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Wavering on Leaving
(Preview)
After 3 years in AlAnon, you'd think by now the amazement would wear off of how meetings seem to be "just what I need to hear", and now after spending the morning on the message board, "just what I needed to read."
My AH crossed what I thought was the final line last week. In an alcoholic rag...
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TXSusan
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6
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362
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Is there anyone here with a happy ending?
(Preview)
I do not in anyway mean to ask that with any sarcasm!!! I just wanted to say that first:) I've only just recently discovered this wonderful board, so naturally I don't know everyone's story. As far as I can see though, I've read none that have happy endings with their A. Please please feel free to c...
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BnA2006
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19
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589
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HOw to Stop
(Preview)
I am having difficulties with my distorted thinking. It's getting in the way and I find myself consumed with negative thoughts about my Sober "A". I want it to stop but I don't know how to stop it. When I feel this mood coming on I read my litature, talk to an alanon member, my counselor. I meditate, say my s...
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albertarose
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7
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437
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How did I get here?
(Preview)
I'm new to this board but have spent the whole day and night reading everything that I can possibly find on the subject of a being a partner of a AH.
I'm going to my first al-anon meeting on thursday night as I realise that enough is enough and I really must get support for myself before I end up having a bre...
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bear
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12
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472
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the chaotic brain
(Preview)
My husband said to me today: IS there ever a day when he (our son) doesn't have some trauma or drama going on?.....my response was, of course, NO. He leans toward chaos in his life; whether the situation is trivial or huge, all the same. It tires us out so much. I have been thinking the last hour or so...
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omajoy
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1
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225
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I find a common thread here on MIP.
(Preview)
I do not fit that mold, and so it causes me to wonder why the vast majority of people here take life's little bumps to the extreme. Each of us has a BIG bump to deal with, but that should not close our eyes to the fact that we should choose our battles carefully, and think of the consequences before we jump hea...
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Diva
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8
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349
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It's all good :)
(Preview)
OK, so we didn't quite skirt the storm unscathed. Son got in an accident this afternoon. He's fine but his little red car isn't, but it's drivable, just pretty caved in..lol. It's still pretty treacherous out there.
Let's see, in one week..son chopped finger with axe, worst ice storm in 30 yrs. son w...
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Christy
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12
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532
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tired of feeling guilt / approval seeking
(Preview)
My A makes me feel guilty so much. Guilts me into not calling my own mom cause mom hurt me growing up. the harrassess me after i call. liike saying i said things i shouldnt have. which isnt true
then turns around and checks to see when i called hher on the phone bill that i pay. .
Im tired o...
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purplebutterfly
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1
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237
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ITS ALRIGHT TO ASK FOR HELP
(Preview)
((((((((((((((ROOMIES)))))))))))))
I recently suffered a bout of depression, I was off my work for nine weeks. I was given anti-depressants from my doctor. I took them for a few weeks. But I deceided, the last time I had them I was on them for three years. So, I could fight back without them.
I grad...
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ally
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2
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390
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Seeing things from their point of view
(Preview)
Last night I watched a documentary about the Heavy Metal Band Metallica - it documented the band trying to stay together and put out a new album while their frontman went into rehab for alcohol and 'other unamed' addictions, mainly alcohol. I was actually really touched seeing the transforma...
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mama_nz
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0
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278
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Do"A's" have extra sensory perception?????
(Preview)
Seriously..............I wonder about this????? Why is it I have changed my mobile(cell)phone number..............changed my email address..............got a house phone showing caller ID( Usefull,except where caller ID is withheld,or is international call)........why Is it that when...
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chris52
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6
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380
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Business Meeting Wedsnesday Debember 6th Agenda
(Preview)
Agenda for Wednesday December 6th 2006 Group Business Meeting at 7pm est
New comers MEeting update
Schedule
New Business
Time change Sunday Meeting For group Business meeting
New Mirc Chair/ Op Friendly
Step Tradition Meeting Rotation
Disucussion of New chairpersons to b...
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kerry5
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0
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229
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How Hard can an Addict Hit????
(Preview)
Hello ((((((((((friends))))))))),
Just sitting here thinking about things, and wondering how hard can an Addict hit his Bottom.....hub really took a turn for the worse....he stole his dads credit cards and went on a 3 day binge.....now he is homeless....no vehicle....no money....no resou...
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Andrea12
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20
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626
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A strange thing happened at the Alanon meeting....
(Preview)
I was at my f2f last night and at the closing we all hold hands and do the lords prayer so the math guy who has been tutoring me is on my right. about 1/4 thru the prayer he is stroking the inide of my palm and I FREAK OUT!! Internally of course. He is old enough to be my father and it felt to me...
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carolinagirl
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6
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343
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HUGE FOR ME
(Preview)
Hello Friends,
I have come much farther in my recovery than I even imagined.....I had a huge reality check yesterday....and I took the right path for me....
