The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
I'm just struggling with a lot of things lately, job-wise and other stuff. Business is very, very slow right now for both me and my A, and I'm trying to use my wits and business experience to decide on whether to begin a new journey or not.
As some of ya know, both my A and I are self-employed, each of us with a different type of job than the other. There are lots of financial issues caused by my A's drinking history (health, auto, and life insurance rates are all high because of his past, etc.) and I'm having a hard time with resentment. He can't get another job, because he doesn't have a driver's license, unless it's a walk-to job, and with us being in a small town, that's hard to find. The occupation he has now pays very, very well, but when there's no busines, it doesn't cut it. He is waiting, waiting every day for customers to call, and I get resentful that he's not able to get out and find something regular, permanent, with health benefits. That makes me feel pressured to be the one to step up to the plate. I wouldn't mind it as much if he didn't have the past that makes things more costly to us.
I know this is my issue, so I'm trying to find a way to remedy it myself. I feel like I'm about to lose my mind, but I can't because SOMEONE has to keep it together (typical of an alanoner's way of thinking, huh?) But it's for REAL, it's a financial situation that has to be addressed by one or both of us.
It's never been this tight, except for when I was newly divorced from my first husband, and even then I only had myself to be mad at, not a spouse.
Anyway, just please send up prayers for me to do the right thing. I'm stressed so much that I need a massage, as opposed to giving everyone else one! I'm feeling like my face is ever-so tight, the muscles are soooo tense, that it's a near-headache every day.
Two things in common with me my husband self employed and live in small town so I can relate. Will pray to Hp that money comes through when you need it. Very hard for others to realize the hardship of your own business when they have a steady wage coming in through another employer. You are always reliant on other people paying your bills so you can pay your own. Hope life gets a little better. LUv Leo xx
I can so relate. My hubby is self employed, as well, and business is so slow, if not non existent right now that I have to fight the painicy feelings inside. But, I do know that this too shall pass and it's just a bump in the road. AND we have had many bumps.......as everyone does. I feel resentment inside of me sometimes, too, because my A's (son) addiction has caused us to be broke....literally. But, it was our choice to help him and one we would make again, if it meant that he would be doing as well as he is now. I know it has to be terrible when your A is active and the money is being wasted, but like all illnesses, it happens and all we can do is the best that we can do and keep going. Really, what choice do we have? We have to deal with what is and not what we wish it was or know it could be.
I have chosen to have faith and let go and let God have this. He will take care of us and I know He will take care of you, too, dear friend. One day at a time is all you can do. It's all any of us can do. And today, I know that we will be okay.
You are in my prayers, lmt. Please take care of you and know that I care.
Prayers are on the way from me :) I believe in prayers! The only thing is HP seems to work in his own time. If you were not married, you would need to hold together for you too. So focus on you and do your very best and leave that resentment behind! It is like a ball and chain for you and will do you no good at all. fluffy xoxoxoxo
Letting Go and Letting HP/God may be just the thing to do so HP can do just that...help you with any (this) situation. Your in my prayers. ((((( please send monies lmts way )))))with a ((((BIGHuG))))
I just want to thank you all for your very kind words of encouragement. I do believe in prayer, I know it's powerful effect first hand. Continue to pray for me, if ya don't mind...I need all the prayers I can get!
I've learned in Alanon that I can ask for prayers for ME, because I do have to take care of MYSELF. Funny, before Alanon, I would have thought it selfish to ask someone to pray for me.
Sorry for all the stress you are feeling, I know first hand how hard financial stress can be...and it's hard not to resent them (the A's) because in most cases they are the reason we are where we are..
I am sending you prayers dear friend, Prayers for peace of mind...prayers for some relief of you financial situation....
Lmt, somehow things have a way of working out, just keep holing god's hand and he will walk you thru..
I know those feelings of financial pressures. Been going through that alot lately too. Hard not to feel a bit resentful. But I keep reminding myself that I am greatful that he is sober and we are where we are today because of it and I know we can overcome anything. But I'll tell you a secret..... I wish we could catch a break too. When is it our turn for things to lighten up? Yeah, I'm in that frame of mind too. This too shall pass, somehow.
Sending you lots of love and prayers. Pipers Kitty would be more than happy to come and massage your back. She's got the most amazing paws.
Live strong,
Karilynn & Pipers Kitty
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It's your life. Take no prisoners. You will have it your way.
Letting Go and Letting HP/God may be just the thing to do so HP can do just that...help you with any (this) situation. Your in my prayers. ((((( please send monies lmts way )))))with a ((((BIG
HuG))))
I do believe in prayer, I know it's powerful effect first hand. Continue to pray for me, if ya don't mind...I need all the prayers I can get! 
