The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
Hello everyone, So much has happened in my life since I was here last. Just to introduce myself to those of you who don't know me, I am a 34 yr old mother of 5 children and a wife to a wonderful man. I am also the daughter to a mother who is addicted to additions. Pills, alcohol, gambling, men, sex, internet, on and on. My life as a child was a struggle, never felt good enough, always lying to cover the things she did, always felt like I was the biggest loser because of the stuff my mother was doing. I never had self confidence, never felt like I was worth anything, never wanted to get close to anyone for fear of them leaving me and when I did have a relationship, I smothered them and they left. I was always one extreme or the other, too mean or too loving. There was never any in between because I was never shown how "normal" people act. As I got older I went through alot of hard times with my mother. Trying to bail her out of a failed marraige due to her cheating, trying to help her get on her feet, picking her up when she was down. Through all this, I forgot about what was most important to me, my children and my husband. As much as I loved my mother and needed her in my life, I would have rathered go on without her, then have her their in the state she was in. It took me a long time to realize that she was the only one who could change her life, right her wrongs...I did all I could but it was never enough. You CANNOT change what you DO NOT acknowledge. These are the words I now live by. I miss her very much, and pray everyday for her to get better and find her way back to us, the family I know she once loved, but until then, I go on without her. I love my family and my friends and do the best I can to help those who need comfort while dealing with the same things I have had to deal with. Life does go on...things will get better...please have hope and strength. Make sure you take time for you...cry if you need to, laugh as often as you can, scream, hit something, find some release. I am here for you all...please feel free to message me anytime.
