, only a bit more in my face,with some girl in the background but you know he never cheats,and only logs onto Ashley Madison cos he's curious about how the system works,and bl...

tucanojk · tucanojk

Hello all, I am new to this site and a new member of Al Anon. Thank you, tucanojk

tucanojk · tucanojk

Hello, I am new to this site and new to Al Anon. I am on my road to recovery. Thank you, tucanojk

John · John

Gawh, I miss you folks! I have spent a little time reading some post over the last few months, but haven't really been able to "plug in" and reply to them because by the time I get here, I am wiped out from a day of work, an evening of meeting, spending time with sponsees, being present and available in a rel...

grateful2be · grateful2be

Recently, I received an insurance premium notice in the mail for auto insurance. I read the Declarations page and discovered I was being charged for insurance I didn't need (loss of wages) since I'm now retired. I e-mailed my agent about it. No response. I called him about it. No response. I e-m...

Hullibee · Hullibee

I lived through my worst nightmare last night!! My eldest adult daughter got in a head on collision yesterday. She called me right after it happened before she called 911. She was crying and asked me to get her kids. I freaked!!! I was so scared. I went to get the three grandchildren and headed to ho...

mjferg · mjferg

I see my therapist on Thursday,and we uncover more stuff,I talked about some things that happened when I was a child and she gives me another book to read,this one is about shame.I was never good enough and I never pleased my father.My mom and I used to go hunt for him at bars,but I was the bad kid, really!!...

rainbow · rainbow

Yesterday I felt very depressed and lonely. I couldn't stop crying and kept thinking how much I was missing him. Today I gave in and talked to him. It was the best thing I could have done because I realised within a very short space of time that I had made the right decision to leave. He was drinking while we...

Hoot Nanny · Hoot Nanny

In dealing w/ others I believe that communication is of utmost importance. Now that my mom is coming back close to here, I am feeling much better because the communication lines are getting better. Not that before she got sick, it wasn't OK. But now I have the opportunity to get current w/ her, I can see h...

hotrod · hotrod

http://stepwork.activeboard.com/t58964018/alanon-step-7/Participate in your own recovery as well as the recovery of others, by being active on this board as we go through the 12 Steps...

stillhangingon · stillhangingon

My husband and I have been separated for a year. He has been to rehab twice for alcoholism. 5 months all together. He is going to AA almost every night and working the program with a sponsor but I haven't been able to understand his anger, mood swings, delusion and crazy plans. Sometimes he's nice to me a...

pinkchip · pinkchip

Of course music speaks to us. This song still makes me well up when I think about it and the meaning it has for me. It's a Fleetwood Mac song but Dixie chicks re-popularized it right around the time of the break up too. As the lyrics say, I was afraid of changing because I built my whole life around my ex (a...

Breakingfree · Breakingfree

So many times I felt like my exAH was this huge beautiful vessel. He save me from my childhood house and family of origin. He loved me more than anyone really ever had in the beginning and felt sorry for me because of things I had gone through. Over time I turned him into my HP and wanted to earn his love and p...

Lyne · Lyne

Well it's taken me months of alanon training but I think I am understanding some of the craziness that developed from my A. I wanted her to get better (she has multiple addictions) for ME! To make MY life and MY marriage better. And what I finally get is that I am the only one who can make my life better. ...

aquamom23 · aquamom23

let it go. That is what unfolds within me. My daughter is a daddies girl. To see him come home is like Elvis has entered the building,with cake. Her eyes sparkle,she clasps her hands together and calls daddy! Little footsteps charging down to the door. My mother was a daddies girl too. Her father was als...

mjferg · mjferg

Well my financial situation is not good and I am so emotionally tired I don't think it would be wise to add more stress as in working full time or a second job so I decided to sign up for some courses at a local community college and hopefully I will qualify for financial aid to help while I am studying, and th...

Momof2_1986 · Momof2_1986

So this is basically an introduction and my story cause I am brand new to this and am looking forward to sharing and listening with everyone. I am a 28 year old mom from Canada, of a 3 year old son and another on the way...due in 2 weeks actually, who are my world and I need to make changes in my life to better...

