Al-Anon Family Group - Al-Anon Family Group

oceanpine · oceanpine

I read a lot of comments here about the tendencies of the A spouse. They seem to tend to be the unloving one, the nasty one, the one who doesn't appreciate their spouse. In our situation, I seem to be all that. But part of it is because my H is passive. And crazy making. He does things that drive me crazy, and...

Mirandac · Mirandac

My dry ah still uses his nasty tone of voice when he speaks to me. how do i get him to stop. I try very hard to stay away from him and he does likewise. We write notes if needed or text but once in a awhile we still need to speak. We are going for mediatation on nov 17th, he will behave in there in front of people. ...

grateful2be · grateful2be

We are expecting a lot of snow in our area this week. So...........someone has stolen our Township's snowplows as of tonight's news. How in the world does anybody steal one snowplow let alone ALL the snowplows. I know this has nothing at all to do with alcoholism and yet...this caper is as mind-bog...

Fairlee · Fairlee

Hi! I am so behind on the board and there are some very good posts I need to respond too! Ya'll are always so inspiring - I just read and feel better! I went to a F2F meeting last week and I had a funny experience. I parked in the wrong place and went in the wrong meeting (AA meets next door) I am already a very aw...

Kerrymom · Kerrymom

I'm so tired of myself! Started alanon almost a year ago and it has changed my actions and thoughts, I was so angry and resentful. After figuring out AH was an alcoholic it was a relief to me, it wasn't what I was or wasn't doing, he wasn't choosing to check out of the family, etc. thankfully I didn't grow up...

Hoot Nanny · Hoot Nanny

Time is flying so I am getting by. Slowly I am coming around even w/ the pressure on me. I am still waiting for my mom to return. She is waiting for paperwork & a place to stay. Kathleen

cloudyskies · cloudyskies

I was doing a little reflecting this morning. This month is my six months anniversary with Al-Anon. Lately I have been taking some service responsibilities (chaired our meetings for a month and I'm going around to doctor's office placing Al-Anon literature) and I feel good about myself. While pu...

Luiza · Luiza

Finishing organising MY bedroom, I put up, on the top of shelve's unit, two photos of my wedding. One is exAH and our daughter when she was 6 months old and the other is a group photo of everyone who attended. So I am here on my computer and I look at the photos now and then. Why? I don't have a clue. I am just all...

andromeda · andromeda

My AH and I drove to the airport yesterday and he made a proposal to me for how we can handle this divorce. His words? "We do nothing." Umm, say what? He wants us to sell the house and then we both move into our own rentals and he will continue to support 2 households using the proceeds from the...

Collateral Damage · Collateral Damage

First of all, I want to apologize for lurking and reading, yet not sharing. That is unfair to you. But I am trying to feel more comfortable with sharing. So AH is 21 days sober today. We visited him in the facility on Sunday, where he announced that he wanted to go into extended care (another 90 days)...

Flower49 · Flower49

Hey Everyone! Hope you are all well. It's been a minute since I have posted anything and just wanted to give an update. Marriage counseling for us is going well, we are so blessed to have a man that has 48 years sobriety and also is well educated in not only addiction, but the affects on the family as well. S...

missmeliss · missmeliss

So last week my new landlady/friend said "I've done something naughty Mel. I saw something online I think you'll love so I've ordered it as a little housewarming gift". OK, wow, and awesome, she didn't tell me what it was so I was excited about waiting for a surprise in the mail. Anyway the ot...

Truth · Truth

Well actually it is storming..... Cooked some turkey supper and downloaded a book on Kindle called "Betrayal Bond"....kind of excited to relax

neshema2 · neshema2

Today , I got this really nice video from a recovery mate who forwarded it over to me and I was like "OMG....How timely and how appropriate after my coming out of the closet post" WHO AM I???? I've been asking that...What is my purpose????? been asking that too...Do I even have a life here...

missmeliss · missmeliss

Let's start with the bullet I dodged. And my very, very deep gratitude for the place I am staying, and the place I am not staying. My mother has been unkind, oh so unkind. I am so, so very glad I did not go there to stay. It has been 11 years now since I stayed there for 2 months after my marriage ended and now I re...

milkwood · milkwood

I am trying to figure out why I would like AH and I to be able to talk openly about stuff (not alcohol related stuff btw). The fact that we can't means that I keep my barriers up and I am not addressing my 'what would I like to do with my life' questions. Is it just an ego thing on my part (in which case I would wa...

