Al-Anon Family Group - Al-Anon Family Group

queenie88 · queenie88

Hi all, New to the forum and I just wanted to say that it has been a HUGE help reading through all of the posts and the stickies, mainly its just really comforting to know that there are many people out there who have had the same Is it me? or Am I crazy? thoughts as me. Sure it helps talking to friends and famil...

lavash · lavash

I've read a lot on here about detaching from the addict. And for a long time I knew I had to detach from my BF because his life and how he lives it and how he raises his kids makes me sick, but how does one truly detach? Is detaching part of the process of leaving or does one stay with the person and be reattached...

Aloha · Aloha

This just jumped into my head today as I was browsing the web and came across an image of the old quote, "Death before dishonor". The meaning of that really hit me like a ton of bricks. When I chew on it for a bit, I really find it appalling. I get out of that quote that for some, they would rather be...

Mandy123 · Mandy123

Hi family, Well yes I do have an new favorite page in C2C (Courage to Change) and it is page 224, and sometime soon when I am hurting and need of another pearl of wisdom I will get another new favorite page :). I have been blessed with the ability to attend three meetings a week for a little while and Tuesday o...

nmike · nmike

My three sons are here with me for a few days. No spouses, no grandchildren. This is rare. So I see it as my opportunity to talk to them. I feel that when their dad left four years ago that he blamed it all on me. Time to straighten things out. And in alcoholism sometimes we don't talk about the obvious. Well,...

Suzannah · Suzannah

I am doing more weebling than wobbling right now. Really really am struggling to get up. Just feel the stuffing has been knocked out of me and I have this old parrot nagging me in my head again, just like it did when my A put me down all those years ago. I feel like I just have NOT moved on, but that I am right bac...

CAM0914 · CAM0914

frustrating and heartbreaking. it's such an insidious disease. he's killing himself, isolating, pushing everyone away so he can stew in his liquor....I love him so much, but I'm helpless.... letting it go, letting God take care of what I cannot do for myself or anyone else.... thanks for listeni...

chezza · chezza

I thought I would come on and share with you guys my experience story of walking through the fear with my higher power. I was on this very board where I asked for advice on asking for sponsorship. I'd like to thank you all for your encouragement now. I went to my usual home meeting that week and bravely a...

Inpain · Inpain

There was a woman that spoke at a few meetings that every time she talked I felt so much comfort. I had wanted to ask her for some time, but hadn't seen her. She was at the meeting last night and ...LOL...I knew I had to pounce on her. Anyways, she's an old timer...like 20+ years and I love my "women'...

Overcome · Overcome

I previously posted that I would go back to my original Message Board name Java, because I wanted to keep what was said and done on the message board completely seperate from what was said in chat. I have since realized that I can do that by just keeping my mouth shut! lol I don't have to change names! In my &...

Lilly Burn · Lilly Burn

I have been slowly rebuilding my life, staying no contact with my AH who literally ran away in January and rang me from abroad to say he wasnt coming back. He has emailed my sister against her wishes with the most patronising email about how he hopes hes left it long enough and hopes i will be ready to be fri...

Brunette · Brunette

Hi everyone, I'm new to this site. I need some advice on how to emotionally handle my AH. He quit drinking about 3 months ago at the recommendations of a counselor. The counselor also told him he needed to go to AA. He didn't feel he needed AA and he could quit on his own. He has quit before and always re...

Promise · Promise

My H is an addict once again relapsing after a series of outpatient rehabs. I am finding it so difficult to take care of myself and my children. I guess just going through the motions of going to work and trying to keep it together for my boys is all I can do right now. I guess my question is when will I finally...

harleywoman · harleywoman

I would like to ask a few questions on the AA board but can't get in..Do i have to re -register?

shellyj123 · shellyj123

I was thinking back to where I was a year ago, and it was a year ago today that I found MIP and my life began to change in ways I never thought possible. I came here still in a relationship with EXABF and he was on a pedestal in my life. I thought he could do no wrong. He and I were in the beginning stages of probl...

Hawk120025 · Hawk120025

I discovered this on the getting them sober web site. Content has been modified a smidge as I'm a grammar snob. But the message is the same. When we know that the addiction is so far gone that we cannot live with the alcoholic and have peace, it is time to stop romancing the past.That just leads us to livi...

Suzannah · Suzannah

I guess, maybe. you may feel like me sometimes: I look around and I see new names and think oh dear where are my "class-mates" [wobbly lip and a whimper] and then I realise that it is OKAY and it is safe and it is fine that the class members are changing all of the time, just like me. I have, and stil...

kristielaine · kristielaine

This has been a rough two weeks and I don't know how I got through it accept for God and my family, and of course my Al-Anon buddies (online and f2f). I am finally doing much better. I think about him a little, but I only allow myself to go but so far in my thoughts about him because I get angry, so I just focus...

java · java

I need to remind myself of the Six Guidelines for setting boundaries. I know Kitty recently posted them, but I don't think that it would hurt to post them again. Six Guidelines for Setting Boundaries1. Have clearly defined expectations.2. Clearly defined consequences that don't disrupt your sere...

