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Forum guidelines/rules...where are they??
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I have been trying to find guidelines to posting on this forum and I cant find them. can a moderator help with this? thanks
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Newlife girl
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2
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501
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Happy Birthday G2B
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Dear Catherine ( aka G2B) I pray that you have a very memorable day and that you enjoy a little of the comfort and love that you bring to others on this your special day.
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hotrod
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27
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860
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Coming Home
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My AH has found out he will be coming home probably within 2 weeks from the 3/4 way house. I don't know how to feel about it really. I had hoped the transition from sober living to home would have been done a lot differently such as building up time and days of being home rather than every other weekend, but i...
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Flower49
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13
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586
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Started dating newly recovering alcoholic
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This is a bit of a long story and all very new to me just a heads up... I'm just trying to understand everything. I began dating this guy about 3 months ago. I really fell for him in the beginning because we have similar careers and passions. We both work with children with special needs and I loved talkin...
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Bostonpugwoman
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33
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1202
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PP heres the look LOL
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Cathyinaz
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5
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511
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A little guidance...
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Im following the steps of AlAnon for my own healing with regard to my A husband of 20 years. 10 years ago he quit drinking And hasn't had a drink since. Little did I know that that was only half the battle. I grew to be a sicker co-dependent as the years went on, even though there was no drinking. His person...
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expertatdenial
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6
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462
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Alateen ?
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hi strangers! I am missing this board and really need to get back to being more active! The holidays were fast and furious and now life is getting back to our "normal". Hope the New Year has been good for ya'll! i have 3 teenagers. My middle teen is really struggling and last night she and I had a...
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Fairlee
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3
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381
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Alcoholic Wife Disaster
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My wife has spent 6 of the last 9 weeks in rehab. During the family program visit she told me that she had removed her wedding band the day she got there and it was "freeing".
One week later she was home. She stayed with us for two nights. However, each day she would drive back to the treatment c...
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MooseWork
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11
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853
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Newbie seeking advice
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Greetings, My girlfriend of almost 3 years entered a womens retreat last Thursday after a almost tragic single vehicle accident on Tuesday. She went willingly and says she is ready to get sober and deal with her painful past. There is no communication allowed during the first week, and very little i...
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Dean P
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8
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661
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feeling 12 years old
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Well I went to class today, I was ten minutes late because of car problems and I apologized to the instructor, this class has been laid back with people cross talking and interrupting, so the girl in front of me was showing me where we were at and all of a sudden he got upset and told us he didn't like talking...
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mjferg
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28
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599
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Suggestions how how to deal with recovering alcoholics
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My ah came out of rehab about two weeks ago and was suppose to stay in a apt we paid for the month. He has stayed two days out of two weeks. Not sure I like that, seems like he's taken back his territory. He was nice for about 6 days Rest if the time it is hit or miss. We have a lot of up and downs, He has been complai...
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Helpangel
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1
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499
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friendships: new & old
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I am really discovering how important my friendships are these days. Not that I really didn't realize what they mean to me. I just know that is very easy for me to be a friend & have very meaningful friendships. Recently through this program, I started to finally get to know my neighbor of 15 years. I...
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Hoot Nanny
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4
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479
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practice,practice,practice
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Well, dealing with people isn't my strong suit.I am rough around the edges and I can be very blunt at times.I don't like to be jerked around and I can be very defensive.I have been called the B word.I need to deal with my landlord in a firm assertive way without getting angry and spouting off.That will be a...
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mjferg
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4
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537
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WEDNESDAY AL-ANON MEETING 9 AM (EST)
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WEDNESDAY AL-ANON MEETING 9 AM (EST) TOPICS: Changed Attitudes; Honesty with Self; Principles above Personalities The website link to the group meeting room is http://www.12stepforums.net/chatroom2.html. There are other ways to join the room also. Using mIRC or other chat client, the ser...
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shimo
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0
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438
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Thoughts on ODAT for today
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The One Day at a Time reading for today is a powerful reminder to examine our motives and discover what, within us, is keeping us ina destructive relationship and accepting of negative behavior and humiliation. The reading points out that every human being is entitled to live without fear, uncert...
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hotrod
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11
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623
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World Service Office of Al-Anon's request for member submissions for 4th reader
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I know several of us attend face to face meetings. If you are like me, you missed the memo on the fact that Al-Anon decided to start a working copy of a 4th Reader for Al-Anon members. They are asking for members to sign in at their webpage using your group's name with afg, going to the individuals/membe...