Newlife girl · Newlife girl

Tonight I met my daughter and AH at the dog park. I wanted to see her and I also wanted the dogs to get out...he rarely takes them out. So, we met at dog park. On the way back to our vehicles, I asked him which lot he was in. He replied "there's only one right??" my reply "no...there's two&quo...

aquamom23 · aquamom23

I just caught myself smiling and exhaling. Tried something new last night. The impossible to get rid of a did his a thing last nite, only a bit more in my face,with some girl in the background but you know he never cheats,and only logs onto Ashley Madison cos he's curious about how the system works,and bl...

tucanojk · tucanojk

Hello all, I am new to this site and a new member of Al Anon. Thank you, tucanojk

tucanojk · tucanojk

Hello, I am new to this site and new to Al Anon. I am on my road to recovery. Thank you, tucanojk

John · John

Gawh, I miss you folks! I have spent a little time reading some post over the last few months, but haven't really been able to "plug in" and reply to them because by the time I get here, I am wiped out from a day of work, an evening of meeting, spending time with sponsees, being present and available in a rel...

grateful2be · grateful2be

Recently, I received an insurance premium notice in the mail for auto insurance. I read the Declarations page and discovered I was being charged for insurance I didn't need (loss of wages) since I'm now retired. I e-mailed my agent about it. No response. I called him about it. No response. I e-m...

Hullibee · Hullibee

I lived through my worst nightmare last night!! My eldest adult daughter got in a head on collision yesterday. She called me right after it happened before she called 911. She was crying and asked me to get her kids. I freaked!!! I was so scared. I went to get the three grandchildren and headed to ho...

mjferg · mjferg

I see my therapist on Thursday,and we uncover more stuff,I talked about some things that happened when I was a child and she gives me another book to read,this one is about shame.I was never good enough and I never pleased my father.My mom and I used to go hunt for him at bars,but I was the bad kid, really!!...

rainbow · rainbow

Yesterday I felt very depressed and lonely. I couldn't stop crying and kept thinking how much I was missing him. Today I gave in and talked to him. It was the best thing I could have done because I realised within a very short space of time that I had made the right decision to leave. He was drinking while we...

Hoot Nanny · Hoot Nanny

In dealing w/ others I believe that communication is of utmost importance. Now that my mom is coming back close to here, I am feeling much better because the communication lines are getting better. Not that before she got sick, it wasn't OK. But now I have the opportunity to get current w/ her, I can see h...

hotrod · hotrod

http://stepwork.activeboard.com/t58964018/alanon-step-7/Participate in your own recovery as well as the recovery of others, by being active on this board as we go through the 12 Steps...

stillhangingon · stillhangingon

My husband and I have been separated for a year. He has been to rehab twice for alcoholism. 5 months all together. He is going to AA almost every night and working the program with a sponsor but I haven't been able to understand his anger, mood swings, delusion and crazy plans. Sometimes he's nice to me a...

pinkchip · pinkchip

Of course music speaks to us. This song still makes me well up when I think about it and the meaning it has for me. It's a Fleetwood Mac song but Dixie chicks re-popularized it right around the time of the break up too. As the lyrics say, I was afraid of changing because I built my whole life around my ex (a...

Breakingfree · Breakingfree

So many times I felt like my exAH was this huge beautiful vessel. He save me from my childhood house and family of origin. He loved me more than anyone really ever had in the beginning and felt sorry for me because of things I had gone through. Over time I turned him into my HP and wanted to earn his love and p...

Lyne · Lyne

Well it's taken me months of alanon training but I think I am understanding some of the craziness that developed from my A. I wanted her to get better (she has multiple addictions) for ME! To make MY life and MY marriage better. And what I finally get is that I am the only one who can make my life better. ...

aquamom23 · aquamom23

let it go. That is what unfolds within me. My daughter is a daddies girl. To see him come home is like Elvis has entered the building,with cake. Her eyes sparkle,she clasps her hands together and calls daddy! Little footsteps charging down to the door. My mother was a daddies girl too. Her father was als...

mjferg · mjferg

Well my financial situation is not good and I am so emotionally tired I don't think it would be wise to add more stress as in working full time or a second job so I decided to sign up for some courses at a local community college and hopefully I will qualify for financial aid to help while I am studying, and th...

Momof2_1986 · Momof2_1986

So this is basically an introduction and my story cause I am brand new to this and am looking forward to sharing and listening with everyone. I am a 28 year old mom from Canada, of a 3 year old son and another on the way...due in 2 weeks actually, who are my world and I need to make changes in my life to better...

