Al-Anon Family Group - Al-Anon Family Group

carolinagirl · carolinagirl

My exAH had moved to CA from SC to be with an exgf. Called me yesterday to tell me he loves me and misses me... Come to find out last night he's been kicked out and is basically on the street there and doesn't know what to do. He's using again, drinking again and the move has been very bad for him but he loves...

queenie88 · queenie88

i still haven't been able to forgive myself for what i did in my relationship with xabf. 1) he was still logged on to his email account. i looked at an email exchange between him and his ex. i lied to him about it, then confessed the truth three days later. 2) after one of his binge nights during which i felt v...

Rora · Rora

As some of you may know, my aH and I have been separated since last Oct. I always hoped that we'd each get better and we'd be able to reconcile and live happily ever after. And, as I stay connected with my reality, the chance of that happening seems less and less. I was thinking about how I ended up here in t...

AnneCognito · AnneCognito

Hello, everyone - As the subject line says, I'm a newbie here. I've been dating a guy that's 2 years sober (I apologize for not having all the acronyms down yet, feel free to enlighten me). He's actively working the program, and has been as long as I've known him (about a year and a half). He's a very soci...

Saved By Grace · Saved By Grace

Hi Family, Just wanted to drop in and share some experience, strength and hope. For about three weeks I have been trying to address an issue in my relationship with my dry drunk BF. There is an intimacy issue that is very pertinent and when I first addressed it with him, he said that the lack of intimacy wa...

Aloha · Aloha

I surprised myself the other day when I heard some commercial about financial planning drone on in the background as I was doing some chores. The surprise? I actually thought to myself "Hey... that's a good idea. I think I could really use some professional assistance with planning out my finan...

Jozie · Jozie

So here I sit... Migrain, sorrow, hate, heartache, projecting, lothing, regretting, and down right Pissed off to be completely honest... Tonight was the LAST night with the kids, and WHY "I" thought it would be differant is beyond me.. We had a great day with the kids at my sisters house, w...

Overcome · Overcome

Well my husband informed me this week that his upper GI that they wanted him to take was going to cost him $250 upfront and then $1200 total. That doesn't include the throat endoscopy they wanted him to have or the blood work. He just said, "I don't have the money for that." and I said, "bu...

blender_girl · blender_girl

A dear friend of mine sent this to me - I loved it and thought I would share it with you: It takes strength to fit in. It takes courage to stand out. It takes strength to feel a friend's pain. It takes courage to feel your own pain. It takes strength to endure abuse. It takes courage to stop it. It takes strengt...

Hawk120025 · Hawk120025

It's been horrible, actually. No matter how much I tried to detach and anti-romanticize my ex, ultimately my mind has wandered back to thoughts of him. And I miss him. So I've been reading.....searching.....for something to speak tp me. I found this on the Getting Them Sober web site which I hav...

Jozie · Jozie

Well today I got up not feeling very rested at all, still strung out from the week of events that had been layed before me...But got up just the same... Husband came home tipsy last night, I found my best defense was to "Mind my OWN Business" & just let him pass out without words... So that i...

Mobirdie · Mobirdie

I am hosting a conference speaker this weekend. Any bits of wisdom to make it a success besides just follow her lead as to her needs if any? I plan to take her to dinner on Friday night and lunch on Saturday after she speaks. I have never met her before but have talked with her on the phone. ESH will be appre...

rach04 · rach04

I am here with the summer break for the kids and ah now being sober for 6 weeks and trying to fill his time up with meetings and gym etc ive had hardly a moment. Last week i did something for me that ive been wanting to do for the last 7 years i decorated my bedroom it took me 3 days but that was 3 days upstairs away...

flumpy · flumpy

Hiya all, WOW long time no see!, First of all I hope your all doing as well as you can. Second of all...How can I get into chat? it wont load for me for some reason and I wanna get in!! Grrrrrrr Anyone know? Love Katie.xx

tea2 · tea2

Canadianguy! Wishes for a wonderful serenity filled year Tom

John · John

I wrote this letter to a member of MIP tonight, and want everyone to clearly understand my position and that it is not up for negoiation, nor will I allow it to be compromised. I will not identify who it was sent to. **************** Hi (Omitted), Just been very busy lately. Been stopping in the room n...

coloradojoye · coloradojoye

I got divorced to an alcoholic 7 yrs ago which my 2 oldest kids now 19 and 16 really resent their dad for the things he did and don't see him much. But my now 13 yr old was very young and didn't see a lot of what his dad did. He spends one night a week with his father and 9 out of 10 times his dad ends up drunk and he cal...

