Al-Anon Family Group - Al-Anon Family Group

rosielightshines · rosielightshines

How to Develop Detachment In order to become detached from a person, place or thing, you need to: First: Establish emotional boundaries between you and the person, place or thing with whom you have become overly enmeshed or dependent on. Second: Take back power over your feelings from persons, plac...

barisax · barisax

I know that Alanon is a program for people who love an alcoholic. Or as the reading states, there is a problem of alcoholism in a relative or friend. This implies love, but how many of us really hate alcoholics? As a sober alcoholic myself, it's hard for me to hate alcoholics, but I do find myself har...

barisax · barisax

I know it's nowhere near Christmas, but I just had thoughts of the classic Jimmy Stewart / Frank Capra movie "It's A Wonderful Life". It truly is a film with many lessons and a timeless message - and it occurred to me that there's a specific message in it for we codependents too. At the heart o...

trenchy · trenchy

Hello. I'm new to this board and have only been to a few al anon meetings. I know there is wisdom there, but I do get frustrated by the fact that most members do tend to be wives/significant other -as opposed to parents. There are some differences in issues and emotions that are just hard for me to ignore a...

shellyj123 · shellyj123

For some reason this week, that I can't wrap myself around, I am feeling quite "off". Almost like I can see myself in this huge lake, and I am swinging my arms, kicking my legs and fighting with everything I have JUST TO KEEP AFLOAT, and I am getting so worn out, and just don't feel like fighti...

N8SMOM · N8SMOM

I just want to apologize, I feel like I take, take, take from this board and hardly give. My emotions are such a roller coaster right now. I've been dealing with anxiety and panic attacks for a few months now, I lately I've been doing well (between therapy, medications, and meetings). Yesterday, my hu...

Melissa21 · Melissa21

I made it!! He left for work early so I started packing up he came home for a minute to get something and I just said I will be out by tonight. He didn'ts ay anything just left. Then 2 hours later we had the first truck loaded up. My friends brother calls and said he did something to the propane tank in the garag...

clara · clara

Daughter is supposed to come out to our house while we go out of town this week end to take care of our sick Beagle(bonnie lou), who thank God is much better(Beagle, not daughter). She loves Bonnie Lou and would take good care of her and give her the medicines she is still taking So, I called her 3 times y...

Robinks · Robinks

I just started my dyslexia training, the class is hard and so many roadblocks before the class started. Husband lost job, son two surgery's on his elbow. I am able to concentrate in class and do the homework so far.... Last night brother who spent three years in prison called., he was drinking.... what...

Jozie · Jozie

Well.. Bit of an Odd Day... Had a good day volunteering at the school... No Drama per say... Which was... Got back to the office, and started reading some of my Daily's... "Really Working Hard :)" Well I have been studing up on "Exceptance"... For I have been excepting my respons...

Jozie · Jozie

Ok, Yesterday in my travels on my Bike, as I was praying for my al-anon family I also made a HUGE Step back to ME :) When we left here on our bikes we really didn't know were we were heading, just the oppisite direction of the rain :) 99.9% of the time, my husband will ALWAYS ask... Were to You want to go.. and I A...

Jozie · Jozie

Ok, yesterday I took a ride on my Harley to see what God had in store for me. And WOW did I have an awesome day... I have to say tho that the first 50 miles all I could think of was my Al-anon family and how much you all mean to me... In my prayers yesterday I could not thinking of: Jerry... how you are always there...

mkn · mkn

My husband just left me. Both of his parents and all his grandparents were raging alcoholics and he also is a child abuse survivor. When we met - I was very ill. The first two years we were together he had to really take care of me. Then as I got better and better he seemed to get angry. Aggitated all of th...

maryam · maryam

I have been on this site off and on and have had many good responces which is appreciated. My b/f who is a severe alcoholic/ bipolor and then started smoking crack. I hung in there for app 8 yrs, stuck with him through prison, through many breakups i always went back until this time. Was bad enough with the...

shellyj123 · shellyj123

Today for some reason I got to thinking about EXABF and our relationship, how it started and ended. In the beginning I ran from him as soon as I found out he was an A, for fear. He pursued diligently, and fought to get me. He even told me at one point early on that I took all the fight out of him in the beginin...

Lilly Burn · Lilly Burn

I just needed to come to the board...Ive been so much stronger, getting out and about, meeting new people and re-establishing old friendships and importantly, sorting my finances etc and now I feel utterly flat. I have effectively cut my exAH out of my life, not responding to his various communicati...

Sincerely · Sincerely

Lucky #7. The interviewer closed the interview by saying to me: Well, Tonya....over the next 2 days I will be interviewing 18 people. You are number 7. And you are the first one that I am recommending to the second interview. You know what my friends???? This has inspired me so much! I am very confid...