Hullibee · Hullibee

My AH is still drinking heavily. He moved out of our house and in with gf 5 weeks ago. I have been crying daily. I am having a great deal of trouble coping day to day. He comes over drunk and says mean things to me. Called me an ornery b***** because I sit and cry. He also said mean sexual things about gf a...

el-cee · el-cee

It seems to me that alanon is about living with good stuff and that seems to be the recipe for serenity, happiness, joy, peace, love etc. So if thats the case then the bad stuff often caused by living with alcoholism or other dysfunction is things like, anger, hate, bitterness, resentment, self righto...

Newlife girl · Newlife girl

I have realized a bad habit I have. I will ask for people's opinions on here, but if I don't hear what I want, I get really defensive. This happened with my post about AH behavior recently...and if daughter should stay with him this weekend. I know what this man is like. I should trust my gut. I am not doing t...

rehprof · rehprof

So..Sunday night I asked the exAH to hold off giving a new $500 xbox to the 18yo because he is flunking his classes in HS. This caused a 45 min rant from exAH about what a terrible parent I am etc. I agreed to meet the exAH (with reservation) and talk about the situation on Monday. I worried about how it woul...

Truth · Truth

I have finally come to the point in my journey where I recognize the difference between forgiveness and reconciliation. I finally discovered what has been a thorn in my side about my experiences within the program and in life in general. It was a really good emotional release. I think we all know if w...

mnkarts2 · mnkarts2

Hi all. My counselor suggested I join an Al-Anon group. Life is busy so I am unable to attend meeting so she said I can online. I don't know if this particular board is location specific...if so please let me know. I am the wife of a recovering alcoholic. My husband drank heavily but it was a very short peri...

Newlife girl · Newlife girl

This boundary is about protecting my daughter. Sometimes my brain gets clouded, and I want to see if my support system here agrees with me. I am not purposely focusing on the AH, but this involves him...of course. my former neighbor I've known for 20 years called me Monday night asking me if my AH was ok...

mjferg · mjferg

It seems as if my happy bubble has popped!!I am feeling blah today.I just want to relax.I am so tired.I did manage to get all my laundry done yesterday.It is sitting in baskets and the house isn't where I want it to be yet.I am feeling kind of lost today and abandoned.He just left me with all these problem...

el-cee · el-cee

Fear is a powerful emotion, it lingers in me still and it grows at times then before I know it its built up and im acting on it, making decisions based on it. Im trying to think of the tools I used when I first came in because these did the trick and I could bat fear away, shrink it right out of my mind. The what if...

Newlife girl · Newlife girl

I have done a lot of reflecting today about how I spend my free time compared to what I did when living with AH. When I lived with him, on my days off work, I would clean a huge house in the morning and wait until he would wake up. I would feel resentful the whole day because he slept half the day because he stay...

Jerry F · Jerry F

A God thing. The first three steps were distilled and given to me as 1. Trust God 2. Clean House 3. Help Others. The event where a man at where I work targeted me with his insanity, crossed my boundaries and made threats against our property has taken a different corner. He came up to me unannounce...

PP · PP

I am spinning a bit and have been since early Sat morning when we discovered the back part of our home had flooded. After spending the weekend tearing up floors in 3 bedrooms and a hallway and hauling the debris for the trash collectors, we can rest a bit until the plumber comes back on Thursday to make hi...

Star Bird · Star Bird

I am feeling resentful today and I don't like this feeling. My husband has been in treatment for two weeks. He is doing great and is actually enjoying the classes and fellowship. His mom keeps buying him nice new expensive clothes and sending them to him. He keeps getting gifts from her almost every da...

Gaby · Gaby

its been one crazy roller coaster but I keep staying on my side of the street!! You all stay blessed !!!

rikks · rikks

I just came out of a four year relationship with a recovering alcoholic. Still stunned and it's been bout two months since the split. It was the worst emotional battering of my life. I finally broke down and gave into the fact that bonding to alcoholics has been an ongoing theme in my life. It's been incr...

tiredtonite · tiredtonite

Hi Everyone, I just wanted to share with you that today was my first day at a new job. It's one of those foot in the door kind of things and it a contract position so it will have an end date. I'm going to just take it a day at a time but today was a wonderful day. A group of us were hired, not too many but we'll all b...

Newlife girl · Newlife girl

When I moved out in March, my mom helped me by giving me money to do it. I don't like asking my mom for money. But she understood my situation and wanted me out of that house too. She also helped me pay some of my daughter's tuition. She is at a Christian school and they have great daycare hours so I need her to s...

