Al-Anon Family Group - Al-Anon Family Group

kissers · kissers

I give up on everything. The more I try to make my situation better, the more obstacles fly in the way. I was 1 of 110 people chosen for an entreprenuer program. My family said they would watch my daughter 3 evening per week while I was in the program, then decided to pull the rug out from under me. I was termi...

Powerless · Powerless

He finally admitted tonight that he has been seeing her and sleeping with her. He admitted it while make love to me. We were in the middle of sex and he told me exactly what happened. I got up and felt like I was going to throw up. I can't believe he admitted it. I guess part...

Powerless · Powerless

I am so angry. I wanted to post earlier but couldn't calm down enough to type. The other woman called me this morning and said she had been thinking all night and couldn't live with herself for lying to me yesterday. She said that they met each other two months ago, not one and that the...

rtexas · rtexas

Happy Birthday Month to everyone with a birthday this month! You know who you are! For the rest of the year you will have to settle for Happy Serenity Day, that is a 365 day per year holiday. Boy wouldn't that be a relief! Take care everyone! -- Edited by rtexas at 11:24, 2006-0...

confusedmom · confusedmom

It's been a long time since I've posted anything. I truly thought things were going better. My husband was drinking less and staying home more. I felt like he really wanted our family to work. Now, about 2 months ago the cycle started again. I can't figure out what my bigge...

rtexas · rtexas

You know... <sigh> I can't seem to win for loosing... My A and I are not talking much. She is very put out that I am not fighting with her all the time. She refuses to do recreational things with me. Our son has done some stuff with her, which is fine with me as long as she is saf...

Barbara · Barbara

Just came back late last night/early this morn from my week at "My Happy Place" (Walt Disney World). I almost cried on the plane knowing it was time to face reality once again. I want to run away and live down there forever. Only 4.5 more months and I'll return - this time w/my son for a week before my husban...

DJ2006 · DJ2006

I love to read and getting to meetings will be tough for me since I work two jobs. I am going to try to go though. Does anyone have any good book recommendations? I have a twin, an ex-husband, and current boyfriend who are alcoholics. My parents never drank but I was molested by my dad when I was a teen. This p...

twinmom2 · twinmom2

Last night my "a" had to go to work. He's been working a third shift job since returning to the home. He didn't get to sleep until 4 pm because he chose to watch a movie and then hook up with one of his buddies to smoke pot and play music. I did say to him that I'd like him to work on his sleep s...

nycbt · nycbt

Since I been in the program I have made alot of friends.

DJ2006 · DJ2006

I have never been to an al-anon meeting in person either yet. I hope to go one day soon. I'm 45 yrs old and divorced mother of a 20 year old daughter with health problems. I come from a large family of 7 kids. I have a twin who is an alcoholic and still drinking. My ex-husband was an alcoholic. I have been divor...

angel123 · angel123

another reading on step two,with love Angel

angel123 · angel123

Hi everyone,I hurt my foot and have alot of time on my hands.I am one to go go go.This foot has me sitting more.So I decided to try to put the 12 steps up here.Thru the years I have collected forums they are alanon approved litature.Some call it meeting in my pocket.I would have typed it but I do not typ as fas...

sim1kag · sim1kag

Hello to all, I am new to the online group and to Al-Anon and making the baby steps to recovery, soon to find a group to go to that is not online, however reading through the topics and such I don't understand alot of the abbreviations....I don't mean to sound stupid.

.sorry but is there a pag...

flintfeet · flintfeet

i keep seeing people post about having a sponsor. what is the purpose? i feel like if i had a sponsor i would just drag them down with me. i guess i just don't understand it.

QOD · QOD

I have tried several times to get into the chat room this week. It has been a while since I have been in there. It won't let me in....says I'm not connected or something. Any suggestions? QOD

emma · emma

I'm going through a rough patch -- too many big stressors at one time. Adversely affecting sleep. I'm trying to figure out, well, I guess I'm trying to figure my way out. No way out but through most of the stuff -- the main debilitating issue for me deals with the ex and the kids. He knows this is his last w...

kspear · kspear

Good morning, everyone! I'm looking forward to some gorgeous weather out in the Central NY area today (high of 75 - yippee!) I was wondering if anyone knew of a site or place where I could find out more about working the 12 Steps from the Al-Anon perspective. It's my understanding the st...

wallsal55 · wallsal55

Instead of a gratitude list, the idea of a Positive List, seems to be working better for me. Listing all the letters of the alphabet A- Z, I put down a word for each letter that brings a smile to my face! And I do not have to work the list in order ! Anyway, wh...

flintfeet · flintfeet

how do you handle having a few drinks with dinner/night out? my dad is an A (his parents/grandparents...were also). i have a fear that my brother is following in his footsteps. he leads a normal productive life (goes to school/work/has a relationship). but a long time ago, so did my father. maybe it...