Gailey · Gailey

My ex-dil decided that she would tell my granddaughters (8 & 6) the problem that daddy has. I agreed that they were probably old enough to tell them about the alcoholism. Here is the thing....ex-dil told A son that the oldest had a little anxiety about ex-dil and new husband having a beer the other n...

Inpain · Inpain

I'm slowly learning how I enable my dry drunk, to control me. He does it with ease and I need to stop. I need to stop running his calendar, and doing his business for him. I do step in from time to time still. Mainly when it affects my bottom line. I'm learning NOT to do this. It's not just my husband. I j...

maire rua · maire rua

Dear All, A-Father has asked me and initially i said i would take over step mother who is now dead, car and insure him as a named driver. I have checked this out and am not prepared to do same as if he has any problems, and he does he is eighty not declaring same however he got away with that, and it would affect...

N8SMOM · N8SMOM

Ever since my husband's Mother's Day stunt (which seems like days ago, but it was only yesterday), my son and I have been staying at my parents' condo. It's pretty nice here - everything is so clean, it doesn't smell of booze or pets, and the condo complex has a nice pool with a hot tub (it's like a mini v...

Sincerely · Sincerely

Hello Everyone! I've always searched 'monster' to find out what jobs are open in my profession around the state. Just to know what is happening. I've never applied for any until recently. I love my current job and I am pretty satisfied with my salary. BUT...a position was advertised by our main c...

JaneG · JaneG

Oh, sit back, it turned out to be a long one.... I feel like I am at a fork in the road. I left my AH 2 1/2 months ago. Things have been up and down. He is a recovering alcoholic and addict. Sober/dry for a year (relapsed a couple times recently). I took him out for his birthday. He said that he was ok with me havi...

clara · clara

First of all, thank you, thank you for all your prayers for my sweet Bonnie Lou(my Beagle). She seems to be a whole lot better. Not completely out of the woods, but not coughing so much. Praise God and all of you with your wonderful messages of concern. There is nothing like the love of a dear pet. And w...

Andrea12 · Andrea12

Hello Friends, It has been a long while since I have posted, just recently I have rejoined the human race. It feels wonderful, I just woke up on day and I could see life clearly for the first time in a very long long time and it feels great. It's been almost two years since Chuck ( my husband) has passed. I s...

tcia · tcia

I am so very new to this. I did attend some al-anon meetings what seems like it must be 20 years ago, but I have no idea what EHS is, etc. anyway... please understand how very much i love my mum, but her alcoholism is toxic for me. I live about 20 minutes from her and try to see her every sunday. EVERY time i se...

maresie · maresie

Every year on my birthday I craved that the A take notice and do something for me. One year he got drunk and took his friend out. I refused to go out with him when he was drunk. The next day he hosted a mother's day special for his mother and I went to it. That was some of the beginning of my detachment. I realis...

Melissa21 · Melissa21

I was just wondering if you all would share a few things you learned in Alanon you liked best and have helped you work your program! Here are my couple: Trust HP (still working on it though) No or low expectations for A's or anyone for that matter Mind my own business and worry about ME and no one else!

MissyPoo · MissyPoo

So hubby is now into week 4 of trying to live a new life without alcohol. He started off really great after detox (going to AA 2 times a week, repeating the slogans etc..). I was encouraged, but kept in the back of my mind "Hope for the best, plan for the worst". So this weekend he decides to d...

Saved By Grace · Saved By Grace

Hi All, This is the sequel to my original post from about two weeks or so ago. My bf eventually came around to talk. He told me that he realized that he really hurt me and didn't treat me right and he also realized that he let my son down (as he promised my son that he would not hurt me). He told me that he felt hor...

chefkim · chefkim

My husband is in a treatment institution for substance abuse, I don't know what to say or do for him I feel really selfish Like its his fault for being there what SHould I say or do for him?I want to be supportive but this is my first time at this any help or encouragement or friendly support would be accecpt...

Melissa21 · Melissa21

I've only been here about 5 months, have a WONDERFUL sponsor, went to one f2f meeting and can see progress in ME! My A is also a sex addict and I think at his worse right now. People keep telling me Oh I saw him at this bar with this person...I do't even care. I know he is sleeping with 3 other people and you know...

mia883 · mia883

We are looking for cheap Alanon books. Does anyone know where to purchase some cheap books with little transport expenses. These alanon books can be used or new, but must be cheap for purchase and transport? Mia

abbyal · abbyal

We are fortunate enough to have a 50 +yrs in program old timmer in our meeting who told this little joke the other nite So for moms who are homemakers with little ones this just might work for you, wish I had thought of this when I was alot younger. A young woman with 3 small children made sure that the home...