Hullibee · Hullibee

My AH is still drinking heavily. He moved out of our house and in with gf 5 weeks ago. I have been crying daily. I am having a great deal of trouble coping day to day. He comes over drunk and says mean things to me. Called me an ornery b***** because I sit and cry. He also said mean sexual things about gf a...

el-cee · el-cee

It seems to me that alanon is about living with good stuff and that seems to be the recipe for serenity, happiness, joy, peace, love etc. So if thats the case then the bad stuff often caused by living with alcoholism or other dysfunction is things like, anger, hate, bitterness, resentment, self righto...

	Sub Forum	Topics	Posts	Last Post
	Al-anon speakers - Read Only Al-anon speakers	2	2	October 26th by WebHelper
	Old sticky posts - Read Only Not sure what to do with these so parking them here.	6	91	Mar 10, 2026 by yopame7132

Topic		Started By	Replies	Views	Last Post
	manipulation! (Preview) I haven't posted in a while,I came down with a bad head cold so I kind of just shut down and gave myself permission to deal with my cold and not stress about emotions or recovery.I received a phone call from my ex, it had been a while since I talked to him, well, I answered the phone and it was pretty much the sa...	mjferg	6	594	Nov 14, 2014 by bud
	what can i do (Preview) I found out my spouse has been drinking again. I feel like I am teetering on crazy. The lies.. unbelievable! Is it possible to raise 3 kids on my own with no family support? What do i do stay in a marriage because I can't afford a lawyer. So scared to be in a marriage like this. I just have no good choices i...	hopes314	7	808	Nov 14, 2014 by bud
	A closet Agnostic?? ( 1 2 ) (Preview) I think I have been a closet agnostic all these years and due to some sort of shame or sense of failure or just thinking I am less then b/c I cannot really embrace a diety outside of myselfI stayed in the closet, hoping that program could help me find G-d as referenced in the 12 steps, not understanding that...	neshema2	55	1659	Nov 13, 2014 by bud
	What did I do in caring for me TODAY???? (Preview) TODAY I slept in and stayed warm on my day off, curled up in my blankets dreaming of happy things did laundry for my pets, washed their favorite towels on which they cuddle during cold season jacked up the heat JUST a BIT to treat me while I did my laundry Made myself a GREAT shake, now with peanut butter in i...	neshema2	8	781	Nov 13, 2014 by neshema2
	fell out with alanon (Preview) Sorry about my last post, confusing as it was. Ive kind of got peed off with alanon lately. Ive been working it for nearly 3 years, I love it, its changed my life but... im Still working it, im not cured. I know this is not rational or logic. High expectations are dodgy. Ive realised my shortcomings that he...	el-cee	17	817	Nov 13, 2014 by Jerry F
	if only I could remember what I forgot! (Preview) This will be a quick post. I am losing things & finding things & losing things again. I have no control over what happens. My mind is going slowly. But, I still have good days of course. Sometimes I have bad weeks! I am just going through a time. I am not going to keep things from my AH. He is not a thre...	Hoot Nanny	5	651	Nov 13, 2014 by cloudyskies
	My husband is an alcoholic (Preview) Wow, So, I am new here and not even sure if I am in the right place. I am slowly coming to terms that my husband ,of over 11 years ,is an alcoholic. My heart is broke. He hides vodka all of the time and is always sorry about his lies but constantly continues to repeat the same mistakes over and over and over. We h...	jmc	19	943	Nov 13, 2014 by Flower49
	Lost my serenity a little bit. (Preview) So today exH went to collect daughter at school. I checked with him a lot of times that the arrangement was still on and that he has to take her to her choir practice at 5 and bring her straight back home when it finishes at 6. So she should be back home before 6.30. At 6.15 my friend from choir calls me to ask wh...	Luiza	9	774	Nov 13, 2014 by grateful2be
	Honoring my child's heart.... (Preview) My father has dementia. My relationship with him has been painful and now it has become even more so as his disease progresses and his skills (which were already poor) at the filtering of his rage and narcissism is diminished. This weekend and some of the posts here recently have brought to the surf...	PP	29	1069	Nov 13, 2014 by PP
	uh! (Preview) Here I go again. This time it is not my father, sister, or husband. It's my grandchild's alcoholic custodial father who insists she must return to him. My grandchild has run away now for the third time etc. You all know that story. My grandchild has come to me this time. My heart can't send her back to him....	59lfva	7	554	Nov 13, 2014 by KennyFenderjazz
