Al-Anon Family Group - Al-Anon Family Group

notmywill · notmywill

Hi everyone, I new here and needed some feedback. I went to an open talk tonight, Al-Anon. It made me think about how similiar my life is compared to the A. When they are drinking, they make a lot of bad decisions. Well, I was looking back on my life and see how many bad decisions I've made. I have the same di...

charr · charr

just got back from our 3rd MT session, She said I still have to much anger at my ah, to keep comming back to the sessions, she said to my husband, can i do anything for you? I just walked out. Now i think he knows for sure i am crazy. All i do is just tare into him when i get there, i feel safe i don't confront him I am...

John · John

When we enter the world of recovery so many dynamics come into play. Life continues to unfold. We still experience saddness, disappointments, frustrations, anger and fear. Many of us don't know where we will end up from here. Where we will live, where we will work, how we will take care of our famil...

shawn306 · shawn306

Well I'm back. Things were looking good for a while for my AD. He quit drinking for about two weeks knowing that I was coming with my wife and kids and his brother and hit wife. The whole Memorial Day weekend was really good. I talked with my Mom and she was telling me about here alanon meetings and that my AD...

sadako · sadako

i guess i should spell out the situation a little bit first. i live in public housing, fairly nice actually, but we do have problems. there has been a guy about 20 hanging around here - after a trespassing charge and restraining order - he's preyed on ateenage girl in the building before, and the rumor is...

meagain · meagain

My son and I have been battling back and forth thru email-----I shouldn't say battling---they will not pick up the phone, or email. Well yesterday DS called me and I mean he was VERy mad--just yelling at me on the phone. A month ago their marriage was over---now its turned around and I am the big blame fo...

seekingserenity · seekingserenity

so, I've watched this show from time to time and the relationship that Lauralei has with Rory, mother and daughter respectively, has been one I've often been jealous of. Here's why, Lauralei has this completely dysfunctional relationship with her own mother but she is a good mom in the show. Now, I kn...

nycbt · nycbt

I have an online sponsor. I went to the alanon online room and was in the chat alot. In fact I started with online before face to face. I got face to face sponsor she really didn't help me. I am not suggesting that face to face sponsor don't work I enjoy it, however there are some people that might do better wi...

maire rua · maire rua

Dear All, Today I got another doozie of an email from one of my bosses. He says his higher ups are making him do these things which involve changing the title of my job which was sanctioned by all these higher ups. I rang him back and was very direct. I told him I was insulted by the email and had not received a...

Andrea12 · Andrea12

Hello Friends, Been awhile since I posted. I have a beautiful baby grand daughter. She was born May 31, at 5:30 am. It was a little bitter sweet as I was thinking why couldn't my husband be here he would have been such a wonderful grandpap. Things for me have been pretty good, I still cry, I miss him. How...

deecee6565 · deecee6565

My AH that I am divorced from but have been living with for the past 3 years left under a rage, my interpretation, he felt guilty doing it in front of his family, his is that since his health is bad I have ignored him, wont help him financially for his meds and the kids get on his nerves. I use my tools everyday...

queenie105 · queenie105

Hi All, I'm new here, but I'm not new to Alanon, nor am I new to on-line support groups. Background: I've been with my AH for 23 years. When I was first w/him, he was actively drinking. I was a single mom of 3 kids, xh abandoned us and we haven't heard from him since, no child support, no nothing (and he wa...

belle1 · belle1

anyone seen 'blessed' around or if you can read this yourself could u please leave a message id like to get in touch again belle1

kitty · kitty

In the last few days, I've found out that (my step-dad) the A is vomitting blood daily, now. Not sure how long it's been happening. My mother mentioned it and it seems to have taken me a couple of days for it to really sink in. I knew he was bad, I know it's progressive. It is really sad to know he's at this s...

mamaof4angels · mamaof4angels

Hello everyone, So much has happened in my life since I was here last. Just to introduce myself to those of you who don't know me, I am a 34 yr old mother of 5 children and a wife to a wonderful man. I am also the daughter to a mother who is addicted to additions. Pills, alcohol, gambling, men, sex, internet, o...

carolinagirl · carolinagirl

Things have been mellow and good lately. A little snafu with the bank, and changing accounts but I'm hoping that will be resolved without too much chaos. Still don't know if daughter graduated middle school and apparently they won't tell us until everyone is gone for the summer which I take as a bad s...

Tiger2006 · Tiger2006

SHAWNEE, Kan. - George Chandler says he didn't know a 2 1/2-inch nail was driven into his skull until his buddy spotted it stuck through his cap. Chandler said he felt only a sting. "It never did really what you call hurt," the Shawnee man said Wednesday on NBC's "Today." ADVERTI...