HadEnuff · HadEnuff

I'm so glad I found this place. It helps me so much to understand detachment. I've spent 11 years carrying the weight of all of this on my little shoulders and wondering why I've become so sick. I see that it is a process now and not something that is going to turn around or happen imm...

Jeannie · Jeannie

I was replying to another topic and I found myself thinking and my ideas wandering. I got so sad, and then thinking about it made so much sense. I can detach from my husbands drinking, the problem is the behavior that goes with it. I started thinking about my parents. My Mom and dad have been married f...

rrayrray · rrayrray

this is my first time on. my ex of 4 hrs has gone into rehab again. what can i say? i need any words of wisdom you can give me. i have a 7 yr old daughter hurting terribly. i am trying to stay detached, but her pain pulls me in. thanks ::

Cyn · Cyn

Hello all Hope you are doing well - things are going great here in NJ. My job is going fanstastic and I am finishing up my other job in 20 days (FINALLY). I had some huge accomplishments this last month - 1 being a swimmer from my team making the YMCA National Championships (first time in 10...

angel123 · angel123

P practicing program every day R Recalling rules along the way I into better times ahead N never feeling the old dread C correcting habits that are bad P preparing now to live each minute L loving,caring others in it E ending daily with a prayer S saying God I'm glad I'm here Look no...

Rebecca · Rebecca

hi guys has anyone heard from cyn at all...??? i havent seen her name in here in ages and i havent gotten an e-mail from here in over a month.... was getting kinda worried... i hope shes just too busy with work or sumthing...hope its got nothing to do with the ex, he cud have made contact. hope ye ar...

SerenityGirl · SerenityGirl

I'm so frustrated. My a boyfriend is home today. I called the neighbor to find out if he was home since he wasn't answering his phone and I was getting worried. She said she heard him walking around upstairs. She called me later to tell me the other neighbors saw him HIDING all day s...

Gailey · Gailey

Tonight I will be attending a women's spritual retreat in Gettysburg, PA. It is for the whole weekend. It is titled "A Well Tended Soul". Valerie Bell is the author and the speaker for this retreat. I am very excited. The weather is beautiful and although things are not going that good right now...I am s...

Powerless · Powerless

I spoke with my husband and the other woman this morning separately and they both told me the same thing. They met at a truck stop (she is also a truck driver) and exchanged numbers. She doesn't live in out state and haven't seen each other since they met, but talk for several hours each day w...

SerenityGirl · SerenityGirl

Does anyone know how I can get connected to the chat room? My computer crashed last week and I've no been able to get in since then. This is what comes up. Any suggestion? Connecting...unable to connect: com.ms.security.SecurityExceptionEx: cannot connect to "irc mipcha...

Powerless · Powerless

I woke up this morning and checked my husband's cell phone. I was being nosy. I found a bunch of texts from another woman. I called the number and spoke with the woman. We have the same name, imagine that. He met her at a truck stop on his way through Georgia. They h...

flintfeet · flintfeet

i have not posted in a while. the truth is that i have not had time to sit down, think about what is wrong, and get upset about it. i have kept busy. but i had a free moment yesturday and thought about my dad. i just found out that my dad went out of town. we still are not speaking, so i found out from my brother t...

robyn76 · robyn76

Hi all, So, 2 months ago I discovered that my husband was addicted to cocaine. After 8 weeks of more emotions than this one girl can endure I am looking for anyone who can help me make sense of this hell. We have been married for almost 9 years and have 2 beautiful daughters, wonderful fami...

Juster · Juster

The post yesterday by rtexas got me thinking about how music can be used to help with detachment. Long before I ever heard of detachment, when my AW was giving me fits, I would, and do, run part of the old Simon and Garfunkle song through my mind. I am a rock I am an island and a rock feels no pain...

jrtjosey · jrtjosey

Well he has had his moments, but after he was proved wrong about money issues, he was very civil last night. Things are dividing nicely with no hassles so far as small household items. So just have to be around him at noon and this evening and we are on our way. Kids are excited a...