Jozie · Jozie

So for me today I have beel layin low trying to gather my thoughts as to getting my emotions in order so I can speak with out tears, thanks to my SIL and our Soccer Walks I think I am there now :) Thanks Shelly :) Ok so last night after my sons practice we went to my momma's and went swimming with my neice and neph...

N8SMOM · N8SMOM

I am learning that we are not supposed to count on the alcoholic for support. But there are times (when he's sober) that I get major/much-needed support from my husband and I like the way he makes me feel. I always assumed that spouses are supposed to support each other and count on each other? Or doe...

gknee · gknee

Hey everyone- give me some of that ESH! Just got off the phone with AH. He is sobbing. Just emerging from the latest episode of drinking and drugging with the usual remorse and rawness. He is just so incredibly sick- mentally and physically. My response to him is basically this- I am so sorry you are in s...

mermaid88 · mermaid88

So, I opened and read my alcoholic fiances email today...found out that he had an adult friend finder account, and confronted him about it. He said he did it when he was drunk and high and it didn't mean anything to him. I feel betrayed, and now he is incredibly mad at me. I also read some flirtatious em...

Hoot Nanny · Hoot Nanny

JUST WANTED TO TELL EVERYONE THAT I HAVE BEEN GETTING WONDERFUL SLEEP--THE BEST I HAVE MANAGED LATELY. I GUESS I HAVE BEEN ABLE TO TURN THINGS OVER & JUST RELAX ENOUGH TO CLOSE MY EYES & GET INTO SOME RESTFUL SLEEP! I ALSO HAVE BEEN WALKING & EXERCISING AS USUAL--KINDA IRREGULAR BUT CONSI...

Ness · Ness

So... my Ason has today asked for help, one, from his doctor to get onto a recovery programme, (round 2) he should have a place in the psych ward next week and on to rehab if he so chooses .....and two (to me, more importantly)...he also sought help and support from a member of his AA group.....after th...

carla036 · carla036

Hi to all of my long time friends and family here at MIP. I tried like heck to get in the room this morning to no avail, so I figured hp had a different plan for me. So came to the message board,and got right on?#$ Anyways, alot of you have known me a very long time ,some not,so I will reintroduce myself and s...

Hawk120025 · Hawk120025

A lovely person gave me these words on my first post...... "I know for me the signs that the ex A was an alcoholic addict were always there. I made a point of not seeing them. Then I denied them, then I hoped they would get better. I did my share of confrontation. He always put on a great show about th...

shellyj123 · shellyj123

Things have been so crazy this week that I haven't had much time to post. Work is busy and after work is Soccer almost every night. We get home late and I am beat. Struggling to keep up with my daily readers too but trying my best and NOT beating myself up for a change. My SIL and I have taken to walking for e...

katiecat · katiecat

I'm struggling a bit today....still obsessing over sister and her lifestyle but didn't drive out to see if she was alright. She lost her phone because she didn't pay her bill...so she had no phone either. I struggled all weekend but was determined not to go out there and check on her. I read alot on co...

carolinagirl · carolinagirl

So after having much time to think on this I realize that I was pushing him into doing things he was not ready for, pushing him to move in, pushing him to make life changes, etc. I kept thinking if these few things were fixed everything would be perfect..... UGH. I saw it once I was away from it and out of th...

shellyj123 · shellyj123

Just got off the phone with my friend Jozie and she is having a REALLY hard time today, as is her son, neice and nephew. I am a firm believer in the power of prayer, so please lets send some out to Jozie and those kids today. thanks so much, Love and Peace shelly

java · java

I feel like it is imperative to keep what I post on the message board seperate from what I talk about in the chat room, so I have decided to take back my original name of Java on the message board. Hope I don't confuse too many people. But the two sites are seperate, so I will post seperately. Overcome is now k...

ajay147 · ajay147

Hi everyone, I've been here just over a month now, and I'm still struggling to understand anything. I guess I'm on step -1! My main problem is that I don't understand the disease thing! Calling alcoholism a disease seems wrong to me. I have a skin disease called psoriasis. Some of you may have it too. I h...

ticswife · ticswife

Hello All, I have only posted on here a couple of times but I read here alot because it helps to know I am not alone and I am very greatful there are people that are willing to share their lives with other people because I know how hurtful and shameful it can be to love an A....I have done alot of thinking in...