Loupiness · Loupiness

I don't know if it is fuzzy thinking (lack of sleep), stupidity or intimidation, but I have a long standing habit of making a decision, then thinking about it, questioning myself, wanting to change my mind after it is too late, being resentful, and ultimately completely responsible for wrecking my...

Hawk120025 · Hawk120025

It's been an awfully tempting day......thinking (obsessing) a bit more than I should today. My thoughts: In my mind keeping track of what he'd be doing at a particular time of day. "He's probably getting ready for work about now." "I wonder if he's spoke to his parents yet today.&...

Mobirdie · Mobirdie

WOW what a fantastic Summer Hummer. All of the speakers were awesome, we are all tired to the bone but at the same time rejuvenated in our programs. I did take a really nice candle to the speakers room for when she arrived and she loved it (or said she did) I found one that came in it's own decorated box f...

gngcrzy · gngcrzy

I met up with my qualifier a couple days ago. I cut off contact in the winter and only recently started having any contact with him. He's sober but crazy these day. (crazy al-anon style, IMO- who says codependence isn't life-threatening?) Anyway, he was crazier than ever. I am so sad because it's final...

shellyj123 · shellyj123

Wanted to stop by and let each and everyone one of you know how important you have become in my life, and that I pray for this place daily~without it I'm not certain I'd still be around. I have an anniversay party-20 years-tomorrow with my home group and am really excited about it! Going to be food, fellow...

shelly1376 · shelly1376

Hi there, I'm new here and I'm just torn. All my life, I've had dads and boyfriends with alcohol and/or drug addictions, so needless to say I'm a little sensitive about the topic. I've been dating a guy for the last 7 months and we would go out and have a few drinks or sit at home and have some wine. Alcohol h...

wifeofalcoholic · wifeofalcoholic

I see personal breathalyzer units for sale all over the Internet and at a vast variety of prices. Does anyone know of an inexpensive one that is accurate? Thank You

wp · wp

To my peeps who may have been trying to email me or wondering what's up.....the wedding is over, we're back home, I expect to be in this evening in the room, but my email is completely messed up today. s i g h wp

Lotus · Lotus

I dug up and threw out all of DH's (who is committed to not drinking now) drug paraphenalia over a month ago, because it makes me nervous knowing that stuff is in the house, and he not only replaced it after I told him why it tossed it, but brought home more drugs, explaining that I needed to work with him on...

queenie88 · queenie88

Hi all, New to the forum and I just wanted to say that it has been a HUGE help reading through all of the posts and the stickies, mainly its just really comforting to know that there are many people out there who have had the same Is it me? or Am I crazy? thoughts as me. Sure it helps talking to friends and famil...

lavash · lavash

I've read a lot on here about detaching from the addict. And for a long time I knew I had to detach from my BF because his life and how he lives it and how he raises his kids makes me sick, but how does one truly detach? Is detaching part of the process of leaving or does one stay with the person and be reattached...

Aloha · Aloha

This just jumped into my head today as I was browsing the web and came across an image of the old quote, "Death before dishonor". The meaning of that really hit me like a ton of bricks. When I chew on it for a bit, I really find it appalling. I get out of that quote that for some, they would rather be...

Mandy123 · Mandy123

Hi family, Well yes I do have an new favorite page in C2C (Courage to Change) and it is page 224, and sometime soon when I am hurting and need of another pearl of wisdom I will get another new favorite page :). I have been blessed with the ability to attend three meetings a week for a little while and Tuesday o...

nmike · nmike

My three sons are here with me for a few days. No spouses, no grandchildren. This is rare. So I see it as my opportunity to talk to them. I feel that when their dad left four years ago that he blamed it all on me. Time to straighten things out. And in alcoholism sometimes we don't talk about the obvious. Well,...

Suzannah · Suzannah

I am doing more weebling than wobbling right now. Really really am struggling to get up. Just feel the stuffing has been knocked out of me and I have this old parrot nagging me in my head again, just like it did when my A put me down all those years ago. I feel like I just have NOT moved on, but that I am right bac...

CAM0914 · CAM0914

frustrating and heartbreaking. it's such an insidious disease. he's killing himself, isolating, pushing everyone away so he can stew in his liquor....I love him so much, but I'm helpless.... letting it go, letting God take care of what I cannot do for myself or anyone else.... thanks for listeni...

chezza · chezza

I thought I would come on and share with you guys my experience story of walking through the fear with my higher power. I was on this very board where I asked for advice on asking for sponsorship. I'd like to thank you all for your encouragement now. I went to my usual home meeting that week and bravely a...

Inpain · Inpain

There was a woman that spoke at a few meetings that every time she talked I felt so much comfort. I had wanted to ask her for some time, but hadn't seen her. She was at the meeting last night and ...LOL...I knew I had to pounce on her. Anyways, she's an old timer...like 20+ years and I love my "women'...

