Al-Anon Family Group - Al-Anon Family Group

serendipity · serendipity

i offered my ex my car so he could go to his inservice meeting. on the way back he hit a deer. not too much damage, just cosmetic. i was so mad. it was my dad's car and i always feel like i am betraying his memory when i let my ex drive the car. i only let him take the car when it is to my benefit or the kids. so i fe...

twinmom2 · twinmom2

(((Hello MIP))) Today is one of those days for me where I can see the down spiral effects of enabling. My AH has been enabled by someone almost all of his life including me. We have sheltered him and bailed him out of problem after problem and because of that he has no real concept of the world and how it wo...

Jennifer · Jennifer

Yep I can swear like a sailor when I want to but I won't bore you with it. Or myself. My A is out of jail with a new charge .... operating a vehicle without owner's consent. But the funniest part he had consent but she is married and can't explain the whole situation to her husband. I'm accepting what that rea...

twinmom2 · twinmom2

(((Friends))) What a wicked number it does to a person when they have run out of the booze or the drugs. My AH has been home with the kids this week because he hasn't had work in two weeks. We're financially hanging on by a thread, but one alternative was to take the kids out of daycare for a week or two to...

QOD · QOD

Thank you so much Carolinagirl & Andrea12 for your replies to my LONNNGGG post yesterday. It was very encouraging. Carolinagirl - you mentioned the money thing and how he hasn't worked in 13 months. Well, he hasn't worked STEADY. He has managed to hold down a job for a month or 2 here and there. And c...

Sallen · Sallen

I just need to vent and I know....I know, get to more face to face meetings. My A is my 17 year old son and he is making me crazy. He is an alcoholic/addict and is non-compliant with his meds for his bi-polar which just makes it so much more unmanageable. He has been in outpatient treatment and in residen...

QOD · QOD

It has been a while since I have posted. Life is so busy. We finally sold our house and I bought a new one in my own name. We moved last Tuesday. Or rather should I say, the kids and I with the help of my family, moved a huge household worth of stuff. My AH was absent through most of it. No wait, that is not fai...

hudsond · hudsond

I have been thinking lately about the differences between the men's and the women's responses to their situations and in their posts/responses to others. Sometimes I get rather jealous--this may be in my head or just the way I'm seeing it, but the men seem to be so matter of fact about th...

rtexas · rtexas

(((((Everyone))))) Well as some of you know my AW and I seperated 3 months ago. I told her that I loved her, but if she was actively drinking that I could no longer live that way. The chaos that spins around her is just not healthy for me and the kids. Here is the tricky part. She has run short on money ove...

Orchid Lady · Orchid Lady

Hey ya'll, I'm stumbling around the new (to me) world of depression and anxiety and would like to know how some of you handle it. Without meds and with - how do "they" as in Doctors figure out what is right for you? Using the power of hindsight I have figured out my Mom went through ye...

kitty · kitty

I just realized a few days ago, that I have no clue how truly negative of a person I am. I'm sure I have a belief that humans are abusive, violent and critical and this shapes what happens to me. Even though I know about positive mental programming & I enjoy relationships, I am still more negat...

Tiger2006 · Tiger2006

"You're telling me that an unarmed man with one leg just robbed a bank and then wheeled over here to get a sub?" Virginia sub-shop manager Amanda Carriker, to police officers searching for a disabled man they suspected of robbing a nearby bank. The accused reportedly stopped for a san...

bubbles1990 · bubbles1990

Hey ((((((((roomies))))))) Well here i go again venting I feel kindof like a broken record but It is what is on my mind!!! My Hubbys Dad Calls him this morning like he does every Sunday morning to tell my hubby that he got his blood test results that he had taken a few weeks ago and had talked with his doc abo...

hippietrippiechick · hippietrippiechick

Well, I know that my posts are very confusing sometimes, probably because I am confused so much all the time. I think this one begins with me. I am starting to see that by not naggin about the A's drinking he has more time to think about it himself. sometimes I do slip and say things he has done that has h...

emma · emma

I had an experience at a f2f mtg that ... well ... writing a bit about it here clarified it for me. But I don't think I'll post about it. It is a bit of a gray area of whether to post or not. But as discretion is often the better part of valor, I'll just say: I hope the person will keep coming back...

mama_nz · mama_nz

So, I thought I was doing well enough to start allowing my ex (A) and father of my son back into my life a little more, he'd come over here for dinner and spend time with our son and we'd take our son out on weekends together. He says the drinking and associated bad behaviours is over. But I still d...