Loupiness · Loupiness

Our family tradition on Mother's Day during our married years was to work in the yard. It was what I wanted, and a day that I could expect everyone to pitch in and help, and not feel the slightest bit guilty about it This year my exAH asked if he could have the kids for a while on Sat to prepare for Sun. I let the...

farmgirlmay · farmgirlmay

My AH and I have been separated about 8 weeks. He moved out after he believed he was sober and stopped going to AA as soon as he moved out. His sister who is 11 years younger LOVES being able to control him and spend all his time with her. They have NEVER been close in fact she is her parents biological child...

Karilynn · Karilynn

This is a reprint of a post I did several years ago for my Mom (Toni as she was called) on Mother's Day. For all my Alanon Moms. I love you all. Mom, Even though we can't be together because God called you home when I was only 19, I wanted to thank you for still being there for me. Your life was far from perfect,...

Tiger2006 · Tiger2006

So...Scared. But ok. I got a job. In topeka. I'm moving. Again Yes. I'm scared. I'm scared of alot of things. But God bless america. I'm not dead yet. I'm not dead yet. I need y'all to remind me that I have the strength to do this again. Y'all got me through moving to KY. Things are different. My mom's fam...

debilyn · debilyn

I have not dated or even talked to any man since my AH. I have been alone for years now. So I go on this JW match site. sigh. NOT me to do this as you guys well know. I am in no way knowledgeable how to do this. I have always been persude. Did I spell that right? OK Chased. Being on my mountain the chances of meeting...

clara · clara

Our sweet Beagle, Bonnie Lou is very sick and probably will not be with us much longer. She is 12 years old; has congestive heart failure and now has bronchitus. Took her to the vet this morning and spent a ton of money(I would spend my last dime) for her meds. She is coughing and coughing. Yes, dogs c...

Tiger2006 · Tiger2006

Hey y'all, I'm doing ok. Y'all made a huge difference yesterday. I need to add a PS to yesterday: So my stepfather called Su afternoon and mediates. he agrees that it's my life, my move, etc. He suggests that I'm stressed ( duh) and when I get stressed I get a little dictatorial (ok, I can get that) and t...

cidiera · cidiera

I am the daughter of an alcoholic. My boyfriend is also, in my definition, an alcoholic. I have noticed that in the past year, I might also be an alcoholic. However, when I went to an alanon meeting, I could relate to everything they were saying about the frustrations and the effects that growing up in an...

shellyj123 · shellyj123

Thanks to everyone who responded to my last post, where EXABF sent me the Mom's day card. I realize that I do not need to know WHY he did it, nor his motivation-as I doubt even he does. However he does know me well enough to know that I am ALL about manners, always have been, so I will reply with a sho...

QOD · QOD

Last summer when things were getting increasingly difficult w/my teen son, my exAH started coming around more to help me with him. The more time we spent together, the more I realized I missed him. The good times with him. His laugh, his touch, his presence in general. I blame part of this on being a...

peacewithin · peacewithin

I don't know how to even start . We made a searching and fearless moral inventory of ourselves. How did you do it ? Please HELP !

Maria123 · Maria123

Just thought I would share for anyone/everyone who's from this area that next weekend is the Annual Massachusetts Alanon Conference "Awakening to Choices." If you are nearby, think about attending. The conferences are wonderful, a weekend of recovery with "those who understan...

cichlid6 · cichlid6

It's a wonderful magic trick, when I focus on you I disappear!

Sincerely · Sincerely

today was sooo sweet. we've planned this all week. and it couldn't not have gone any better. my a hubby boiled seafood for my a mom and my bestfriend and me today. good food, good fun and good family.....o happy day sincerely, tonya

Robinks · Robinks

Hi everyone - the first day of the beginning of my new life is here. I am going to school starting Monday. Two weeks and I will be able to tutor children who are dyslexic. I am really looking forward to this. I knew when I decided to do this, my husband would try to sabotague me. Well, I guess it is my HP throwin...

shellyj123 · shellyj123

This weekend was good and bad, mostly good with a dash of bad sprinkled in:). I was dreding the weekend at first, because Mom's day was yet another day that EXABF and I started a "tradition" and I hated the idea of facing it this year without him. Last year he bought me a new Mt. Bike and he...

Tiger2006 · Tiger2006

So, yesterday I call my mom, and ask for my step father's brother's number because he has a mega truck and can help move me. Before I know it, mom is in her victim mode, about how she & I were working together, how she & I were supposed to collaborate, how she & I, she & I, she & I.... S...