barisax · barisax

Drama Goddess today left for a residential treatment program in another city, escorted by her probation officer. Hopefully the beginning of some recovery for this girl... if you've read about teenage girls and their "issues", she's been there / done it.... except for doing drugs an...

peacewithin · peacewithin

I been doing real good working on myself I feel like a new person. Then WHAM ! I went to a country music concert with my son and ran our check book to low according to him. He verbally hurt me in all the ways he could. He knows I'm getting ready to leave and he says you can't leave me you can't make it on your own...

blender_girl · blender_girl

OK - we are starting Day 5 of my AH's recovery. I recognize that it's really really early in the process and I'm trying REALLY hard to stay out of his business - however (yes, I know, that sounds an awful lot like "but") my boundary was that he reach out to a trusted AA friend to get started. So...

ticswife · ticswife

Ness, I just wanted to thank you for your answer to my post....You said "I knew the only thing left was to let go and save myself." I needed to hear that I could do that and it would be ok, that it was alright for me to let go because thats what I have to do- -"Let go to save myself" e...

Rosepetals · Rosepetals

I have been in Alanon off and on for years. I have recently become addicted to someone one that is a manipulative alcoholic. Yes, I should have seen it coming, but I let it happen. I am detaching, but the pain is almost unbearable at times. Just glad I found this board. I'm taking everything one ho...

shellyj123 · shellyj123

Was on the boards again today-my life line somedays, and looked around and realized that I am not seeing a lot of MIP's "Old Timers" around. Where has everyone gone???????? Did we move and no one told me??? Where's the old gang hiding?

mermaid88 · mermaid88

My posts are usually filled with extremely dramatic situations, and unfortunately, today is no different. Today, my alcoholic fiance called his mother and told her he is suicidal. She called me, and I called an ambulance. Well, instead of an ambulance, 8 police officers showed up to our house. ...

Jozie · Jozie

Ok... Have been doing little this morning, BUT Feeling Great, doing some postin, answer'n (Nothing) Phone Calls, and I hear the mail man so ask Son to grab the mail, he brings it back, and my Heart Drops Like a Brick! That Quick.. Up on a Cloud :) To Such Dirt :(... ANOTHER, Letter from Our State, Now sayi...

Overcome · Overcome

The August 8 reading in Courage to Change, pg. 221 talks about how letting go of character defects illicites change in our life and how that is sometimes scary. The fear, I think, is if the God of our understanding removes these defects, what will be left? A hole? A void? I think not. I think God fills it w...

Maria123 · Maria123

I have been in Alanon since 2000 in many facets, first and foremost face to face meetings, then the gift of online meetings where I had the amazing opportunity to meet in person some other MIPers throughout this country and then to this wonderful message board. So many gifts of this program. Quite hone...

Temple · Temple

I couldn't remember who had posted the quotes from Eckhart Tolle's The Power of Now. So I did a search, and it was Christy. I printed those out and read them and thought about them a lot. And yesterday I was in a place with a bigger bookstore and I bought it. I bought 8 books altogether, including Langua...

Jeninoz · Jeninoz

Hi, My name is Jenni. My husband is 8 mths clean/sober through AA. We have been separated since April 08 due to his addiction. Since that time we have engaged in new relationships. We have 2 beautiful children and are currently thinking about reconciliation. I am a member of Alanon along with a anoth...

sterling7 · sterling7

First of all, thank you everyone for your encouraging replies to my last post. Wow, this morning was both amazing and rough at the same time. It was amazing to me that my husband actually went to detox. A few weeks ago I would have told you all that this would never happen. But I believe that me working...

buick23 · buick23

Someone we have known for years found out he has cirrhosis of the liver and the doctor told him if he wanted to live he had to quit drinking. He quit drinking and I'm glad that he did. He drank for many years. It was so nice to talk to him sober. My bf got laid off from his job Friday because they don't have any mo...

Carlasdad · Carlasdad

Hi to all. I am not sure where to put this..... will keep looking New here and I guess I should have acted long ago. My 24 year old daughter has a drinking problem. Has had a drinking problem for some time now....... I would say that she is a professional now. She is heading to her death fast. I have told he...

Rora · Rora

For those who don't know, my aH and I have been separated since October last year. We toggle back and forth with spending time, not spending time. Normally I enjoy his company, because I like the person he is underneath all the A-isms. Though I find too much time with him leaves me feeling edgy and irri...

PixieB · PixieB

Hi to everyone, Boy am I glad I found this board! The last 17 months have been pure insanity. My H is a dry drunk who attends meetings, but has chosen to not practice the steps or way of life. It has come to the point that he is making a case to validate drinking again. (his words) I have been to f2f meetings, bu...

Jozie · Jozie

After my Last post, I went to lunch, prob. ate more then I should for it was my Excuse as a Distraction... Well Phone Rings, and I just figure another one of those "No Work" calls... (Projecting I suppose)...lol Well it turns out being a lady, prob. in her 50's... She starts going down a list of...