Well hub hit and he hit hard.....thought he could walk right back in this house because he had no where else to go....he was strung out, n...
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Andrea12
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15
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494
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Advice, please....
(Preview)
Hey There -
Well it seems that my 'A' has made his choice... alcohol... he has not been home for 3 days. Though, I must admit it has been a lot quieter in the house these days. Though it still hurts... I am trying to only deal with my side of the street and continue to live my life as nothing is w...
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Messy
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8
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493
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Time of year to truly embrace "Step One"
(Preview)
It is the time of year, where most people are under stress and obligation to get things done before the holidays, but toss your emotions while dealing with active alcoholism, and all of it can become totally overwhelming for us. Each of us who come to this site have been devastaed by someone else...
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gardengal
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2
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369
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What is my part in it?
(Preview)
Sometimes I hear this and I feel very angry. My father was a violent alcoholic. He had a very sadistic side to him. He would think it was funny when he would grab my legs and hold me under water then let me come up gasping and crying. What was my part in this? Not a damn thing. He was cruel and still is. I know he i...
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kissers
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12
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443
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A little ahead of the game this time.
(Preview)
I have posted before about my younger son (age 30) having a drinking problem. I don't want to label him as an A but I would say it is a problem.
He is one that will drink on a Friday night and want to continue on when he wakes up on Saturday. By Sunday and probably thru at least Tuesday he feels like crap and...
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Gailey
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1
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361
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Love in pain
(Preview)
My mother has been an alcholic... forever..
yet it only started 3 years ago when she began again
now she is so far down
she will clean up for 2 weeks.. then binge... drinking 20 in a night.. passing out.. but not until she become so mean...
last night when i was out there she threatened to kill hers...
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Summer
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4
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299
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how can i
(Preview)
Hi all
i am a alcoholic i been sober almost 17 years on 26 of this month
i am riding a women to AA meeting,and i feel all she want is thing
i dont know how to stop riding her how do you do it when you dont want
to hurt there feeling,well i hope some one here has a ideal how to do this
and i got two weeks here...
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marty
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2
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313
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I need HELP, please !!
(Preview)
I havent posted in awhile I have been reading a lot of posts but for some reason haven't posted. Now, I really need some guidance, support and just to write down my thoughts...
I kicked my husband out in September. He was drinking a lot and going out until all hours of the night with his buddies. I...
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Tammy
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8
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413
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They are lost...!!!
(Preview)
(((My friends)))
I had an AHA moment that made me feel better today, and wanted to share with you all. My AH has been sober for a little over 30 days now, and it is better. He is feeling better, going to meetings, and really trying. It is hard to get my hopes up, but I am being wary.&nbs...
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hersh
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9
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452
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do you ever feel you are in "it" alone?
(Preview)
These are just my feelings and "feelings aren't facts"
My Alanon Alter Ego is talking to Maria
But I guess today is the day that I feel like I'm in "it" alone. What is it? Well do you ever feel like it's always you making the phone calls to say hello? Do you ever feel like it's only you who remembers s...
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Maria123
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14
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4111
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1200 miles apart doesn't help one bit
(Preview)
My A son in Florida keeps calling, crying and begging me to front a ticket home for him. I have stood firm and said when I sell his car, which is advertised, I will get him a ticket, not before. He cries and says i have picked the wrong time to take a stand.
He makes me angry, sad, hopeless, una...
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laurab
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6
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384
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Rita.... Did you get a great big package delivered today?
(Preview)
Dear Rita,
I am just mortified that it has taken over a year to get your home back together. Are they coming this week to get it going? You are such a good Mom and an inspiration here. My hope is they come through so you can enjoy your Christmas holidays in your new home.
My prayers a...
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rtexas
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1
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247
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Bittersweet weekend...
(Preview)
((((Everyone))))
Hope everyone is doing well. I haven't been able to post much. This is a very busy time of year for me at work so I have been replying a little when I have a chance and reading when I get a spare moment.
I seem to be in kind of an emotional "never-never land". Its a pl...
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rtexas
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3
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242
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New to the Forum
(Preview)
I read a few topics on the message board before I decided to join. I went to my first Ala-non metting 2 nights ago. I have reached my bottom, for a year now I have been frustrated by the actions of my alcaholic but now I am ashamed of my own actions. I found myself sinking to his level and playing his games. I do...
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kiwigrl
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12
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618
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ignorance is bliss...
(Preview)
.....seems like it sometimes. On the one hand, I was relieved when I first began to learn about alcoholism and it's effect on everyone involved. I was forever saying "Okay, I see now!" "Ah Ha! That explains it!" and stuff along those lines. Burdens were lifted. Then I go back into a slump like tod...
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jaja
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4
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322
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I always thought it was me!
