The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
Below is an exerpt from a post that a person made on another forum. It is in reference to how the person reacted to someone that made them feel "less then". I thought it was an excellant reaction. Keep in mind this was not from an Alanon forum where we "seek" our part in a problem.
Ok, so things didn't work out like I expected. The person I thought was supposed to Love me forever decided they liked someone else. I know they treated me poorly and definitely not like I want to be treated, but now I AM choosing to value myself and I will demand people treat me like I want to be treated. More importantly however I will choose to know that I AM Worthy of being treated like I want. I AM worthy of being Loved. I AM worthy of receiving all that I want. I AM also choosing to know that the Universe will deliver everything I desire. So there is no one past, present, or future that can keep me from getting what I want. I also know that now that I AM alone, I have a lot more creative time where I can focus and refine my desires and truly deliberately create exactly what I want for my life. And most importantly, I AM going to stop trying to figure out What is Wrong with Me, and how I could have been differently in order to keep the other liking me. This is really the source of my pain, because it never feels good to doubt myself. It never feels good to cast myself in judgement. It never feels good to look for what is wrong with me, because there never is anything wrong with me. As soon as I can say, you know what. I AM who I AM, and if anyone else doesn't like that it's their loss baby. And I AM going to live my life from this day forward like I AM the center of the Universe, because -It is how Source (HP) wants me to be. So, I AM going to recognize myself in all my divine glory just like Source recognizes me and anyone who tells me that I AM less than I AM will be thoroughly ignored, or otherwise snubbed, because I AM that important, and I refuse to be less than I AM. So be it.
-- Edited by Christy at 20:55, 2007-01-22
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If we think that miracles are normal, we will expect them. And expecting a miracle is the surest way to get one.
awesome share, thanks!! We are in control of how we feel and how we live our own life, great reminder. Words from others are often just words in this game.
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Julianne - It's best to move on. You cannot look back in anger in life. It's too short
I like that post, and I also like the way it brings up something that we need to keep in mind. Finding our part, keeping our side of the street clean, focusing on ourselves - none of these are ways to say that there is something wrong with us. In a funny sort of way, I am MORE sure of myself, more truly the self I really am, when I take responsibility for my part in things. To the outside eye, "finding my part" and "beating myself up"may look like the same thing, but they are not. Maybe the difference is that one is MY truth, and the other is a truth imposed from outside.
Thanks so much for this,it is exactly how I am beginning to feel these days.As I have said in another post I have recently started a new job.I really like it ( the fact that I am seriously attracted to a guy there helps,hahaha).I recently found out that a young ( 20 year old) is transferring to my department and right away I got depressed.Know why? Because I started beating myself up.I imagined that she will do everything better,she will be smarter,she will just wow everyone because she has youth while I forget things and have to have a magnifying glass to see some things!I can't get down on the floor like I used to and of course she will do that without a problem.I've gotten alot of good comments on my work and have needed that.So now I imagined myself being "less than" again.
I realized I was doing this,which is a change for me.Normally I would have just gone on feeling bad about myself,putting myself down in my head.But once I realized I was doing this I told myself I have not changed.I am still as good at my job whether she is there or not.And even if she is younger and quicker it really does not diminish me,I am still the same.I am starting to really like me and except my flaws and my aging.Nothing I can do about aging,it happens.I work hard,do my best and that will not change.I have decided that I may end up liking her,maybe we will get along well,young people usually like me.
My point is I have decided,as the writer above,that I am no longer going to let other people decide if I am valuable or not.Who gives them that power anyway, I do!!
On a similar line,I have also decided not to try to be what I think this guy would want me to be.I have decided to put my granny glasses on in front of him and be who I am!! If I am going to find a guy to spend my life with he will have to love me for who I am.No more pretense,no more changing myself to please him.I did that for 36 years and still lost my husband.It doesn't work.So ladies, and gents be yourself,don't bend to please others.Doesn't mean you can be a caring,loving and giving person.But be WHO you are.And love who you are.
I'm going to be reading that post over and over again. I really need to find a way to internalize that message. In doing my self inventory, I realized that I feel guilty whenever I get what I want, emotionally or materially. I've been that way as long as I can remember, and am struggling now to prioritize myself. Even my AW says I need to get more selfish!
"I AM worthy of receiving all that I want." That needs to become my mantra.
I actually wrote on my bathroom mirror "THIS MERICLE IS GOD APPROVED!" To remind me how special I am, how beautiful I am, how WORTHY I am, I am a god approved mericle.