Inpain · Inpain

Just venting tonight... The ^%() hit the fan last night. My dry drunk sober husband "asked" me if he could go out and drink last night with a friend. I give up. I said "I think I've made it perfectly clear you can do anything you want" He knows up and down that I want to file for a divo...

ernie · ernie

Sorry for the delay. Promise to do better next month July Business meeting Minutes Meeting was held July 12, 2009 Meeting opened with the serenity prayer Motion to accept June Business Meeting Minutes as posted on the Board - Voted on and accepted Chair meeting schedule was posted and revisedC...

RainyJamie · RainyJamie

Alot of ways it has held me down or pulled me back. But many things about my active AH made me say ENOUGH! and change things about myself. For instance, when he let his job go, I found work. Best thing I could have done. Because he consistantly drove drunk, I got my liscence and took over the car. I never thou...

brownmf · brownmf

I saw the ex- ABF last night and had a slip. I had been doing so well taking care of myself, trying to be happy with today, and not trying to force a solution between us. (We're not together, and we're not giving up, nor are we trying again. Distance and opposing schedules keep us apart, and too many slips on...

sterling7 · sterling7

I can't believe this is actually happening, but my husband is checking into detox at 9am tomorrow morning! I had given up hope for him, and honestly I still don't have long-term hope for him, but since I had given up my expectations, this is actually a pleasant surprise. I want the best for him regardles...

carolinagirl · carolinagirl

I hear that a lot... how do you deal with so much completely alone? I was so full of joy when I was with him and felt like I had someone I could always rely on until suddenly I didn't. Now I'm feeling alone again. I want to get past this but I feel so stuck. So many times I feel like I'm on autopilot and just go...

maresie · maresie

I took the day off my part time job today to start the storage project. It is indeed daunting. I have a small amount of the ex A's junk which right now is not triggering me. I'm hopeful I can get the stuff out of storage in a matter of weeks but there is a lot of sorting out to do and donating and so forth. Mak...

debilyn · debilyn

Was a hard one too! I am a tease. If you knew me, and saw me you would know I say it jokingly and never meaning to hurt anyone. I teased someone in Chat. Though it did not bother them, it bothered another member. It would have been nice if this member would have said, "hey debilyn sometimes people come i...