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grateful2be
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5
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871
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Hello and thank you
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Hi, I have been a long time lurker and finally decided to make an account. The things that have been shared on this forum have been very helpful to me and I suppose it's time I outed myself to possibly have a little more specific advice to my situation because it is somewhat complicated. (I apologize in ad...
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little miss daredevil
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9
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477
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seeking thoughts on dropping the rock
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hey all, been in al anon a few years, working my 8th step right now, coming up against a lot of confusion about my higher powers will for me these days. I do a lot of social justice work and witness a lot of terrible things in the world, and i don't understand why my higher power would allow these things to be,...
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jorjorjor
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5
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504
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Why I need to keep coming back
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I was going through taking screen shots of text messages (evidence) this afternoon. It's amazing to me that declarations of forever "love" and "waiting as long as it takes" lasted, as long as it took to send the message.Realistically I know and understand that my marriage was...
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Jackie11
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6
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472
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Alcoholic partner just lied to me after 5 months of trust
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About 6 month ago I found out my partner, who I had always suspected of being an alcoholic, had gambled over 50K during the last few years while out on drinking binges. He promised to stop drinking, and swore that the gambling only happened when he was drinking and was not a problem in and of itself. Well...
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nic
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6
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553
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ODAT Thought for Today
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ODAT for today states that and if I learn to look at my life as an adventure I will discover thousands of little things that occur in daily that can enriches my day.If I stay in the present moment I can enjoy the sunrise, the sound of the birds, a long walk and all the interesting things I see a long way....
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hotrod
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13
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560
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Beating myself up isn't good....need ESH
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I have to desribe what my brain does to me. I guess this might be called "stinking thinking". not sure. If one thing bothers me, then i start thinking about multiple bad things and my day spirals downward. I am trying to prevent that from happening today. I take martial arts. it isnt easy. I a...
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Newlife girl
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9
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596
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Alanon Concept 4: Participation is the key to harmony...
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The Alanon concepts might seem to be a long way off to some people. But I think it begins when a person comes to their first meeting. Simply coming along is the first stage of participation. We don't have to be getting it right- at least not all of the time. We have all bin there, done that... there is nothi...
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DavidG
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3
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1360
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MIP Unity
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As I said in a previous post, there has been a few days of confusion and controversy here and it is unsettling. I engaged with a member and other issues surfaced. If this happened at a face to face meeting we would hold a moment of silence followed by the serenity payer and proceed Maybe we coul...
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hotrod
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9
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606
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Other models besides AA?
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I have so many other things I want to share... I keep typing out these longer thoughts/vents, but I guess first I want to ask this question that has been bugging me. My AH quit drinking 7 months ago. He started going to AA the very night we staged an intervention, and starting working with his priest, who...
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oceanpine
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9
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820
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Struggling with all of this, I don't really understand the steps of Al anon and AA
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Hi all, This is a rant, so hear me through please...... I have yet to go to another Al anon meeting, I went to one in December and wasn't sure what it all meant. I felt like it meant that the problem was mine, and I do understand that I need to stop trying to fix others. That I get. But I see that the steps are t...
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Katrina324
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16
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1379
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A new day
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I had a talk with my AH last night. Tried to keep it to just how I feel and not throw any ultimatums at him. He gave me a bunch of lip service and says that he is going to quit drinking today. I worry that this is just all talk because he isn't seeking out any professional help. Should I encourage him to start wit...
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flagbabe83
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2
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440
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WHY!!!!!!!????
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Alcoholism yep I was born into the life in 1980. Had a father that had his little girl wrapped around his finger when he was sober. I always felt like my dad was two people in one. A kind loving father and then a monster that could say and do things as though he hated me. His body was found at the young age of 39 a...
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shannon34
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5
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427
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I am feeling irritable
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I have school now, which is a strain and it is very cold here,I didn't have any water this morning,I am having problems with my washing machine and I don't have a dryer so I have to lug clothes to the laundromat to dry them.My hot water tank was leaking and the water damaged a bathroom cabinet, it is covered...
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mjferg
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8
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426
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Feel like I'm going crazy!
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Hi, I'm new to all of this! I've come here because I feel like I'm losing a grip on reality and need some new perspective. Here's my story (the short of it): My husband and I have been married for 4 years, dating for 10. When I first met him in college, he'd drink a lot but no more than the average college stude...
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flagbabe83
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8
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873
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A good day.
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Ahhhhhhh. The day got off to a pretty bad start with everyone yelling at and about me and me waking up to it pretty bewildered and upset and I eventually yelled right back. It was just overwhelming. Everyone is picking on me, right? And I am thinking I literally cannot take another moment of this... Well...
