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communication is the KEY!
(Preview)
In dealing w/ others I believe that communication is of utmost importance. Now that my mom is coming back close to here, I am feeling much better because the communication lines are getting better. Not that before she got sick, it wasn't OK. But now I have the opportunity to get current w/ her, I can see h...
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Hoot Nanny
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5
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673
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Step 7
(Preview)
http://stepwork.activeboard.com/t58964018/alanon-step-7/Participate in your own recovery as well as the recovery of others, by being active on this board as we go through the 12 Steps...
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hotrod
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0
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310
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Another blow
(Preview)
My husband and I have been separated for a year. He has been to rehab twice for alcoholism. 5 months all together. He is going to AA almost every night and working the program with a sponsor but I haven't been able to understand his anger, mood swings, delusion and crazy plans. Sometimes he's nice to me a...
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stillhangingon
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3
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440
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My CoDA - Alanon reflection song
(Preview)
Of course music speaks to us. This song still makes me well up when I think about it and the meaning it has for me. It's a Fleetwood Mac song but Dixie chicks re-popularized it right around the time of the break up too. As the lyrics say, I was afraid of changing because I built my whole life around my ex (a...
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pinkchip
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6
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516
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Looking back I felt like I had to go down with the Titanic
(Preview)
So many times I felt like my exAH was this huge beautiful vessel. He save me from my childhood house and family of origin. He loved me more than anyone really ever had in the beginning and felt sorry for me because of things I had gone through. Over time I turned him into my HP and wanted to earn his love and p...
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Breakingfree
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11
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530
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Learning how to let Go and let God
(Preview)
Well it's taken me months of alanon training but I think I am understanding some of the craziness that developed from my A. I wanted her to get better (she has multiple addictions) for ME! To make MY life and MY marriage better. And what I finally get is that I am the only one who can make my life better. ...
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Lyne
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7
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523
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if you love something
(Preview)
let it go. That is what unfolds within me. My daughter is a daddies girl. To see him come home is like Elvis has entered the building,with cake. Her eyes sparkle,she clasps her hands together and calls daddy! Little footsteps charging down to the door. My mother was a daddies girl too. Her father was als...
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aquamom23
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15
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660
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a solution
(Preview)
Well my financial situation is not good and I am so emotionally tired I don't think it would be wise to add more stress as in working full time or a second job so I decided to sign up for some courses at a local community college and hopefully I will qualify for financial aid to help while I am studying, and th...
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mjferg
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4
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347
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Brand New to Al Anon and the board
(Preview)
So this is basically an introduction and my story cause I am brand new to this and am looking forward to sharing and listening with everyone.
I am a 28 year old mom from Canada, of a 3 year old son and another on the way...due in 2 weeks actually, who are my world and I need to make changes in my life to better...
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Momof2_1986
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6
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652
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Still in Crazy
(Preview)
My AH is still drinking heavily. He moved out of our house and in with gf 5 weeks ago. I have been crying daily. I am having a great deal of trouble coping day to day. He comes over drunk and says mean things to me. Called me an ornery b***** because I sit and cry. He also said mean sexual things about gf a...
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Hullibee
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39
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1900
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good stuff and bad stuff
(Preview)
It seems to me that alanon is about living with good stuff and that seems to be the recipe for serenity, happiness, joy, peace, love etc. So if thats the case then the bad stuff often caused by living with alcoholism or other dysfunction is things like, anger, hate, bitterness, resentment, self righto...
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el-cee
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15
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702
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An apology
(Preview)
I have realized a bad habit I have. I will ask for people's opinions on here, but if I don't hear what I want, I get really defensive. This happened with my post about AH behavior recently...and if daughter should stay with him this weekend. I know what this man is like. I should trust my gut. I am not doing t...
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Newlife girl
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7
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566
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Do I really LOOK that stupid?
(Preview)
So..Sunday night I asked the exAH to hold off giving a new $500 xbox to the 18yo because he is flunking his classes in HS. This caused a 45 min rant from exAH about what a terrible parent I am etc. I agreed to meet the exAH (with reservation) and talk about the situation on Monday. I worried about how it woul...
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rehprof
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6
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738
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Forgiveness versus Reconciliation
(Preview)
I have finally come to the point in my journey where I recognize the difference between forgiveness and reconciliation. I finally discovered what has been a thorn in my side about my experiences within the program and in life in general. It was a really good emotional release.
I think we all know if w...
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Truth
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17
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1585
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Intro
(Preview)
Hi all. My counselor suggested I join an Al-Anon group. Life is busy so I am unable to attend meeting so she said I can online. I don't know if this particular board is location specific...if so please let me know. I am the wife of a recovering alcoholic. My husband drank heavily but it was a very short peri...