Picowitch · Picowitch

Hi there, haven't been around for a bit had lots going on with trying to reconcile with hubby. I really need a sponsore to help me at the moment as I'm well and truly stuck - local f2f meetings have proved to be not very much help to me, and with very few members, I've been unable to find a f2f sponsor...

rtexas · rtexas

.... I wonder if that applies to kids at heart (... me ...) So I set up an apointment with a mariage councelor for next week. I told my wife about it and she didn't say much except that she's been saying that forever.... the phrase I heard was '... if you drag me to a councelor, I will rip you a new one i...

Ria · Ria

Hi, I've just re-read several posts as I realised they had 'stirred up some old stuff' for me. It's about separation/divorce/babies. I don't know if it is appropriate to use this forum for this purpose or whether I should've journalled it. I haven't got a sponsor at the moment as she left the pro...

Jerry F · Jerry F

Aloha Ohana (Hello Family) Life has been great, with a few little mole hills here and there nothing much that Higher Power would even break into a sweat about and then the problem is me right? So last night I decide to use the paper shredder and its jambed up with paper and not only not working but...

marmare · marmare

For two days my A has been baiting me. Wanting to fight, argue, he is just being right out rude to me and the kids. He went out Saturday night didn't come home, then Sunday around 11am he answered my call only to hang up on me and turn his phone off. I didn't react! Now for the last t...

peewee · peewee

Courage to Change, Mar 29 "It's time I started being nicer to myself. The voices in my head that tell me I'm not good enough do not speak the truth..." I have some loud voices in my head today telling me I am not good Enough. One voice in particular is an echo of what I heard yesterda...

Diva · Diva

Now that I have posted 500 times, I have become a "service worker?" I don't think so. I prefer to think of myself as a voice of reason and a giver of good advice. I'll leave the "service working" to others who are more qualified in that field. Love to all, Diva

JulieLynn · JulieLynn

I went by my husband's house last night to pick up my Check Visa that was mailed there. This was the first time I have seen him or even spoke to him since I left 3 1/2 weeks ago. I was able to hold myself together. I went into the house, picked up my mail and didn't try to engage in any conver...

Gailey · Gailey

I really need to start setting up boundaries. My DIL and son are separated. My son is the A. I am trying very hard to support her in this time that is so very hard for her. There are also 2 beautiful children involved. I am trying to work my program to the best of my ability at this time. I am trying not to lectur...

angel123 · angel123

When my first sponcer was alive,she gave me homework,I do it now with those I sponcer.One thing that really helped me was writing.I have saved alot of the things I wrote as we discused things.I found "let go let God"Thought I would share.... Letting go doesn't mean releasing my grip on life and fal...

Dolphin123 · Dolphin123

Hi All, I have heard over and over that what we don't like in about someone else can be a trait we may ourselves have that bothers us. Well, my "A" has had some really poor choices of friends. What bothers me so much, is that they are takers, and he is their giver. And it pisses me off when he is doing that....

debilyn · debilyn

That cheating and/or abuse are NOT a symptom of being A. Not all A's abuse and or cheat. Is it in alanon or AA lit. that they are symptoms? I do not buy it, not one bit. BUT I would LOVE to hear the other side and literature that talks about it. love,debilyn

angel123 · angel123

Twelve Rewards To the Twelve Steps 1.HOPE instead of desperation. 2. FAITH instead of despair. 3. COURAGE instead of fear. 4. PEACE OF MIND instead of confusion. 5. SELF -RESPECT instead of contempt. 6. SELF CONFIDENCE instead of helplessness. 7. RESPECT OF OTHERS instead of pity a...

HadEnuff · HadEnuff

Oh man - it just gets worse. Of course, trying to have the courage of my convictions, I was conned back in last night. He said he's not going to go on the system looking for women anymore and proceeds to tell me all about the women that he's spoken with and how they finally admit that they are ov...

jonibaloni21 · jonibaloni21

Hi all, My computer guru neighbor came over and got my computer back up for now!!!! He's really good with em! But I'm gonna start a savings for a new one anyway! This silly thing has gone down many times before and I don't trust it! So thanks for all the well-wishes and prayers! Am almost afraid to use it for...

HadEnuff · HadEnuff

Just a quick recap: We were supposed to have broken up. We live in the same duplex we own (separate sides). He has continued to request my presence and 'other things', nightly, once he is drunk. I have acquiesced. I already caught him in the act with a woman 2 weeks ago.&nbs...