	Song for us.... (Preview) http://www.google.com/url?sa=t&rct=j&q=&esrc=s&source=web&cd=1&cad=rja&uact=8&ved=0CCEQyCkwAA&url=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.youtube.com%2Fwatch%3Fv%3D89h7JC85KHE&ei=ANhkVNKAOISmgwSpxIHgAw&usg=AFQjCNFkh4c0I91b7Ger_vY...	PP	3	389	Nov 13, 2014 by neshema2
	Mom issues (Preview) I am totally new here so please no hate if I am doing something I am not supposed to do ok. I need some advice and a place to talk. I am 49, happily married for 28 years and have a wonderful 14 year old daughter. Raised by total alcoholic parents. My husband and I rarely drink. I haven't spoken to my abusi...	tpotterf	39	1042	Nov 13, 2014 by PP
	greif over abandonment by my mother (Preview) Hi all. I feel so alone and rejected by my own mother. We have been close for a lifetime. Yet over Her illness. Bipolar and dry drunks she completelyDisowned me. Also fought to disinherit me from our coowned property. I went from being her favorite. To being her enemy. My siblings also took their big...	beckon11	8	798	Nov 13, 2014 by milkwood
	Insomnia (Preview) Hi Guys, Long time no see! Glad to be back! I'm currently under a lot of pressure; looking for a new job and apartment etc, and the stress is erupting as anxiety and insomnia. Last night I went to bed at 10:30 pm, and at 6 am I was still wide awake! (It is currently 14:56 here, where I am writing from). I tho...	Turris	8	702	Nov 12, 2014 by Fairlee
	Too many mixed emotions (Preview) I must say that I am happy that I came across this site and everything I have read so far is very helpful. So many people here have given me a bit more hope but as I sit here, ready for bed, I just feel sad and overwhelmed by emotions. It's easy for me to keep myself busy throughout the day with my kids, my home, m...	jmc	3	523	Nov 12, 2014 by Fairlee
	The news report changed (Preview) I put this on my first Geez thread and decided that it might be better to start a new thread. As of yesterday's news, the stolen snowplow story got changed to stolen snowplow blades, hydraulic parts and a trailer which seems so much more feasible to me than entire snowplows. Even so, according to the ne...	grateful2be	9	827	Nov 12, 2014 by neshema2
	caffeine vs. alcohol addiction / drunk vs alcoholic (Preview) I have been having a lot of bladder problems lately, and my urologist says I am having bladder spasms from caffeine. I always have one cup of coffee in the morning, but I drink cokes all day long. Apparently, it's the cokes causing my problem. Well, I have cut my coke consumption in half, and I am having te...	cloudyskies	19	1078	Nov 12, 2014 by cloudyskies
	Help me intervene??? (Preview) I have a boy of 25 living with me. He grew up with my kids and now rents an extra bedroom from me, But he is like a son to me and doesn't get much (has never gotten) parenting from his actual parents. He is drinking way too much and way too heavily. To black out state several times a week, often accompanied by ra...	Mikeys Mom	7	742	Nov 12, 2014 by Breakingfree
	Today is my so-called anniversary....bad day (Preview) Today AH have been married for 12 years. Not divorced yet...but that's the next step. I find myself angry, sad and really depressed. I just finished working my usual work stretch of 4 days in a row. I will finally say this, as I am not sure if I have already or not...and I just don't think it's a huge deal if I...	Newlife girl	15	819	Nov 12, 2014 by Fairlee
	I am brand new and scared (Preview) I am brand new. I am worried sick about my teen son. He never wants to be home because I know he is out there partying. He just started a job and called out on his 4th day of work. I haven't seen him since Thurs night. But I know where he is. I text and call him all the time but he doesn't usually get back to m...	Mellie	18	1117	Nov 12, 2014 by Fairlee
	It's everywhere (Preview) I have a friend that, now that I have moved, lives 1 1/2 miles away. We are old friends, from college. We don't get together a lot because we don't have that much in common, but we do get together occasionally and love each other to death. Much like he's a family member. He's been having back problems, s...	KennyFenderjazz	17	757	Nov 12, 2014 by Fairlee
	the truth of me (Preview) Sometimes ive got a real urge to get to the nitty gritty, to say what isnt really said. To let it out there without the excuses, you know? To shake it up and stir it up. I get restless in the peace. I cant find progress in the peace. I know alanons about taking it slow, or is it really? If we knew freedom was wait...	el-cee	17	728	Nov 12, 2014 by cloudyskies