Topic		Started By	Replies	Views	Last Post
	new to the site...need help and advice (Preview) Hi all, New to the forum and I just wanted to say that it has been a HUGE help reading through all of the posts and the stickies, mainly its just really comforting to know that there are many people out there who have had the same Is it me? or Am I crazy? thoughts as me. Sure it helps talking to friends and famil...	queenie88	3	703	Aug 15, 2009 by Hawk120025
	What is meant by detach? (Preview) I've read a lot on here about detaching from the addict. And for a long time I knew I had to detach from my BF because his life and how he lives it and how he raises his kids makes me sick, but how does one truly detach? Is detaching part of the process of leaving or does one stay with the person and be reattached...	lavash	9	1644	Aug 15, 2009 by glad lee
	Putting stock in other people's opinions. (Preview) This just jumped into my head today as I was browsing the web and came across an image of the old quote, "Death before dishonor". The meaning of that really hit me like a ton of bricks. When I chew on it for a bit, I really find it appalling. I get out of that quote that for some, they would rather be...	Aloha	5	1079	Aug 15, 2009 by Overcome
	My new favorite page in C2C (Preview) Hi family, Well yes I do have an new favorite page in C2C (Courage to Change) and it is page 224, and sometime soon when I am hurting and need of another pearl of wisdom I will get another new favorite page :). I have been blessed with the ability to attend three meetings a week for a little while and Tuesday o...	Mandy123	2	522	Aug 14, 2009 by Maria123
	Martyrdom and me (Preview) My three sons are here with me for a few days. No spouses, no grandchildren. This is rare. So I see it as my opportunity to talk to them. I feel that when their dad left four years ago that he blamed it all on me. Time to straighten things out. And in alcoholism sometimes we don't talk about the obvious. Well,...	nmike	6	801	Aug 14, 2009 by Andrea12
	More weeble than wobble... (Preview) I am doing more weebling than wobbling right now. Really really am struggling to get up. Just feel the stuffing has been knocked out of me and I have this old parrot nagging me in my head again, just like it did when my A put me down all those years ago. I feel like I just have NOT moved on, but that I am right bac...	Suzannah	10	519	Aug 14, 2009 by CAM0914
	Dealing with my A... (Preview) frustrating and heartbreaking. it's such an insidious disease. he's killing himself, isolating, pushing everyone away so he can stew in his liquor....I love him so much, but I'm helpless.... letting it go, letting God take care of what I cannot do for myself or anyone else.... thanks for listeni...	CAM0914	5	494	Aug 14, 2009 by CAM0914
	Sponsorship courage (Preview) I thought I would come on and share with you guys my experience story of walking through the fear with my higher power. I was on this very board where I asked for advice on asking for sponsorship. I'd like to thank you all for your encouragement now. I went to my usual home meeting that week and bravely a...	chezza	4	330	Aug 14, 2009 by N8SMOM
	Got a sponsor! (Preview) There was a woman that spoke at a few meetings that every time she talked I felt so much comfort. I had wanted to ask her for some time, but hadn't seen her. She was at the meeting last night and ...LOL...I knew I had to pounce on her. Anyways, she's an old timer...like 20+ years and I love my "women'...	Inpain	5	447	Aug 14, 2009 by shellyj123
	I'm having an identity crisis! Java becomes Overcome again! (Preview) I previously posted that I would go back to my original Message Board name Java, because I wanted to keep what was said and done on the message board completely seperate from what was said in chat. I have since realized that I can do that by just keeping my mouth shut! lol I don't have to change names! In my &...	Overcome	4	541	Aug 13, 2009 by Sincerely
	Peace shattered - why cant he just leave me alone (Preview) I have been slowly rebuilding my life, staying no contact with my AH who literally ran away in January and rang me from abroad to say he wasnt coming back. He has emailed my sister against her wishes with the most patronising email about how he hopes hes left it long enough and hopes i will be ready to be fri...	Lilly Burn	5	935	Aug 13, 2009 by Aloha
	New to site - Need Advice! (Preview) Hi everyone, I'm new to this site. I need some advice on how to emotionally handle my AH. He quit drinking about 3 months ago at the recommendations of a counselor. The counselor also told him he needed to go to AA. He didn't feel he needed AA and he could quit on his own. He has quit before and always re...	Brunette	4	785	Aug 13, 2009 by Jen
	Falling apart (Preview) My H is an addict once again relapsing after a series of outpatient rehabs. I am finding it so difficult to take care of myself and my children. I guess just going through the motions of going to work and trying to keep it together for my boys is all I can do right now. I guess my question is when will I finally...	Promise	6	584	Aug 13, 2009 by Mandy123
	AA Board (Preview) I would like to ask a few questions on the AA board but can't get in..Do i have to re -register?	harleywoman	3	405	Aug 12, 2009 by John
	A year ago today~~~~~My MIP anniversary:) (Preview) I was thinking back to where I was a year ago, and it was a year ago today that I found MIP and my life began to change in ways I never thought possible. I came here still in a relationship with EXABF and he was on a pedestal in my life. I thought he could do no wrong. He and I were in the beginning stages of probl...	shellyj123	6	701	Aug 12, 2009 by John