(Preview)
Every weekend my husband would be a DRAG, he wouldn't want to get up when I wanted him to, he wouldn't want to go do anything with the family he was ALWAYS "resting". He was grumpy and mean and nasty to everyone on his time off and I was always resentful that he wouldn't get up and be part of the family....
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carolinagirl
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1
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325
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Am I crazy or what?
(Preview)
Hello All,
I havent posted in awhile, but still read on here alot... it still helps to know there are others here living the same kind of life and wishing it was better. LOL
Well, hubby is gone again...like thats a big surprise, but what does s...
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acjmom
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2
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295
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Just wondering
(Preview)
Hello All,
I have been doing alot of reading on here and alot of thinking and am wondering if an A can just not see what they are giving up..or do they just really not care?Time and time again on here I read that alls a non A wants is for their A to love them as much as they love thei...
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acjmom
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2
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257
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Holidays Cards for MIP family
(Preview)
((((((((John)))))),
Has there been a decision made about sending the holidays cards to the recovery house yet? Or is that part of the next business meeting this month! I'm still game for sending them out if anyone else is. Fingers crossed we'll be able to do it again, it was such fun! Ga...
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Karilynn
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4
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302
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Struggling with the guilt
(Preview)
Hello again (((((((((((((((((wonderful people)))))))))))))))) Am so sorry it's been so long since I last posted. No puter and lousy internet access means I still get to read some posts but not a lot of time left to respond(Connection is very slow) even less to actually post. I did try a few times and t...
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chris52
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7
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382
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THANKS TO EVERYONE
(Preview)
(((((((((((((((((Rommies)))))))))))))))))
Well I have been In Op Status for a few days now. I would just like to say,a Big THANK YOU,to you all. For welcoming me, and being patient with me.
I chaired my first meeting and I was nervous, but also excited. I am talking the OP status as an honour, and I...
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ally
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1
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245
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How many here were alcohol exposed pre-natally?
(Preview)
Surely lots and lots of alcoholic women keep right on drinking, pregnant or not.
I know I was.
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HereIam
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0
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210
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hey
(Preview)
hey all. i can't remember if i told you but i'm back at school so it means im a little less available but if anyone needs me or needs to talk or vent or anything im here.
Lanchas
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Lanchas
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0
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194
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How can I help my Sister?
(Preview)
I'll try to be very brief, I'm a 62 yr old woman, daughter of an alcoholic Father now deceased, sister to an alcoholic sister and brother. They both stopped drinking for several years but are both drinking again. My sister especially is a hard case, she drinks straight from the bot...
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Anonfornow
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3
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369
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HP Opens Another Door!!!
(Preview)
Ok....everyone...(oh, by the way hello!!!)<LOL> I've been dying to get on this computer to tell ya's that the "stuff hit the fan" last night (understatement of course)!! hee hee...And you will have to be as proud of me as I am...not trying to b conceited here either, ok? My AH had got to the poin h...
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afmom03
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1
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285
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Learning The Hard Way/grrrrrr!
(Preview)
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afmom03
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5
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362
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Please help me do right!!!!!!!!!
(Preview)
I am slowly feeling weaker and dropping down into despair. My A son started his new life in Florida just 13 days ago. 2 days ago he called to say he wanted to come home. I offered nothing. Today he called after a 2 day binge, sick and shaking and kind of crying saying it's toxic there and he must come ho...
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laurab
|
11
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504
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And the spinning begins again....
(Preview)
Hi All--So, in my head again, really bad place to be, don't need any of you to tell me that, know that one by heart. Yesterday, got the tuition bill from the university, and my first reaction was yeah, okay, whatever. All the paper work is in order. And then it occured to me: Oh, fantastic. I have to g...
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Tiger2006
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5
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404
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Another storm
(Preview)
((((((((Family)))))))),
Another storm is working its way across the country. I'm in NY and we are predicting high winds (up to 50 mph) and up tp 2" of rain this afternoon. Right now it is 65 degrees and some dandelions have sprouted! Schools have dismissed early because of the c...
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Karilynn
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7
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299
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BIG OOPS!! P.S.
(Preview)
I reread my post guys. I meant I would go back and do the same thing, marry him and go thru it all!!! NOOOOOO I will NEVER be with this stranger, never. He is NOT who I married.
I read that and wanted to barf!!
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debilyn
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2
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308
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next chapter in Joe drinks & Mom stays strong
(Preview)
Today he called from Florida to say his separated from wife was arrested Wednesday night when the police raided her on and off boyfriend's house with warrent because they suspected he deals coccaine. They found 200 bags of heroin and other stuff. She was charged with a 5th degree felony and bailed out...