	Here I sit with many excuses ( 1 2 ) (Preview) Here's the deal: I'm introverted. This means I do little without first looking at "how will this affect me" rather than the extroverted "now what I can I do with this." I have some extroverted friends in program who go dancing every Monday. One of them invited me to meet her l...	grateful2be	50	1399	Nov 12, 2014 by grateful2be
	Can anyone give me guidance on child custody agreement with my alcoholic husband (Preview) I live in NC and at the moment I am only allowing him supervised visitation but for when ever and as long as he wants. He doesn't choose to see her much but lately he has been claiming to be sober by sheer will he still refuses AA or any treatment program. Knowing his plan is to eventually take this to court...	Angelado1976	5	858	Nov 11, 2014 by grateful2be
	Hard to live with a messed up brain (Preview) I read a lot of comments here about the tendencies of the A spouse. They seem to tend to be the unloving one, the nasty one, the one who doesn't appreciate their spouse. In our situation, I seem to be all that. But part of it is because my H is passive. And crazy making. He does things that drive me crazy, and...	oceanpine	2	648	Nov 11, 2014 by hotrod
	nasty Tone of voice (Preview) My dry ah still uses his nasty tone of voice when he speaks to me. how do i get him to stop. I try very hard to stay away from him and he does likewise. We write notes if needed or text but once in a awhile we still need to speak. We are going for mediatation on nov 17th, he will behave in there in front of people. ...	Mirandac	34	1392	Nov 11, 2014 by Mirandac
	Geez! (Preview) We are expecting a lot of snow in our area this week. So...........someone has stolen our Township's snowplows as of tonight's news. How in the world does anybody steal one snowplow let alone ALL the snowplows. I know this has nothing at all to do with alcoholism and yet...this caper is as mind-bog...	grateful2be	20	695	Nov 11, 2014 by grateful2be
	still here, very behind, made it to a F2F (Preview) Hi! I am so behind on the board and there are some very good posts I need to respond too! Ya'll are always so inspiring - I just read and feel better! I went to a F2F meeting last week and I had a funny experience. I parked in the wrong place and went in the wrong meeting (AA meets next door) I am already a very aw...	Fairlee	9	741	Nov 11, 2014 by Breakingfree
	What's wrong with me! (Preview) I'm so tired of myself! Started alanon almost a year ago and it has changed my actions and thoughts, I was so angry and resentful. After figuring out AH was an alcoholic it was a relief to me, it wasn't what I was or wasn't doing, he wasn't choosing to check out of the family, etc. thankfully I didn't grow up...	Kerrymom	10	948	Nov 10, 2014 by Jerry F
	slowly but surely... (Preview) Time is flying so I am getting by. Slowly I am coming around even w/ the pressure on me. I am still waiting for my mom to return. She is waiting for paperwork & a place to stay. Kathleen	Hoot Nanny	4	407	Nov 10, 2014 by cloudyskies
	Celebrating/and Paying it Forward (Preview) I was doing a little reflecting this morning. This month is my six months anniversary with Al-Anon. Lately I have been taking some service responsibilities (chaired our meetings for a month and I'm going around to doctor's office placing Al-Anon literature) and I feel good about myself. While pu...	cloudyskies	15	774	Nov 10, 2014 by cloudyskies
	I don't understand... (Preview) Finishing organising MY bedroom, I put up, on the top of shelve's unit, two photos of my wedding. One is exAH and our daughter when she was 6 months old and the other is a group photo of everyone who attended. So I am here on my computer and I look at the photos now and then. Why? I don't have a clue. I am just all...	Luiza	9	904	Nov 10, 2014 by grateful2be
	His proposal to me (Preview) My AH and I drove to the airport yesterday and he made a proposal to me for how we can handle this divorce. His words? "We do nothing." Umm, say what? He wants us to sell the house and then we both move into our own rentals and he will continue to support 2 households using the proceeds from the...	andromeda	19	987	Nov 10, 2014 by grateful2be
	Resentment, anger, and my life (Preview) First of all, I want to apologize for lurking and reading, yet not sharing. That is unfair to you. But I am trying to feel more comfortable with sharing. So AH is 21 days sober today. We visited him in the facility on Sunday, where he announced that he wanted to go into extended care (another 90 days)...	Collateral Damage	15	959	Nov 10, 2014 by mnkarts2
