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Pain again
(Preview)
I have been in Alanon off and on for years. I have recently become addicted to someone one that is a manipulative alcoholic. Yes, I should have seen it coming, but I let it happen. I am detaching, but the pain is almost unbearable at times. Just glad I found this board. I'm taking everything one ho...
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Rosepetals
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5
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670
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Where have all the MIP "old timers" gone:)???
(Preview)
Was on the boards again today-my life line somedays, and looked around and realized that I am not seeing a lot of MIP's "Old Timers" around. Where has everyone gone???????? Did we move and no one told me??? Where's the old gang hiding?
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shellyj123
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24
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1031
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Hoping I did the right thing...
(Preview)
My posts are usually filled with extremely dramatic situations, and unfortunately, today is no different. Today, my alcoholic fiance called his mother and told her he is suicidal. She called me, and I called an ambulance. Well, instead of an ambulance, 8 police officers showed up to our house. ...
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mermaid88
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10
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542
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Just had Feathers Ruffled...
(Preview)
Ok... Have been doing little this morning, BUT Feeling Great, doing some postin, answer'n (Nothing) Phone Calls, and I hear the mail man so ask Son to grab the mail, he brings it back, and my Heart Drops Like a Brick! That Quick.. Up on a Cloud :) To Such Dirt :(... ANOTHER, Letter from Our State, Now sayi...
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Jozie
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6
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778
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Change as it relates to Step 6
(Preview)
The August 8 reading in Courage to Change, pg. 221 talks about how letting go of character defects illicites change in our life and how that is sometimes scary. The fear, I think, is if the God of our understanding removes these defects, what will be left? A hole? A void? I think not. I think God fills it w...
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Overcome
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3
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1144
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Concept 4 - Participation is the key to harmony
(Preview)
I have been in Alanon since 2000 in many facets, first and foremost face to face meetings, then the gift of online meetings where I had the amazing opportunity to meet in person some other MIPers throughout this country and then to this wonderful message board. So many gifts of this program. Quite hone...
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Maria123
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3
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5381
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Big Thank You to Christy
(Preview)
I couldn't remember who had posted the quotes from Eckhart Tolle's The Power of Now. So I did a search, and it was Christy. I printed those out and read them and thought about them a lot. And yesterday I was in a place with a bigger bookstore and I bought it. I bought 8 books altogether, including Langua...
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Temple
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1
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449
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Hello Friends I havent yet met
(Preview)
Hi, My name is Jenni. My husband is 8 mths clean/sober through AA. We have been separated since April 08 due to his addiction. Since that time we have engaged in new relationships. We have 2 beautiful children and are currently thinking about reconciliation. I am a member of Alanon along with a anoth...
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Jeninoz
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6
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879
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Dropped him off at detox this morning...
(Preview)
First of all, thank you everyone for your encouraging replies to my last post. Wow, this morning was both amazing and rough at the same time. It was amazing to me that my husband actually went to detox. A few weeks ago I would have told you all that this would never happen. But I believe that me working...
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sterling7
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9
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789
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just an update
(Preview)
Someone we have known for years found out he has cirrhosis of the liver and the doctor told him if he wanted to live he had to quit drinking. He quit drinking and I'm glad that he did. He drank for many years. It was so nice to talk to him sober. My bf got laid off from his job Friday because they don't have any mo...
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buick23
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3
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644
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Need help!
(Preview)
Hi to all. I am not sure where to put this..... will keep looking New here and I guess I should have acted long ago. My 24 year old daughter has a drinking problem. Has had a drinking problem for some time now....... I would say that she is a professional now. She is heading to her death fast. I have told he...
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Carlasdad
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8
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863
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How do you decide what to do?
(Preview)
For those who don't know, my aH and I have been separated since October last year. We toggle back and forth with spending time, not spending time. Normally I enjoy his company, because I like the person he is underneath all the A-isms. Though I find too much time with him leaves me feeling edgy and irri...
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Rora
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6
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810
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Just want to say Hi and thank you for your ES&H from a newbie to board.