Codependent · Codependent

Well, the A is still in jail and I am SLOWLY leaving him behind. I still talk to him, etc, but it is getting easier to not answer the phone. I am also seeing someone else. He is "healthy" in that he has a great job is respectful of me, etc. He pays a lot of attention to me, etc. He is recently di...

Beajour · Beajour

Hi all - My A has been drinking since he got out of treatment - first every couple months a relapse, then a month, two weeks, now the last two weekends in a row. I however feel fine (a major improvment). I don't even get mad anymore, I feel like "what's the use?". I know he's already beating hi...

Minnehaha · Minnehaha

Hello everyone. I have a situation with my adult step daughter that I cannot figure out. I have been married to her father for 10 years now and during that time she has consistently treated me like the family skunk. I have stayed out of her way so that I didn't become a barrier to her relationship with...

meagain · meagain

My 35yr. old son accused me via internet that over the years I have said he has a "dark soul" I don't even know what that means. Does anyone else know?? I tried calling him and emailing him about it, but as usual like my other discussions about our delimma he will not talk to me. I am totally at a l...

Codependent · Codependent

It is so good to be back here. I finally have a computer that works and internet at home so I feel fully connected! In my last post I mentioned that I am trying to detach from my A in jail by getting back in the dating world. That being said I do still talk to the A and at times tell him about my new dating life. ...

painthorse60 · painthorse60

This is my first post here, but I could use some insight into my problem. Husband is currently recovering and has 3 years of sobriety in. Good news BUT - he has recently started going to meetings with increased frequency - not a bad thing. However, he is taking a woman who is also in the program with hi...

maire rua · maire rua

Yes, its been one of those days. At present I am working on trying to recruit students to a good evening ba programme which will offer alternatives to studying entirely on campus. I have done a good job. Today my boss tell me my name is being mentioned too much and he has been advised to leave me out of repor...

Bettina · Bettina

I just wanted to say hello , I have been away from alanon online for about a year. This is a different group and appears very nice and not religious like the other group I was with. I have been married to the A 26 years, but Im not here to talk about him, I have done alanon for a number of years and I hope I can sti...

Loupiness · Loupiness

Hi Friends, Well, I received my son's report card today and I am not happy. So, I am typing out the grades to send to my AH and feeling kinda nasty. I've been so good (relatively speaking) in my actions and words and am just feeling the need to let my AH know I think he is a selfish b*****d. I want to tell him t...

ESH · ESH

I've been away for a while, but just got an invite (via e-mail from MIP) to come back!!! A while back someone said they were getting a new puppy. I cannot remember who it was, but I am wondering how it is going with the new baby? I am so happy to have been invited back... and anyone who hasn't yet tried the on...

GreenGem · GreenGem

but I got an email today from the group and thought I should pop my head in. I read a lot here on my journey with my A. I cried so many tears, fought so hard, loved unconditionally, tried so hard not to blame. He died, almost a year ago now. He was drinking again, lying about it - I caught him at it again.. told...

jdspencer · jdspencer

Too many stories to tell about how I got here, and I'm sure you've lived them all before, but this is the first time I'm seeking help. I do have a first appointment with a therapist next week, but something inside me can't wait. Long story short: My husband of 1 year is alcoholic. I guess he always has been,...

glad · glad

Sometimes HP gives us what we need, when we need it and we are not even aware. With my work I have recently encountered someone that is in charge of the system that pays me and makes referrals to me. I saw red flags the first meeting with him,instead of just walking away and not accepting business from his...

tma0413 · tma0413

Hello everyone!! AH is home from his stay in jail/work release. Has been since Saturday. He hasn't drank much, a couple beers the day he got home. Anyways, he tells me tonight "Just so you know, if I want to have a couple beers at night, I'm gonna." I tell him that I can't control what he d...

glad · glad

As previous post stated I told A B/F I could not live any longer with Active drinking without recovery program for both of us. Emotional distance. He stated he would go to AA and (sort of ) indicated he would try an AA related counseling program. ( I really didn't get a strong idea of what he thinks or feels...

paulaque · paulaque

Sooooo.....this is sobriety? I don't know that I like it! My A's still pushing my buttons(I'm letting him!) He's done four weeks of rehab, four weeks ago and now he knows it all!!! I need to get more ftf meetings in. He is seeing problems that have always been there for the first time and wading in to fix th...

connie marie · connie marie

i was married to my a for 17 pretty miserable years, cheating, lying, spending money, dui, etc. then he left me for another woman. when i filed for divorce he begged me to take him back. i prayed about it and felt thats what i should do. he went to aa, quit drinking, we went to church and got saved, hung out...

