Al-Anon Family Group - Al-Anon Family Group

jdansmom · jdansmom

I've been trying to work through the Dave Ramsey Total Money Makeover Plan and I posted this to their forum tonight -- thought ya'll would have good insight too -- them from a money perspective and ya'll from an al-anon/aa perspective... Thanks... Well it's been Murph...

Rita G · Rita G

We had a post last week that talked about advice, I said I prefer to say "suggestions". I found this card at an Area Assembly that I went to a few months ago. It is CAL (Conference Approved Literature) for Alateen, but I found that it really applied to me even though I am way older than a teenag...

debilyn · debilyn

Ok this is weird. All the animals go nuts in the morning when I trudge thru the 3 feet of mud and 3 miles to my barn...NO I am not exagerating. well maybe a little. (c: First i feed the horses. Then the goats and llamas, then I am in the walkway in the barn on the other side is Fan...

kissers · kissers

I haven't spoken to my ex for a year. I moved and he had no idea of my whereabouts. He is friends with the police departments, Homeland Security, NSA, etc. He has many, many connections. I thought he was gone until last night. A long time ago he gave me a cell phone and when I severed contact with him h...

david62 · david62

Hi ((((Family))) I got one of those "junk" mail adds from MSN today and the title of it, "Does Your Date Drink too Much?", caught my eye....so I read it. I was surprised! It actually had some really great advice on how to deal with another person's drinking "problem" and even mentions AA and Alanon. Just...

Cindy · Cindy

Good morning. This is my first post on this site. I have been out of touch with Al Anon for years, but find myself in the place of needing a safe place again. I am feeling very out of control and am having difficulty dealing with my daughter, and I question h...

Messy · Messy

Well... I have had some GREAT couple days. Though, I am afraid as soon as I say it, write it... whatever... that things will turn sour again. My 'A' has come to grips with the fact that at this point in our relationship he can not move back into the house until he makes some major change...

maresie2 · maresie2

As many of you know I had really big issues this year because the a's mother (who is 71) married some man she knew from high school. She had met him at a high school reunion and they married literally within weeks of the reunion. The A's mother went from a widow (who never dated anyone) to...

twinkie · twinkie

I am really greiving today. I thought everything was going OK, that my A was sincere and was working his program or had the desire to. I told him what I needed but I know that didn't necessarily mean that was what he needed or desired. He just told me the other night that he didn't want t...

kerry5 · kerry5

Hi Everyone, In the slight change you wonder where i have been and not in the room so much. I want you to know that i am not leaving alanon. There are some things i need to work on for myself and need a little distance to do it. It is time for me to really get into recovery something i have never done....

acjmom · acjmom

I have read a little bit about this med but am wondering if any of you have ever been around someone taking it...does it work, what happens, how long are they on it, how much does it cost...is it worth it? Are there other meds that will help an A with withdraw? Rhonda

carosie · carosie

(((roomies)))) So much has happened since my last post. Some of you may have noticed I haven't been online for awhile. Hubby was in the hospital. He picked up an intestinal flu bug and was vomitting so forcefully that it caused a varcose vein in his esophagus(a result of drinking) to rupture. You don...

CJ · CJ

We found out my wife left rehab after 1 day. She was given an Alcohol Assessment and found not to be an alcoholic. Her mother called the facility when she found this out (2 weeks later), and asked them if they knew Alicia was a psychology major and that she had been given assessments in the...

alora_red · alora_red

I will try to be as quick as I can with this..... Last Week - AH took off on a Wednesday from work to get drunk and high on crack (unusual because payday is Friday, but he asked his boss for it early). Called at 11:30pm as usual to say he wants to come (Usually I yell a little and let him come home). This...

alora_red · alora_red

Can you buy Alanon books at a regular bookstore? I was wondering if any of you had some good Alanon books you could reccomend for a beginner. I plan to go later this week a purchase a couple, but since I don't really know what the best ones are I thought I would ask here :) Thanks A Bunch

maresie2 · maresie2

Today is the 5 year anniversary of when my mother died very suddenly. The A at that time was totally not there for me on any level. I did not have the space then to acknowledge it. That's pretty key for him not to be able to be "there" on any level at key events. When I've been s...

Becky1 · Becky1

I am working the alanon stuff, coming here, going to chat. Taking care of myself. Detaching from my AH. But I am lonely as hell. I am busy with friends, my daughter, my house, my craft projects, Christmas baking, wrapping, making, buying. I am just so overwhelmed by grief toda...