	Progress not perfection (Preview) Hey Everyone! Hope you are all well. It's been a minute since I have posted anything and just wanted to give an update. Marriage counseling for us is going well, we are so blessed to have a man that has 48 years sobriety and also is well educated in not only addiction, but the affects on the family as well. S...	Flower49	5	513	Nov 10, 2014 by Jerry F
	Living in the now. (Preview) So last week my new landlady/friend said "I've done something naughty Mel. I saw something online I think you'll love so I've ordered it as a little housewarming gift". OK, wow, and awesome, she didn't tell me what it was so I was excited about waiting for a surprise in the mail. Anyway the ot...	missmeliss	5	722	Nov 10, 2014 by grateful2be
	It is snowing.... (Preview) Well actually it is storming..... Cooked some turkey supper and downloaded a book on Kindle called "Betrayal Bond"....kind of excited to relax	Truth	11	635	Nov 10, 2014 by neshema2
	Really!!! If I want to know WHO i am, I gotta be STILL to find out (Preview) Today , I got this really nice video from a recovery mate who forwarded it over to me and I was like "OMG....How timely and how appropriate after my coming out of the closet post" WHO AM I???? I've been asking that...What is my purpose????? been asking that too...Do I even have a life here...	neshema2	4	746	Nov 9, 2014 by Breakingfree
	A million things I think today. (Preview) Let's start with the bullet I dodged. And my very, very deep gratitude for the place I am staying, and the place I am not staying. My mother has been unkind, oh so unkind. I am so, so very glad I did not go there to stay. It has been 11 years now since I stayed there for 2 months after my marriage ended and now I re...	missmeliss	14	902	Nov 9, 2014 by Kerrymom
	Is this my ego? (Preview) I am trying to figure out why I would like AH and I to be able to talk openly about stuff (not alcohol related stuff btw). The fact that we can't means that I keep my barriers up and I am not addressing my 'what would I like to do with my life' questions. Is it just an ego thing on my part (in which case I would wa...	milkwood	12	909	Nov 9, 2014 by milkwood
	Too far to walk (Preview) Tonight I met my daughter and AH at the dog park. I wanted to see her and I also wanted the dogs to get out...he rarely takes them out. So, we met at dog park. On the way back to our vehicles, I asked him which lot he was in. He replied "there's only one right??" my reply "no...there's two&quo...	Newlife girl	3	628	Nov 9, 2014 by Newlife girl
	bring On step 6.....yay! (Preview) I just caught myself smiling and exhaling. Tried something new last night. The impossible to get rid of a did his a thing last nite, only a bit more in my face,with some girl in the background but you know he never cheats,and only logs onto Ashley Madison cos he's curious about how the system works,and bl...	aquamom23	6	595	Nov 8, 2014 by Jerry F
	New to site and new to Al Anon (Preview) Hello all, I am new to this site and a new member of Al Anon. Thank you, tucanojk	tucanojk	2	398	Nov 8, 2014 by mjferg
	New to site... (Preview) Hello, I am new to this site and new to Al Anon. I am on my road to recovery. Thank you, tucanojk	tucanojk	2	393	Nov 8, 2014 by neshema2
	Been a while... Just a update (Preview) Gawh, I miss you folks! I have spent a little time reading some post over the last few months, but haven't really been able to "plug in" and reply to them because by the time I get here, I am wiped out from a day of work, an evening of meeting, spending time with sponsees, being present and available in a rel...	John	14	986	Nov 8, 2014 by neshema2
	Whose responsibility is it? (Preview) Recently, I received an insurance premium notice in the mail for auto insurance. I read the Declarations page and discovered I was being charged for insurance I didn't need (loss of wages) since I'm now retired. I e-mailed my agent about it. No response. I called him about it. No response. I e-m...	grateful2be	16	835	Nov 8, 2014 by neshema2
	Daughter in car accident!!! (Preview) I lived through my worst nightmare last night!! My eldest adult daughter got in a head on collision yesterday. She called me right after it happened before she called 911. She was crying and asked me to get her kids. I freaked!!! I was so scared. I went to get the three grandchildren and headed to ho...	Hullibee	22	949	Nov 8, 2014 by Jerry F
	Friday's are rough (Preview) I see my therapist on Thursday,and we uncover more stuff,I talked about some things that happened when I was a child and she gives me another book to read,this one is about shame.I was never good enough and I never pleased my father.My mom and I used to go hunt for him at bars,but I was the bad kid, really!!...	mjferg	6	768	Nov 8, 2014 by PP