Cathyinaz · Cathyinaz

Well another week done and two days off. That I am happy because it's been a busy week.... My foot is healing, got the stitches out yesterday. It still feels the same and now with a scar but the doctor told me it will take a few months for that nerve end to heal and let the pain go away. Right now I'm not beli...

Truth · Truth

Well I don't know if it is true yet but I have heard the A is facing assault charges. Was I surprised? No, not really. I am a feeling a bit of relief yet sadness for my son.

Hoot Nanny · Hoot Nanny

I read a post partly about a mom doing over the top things for her daughter. The daughter posted. Well, after reading a snipet of the post, I have come to the conclusion that maybe I have been bashing my mom. She has done so much for me over the years. When my husband was out 8 years ago, my mom stepped in &...

aquamom23 · aquamom23

today feels like a good day. Elcee posted a scene from the labyrinth, there's another scene in that movie where the heroine walks into a replica of her bedroom and is tempted to stay. That's been the last two weeks. Look,everything's ok! No,it isn't. Have expressed that I cant be the wife to active addi...

mjferg · mjferg

It seems like every day there is something to clean up, as in first it was the house, I like neat and clean but I got behind from the depression I was in.So my daughter and I have been tackling the house.Yesterday there were errands and financial situations I am working on.My poor pets need to go get flea me...

Breakingfree · Breakingfree

And I had to stop my train of thought and remember how resilient we are and how good life truly is. I have finally become better instead of bitter. I am careful of who and what I surround myself with now. Here in America in this day and age my fridge is stocked, my heat is on, my kids are healthy and well things...

missmeliss · missmeliss

I apologise for the fact that this is like my 300th post on the board this week. But I'm really spinning my wheels, asking myself and my HP a question and I'm getting nowhere. Please understand I'm not looking for "practical" solutions, OMG as I was writing this the cat spewed all over the be...

mjferg · mjferg

I went out to do some shopping today and I walked by the shelf with books and magazines,I looked at the books and i picked one up,I couldn't remember the last time I just sat quietly and read a book.Everything seems so different, like all my senses are exaggerated!!,It is like I am coming out of a bad dre...

mjferg · mjferg

Yesterday I called an old friend I hadn't talked to in years.I cried as we talked and afterwards I realized how many things I gave up. that is, I am remembering things in bits of pieces, just things I have done or have not done because of pleasing him..I let him control everything I did,every decision, ev...