Andrea12 · Andrea12

(((((((((friends))))))), Today my mind is doing a battle, trust me I am trying my very best to let go an let God...not always the easiest thing to do.....Chuck entered a long term rehab program, he called yesterday going thru 3 phases of rehab....I think that is a good thing for him, can only pray h...

barisax · barisax

Having played this game from almost every field position from behind home to left field, not to mention watched it from the dugout, the bleachers, and on TV... all I can say is, it's just as difficult to love a recovering A as it is to love an active one. Maybe more so. Why? For one thing, drinking is ju...

ollie · ollie

Hi folks, Well A has just spent a week with me,salvation army centre found him a flat,but due to heating problems ,bed etc he asked could he stay here,i told him yes but no drinking ,this was my only boundry. H e was back two days and the whole senario started...

doxie · doxie

Just wanted to pop in and say HI! to everyone and Merry Christmas. I wanted to let you know that I am swamped right now with school and planning to move and my job. But that I am ok. I will have more time to be here after the 18th which is the Holiday Break. I am planning on moving the week between Christmas...

Tiger2006 · Tiger2006

From today's Language of Letting Go: Letting Go of Shame Many of us were victimized, sometimes more than once. We may have been physically abused, sexually abused, or exploited by the addictions of another. Understand that if another person has abused us, it is not cause for us to feel shame. T...

sharky · sharky

Hi, I've been lurking on this board for about a week or two, and I think this is the place for me. My husband is an A, and I just threw him out of the house today. I'm not sure if it's permanent or temporary, but I'm pretty sure I did the right thing. I'm finally starting to do what's right for me and our...

bev · bev

hi family,i havent posted in awhile,but i have a question,how do i know if my hp is listening to my prayers, alot of you know of what i am dealing with,my AH drinking is getting worse,he drinks whenever he is off work,and when he is drinking he gets very nasty,and mean he yells at my 16 month old granddau...

acjmom · acjmom

I DID IT...I DID IT!!!! I paid the rent AND elect. bill all by myself!!!! LOL That might not seem like such a big deal to some of you...but the money was one of the biggest reasons I stayed with my A so long, I was so scared I wouldnt be able to do it by myself....didnt trust myself to be a gr...

gardengal · gardengal

It has taken me a very long time, to detach, and start taking care of myself. As we all know being taken care of, by someone else is out of the question. By doing simple things such as even showering regularly became a chore in itself, but you would make sure your children and everyone else were taken care o...

afmom03 · afmom03

   Well....those

meagain · meagain

I have not been on this site for a long time. It is so good to be back. I have a son that will be 32 in June and I think he has a problem with booze. I don't think-I know! the other morning he called me by mistake at 4.30am. I was so scared to pick up the phone-maybe a terrible accident--he was soooo sorry he called...

afmom03 · afmom03

Hi my firends!! Oh boy! This one is really going to get some people fired up! <LOL> That didn't sound good...but it's the best way I could think to write it right now. My A' fell asleep AGAIN last night with a cigarette in bed!! I have been on the couch since Thanksgiving. Well...my A's got a f...

hudsond · hudsond

I have been feeling very "off kilter" lately! Depressed, but not sure why!! There are so many things in my life that haven't gone as I thought they would--life never does, does it?? Things right now are pretty good, but I seem to be having a hard time with that!!! My AH has been sobe...

alora_red · alora_red

I have yet to make it to a f2f meeting. I was hoping to go to one this morning but I have other obligations I can't get out of, so I will have to wait until next week. I have been reading alot of the posts here on the board, and I have to admit I find some the alanon suggestions difficult.....such as detaching...

barisax · barisax

I thought I'd make this a separate post... I alluded to playing many positions with regard to alcoholism. It's time I qualify myself a bit here. Alcoholics in my life: 1. Father (deceased) 2. Uncle (sober) 3. Mother in law (deceased) 4. Sister in law (status unknown) 5. Another sister in law (on disabi...

afmom03 · afmom03

Well...good-early morning friends!!! It is after 2am, I'm on the computer instead of sleeping and I'm suppose to wake at 5am. Not so this morning. I have to type very quietly because my A' is in the bedroom awake, and I'm just down the hall from him in our computer room. I am going to do something later thi...

sisdragonfly1957 · sisdragonfly1957

I have decided to quit my part time job. I work as a bartender two nights a week. Use to work there full time for about five years. Been back about a year now. But I hate it. Have learned so much about ism that it turns my stomach to look at these people in the bar. Same ole people, same ole problems, same ole dru...

debilyn · debilyn

I don't use the word "should." To me it is trying to control someone, which never works. If I want to say something, I might say, "I would invite you to maybe try..." My experience is.... Have you tried...... I respect you Carol, however I feel MIP has taught me more about alanon that anything el...

carolinagirl · carolinagirl

My A called today after a week of no communication so I told him the house was closing today. He wanted to know if he could come stay for a couple of days for his son's birthday. I said I didn't want him staying. In reality I don't want him to come at all. I really would prefer not to...