DT1221 · DT1221

Hello everyone. Here is a poem I wrote before al-Anon. it is dark and dismal but with your help and my own and my HP I feel I am heading for the freedom I have longed for. I just wanted to share this. To me Sunshinedt I wanted it to say that although we feel we start out in fear and pain there is freedom like the do...

kerry5 · kerry5

Hi all, Its been a tough few weeks for me. Theres something changed in me. The way i deal with things. Things do happen and i get down about it, however its just not the end of the world anymore. I dont feel so panicky now, when things are rough. Which feels very strange in new territory. I also dont stay down...

nycbt · nycbt

My husband has been clean since Friday. Before he got clean he was lying to me all the time, disappearing for an hour and a half. Then on wednesday he told me that he was doing herion, I was shocked I got my support system and turn to them. I told my husband that I wanted him to start being honest with me. We ha...

heather · heather

Hi everyone... I have been married for 4 years now and I keep asking myself can I or anyone live with an A? I know they are human beings and need love, but I am just wondering is it healthy to live with them; can I live healthy even though he isn't? I go back and forth with this question because I love my...

Christy · Christy

Below is an exerpt from a post that a person made on another forum. It is in reference to how the person reacted to someone that made them feel "less then". I thought it was an excellant reaction. Keep in mind this was not from an Alanon forum where we "seek" our part in a problem. Ok, so things didn't work ou...

jewely · jewely

the other night when i was having my moment thinking about being a snob, i was wondering around our local drug store. i picked up a shade of pink lipstick and i thought.....''why not''? i rarely, if ever wear pink. to day i looked at the label to see what that shade of pink is called, you&...

jaja · jaja

the race to see who can drink the most, I suspected. I posted here on Saturday night about how myA asked to come here and sleep on the couch after an 8 day binge with his drinking friends. I decided to say Okay and let him in after the reverend drove him over. My Ah was hungry and asked for something...

gardengal · gardengal

After years in Alanon I finally figured out how to use the tools. Something as simple as "THINK" came to mind many times during a crisis in my home. I finally made sure what came out of my mouth was something that would not antagonize the situation and keep it going. I found when the A was raging...

debilyn · debilyn

ok where and how are you??? please respond!!! love,debilyn

lilms · lilms

Ally,Thank you for your BRAVEHEARTFELTMOVING story. I have searched for a very long time for an apt description of depression.You nailed it. Thank youThis is for you, not my words but heartfeltlilms Friend Today I hear you crying and my heart bleeds in pain. I want to run to you and wrap my arms ar...

serendipity · serendipity

i grew up in an alcoholic home. i married and alcoholic/drug addict. all of my friends are either addicted, in recovery or married to an a. 2 years before my dad died he finally got an a of his own! but his a was in the program. he was there for my dad as he died, he has been there for me during that time and since...

barisax · barisax

My granddaughter is grounded again.... LOL. It's because she's becoming a teenager, and her parents are setting boundaries... consequences. I watch this in amazement. I grew up with an alcoholic father and a codependent mother. My father was not a violent person - not really even verb...

irish54 · irish54

Hi all! I have been going throgh some real trials lately and wanted to share this with y'all. ........If the problems I have to face seem beyond my endurance, I will not explain them to God. He already knows. I will not tell Him what I "expect" Him to do about my difficulties; He knows wh...

carolinagirl · carolinagirl

Hi everyone, It's been a while since I posted and just wanted to say that everything is going well. Life feels normal - as close to that as it's ever been I guess. I look forward to the weekends and never have to worry about what might happen. I still talk to my A husband and take the kids to see hi...

bev · bev

well he is back home..he only spent 3 days in detox,he says they r trying to find a rehab for him to go to..he told me he needs to do rehab cause it will look good for him in court..so he is only doing this do get out of trouble not because he has a drinking and drug problem...he wants me to help him come up with 25...

jewely · jewely

for the last day or two i have been noticing something about myself. since i don't have a sponsor [my higher power and i are working on that], i was wondering if, i can say this online...............? i have noticed that i can be a bit of a snob. the other night when i arrived at the alanon meeting, one o...

rtexas · rtexas

(((((Everyone))))) My AW asked me today, " ...how do you live with yourself when I just have to leave and go back to that apartment instead of staying here with my family..." I asked here if she means how do I feel inside about this whole situation. When she said yes... I thought about it for...

snoopy · snoopy

My A husband left me 7 months ago, and I have been suffering ever since. I still love him, but hate his behavior even tho he has been sober for 26 years, he has been a mean bastard because of being a dry drunk. He just started going to meetings the last 2 years. I just want to change, grow, heal and be the ver...

annmarie988 · annmarie988

Last year I posted a few topics on this forum as I was suffering from anxiety. I attended a few alanon meetings last year and they were great. I attended alateen at the age of 17 yrs I tend to turn to alanon when nervous or anxious. Overall, I work my daily program and have great faith in my higher power. ...

tea2 · tea2

Attention Please – We have a birthday in the house

Today is Christy’s (aka: cjo) Birthday!