Topic		Started By	Replies	Views	Last Post
	Hard to live with a messed up brain (Preview) I read a lot of comments here about the tendencies of the A spouse. They seem to tend to be the unloving one, the nasty one, the one who doesn't appreciate their spouse. In our situation, I seem to be all that. But part of it is because my H is passive. And crazy making. He does things that drive me crazy, and...	oceanpine	2	591	Nov 11, 2014 by hotrod
	nasty Tone of voice (Preview) My dry ah still uses his nasty tone of voice when he speaks to me. how do i get him to stop. I try very hard to stay away from him and he does likewise. We write notes if needed or text but once in a awhile we still need to speak. We are going for mediatation on nov 17th, he will behave in there in front of people. ...	Mirandac	34	1325	Nov 11, 2014 by Mirandac
	Geez! (Preview) We are expecting a lot of snow in our area this week. So...........someone has stolen our Township's snowplows as of tonight's news. How in the world does anybody steal one snowplow let alone ALL the snowplows. I know this has nothing at all to do with alcoholism and yet...this caper is as mind-bog...	grateful2be	20	634	Nov 11, 2014 by grateful2be
	still here, very behind, made it to a F2F (Preview) Hi! I am so behind on the board and there are some very good posts I need to respond too! Ya'll are always so inspiring - I just read and feel better! I went to a F2F meeting last week and I had a funny experience. I parked in the wrong place and went in the wrong meeting (AA meets next door) I am already a very aw...	Fairlee	9	680	Nov 11, 2014 by Breakingfree
	What's wrong with me! (Preview) I'm so tired of myself! Started alanon almost a year ago and it has changed my actions and thoughts, I was so angry and resentful. After figuring out AH was an alcoholic it was a relief to me, it wasn't what I was or wasn't doing, he wasn't choosing to check out of the family, etc. thankfully I didn't grow up...	Kerrymom	10	888	Nov 10, 2014 by Jerry F
	slowly but surely... (Preview) Time is flying so I am getting by. Slowly I am coming around even w/ the pressure on me. I am still waiting for my mom to return. She is waiting for paperwork & a place to stay. Kathleen	Hoot Nanny	4	352	Nov 10, 2014 by cloudyskies
	Celebrating/and Paying it Forward (Preview) I was doing a little reflecting this morning. This month is my six months anniversary with Al-Anon. Lately I have been taking some service responsibilities (chaired our meetings for a month and I'm going around to doctor's office placing Al-Anon literature) and I feel good about myself. While pu...	cloudyskies	15	710	Nov 10, 2014 by cloudyskies
	I don't understand... (Preview) Finishing organising MY bedroom, I put up, on the top of shelve's unit, two photos of my wedding. One is exAH and our daughter when she was 6 months old and the other is a group photo of everyone who attended. So I am here on my computer and I look at the photos now and then. Why? I don't have a clue. I am just all...	Luiza	9	851	Nov 10, 2014 by grateful2be
	His proposal to me (Preview) My AH and I drove to the airport yesterday and he made a proposal to me for how we can handle this divorce. His words? "We do nothing." Umm, say what? He wants us to sell the house and then we both move into our own rentals and he will continue to support 2 households using the proceeds from the...	andromeda	19	925	Nov 10, 2014 by grateful2be
	Resentment, anger, and my life (Preview) First of all, I want to apologize for lurking and reading, yet not sharing. That is unfair to you. But I am trying to feel more comfortable with sharing. So AH is 21 days sober today. We visited him in the facility on Sunday, where he announced that he wanted to go into extended care (another 90 days)...	Collateral Damage	15	896	Nov 10, 2014 by mnkarts2
	Progress not perfection (Preview) Hey Everyone! Hope you are all well. It's been a minute since I have posted anything and just wanted to give an update. Marriage counseling for us is going well, we are so blessed to have a man that has 48 years sobriety and also is well educated in not only addiction, but the affects on the family as well. S...	Flower49	5	452	Nov 10, 2014 by Jerry F
	Living in the now. (Preview) So last week my new landlady/friend said "I've done something naughty Mel. I saw something online I think you'll love so I've ordered it as a little housewarming gift". OK, wow, and awesome, she didn't tell me what it was so I was excited about waiting for a surprise in the mail. Anyway the ot...	missmeliss	5	660	Nov 10, 2014 by grateful2be
	It is snowing.... (Preview) Well actually it is storming..... Cooked some turkey supper and downloaded a book on Kindle called "Betrayal Bond"....kind of excited to relax	Truth	11	574	Nov 10, 2014 by neshema2
	Really!!! If I want to know WHO i am, I gotta be STILL to find out (Preview) Today , I got this really nice video from a recovery mate who forwarded it over to me and I was like "OMG....How timely and how appropriate after my coming out of the closet post" WHO AM I???? I've been asking that...What is my purpose????? been asking that too...Do I even have a life here...	neshema2	4	659	Nov 9, 2014 by Breakingfree
	A million things I think today. (Preview) Let's start with the bullet I dodged. And my very, very deep gratitude for the place I am staying, and the place I am not staying. My mother has been unkind, oh so unkind. I am so, so very glad I did not go there to stay. It has been 11 years now since I stayed there for 2 months after my marriage ended and now I re...	missmeliss	14	839	Nov 9, 2014 by Kerrymom