Holly09 · Holly09

Happy Mother's Day to all you amazing moms!!!

mia883 · mia883

Few weeks ago I had an Alanon meeting using Skype. The conference call included people from Sweden, Japan, Australia, Ireland, Thailand, USA. Everyonee was sharing similar things about the disease of alcoholism. To me alcoholism is world wide and is a pandemic with serious consequences for every...

aunitedway · aunitedway

first i want to say there is a fantastic book called "Boundaries" by cloud /townsend you can find it at amazon new or used... or at a local half price books for pretty darn cheap $. :))) it helped me understand My situation better and how to apply boundaries in my relationship...

princessloretta · princessloretta

Well kind of a continuation from the other post I posted the other day.... Wasnt sure to start a new topic or continue, but well here I am... I posted about my husbands DUI court case and how he hasnt learned to stop drinking. Well Friday, hmmm he is sitting around all day with that LOOK on his face, the look...

princessloretta · princessloretta

Yesterday my hubby went to court for his DUI he got in March. Well first off let me give a short background, I have posted several times on here, but for those who dont know, my husband is a binge drinker and goes months on a dry spell and then slowly starts the cycle again. I have been dealing with this for th...

maresie · maresie

I think I've spent my entire life stewing in resentment. Lately I've had to suffer someone in my class who seethes with resentment day and night. He can't bear to see anyone live when he is so unhappy. I don't doubt he's an alcoholic as there are many signs there. I have to say I had no idea how hard it wa...

newday · newday

My a-bf and I have been broken up for 2 years and recently started seeing each other again. He's still an A...but I miss him. I decided to set boundaries. One being, our time together would not involve anyone else...ie...family, kids etc. Just us. This means...no sleeping on my couch after an evening o...

Suzannah · Suzannah

Have no idea what you all saw...I wrote in English and could only see English...thank you Tom for reformatting it... I would love to see what you were all seeing! I blame the atmospheric pressure changes between England and the USA...hahaha I have no idea how you saw GREEK? I cannot write Greek and I can...

Hoot Nanny · Hoot Nanny

My mom is very "unique" to me. I don't know if anyone has a similar experience with their moms but I have so much experience with the downside of my relationship with my mom. Unfortunately, sometimes I think she has been less-than what I wanted her to be. I guess in some ways she let me down. ...