So I was thinking - Why don’t we all just say "Happy Birthday" to Christy? OK? Ready? Lets Say It – Happy Birthday -To -You .. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . ....

jaja · jaja

The way I look at it that little by little we begin to see our A's as truly sick. And I think that's why you could gently whisper to him. Perhaps in his heart he's always loved you and perhaps he wonders why you still love him. Maybe that's what he's thinking as he s...

arty · arty

I am ready to snap! I kicked my A out afew weeks ago to figure himself out and to only come home if he chooses to sober up. Last night i went out and when i came home i found flowers in the kitchen, all the dishes done, and the house tidy...(when im depressed i dont clean much!) I figured that was his way of sayin...

ally · ally

(((((((((((Roomies)))))))))))) Want a laugh??????? Okay I attended my first op's meeting last night, and I changed my Nick to Ally- meeting. To let the roomies know I was still in the room. So this morning I tried to come Into the room, and I was REFUSED,(lol). so as usual I went right into one, oh h...

belle1 · belle1

When I was disconnected for 2 weeks from here I had time to think about Ally. This Is what i came up withI am posting this In the hope it can help someone understand what THEY are going through right now and to let them know we understand and THEY are not on their ownEver asked yourself this question……..Who...

duckgirl · duckgirl

Hello, newbie here. Just need to vent a little. DH is an A, driving me crazy with the sneakiness and the lies. I'm trying to learn how to let go. So hard to do when you really love someone (we've been married less than 6 months...sad I know, and I'm pr...

Fifi · Fifi

I have not posted in a few days and I feel like I miss you all....so good to read some of your words just now. My boyfriend is home from re-hab for 5 days now...we are taking it one day at a time. He is happy and sober and strong and so am I...both really focusing on ourselves and our programs and on our lives. T...

hudsond · hudsond

I try to be positive. I am so happy my husband is sober, but I still sometimes want to sock him in the jaw! He is busy working and when he is not working he is at a meeting or at his sponsor's house, or talking to other AA members. Yes, I am a little jealous of all the time he spends with t...

lmt123 · lmt123

I can't seem to get into the chat room tonite. I haven't had any problems until just a bit ago. I logged in, and it didn't show my nick on the screen. Then it showed that I had been kicked by the OP (lol, I won't mention which one...). I tried to load the chat again, and this time it showe...

jewely · jewely

it is five in the morning and i just woke up. my fingers are groping at the keyboard in foggy, heavy, sleepy disbelief. several lyears ago i was told, ''pay attention to your dreams.'' just before i woke up i was dreaming, the word helichrysum kind of flashing in my brain and the thou...

jaja · jaja

He called here about an hour ago, still under the influence of course, but coherent (and stupid sounding). He asked if it was okay if he could come here and sleep on the couch. He was at the place he stays at these days but, as I figured, he does not want to be there alone at this time. That's because...

ZiggyDoodles · ZiggyDoodles

Part of what got me to Alanon was my daughter's depression and eating disorder at 8 years old. My life was spinning out of control between my A, his A parents, brand new baby, and a deeply disturbed step child. Finding out about the eating disorder was no easy task. The school had bee...

gimmpy · gimmpy

hello, new here, I am in recovery myself as well as my husband.. now I see my 19 year old showing signs of addiction as well... not sure of best way to handle this.. I have found pot, beer, pills in her room. After having 3 years clean and sober myself, not long ago ,a few months back, i just said forget it and...

kclady · kclady

I am having self esteem problems. It mainly has to do with my job. I believe that I am a good person but I have a difficult time being assertive and standing up for myself. I am in a middle management position and have been there for several years. I have several people who work for me who are always nega...

New member needs help · pondlady

My husband has been a functional alcoholic in denial for >30 years. One month ago he suffered a seizure which the dr's said was due to alcoholism. He was in the hospital for 2 weeks and went through the physical withdrawal there. We have been home now for 2 weeks. His cogni...

BlueCloud · BlueCloud

Dear (((((Alanoners))))), A few weeks ago, I realized how fully and completely I was struggling with my concept of my HP. I realized that part of the reason I was having trouble staying connected to my HP was that I still have this image of my HP as a punishing, vengeful God. Interestingly enough my imag...

confused · confused

What does it mean " we can be happy whether the alcoholic is drinking or not" How do you do that? I know the company lines.... Detach, detach, detach... Keep the focus on me Do the next right thing.... I guess the real thing I need to look at is acceptance, what am I willing to accept??? ...

abbyal · abbyal

I found this today while rooting around in a cupboard , it is something my mother planted awhile ago , I find them occasionally. She was very optomistic and religious and was always putting liitle notes in places where I would eventually find them . hehe My mother passed away a yr ago, so I consider thi...