	Is this my ego? (Preview) I am trying to figure out why I would like AH and I to be able to talk openly about stuff (not alcohol related stuff btw). The fact that we can't means that I keep my barriers up and I am not addressing my 'what would I like to do with my life' questions. Is it just an ego thing on my part (in which case I would wa...	milkwood	12	847	Nov 9, 2014 by milkwood
	Too far to walk (Preview) Tonight I met my daughter and AH at the dog park. I wanted to see her and I also wanted the dogs to get out...he rarely takes them out. So, we met at dog park. On the way back to our vehicles, I asked him which lot he was in. He replied "there's only one right??" my reply "no...there's two&quo...	Newlife girl	3	566	Nov 9, 2014 by Newlife girl
	bring On step 6.....yay! (Preview) I just caught myself smiling and exhaling. Tried something new last night. The impossible to get rid of a did his a thing last nite, only a bit more in my face,with some girl in the background but you know he never cheats,and only logs onto Ashley Madison cos he's curious about how the system works,and bl...	aquamom23	6	536	Nov 8, 2014 by Jerry F
	New to site and new to Al Anon (Preview) Hello all, I am new to this site and a new member of Al Anon. Thank you, tucanojk	tucanojk	2	338	Nov 8, 2014 by mjferg
	New to site... (Preview) Hello, I am new to this site and new to Al Anon. I am on my road to recovery. Thank you, tucanojk	tucanojk	2	333	Nov 8, 2014 by neshema2
	Been a while... Just a update (Preview) Gawh, I miss you folks! I have spent a little time reading some post over the last few months, but haven't really been able to "plug in" and reply to them because by the time I get here, I am wiped out from a day of work, an evening of meeting, spending time with sponsees, being present and available in a rel...	John	14	923	Nov 8, 2014 by neshema2
	Whose responsibility is it? (Preview) Recently, I received an insurance premium notice in the mail for auto insurance. I read the Declarations page and discovered I was being charged for insurance I didn't need (loss of wages) since I'm now retired. I e-mailed my agent about it. No response. I called him about it. No response. I e-m...	grateful2be	16	765	Nov 8, 2014 by neshema2
	Daughter in car accident!!! (Preview) I lived through my worst nightmare last night!! My eldest adult daughter got in a head on collision yesterday. She called me right after it happened before she called 911. She was crying and asked me to get her kids. I freaked!!! I was so scared. I went to get the three grandchildren and headed to ho...	Hullibee	22	882	Nov 8, 2014 by Jerry F
	Friday's are rough (Preview) I see my therapist on Thursday,and we uncover more stuff,I talked about some things that happened when I was a child and she gives me another book to read,this one is about shame.I was never good enough and I never pleased my father.My mom and I used to go hunt for him at bars,but I was the bad kid, really!!...	mjferg	6	706	Nov 8, 2014 by PP
	Fell off the horse then got back on (Preview) Yesterday I felt very depressed and lonely. I couldn't stop crying and kept thinking how much I was missing him. Today I gave in and talked to him. It was the best thing I could have done because I realised within a very short space of time that I had made the right decision to leave. He was drinking while we...	rainbow	11	820	Nov 8, 2014 by pinkchip
	communication is the KEY! (Preview) In dealing w/ others I believe that communication is of utmost importance. Now that my mom is coming back close to here, I am feeling much better because the communication lines are getting better. Not that before she got sick, it wasn't OK. But now I have the opportunity to get current w/ her, I can see h...	Hoot Nanny	5	774	Nov 8, 2014 by PP
	Step 7 (Preview) http://stepwork.activeboard.com/t58964018/alanon-step-7/Participate in your own recovery as well as the recovery of others, by being active on this board as we go through the 12 Steps...	hotrod	0	411	Nov 8, 2014 by hotrod
	Another blow (Preview) My husband and I have been separated for a year. He has been to rehab twice for alcoholism. 5 months all together. He is going to AA almost every night and working the program with a sponsor but I haven't been able to understand his anger, mood swings, delusion and crazy plans. Sometimes he's nice to me a...	stillhangingon	3	517	Nov 7, 2014 by pinkchip
	My CoDA - Alanon reflection song (Preview) Of course music speaks to us. This song still makes me well up when I think about it and the meaning it has for me. It's a Fleetwood Mac song but Dixie chicks re-popularized it right around the time of the break up too. As the lyrics say, I was afraid of changing because I built my whole life around my ex (a...	pinkchip	6	614	Nov 7, 2014 by John
	Looking back I felt like I had to go down with the Titanic (Preview) So many times I felt like my exAH was this huge beautiful vessel. He save me from my childhood house and family of origin. He loved me more than anyone really ever had in the beginning and felt sorry for me because of things I had gone through. Over time I turned him into my HP and wanted to earn his love and p...	Breakingfree	11	621	Nov 7, 2014 by neshema2
	Learning how to let Go and let God (Preview) Well it's taken me months of alanon training but I think I am understanding some of the craziness that developed from my A. I wanted her to get better (she has multiple addictions) for ME! To make MY life and MY marriage better. And what I finally get is that I am the only one who can make my life better. ...	Lyne	7	626	Nov 7, 2014 by Jerry F