Overcome · Overcome

I previously posted that I would go back to my original Message Board name Java, because I wanted to keep what was said and done on the message board completely seperate from what was said in chat. I have since realized that I can do that by just keeping my mouth shut! lol I don't have to change names! In my &...

Lilly Burn · Lilly Burn

I have been slowly rebuilding my life, staying no contact with my AH who literally ran away in January and rang me from abroad to say he wasnt coming back. He has emailed my sister against her wishes with the most patronising email about how he hopes hes left it long enough and hopes i will be ready to be fri...

Brunette · Brunette

Hi everyone, I'm new to this site. I need some advice on how to emotionally handle my AH. He quit drinking about 3 months ago at the recommendations of a counselor. The counselor also told him he needed to go to AA. He didn't feel he needed AA and he could quit on his own. He has quit before and always re...

Promise · Promise

My H is an addict once again relapsing after a series of outpatient rehabs. I am finding it so difficult to take care of myself and my children. I guess just going through the motions of going to work and trying to keep it together for my boys is all I can do right now. I guess my question is when will I finally...

harleywoman · harleywoman

I would like to ask a few questions on the AA board but can't get in..Do i have to re -register?

shellyj123 · shellyj123

I was thinking back to where I was a year ago, and it was a year ago today that I found MIP and my life began to change in ways I never thought possible. I came here still in a relationship with EXABF and he was on a pedestal in my life. I thought he could do no wrong. He and I were in the beginning stages of probl...

Hawk120025 · Hawk120025

I discovered this on the getting them sober web site. Content has been modified a smidge as I'm a grammar snob. But the message is the same. When we know that the addiction is so far gone that we cannot live with the alcoholic and have peace, it is time to stop romancing the past.That just leads us to livi...

Suzannah · Suzannah

I guess, maybe. you may feel like me sometimes: I look around and I see new names and think oh dear where are my "class-mates" [wobbly lip and a whimper] and then I realise that it is OKAY and it is safe and it is fine that the class members are changing all of the time, just like me. I have, and stil...

kristielaine · kristielaine

This has been a rough two weeks and I don't know how I got through it accept for God and my family, and of course my Al-Anon buddies (online and f2f). I am finally doing much better. I think about him a little, but I only allow myself to go but so far in my thoughts about him because I get angry, so I just focus...

java · java

I need to remind myself of the Six Guidelines for setting boundaries. I know Kitty recently posted them, but I don't think that it would hurt to post them again. Six Guidelines for Setting Boundaries1. Have clearly defined expectations.2. Clearly defined consequences that don't disrupt your sere...

Jozie · Jozie

So for me today I have beel layin low trying to gather my thoughts as to getting my emotions in order so I can speak with out tears, thanks to my SIL and our Soccer Walks I think I am there now :) Thanks Shelly :) Ok so last night after my sons practice we went to my momma's and went swimming with my neice and neph...

N8SMOM · N8SMOM

I am learning that we are not supposed to count on the alcoholic for support. But there are times (when he's sober) that I get major/much-needed support from my husband and I like the way he makes me feel. I always assumed that spouses are supposed to support each other and count on each other? Or doe...

gknee · gknee

Hey everyone- give me some of that ESH! Just got off the phone with AH. He is sobbing. Just emerging from the latest episode of drinking and drugging with the usual remorse and rawness. He is just so incredibly sick- mentally and physically. My response to him is basically this- I am so sorry you are in s...

mermaid88 · mermaid88

So, I opened and read my alcoholic fiances email today...found out that he had an adult friend finder account, and confronted him about it. He said he did it when he was drunk and high and it didn't mean anything to him. I feel betrayed, and now he is incredibly mad at me. I also read some flirtatious em...

Hoot Nanny · Hoot Nanny

JUST WANTED TO TELL EVERYONE THAT I HAVE BEEN GETTING WONDERFUL SLEEP--THE BEST I HAVE MANAGED LATELY. I GUESS I HAVE BEEN ABLE TO TURN THINGS OVER & JUST RELAX ENOUGH TO CLOSE MY EYES & GET INTO SOME RESTFUL SLEEP! I ALSO HAVE BEEN WALKING & EXERCISING AS USUAL--KINDA IRREGULAR BUT CONSI...

Ness · Ness

So... my Ason has today asked for help, one, from his doctor to get onto a recovery programme, (round 2) he should have a place in the psych ward next week and on to rehab if he so chooses .....and two (to me, more importantly)...he also sought help and support from a member of his AA group.....after th...

carla036 · carla036

Hi to all of my long time friends and family here at MIP. I tried like heck to get in the room this morning to no avail, so I figured hp had a different plan for me. So came to the message board,and got right on?#$ Anyways, alot of you have known me a very long time ,some not,so I will reintroduce myself and s...