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mnkarts2
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5
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391
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Need reassurance that this decision/boundary is the right thing to do
(Preview)
This boundary is about protecting my daughter. Sometimes my brain gets clouded, and I want to see if my support system here agrees with me. I am not purposely focusing on the AH, but this involves him...of course. my former neighbor I've known for 20 years called me Monday night asking me if my AH was ok...
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Newlife girl
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16
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606
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Is this self-pity or just normal feelings
(Preview)
It seems as if my happy bubble has popped!!I am feeling blah today.I just want to relax.I am so tired.I did manage to get all my laundry done yesterday.It is sitting in baskets and the house isn't where I want it to be yet.I am feeling kind of lost today and abandoned.He just left me with all these problem...
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mjferg
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14
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774
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fear
(Preview)
Fear is a powerful emotion, it lingers in me still and it grows at times then before I know it its built up and im acting on it, making decisions based on it. Im trying to think of the tools I used when I first came in because these did the trick and I could bat fear away, shrink it right out of my mind. The what if...
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el-cee
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9
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801
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How I live: now vs then
(Preview)
I have done a lot of reflecting today about how I spend my free time compared to what I did when living with AH. When I lived with him, on my days off work, I would clean a huge house in the morning and wait until he would wake up. I would feel resentful the whole day because he slept half the day because he stay...
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Newlife girl
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14
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725
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Eventually it all becomes
(Preview)
A God thing. The first three steps were distilled and given to me as 1. Trust God 2. Clean House 3. Help Others. The event where a man at where I work targeted me with his insanity, crossed my boundaries and made threats against our property has taken a different corner. He came up to me unannounce...
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Jerry F
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6
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516
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Mom, We Have a Problem....
(Preview)
I am spinning a bit and have been since early Sat morning when we discovered the back part of our home had flooded. After spending the weekend tearing up floors in 3 bedrooms and a hallway and hauling the debris for the trash collectors, we can rest a bit until the plumber comes back on Thursday to make hi...
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PP
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15
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794
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Resentment
(Preview)
I am feeling resentful today and I don't like this feeling. My husband has been in treatment for two weeks. He is doing great and is actually enjoying the classes and fellowship. His mom keeps buying him nice new expensive clothes and sending them to him. He keeps getting gifts from her almost every da...
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Star Bird
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11
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670
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Hello all !
(Preview)
its been one crazy roller coaster but I keep staying on my side of the street!! You all stay blessed !!!
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Gaby
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4
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430
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So glad I found Al-Anon
(Preview)
I just came out of a four year relationship with a recovering alcoholic. Still stunned and it's been bout two months since the split. It was the worst emotional battering of my life. I finally broke down and gave into the fact that bonding to alcoholics has been an ongoing theme in my life. It's been incr...
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rikks
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10
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698
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Job Update
(Preview)
Hi Everyone, I just wanted to share with you that today was my first day at a new job. It's one of those foot in the door kind of things and it a contract position so it will have an end date. I'm going to just take it a day at a time but today was a wonderful day. A group of us were hired, not too many but we'll all b...
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tiredtonite
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8
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308
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My mom is the best
(Preview)
When I moved out in March, my mom helped me by giving me money to do it. I don't like asking my mom for money. But she understood my situation and wanted me out of that house too. She also helped me pay some of my daughter's tuition. She is at a Christian school and they have great daycare hours so I need her to s...
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Newlife girl
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7
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581
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Good Morning
(Preview)
Well another week done and two days off. That I am happy because it's been a busy week.... My foot is healing, got the stitches out yesterday. It still feels the same and now with a scar but the doctor told me it will take a few months for that nerve end to heal and let the pain go away. Right now I'm not beli...
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Cathyinaz
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10
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585
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Possible Assault Charges
(Preview)
Well I don't know if it is true yet but I have heard the A is facing assault charges. Was I surprised? No, not really. I am a feeling a bit of relief yet sadness for my son.
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Truth
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4
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337
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no matter what she is still my mom!
(Preview)
I read a post partly about a mom doing over the top things for her daughter. The daughter posted. Well, after reading a snipet of the post, I have come to the conclusion that maybe I have been bashing my mom. She has done so much for me over the years. When my husband was out 8 years ago, my mom stepped in &...
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Hoot Nanny
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3
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426
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feeling lighter.
(Preview)
today feels like a good day. Elcee posted a scene from the labyrinth, there's another scene in that movie where the heroine walks into a replica of her bedroom and is tempted to stay. That's been the last two weeks. Look,everything's ok! No,it isn't. Have expressed that I cant be the wife to active addi...
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aquamom23
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2
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243
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The mess left behind
(Preview)
It seems like every day there is something to clean up, as in first it was the house, I like neat and clean but I got behind from the depression I was in.So my daughter and I have been tackling the house.Yesterday there were errands and financial situations I am working on.My poor pets need to go get flea me...
