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Ok, so my son's tics from his Tourette's are so bad right now. Probably one of the worst flare ups he's had. He blinks his eyes so much and so hard that I have no idea how he gets any schoolwork done. He does not want to take medication because of side effects and also because he knows the tics will fade away eventually because it's the nature of the disorder, tics wax and wane. His triggers are anything from stress (both good and bad) and allergies and hormones. Well, I think he's in a growth spurt again and he has a birthday next weekend along with a tennis tournament. UGH!
For me, it's my mommy heart that breaks for him. He also has a breathing tic where he exhales loudly every minute or so which affects his speech. I will be taking him for acupuncture in a few days because he said he gets a 'small' break from the tics and sometimes the acupuncture helps. We did acupuncture for a year and I really didn't see that much of a difference but he said he felt it and that it relaxed him so I'm going to take him in.
Which leads me to my biggest fear: MONEY. With my getting ready to file for divorce I am so afraid that I won't be able to pay for services for my son. He will be on AH's insurance but that doesn't cover acupuncture, naturopathic doctors, or chiropractic care(except for a few visits a year). I also have to take our son to get evaluations at times with the neuropsychologist and she's not covered by insurance, seems that many of them aren't, ARRGGHHH!
Anyway, I am feeling sad and overwhelmed and worried. I just want my kid to be able to have a normal life. Doesn't he have enough to deal with having an alcoholic father? Why does he have to suffer with Tourette's(and all the other comorbid conditions that go along with it), too. He's been through so much and I can only pray that these challenges make him stronger as he matures and that they don't beat him down. FYI: I don't let him see my concern. I try to be supportive and I do my best to advocate for him but now I fear that my financial situation may not give us the same opportunities we had to get him help as we did in the past. One day at a time right?
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Never grow a wishbone where your backbone ought to be!
(((Andromeda))) I hear you and so understand. A mother's heart is a powerful force for good, so please trust HP with your concerns and use the slogans to stay in the day without projecting into the future.
Do you think that d your son could benefit from alateen ?
I find myself fearing and worrying about the future, too. Sometimes, my fears become reality. Most of the time, they don't. I read something once that was a big help to me: "God supplies what we need, so what we get is what we need." Maybe your son won't need the things you are fearing he will lose, if he even loses it? Our disease will come along whenever we're entertaining a change and try to scare us out of doing what is important for us to do. Turning my fears and my future into my HP's hands always helps me and focusing on myself and what is mine today helps settle me back down although sometimes it takes me longer than others to get there.
-- Edited by grateful2be on Monday 3rd of November 2014 06:01:01 PM
Thanks everyone. I can't tell you how many times I've meditated on the serenity prayer today! He's had tics for 7 years now and it seems they have progressed as he's aged. There is no cure for Tourette's, just meds or a combo of meds and therapy to manage the symptoms. I'm trying so hard to be grateful for the fact that he's healthy, that having tics might be a huge pain in the rear and may cause discomfort but really they won't kill him, etc.
It's just so hard to watch our kids struggle and knowing that even modern medicine can't even totally fix him, LOL. I know, I know....who says he needs fixing, right? He is perfect the way that God made him and I know that, but I hate seeing him hurting and struggling.
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Never grow a wishbone where your backbone ought to be!
It is so painful to see the challenges our children can face.
About the money issue, I wonder if this is where your lawyer can make sure it happens when you get child support. If your son needed and got these services when you're married, he will still need and should get them when you're not. Divorce doesn't make your H not a dad. I hope that works out that way - it should.
So hard not to worry about the future. Hang in there. Hugs.
My mommy heart hurts for him, too. I had a thought as I was reading your post...the divorce may reduce his tics. The anxiety and the tension now might be affecting him in ways that are unseen. God has this...and sometimes that is so hard to believe. Hugs for you and your family.
I thought about that Paula, but I also did the 'what if' on the other side of things: He tics more from stress so having to bounce back and forth between homes might stress him out and make his tics worse. Of course, I'll never know if I don't step out and go for it anyway. At this point, I know I'm not turning back so I'm praying that he handles the transition well and that I can get him the help he needs, if necessary.
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Never grow a wishbone where your backbone ought to be!