EarthAngel · EarthAngel

My husband went out drinking with his friend and left me alone. We had a long talk and he is threatening to leave me and divorce me unless I found a new house for us to live in by January 3rd. Im so sick of this rollercoaster of blaming and threats. I am thinking of packing up all of HIS stuff and throwing it ou...

carolena · carolena

This will seem minor to many of you, but this is where I am today. My AH who is a controller moves my things. I've wasted my time looking for my large tape player because I found a tape I wanted to play. I have looked everywhere that I think it could be. When I can't...

nycbt · nycbt

He is doing great today. The drug is really helping, he seems much more better then today. The doctor will be called if he gets worse. But right now he is doing great. YOu would never know he was withdrawing. The med he is on is supposed to help the withdraw it says it in the brochure. The name of the drug subo...

nycbt · nycbt

Right now he can't stay still he goes from one room to another back and forth. He has been in bed or he goes to lay on the floor. The med he is taking is suboxone. He is going to my med doctor who is a great doctor. I have told my husband to call the doctor if he gets worse. I would never go get the drug again. It...

Karilynn · Karilynn

((((((((((Family)))))))), Just wanted to let you know that I'm back to the living, sort of! I haven't forgotten about you all. I've missed you all. The computer crashed.

So we were struggling with finding the money to get it fixed. We found some, but will definitely have to get...

kissers · kissers

Are you in love with him/her or are you in love with the person you want him/her to be? I remember hearing this question and thinking, Oh my goodness! I always hope things will work out really well without looking for who they really are. My ex was wonderful in the beginning then his head started spinning...

hippietrippiechick · hippietrippiechick

I have no idea how any of you will feel about this, but I am not too keen up on calling the cops on my A when things get bad because I. as you know, suffer from a lot of illness. I use manijuana to help with pain, nausea, anxiety, etc. I have done a whole lot of research on this and I am very much for medical M...