	if you love something (Preview) let it go. That is what unfolds within me. My daughter is a daddies girl. To see him come home is like Elvis has entered the building,with cake. Her eyes sparkle,she clasps her hands together and calls daddy! Little footsteps charging down to the door. My mother was a daddies girl too. Her father was als...	aquamom23	15	740	Nov 7, 2014 by Newlife girl
	a solution (Preview) Well my financial situation is not good and I am so emotionally tired I don't think it would be wise to add more stress as in working full time or a second job so I decided to sign up for some courses at a local community college and hopefully I will qualify for financial aid to help while I am studying, and th...	mjferg	4	428	Nov 7, 2014 by Newlife girl
	Brand New to Al Anon and the board (Preview) So this is basically an introduction and my story cause I am brand new to this and am looking forward to sharing and listening with everyone. I am a 28 year old mom from Canada, of a 3 year old son and another on the way...due in 2 weeks actually, who are my world and I need to make changes in my life to better...	Momof2_1986	6	733	Nov 7, 2014 by Newlife girl
	Still in Crazy (Preview) My AH is still drinking heavily. He moved out of our house and in with gf 5 weeks ago. I have been crying daily. I am having a great deal of trouble coping day to day. He comes over drunk and says mean things to me. Called me an ornery b***** because I sit and cry. He also said mean sexual things about gf a...	Hullibee	39	1985	Nov 6, 2014 by hotrod
	good stuff and bad stuff (Preview) It seems to me that alanon is about living with good stuff and that seems to be the recipe for serenity, happiness, joy, peace, love etc. So if thats the case then the bad stuff often caused by living with alcoholism or other dysfunction is things like, anger, hate, bitterness, resentment, self righto...	el-cee	15	799	Nov 6, 2014 by grateful2be
	An apology (Preview) I have realized a bad habit I have. I will ask for people's opinions on here, but if I don't hear what I want, I get really defensive. This happened with my post about AH behavior recently...and if daughter should stay with him this weekend. I know what this man is like. I should trust my gut. I am not doing t...	Newlife girl	7	648	Nov 6, 2014 by grateful2be
	Do I really LOOK that stupid? (Preview) So..Sunday night I asked the exAH to hold off giving a new $500 xbox to the 18yo because he is flunking his classes in HS. This caused a 45 min rant from exAH about what a terrible parent I am etc. I agreed to meet the exAH (with reservation) and talk about the situation on Monday. I worried about how it woul...	rehprof	6	830	Nov 6, 2014 by Lyne
	Forgiveness versus Reconciliation (Preview) I have finally come to the point in my journey where I recognize the difference between forgiveness and reconciliation. I finally discovered what has been a thorn in my side about my experiences within the program and in life in general. It was a really good emotional release. I think we all know if w...	Truth	17	1847	Nov 6, 2014 by el-cee
	Intro (Preview) Hi all. My counselor suggested I join an Al-Anon group. Life is busy so I am unable to attend meeting so she said I can online. I don't know if this particular board is location specific...if so please let me know. I am the wife of a recovering alcoholic. My husband drank heavily but it was a very short peri...	mnkarts2	5	483	Nov 6, 2014 by mnkarts2
	Need reassurance that this decision/boundary is the right thing to do (Preview) This boundary is about protecting my daughter. Sometimes my brain gets clouded, and I want to see if my support system here agrees with me. I am not purposely focusing on the AH, but this involves him...of course. my former neighbor I've known for 20 years called me Monday night asking me if my AH was ok...	Newlife girl	16	692	Nov 6, 2014 by PP
	Is this self-pity or just normal feelings (Preview) It seems as if my happy bubble has popped!!I am feeling blah today.I just want to relax.I am so tired.I did manage to get all my laundry done yesterday.It is sitting in baskets and the house isn't where I want it to be yet.I am feeling kind of lost today and abandoned.He just left me with all these problem...	mjferg	14	864	Nov 6, 2014 by Debilyn
	fear (Preview) Fear is a powerful emotion, it lingers in me still and it grows at times then before I know it its built up and im acting on it, making decisions based on it. Im trying to think of the tools I used when I first came in because these did the trick and I could bat fear away, shrink it right out of my mind. The what if...	el-cee	9	892	Nov 5, 2014 by rainbow
	How I live: now vs then (Preview) I have done a lot of reflecting today about how I spend my free time compared to what I did when living with AH. When I lived with him, on my days off work, I would clean a huge house in the morning and wait until he would wake up. I would feel resentful the whole day because he slept half the day because he stay...	Newlife girl	14	814	Nov 5, 2014 by grateful2be
	Eventually it all becomes (Preview) A God thing. The first three steps were distilled and given to me as 1. Trust God 2. Clean House 3. Help Others. The event where a man at where I work targeted me with his insanity, crossed my boundaries and made threats against our property has taken a different corner. He came up to me unannounce...	Jerry F	6	607	Nov 5, 2014 by Breakingfree