Cad · Cad

Hello, John sent me an email this morning and I decided to take him up on the offer. I have been in Al-Anon for about 23 years. I have held many service positions. Right now I am the District Rep. for my district. I was the DR. ten years ago, when there was a lot of people in the program and a lot more meetin...

meagain · meagain

I apparently have been in a conflict with my oldest son. His actions so remind me of my exA. He has shown me not much respect. I have detached...but have left a few messages, because I want to see my Gkids. No response....It has been over a month. This is not fair to the kids..we spent so much time together...

debbi · debbi

Hi everyone. I'm new to the board. My friend is 19 yrs clean and has been a godsend to me. So here's my story... Both my sons are 21 and 18. I'm in a second marriage on 4 years now to a wonderful and loving man. We were introduced by my oldest and his middle son. My oldest son Nick (now 21) has always been d...

QOD · QOD

So here I am again. It has been a LONG time since I have been on here. Some of you may remember me...some don't know me at all. History: I married my highschool sweetheart when I was 18 and pregnant in the 12th grade. We were married for 15 years. We had a son and daughter in that time, ages now 15 yo son in A...

maresie · maresie

I'm at a place not where I am more interested in what I did in the relationship(s) that what the A did. I'm saying that not to minimize what he did (obviously it was incredibly self destructive) but to look at what did I do. Overtime and reading I'm really seeing that when I was in rescue mode, in victim mod...

shawn306 · shawn306

I feel lost right now. I am the son of an A and I am sitting here watching a family fall apart and there is nothing I can do about it. My Father, who in hindsight probably was always an alcoholic but had always been able to put on the brakes when things started getting out of hand can't now. For the past 18 mo...

Loupiness · Loupiness

I had a rough week last week. Thus, I have been trying to make a conscious effort thie past few days, mostly by prayer, to get my emotions away from my AH and onto myself and my kids. Uhhh, and its just as difficult as I thought it would be. Now I am finding myself getting mad. What set me off first thing this...

Karilynn · Karilynn

(((((Family)))), Hubby and I could really use lots of prayers right now. It has nothing to do with his drinking (or not). He has some health issues and it doesn't look good right now. No one knows besides his Dad and myself. I found out yesterday. He's been carrying this around for almost 10 months...

kitty · kitty

... one word or a phrase can set me off by anyone that knows me. I am very emotional and most days, honestly am pretty reactive. So the days when I'm cool, calm, collected are the rare ones... and just b/c I don't outwardly say any thing, my brain is likely having a nutty conversation all by itself. Then...

debilyn · debilyn

Hi, thank you for all your support and words.I read them all over and over.The thoughts also come up in my head. Son called me, we had a nice normal conversation. I told him thank you for callind. He said if this is what it takes I will keep checking in. Was soooooo nice. Daughter apologised then went on to s...

BK911 · BK911

Hi, My name is Bobbi. I am married to an alcoholic, and also the adult child of an alcoholic (my Dad who died when I was 19). I have been married for 2 years to my AH, but we lived together for 2 before that. He is verbally abusive when he drinks, and I reached my breaking point with all of it. I told him about...

QOD · QOD

I took my kids to the beach on Saturday. A guy friend and his 7 yo son went with us. I gave my son the option to stay with his dad instead of going with us. He doesn't really care for the beach or the heat and sand. So he called his dad, of course he didn't get an answer at 8:00 AM. He decided to go with us, said...

CJ · CJ

(((family))) I want to pass along some ESH that may be valuable. Collectively, we need to get past the question of "why?". Why does he/she __________? That blank can be anything for them; however, it is a path that leads to the dangerous places in my head. I have found that keeping the fo...

nmike · nmike

Hi Alanoners , So glad that you are always here. I went to my f2f meeting this morning. Right before the meeting my AHSober calls me. He did it again. I thought we agreed to met to have supper with our son home from college. He was pleasant enough and then on the phone, he bombed me. He made an offer on land wit...

Suzannah · Suzannah

I want to thank everyone for the lovely and very encouraging responses to my recent posts and for the lovely birthday wishes that you all expressed. The after glow certainly got me through the rest of last week. This week, however, is a different kettle of fish and tomorrow is going to be very testing, s...

charr · charr

just checking in with my mip family, i have a lot to post about, there is a little chaos going on right now so i don't have much time to type. when i stepped back from the situation with my ah and took myself out to look at me, my mind started to get alittle clear, i love my self and there are people out there tha...

jonibaloni21 · jonibaloni21

JUNE 1, 2008 MEETING MINUTES Of MIRACLES IN PROGRESS ALANON GROUP Madam Chair opened the meeting with the Serenity Prayer. Madam Chair then posted an outline of the evening's meeting agenda. Madam Chair noted that the Sec. was absent and asked for a volunteer to take meeting minutes in the Sec's a...