Topic		Started By	Replies	Views	Last Post
	How to Develop DETACHMENT (Preview) How to Develop Detachment In order to become detached from a person, place or thing, you need to: First: Establish emotional boundaries between you and the person, place or thing with whom you have become overly enmeshed or dependent on. Second: Take back power over your feelings from persons, plac...	rosielightshines	5	1200	May 14, 2009 by rosielightshines
	Alanons Who Hate Alcoholics (Preview) I know that Alanon is a program for people who love an alcoholic. Or as the reading states, there is a problem of alcoholism in a relative or friend. This implies love, but how many of us really hate alcoholics? As a sober alcoholic myself, it's hard for me to hate alcoholics, but I do find myself har...	barisax	16	2034	May 14, 2009 by MrsGratitude
	Who's Your Potter? (Preview) I know it's nowhere near Christmas, but I just had thoughts of the classic Jimmy Stewart / Frank Capra movie "It's A Wonderful Life". It truly is a film with many lessons and a timeless message - and it occurred to me that there's a specific message in it for we codependents too. At the heart o...	barisax	10	790	May 14, 2009 by MrsGratitude
	grown 'kids' and 'consequences vs control =confusion! (Preview) Hello. I'm new to this board and have only been to a few al anon meetings. I know there is wisdom there, but I do get frustrated by the fact that most members do tend to be wives/significant other -as opposed to parents. There are some differences in issues and emotions that are just hard for me to ignore a...	trenchy	13	2794	May 14, 2009 by trenchy
	Feel like I'm about to go under...... (Preview) For some reason this week, that I can't wrap myself around, I am feeling quite "off". Almost like I can see myself in this huge lake, and I am swinging my arms, kicking my legs and fighting with everything I have JUST TO KEEP AFLOAT, and I am getting so worn out, and just don't feel like fighti...	shellyj123	9	807	May 14, 2009 by RunnerChick
	Feeling Anxiety (Preview) I just want to apologize, I feel like I take, take, take from this board and hardly give. My emotions are such a roller coaster right now. I've been dealing with anxiety and panic attacks for a few months now, I lately I've been doing well (between therapy, medications, and meetings). Yesterday, my hu...	N8SMOM	5	526	May 14, 2009 by RunnerChick
	Update on my situation! (Preview) I made it!! He left for work early so I started packing up he came home for a minute to get something and I just said I will be out by tonight. He didn'ts ay anything just left. Then 2 hours later we had the first truck loaded up. My friends brother calls and said he did something to the propane tank in the garag...	Melissa21	10	809	May 14, 2009 by thinkstoomuch
	Sick of walking on egg shells!!! (Preview) Daughter is supposed to come out to our house while we go out of town this week end to take care of our sick Beagle(bonnie lou), who thank God is much better(Beagle, not daughter). She loves Bonnie Lou and would take good care of her and give her the medicines she is still taking So, I called her 3 times y...	clara	10	706	May 14, 2009 by Gailey
	Need ES&H (Preview) I just started my dyslexia training, the class is hard and so many roadblocks before the class started. Husband lost job, son two surgery's on his elbow. I am able to concentrate in class and do the homework so far.... Last night brother who spent three years in prison called., he was drinking.... what...	Robinks	5	920	May 14, 2009 by Robinks
	Could my Prayers Be Answered????? (Preview) Well.. Bit of an Odd Day... Had a good day volunteering at the school... No Drama per say... Which was... Got back to the office, and started reading some of my Daily's... "Really Working Hard :)" Well I have been studing up on "Exceptance"... For I have been excepting my respons...	Jozie	4	790	May 14, 2009 by Christy
	My Newest Journey... ;) (Preview) Ok, Yesterday in my travels on my Bike, as I was praying for my al-anon family I also made a HUGE Step back to ME :) When we left here on our bikes we really didn't know were we were heading, just the oppisite direction of the rain :) 99.9% of the time, my husband will ALWAYS ask... Were to You want to go.. and I A...	Jozie	7	805	May 13, 2009 by Suzannah
	Lovin my MIP Family :) (Preview) Ok, yesterday I took a ride on my Harley to see what God had in store for me. And WOW did I have an awesome day... I have to say tho that the first 50 miles all I could think of was my Al-anon family and how much you all mean to me... In my prayers yesterday I could not thinking of: Jerry... how you are always there...	Jozie	4	768	May 13, 2009 by Suzannah
	Do I belong here? (Preview) My husband just left me. Both of his parents and all his grandparents were raging alcoholics and he also is a child abuse survivor. When we met - I was very ill. The first two years we were together he had to really take care of me. Then as I got better and better he seemed to get angry. Aggitated all of th...	mkn	8	933	May 13, 2009 by maresie
	should i write a letter????? (Preview) I have been on this site off and on and have had many good responces which is appreciated. My b/f who is a severe alcoholic/ bipolor and then started smoking crack. I hung in there for app 8 yrs, stuck with him through prison, through many breakups i always went back until this time. Was bad enough with the...	maryam	8	845	May 13, 2009 by Jozie
	Dealing with feelings of guilt for my part in it all. (Preview) Today for some reason I got to thinking about EXABF and our relationship, how it started and ended. In the beginning I ran from him as soon as I found out he was an A, for fear. He pursued diligently, and fought to get me. He even told me at one point early on that I took all the fight out of him in the beginin...	shellyj123	8	824	May 13, 2009 by kitty