HadEnuff · HadEnuff

This is a huge issue for me and I'm wondering how others deal with it. I've told him many times that I'm not interested in sex when he's drinking and so therefore, it's not a common occurance, because the only time he seems to really want it is during his drinking hours. He totally doesn't ge...

JillyJo · JillyJo

I'm married to an A for many years and he is now sober for about 9 years. I went to Al Anon meetings for years before he sobered up and continue to go now and then but not as much as I used to. Although he has been sober for many years, he basically acts out the same way he did before he sobere...

carolinagirl · carolinagirl

I have been thinking, I believe that what I have thought to be love is actually obsession. Now that my obsession is away from me and on the streets I feel a little sorry for him but..... Now I think how can I "LOVE" him and yet not feel so bad that he's in this position? I am starting to wonder n...

twinkie · twinkie

I have been thinking very rigidly lately - black and white - stay or go? I'm learning and trying to figure out what my needs are and what is acceptable behavior (boundaries) and be true to myself. I've been reading alot of co-dependency - I fit every category - I am in Al...

carolinagirl · carolinagirl

Every time I talk to him I feel angry and mean. Why do I feel like just saying what he doesn't want to hear is being mean? I said a lot of things that are true, that are hurtful that i know he doesn't want to hear. It doesn't make me feel better to say them, it makes me feel bad but he is delusi...

maresie2 · maresie2

I am pretty focused on the beginning of the year right now because as you all know I am not much looking forward to Christmas. I am also trying to start each day over with a new determination and new actions. Today I have another interview. I will have three interviews thi...

Diva · Diva

Every day someone says, "We don't give advice here." Hmmmm... what about the AlAnon approved advice. Every day someone says, 1. Find an f2f meeting. 2. Take care of you. 3. Let him/her hit bottom. 4. Do not enable him/her. If this isn't advice, I don't know what is. Call it by some othe...

ernie · ernie

I am wondering if there is anyone on here that has had to deal with thier A finding soberity thru AA and who had an affair with another AAer?. I am struggling so much with the conflict between what working a 12 step program means (ie letting him work his program and have secrets) vs recovering and tr...

jaja · jaja

I've

nmike · nmike

Why do they call to tell you that they are going golfing in Las Vegas with the boys? Why don't they introduce you to the boys? Are they embarassed or don't they want the boys to know that they are married? Why do they call and tell you that they are going to an annual event with a friend but this is an event that...

carolinagirl · carolinagirl

I have really been thinking hard lately about why it is that I keep picking A's and I have noticed a few things. Generally A's are intelligent, which is a draw for me. Also there is that edge of danger and excitement. They are fun in the beginning and usually great in bed. They are good at giving the appeara...

maresie2 · maresie2

Well I have 19 days to Christmas and I am feeling the familiar dread. For 6 plus years now I've let the A dominate Christmas. We once, (in the days I had money) went to a beautiful resort town (paid for by me of course) and he had to high tail it back to get loaded. Admittedly at that time I wa...

Jennifer · Jennifer

Good Morning ((Everyone)) It's a sad morning for me and my family. A few weeks ago my brother told me I was going to be an aunt, both him and his girlfriend were so excited. Not to mention the rest of us in the family, after health issues with my Dad and stepDad, and the chaos of my experiences trying to sep...

Andrea12 · Andrea12

Hello ((((((((Friends))))))))))), Life has brought me much pain and many pleasures...these things I am grateful for...however, hub is trying to find some sympathy and compassion....the truth of the matter is I have nothing left to give him...... Me and the kids have suffered so very muc...

drucilla06 · drucilla06

Hi (((((alanon friends))))) How many times have I heard in an open AA meeting those words from the promises....we will not regret the past nor wish to shut the door on it....something like that,I may not have it exactly. I understand why an A may want to shut the door on their past.The trail of devas...

Rita G · Rita G

Everybody sing - It's Brick . . . House!! (you know you can sing it - you are probably doing a few little dance moves in your chair at your computer - not to mention that song will be in your head the rest of the day!!