JenniferN · JenniferN

Ok, so I quit my pain in the butt job and the next day I was home to receive a phone call from a local Doctor's office that wants me in for an interview on Wednesday. And now for the last few days I've been trying my hardest to keep my tounge in check because my MIND and TEMPER are working overtime due to hormon...

QOD · QOD

I got a call from my son's school this morning. The school psychologist called him in to "talk" and see if she can figure out what some of his issues are and how we can help him. Well, needless to say, he wasn't there. He is skipping school today!!! And on top of that he told me this morning tha...

szeyamo · szeyamo

Hi. I sought out this board because I have a question and no one to answer it. My husband is from a family of alcoholics. He drank as a teenager, and then stopped when he was about 21 (DUI). Then started again for about 3 years before I met him, at 28. We've been married happily for 12 years, without any drink...

canadianguy · canadianguy

Hi all... we've had lots of great discussion on the board in recent weeks about the subjects of "enabling" and "detachment", so I thought I'd post some great information about both of these items, direct from an expert in the field..... Hope it clarifies some of the misconcep...

junehouse · junehouse

Hello, So here I am all grown up and mature. Self reflective and saddned by my weaknesses and having developed skills to combat them to some extent. So my question is...? Yes, I grew up in isolation and chaos with two alcoholic parents who where both likely personality disordered or mentally ill in a...

stariana · stariana

I have never posted my own topic on here, only replied to others. I seem to gain strength from reading other peoples problems and the responses they receive. So bear with me - I NEVER ask for help. One of my "wonderful" coping skills learned very young! ahahaha My life in a nutshell... daug...

wildthang86 · wildthang86

Well brothers and sisters, I am having a very difficult time, once again, with my oldest son. Who has graduated from high school. By the skin of his teeth. Now we are working on gettng grants, scholarships, or loans for his college education. None of which he wants to participate in. I have tried to talk...

carosie · carosie

This morning in the meeting the topics were detachment and gratitude...as I sat here pondering the topics a thought came to mind. When I am detaching I can be in a mindset of gratitude. I know for me gratitude aids me in keeping my serenity. When I am feeling grateful for all I do have I do feel I'm in a pla...

ddub · ddub

Hi family, I know lots of the slogans now like aware, accept, action etc but my mode of operation seems to be progress, then the slip or regression that can follow sneaks up on me and I wallow so much I don't even realize what has come over me so I could give myself 15 min of self pity. It takes me days to becom...