	After a lonely night spent romanticizing the good - today's words of wisdom (Preview) I discovered this on the getting them sober web site. Content has been modified a smidge as I'm a grammar snob. But the message is the same. When we know that the addiction is so far gone that we cannot live with the alcoholic and have peace, it is time to stop romancing the past.That just leads us to livi...	Hawk120025	7	1010	Aug 12, 2009 by Hawk120025
	Wobble. Just needing a little reassurance here, please. (Preview) I guess, maybe. you may feel like me sometimes: I look around and I see new names and think oh dear where are my "class-mates" [wobbly lip and a whimper] and then I realise that it is OKAY and it is safe and it is fine that the class members are changing all of the time, just like me. I have, and stil...	Suzannah	9	620	Aug 12, 2009 by rtexas
	Doing much better (Preview) This has been a rough two weeks and I don't know how I got through it accept for God and my family, and of course my Al-Anon buddies (online and f2f). I am finally doing much better. I think about him a little, but I only allow myself to go but so far in my thoughts about him because I get angry, so I just focus...	kristielaine	6	562	Aug 12, 2009 by kitty
	Having problems setting boundaries with husband (Preview) I need to remind myself of the Six Guidelines for setting boundaries. I know Kitty recently posted them, but I don't think that it would hurt to post them again. Six Guidelines for Setting Boundaries1. Have clearly defined expectations.2. Clearly defined consequences that don't disrupt your sere...	java	7	5360	Aug 12, 2009 by kitty
	All ESH, prayers, encouragement anything... Welcome... (Preview) So for me today I have beel layin low trying to gather my thoughts as to getting my emotions in order so I can speak with out tears, thanks to my SIL and our Soccer Walks I think I am there now :) Thanks Shelly :) Ok so last night after my sons practice we went to my momma's and went swimming with my neice and neph...	Jozie	9	882	Aug 12, 2009 by Mandy123
	Confused about support (Preview) I am learning that we are not supposed to count on the alcoholic for support. But there are times (when he's sober) that I get major/much-needed support from my husband and I like the way he makes me feel. I always assumed that spouses are supposed to support each other and count on each other? Or doe...	N8SMOM	5	460	Aug 12, 2009 by Inpain
	a penny for your thoughts and feedback... (Preview) Hey everyone- give me some of that ESH! Just got off the phone with AH. He is sobbing. Just emerging from the latest episode of drinking and drugging with the usual remorse and rawness. He is just so incredibly sick- mentally and physically. My response to him is basically this- I am so sorry you are in s...	gknee	4	859	Aug 12, 2009 by Jerry F
	Oops...I did something I should not have done. (Preview) So, I opened and read my alcoholic fiances email today...found out that he had an adult friend finder account, and confronted him about it. He said he did it when he was drunk and high and it didn't mean anything to him. I feel betrayed, and now he is incredibly mad at me. I also read some flirtatious em...	mermaid88	9	587	Aug 12, 2009 by Inpain
	SLEEP--OH WHAT A RELIEF! (Preview) JUST WANTED TO TELL EVERYONE THAT I HAVE BEEN GETTING WONDERFUL SLEEP--THE BEST I HAVE MANAGED LATELY. I GUESS I HAVE BEEN ABLE TO TURN THINGS OVER & JUST RELAX ENOUGH TO CLOSE MY EYES & GET INTO SOME RESTFUL SLEEP! I ALSO HAVE BEEN WALKING & EXERCISING AS USUAL--KINDA IRREGULAR BUT CONSI...	Hoot Nanny	2	496	Aug 12, 2009 by Jozie
	SO....my Ason..... (Preview) So... my Ason has today asked for help, one, from his doctor to get onto a recovery programme, (round 2) he should have a place in the psych ward next week and on to rehab if he so chooses .....and two (to me, more importantly)...he also sought help and support from a member of his AA group.....after th...	Ness	3	715	Aug 12, 2009 by Jozie
	Safety first... (Preview) Hi to all of my long time friends and family here at MIP. I tried like heck to get in the room this morning to no avail, so I figured hp had a different plan for me. So came to the message board,and got right on?#$ Anyways, alot of you have known me a very long time ,some not,so I will reintroduce myself and s...	carla036	4	727	Aug 12, 2009 by danz123
	I saw it all along....... (Preview) A lovely person gave me these words on my first post...... "I know for me the signs that the ex A was an alcoholic addict were always there. I made a point of not seeing them. Then I denied them, then I hoped they would get better. I did my share of confrontation. He always put on a great show about th...	Hawk120025	8	487	Aug 12, 2009 by lavash
	Such a good good life.......I am blessed:) (Preview) Things have been so crazy this week that I haven't had much time to post. Work is busy and after work is Soccer almost every night. We get home late and I am beat. Struggling to keep up with my daily readers too but trying my best and NOT beating myself up for a change. My SIL and I have taken to walking for e...	shellyj123	1	553	Aug 12, 2009 by java
	THIS IS HARD (Preview) I'm struggling a bit today....still obsessing over sister and her lifestyle but didn't drive out to see if she was alright. She lost her phone because she didn't pay her bill...so she had no phone either. I struggled all weekend but was determined not to go out there and check on her. I read alot on co...	katiecat	9	906	Aug 11, 2009 by katiecat
	The lesson (Preview) So after having much time to think on this I realize that I was pushing him into doing things he was not ready for, pushing him to move in, pushing him to make life changes, etc. I kept thinking if these few things were fixed everything would be perfect..... UGH. I saw it once I was away from it and out of th...	carolinagirl	4	630	Aug 11, 2009 by debilyn