	Feeling low again (Preview) I just needed to come to the board...Ive been so much stronger, getting out and about, meeting new people and re-establishing old friendships and importantly, sorting my finances etc and now I feel utterly flat. I have effectively cut my exAH out of my life, not responding to his various communicati...	Lilly Burn	7	862	May 13, 2009 by Lilly Burn
	Phone Job Interview -- Update (Preview) Lucky #7. The interviewer closed the interview by saying to me: Well, Tonya....over the next 2 days I will be interviewing 18 people. You are number 7. And you are the first one that I am recommending to the second interview. You know what my friends???? This has inspired me so much! I am very confid...	Sincerely	2	412	May 13, 2009 by Jean4444
	just a little venting here (Preview) My ex-dil decided that she would tell my granddaughters (8 & 6) the problem that daddy has. I agreed that they were probably old enough to tell them about the alcoholism. Here is the thing....ex-dil told A son that the oldest had a little anxiety about ex-dil and new husband having a beer the other n...	Gailey	8	464	May 13, 2009 by N8SMOM
	WHY am I such an enabler!? I really need to stop. (Preview) I'm slowly learning how I enable my dry drunk, to control me. He does it with ease and I need to stop. I need to stop running his calendar, and doing his business for him. I do step in from time to time still. Mainly when it affects my bottom line. I'm learning NOT to do this. It's not just my husband. I j...	Inpain	4	868	May 12, 2009 by Sincerely
	A-Father's request (Preview) Dear All, A-Father has asked me and initially i said i would take over step mother who is now dead, car and insure him as a named driver. I have checked this out and am not prepared to do same as if he has any problems, and he does he is eighty not declaring same however he got away with that, and it would affect...	maire rua	1	750	May 12, 2009 by rosielightshines
	Don't Want to Go Home (Preview) Ever since my husband's Mother's Day stunt (which seems like days ago, but it was only yesterday), my son and I have been staying at my parents' condo. It's pretty nice here - everything is so clean, it doesn't smell of booze or pets, and the condo complex has a nice pool with a hot tub (it's like a mini v...	N8SMOM	7	893	May 12, 2009 by maire rua
	Phone Job Interview (Preview) Hello Everyone! I've always searched 'monster' to find out what jobs are open in my profession around the state. Just to know what is happening. I've never applied for any until recently. I love my current job and I am pretty satisfied with my salary. BUT...a position was advertised by our main c...	Sincerely	8	918	May 12, 2009 by RLC
	Hard to stay, hard to let go (Preview) Oh, sit back, it turned out to be a long one.... I feel like I am at a fork in the road. I left my AH 2 1/2 months ago. Things have been up and down. He is a recovering alcoholic and addict. Sober/dry for a year (relapsed a couple times recently). I took him out for his birthday. He said that he was ok with me havi...	JaneG	9	811	May 12, 2009 by JaneG
	What a wonderful, wonderful day!!! And I mean it!!! (Preview) First of all, thank you, thank you for all your prayers for my sweet Bonnie Lou(my Beagle). She seems to be a whole lot better. Not completely out of the woods, but not coughing so much. Praise God and all of you with your wonderful messages of concern. There is nothing like the love of a dear pet. And w...	clara	5	667	May 12, 2009 by Karilynn
	Rejoining the human race (Preview) Hello Friends, It has been a long while since I have posted, just recently I have rejoined the human race. It feels wonderful, I just woke up on day and I could see life clearly for the first time in a very long long time and it feels great. It's been almost two years since Chuck ( my husband) has passed. I s...	Andrea12	5	716	May 12, 2009 by Karilynn
	horrible mother's day - an intro (Preview) I am so very new to this. I did attend some al-anon meetings what seems like it must be 20 years ago, but I have no idea what EHS is, etc. anyway... please understand how very much i love my mum, but her alcoholism is toxic for me. I live about 20 minutes from her and try to see her every sunday. EVERY time i se...	tcia	5	718	May 12, 2009 by maresie
	post birthday insight - my birthday was Saturday. (Preview) Every year on my birthday I craved that the A take notice and do something for me. One year he got drunk and took his friend out. I refused to go out with him when he was drunk. The next day he hosted a mother's day special for his mother and I went to it. That was some of the beginning of my detachment. I realis...	maresie	7	686	May 12, 2009 by Peggy7
	Few Alanon things you have learned and like best! (Preview) I was just wondering if you all would share a few things you learned in Alanon you liked best and have helped you work your program! Here are my couple: Trust HP (still working on it though) No or low expectations for A's or anyone for that matter Mind my own business and worry about ME and no one else!	Melissa21	11	1309	May 12, 2009 by gngcrzy
	This program really works! (Preview) So hubby is now into week 4 of trying to live a new life without alcohol. He started off really great after detox (going to AA 2 times a week, repeating the slogans etc..). I was encouraged, but kept in the back of my mind "Hope for the best, plan for the worst". So this weekend he decides to d...	MissyPoo	8	769	May 12, 2009 by Jerry F
	Dry Drunk Detachment & Getting Better at It Part II (Preview) Hi All, This is the sequel to my original post from about two weeks or so ago. My bf eventually came around to talk. He told me that he realized that he really hurt me and didn't treat me right and he also realized that he let my son down (as he promised my son that he would not hurt me). He told me that he felt hor...	Saved By Grace	1	896	May 11, 2009 by Jerry F