) Ok - Well it's not really a "brick" house, it's a double wide man...

acjmom · acjmom

Well, I went to my first f2f last night, and am thinking I dont want to go back...I went there thinking I would find..I dont know what...something...but alls I found was a bunch of bitter old birds hell bent on bashing their A's...ALL A's as a matter of fact... I wanted to scream "I KNOW what kind of...

BnA2006 · BnA2006

I'd love to read anything pertaining to my situation, and how I may better cope. What books do any of you recommend, what was one of your favorites,etc... Thank you for any suggestions. *Bna

TXSusan · TXSusan

After 3 years in AlAnon, you'd think by now the amazement would wear off of how meetings seem to be "just what I need to hear", and now after spending the morning on the message board, "just what I needed to read." My AH crossed what I thought was the final line last week. In an alcoholic rag...

BnA2006 · BnA2006

I do not in anyway mean to ask that with any sarcasm!!! I just wanted to say that first:) I've only just recently discovered this wonderful board, so naturally I don't know everyone's story. As far as I can see though, I've read none that have happy endings with their A. Please please feel free to c...

albertarose · albertarose

I am having difficulties with my distorted thinking. It's getting in the way and I find myself consumed with negative thoughts about my Sober "A". I want it to stop but I don't know how to stop it. When I feel this mood coming on I read my litature, talk to an alanon member, my counselor. I meditate, say my s...

bear · bear

I'm new to this board but have spent the whole day and night reading everything that I can possibly find on the subject of a being a partner of a AH. I'm going to my first al-anon meeting on thursday night as I realise that enough is enough and I really must get support for myself before I end up having a bre...

omajoy · omajoy

My husband said to me today: IS there ever a day when he (our son) doesn't have some trauma or drama going on?.....my response was, of course, NO. He leans toward chaos in his life; whether the situation is trivial or huge, all the same. It tires us out so much. I have been thinking the last hour or so...

Diva · Diva

I do not fit that mold, and so it causes me to wonder why the vast majority of people here take life's little bumps to the extreme. Each of us has a BIG bump to deal with, but that should not close our eyes to the fact that we should choose our battles carefully, and think of the consequences before we jump hea...