Topic		Started By	Replies	Views	Last Post
	can't keep anything nice (Preview) i offered my ex my car so he could go to his inservice meeting. on the way back he hit a deer. not too much damage, just cosmetic. i was so mad. it was my dad's car and i always feel like i am betraying his memory when i let my ex drive the car. i only let him take the car when it is to my benefit or the kids. so i fe...	serendipity	5	548	Jan 24, 2007 by maresie2
	Enabling....leads to so many problems (Preview) (((Hello MIP))) Today is one of those days for me where I can see the down spiral effects of enabling. My AH has been enabled by someone almost all of his life including me. We have sheltered him and bailed him out of problem after problem and because of that he has no real concept of the world and how it wo...	twinmom2	3	399	Jan 24, 2007 by maresie2
	Every swear word I can think of (Preview) Yep I can swear like a sailor when I want to but I won't bore you with it. Or myself. My A is out of jail with a new charge .... operating a vehicle without owner's consent. But the funniest part he had consent but she is married and can't explain the whole situation to her husband. I'm accepting what that rea...	Jennifer	2	489	Jan 24, 2007 by maresie2
	When the pot has run out and the A becomes depressed (Preview) (((Friends))) What a wicked number it does to a person when they have run out of the booze or the drugs. My AH has been home with the kids this week because he hasn't had work in two weeks. We're financially hanging on by a thread, but one alternative was to take the kids out of daycare for a week or two to...	twinmom2	5	502	Jan 24, 2007 by maresie2
	To Carolinagirl and Andrea12 - Thank You! (Preview) Thank you so much Carolinagirl & Andrea12 for your replies to my LONNNGGG post yesterday. It was very encouraging. Carolinagirl - you mentioned the money thing and how he hasn't worked in 13 months. Well, he hasn't worked STEADY. He has managed to hold down a job for a month or 2 here and there. And c...	QOD	4	511	Jan 24, 2007 by maresie2
	Just need to vent (Preview) I just need to vent and I know....I know, get to more face to face meetings. My A is my 17 year old son and he is making me crazy. He is an alcoholic/addict and is non-compliant with his meds for his bi-polar which just makes it so much more unmanageable. He has been in outpatient treatment and in residen...	Sallen	2	408	Jan 24, 2007 by QOD
	So tired of the game! (Preview) It has been a while since I have posted. Life is so busy. We finally sold our house and I bought a new one in my own name. We moved last Tuesday. Or rather should I say, the kids and I with the help of my family, moved a huge household worth of stuff. My AH was absent through most of it. No wait, that is not fai...	QOD	5	445	Jan 24, 2007 by QOD
	men vs. women--just a thought (Preview) I have been thinking lately about the differences between the men's and the women's responses to their situations and in their posts/responses to others. Sometimes I get rather jealous--this may be in my head or just the way I'm seeing it, but the men seem to be so matter of fact about th...	hudsond	7	574	Jan 24, 2007 by carolinagirl
	Next few days are going to be tricky... (Preview) (((((Everyone))))) Well as some of you know my AW and I seperated 3 months ago. I told her that I loved her, but if she was actively drinking that I could no longer live that way. The chaos that spins around her is just not healthy for me and the kids. Here is the tricky part. She has run short on money ove...	rtexas	11	606	Jan 24, 2007 by kicky
	Getting through depression w/wout meds (Preview) Hey ya'll, I'm stumbling around the new (to me) world of depression and anxiety and would like to know how some of you handle it. Without meds and with - how do "they" as in Doctors figure out what is right for you? Using the power of hindsight I have figured out my Mom went through ye...	Orchid Lady	6	662	Jan 24, 2007 by DeeDee
	Negativity (Preview) I just realized a few days ago, that I have no clue how truly negative of a person I am. I'm sure I have a belief that humans are abusive, violent and critical and this shapes what happens to me. Even though I know about positive mental programming & I enjoy relationships, I am still more negat...	kitty	10	634	Jan 24, 2007 by fluffy
	Every dog has his day.. (Preview) "You're telling me that an unarmed man with one leg just robbed a bank and then wheeled over here to get a sub?" Virginia sub-shop manager Amanda Carriker, to police officers searching for a disabled man they suspected of robbing a nearby bank. The accused reportedly stopped for a san...	Tiger2006	6	578	Jan 24, 2007 by fluffy
	Not feeling resentful towards my hubby.... (Preview) Hey ((((((((roomies))))))) Well here i go again venting I feel kindof like a broken record but It is what is on my mind!!! My Hubbys Dad Calls him this morning like he does every Sunday morning to tell my hubby that he got his blood test results that he had taken a few weeks ago and had talked with his doc abo...	bubbles1990	7	543	Jan 24, 2007 by fluffy
	Chaos has subsided for now....learning more about me (Preview) Well, I know that my posts are very confusing sometimes, probably because I am confused so much all the time. I think this one begins with me. I am starting to see that by not naggin about the A's drinking he has more time to think about it himself. sometimes I do slip and say things he has done that has h...	hippietrippiechick	4	492	Jan 24, 2007 by fluffy
	the outreached comforting hand of al anon (Preview) I had an experience at a f2f mtg that ... well ... writing a bit about it here clarified it for me. But I don't think I'll post about it. It is a bit of a gray area of whether to post or not. But as discretion is often the better part of valor, I'll just say: I hope the person will keep coming back...	emma	3	318	Jan 24, 2007 by fluffy