	ESH and prayers for Jozie and her son, neice and nephew (Preview) Just got off the phone with my friend Jozie and she is having a REALLY hard time today, as is her son, neice and nephew. I am a firm believer in the power of prayer, so please lets send some out to Jozie and those kids today. thanks so much, Love and Peace shelly	shellyj123	8	866	Aug 11, 2009 by Mandy123
	Overcome has become Java again (Preview) I feel like it is imperative to keep what I post on the message board seperate from what I talk about in the chat room, so I have decided to take back my original name of Java on the message board. Hope I don't confuse too many people. But the two sites are seperate, so I will post seperately. Overcome is now k...	java	1	476	Aug 11, 2009 by Mandy123
	I'm sorry to say this, but, is alcoholism really a disease? (Preview) Hi everyone, I've been here just over a month now, and I'm still struggling to understand anything. I guess I'm on step -1! My main problem is that I don't understand the disease thing! Calling alcoholism a disease seems wrong to me. I have a skin disease called psoriasis. Some of you may have it too. I h...	ajay147	16	3181	Aug 11, 2009 by lavash
	Taking Stock (Preview) Hello All, I have only posted on here a couple of times but I read here alot because it helps to know I am not alone and I am very greatful there are people that are willing to share their lives with other people because I know how hurtful and shameful it can be to love an A....I have done alot of thinking in...	ticswife	4	575	Aug 11, 2009 by MrsGratitude
	DG into Treatment (Preview) Drama Goddess today left for a residential treatment program in another city, escorted by her probation officer. Hopefully the beginning of some recovery for this girl... if you've read about teenage girls and their "issues", she's been there / done it.... except for doing drugs an...	barisax	11	667	Aug 11, 2009 by MrsGratitude
	I slipped I need your help (family) (Preview) I been doing real good working on myself I feel like a new person. Then WHAM ! I went to a country music concert with my son and ran our check book to low according to him. He verbally hurt me in all the ways he could. He knows I'm getting ready to leave and he says you can't leave me you can't make it on your own...	peacewithin	5	736	Aug 11, 2009 by MrsGratitude
	Second-guessing myself, a little frustrated and concerned - could use a little ESH (Preview) OK - we are starting Day 5 of my AH's recovery. I recognize that it's really really early in the process and I'm trying REALLY hard to stay out of his business - however (yes, I know, that sounds an awful lot like "but") my boundary was that he reach out to a trusted AA friend to get started. So...	blender_girl	8	793	Aug 11, 2009 by Loupiness
	Ness----this one is for You (Preview) Ness, I just wanted to thank you for your answer to my post....You said "I knew the only thing left was to let go and save myself." I needed to hear that I could do that and it would be ok, that it was alright for me to let go because thats what I have to do- -"Let go to save myself" e...	ticswife	1	517	Aug 11, 2009 by Ness
	Pain again (Preview) I have been in Alanon off and on for years. I have recently become addicted to someone one that is a manipulative alcoholic. Yes, I should have seen it coming, but I let it happen. I am detaching, but the pain is almost unbearable at times. Just glad I found this board. I'm taking everything one ho...	Rosepetals	5	684	Aug 10, 2009 by Rosepetals
	Where have all the MIP "old timers" gone:)??? (Preview) Was on the boards again today-my life line somedays, and looked around and realized that I am not seeing a lot of MIP's "Old Timers" around. Where has everyone gone???????? Did we move and no one told me??? Where's the old gang hiding?	shellyj123	24	1043	Aug 10, 2009 by barisax
	Hoping I did the right thing... (Preview) My posts are usually filled with extremely dramatic situations, and unfortunately, today is no different. Today, my alcoholic fiance called his mother and told her he is suicidal. She called me, and I called an ambulance. Well, instead of an ambulance, 8 police officers showed up to our house. ...	mermaid88	10	568	Aug 10, 2009 by mermaid88
	Just had Feathers Ruffled... (Preview) Ok... Have been doing little this morning, BUT Feeling Great, doing some postin, answer'n (Nothing) Phone Calls, and I hear the mail man so ask Son to grab the mail, he brings it back, and my Heart Drops Like a Brick! That Quick.. Up on a Cloud :) To Such Dirt :(... ANOTHER, Letter from Our State, Now sayi...	Jozie	6	792	Aug 10, 2009 by debilyn
	Change as it relates to Step 6 (Preview) The August 8 reading in Courage to Change, pg. 221 talks about how letting go of character defects illicites change in our life and how that is sometimes scary. The fear, I think, is if the God of our understanding removes these defects, what will be left? A hole? A void? I think not. I think God fills it w...	Overcome	3	1164	Aug 10, 2009 by maresie
	Concept 4 - Participation is the key to harmony (Preview) I have been in Alanon since 2000 in many facets, first and foremost face to face meetings, then the gift of online meetings where I had the amazing opportunity to meet in person some other MIPers throughout this country and then to this wonderful message board. So many gifts of this program. Quite hone...	Maria123	3	5795	Aug 10, 2009 by Mandy123
	Big Thank You to Christy (Preview) I couldn't remember who had posted the quotes from Eckhart Tolle's The Power of Now. So I did a search, and it was Christy. I printed those out and read them and thought about them a lot. And yesterday I was in a place with a bigger bookstore and I bought it. I bought 8 books altogether, including Langua...	Temple	1	461	Aug 10, 2009 by Mariner
