The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
My A exhusband who I have been living with moved out a few weeks ago. He had been doing drugs instead of drinking because of an anklemonitor and really I think he left because he knew how bad he gets. I had noticed for the last few months he had been spending a sick amount of money and his cell rang at all hours. Now that he is out I keep picturing these vultures just flying around his head picking his pockets. Today I found out he got his ankle monitor off earlier this week and he is drinking. He is the type to drink till he passes out then stay that way until I load him up and take him to detox because he is having convulsions and I am afraid he will die. These vultures will not tell me where he is (I have talked to him on the phone but I was not able to make out what he was saying). Detaching is so hard. I know I have to let go and let God but it is so hard. I really didn't have a question, just needed the comfort of the post.
Yes it's hard...next to impossible to learn some of these changes. You have to start somewhere and hard is where we all start when attempting something new and which we have little understanding and experience. You can lean on the understanding and experience of the old timers until you get better at it.
Acceptance is also a good tool to learn now. Acceptance not of what and how the situation is but just of the fact of the situtation. It is what it is can be a simple philosophy and you can add to it. "It is what is is and I am powerless over it as it is really happening. I did not cause it. I cannot control it. I will not cure it. What is best and the only possible thing I can do with it is to turn it over to the God of my understanding who has all the power." Do this or something similar over and over until it becomes second nature and if you do get in range of him again turn him over to professionals. Let them come and get him where he is and accept the fact of the situation and your power -lessness and then turn yourself and your alcoholic/addict over to God again.