	Mom, We Have a Problem.... (Preview) I am spinning a bit and have been since early Sat morning when we discovered the back part of our home had flooded. After spending the weekend tearing up floors in 3 bedrooms and a hallway and hauling the debris for the trash collectors, we can rest a bit until the plumber comes back on Thursday to make hi...	PP	15	878	Nov 5, 2014 by PP
	Resentment (Preview) I am feeling resentful today and I don't like this feeling. My husband has been in treatment for two weeks. He is doing great and is actually enjoying the classes and fellowship. His mom keeps buying him nice new expensive clothes and sending them to him. He keeps getting gifts from her almost every da...	Star Bird	11	755	Nov 5, 2014 by mjferg
	Hello all ! (Preview) its been one crazy roller coaster but I keep staying on my side of the street!! You all stay blessed !!!	Gaby	4	511	Nov 5, 2014 by PP
	So glad I found Al-Anon (Preview) I just came out of a four year relationship with a recovering alcoholic. Still stunned and it's been bout two months since the split. It was the worst emotional battering of my life. I finally broke down and gave into the fact that bonding to alcoholics has been an ongoing theme in my life. It's been incr...	rikks	10	788	Nov 5, 2014 by Jerry F
	Job Update (Preview) Hi Everyone, I just wanted to share with you that today was my first day at a new job. It's one of those foot in the door kind of things and it a contract position so it will have an end date. I'm going to just take it a day at a time but today was a wonderful day. A group of us were hired, not too many but we'll all b...	tiredtonite	8	389	Nov 4, 2014 by Breakingfree
	My mom is the best (Preview) When I moved out in March, my mom helped me by giving me money to do it. I don't like asking my mom for money. But she understood my situation and wanted me out of that house too. She also helped me pay some of my daughter's tuition. She is at a Christian school and they have great daycare hours so I need her to s...	Newlife girl	7	665	Nov 4, 2014 by Newlife girl
	Good Morning (Preview) Well another week done and two days off. That I am happy because it's been a busy week.... My foot is healing, got the stitches out yesterday. It still feels the same and now with a scar but the doctor told me it will take a few months for that nerve end to heal and let the pain go away. Right now I'm not beli...	Cathyinaz	10	669	Nov 4, 2014 by Path to Serenity
	Possible Assault Charges (Preview) Well I don't know if it is true yet but I have heard the A is facing assault charges. Was I surprised? No, not really. I am a feeling a bit of relief yet sadness for my son.	Truth	4	421	Nov 4, 2014 by Truth
	no matter what she is still my mom! (Preview) I read a post partly about a mom doing over the top things for her daughter. The daughter posted. Well, after reading a snipet of the post, I have come to the conclusion that maybe I have been bashing my mom. She has done so much for me over the years. When my husband was out 8 years ago, my mom stepped in &...	Hoot Nanny	3	506	Nov 4, 2014 by cloudyskies
	feeling lighter. (Preview) today feels like a good day. Elcee posted a scene from the labyrinth, there's another scene in that movie where the heroine walks into a replica of her bedroom and is tempted to stay. That's been the last two weeks. Look,everything's ok! No,it isn't. Have expressed that I cant be the wife to active addi...	aquamom23	2	323	Nov 4, 2014 by neshema2
	The mess left behind (Preview) It seems like every day there is something to clean up, as in first it was the house, I like neat and clean but I got behind from the depression I was in.So my daughter and I have been tackling the house.Yesterday there were errands and financial situations I am working on.My poor pets need to go get flea me...	mjferg	7	599	Nov 4, 2014 by neshema2
	Today I was watching a movie about how hard life is...... (Preview) And I had to stop my train of thought and remember how resilient we are and how good life truly is. I have finally become better instead of bitter. I am careful of who and what I surround myself with now. Here in America in this day and age my fridge is stocked, my heat is on, my kids are healthy and well things...	Breakingfree	8	726	Nov 4, 2014 by neshema2
	Pretend this is a meeting share because I didn't get to mine this week... (Preview) I apologise for the fact that this is like my 300th post on the board this week. But I'm really spinning my wheels, asking myself and my HP a question and I'm getting nowhere. Please understand I'm not looking for "practical" solutions, OMG as I was writing this the cat spewed all over the be...	missmeliss	22	876	Nov 4, 2014 by el-cee
	is this crazy (Preview) I went out to do some shopping today and I walked by the shelf with books and magazines,I looked at the books and i picked one up,I couldn't remember the last time I just sat quietly and read a book.Everything seems so different, like all my senses are exaggerated!!,It is like I am coming out of a bad dre...	mjferg	10	735	Nov 4, 2014 by mjferg
	bits and pieces (Preview) Yesterday I called an old friend I hadn't talked to in years.I cried as we talked and afterwards I realized how many things I gave up. that is, I am remembering things in bits of pieces, just things I have done or have not done because of pleasing him..I let him control everything I did,every decision, ev...	mjferg	11	677	Nov 4, 2014 by mjferg
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The material presented here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method to exchange information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal level.