	progress & slippery slope backsliding (Preview) So, I thought I was doing well enough to start allowing my ex (A) and father of my son back into my life a little more, he'd come over here for dinner and spend time with our son and we'd take our son out on weekends together. He says the drinking and associated bad behaviours is over. But I still d...	mama_nz	2	967	Jan 24, 2007 by lin0606
	Letting go of pain shall create freedom (Preview) Hello everyone. Here is a poem I wrote before al-Anon. it is dark and dismal but with your help and my own and my HP I feel I am heading for the freedom I have longed for. I just wanted to share this. To me Sunshinedt I wanted it to say that although we feel we start out in fear and pain there is freedom like the do...	DT1221	0	433	Jan 23, 2007 by DT1221
	Hurt But Not Angry (Preview) Hi all, Its been a tough few weeks for me. Theres something changed in me. The way i deal with things. Things do happen and i get down about it, however its just not the end of the world anymore. I dont feel so panicky now, when things are rough. Which feels very strange in new territory. I also dont stay down...	kerry5	2	454	Jan 23, 2007 by ally
	trust (Preview) My husband has been clean since Friday. Before he got clean he was lying to me all the time, disappearing for an hour and a half. Then on wednesday he told me that he was doing herion, I was shocked I got my support system and turn to them. I told my husband that I wanted him to start being honest with me. We ha...	nycbt	1	415	Jan 23, 2007 by rtexas
	living with the A (Preview) Hi everyone... I have been married for 4 years now and I keep asking myself can I or anyone live with an A? I know they are human beings and need love, but I am just wondering is it healthy to live with them; can I live healthy even though he isn't? I go back and forth with this question because I love my...	heather	7	567	Jan 23, 2007 by heather
	Do you know this about yourself? (Preview) Below is an exerpt from a post that a person made on another forum. It is in reference to how the person reacted to someone that made them feel "less then". I thought it was an excellant reaction. Keep in mind this was not from an Alanon forum where we "seek" our part in a problem. Ok, so things didn't work ou...	Christy	7	544	Jan 23, 2007 by Tiger2006
	something funny (Preview) the other night when i was having my moment thinking about being a snob, i was wondering around our local drug store. i picked up a shade of pink lipstick and i thought.....''why not''? i rarely, if ever wear pink. to day i looked at the label to see what that shade of pink is called, you&...	jewely	6	465	Jan 23, 2007 by AlaMom
	Up off the couch and "off to the races"... (Preview) the race to see who can drink the most, I suspected. I posted here on Saturday night about how myA asked to come here and sleep on the couch after an 8 day binge with his drinking friends. I decided to say Okay and let him in after the reverend drove him over. My Ah was hungry and asked for something...	jaja	3	568	Jan 23, 2007 by AlaMom
	In the middle of a crisis/chaos what Alanon tools do YOU use? (Preview) After years in Alanon I finally figured out how to use the tools. Something as simple as "THINK" came to mind many times during a crisis in my home. I finally made sure what came out of my mouth was something that would not antagonize the situation and keep it going. I found when the A was raging...	gardengal	11	577	Jan 23, 2007 by Diva
	NYCBT (Preview) ok where and how are you??? please respond!!! love,debilyn	debilyn	1	340	Jan 23, 2007 by nycbt
	For Ally, You AMAZE me (Preview) Ally,Thank you for your BRAVEHEARTFELTMOVING story. I have searched for a very long time for an apt description of depression.You nailed it. Thank youThis is for you, not my words but heartfeltlilms Friend Today I hear you crying and my heart bleeds in pain. I want to run to you and wrap my arms ar...	lilms	2	456	Jan 23, 2007 by ally
	it's everywhere!!! (Preview) i grew up in an alcoholic home. i married and alcoholic/drug addict. all of my friends are either addicted, in recovery or married to an a. 2 years before my dad died he finally got an a of his own! but his a was in the program. he was there for my dad as he died, he has been there for me during that time and since...	serendipity	1	296	Jan 23, 2007 by lin0606
	Ongoing Miracles (Preview) My granddaughter is grounded again.... LOL. It's because she's becoming a teenager, and her parents are setting boundaries... consequences. I watch this in amazement. I grew up with an alcoholic father and a codependent mother. My father was not a violent person - not really even verb...	barisax	3	315	Jan 23, 2007 by jewely
	ODAT for today (Preview) Hi all! I have been going throgh some real trials lately and wanted to share this with y'all. ........If the problems I have to face seem beyond my endurance, I will not explain them to God. He already knows. I will not tell Him what I "expect" Him to do about my difficulties; He knows wh...	irish54	2	354	Jan 23, 2007 by nmike
	Update (Preview) Hi everyone, It's been a while since I posted and just wanted to say that everything is going well. Life feels normal - as close to that as it's ever been I guess. I look forward to the weekends and never have to worry about what might happen. I still talk to my A husband and take the kids to see hi...	carolinagirl	3	360	Jan 23, 2007 by nmike