Topic		Started By	Replies	Views	Last Post
	To Enable or Not to Enable... (Preview) I've been trying to work through the Dave Ramsey Total Money Makeover Plan and I posted this to their forum tonight -- thought ya'll would have good insight too -- them from a money perspective and ya'll from an al-anon/aa perspective... Thanks... Well it's been Murph...	jdansmom	4	576	Dec 12, 2006 by debilyn
	Alateen Do's & Don'ts (Preview) We had a post last week that talked about advice, I said I prefer to say "suggestions". I found this card at an Area Assembly that I went to a few months ago. It is CAL (Conference Approved Literature) for Alateen, but I found that it really applied to me even though I am way older than a teenag...	Rita G	3	3615	Dec 12, 2006 by ZiggyDoodles
	For peoples who like my true Eden stories.... (Preview) Ok this is weird. All the animals go nuts in the morning when I trudge thru the 3 feet of mud and 3 miles to my barn...NO I am not exagerating. well maybe a little. (c: First i feed the horses. Then the goats and llamas, then I am in the walkway in the barn on the other side is Fan...	debilyn	7	336	Dec 12, 2006 by ZiggyDoodles
	my ex is stalking me (Preview) I haven't spoken to my ex for a year. I moved and he had no idea of my whereabouts. He is friends with the police departments, Homeland Security, NSA, etc. He has many, many connections. I thought he was gone until last night. A long time ago he gave me a cell phone and when I severed contact with him h...	kissers	7	531	Dec 11, 2006 by Jill
	Does Your Date Drink Too Much? (Preview) Hi ((((Family))) I got one of those "junk" mail adds from MSN today and the title of it, "Does Your Date Drink too Much?", caught my eye....so I read it. I was surprised! It actually had some really great advice on how to deal with another person's drinking "problem" and even mentions AA and Alanon. Just...	david62	0	327	Dec 11, 2006 by david62
	20 year old daughter acting out (Preview) Good morning. This is my first post on this site. I have been out of touch with Al Anon for years, but find myself in the place of needing a safe place again. I am feeling very out of control and am having difficulty dealing with my daughter, and I question h...	Cindy	10	591	Dec 11, 2006 by Cindy
	A Good thing... I hope (Preview) Well... I have had some GREAT couple days. Though, I am afraid as soon as I say it, write it... whatever... that things will turn sour again. My 'A' has come to grips with the fact that at this point in our relationship he can not move back into the house until he makes some major change...	Messy	1	336	Dec 11, 2006 by CJ
	The A's mother (Preview) As many of you know I had really big issues this year because the a's mother (who is 71) married some man she knew from high school. She had met him at a high school reunion and they married literally within weeks of the reunion. The A's mother went from a widow (who never dated anyone) to...	maresie2	1	408	Dec 11, 2006 by hudsond
	I need some help today... (Preview) I am really greiving today. I thought everything was going OK, that my A was sincere and was working his program or had the desire to. I told him what I needed but I know that didn't necessarily mean that was what he needed or desired. He just told me the other night that he didn't want t...	twinkie	6	376	Dec 11, 2006 by twinmom2
	Not leaving (Preview) Hi Everyone, In the slight change you wonder where i have been and not in the room so much. I want you to know that i am not leaving alanon. There are some things i need to work on for myself and need a little distance to do it. It is time for me to really get into recovery something i have never done....	kerry5	9	493	Dec 11, 2006 by carosie
	Question about Antabuse (Preview) I have read a little bit about this med but am wondering if any of you have ever been around someone taking it...does it work, what happens, how long are they on it, how much does it cost...is it worth it? Are there other meds that will help an A with withdraw? Rhonda	acjmom	5	619	Dec 11, 2006 by abbyal
	so much has happened (Preview) (((roomies)))) So much has happened since my last post. Some of you may have noticed I haven't been online for awhile. Hubby was in the hospital. He picked up an intestinal flu bug and was vomitting so forcefully that it caused a varcose vein in his esophagus(a result of drinking) to rupture. You don...	carosie	4	399	Dec 11, 2006 by Christy
	Grief, Guilt, Guile, Gall (Preview) We found out my wife left rehab after 1 day. She was given an Alcohol Assessment and found not to be an alcoholic. Her mother called the facility when she found this out (2 weeks later), and asked them if they knew Alicia was a psychology major and that she had been given assessments in the...	CJ	11	564	Dec 10, 2006 by Peggy7
	Ok, NOW I REALLY need HELP! (Preview) I will try to be as quick as I can with this..... Last Week - AH took off on a Wednesday from work to get drunk and high on crack (unusual because payday is Friday, but he asked his boss for it early). Called at 11:30pm as usual to say he wants to come (Usually I yell a little and let him come home). This...	alora_red	6	361	Dec 10, 2006 by CJ
	Alanon Book Reccomendations? (Preview) Can you buy Alanon books at a regular bookstore? I was wondering if any of you had some good Alanon books you could reccomend for a beginner. I plan to go later this week a purchase a couple, but since I don't really know what the best ones are I thought I would ask here :) Thanks A Bunch	alora_red	4	693	Dec 10, 2006 by abbyal