	hello I am new and so alone (Preview) My husband is in a treatment institution for substance abuse, I don't know what to say or do for him I feel really selfish Like its his fault for being there what SHould I say or do for him?I want to be supportive but this is my first time at this any help or encouragement or friendly support would be accecpt...	chefkim	10	1018	May 11, 2009 by Sincerely
	This program really does work! My share :)...Updated 3rd post!!! (Preview) I've only been here about 5 months, have a WONDERFUL sponsor, went to one f2f meeting and can see progress in ME! My A is also a sex addict and I think at his worse right now. People keep telling me Oh I saw him at this bar with this person...I do't even care. I know he is sleeping with 3 other people and you know...	Melissa21	11	1864	May 11, 2009 by Sincerely
	Looking for cheap Alanon books, delivery Australia? (Preview) We are looking for cheap Alanon books. Does anyone know where to purchase some cheap books with little transport expenses. These alanon books can be used or new, but must be cheap for purchase and transport? Mia	mia883	6	2703	May 11, 2009 by mia883
	Wishing I had heard this one 20 yrs ago (Preview) We are fortunate enough to have a 50 +yrs in program old timmer in our meeting who told this little joke the other nite So for moms who are homemakers with little ones this just might work for you, wish I had thought of this when I was alot younger. A young woman with 3 small children made sure that the home...	abbyal	6	547	May 11, 2009 by Andrea12
	seeing it for what it is, not what I want it to be... (Preview) Our family tradition on Mother's Day during our married years was to work in the yard. It was what I wanted, and a day that I could expect everyone to pitch in and help, and not feel the slightest bit guilty about it This year my exAH asked if he could have the kids for a while on Sat to prepare for Sun. I let the...	Loupiness	6	664	May 11, 2009 by Jozie
	DURING SEPARATION - SISTER IN LAW IS OUT OF CONTROL!!! (Preview) My AH and I have been separated about 8 weeks. He moved out after he believed he was sober and stopped going to AA as soon as he moved out. His sister who is 11 years younger LOVES being able to control him and spend all his time with her. They have NEVER been close in fact she is her parents biological child...	farmgirlmay	6	777	May 11, 2009 by maresie
	For my Mom (Preview) This is a reprint of a post I did several years ago for my Mom (Toni as she was called) on Mother's Day. For all my Alanon Moms. I love you all. *Mom,* *Even though we can't be together because God called you home when I was only 19, I wanted to thank you for still being there for me. Your life was far from perfect,...*	Karilynn	4	499	May 11, 2009 by Andrea12
	Moving--Again! (Preview) So...Scared. But ok. I got a job. In topeka. I'm moving. Again Yes. I'm scared. I'm scared of alot of things. But God bless america. I'm not dead yet. I'm not dead yet. I need y'all to remind me that I have the strength to do this again. Y'all got me through moving to KY. Things are different. My mom's fam...	Tiger2006	8	537	May 11, 2009 by maresie
	Ok I feel so stupid (Preview) I have not dated or even talked to any man since my AH. I have been alone for years now. So I go on this JW match site. sigh. NOT me to do this as you guys well know. I am in no way knowledgeable how to do this. I have always been persude. Did I spell that right? OK Chased. Being on my mountain the chances of meeting...	debilyn	15	720	May 11, 2009 by maresie
	My sweet Beagle is very sick; what next??? (Preview) Our sweet Beagle, Bonnie Lou is very sick and probably will not be with us much longer. She is 12 years old; has congestive heart failure and now has bronchitus. Took her to the vet this morning and spent a ton of money(I would spend my last dime) for her meds. She is coughing and coughing. Yes, dogs c...	clara	11	861	May 11, 2009 by maresie
	Monday, Monday :) (Preview) Hey y'all, I'm doing ok. Y'all made a huge difference yesterday. I need to add a PS to yesterday: So my stepfather called Su afternoon and mediates. he agrees that it's my life, my move, etc. He suggests that I'm stressed ( duh) and when I get stressed I get a little dictatorial (ok, I can get that) and t...	Tiger2006	2	839	May 11, 2009 by rosielightshines
	can I do both? (Preview) I am the daughter of an alcoholic. My boyfriend is also, in my definition, an alcoholic. I have noticed that in the past year, I might also be an alcoholic. However, when I went to an alanon meeting, I could relate to everything they were saying about the frustrations and the effects that growing up in an...	cidiera	8	844	May 11, 2009 by rosielightshines
	Baby steps today, but moving forward not backward... (Preview) Thanks to everyone who responded to my last post, where EXABF sent me the Mom's day card. I realize that I do not need to know WHY he did it, nor his motivation-as I doubt even he does. However he does know me well enough to know that I am ALL about manners, always have been, so I will reply with a sho...	shellyj123	3	712	May 11, 2009 by rosielightshines
	Oh the Ups and Downs (Preview) Last summer when things were getting increasingly difficult w/my teen son, my exAH started coming around more to help me with him. The more time we spent together, the more I realized I missed him. The good times with him. His laugh, his touch, his presence in general. I blame part of this on being a...	QOD	12	852	May 11, 2009 by QOD