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missmeliss
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14
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1626
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C2C Today
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C2C January 11 this is a powerful page as it speaks about the Al-Anon meetings and the feeling of support, understanding and love that is generated when we are accepted for who we are. We can share without having to pretend and trust that what we share will not be gossiped about and that we will not be gi...
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hotrod
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16
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496
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It's not about me (again)
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I had been under the impression that if I wasn't seeking approval (and maybe I was dipping my big toe into that pool of water), that all my bases were covered, but something clearly still didn't feel right. My Uncle contacted me last night for information. I used words from my T.H.I.N.K. tank and spok...
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bud
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10
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457
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AH wants to die but says "don't worry so much about me" ps we are legally separated but not divorced.
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Thankfully no kids involved... After many years of separation, he finally got evicted from his apartment, I got his stuff and took him to social services. He still wants to die. He was in the hospital night before last because he tried to sleep in his car that is on 3 flat tires. The police took him for a me...
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harveysmom
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8
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688
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How Do You Trust God When He Has Put An Alcoholic in Your Life?
(
1 2 3
)
(Preview)
For those of you who have family members who have turned out to be alcoholic, when you are working the steps, how are you able to trust God, when he obviously did nothing to prevent alcoholism in your loved one (and all of the negative effects on you)? I don't understand what you are trusting/not trustin...
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ohno
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88
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2168
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Went to my F2F home group last night - changed attitudes
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I hadn't been to a meeting in a couple months. With everything going on through the holidays, boy scouts, everything else, well, you know how it goes sometimes. It was great to be there, and great to see how when you are gone for awhile and come back you can pick right back where you were at an Al Anon meet...
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KennyFenderjazz
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7
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600
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Paralyzed with fear
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My husband relapsed recently - he is going downhill both physically & emotionally (depressed). I finally wrote down some boundaries/conditions that I could continue to live with him. One of them is that if he drinks on any given day, he will go to a motel. He agreed to the conditions. Today he d...
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Jessmine
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16
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581
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Cliques at meetings
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Something I don't talk about often here is my home meeting. It's a large meeting, 50 plus people most of the time where we have to use a podium to have people share or else others can't hear them talk, lol. I have been leading the meeting this month and I like doing service work for the group. The problem...
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andromeda
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14
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1223
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stuff
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It's the early hours of the morning here and I was awoken a while back with our son coming in, he has a girlfriend now and a three month old baby son and has been a constant figure in her two other children,s life's, he has a drink problem though and he was in court last week for being drunk and disorderly, he...
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Katy
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3
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435
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MY choice--MY effort---however HP is blessing it
(Preview)
Yesterday and today were big tests for my back therapy...my self imposed, and through research, asking others, my tailored therapy for me......stretching, core strengthening, meditating...more focus on strength and agility/mobility and a bit less on cardio sitting is my worst enemy...there...
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neshema2
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10
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580
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I like this bunches
(Preview)
This is how I do my best to think. Maybe I am too protective, too sensitive. All I know is I just cannot put up with someone hurting another person. Even if what one states is truth, for me it only hurts others and brings negativity. I learned positive goes a lot further than negative. Does not mean I am righ...
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Debilyn
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29
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683
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The fear hook....False Evidence Appearing Real
(Preview)
I finally got what it was I reread the email from my ex-A after I emotionally detached.
In the email
" Don't worry our son will be able to choose one day"
I bought into the fear .... I chose to be afraid and scared. I had a future mind movie going on that he would have to choose.
New message...
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Truth
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9
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512
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What am I grateful for
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So often I get caught up in "life" and the busyness I have challenges. Busy stuff. I forget to do my gratitude list.
I am grateful my back held up after a grueling long day at work. Sore but recovered. Back is slowly healing
Grateful I made decent money yesterday and helped a coworker with...
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neshema2
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5
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524
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I've arrived
(Preview)
at my mothers. Sorry to come here with negativity but it's not very pleasant. It was a long day moving and cleaning out that little room we had been staying in today. The mother came to help move my stuff (I had told her not to and that I would move it OK on my own but, she doesn't seem to hear the frequency my vo...
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missmeliss
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13
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391
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Alanon group issues, and me...
(Preview)
The last f2f meeting I went to was in South Dakota. There was something good going on there and I went to three. Full meetings, vibrant, and there was a local Lakota presence. I could relate because I live in a rural town backing onto two small provincial cities. After one meeting one member came up and t...
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DavidG
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6
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686
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Happiness is....
(Preview)
Playing the piano. And the fact that I can still play considering I mangled my dominant hand almost two months ago. Nov 17th I managed to chop off a third of my middle finger and about a 1/4 inch with nail of my index finger of my right hand - my first thoughts ran to not being able to play anymore, how hard was...