	well he is back home (Preview) well he is back home..he only spent 3 days in detox,he says they r trying to find a rehab for him to go to..he told me he needs to do rehab cause it will look good for him in court..so he is only doing this do get out of trouble not because he has a drinking and drug problem...he wants me to help him come up with 25...	bev	4	535	Jan 22, 2007 by nmike
	can i say this online.................? (Preview) for the last day or two i have been noticing something about myself. since i don't have a sponsor [my higher power and i are working on that], i was wondering if, i can say this online...............? i have noticed that i can be a bit of a snob. the other night when i arrived at the alanon meeting, one o...	jewely	13	673	Jan 22, 2007 by jrtjosey
	The nightmare... (Preview) (((((Everyone))))) My AW asked me today, " ...how do you live with yourself when I just have to leave and go back to that apartment instead of staying here with my family..." I asked here if she means how do I feel inside about this whole situation. When she said yes... I thought about it for...	rtexas	12	597	Jan 22, 2007 by aunitedway
	trying to understand my crazy life with an A. (Preview) My A husband left me 7 months ago, and I have been suffering ever since. I still love him, but hate his behavior even tho he has been sober for 26 years, he has been a mean bastard because of being a dry drunk. He just started going to meetings the last 2 years. I just want to change, grow, heal and be the ver...	snoopy	4	523	Jan 22, 2007 by snoopy
	Living in the day. (Preview) Last year I posted a few topics on this forum as I was suffering from anxiety. I attended a few alanon meetings last year and they were great. I attended alateen at the age of 17 yrs I tend to turn to alanon when nervous or anxious. Overall, I work my daily program and have great faith in my higher power. ...	annmarie988	4	461	Jan 22, 2007 by aunitedway
	SPeCiAL DaY! (Preview) Attention Please – We have a birthday in the house Today is Christy’s (aka: cjo) Birthday! So I was thinking - Why don’t we all just say "Happy Birthday" to Christy? OK? Ready? Lets Say It – Happy Birthday -To -You .. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . ....	tea2	16	410	Jan 22, 2007 by aunitedway
	jewely (Preview) The way I look at it that little by little we begin to see our A's as truly sick. And I think that's why you could gently whisper to him. Perhaps in his heart he's always loved you and perhaps he wonders why you still love him. Maybe that's what he's thinking as he s...	jaja	1	282	Jan 22, 2007 by jewely
	how can he be so dillusional??? (Preview) I am ready to snap! I kicked my A out afew weeks ago to figure himself out and to only come home if he chooses to sober up. Last night i went out and when i came home i found flowers in the kitchen, all the dishes done, and the house tidy...(when im depressed i dont clean much!) I figured that was his way of sayin...	arty	5	476	Jan 22, 2007 by carolinagirl
	Allyoops LOL (Preview) (((((((((((Roomies)))))))))))) Want a laugh??????? Okay I attended my first op's meeting last night, and I changed my Nick to Ally- meeting. To let the roomies know I was still in the room. So this morning I tried to come Into the room, and I was REFUSED,(lol). so as usual I went right into one, oh h...	ally	0	322	Jan 22, 2007 by ally
	ALLY'S LIFE..written by Ally (Preview) *When I was disconnected for 2 weeks from here I had time to think about Ally.* *This Is what i came up withI am posting this In the hope it can help someone understand* what THEY are going through right now and to let them know we understand and THEY are not on their own**Ever asked yourself this question……..Who...	belle1	0	478	Jan 22, 2007 by belle1
	Hello...New Here (Preview) Hello, newbie here. Just need to vent a little. DH is an A, driving me crazy with the sneakiness and the lies. I'm trying to learn how to let go. So hard to do when you really love someone (we've been married less than 6 months...sad I know, and I'm pr...	duckgirl	13	359	Jan 22, 2007 by babysteps
	he raises my questions too (Preview) I have not posted in a few days and I feel like I miss you all....so good to read some of your words just now. My boyfriend is home from re-hab for 5 days now...we are taking it one day at a time. He is happy and sober and strong and so am I...both really focusing on ourselves and our programs and on our lives. T...	Fifi	10	724	Jan 22, 2007 by babysteps
	Husband sober, but still frustrating!!! (Preview) I try to be positive. I am so happy my husband is sober, but I still sometimes want to sock him in the jaw! He is busy working and when he is not working he is at a meeting or at his sponsor's house, or talking to other AA members. Yes, I am a little jealous of all the time he spends with t...	hudsond	10	840	Jan 22, 2007 by hudsond
	can't get into chat...sigh... (Preview) I can't seem to get into the chat room tonite. I haven't had any problems until just a bit ago. I logged in, and it didn't show my nick on the screen. Then it showed that I had been kicked by the OP (lol, I won't mention which one...). I tried to load the chat again, and this time it showe...	lmt123	2	308	Jan 22, 2007 by Karilynn
	pay attention to your dreams...................... (Preview) it is five in the morning and i just woke up. my fingers are groping at the keyboard in foggy, heavy, sleepy disbelief. several lyears ago i was told, ''pay attention to your dreams.'' just before i woke up i was dreaming, the word helichrysum kind of flashing in my brain and the thou...	jewely	0	317	Jan 22, 2007 by jewely
	I just now let him in (sigh) (Preview) He called here about an hour ago, still under the influence of course, but coherent (and stupid sounding). He asked if it was okay if he could come here and sleep on the couch. He was at the place he stays at these days but, as I figured, he does not want to be there alone at this time. That's because...	jaja	9	527	Jan 22, 2007 by jewely