	Fell off the horse then got back on (Preview) Yesterday I felt very depressed and lonely. I couldn't stop crying and kept thinking how much I was missing him. Today I gave in and talked to him. It was the best thing I could have done because I realised within a very short space of time that I had made the right decision to leave. He was drinking while we...	rainbow	11	880	Nov 8, 2014 by pinkchip
	communication is the KEY! (Preview) In dealing w/ others I believe that communication is of utmost importance. Now that my mom is coming back close to here, I am feeling much better because the communication lines are getting better. Not that before she got sick, it wasn't OK. But now I have the opportunity to get current w/ her, I can see h...	Hoot Nanny	5	839	Nov 8, 2014 by PP
	Step 7 (Preview) http://stepwork.activeboard.com/t58964018/alanon-step-7/Participate in your own recovery as well as the recovery of others, by being active on this board as we go through the 12 Steps...	hotrod	0	484	Nov 8, 2014 by hotrod
	Another blow (Preview) My husband and I have been separated for a year. He has been to rehab twice for alcoholism. 5 months all together. He is going to AA almost every night and working the program with a sponsor but I haven't been able to understand his anger, mood swings, delusion and crazy plans. Sometimes he's nice to me a...	stillhangingon	3	577	Nov 7, 2014 by pinkchip
	My CoDA - Alanon reflection song (Preview) Of course music speaks to us. This song still makes me well up when I think about it and the meaning it has for me. It's a Fleetwood Mac song but Dixie chicks re-popularized it right around the time of the break up too. As the lyrics say, I was afraid of changing because I built my whole life around my ex (a...	pinkchip	6	691	Nov 7, 2014 by John
	Looking back I felt like I had to go down with the Titanic (Preview) So many times I felt like my exAH was this huge beautiful vessel. He save me from my childhood house and family of origin. He loved me more than anyone really ever had in the beginning and felt sorry for me because of things I had gone through. Over time I turned him into my HP and wanted to earn his love and p...	Breakingfree	11	691	Nov 7, 2014 by neshema2
	Learning how to let Go and let God (Preview) Well it's taken me months of alanon training but I think I am understanding some of the craziness that developed from my A. I wanted her to get better (she has multiple addictions) for ME! To make MY life and MY marriage better. And what I finally get is that I am the only one who can make my life better. ...	Lyne	7	711	Nov 7, 2014 by Jerry F
	if you love something (Preview) let it go. That is what unfolds within me. My daughter is a daddies girl. To see him come home is like Elvis has entered the building,with cake. Her eyes sparkle,she clasps her hands together and calls daddy! Little footsteps charging down to the door. My mother was a daddies girl too. Her father was als...	aquamom23	15	797	Nov 7, 2014 by Newlife girl
	a solution (Preview) Well my financial situation is not good and I am so emotionally tired I don't think it would be wise to add more stress as in working full time or a second job so I decided to sign up for some courses at a local community college and hopefully I will qualify for financial aid to help while I am studying, and th...	mjferg	4	491	Nov 7, 2014 by Newlife girl
	Brand New to Al Anon and the board (Preview) So this is basically an introduction and my story cause I am brand new to this and am looking forward to sharing and listening with everyone. I am a 28 year old mom from Canada, of a 3 year old son and another on the way...due in 2 weeks actually, who are my world and I need to make changes in my life to better...	Momof2_1986	6	790	Nov 7, 2014 by Newlife girl
	Still in Crazy (Preview) My AH is still drinking heavily. He moved out of our house and in with gf 5 weeks ago. I have been crying daily. I am having a great deal of trouble coping day to day. He comes over drunk and says mean things to me. Called me an ornery b***** because I sit and cry. He also said mean sexual things about gf a...	Hullibee	39	2047	Nov 6, 2014 by hotrod
	good stuff and bad stuff (Preview) It seems to me that alanon is about living with good stuff and that seems to be the recipe for serenity, happiness, joy, peace, love etc. So if thats the case then the bad stuff often caused by living with alcoholism or other dysfunction is things like, anger, hate, bitterness, resentment, self righto...	el-cee	15	865	Nov 6, 2014 by grateful2be
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The material presented here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method to exchange information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal level.