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mjferg
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7
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516
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Today I was watching a movie about how hard life is......
(Preview)
And I had to stop my train of thought and remember how resilient we are and how good life truly is. I have finally become better instead of bitter. I am careful of who and what I surround myself with now. Here in America in this day and age my fridge is stocked, my heat is on, my kids are healthy and well things...
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Breakingfree
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8
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637
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Pretend this is a meeting share because I didn't get to mine this week...
(Preview)
I apologise for the fact that this is like my 300th post on the board this week. But I'm really spinning my wheels, asking myself and my HP a question and I'm getting nowhere. Please understand I'm not looking for "practical" solutions, OMG as I was writing this the cat spewed all over the be...
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missmeliss
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22
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790
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is this crazy
(Preview)
I went out to do some shopping today and I walked by the shelf with books and magazines,I looked at the books and i picked one up,I couldn't remember the last time I just sat quietly and read a book.Everything seems so different, like all my senses are exaggerated!!,It is like I am coming out of a bad dre...
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mjferg
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10
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650
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bits and pieces
(Preview)
Yesterday I called an old friend I hadn't talked to in years.I cried as we talked and afterwards I realized how many things I gave up. that is, I am remembering things in bits of pieces, just things I have done or have not done because of pleasing him..I let him control everything I did,every decision, ev...
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mjferg
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11
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589
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A problem here
(Preview)
This may or may not sound crazy but I've been hearing alotbofvthis I guesss alanon quote that I havent a clue as to what it means can someone plz give me the alanon def to it its....It's The destination is on the ticket ?????
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lookingup
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2
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393
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Reading posts
(Preview)
I find it soo much enjoyable to be able to read everyone's posts here and to relate and understand better of this program ,I know it's been a while since I've posted to so as for. the update on me it's slow or I'm coming along slow as a snail but I think I'm getting there as to my serenity,I've been haveing a lo...
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lookingup
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5
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464
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Today is the day.
(Preview)
A's parents are coming this morning to help him move today. By 1pm I hope he will be gone and I will have the whole afternoon cleaning up everything and specially my bedroom. I got a break from my Sunday job to make sure I have time to do it and start a fresh brand new week. The last few days were chalenging bu...
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Luiza
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17
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596
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Plagued by worry and fear
(Preview)
Ok, so my son's tics from his Tourette's are so bad right now. Probably one of the worst flare ups he's had. He blinks his eyes so much and so hard that I have no idea how he gets any schoolwork done. He does not want to take medication because of side effects and also because he knows the tics will fade awa...
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andromeda
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8
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663
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doing life with a recovering alcoholic
(Preview)
Not sure how to do this. There may be already a group that addresses this issue. I am married to a recovering alcoholic. I know that some things are ok and some are not normal. Just not sure which is which? Like the fact that my guy is very wonderful to me but very reclusive and doesn't want kids around much...
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melungeonbaby
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1
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287
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Life has not turned out well for me.
(Preview)
My whole demeanor has changed after 15 years of dealing with an alcoholic. I loved him dearly when we first marriedI did not know he was an alcoholic, and all went well for two years. Then I hit the ground with a thud when he changed from Dr Jekyll to Mr Hyde right in front of my eyes. I have become cynical...
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Diva
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12
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641
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What am I going to do with what I've got?
(Preview)
This is today's question in ODAAT September 9, pg 253. Wow, ... what am I going to do with what I've got? Am I using what I have to the best of my ability? I thought about my graditude list and how I've got so very much to be grateful for. I don't know that I can do an A - Z, Q and Z trip me up .. LOL. Athough I'm g...
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Pushka
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14
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772
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It's been a long time
(Preview)
Hmmm...the more things change, the more they stay the same... My life is so hard, and I'm tired of it... My 18 yo is now exhibiting behavior of his A dad (my ex) and swears at me and blames me...tells me everything is my fault. When I try to engage the ex in convos about parenting...he blames me too...tells...
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rehprof
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11
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537
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dazed & confused
(Preview)
I have so many moments where I feel confused & misinformed. I guess what I am trying to say is this: I don't know much about cell phones but I am getting frustrated because I am running out of data! I have spent a lot of the weekend trying to find entertaining ways to keep myself busy. I acquired so much i...
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Hoot Nanny
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1
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354
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Just call me P.I.
(Preview)
So...on Halloween I took daughter to my house where A is to go trick or treating. This is what she wanted. And I wanted to see the neighbors too. I took her out first, then A took her out. While he was gone, I found some interesting bills and a receipt for unemployment payments. He has been very cagey about h...
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Newlife girl
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12
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704
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This n that.