Hawk120025 · Hawk120025

A lovely person gave me these words on my first post...... "I know for me the signs that the ex A was an alcoholic addict were always there. I made a point of not seeing them. Then I denied them, then I hoped they would get better. I did my share of confrontation. He always put on a great show about th...

shellyj123 · shellyj123

Things have been so crazy this week that I haven't had much time to post. Work is busy and after work is Soccer almost every night. We get home late and I am beat. Struggling to keep up with my daily readers too but trying my best and NOT beating myself up for a change. My SIL and I have taken to walking for e...

katiecat · katiecat

I'm struggling a bit today....still obsessing over sister and her lifestyle but didn't drive out to see if she was alright. She lost her phone because she didn't pay her bill...so she had no phone either. I struggled all weekend but was determined not to go out there and check on her. I read alot on co...

carolinagirl · carolinagirl

So after having much time to think on this I realize that I was pushing him into doing things he was not ready for, pushing him to move in, pushing him to make life changes, etc. I kept thinking if these few things were fixed everything would be perfect..... UGH. I saw it once I was away from it and out of th...

shellyj123 · shellyj123

Just got off the phone with my friend Jozie and she is having a REALLY hard time today, as is her son, neice and nephew. I am a firm believer in the power of prayer, so please lets send some out to Jozie and those kids today. thanks so much, Love and Peace shelly

java · java

I feel like it is imperative to keep what I post on the message board seperate from what I talk about in the chat room, so I have decided to take back my original name of Java on the message board. Hope I don't confuse too many people. But the two sites are seperate, so I will post seperately. Overcome is now k...

ajay147 · ajay147

Hi everyone, I've been here just over a month now, and I'm still struggling to understand anything. I guess I'm on step -1! My main problem is that I don't understand the disease thing! Calling alcoholism a disease seems wrong to me. I have a skin disease called psoriasis. Some of you may have it too. I h...

ticswife · ticswife

Hello All, I have only posted on here a couple of times but I read here alot because it helps to know I am not alone and I am very greatful there are people that are willing to share their lives with other people because I know how hurtful and shameful it can be to love an A....I have done alot of thinking in...