Topic		Started By	Replies	Views	Last Post
	Lost Job (Preview) Hi everyone, I new here and needed some feedback. I went to an open talk tonight, Al-Anon. It made me think about how similiar my life is compared to the A. When they are drinking, they make a lot of bad decisions. Well, I was looking back on my life and see how many bad decisions I've made. I have the same di...	notmywill	3	314	Jun 14, 2008 by maire rua
	so angery and Marriage therapy (Preview) just got back from our 3rd MT session, She said I still have to much anger at my ah, to keep comming back to the sessions, she said to my husband, can i do anything for you? I just walked out. Now i think he knows for sure i am crazy. All i do is just tare into him when i get there, i feel safe i don't confront him I am...	charr	8	1309	Jun 14, 2008 by junehouse
	Variables of Recovery, Healing and Growth (Preview) When we enter the world of recovery so many dynamics come into play. Life continues to unfold. We still experience saddness, disappointments, frustrations, anger and fear. Many of us don't know where we will end up from here. Where we will live, where we will work, how we will take care of our famil...	John	5	384	Jun 14, 2008 by Andrea12
	We all got played (Preview) Well I'm back. Things were looking good for a while for my AD. He quit drinking for about two weeks knowing that I was coming with my wife and kids and his brother and hit wife. The whole Memorial Day weekend was really good. I talked with my Mom and she was telling me about here alanon meetings and that my AD...	shawn306	7	748	Jun 14, 2008 by Euoria
	A is out of control again, i feel scared (Preview) i guess i should spell out the situation a little bit first. i live in public housing, fairly nice actually, but we do have problems. there has been a guy about 20 hanging around here - after a trespassing charge and restraining order - he's preyed on ateenage girl in the building before, and the rumor is...	sadako	5	626	Jun 14, 2008 by sadako
	I really need your help.................. (Preview) My son and I have been battling back and forth thru email-----I shouldn't say battling---they will not pick up the phone, or email. Well yesterday DS called me and I mean he was VERy mad--just yelling at me on the phone. A month ago their marriage was over---now its turned around and I am the big blame fo...	meagain	4	592	Jun 14, 2008 by Jerry F
	Gilmore Girls (Preview) so, I've watched this show from time to time and the relationship that Lauralei has with Rory, mother and daughter respectively, has been one I've often been jealous of. Here's why, Lauralei has this completely dysfunctional relationship with her own mother but she is a good mom in the show. Now, I kn...	seekingserenity	2	240	Jun 13, 2008 by maresie
	having an online sponsor (Preview) I have an online sponsor. I went to the alanon online room and was in the chat alot. In fact I started with online before face to face. I got face to face sponsor she really didn't help me. I am not suggesting that face to face sponsor don't work I enjoy it, however there are some people that might do better wi...	nycbt	10	771	Jun 13, 2008 by madonna
	Excuses and Blame (Preview) Dear All, Today I got another doozie of an email from one of my bosses. He says his higher ups are making him do these things which involve changing the title of my job which was sanctioned by all these higher ups. I rang him back and was very direct. I told him I was insulted by the email and had not received a...	maire rua	2	502	Jun 13, 2008 by maresie
	I am a Grandma (Preview) Hello Friends, Been awhile since I posted. I have a beautiful baby grand daughter. She was born May 31, at 5:30 am. It was a little bitter sweet as I was thinking why couldn't my husband be here he would have been such a wonderful grandpap. Things for me have been pretty good, I still cry, I miss him. How...	Andrea12	9	422	Jun 13, 2008 by Mabeleileen
	He wants me to change. (Preview) My AH that I am divorced from but have been living with for the past 3 years left under a rage, my interpretation, he felt guilty doing it in front of his family, his is that since his health is bad I have ignored him, wont help him financially for his meds and the kids get on his nerves. I use my tools everyday...	deecee6565	8	632	Jun 12, 2008 by deecee6565
	I'm new and needing input (Preview) Hi All, I'm new here, but I'm not new to Alanon, nor am I new to on-line support groups. Background: I've been with my AH for 23 years. When I was first w/him, he was actively drinking. I was a single mom of 3 kids, xh abandoned us and we haven't heard from him since, no child support, no nothing (and he wa...	queenie105	11	570	Jun 12, 2008 by SOSAD
	looking for nick 'Blessed' (Preview) anyone seen 'blessed' around or if you can read this yourself could u please leave a message id like to get in touch again belle1	belle1	0	288	Jun 12, 2008 by belle1
	vomitting blood (Preview) In the last few days, I've found out that (my step-dad) the A is vomitting blood daily, now. Not sure how long it's been happening. My mother mentioned it and it seems to have taken me a couple of days for it to really sink in. I knew he was bad, I know it's progressive. It is really sad to know he's at this s...	kitty	5	430	Jun 12, 2008 by Jean4444
	Sorry it's been a while (Preview) Hello everyone, So much has happened in my life since I was here last. Just to introduce myself to those of you who don't know me, I am a 34 yr old mother of 5 children and a wife to a wonderful man. I am also the daughter to a mother who is addicted to additions. Pills, alcohol, gambling, men, sex, internet, o...	mamaof4angels	1	398	Jun 12, 2008 by queenie105