	Hello Friends I havent yet met (Preview) Hi, My name is Jenni. My husband is 8 mths clean/sober through AA. We have been separated since April 08 due to his addiction. Since that time we have engaged in new relationships. We have 2 beautiful children and are currently thinking about reconciliation. I am a member of Alanon along with a anoth...	Jeninoz	6	890	Aug 10, 2009 by abbyal
	Dropped him off at detox this morning... (Preview) First of all, thank you everyone for your encouraging replies to my last post. Wow, this morning was both amazing and rough at the same time. It was amazing to me that my husband actually went to detox. A few weeks ago I would have told you all that this would never happen. But I believe that me working...	sterling7	9	811	Aug 9, 2009 by sterling7
	just an update (Preview) Someone we have known for years found out he has cirrhosis of the liver and the doctor told him if he wanted to live he had to quit drinking. He quit drinking and I'm glad that he did. He drank for many years. It was so nice to talk to him sober. My bf got laid off from his job Friday because they don't have any mo...	buick23	3	655	Aug 9, 2009 by sterling7
	Need help! (Preview) Hi to all. I am not sure where to put this..... will keep looking New here and I guess I should have acted long ago. My 24 year old daughter has a drinking problem. Has had a drinking problem for some time now....... I would say that she is a professional now. She is heading to her death fast. I have told he...	Carlasdad	8	875	Aug 9, 2009 by Jerry F
	How do you decide what to do? (Preview) For those who don't know, my aH and I have been separated since October last year. We toggle back and forth with spending time, not spending time. Normally I enjoy his company, because I like the person he is underneath all the A-isms. Though I find too much time with him leaves me feeling edgy and irri...	Rora	6	824	Aug 9, 2009 by Jerry F
	Just want to say Hi and thank you for your ES&H from a newbie to board. (Preview) Hi to everyone, Boy am I glad I found this board! The last 17 months have been pure insanity. My H is a dry drunk who attends meetings, but has chosen to not practice the steps or way of life. It has come to the point that he is making a case to validate drinking again. (his words) I have been to f2f meetings, bu...	PixieB	3	475	Aug 9, 2009 by maresie
	Funny How FAST Things Change... (Preview) After my Last post, I went to lunch, prob. ate more then I should for it was my Excuse as a Distraction... Well Phone Rings, and I just figure another one of those "No Work" calls... (Projecting I suppose)...lol Well it turns out being a lady, prob. in her 50's... She starts going down a list of...	Jozie	7	902	Aug 9, 2009 by Jozie
	When A doesn't get their way! (Preview) Just venting tonight... The ^%() hit the fan last night. My dry drunk sober husband "asked" me if he could go out and drink last night with a friend. I give up. I said "I think I've made it perfectly clear you can do anything you want" He knows up and down that I want to file for a divo...	Inpain	4	752	Aug 9, 2009 by Jen
	July Business Minutes (Preview) Sorry for the delay. Promise to do better next month July Business meeting Minutes Meeting was held July 12, 2009 Meeting opened with the serenity prayer Motion to accept June Business Meeting Minutes as posted on the Board - Voted on and accepted Chair meeting schedule was posted and revisedC...	ernie	0	297	Aug 9, 2009 by ernie
	I think my alcoholic made me stronger (Preview) Alot of ways it has held me down or pulled me back. But many things about my active AH made me say ENOUGH! and change things about myself. For instance, when he let his job go, I found work. Best thing I could have done. Because he consistantly drove drunk, I got my liscence and took over the car. I never thou...	RainyJamie	5	554	Aug 9, 2009 by Rora
	And I had been doing so well. (Preview) I saw the ex- ABF last night and had a slip. I had been doing so well taking care of myself, trying to be happy with today, and not trying to force a solution between us. (We're not together, and we're not giving up, nor are we trying again. Distance and opposing schedules keep us apart, and too many slips on...	brownmf	8	657	Aug 9, 2009 by Karilynn
	Detox! (Preview) I can't believe this is actually happening, but my husband is checking into detox at 9am tomorrow morning! I had given up hope for him, and honestly I still don't have long-term hope for him, but since I had given up my expectations, this is actually a pleasant surprise. I want the best for him regardles...	sterling7	4	542	Aug 9, 2009 by Karilynn
	Where I'm at (Preview) I hear that a lot... how do you deal with so much completely alone? I was so full of joy when I was with him and felt like I had someone I could always rely on until suddenly I didn't. Now I'm feeling alone again. I want to get past this but I feel so stuck. So many times I feel like I'm on autopilot and just go...	carolinagirl	6	488	Aug 9, 2009 by Karilynn
	Storage (Preview) I took the day off my part time job today to start the storage project. It is indeed daunting. I have a small amount of the ex A's junk which right now is not triggering me. I'm hopeful I can get the stuff out of storage in a matter of weeks but there is a lot of sorting out to do and donating and so forth. Mak...	maresie	3	603	Aug 9, 2009 by buick23
	Was taught something today (Preview) Was a hard one too! I am a tease. If you knew me, and saw me you would know I say it jokingly and never meaning to hurt anyone. I teased someone in Chat. Though it did not bother them, it bothered another member. It would have been nice if this member would have said, "hey debilyn sometimes people come i...	debilyn	13	890	Aug 8, 2009 by belle1
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