Topic		Started By	Replies	Views	Last Post
	And another thing... (Preview) My exAH had moved to CA from SC to be with an exgf. Called me yesterday to tell me he loves me and misses me... Come to find out last night he's been kicked out and is basically on the street there and doesn't know what to do. He's using again, drinking again and the move has been very bad for him but he loves...	carolinagirl	7	531	Aug 19, 2009 by carolinagirl
	a lot of guilt and feeling low. (Preview) i still haven't been able to forgive myself for what i did in my relationship with xabf. 1) he was still logged on to his email account. i looked at an email exchange between him and his ex. i lied to him about it, then confessed the truth three days later. 2) after one of his binge nights during which i felt v...	queenie88	5	1029	Aug 18, 2009 by maresie
	the reality is sinking in...and it hurts... (Preview) As some of you may know, my aH and I have been separated since last Oct. I always hoped that we'd each get better and we'd be able to reconcile and live happily ever after. And, as I stay connected with my reality, the chance of that happening seems less and less. I was thinking about how I ended up here in t...	Rora	6	932	Aug 18, 2009 by maresie
	New Kid in Town (Preview) Hello, everyone - As the subject line says, I'm a newbie here. I've been dating a guy that's 2 years sober (I apologize for not having all the acronyms down yet, feel free to enlighten me). He's actively working the program, and has been as long as I've known him (about a year and a half). He's a very soci...	AnneCognito	6	607	Aug 18, 2009 by maresie
	Hanging on to Hope No Matter What (Preview) Hi Family, Just wanted to drop in and share some experience, strength and hope. For about three weeks I have been trying to address an issue in my relationship with my dry drunk BF. There is an intimacy issue that is very pertinent and when I first addressed it with him, he said that the lack of intimacy wa...	Saved By Grace	7	909	Aug 18, 2009 by Tracy
	Reaching out for help (Preview) I surprised myself the other day when I heard some commercial about financial planning drone on in the background as I was doing some chores. The surprise? I actually thought to myself "Hey... that's a good idea. I think I could really use some professional assistance with planning out my finan...	Aloha	3	773	Aug 17, 2009 by hotrod
	Greif, pain, and would love some ESH... (Preview) So here I sit... Migrain, sorrow, hate, heartache, projecting, lothing, regretting, and down right Pissed off to be completely honest... Tonight was the LAST night with the kids, and WHY "I" thought it would be differant is beyond me.. We had a great day with the kids at my sisters house, w...	Jozie	6	1044	Aug 17, 2009 by maresie
	Update on husband's trip to ER (Preview) Well my husband informed me this week that his upper GI that they wanted him to take was going to cost him $250 upfront and then $1200 total. That doesn't include the throat endoscopy they wanted him to have or the blood work. He just said, "I don't have the money for that." and I said, "bu...	Overcome	5	684	Aug 17, 2009 by maresie
	Strength vs Courage (Preview) A dear friend of mine sent this to me - I loved it and thought I would share it with you: It takes strength to fit in. It takes courage to stand out. It takes strength to feel a friend's pain. It takes courage to feel your own pain. It takes strength to endure abuse. It takes courage to stop it. It takes strengt...	blender_girl	4	741	Aug 17, 2009 by Hawk120025
	What a challenging weekend...... (Preview) It's been horrible, actually. No matter how much I tried to detach and anti-romanticize my ex, ultimately my mind has wandered back to thoughts of him. And I miss him. So I've been reading.....searching.....for something to speak tp me. I found this on the Getting Them Sober web site which I hav...	Hawk120025	2	633	Aug 17, 2009 by Melissa21
	Minding My own Business...lol... (Preview) Well today I got up not feeling very rested at all, still strung out from the week of events that had been layed before me...But got up just the same... Husband came home tipsy last night, I found my best defense was to "Mind my OWN Business" & just let him pass out without words... So that i...	Jozie	2	898	Aug 17, 2009 by Mandy123
	Hosting a conference speaker (Preview) I am hosting a conference speaker this weekend. Any bits of wisdom to make it a success besides just follow her lead as to her needs if any? I plan to take her to dinner on Friday night and lunch on Saturday after she speaks. I have never met her before but have talked with her on the phone. ESH will be appre...	Mobirdie	6	1149	Aug 17, 2009 by Rita G
	just to let you all know i havent disappeared (Preview) I am here with the summer break for the kids and ah now being sober for 6 weeks and trying to fill his time up with meetings and gym etc ive had hardly a moment. Last week i did something for me that ive been wanting to do for the last 7 years i decorated my bedroom it took me 3 days but that was 3 days upstairs away...	rach04	2	627	Aug 17, 2009 by kitty
	chat room.... (Preview) Hiya all, WOW long time no see!, First of all I hope your all doing as well as you can. Second of all...How can I get into chat? it wont load for me for some reason and I wanna get in!! Grrrrrrr Anyone know? Love Katie.xx	flumpy	3	651	Aug 17, 2009 by flumpy
	Happy (belated) Birthday To: (Preview) Canadianguy! Wishes for a wonderful serenity filled year Tom	tea2	6	550	Aug 17, 2009 by canadianguy
	Please Read This - From John (closed) (Preview) I wrote this letter to a member of MIP tonight, and want everyone to clearly understand my position and that it is not up for negoiation, nor will I allow it to be compromised. I will not identify who it was sent to. **************** Hi (Omitted), Just been very busy lately. Been stopping in the room n...	John	0	935	Aug 17, 2009 by John