Powerless · Powerless

Thanks to my pink toenails and fingernails I got through today with my focus where it needed to be. The pink reminded me of my program. My husband woke up this morning and was very ill tempered. He was angry that he quit his job and blamed me. He said I made him quit. I want...

Cinnamonwdh · Cinnamonwdh

Hi there, my husband’s father is a self-admitted alcoholic and I am not sure what I can do to help him, or to help my husband for that matter and I am looking for some advice. What’s happened is the father had gone into detox about a year ago and was doing alright – he was still drinking about 3 bee...

jrtjosey · jrtjosey

My husband came home last night and we had a very civil conversation. He said he would still like me to stay. ( With a beer in his hand) How romantic? It went well, still using same lawyer, divided some property. He still upset over bills, he doesn't talk to me about them, he jus...

txmom · txmom

I read this little blurb in the newspaper today (of all places to find hope lol) and thought it was worth sharing: "After the darkness comes the light. It is a law. And thus, as night comes, the moon rises. At dawn, daylight returns. In the evening, the sky explodes. Each brightness offers hope un...

nycbt · nycbt

Next weekend I am going away with some program friends. My husband and I are getting along great so now I am having a hard time getting myself to go. I have all ready paid my money. I know that I am going to have a wonderful time once get past this unknown stuff going through my head. Once I am in the car I will...

rtexas · rtexas

I played a Guns-n-Roses cd so loud on my way to work that when I stopped at red lights people were staring at me. I feel totally relaxed...

kspear · kspear

Good afternoon, all. I was sitting here thinking about when I go home later. (Work is such a refuge for me!) I'd really like to hear about some of the tools that we can use on a minute by minute basis when our A is acting out. Just to get through the moment. My main thing right now is again with my son. He st...

jrtjosey · jrtjosey

I got a very polite email from my A today asking if the kids had anything tonight or if we could talk. I thought he meant continue dicussioins on division of property. I replied that would be fine. He comes home at lunch and says "'we can work this out". I said very calmly, like w...

Gailey · Gailey

The A is my son. I can have compassion for my child. I understand the disease alot more now that I have been reading all of your posts for several months. My father was an A. I never had any compassion for him until I knew more about the disease. There are alot of "isms" in my family. I can have compassion beca...