	5 year anniversary (Preview) Today is the 5 year anniversary of when my mother died very suddenly. The A at that time was totally not there for me on any level. I did not have the space then to acknowledge it. That's pretty key for him not to be able to be "there" on any level at key events. When I've been s...	maresie2	6	445	Dec 10, 2006 by Andrea12
	wHAT IS WRONG WITH ME (Preview) I am working the alanon stuff, coming here, going to chat. Taking care of myself. Detaching from my AH. But I am lonely as hell. I am busy with friends, my daughter, my house, my craft projects, Christmas baking, wrapping, making, buying. I am just so overwhelmed by grief toda...	Becky1	7	327	Dec 10, 2006 by Andrea12
	Today is a Struggle (Preview) (((((((((friends))))))), Today my mind is doing a battle, trust me I am trying my very best to let go an let God...not always the easiest thing to do.....Chuck entered a long term rehab program, he called yesterday going thru 3 phases of rehab....I think that is a good thing for him, can only pray h...	Andrea12	6	534	Dec 10, 2006 by drucilla06
	Loving The Recovering Alcoholic (Preview) Having played this game from almost every field position from behind home to left field, not to mention watched it from the dugout, the bleachers, and on TV... all I can say is, it's just as difficult to love a recovering A as it is to love an active one. Maybe more so. Why? For one thing, drinking is ju...	barisax	8	4233	Dec 10, 2006 by drucilla06
	TOO MUCH TO ASK I SUPPOSE (Preview) Hi folks, Well A has just spent a week with me,salvation army centre found him a flat,but due to heating problems ,bed etc he asked could he stay here,i told him yes but no drinking ,this was my only boundry. H e was back two days and the whole senario started...	ollie	4	381	Dec 10, 2006 by ollie
	A little bit gone (Preview) Just wanted to pop in and say HI! to everyone and Merry Christmas. I wanted to let you know that I am swamped right now with school and planning to move and my job. But that I am ok. I will have more time to be here after the 18th which is the Holiday Break. I am planning on moving the week between Christmas...	doxie	4	275	Dec 10, 2006 by mel123
	Letting go of (my) shame (Preview) From today's Language of Letting Go: Letting Go of Shame Many of us were victimized, sometimes more than once. We may have been physically abused, sexually abused, or exploited by the addictions of another. Understand that if another person has abused us, it is not cause for us to feel shame. T...	Tiger2006	5	395	Dec 10, 2006 by CJ
	Newbie - Intro & ? (Preview) Hi, I've been lurking on this board for about a week or two, and I think this is the place for me. My husband is an A, and I just threw him out of the house today. I'm not sure if it's permanent or temporary, but I'm pretty sure I did the right thing. I'm finally starting to do what's right for me and our...	sharky	2	361	Dec 9, 2006 by nmike
	how do i know if my hp is answering me (Preview) hi family,i havent posted in awhile,but i have a question,how do i know if my hp is listening to my prayers, alot of you know of what i am dealing with,my AH drinking is getting worse,he drinks whenever he is off work,and when he is drinking he gets very nasty,and mean he yells at my 16 month old granddau...	bev	8	443	Dec 9, 2006 by bev
	Good news and some questions (Preview) I DID IT...I DID IT!!!! I paid the rent AND elect. bill all by myself!!!! LOL That might not seem like such a big deal to some of you...but the money was one of the biggest reasons I stayed with my A so long, I was so scared I wouldnt be able to do it by myself....didnt trust myself to be a gr...	acjmom	7	348	Dec 9, 2006 by acjmom
	WHAT ARE YOU DOING TO IMPROVE YOURSELF? (Preview) It has taken me a very long time, to detach, and start taking care of myself. As we all know being taken care of, by someone else is out of the question. By doing simple things such as even showering regularly became a chore in itself, but you would make sure your children and everyone else were taken care o...	gardengal	4	535	Dec 9, 2006 by CJ
	What A Whippin'! You Were Right! GRRRR! (Preview)    Well....those	afmom03	1	406	Dec 9, 2006 by rtexas
	my son (Preview) I have not been on this site for a long time. It is so good to be back. I have a son that will be 32 in June and I think he has a problem with booze. I don't think-I know! the other morning he called me by mistake at 4.30am. I was so scared to pick up the phone-maybe a terrible accident--he was soooo sorry he called...	meagain	3	313	Dec 9, 2006 by Diva
	Now If I Only Live To Tell About It!! (Preview) Hi my firends!! Oh boy! This one is really going to get some people fired up! <LOL> That didn't sound good...but it's the best way I could think to write it right now. My A' fell asleep AGAIN last night with a cigarette in bed!! I have been on the couch since Thanksgiving. Well...my A's got a f...	afmom03	5	349	Dec 8, 2006 by megan
	Confused about where I am supposed to be--long (Preview) I have been feeling very "off kilter" lately! Depressed, but not sure why!! There are so many things in my life that haven't gone as I thought they would--life never does, does it?? Things right now are pretty good, but I seem to be having a hard time with that!!! My AH has been sobe...	hudsond	7	458	Dec 8, 2006 by Andrea12