	New to forum (Preview) I got divorced to an alcoholic 7 yrs ago which my 2 oldest kids now 19 and 16 really resent their dad for the things he did and don't see him much. But my now 13 yr old was very young and didn't see a lot of what his dad did. He spends one night a week with his father and 9 out of 10 times his dad ends up drunk and he cal...	coloradojoye	3	713	Aug 17, 2009 by abbyal
	Wait! I changed my mind! (Preview) I don't know if it is fuzzy thinking (lack of sleep), stupidity or intimidation, but I have a long standing habit of making a decision, then thinking about it, questioning myself, wanting to change my mind after it is too late, being resentful, and ultimately completely responsible for wrecking my...	Loupiness	5	838	Aug 16, 2009 by Inpain
	Having a tough time distracting myself..... (Preview) It's been an awfully tempting day......thinking (obsessing) a bit more than I should today. My thoughts: In my mind keeping track of what he'd be doing at a particular time of day. "He's probably getting ready for work about now." "I wonder if he's spoke to his parents yet today.&...	Hawk120025	13	537	Aug 16, 2009 by Saved By Grace
	Hosting a conference speaker UPDATE (Preview) WOW what a fantastic Summer Hummer. All of the speakers were awesome, we are all tired to the bone but at the same time rejuvenated in our programs. I did take a really nice candle to the speakers room for when she arrived and she loved it (or said she did) I found one that came in it's own decorated box f...	Mobirdie	2	695	Aug 16, 2009 by abbyal
	Is he gone forever? (Preview) I met up with my qualifier a couple days ago. I cut off contact in the winter and only recently started having any contact with him. He's sober but crazy these day. (crazy al-anon style, IMO- who says codependence isn't life-threatening?) Anyway, he was crazier than ever. I am so sad because it's final...	gngcrzy	5	2896	Aug 16, 2009 by Hawk120025
	Happy Friday MIP family!:) (Preview) Wanted to stop by and let each and everyone one of you know how important you have become in my life, and that I pray for this place daily~without it I'm not certain I'd still be around. I have an anniversay party-20 years-tomorrow with my home group and am really excited about it! Going to be food, fellow...	shellyj123	3	541	Aug 16, 2009 by Tracy
	How do you know alcohol is a problem? (Preview) Hi there, I'm new here and I'm just torn. All my life, I've had dads and boyfriends with alcohol and/or drug addictions, so needless to say I'm a little sensitive about the topic. I've been dating a guy for the last 7 months and we would go out and have a few drinks or sit at home and have some wine. Alcohol h...	shelly1376	11	1117	Aug 16, 2009 by shelly1376
	Personal Breathalyzer Units (Preview) I see personal breathalyzer units for sale all over the Internet and at a vast variety of prices. Does anyone know of an inexpensive one that is accurate? Thank You	wifeofalcoholic	2	2759	Aug 16, 2009 by Jerry F
	Note: pw's email is out !! grrr (Preview) To my peeps who may have been trying to email me or wondering what's up.....the wedding is over, we're back home, I expect to be in this evening in the room, but my email is completely messed up today. s i g h wp	wp	1	469	Aug 15, 2009 by wp
	Am I crazy? (Preview) I dug up and threw out all of DH's (who is committed to not drinking now) drug paraphenalia over a month ago, because it makes me nervous knowing that stuff is in the house, and he not only replaced it after I told him why it tossed it, but brought home more drugs, explaining that I needed to work with him on...	Lotus	4	776	Aug 15, 2009 by MrsGratitude
	new to the site...need help and advice (Preview) Hi all, New to the forum and I just wanted to say that it has been a HUGE help reading through all of the posts and the stickies, mainly its just really comforting to know that there are many people out there who have had the same Is it me? or Am I crazy? thoughts as me. Sure it helps talking to friends and famil...	queenie88	3	727	Aug 15, 2009 by Hawk120025
	What is meant by detach? (Preview) I've read a lot on here about detaching from the addict. And for a long time I knew I had to detach from my BF because his life and how he lives it and how he raises his kids makes me sick, but how does one truly detach? Is detaching part of the process of leaving or does one stay with the person and be reattached...	lavash	9	1679	Aug 15, 2009 by glad lee
	Putting stock in other people's opinions. (Preview) This just jumped into my head today as I was browsing the web and came across an image of the old quote, "Death before dishonor". The meaning of that really hit me like a ton of bricks. When I chew on it for a bit, I really find it appalling. I get out of that quote that for some, they would rather be...	Aloha	5	1107	Aug 15, 2009 by Overcome
	My new favorite page in C2C (Preview) Hi family, Well yes I do have an new favorite page in C2C (Courage to Change) and it is page 224, and sometime soon when I am hurting and need of another pearl of wisdom I will get another new favorite page :). I have been blessed with the ability to attend three meetings a week for a little while and Tuesday o...	Mandy123	2	547	Aug 14, 2009 by Maria123
	Martyrdom and me (Preview) My three sons are here with me for a few days. No spouses, no grandchildren. This is rare. So I see it as my opportunity to talk to them. I feel that when their dad left four years ago that he blamed it all on me. Time to straighten things out. And in alcoholism sometimes we don't talk about the obvious. Well,...	nmike	6	821	Aug 14, 2009 by Andrea12