Topic		Started By	Replies	Views	Last Post
	I Give Up (Preview) I give up on everything. The more I try to make my situation better, the more obstacles fly in the way. I was 1 of 110 people chosen for an entreprenuer program. My family said they would watch my daughter 3 evening per week while I was in the program, then decided to pull the rug out from under me. I was termi...	kissers	9	435	Apr 1, 2006 by Diva
	The truth at last (Preview) He finally admitted tonight that he has been seeing her and sleeping with her. He admitted it while make love to me. We were in the middle of sex and he told me exactly what happened. I got up and felt like I was going to throw up. I can't believe he admitted it. I guess part...	Powerless	8	472	Apr 1, 2006 by Becky1
	The other woman (Preview) I am so angry. I wanted to post earlier but couldn't calm down enough to type. The other woman called me this morning and said she had been thinking all night and couldn't live with herself for lying to me yesterday. She said that they met each other two months ago, not one and that the...	Powerless	12	596	Apr 1, 2006 by Becky1
	Last Happy Birthday Month for March '06 (Preview) Happy Birthday Month to everyone with a birthday this month! You know who you are! For the rest of the year you will have to settle for Happy Serenity Day, that is a 365 day per year holiday. Boy wouldn't that be a relief! Take care everyone! -- Edited by rtexas at 11:24, 2006-0...	rtexas	3	292	Apr 1, 2006 by Becky1
	What do you do ? (Preview) It's been a long time since I've posted anything. I truly thought things were going better. My husband was drinking less and staying home more. I felt like he really wanted our family to work. Now, about 2 months ago the cycle started again. I can't figure out what my bigge...	confusedmom	3	336	Apr 1, 2006 by Angie
	The kids... (Preview) You know... <sigh> I can't seem to win for loosing... My A and I are not talking much. She is very put out that I am not fighting with her all the time. She refuses to do recreational things with me. Our son has done some stuff with her, which is fine with me as long as she is saf...	rtexas	5	341	Apr 1, 2006 by drucilla06
	It is extremely hard coming back to reality (Preview) Just came back late last night/early this morn from my week at "My Happy Place" (Walt Disney World). I almost cried on the plane knowing it was time to face reality once again. I want to run away and live down there forever. Only 4.5 more months and I'll return - this time w/my son for a week before my husban...	Barbara	2	324	Apr 1, 2006 by mebjk
	Books..... (Preview) I love to read and getting to meetings will be tough for me since I work two jobs. I am going to try to go though. Does anyone have any good book recommendations? I have a twin, an ex-husband, and current boyfriend who are alcoholics. My parents never drank but I was molested by my dad when I was a teen. This p...	DJ2006	4	309	Apr 1, 2006 by DJ2006
	Keeping it real for me! (Preview) Last night my "a" had to go to work. He's been working a third shift job since returning to the home. He didn't get to sleep until 4 pm because he chose to watch a movie and then hook up with one of his buddies to smoke pot and play music. I did say to him that I'd like him to work on his sleep s...	twinmom2	7	359	Apr 1, 2006 by maresie
	friend (Preview) Since I been in the program I have made alot of friends.	nycbt	4	323	Apr 1, 2006 by maresie
	Hi I'm new here..... (Preview) I have never been to an al-anon meeting in person either yet. I hope to go one day soon. I'm 45 yrs old and divorced mother of a 20 year old daughter with health problems. I come from a large family of 7 kids. I have a twin who is an alcoholic and still drinking. My ex-husband was an alcoholic. I have been divor...	DJ2006	6	449	Apr 1, 2006 by mebjk
	anoth step two reading (Preview) another reading on step two,with love Angel	angel123	0	297	Apr 1, 2006 by angel123
	Step 2 (Preview) Hi everyone,I hurt my foot and have alot of time on my hands.I am one to go go go.This foot has me sitting more.So I decided to try to put the 12 steps up here.Thru the years I have collected forums they are alanon approved litature.Some call it meeting in my pocket.I would have typed it but I do not typ as fas...	angel123	0	261	Apr 1, 2006 by angel123
	Abbreviation explanations (Preview) Hello to all, I am new to the online group and to Al-Anon and making the baby steps to recovery, soon to find a group to go to that is not online, however reading through the topics and such I don't understand alot of the abbreviations....I don't mean to sound stupid..sorry but is there a pag...	sim1kag	5	2218	Apr 1, 2006 by nycbt
	what sponsor?? (Preview) i keep seeing people post about having a sponsor. what is the purpose? i feel like if i had a sponsor i would just drag them down with me. i guess i just don't understand it.	flintfeet	4	356	Apr 1, 2006 by nycbt
	Can't get into chatroom (Preview) I have tried several times to get into the chat room this week. It has been a while since I have been in there. It won't let me in....says I'm not connected or something. Any suggestions? QOD	QOD	5	311	Apr 1, 2006 by buzzfree