	Update... (Preview) Things have been mellow and good lately. A little snafu with the bank, and changing accounts but I'm hoping that will be resolved without too much chaos. Still don't know if daughter graduated middle school and apparently they won't tell us until everyone is gone for the summer which I take as a bad s...	carolinagirl	6	318	Jun 12, 2008 by carolinagirl
	everyday's a new adventure...:) (Preview) SHAWNEE, Kan. - George Chandler says he didn't know a 2 1/2-inch nail was driven into his skull until his buddy spotted it stuck through his cap. Chandler said he felt only a sting. "It never did really what you call hurt," the Shawnee man said Wednesday on NBC's "Today." ADVERTI...	Tiger2006	1	249	Jun 12, 2008 by carolinagirl
	Starting Over- Insecurity (Preview) Well, the A is still in jail and I am SLOWLY leaving him behind. I still talk to him, etc, but it is getting easier to not answer the phone. I am also seeing someone else. He is "healthy" in that he has a great job is respectful of me, etc. He pays a lot of attention to me, etc. He is recently di...	Codependent	4	415	Jun 12, 2008 by Bettina
	Am I being to passive? (Preview) Hi all - My A has been drinking since he got out of treatment - first every couple months a relapse, then a month, two weeks, now the last two weekends in a row. I however feel fine (a major improvment). I don't even get mad anymore, I feel like "what's the use?". I know he's already beating hi...	Beajour	8	680	Jun 12, 2008 by canadianguy
	guidance needed (Preview) Hello everyone. I have a situation with my adult step daughter that I cannot figure out. I have been married to her father for 10 years now and during that time she has consistently treated me like the family skunk. I have stayed out of her way so that I didn't become a barrier to her relationship with...	Minnehaha	10	362	Jun 12, 2008 by Minnehaha
	Meaning of..........?? (Preview) My 35yr. old son accused me via internet that over the years I have said he has a "dark soul" I don't even know what that means. Does anyone else know?? I tried calling him and emailing him about it, but as usual like my other discussions about our delimma he will not talk to me. I am totally at a l...	meagain	4	443	Jun 12, 2008 by debilyn
	So Good to Be Back- Question (Preview) It is so good to be back here. I finally have a computer that works and internet at home so I feel fully connected! In my last post I mentioned that I am trying to detach from my A in jail by getting back in the dating world. That being said I do still talk to the A and at times tell him about my new dating life. ...	Codependent	5	619	Jun 12, 2008 by round3
	Insight needed (Preview) This is my first post here, but I could use some insight into my problem. Husband is currently recovering and has 3 years of sobriety in. Good news BUT - he has recently started going to meetings with increased frequency - not a bad thing. However, he is taking a woman who is also in the program with hi...	painthorse60	7	406	Jun 12, 2008 by mags
	trust issues (Preview) Yes, its been one of those days. At present I am working on trying to recruit students to a good evening ba programme which will offer alternatives to studying entirely on campus. I have done a good job. Today my boss tell me my name is being mentioned too much and he has been advised to leave me out of repor...	maire rua	2	390	Jun 11, 2008 by Jerry F
	Back again (Preview) I just wanted to say hello , I have been away from alanon online for about a year. This is a different group and appears very nice and not religious like the other group I was with. I have been married to the A 26 years, but Im not here to talk about him, I have done alanon for a number of years and I hope I can sti...	Bettina	1	372	Jun 11, 2008 by Jerry F
	stop me before I shoot (a nasty email) (Preview) Hi Friends, Well, I received my son's report card today and I am not happy. So, I am typing out the grades to send to my AH and feeling kinda nasty. I've been so good (relatively speaking) in my actions and words and am just feeling the need to let my AH know I think he is a selfish b*****d. I want to tell him t...	Loupiness	8	665	Jun 11, 2008 by Jerry F
	Who got a new puppy recently? (Preview) I've been away for a while, but just got an invite (via e-mail from MIP) to come back!!! A while back someone said they were getting a new puppy. I cannot remember who it was, but I am wondering how it is going with the new baby? I am so happy to have been invited back... and anyone who hasn't yet tried the on...	ESH	3	367	Jun 11, 2008 by ESH
	It has been forever since I posted here (Preview) but I got an email today from the group and thought I should pop my head in. I read a lot here on my journey with my A. I cried so many tears, fought so hard, loved unconditionally, tried so hard not to blame. He died, almost a year ago now. He was drinking again, lying about it - I caught him at it again.. told...	GreenGem	4	453	Jun 11, 2008 by maresie
	new and scared (Preview) Too many stories to tell about how I got here, and I'm sure you've lived them all before, but this is the first time I'm seeking help. I do have a first appointment with a therapist next week, but something inside me can't wait. Long story short: My husband of 1 year is alcoholic. I guess he always has been,...	jdspencer	7	443	Jun 11, 2008 by Bettina
	Unaware even still HP is there! (Preview) Sometimes HP gives us what we need, when we need it and we are not even aware. With my work I have recently encountered someone that is in charge of the system that pays me and makes referrals to me. I saw red flags the first meeting with him,instead of just walking away and not accepting business from his...	glad	1	438	Jun 11, 2008 by Jen