	Need to ask some questions... (Preview) I have yet to make it to a f2f meeting. I was hoping to go to one this morning but I have other obligations I can't get out of, so I will have to wait until next week. I have been reading alot of the posts here on the board, and I have to admit I find some the alanon suggestions difficult.....such as detaching...	alora_red	8	555	Dec 8, 2006 by maresie2
	Surrounded! (Preview) I thought I'd make this a separate post... I alluded to playing many positions with regard to alcoholism. It's time I qualify myself a bit here. Alcoholics in my life: 1. Father (deceased) 2. Uncle (sober) 3. Mother in law (deceased) 4. Sister in law (status unknown) 5. Another sister in law (on disabi...	barisax	2	301	Dec 8, 2006 by just me
	To ALL Who've Read my Posts..... (Preview) Well...good-early morning friends!!! It is after 2am, I'm on the computer instead of sleeping and I'm suppose to wake at 5am. Not so this morning. I have to type very quietly because my A' is in the bedroom awake, and I'm just down the hall from him in our computer room. I am going to do something later thi...	afmom03	5	355	Dec 8, 2006 by Rita G
	Quitting my Job!! (Preview) I have decided to quit my part time job. I work as a bartender two nights a week. Use to work there full time for about five years. Been back about a year now. But I hate it. Have learned so much about ism that it turns my stomach to look at these people in the bar. Same ole people, same ole problems, same ole dru...	sisdragonfly1957	1	296	Dec 8, 2006 by maresie2
	serenity and advice (Preview) I don't use the word "should." To me it is trying to control someone, which never works. If I want to say something, I might say, "I would invite you to maybe try..." My experience is.... Have you tried...... I respect you Carol, however I feel MIP has taught me more about alanon that anything el...	debilyn	4	463	Dec 8, 2006 by debilyn
	Would like some ideas on this! (Preview) My A called today after a week of no communication so I told him the house was closing today. He wanted to know if he could come stay for a couple of days for his son's birthday. I said I didn't want him staying. In reality I don't want him to come at all. I really would prefer not to...	carolinagirl	5	423	Dec 7, 2006 by mama_nz
	What about Sex in Detaching? (Preview) This is a huge issue for me and I'm wondering how others deal with it. I've told him many times that I'm not interested in sex when he's drinking and so therefore, it's not a common occurance, because the only time he seems to really want it is during his drinking hours. He totally doesn't ge...	HadEnuff	18	1343	Dec 7, 2006 by abbyal
	alcoholism and personality types (Preview) I'm married to an A for many years and he is now sober for about 9 years. I went to Al Anon meetings for years before he sobered up and continue to go now and then but not as much as I used to. Although he has been sober for many years, he basically acts out the same way he did before he sobere...	JillyJo	15	5384	Dec 7, 2006 by snoopy
	Can someone please explain the difference between love and obsession? (Preview) I have been thinking, I believe that what I have thought to be love is actually obsession. Now that my obsession is away from me and on the streets I feel a little sorry for him but..... Now I think how can I "LOVE" him and yet not feel so bad that he's in this position? I am starting to wonder n...	carolinagirl	10	500	Dec 7, 2006 by twinkie
	Trying to make a healthy decision (Preview) I have been thinking very rigidly lately - black and white - stay or go? I'm learning and trying to figure out what my needs are and what is acceptable behavior (boundaries) and be true to myself. I've been reading alot of co-dependency - I fit every category - I am in Al...	twinkie	4	275	Dec 7, 2006 by hudsond
	He called again (Preview) Every time I talk to him I feel angry and mean. Why do I feel like just saying what he doesn't want to hear is being mean? I said a lot of things that are true, that are hurtful that i know he doesn't want to hear. It doesn't make me feel better to say them, it makes me feel bad but he is delusi...	carolinagirl	4	398	Dec 7, 2006 by twinkie
	Starting Over (Preview) I am pretty focused on the beginning of the year right now because as you all know I am not much looking forward to Christmas. I am also trying to start each day over with a new determination and new actions. Today I have another interview. I will have three interviews thi...	maresie2	2	282	Dec 7, 2006 by Karilynn
	AlAnon approved advice. (Preview) Every day someone says, "We don't give advice here." Hmmmm... what about the AlAnon approved advice. Every day someone says, 1. Find an f2f meeting. 2. Take care of you. 3. Let him/her hit bottom. 4. Do not enable him/her. If this isn't advice, I don't know what is. Call it by some othe...	Diva	14	877	Dec 7, 2006 by Diva
	an affair while in recovery (Preview) I am wondering if there is anyone on here that has had to deal with thier A finding soberity thru AA and who had an affair with another AAer?. I am struggling so much with the conflict between what working a 12 step program means (ie letting him work his program and have secrets) vs recovering and tr...	ernie	7	667	Dec 7, 2006 by maresie2
	dry drunks and what to do.. (Preview) I've	jaja	7	580	Dec 7, 2006 by snoopy
	Why do they call? (Preview) Why do they call to tell you that they are going golfing in Las Vegas with the boys? Why don't they introduce you to the boys? Are they embarassed or don't they want the boys to know that they are married? Why do they call and tell you that they are going to an annual event with a friend but this is an event that...	nmike	1	341	Dec 7, 2006 by debilyn