	recovery and bumps along the road (Preview) I'm going through a rough patch -- too many big stressors at one time. Adversely affecting sleep. I'm trying to figure out, well, I guess I'm trying to figure my way out. No way out but through most of the stuff -- the main debilitating issue for me deals with the ex and the kids. He knows this is his last w...	emma	2	301	Apr 1, 2006 by emma
	Step Information/Other questions (Preview) Good morning, everyone! I'm looking forward to some gorgeous weather out in the Central NY area today (high of 75 - yippee!) I was wondering if anyone knew of a site or place where I could find out more about working the 12 Steps from the Al-Anon perspective. It's my understanding the st...	kspear	4	673	Apr 1, 2006 by Ria
	Positive List (Preview) Instead of a gratitude list, the idea of a Positive List, seems to be working better for me. Listing all the letters of the alphabet A- Z, I put down a word for each letter that brings a smile to my face! And I do not have to work the list in order ! Anyway, wh...	wallsal55	2	298	Mar 31, 2006 by Jeannie
	how to handle it? (Preview) how do you handle having a few drinks with dinner/night out? my dad is an A (his parents/grandparents...were also). i have a fear that my brother is following in his footsteps. he leads a normal productive life (goes to school/work/has a relationship). but a long time ago, so did my father. maybe it...	flintfeet	5	349	Mar 31, 2006 by mebjk
	So I Give In and Back to Square 1 ... (Preview) I'm so glad I found this place. It helps me so much to understand detachment. I've spent 11 years carrying the weight of all of this on my little shoulders and wondering why I've become so sick. I see that it is a process now and not something that is going to turn around or happen imm...	HadEnuff	2	360	Mar 31, 2006 by mebjk
	Just thinking (Preview) I was replying to another topic and I found myself thinking and my ideas wandering. I got so sad, and then thinking about it made so much sense. I can detach from my husbands drinking, the problem is the behavior that goes with it. I started thinking about my parents. My Mom and dad have been married f...	Jeannie	9	409	Mar 31, 2006 by cdb
	REHAB 2ND TIME AROUND (Preview) this is my first time on. my ex of 4 hrs has gone into rehab again. what can i say? i need any words of wisdom you can give me. i have a 7 yr old daughter hurting terribly. i am trying to stay detached, but her pain pulls me in. thanks ::	rrayrray	4	386	Mar 31, 2006 by cdb
	Alive and well (Preview) Hello all Hope you are doing well - things are going great here in NJ. My job is going fanstastic and I am finishing up my other job in 20 days (FINALLY). I had some huge accomplishments this last month - 1 being a swimmer from my team making the YMCA National Championships (first time in 10...	Cyn	3	292	Mar 31, 2006 by cdb
	PRINCPLES (Preview) P practicing program every day R Recalling rules along the way I into better times ahead N never feeling the old dread C correcting habits that are bad P preparing now to live each minute L loving,caring others in it E ending daily with a prayer S saying God I'm glad I'm here Look no...	angel123	5	296	Mar 31, 2006 by hudsond
	missing person... (Preview) hi guys has anyone heard from cyn at all...??? i havent seen her name in here in ages and i havent gotten an e-mail from here in over a month.... was getting kinda worried... i hope shes just too busy with work or sumthing...hope its got nothing to do with the ex, he cud have made contact. hope ye ar...	Rebecca	2	330	Mar 31, 2006 by Cyn
	Need to get it out... (Preview) I'm so frustrated. My a boyfriend is home today. I called the neighbor to find out if he was home since he wasn't answering his phone and I was getting worried. She said she heard him walking around upstairs. She called me later to tell me the other neighbors saw him HIDING all day s...	SerenityGirl	7	451	Mar 31, 2006 by Juster
	Doing something good for me (Preview) Tonight I will be attending a women's spritual retreat in Gettysburg, PA. It is for the whole weekend. It is titled "A Well Tended Soul". Valerie Bell is the author and the speaker for this retreat. I am very excited. The weather is beautiful and although things are not going that good right now...I am s...	Gailey	3	425	Mar 31, 2006 by BlueCloud
	Have a confession (Preview) I spoke with my husband and the other woman this morning separately and they both told me the same thing. They met at a truck stop (she is also a truck driver) and exchanged numbers. She doesn't live in out state and haven't seen each other since they met, but talk for several hours each day w...	Powerless	12	730	Mar 31, 2006 by hudsond
	I need help connection (Preview) Does anyone know how I can get connected to the chat room? My computer crashed last week and I've no been able to get in since then. This is what comes up. Any suggestion? Connecting...unable to connect: com.ms.security.SecurityExceptionEx: cannot connect to "irc mipcha...	SerenityGirl	2	314	Mar 31, 2006 by Jeannie
	Another woman (Preview) I woke up this morning and checked my husband's cell phone. I was being nosy. I found a bunch of texts from another woman. I called the number and spoke with the woman. We have the same name, imagine that. He met her at a truck stop on his way through Georgia. They h...	Powerless	22	690	Mar 31, 2006 by northstar