	Need Help On Step 4 (Preview) I don't know how to even start . We made a searching and fearless moral inventory of ourselves. How did you do it ? Please HELP !	peacewithin	8	4696	May 11, 2009 by kitty
	Awakening To Choices - Massachusetts Alanon Conference, May 15 - 17, 2009 (Preview) Just thought I would share for anyone/everyone who's from this area that next weekend is the Annual Massachusetts Alanon Conference "Awakening to Choices." If you are nearby, think about attending. The conferences are wonderful, a weekend of recovery with "those who understan...	Maria123	4	711	May 11, 2009 by thinkstoomuch
	Focus, focus hocus pocus (Preview) It's a wonderful magic trick, when I focus on you I disappear!	cichlid6	4	693	May 11, 2009 by RunnerChick
	O' happy day..with A mom and A hubby.. (Preview) today was sooo sweet. we've planned this all week. and it couldn't not have gone any better. my a hubby boiled seafood for my a mom and my bestfriend and me today. good food, good fun and good family.....o happy day sincerely, tonya	Sincerely	5	546	May 11, 2009 by Loupiness
	Alcoholic Behavior (Preview) Hi everyone - the first day of the beginning of my new life is here. I am going to school starting Monday. Two weeks and I will be able to tutor children who are dyslexic. I am really looking forward to this. I knew when I decided to do this, my husband would try to sabotague me. Well, I guess it is my HP throwin...	Robinks	9	582	May 11, 2009 by Robinks
	Wanting to let go but still find myself holding on a little at times....Trying to understand EXABF's motivation. (Preview) This weekend was good and bad, mostly good with a dash of bad sprinkled in:). I was dreding the weekend at first, because Mom's day was yet another day that EXABF and I started a "tradition" and I hated the idea of facing it this year without him. Last year he bought me a new Mt. Bike and he...	shellyj123	6	504	May 11, 2009 by Mariner
	Mother's day and moving disasters... (Preview) So, yesterday I call my mom, and ask for my step father's brother's number because he has a mega truck and can help move me. Before I know it, mom is in her victim mode, about how she & I were working together, how she & I were supposed to collaborate, how she & I, she & I, she & I.... S...	Tiger2006	8	478	May 10, 2009 by Jean4444
	Mother's Day (Preview) Happy Mother's Day to all you amazing moms!!!	Holly09	1	516	May 10, 2009 by Jozie
	Having an Alanon Skype meeting , I realised alcoholism is a WWW pandemic? (Preview) Few weeks ago I had an Alanon meeting using Skype. The conference call included people from Sweden, Japan, Australia, Ireland, Thailand, USA. Everyonee was sharing similar things about the disease of alcoholism. To me alcoholism is world wide and is a pandemic with serious consequences for every...	mia883	4	968	May 10, 2009 by mia883
	Boundaries... Detachment. (Preview) first i want to say there is a fantastic book called "Boundaries" by cloud /townsend you can find it at amazon new or used... or at a local half price books for pretty darn cheap $. :))) it helped me understand My situation better and how to apply boundaries in my relationship...	aunitedway	3	671	May 10, 2009 by beths
	I cannot believe I did this. What was I thinking. (Preview) Well kind of a continuation from the other post I posted the other day.... Wasnt sure to start a new topic or continue, but well here I am... I posted about my husbands DUI court case and how he hasnt learned to stop drinking. Well Friday, hmmm he is sitting around all day with that LOOK on his face, the look...	princessloretta	4	857	May 10, 2009 by maire rua
	Hubby went to court for DUI, ( kinda long, sorry, really need to vent) (Preview) Yesterday my hubby went to court for his DUI he got in March. Well first off let me give a short background, I have posted several times on here, but for those who dont know, my husband is a binge drinker and goes months on a dry spell and then slowly starts the cycle again. I have been dealing with this for th...	princessloretta	9	1451	May 10, 2009 by princessloretta
	Stewing in resentment. (Preview) I think I've spent my entire life stewing in resentment. Lately I've had to suffer someone in my class who seethes with resentment day and night. He can't bear to see anyone live when he is so unhappy. I don't doubt he's an alcoholic as there are many signs there. I have to say I had no idea how hard it wa...	maresie	10	460	May 10, 2009 by leigha
	A's do not understand boundaries (Preview) My a-bf and I have been broken up for 2 years and recently started seeing each other again. He's still an A...but I miss him. I decided to set boundaries. One being, our time together would not involve anyone else...ie...family, kids etc. Just us. This means...no sleeping on my couch after an evening o...	newday	7	1023	May 10, 2009 by rosielightshines
	My Apologies ...still no idea what you all saw... I was writing in ENGLISH as usual. LOL (Preview) Have no idea what you all saw...I wrote in English and could only see English...thank you Tom for reformatting it... I would love to see what you were all seeing! I blame the atmospheric pressure changes between England and the USA...hahaha I have no idea how you saw GREEK? I cannot write Greek and I can...	Suzannah	4	554	May 10, 2009 by chezza
	A little about my mom (Preview) My mom is very "unique" to me. I don't know if anyone has a similar experience with their moms but I have so much experience with the downside of my relationship with my mom. Unfortunately, sometimes I think she has been less-than what I wanted her to be. I guess in some ways she let me down. ...	Hoot Nanny	1	599	May 9, 2009 by Rora
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The material presented here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method to exchange information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal level.