	Starting to figure out how I keep getting A's (Preview) I have really been thinking hard lately about why it is that I keep picking A's and I have noticed a few things. Generally A's are intelligent, which is a draw for me. Also there is that edge of danger and excitement. They are fun in the beginning and usually great in bed. They are good at giving the appeara...	carolinagirl	17	471	Dec 6, 2006 by barisax
	Having a happy Christmas no matter what (Preview) Well I have 19 days to Christmas and I am feeling the familiar dread. For 6 plus years now I've let the A dominate Christmas. We once, (in the days I had money) went to a beautiful resort town (paid for by me of course) and he had to high tail it back to get loaded. Admittedly at that time I wa...	maresie2	5	411	Dec 6, 2006 by BlueCloud
	A sad day ... ESH please (Preview) Good Morning ((Everyone)) It's a sad morning for me and my family. A few weeks ago my brother told me I was going to be an aunt, both him and his girlfriend were so excited. Not to mention the rest of us in the family, after health issues with my Dad and stepDad, and the chaos of my experiences trying to sep...	Jennifer	13	602	Dec 6, 2006 by Diva
	Being in Control (Preview) Hello ((((((((Friends))))))))))), Life has brought me much pain and many pleasures...these things I am grateful for...however, hub is trying to find some sympathy and compassion....the truth of the matter is I have nothing left to give him...... Me and the kids have suffered so very muc...	Andrea12	7	415	Dec 6, 2006 by hersh
	dealing with the past,,or shutting the door on it... (Preview) Hi (((((alanon friends))))) How many times have I heard in an open AA meeting those words from the promises....we will not regret the past nor wish to shut the door on it....something like that,I may not have it exactly. I understand why an A may want to shut the door on their past.The trail of devas...	drucilla06	4	441	Dec 6, 2006 by hersh
	It's Brick . . . House . . . (Preview) Everybody sing - It's Brick . . . House!! (you know you can sing it - you are probably doing a few little dance moves in your chair at your computer - not to mention that song will be in your head the rest of the day!! ) Ok - Well it's not really a "brick" house, it's a double wide man...	Rita G	9	465	Dec 6, 2006 by greta
	f2f (Preview) Well, I went to my first f2f last night, and am thinking I dont want to go back...I went there thinking I would find..I dont know what...something...but alls I found was a bunch of bitter old birds hell bent on bashing their A's...ALL A's as a matter of fact... I wanted to scream "I KNOW what kind of...	acjmom	2	395	Dec 6, 2006 by rtexas
	What are some of your favorite books on recovery? (Preview) I'd love to read anything pertaining to my situation, and how I may better cope. What books do any of you recommend, what was one of your favorites,etc... Thank you for any suggestions. *Bna	BnA2006	7	436	Dec 6, 2006 by BnA2006
	Wavering on Leaving (Preview) After 3 years in AlAnon, you'd think by now the amazement would wear off of how meetings seem to be "just what I need to hear", and now after spending the morning on the message board, "just what I needed to read." My AH crossed what I thought was the final line last week. In an alcoholic rag...	TXSusan	6	406	Dec 6, 2006 by hudsond
	Is there anyone here with a happy ending? (Preview) I do not in anyway mean to ask that with any sarcasm!!! I just wanted to say that first:) I've only just recently discovered this wonderful board, so naturally I don't know everyone's story. As far as I can see though, I've read none that have happy endings with their A. Please please feel free to c...	BnA2006	19	641	Dec 6, 2006 by autumn
	HOw to Stop (Preview) I am having difficulties with my distorted thinking. It's getting in the way and I find myself consumed with negative thoughts about my Sober "A". I want it to stop but I don't know how to stop it. When I feel this mood coming on I read my litature, talk to an alanon member, my counselor. I meditate, say my s...	albertarose	7	474	Dec 6, 2006 by Rita G
	How did I get here? (Preview) I'm new to this board but have spent the whole day and night reading everything that I can possibly find on the subject of a being a partner of a AH. I'm going to my first al-anon meeting on thursday night as I realise that enough is enough and I really must get support for myself before I end up having a bre...	bear	12	509	Dec 6, 2006 by lovette
	the chaotic brain (Preview) My husband said to me today: IS there ever a day when he (our son) doesn't have some trauma or drama going on?.....my response was, of course, NO. He leans toward chaos in his life; whether the situation is trivial or huge, all the same. It tires us out so much. I have been thinking the last hour or so...	omajoy	1	261	Dec 6, 2006 by Rita G
	I find a common thread here on MIP. (Preview) I do not fit that mold, and so it causes me to wonder why the vast majority of people here take life's little bumps to the extreme. Each of us has a BIG bump to deal with, but that should not close our eyes to the fact that we should choose our battles carefully, and think of the consequences before we jump hea...	Diva	8	386	Dec 6, 2006 by Diva
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The material presented here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method to exchange information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal level.