	More weeble than wobble... (Preview) I am doing more weebling than wobbling right now. Really really am struggling to get up. Just feel the stuffing has been knocked out of me and I have this old parrot nagging me in my head again, just like it did when my A put me down all those years ago. I feel like I just have NOT moved on, but that I am right bac...	Suzannah	10	543	Aug 14, 2009 by CAM0914
	Dealing with my A... (Preview) frustrating and heartbreaking. it's such an insidious disease. he's killing himself, isolating, pushing everyone away so he can stew in his liquor....I love him so much, but I'm helpless.... letting it go, letting God take care of what I cannot do for myself or anyone else.... thanks for listeni...	CAM0914	5	513	Aug 14, 2009 by CAM0914
	Sponsorship courage (Preview) I thought I would come on and share with you guys my experience story of walking through the fear with my higher power. I was on this very board where I asked for advice on asking for sponsorship. I'd like to thank you all for your encouragement now. I went to my usual home meeting that week and bravely a...	chezza	4	350	Aug 14, 2009 by N8SMOM
	Got a sponsor! (Preview) There was a woman that spoke at a few meetings that every time she talked I felt so much comfort. I had wanted to ask her for some time, but hadn't seen her. She was at the meeting last night and ...LOL...I knew I had to pounce on her. Anyways, she's an old timer...like 20+ years and I love my "women'...	Inpain	5	487	Aug 14, 2009 by shellyj123
	I'm having an identity crisis! Java becomes Overcome again! (Preview) I previously posted that I would go back to my original Message Board name Java, because I wanted to keep what was said and done on the message board completely seperate from what was said in chat. I have since realized that I can do that by just keeping my mouth shut! lol I don't have to change names! In my &...	Overcome	4	575	Aug 13, 2009 by Sincerely
	Peace shattered - why cant he just leave me alone (Preview) I have been slowly rebuilding my life, staying no contact with my AH who literally ran away in January and rang me from abroad to say he wasnt coming back. He has emailed my sister against her wishes with the most patronising email about how he hopes hes left it long enough and hopes i will be ready to be fri...	Lilly Burn	5	960	Aug 13, 2009 by Aloha
	New to site - Need Advice! (Preview) Hi everyone, I'm new to this site. I need some advice on how to emotionally handle my AH. He quit drinking about 3 months ago at the recommendations of a counselor. The counselor also told him he needed to go to AA. He didn't feel he needed AA and he could quit on his own. He has quit before and always re...	Brunette	4	805	Aug 13, 2009 by Jen
	Falling apart (Preview) My H is an addict once again relapsing after a series of outpatient rehabs. I am finding it so difficult to take care of myself and my children. I guess just going through the motions of going to work and trying to keep it together for my boys is all I can do right now. I guess my question is when will I finally...	Promise	6	611	Aug 13, 2009 by Mandy123
	AA Board (Preview) I would like to ask a few questions on the AA board but can't get in..Do i have to re -register?	harleywoman	3	427	Aug 12, 2009 by John
	A year ago today~~~~~My MIP anniversary:) (Preview) I was thinking back to where I was a year ago, and it was a year ago today that I found MIP and my life began to change in ways I never thought possible. I came here still in a relationship with EXABF and he was on a pedestal in my life. I thought he could do no wrong. He and I were in the beginning stages of probl...	shellyj123	6	722	Aug 12, 2009 by John
	After a lonely night spent romanticizing the good - today's words of wisdom (Preview) I discovered this on the getting them sober web site. Content has been modified a smidge as I'm a grammar snob. But the message is the same. When we know that the addiction is so far gone that we cannot live with the alcoholic and have peace, it is time to stop romancing the past.That just leads us to livi...	Hawk120025	7	1035	Aug 12, 2009 by Hawk120025
	Wobble. Just needing a little reassurance here, please. (Preview) I guess, maybe. you may feel like me sometimes: I look around and I see new names and think oh dear where are my "class-mates" [wobbly lip and a whimper] and then I realise that it is OKAY and it is safe and it is fine that the class members are changing all of the time, just like me. I have, and stil...	Suzannah	9	640	Aug 12, 2009 by rtexas
	Doing much better (Preview) This has been a rough two weeks and I don't know how I got through it accept for God and my family, and of course my Al-Anon buddies (online and f2f). I am finally doing much better. I think about him a little, but I only allow myself to go but so far in my thoughts about him because I get angry, so I just focus...	kristielaine	6	582	Aug 12, 2009 by kitty
	Having problems setting boundaries with husband (Preview) I need to remind myself of the Six Guidelines for setting boundaries. I know Kitty recently posted them, but I don't think that it would hurt to post them again. Six Guidelines for Setting Boundaries1. Have clearly defined expectations.2. Clearly defined consequences that don't disrupt your sere...	java	7	5615	Aug 12, 2009 by kitty
	All ESH, prayers, encouragement anything... Welcome... (Preview) So for me today I have beel layin low trying to gather my thoughts as to getting my emotions in order so I can speak with out tears, thanks to my SIL and our Soccer Walks I think I am there now :) Thanks Shelly :) Ok so last night after my sons practice we went to my momma's and went swimming with my neice and neph...	Jozie	9	913	Aug 12, 2009 by Mandy123