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likemyheart
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12
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1155
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Jan 9 Courage to Change
(Preview)
"Your vision will become clear only when you can look into your own heart" Carl Jung In lieu of recent events, I thought it best to take some time and do what Carl Jung so beautifully said, as quoted in yesterday's Courage to Change. I will continue to look within my own heart, as there are sti...
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PP
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3
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398
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Happy 2015 and grateful
(Preview)
Good morning MIP- When I read Hope for Today Jan 10, I got thinking about the state I was in a couple of years ago when I thankfully found MIP. I was 'off the chain' as some of my students would say. Not sleeping or eating and although not an A myself, certainly living in A behavior and completely addictiv...
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yanksfan51
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2
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252
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im in early recovery, wife is in rehab
(Preview)
I'm in my fourth month of sobriety (alcohol), through AA. My wife basically started drinking a glass of wine at night. This quickly spiraled into being a full blown alcoholic. She would say a lot of very hurtful things when she was drunk. She would also bring up being bored and wanting an open marriage,...
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axe
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6
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449
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Happy 2015 everyone!
(Preview)
Hope everyone entered 2015 with health and hope. This is going to be a big year for me, new life, new home, SINGLE and alcohol crazy making free. I am looking forward to see the year unfolding and I am coping the best I can. I think I am doing well but I predict a storm ahead. Talking about last year, daughte...
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Luiza
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4
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414
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danger zones
(Preview)
There are times in my day, month and year where i find it hard to be the person im trying to be and i am basically the old negative thinking person.The mornings for me are when i could commit murder, not literally but my tongue is looser, my judgements and initial reactions are pretty much negative and the...
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el-cee
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3
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373
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January 9th Hope For Today
(Preview)
In my 3 daily readers I just realized I am no longer suffering! Wow and thanks to Al-anon and my straight shooting dearly beloved sponsor for lovingly telling me like it is! Today's reading for One Day at a Time is also perfect for me, as long as I kept playing God I was in my own way and taking responsibili...
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Breakingfree
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5
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626
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I really need some advice
(Preview)
My husband, while in treatment, became very mean to me. He has shut me out. His words are mean and he can only talk about all my faults and how i need to fix myself and says nothing more about himself other then how much he has done for me, what integrity he has etc. he is going into sober living but will not te...
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mattGrammy
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6
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478
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Bella and tolerance
(Preview)
I had a birthday celebration and my daughter brought me a cat,I love cats and dogs!Poor Bella wasn't being treated very well and it is freezing cold here,my daughter was worried about her,so she talked to the owner about taking her.I am getting to know her,she is so happy to get attention,she meows con...
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mjferg
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6
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584
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Oh, my! An amends and a change of mind
(Preview)
Dear All: I have followed through with listening, talking things over with my sponsor and paying attention to what all of you have said. At this point, this is what I've realized - I left the process before it came to a conclusion. I'm sorry I didn't just wait but, yes, Cathy (you smart woman you), I cou...
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grateful2be
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38
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880
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serenity
(Preview)
Serenity is something we have to work to get to, and work even more to keep and share. When things are feeling rough, what has helped me is to stop, think about it all without emotions. What is really going on? Is it appropriate, acceptable, will it hurt someone else? Am I concentrating on my stuff or goin...
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Debilyn
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9
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574
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How do you know the difference between punishing and being true to yourself?
(Preview)
I would appreciate any e/s/h on this topic. I am looking within checking with my values and making decisions. I say no now when it is not in line with my values. As in true form with my second guessing myself (I am trying to shift that thought to lol), I am struggling with this again. Feel confused again!!
...
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Truth
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14
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755
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Laying my own guilt trip on myself....
(Preview)
Well I am back right into my disease again.....I must have missed it so much I have just spent three hours beating myself up for not understanding this feeling. Boo!!!!! Thanks MIP family for dealing with my ups and downs ....off to bed
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Truth
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3
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377
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Contemplating a 9th- complicated with fear
(Preview)
Hi Family, Tonight my dear Uncle called, with a transparent fake cheerfulness, to let me know he had "great news". He wants to meet me when I'm down in his area to visit my Dad to give me something that my Mom wanted me to have. His chipper voice came across to me as great sarcasm and I found it...
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bud
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10
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586
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soap
(Preview)
Well this isn't al-anon but then in a way it is. Feel free to delete it if it's just too far off the track. I'm playing a waiting game at the moment. I've been letting it drive me quite mad. I think that's rational, it has been 4 months now of having no fixed address and at times I have felt like I am really, hone...
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missmeliss
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12
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643
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