	no time to think (Preview) i have not posted in a while. the truth is that i have not had time to sit down, think about what is wrong, and get upset about it. i have kept busy. but i had a free moment yesturday and thought about my dad. i just found out that my dad went out of town. we still are not speaking, so i found out from my brother t...	flintfeet	7	328	Mar 31, 2006 by Gailey
	Newbie online and in general (Preview) Hi all, So, 2 months ago I discovered that my husband was addicted to cocaine. After 8 weeks of more emotions than this one girl can endure I am looking for anyone who can help me make sense of this hell. We have been married for almost 9 years and have 2 beautiful daughters, wonderful fami...	robyn76	8	328	Mar 31, 2006 by robyn76
	Music as Detachment (Preview) The post yesterday by rtexas got me thinking about how music can be used to help with detachment. Long before I ever heard of detachment, when my AW was giving me fits, I would, and do, run part of the old Simon and Garfunkle song through my mind. I am a rock I am an island and a rock feels no pain...	Juster	7	503	Mar 31, 2006 by QOD
	Final day (Preview) Well he has had his moments, but after he was proved wrong about money issues, he was very civil last night. Things are dividing nicely with no hassles so far as small household items. So just have to be around him at noon and this evening and we are on our way. Kids are excited a...	jrtjosey	13	528	Mar 31, 2006 by toto12
	online sponsor request (Preview) Hi there, haven't been around for a bit had lots going on with trying to reconcile with hubby. I really need a sponsore to help me at the moment as I'm well and truly stuck - local f2f meetings have proved to be not very much help to me, and with very few members, I've been unable to find a f2f sponsor...	Picowitch	4	373	Mar 31, 2006 by DanaAngel
	Bill Cosby - "Kids are brain damaged..." (Preview) .... I wonder if that applies to kids at heart (... me ...) So I set up an apointment with a mariage councelor for next week. I told my wife about it and she didn't say much except that she's been saying that forever.... the phrase I heard was '... if you drag me to a councelor, I will rip you a new one i...	rtexas	5	718	Mar 31, 2006 by seachange
	I feel soooo sad, the past revisited. (Preview) Hi, I've just re-read several posts as I realised they had 'stirred up some old stuff' for me. It's about separation/divorce/babies. I don't know if it is appropriate to use this forum for this purpose or whether I should've journalled it. I haven't got a sponsor at the moment as she left the pro...	Ria	5	449	Mar 31, 2006 by Ria
	When HP speaks I listen... (Preview) Aloha Ohana (Hello Family) Life has been great, with a few little mole hills here and there nothing much that Higher Power would even break into a sweat about and then the problem is me right? So last night I decide to use the paper shredder and its jambed up with paper and not only not working but...	Jerry F	3	377	Mar 31, 2006 by nmike
	Baiting me? (Preview) For two days my A has been baiting me. Wanting to fight, argue, he is just being right out rude to me and the kids. He went out Saturday night didn't come home, then Sunday around 11am he answered my call only to hang up on me and turn his phone off. I didn't react! Now for the last t...	marmare	5	360	Mar 30, 2006 by Therese
	Nicer to self is hard to do (Preview) Courage to Change, Mar 29 "It's time I started being nicer to myself. The voices in my head that tell me I'm not good enough do not speak the truth..." I have some loud voices in my head today telling me I am not good Enough. One voice in particular is an echo of what I heard yesterda...	peewee	6	483	Mar 30, 2006 by peewee
	Hmmmm (Preview) Now that I have posted 500 times, I have become a "service worker?" I don't think so. I prefer to think of myself as a voice of reason and a giver of good advice. I'll leave the "service working" to others who are more qualified in that field. Love to all, Diva	Diva	4	366	Mar 30, 2006 by Karilynn
	I am making progress (Preview) I went by my husband's house last night to pick up my Check Visa that was mailed there. This was the first time I have seen him or even spoke to him since I left 3 1/2 weeks ago. I was able to hold myself together. I went into the house, picked up my mail and didn't try to engage in any conver...	JulieLynn	5	362	Mar 30, 2006 by RamzDear
	Really need to set up boundaries (Preview) I really need to start setting up boundaries. My DIL and son are separated. My son is the A. I am trying very hard to support her in this time that is so very hard for her. There are also 2 beautiful children involved. I am trying to work my program to the best of my ability at this time. I am trying not to lectur...	Gailey	2	347	Mar 30, 2006 by aunitedway
	letting go letting God (Preview) When my first sponcer was alive,she gave me homework,I do it now with those I sponcer.One thing that really helped me was writing.I have saved alot of the things I wrote as we discused things.I found "let go let God"Thought I would share.... Letting go doesn't mean releasing my grip on life and fal...	angel123	3	378	Mar 30, 2006 by Beth
	Reflections Of Ourselves (Preview) Hi All, I have heard over and over that what we don't like in about someone else can be a trait we may ourselves have that bothers us. Well, my "A" has had some really poor choices of friends. What bothers me so much, is that they are takers, and he is their giver. And it pisses me off when he is doing that....	Dolphin123	5	315	Mar 30, 2006 by Powerless