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laurab
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2
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401
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Different ways of setting limits
(Preview)
I used to try to set limits with the A by screaming, going on and on about things and talking endlessly about what I would not do. Then I would inevitably renege and do it anyways. I would be rewarded for 10 minutes by his affection and appreciation then he would be right back to normal.
T...
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maresie2
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6
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352
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When are disagreements healthy and when are they part of the disease?
(Preview)
I'm having a hard time discerning this on. In healthy relationships, we have disagreements with others. We get hurt by what someone says or an action they may take. We may have a conflict. It is our responsibility to tell that person how we feel, isn't it? If the relat...
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twinkie
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5
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373
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Resentment
(Preview)
Lately I've been feeling a lot of resentment and anger towards my A. Last weekend I reluctantly agreed to go to a visit with her for the good of my child. However, I could not look my A in the eye and just felt mad the whole time I was there. She asked if we could hug and I tried to be polite and said "no thank you"...
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Mom2EB
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5
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416
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Great analogy of how the A disease pulls us down.
(Preview)
My daughter read me this and it was an omg moment. This is so profound to me, so true.
I almost have all of A's stuff gone. My son came over and scoped out the tools.... I knew tha that was that... haha but that way he did not freak too much when I asked him and his friend to get my hay and grain to the barn! smile...
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debilyn
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6
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417
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Pushed to the edge
(Preview)
Today I ended up calling the police on my ex.
And it wasn't even to do with drinking. Though it may be related. Since the most recent 'lapse' I have started to take more of a stand against my ex partner (and A) and put more boundaries in place.
I said to him I'm not going to tel...
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mama_nz
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2
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318
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For my friends that knew Gracie (fatgirl)
(Preview)
(((friends)))
Over the years in chat I've mentioned my "fatgirl" and shared pictures with my friends of my old sweet dog.
Sadly, I had to put her down today. She was my constant companion through the years when my A lived on a bar stool. I'm not looking for pity by posting, but more to acknowledge h...
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Christy
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21
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571
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Taking Frustrations out on Kids...Advice? Experience?
(Preview)
I work 4 days a week and every day that I am at work my kids are home alone for about 2 1/2 hours destroying my house. Every night when I get home I am yelling at them because I am so angry that my house is dirty and sometimes when they try to clean it's still never enough. I spend EVERY weekend clea...
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carolinagirl
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25
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724
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Filled with Joy & Sadness
(Preview)
Good Afternoon my MIP Family,
I have been out of touch for a few days - I've missed all of you.
Can you be filled with Joy & Sadness at the same time? I can. I am.
They confirmed that Monday 12/4 our new home will finally be delivered. 15 months after Hurricane Rita dam...
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Rita G
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5
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442
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I just need someone to say "I understand... it will be okay"
(Preview)
Its just been one of those weeks/ months! I feel as though i'm slowly going insane. I see from these boards that i'm lucky that my A is sober (for now) and in recovery. He's actually doing wonderful! I should be in a state of peace right now, knowing he's okay, and he's working his a$$ off to be well and take c...
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BnA2006
|
17
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1111
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How does one deal with something when you dont know what that "something" is?
(Preview)
Lately I have been struggling with 'something" ,,,,feeling blagh, feeling desparate, feeling lonely altho my family and friends surround me. I cannot pinpoint what the issue is that I should feel this way! I cannot understand why I have to pretend to be happy when I am with them while feeling out of so...
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gardengal
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7
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401
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14 yr old grandaughter
(Preview)
Hi all,
Thank you for those of you who responded to my post earlier.
Since then, after much thought and prayer, I have taken my grandaughter to live here with me, hubby and other grandaughter. I don't know how things got so bad between her and her mother (my daughter) but they have.&nb...
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irish54
|
8
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536
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|
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Chores
(Preview)
O.k. for the past couple of days we have been posting about frustrations with children and taking anger out on them, and not having clean houses. Well so past couple of nights I have been trying to work one on one with my children in a chore--I tend to expect them to clean or put away whatever I want t...
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hudsond
|
7
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261
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|
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My Insanity
(Preview)
You know when I first came into the rooms of Alanon a couple of years ago I was one of those that didn't think I had a problem. I didn't think I was the crazy one. My husband was the one who had the problem. In fact, If I were honest with myself, I still could not see how crazy I was until just...
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FairyTales
|
5
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268
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martyrdom
(Preview)
This past Wednesday at the online evening meeting the topic was Martyrdom and humility. I found some of the shares life changing. Of course I have been aware that martyrdom was a huge part in my relationship with the A. I also felt set up in it. And I am only beginning to se...
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maresie2
|
1
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294
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Interesting work development
(Preview)
Sometimes our experiences in living around addiction can be helpful to us in places where we don't necessarily expect it..... I am a manager of a large workforce, and we would certainly have our share of addicts, alcoholics, etc., among the group..... One of the employees almost lost h...
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canadianguy
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3
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381
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