	Should I say anything or not??? (Preview) Hello everyone!! AH is home from his stay in jail/work release. Has been since Saturday. He hasn't drank much, a couple beers the day he got home. Anyways, he tells me tonight "Just so you know, if I want to have a couple beers at night, I'm gonna." I tell him that I can't control what he d...	tma0413	11	682	Jun 11, 2008 by tma0413
	Half hearted answer. (Preview) As previous post stated I told A B/F I could not live any longer with Active drinking without recovery program for both of us. Emotional distance. He stated he would go to AA and (sort of ) indicated he would try an AA related counseling program. ( I really didn't get a strong idea of what he thinks or feels...	glad	6	416	Jun 11, 2008 by intothewoods
	Sobriety (Preview) Sooooo.....this is sobriety? I don't know that I like it! My A's still pushing my buttons(I'm letting him!) He's done four weeks of rehab, four weeks ago and now he knows it all!!! I need to get more ftf meetings in. He is seeing problems that have always been there for the first time and wading in to fix th...	paulaque	4	374	Jun 11, 2008 by Jerry F
	drinking again (Preview) i was married to my a for 17 pretty miserable years, cheating, lying, spending money, dui, etc. then he left me for another woman. when i filed for divorce he begged me to take him back. i prayed about it and felt thats what i should do. he went to aa, quit drinking, we went to church and got saved, hung out...	connie marie	4	483	Jun 10, 2008 by Tuggboat
	New online (Preview) Hello, John sent me an email this morning and I decided to take him up on the offer. I have been in Al-Anon for about 23 years. I have held many service positions. Right now I am the District Rep. for my district. I was the DR. ten years ago, when there was a lot of people in the program and a lot more meetin...	Cad	5	318	Jun 10, 2008 by SuSUN
	any grandmothers out there?? (Preview) I apparently have been in a conflict with my oldest son. His actions so remind me of my exA. He has shown me not much respect. I have detached...but have left a few messages, because I want to see my Gkids. No response....It has been over a month. This is not fair to the kids..we spent so much time together...	meagain	7	293	Jun 10, 2008 by adc3041
	It's all gone in an eye blink (Preview) Hi everyone. I'm new to the board. My friend is 19 yrs clean and has been a godsend to me. So here's my story... Both my sons are 21 and 18. I'm in a second marriage on 4 years now to a wonderful and loving man. We were introduced by my oldest and his middle son. My oldest son Nick (now 21) has always been d...	debbi	9	485	Jun 10, 2008 by Bettina
	I'm Back!!! And this isn't a good thing! (Preview) So here I am again. It has been a LONG time since I have been on here. Some of you may remember me...some don't know me at all. History: I married my highschool sweetheart when I was 18 and pregnant in the 12th grade. We were married for 15 years. We had a son and daughter in that time, ages now 15 yo son in A...	QOD	13	492	Jun 10, 2008 by Bettina
	how codependence distorted my reality (Preview) I'm at a place not where I am more interested in what I did in the relationship(s) that what the A did. I'm saying that not to minimize what he did (obviously it was incredibly self destructive) but to look at what did I do. Overtime and reading I'm really seeing that when I was in rescue mode, in victim mod...	maresie	6	1186	Jun 10, 2008 by maresie
	Hard Time Dealing (My Story) (Preview) I feel lost right now. I am the son of an A and I am sitting here watching a family fall apart and there is nothing I can do about it. My Father, who in hindsight probably was always an alcoholic but had always been able to put on the brakes when things started getting out of hand can't now. For the past 18 mo...	shawn306	9	535	Jun 10, 2008 by Cad
	changing the focus (Preview) I had a rough week last week. Thus, I have been trying to make a conscious effort thie past few days, mostly by prayer, to get my emotions away from my AH and onto myself and my kids. Uhhh, and its just as difficult as I thought it would be. Now I am finding myself getting mad. What set me off first thing this...	Loupiness	5	380	Jun 10, 2008 by carolinagirl
	Prayers please. (Preview) (((((Family)))), Hubby and I could really use lots of prayers right now. It has nothing to do with his drinking (or not). He has some health issues and it doesn't look good right now. No one knows besides his Dad and myself. I found out yesterday. He's been carrying this around for almost 10 months...	Karilynn	17	503	Jun 10, 2008 by lebe27
	I AM Nuts! (Preview) ... one word or a phrase can set me off by anyone that knows me. I am very emotional and most days, honestly am pretty reactive. So the days when I'm cool, calm, collected are the rare ones... and just b/c I don't outwardly say any thing, my brain is likely having a nutty conversation all by itself. Then...	kitty	4	411	Jun 10, 2008 by stariana
	small update (Preview) Hi, thank you for all your support and words.I read them all over and over.The thoughts also come up in my head. Son called me, we had a nice normal conversation. I told him thank you for callind. He said if this is what it takes I will keep checking in. Was soooooo nice. Daughter apologised then went on to s...	debilyn	3	290	Jun 10, 2008 by Rita G
	New, and introduction (Preview) Hi, My name is Bobbi. I am married to an alcoholic, and also the adult child of an alcoholic (my Dad who died when I was 19). I have been married for 2 years to my AH, but we lived together for 2 before that. He is verbally abusive when he drinks, and I reached my breaking point with all of it. I told him about...	BK911	7	591	Jun 10, 2008 by RLC
	The weekend (Preview) I took my kids to the beach on Saturday. A guy friend and his 7 yo son went with us. I gave my son the option to stay with his dad instead of going with us. He doesn't really care for the beach or the heat and sand. So he called his dad, of course he didn't get an answer at 8:00 AM. He decided to go with us, said...	QOD	4	323	Jun 10, 2008 by Karilynn