	I strongly believe...... (Preview) That cheating and/or abuse are NOT a symptom of being A. Not all A's abuse and or cheat. Is it in alanon or AA lit. that they are symptoms? I do not buy it, not one bit. BUT I would LOVE to hear the other side and literature that talks about it. love,debilyn	debilyn	5	397	Mar 30, 2006 by twinmom2
	Twelve Rewards to the Twelve Steps (Preview) Twelve Rewards To the Twelve Steps 1.HOPE instead of desperation. 2. FAITH instead of despair. 3. COURAGE instead of fear. 4. PEACE OF MIND instead of confusion. 5. SELF -RESPECT instead of contempt. 6. SELF CONFIDENCE instead of helplessness. 7. RESPECT OF OTHERS instead of pity a...	angel123	4	426	Mar 30, 2006 by twinmom2
	UH-OH - What Am I Doing? (Preview) Oh man - it just gets worse. Of course, trying to have the courage of my convictions, I was conned back in last night. He said he's not going to go on the system looking for women anymore and proceeds to tell me all about the women that he's spoken with and how they finally admit that they are ov...	HadEnuff	6	532	Mar 30, 2006 by QOD
	My Neighbor's A Genius! (Preview) Hi all, My computer guru neighbor came over and got my computer back up for now!!!! He's really good with em! But I'm gonna start a savings for a new one anyway! This silly thing has gone down many times before and I don't trust it! So thanks for all the well-wishes and prayers! Am almost afraid to use it for...	jonibaloni21	4	434	Mar 30, 2006 by DanaAngel
	I Want to STAY Strong! (Preview) Just a quick recap: We were supposed to have broken up. We live in the same duplex we own (separate sides). He has continued to request my presence and 'other things', nightly, once he is drunk. I have acquiesced. I already caught him in the act with a woman 2 weeks ago.&nbs...	HadEnuff	7	543	Mar 30, 2006 by Jerry F
	Exhausted (Preview) Thanks to my pink toenails and fingernails I got through today with my focus where it needed to be. The pink reminded me of my program. My husband woke up this morning and was very ill tempered. He was angry that he quit his job and blamed me. He said I made him quit. I want...	Powerless	7	511	Mar 30, 2006 by Jerry F
	New Here - Not sure how to help family member, need advice (Preview) Hi there, my husband’s father is a self-admitted alcoholic and I am not sure what I can do to help him, or to help my husband for that matter and I am looking for some advice. What’s happened is the father had gone into detox about a year ago and was doing alright – he was still drinking about 3 bee...	Cinnamonwdh	9	359	Mar 30, 2006 by abbyal
	Still wants me to stay? (Preview) My husband came home last night and we had a very civil conversation. He said he would still like me to stay. ( With a beer in his hand) How romantic? It went well, still using same lawyer, divided some property. He still upset over bills, he doesn't talk to me about them, he jus...	jrtjosey	10	396	Mar 29, 2006 by david62
	Something I thought worth Sharing (Preview) I read this little blurb in the newspaper today (of all places to find hope lol) and thought it was worth sharing: "After the darkness comes the light. It is a law. And thus, as night comes, the moon rises. At dawn, daylight returns. In the evening, the sky explodes. Each brightness offers hope un...	txmom	7	442	Mar 29, 2006 by david62
	going away (Preview) Next weekend I am going away with some program friends. My husband and I are getting along great so now I am having a hard time getting myself to go. I have all ready paid my money. I know that I am going to have a wonderful time once get past this unknown stuff going through my head. Once I am in the car I will...	nycbt	8	431	Mar 29, 2006 by Jeannie
	Does this qualify for meditation? (Preview) I played a Guns-n-Roses cd so loud on my way to work that when I stopped at red lights people were staring at me. I feel totally relaxed...	rtexas	8	508	Mar 29, 2006 by Powerless
	Toolbox/Minute by Minute (Preview) Good afternoon, all. I was sitting here thinking about when I go home later. (Work is such a refuge for me!) I'd really like to hear about some of the tools that we can use on a minute by minute basis when our A is acting out. Just to get through the moment. My main thing right now is again with my son. He st...	kspear	5	271	Mar 29, 2006 by Powerless
	devil to saint? (Preview) I got a very polite email from my A today asking if the kids had anything tonight or if we could talk. I thought he meant continue dicussioins on division of property. I replied that would be fine. He comes home at lunch and says "'we can work this out". I said very calmly, like w...	jrtjosey	5	426	Mar 29, 2006 by drucilla06
	compassion versus anger for the A (Preview) The A is my son. I can have compassion for my child. I understand the disease alot more now that I have been reading all of your posts for several months. My father was an A. I never had any compassion for him until I knew more about the disease. There are alot of "isms" in my family. I can have compassion beca...	Gailey	4	541	Mar 29, 2006 by peewee
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The material presented here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method to exchange information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal level.