(Preview)
Well Michael Douglas was evicted after 1 day, he didn't get along with the other feline resident. Apparently it was the OTHER cat that was the aggressor which surprises me as MD is pretty feisty. So yesterday A and I left him at the vet in town and today I went and picked him up and brought him back here. My n...
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missmeliss
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11
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582
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Decisions, decisions
(Preview)
I am a grateful member of Alanon, nearly five years and without the support of Alanon friends and trying to work the prgramme I think I would have gone insane. The alcholic in my life is my partner and we have two children 7 and 8 years old. Her father too was an alcoholic and he died as a result. My partner h...
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littlehob
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11
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836
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Finding your limits...
(Preview)
It is wonderful re-connecting to your body and just knowing the yucky feeling you are getting is your limit. I was on the phone with a friend discussing everyday activities breakfast, what is on the agenda, etc....and then it came "is so and so mad at me?" My body cringed. I paused and said th...
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Truth
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4
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271
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Feeling shaken and stirred...this will pass
(Preview)
You won't believe it but I just deleted my post while trying to edit it....I am such a numpty with technology at times lol ...I was going to add that I have had a light bulb moment ... the feelings I'm experiencing WILL pass...I need to let go and trust that everything will work out as my HP intends for me. Wh...
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rainbow
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13
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627
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this is amazing
(Preview)
Wow, just Wow is all I can say! I have been working hard every day,and doing what my therapist suggests and connecting with people here,and using the steps, and last night I felt a sweet peace that I have never experienced before!I am emotionally tired but things are getting better!peace to all,Mary
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mjferg
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8
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310
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Missed a meeting
(Preview)
I missed the meeting I wanted to go to today because I didn't want to deal with the anger/insults when I left the house to go. He was home all day and we had a bunch of projects to do in the house. (Well, I did most of the work. He yelled when I did things the "wrong" or "inconsiderate" wa...
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laguillotina
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2
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294
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No Sunday Spiritual MEETING today.
(Preview)
I will be unable to chair the meeting today. I am sorry for the short notice. I thought I could do it, but am in a lot of pain. I'm having trouble breathing and not sure what's going on. If you are so inclined I'd appreciate good thoughts and prayers. I hope to be back next week. Overcomer
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Overcome
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2
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203
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Health insurance...should I take him off?
(Preview)
I am still covering AH's health insurance. It doesn't cost me anything. I have good coverage..for now anyway. as you all know, he hasn't worked since January. Why should I continue to cover him even if it doesn't cost me anything? Well...it costs $10 for every dental visit, but thats it. I am wonderin...
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Newlife girl
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9
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574
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is recovery never ending?
(Preview)
When will I be done? I mean, the residual crap caused by this disease lingers on in me and im sick of it. Im angry again because I thought I would invite my ex to dinner for christmas, I know its early but theres been drama around it the last 2 yrs so I think, im going to be a big grown up woman, pull up my big pants...
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el-cee
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15
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562
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same old regrets...
(Preview)
I am struggling w/ the same regrets from the past. I hope someone on here has similar experiences so I can see a different point of view. Sometimes I get stuck. One of the main issues I have & will probably always have, is the fact that I am basically barren. I cannot have children. I don't want to adopt...
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Hoot Nanny
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5
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463
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Typical sucker me
(Preview)
I have been very protective of my tenants, saying I will not allow them to be homeless and was holding out as long as I could. They have a nice rv on my property. There has been no threat of fines or court or anything. With out any notice, owing me $300 they just took off with their rv and left. nice eh? They are...
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Debilyn
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10
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559
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decision paralysis
(Preview)
i haven't been to an Al Anon meeting in a long time. The last time I was at these boards was a year ago. I just need someone to read this and maybe tell me I'm not crazy? or if I am crazy, that I will get better soon? I traded in an alcoholic for a rageholic. We've been together for 4 years. In the beginning of Sept...
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laguillotina
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12
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408
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So what happened with the job...
(Preview)
I got that job at the rehab as clinical director. Was all set to leave with Monday as my last day. We had a conference call today statewide for the current company I work for. The statewide COO was on that call. It was acknowledged I was leaving. 10 minutes after, the state COO called me and offered to match...
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pinkchip
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25
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676
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Nostalgia gives doubt about break up…love or self sabotage?
(Preview)
The hardest thing about being sick and sad on my favorite holiday and what was suppose to be our 3 year anniversary was that he wasnt there to take care of me, and that even if he had been, it probably would have not been what I hoped for. I miss his smile and his eyes and right now I feel him here with me ever so p...
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astallaslions
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3
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503
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God grant me...
(Preview)
anything you have to calm my mind, body, spirit and emotions. That's what I was praying yesterday after a major reaction spiced by my PTSD disability. One of the guys where I work made the decision to target and victimize me with a delusion he was entertaining and then finished it off with a threat t...
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Jerry F
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10
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523
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