	Not Again! I call Uncle! (Preview) Part of what got me to Alanon was my daughter's depression and eating disorder at 8 years old. My life was spinning out of control between my A, his A parents, brand new baby, and a deeply disturbed step child. Finding out about the eating disorder was no easy task. The school had bee...	ZiggyDoodles	10	550	Jan 21, 2007 by ZiggyDoodles
	my kids drinking and drugging (Preview) hello, new here, I am in recovery myself as well as my husband.. now I see my 19 year old showing signs of addiction as well... not sure of best way to handle this.. I have found pot, beer, pills in her room. After having 3 years clean and sober myself, not long ago ,a few months back, i just said forget it and...	gimmpy	5	622	Jan 21, 2007 by Jerry F
	I need to be more assertive. (Preview) I am having self esteem problems. It mainly has to do with my job. I believe that I am a good person but I have a difficult time being assertive and standing up for myself. I am in a middle management position and have been there for several years. I have several people who work for me who are always nega...	kclady	6	1225	Jan 21, 2007 by Jerry F
	New member needs help (Preview) My husband has been a functional alcoholic in denial for >30 years. One month ago he suffered a seizure which the dr's said was due to alcoholism. He was in the hospital for 2 weeks and went through the physical withdrawal there. We have been home now for 2 weeks. His cogni...	pondlady	8	583	Jan 21, 2007 by lilliput
	Redefining My HP (Preview) Dear (((((Alanoners))))), A few weeks ago, I realized how fully and completely I was struggling with my concept of my HP. I realized that part of the reason I was having trouble staying connected to my HP was that I still have this image of my HP as a punishing, vengeful God. Interestingly enough my imag...	BlueCloud	2	490	Jan 21, 2007 by Jerry F
	how can you be happy whether the alcoholic is drinking or not (Preview) What does it mean " we can be happy whether the alcoholic is drinking or not" How do you do that? I know the company lines.... Detach, detach, detach... Keep the focus on me Do the next right thing.... I guess the real thing I need to look at is acceptance, what am I willing to accept??? ...	confused	9	606	Jan 21, 2007 by Karilynn
	THIS IS FOR YOU KERRY (Preview) I found this today while rooting around in a cupboard , it is something my mother planted awhile ago , I find them occasionally. She was very optomistic and religious and was always putting liitle notes in places where I would eventually find them . hehe My mother passed away a yr ago, so I consider thi...	abbyal	1	441	Jan 21, 2007 by kerry5
	Constant Threats (Preview) My husband went out drinking with his friend and left me alone. We had a long talk and he is threatening to leave me and divorce me unless I found a new house for us to live in by January 3rd. Im so sick of this rollercoaster of blaming and threats. I am thinking of packing up all of HIS stuff and throwing it ou...	EarthAngel	8	513	Jan 21, 2007 by carolena
	Does anyone else have this problem?? (Preview) This will seem minor to many of you, but this is where I am today. My AH who is a controller moves my things. I've wasted my time looking for my large tape player because I found a tape I wanted to play. I have looked everywhere that I think it could be. When I can't...	carolena	4	392	Jan 21, 2007 by carolena
	it helping (Preview) He is doing great today. The drug is really helping, he seems much more better then today. The doctor will be called if he gets worse. But right now he is doing great. YOu would never know he was withdrawing. The med he is on is supposed to help the withdraw it says it in the brochure. The name of the drug subo...	nycbt	1	312	Jan 21, 2007 by debilyn
	the medi (Preview) Right now he can't stay still he goes from one room to another back and forth. He has been in bed or he goes to lay on the floor. The med he is taking is suboxone. He is going to my med doctor who is a great doctor. I have told my husband to call the doctor if he gets worse. I would never go get the drug again. It...	nycbt	5	551	Jan 21, 2007 by gardengal
	I'm back! (Preview) ((((((((((Family)))))))), Just wanted to let you know that I'm back to the living, sort of! I haven't forgotten about you all. I've missed you all. The computer crashed. So we were struggling with finding the money to get it fixed. We found some, but will definitely have to get...	Karilynn	7	334	Jan 21, 2007 by Andrea12
	An Enlightening Question (Preview) Are you in love with him/her or are you in love with the person you want him/her to be? I remember hearing this question and thinking, Oh my goodness! I always hope things will work out really well without looking for who they really are. My ex was wonderful in the beginning then his head started spinning...	kissers	4	355	Jan 21, 2007 by oliveoil
	I have a reason for being afraid to call the cops on my A (Preview) I have no idea how any of you will feel about this, but I am not too keen up on calling the cops on my A when things get bad because I. as you know, suffer from a lot of illness. I use manijuana to help with pain, nausea, anxiety, etc. I have done a whole lot of research on this and I am very much for medical M...	hippietrippiechick	8	575	Jan 20, 2007 by moms3
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The material presented here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method to exchange information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal level.