	Confused about support (Preview) I am learning that we are not supposed to count on the alcoholic for support. But there are times (when he's sober) that I get major/much-needed support from my husband and I like the way he makes me feel. I always assumed that spouses are supposed to support each other and count on each other? Or doe...	N8SMOM	5	479	Aug 12, 2009 by Inpain
	a penny for your thoughts and feedback... (Preview) Hey everyone- give me some of that ESH! Just got off the phone with AH. He is sobbing. Just emerging from the latest episode of drinking and drugging with the usual remorse and rawness. He is just so incredibly sick- mentally and physically. My response to him is basically this- I am so sorry you are in s...	gknee	4	878	Aug 12, 2009 by Jerry F
	Oops...I did something I should not have done. (Preview) So, I opened and read my alcoholic fiances email today...found out that he had an adult friend finder account, and confronted him about it. He said he did it when he was drunk and high and it didn't mean anything to him. I feel betrayed, and now he is incredibly mad at me. I also read some flirtatious em...	mermaid88	9	615	Aug 12, 2009 by Inpain
	SLEEP--OH WHAT A RELIEF! (Preview) JUST WANTED TO TELL EVERYONE THAT I HAVE BEEN GETTING WONDERFUL SLEEP--THE BEST I HAVE MANAGED LATELY. I GUESS I HAVE BEEN ABLE TO TURN THINGS OVER & JUST RELAX ENOUGH TO CLOSE MY EYES & GET INTO SOME RESTFUL SLEEP! I ALSO HAVE BEEN WALKING & EXERCISING AS USUAL--KINDA IRREGULAR BUT CONSI...	Hoot Nanny	2	525	Aug 12, 2009 by Jozie
	SO....my Ason..... (Preview) So... my Ason has today asked for help, one, from his doctor to get onto a recovery programme, (round 2) he should have a place in the psych ward next week and on to rehab if he so chooses .....and two (to me, more importantly)...he also sought help and support from a member of his AA group.....after th...	Ness	3	735	Aug 12, 2009 by Jozie
	Safety first... (Preview) Hi to all of my long time friends and family here at MIP. I tried like heck to get in the room this morning to no avail, so I figured hp had a different plan for me. So came to the message board,and got right on?#$ Anyways, alot of you have known me a very long time ,some not,so I will reintroduce myself and s...	carla036	4	748	Aug 12, 2009 by danz123
	I saw it all along....... (Preview) A lovely person gave me these words on my first post...... "I know for me the signs that the ex A was an alcoholic addict were always there. I made a point of not seeing them. Then I denied them, then I hoped they would get better. I did my share of confrontation. He always put on a great show about th...	Hawk120025	8	509	Aug 12, 2009 by lavash
	Such a good good life.......I am blessed:) (Preview) Things have been so crazy this week that I haven't had much time to post. Work is busy and after work is Soccer almost every night. We get home late and I am beat. Struggling to keep up with my daily readers too but trying my best and NOT beating myself up for a change. My SIL and I have taken to walking for e...	shellyj123	1	572	Aug 12, 2009 by java
	THIS IS HARD (Preview) I'm struggling a bit today....still obsessing over sister and her lifestyle but didn't drive out to see if she was alright. She lost her phone because she didn't pay her bill...so she had no phone either. I struggled all weekend but was determined not to go out there and check on her. I read alot on co...	katiecat	9	928	Aug 11, 2009 by katiecat
	The lesson (Preview) So after having much time to think on this I realize that I was pushing him into doing things he was not ready for, pushing him to move in, pushing him to make life changes, etc. I kept thinking if these few things were fixed everything would be perfect..... UGH. I saw it once I was away from it and out of th...	carolinagirl	4	649	Aug 11, 2009 by debilyn
	ESH and prayers for Jozie and her son, neice and nephew (Preview) Just got off the phone with my friend Jozie and she is having a REALLY hard time today, as is her son, neice and nephew. I am a firm believer in the power of prayer, so please lets send some out to Jozie and those kids today. thanks so much, Love and Peace shelly	shellyj123	8	916	Aug 11, 2009 by Mandy123
	Overcome has become Java again (Preview) I feel like it is imperative to keep what I post on the message board seperate from what I talk about in the chat room, so I have decided to take back my original name of Java on the message board. Hope I don't confuse too many people. But the two sites are seperate, so I will post seperately. Overcome is now k...	java	1	500	Aug 11, 2009 by Mandy123
	I'm sorry to say this, but, is alcoholism really a disease? (Preview) Hi everyone, I've been here just over a month now, and I'm still struggling to understand anything. I guess I'm on step -1! My main problem is that I don't understand the disease thing! Calling alcoholism a disease seems wrong to me. I have a skin disease called psoriasis. Some of you may have it too. I h...	ajay147	16	3312	Aug 11, 2009 by lavash
	Taking Stock (Preview) Hello All, I have only posted on here a couple of times but I read here alot because it helps to know I am not alone and I am very greatful there are people that are willing to share their lives with other people because I know how hurtful and shameful it can be to love an A....I have done alot of thinking in...	ticswife	4	600	Aug 11, 2009 by MrsGratitude
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The material presented here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method to exchange information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal level.