	Expectations (Preview) (((family))) I want to pass along some ESH that may be valuable. Collectively, we need to get past the question of "why?". Why does he/she __________? That blank can be anything for them; however, it is a path that leads to the dangerous places in my head. I have found that keeping the fo...	CJ	7	425	Jun 10, 2008 by Andrea12
	Live the question (Preview) Hi Alanoners , So glad that you are always here. I went to my f2f meeting this morning. Right before the meeting my AHSober calls me. He did it again. I thought we agreed to met to have supper with our son home from college. He was pleasant enough and then on the phone, he bombed me. He made an offer on land wit...	nmike	3	483	Jun 10, 2008 by Andrea12
	Ups and downs and thank you's and prayer request (Preview) I want to thank everyone for the lovely and very encouraging responses to my recent posts and for the lovely birthday wishes that you all expressed. The after glow certainly got me through the rest of last week. This week, however, is a different kettle of fish and tomorrow is going to be very testing, s...	Suzannah	2	282	Jun 9, 2008 by Suzannah
	asking for hugs of love and light for me (Preview) just checking in with my mip family, i have a lot to post about, there is a little chaos going on right now so i don't have much time to type. when i stepped back from the situation with my ah and took myself out to look at me, my mind started to get alittle clear, i love my self and there are people out there tha...	charr	7	556	Jun 9, 2008 by carosie
	June Meeting Minutes (Preview) JUNE 1, 2008 MEETING MINUTES Of MIRACLES IN PROGRESS ALANON GROUP Madam Chair opened the meeting with the Serenity Prayer. Madam Chair then posted an outline of the evening's meeting agenda. Madam Chair noted that the Sec. was absent and asked for a volunteer to take meeting minutes in the Sec's a...	jonibaloni21	1	466	Jun 9, 2008 by thinkstoomuch
	Life is Interesting (Preview) Ok, so I quit my pain in the butt job and the next day I was home to receive a phone call from a local Doctor's office that wants me in for an interview on Wednesday. And now for the last few days I've been trying my hardest to keep my tounge in check because my MIND and TEMPER are working overtime due to hormon...	JenniferN	3	436	Jun 9, 2008 by kitty
	One Day Great, the Next Day Not So Much (Preview) I got a call from my son's school this morning. The school psychologist called him in to "talk" and see if she can figure out what some of his issues are and how we can help him. Well, needless to say, he wasn't there. He is skipping school today!!! And on top of that he told me this morning tha...	QOD	7	314	Jun 8, 2008 by Peggy7
	can someone who qualified as an "A" before ever drink "normally" (Preview) Hi. I sought out this board because I have a question and no one to answer it. My husband is from a family of alcoholics. He drank as a teenager, and then stopped when he was about 21 (DUI). Then started again for about 3 years before I met him, at 28. We've been married happily for 12 years, without any drink...	szeyamo	14	677	Jun 7, 2008 by maresie
	Enabling vs. Detachment (Preview) Hi all... we've had lots of great discussion on the board in recent weeks about the subjects of "enabling" and "detachment", so I thought I'd post some great information about both of these items, direct from an expert in the field..... Hope it clarifies some of the misconcep...	canadianguy	4	2810	Jun 7, 2008 by maresie
	44 years old, NOW WHAT? Family pizza epiphany... (Preview) Hello, So here I am all grown up and mature. Self reflective and saddned by my weaknesses and having developed skills to combat them to some extent. So my question is...? Yes, I grew up in isolation and chaos with two alcoholic parents who where both likely personality disordered or mentally ill in a...	junehouse	11	731	Jun 7, 2008 by maresie
	The fine line between love & hate (Preview) I have never posted my own topic on here, only replied to others. I seem to gain strength from reading other peoples problems and the responses they receive. So bear with me - I NEVER ask for help. One of my "wonderful" coping skills learned very young! ahahaha My life in a nutshell... daug...	stariana	8	654	Jun 7, 2008 by Loupiness
	Uggghhh, not again!!! (Preview) Well brothers and sisters, I am having a very difficult time, once again, with my oldest son. Who has graduated from high school. By the skin of his teeth. Now we are working on gettng grants, scholarships, or loans for his college education. None of which he wants to participate in. I have tried to talk...	wildthang86	9	508	Jun 7, 2008 by Peggy7
	just a thought (Preview) This morning in the meeting the topics were detachment and gratitude...as I sat here pondering the topics a thought came to mind. When I am detaching I can be in a mindset of gratitude. I know for me gratitude aids me in keeping my serenity. When I am feeling grateful for all I do have I do feel I'm in a pla...	carosie	5	399	Jun 7, 2008 by Peggy7
	progress, wallow, restart (Preview) Hi family, I know lots of the slogans now like aware, accept, action etc but my mode of operation seems to be progress, then the slip or regression that can follow sneaks up on me and I wallow so much I don't even realize what has come over me so I could give myself 15 min of self pity. It takes me days to becom...	ddub	5	484	Jun 7, 2008 by Peggy7
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The material presented here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method to exchange information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal level.