(Preview)
Hi to everyone, Boy am I glad I found this board! The last 17 months have been pure insanity. My H is a dry drunk who attends meetings, but has chosen to not practice the steps or way of life. It has come to the point that he is making a case to validate drinking again. (his words) I have been to f2f meetings, bu...
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PixieB
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3
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460
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Funny How FAST Things Change...
(Preview)
After my Last post, I went to lunch, prob. ate more then I should for it was my Excuse as a Distraction... Well Phone Rings, and I just figure another one of those "No Work" calls... (Projecting I suppose)...lol Well it turns out being a lady, prob. in her 50's... She starts going down a list of...
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Jozie
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7
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882
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When A doesn't get their way!
(Preview)
Just venting tonight... The ^%() hit the fan last night. My dry drunk sober husband "asked" me if he could go out and drink last night with a friend. I give up. I said "I think I've made it perfectly clear you can do anything you want" He knows up and down that I want to file for a divo...
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Inpain
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4
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733
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July Business Minutes
(Preview)
Sorry for the delay. Promise to do better next month July Business meeting Minutes Meeting was held July 12, 2009 Meeting opened with the serenity prayer Motion to accept June Business Meeting Minutes as posted on the Board - Voted on and accepted Chair meeting schedule was posted and revisedC...
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ernie
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0
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285
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I think my alcoholic made me stronger
(Preview)
Alot of ways it has held me down or pulled me back. But many things about my active AH made me say ENOUGH! and change things about myself. For instance, when he let his job go, I found work. Best thing I could have done. Because he consistantly drove drunk, I got my liscence and took over the car. I never thou...
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RainyJamie
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5
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541
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And I had been doing so well.
(Preview)
I saw the ex- ABF last night and had a slip. I had been doing so well taking care of myself, trying to be happy with today, and not trying to force a solution between us. (We're not together, and we're not giving up, nor are we trying again. Distance and opposing schedules keep us apart, and too many slips on...
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brownmf
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8
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644
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Detox!
(Preview)
I can't believe this is actually happening, but my husband is checking into detox at 9am tomorrow morning! I had given up hope for him, and honestly I still don't have long-term hope for him, but since I had given up my expectations, this is actually a pleasant surprise. I want the best for him regardles...
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sterling7
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4
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531
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Where I'm at
(Preview)
I hear that a lot... how do you deal with so much completely alone? I was so full of joy when I was with him and felt like I had someone I could always rely on until suddenly I didn't. Now I'm feeling alone again. I want to get past this but I feel so stuck. So many times I feel like I'm on autopilot and just go...
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carolinagirl
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6
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476
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Storage
(Preview)
I took the day off my part time job today to start the storage project. It is indeed daunting. I have a small amount of the ex A's junk which right now is not triggering me. I'm hopeful I can get the stuff out of storage in a matter of weeks but there is a lot of sorting out to do and donating and so forth. Mak...
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maresie
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3
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591
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Was taught something today
(Preview)
Was a hard one too! I am a tease. If you knew me, and saw me you would know I say it jokingly and never meaning to hurt anyone. I teased someone in Chat. Though it did not bother them, it bothered another member. It would have been nice if this member would have said, "hey debilyn sometimes people come i...
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debilyn
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13
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874
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August 9th (9 PM EST) Business Meeting Agenda
(Preview)
August 9, 2009 (9 PM est) Business Meeting Agenda I. Review of July minutesII. Review of op meeting scheduleIII. Old business-new op liason committee member needed ...
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danz123
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1
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547
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Any ESH on this?
(Preview)
Hi -- I'm a longtime lurker, and I'd appreciate some ES&H on my situation if you have any! My A is my ex-husband -- he's a very secretive drinker, so that it took me a long time to figure out what was really going on. For instance, I've never seen him drink, not once in more than 15 years. But some reall...
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Mattie
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6
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494
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Each day gets a little better
(Preview)
Thank you to everyone who has given me input. I don't think I would have survived without my online Al-Anon buddies and my supportive family. Today is a lot better than yesterday because I'm slowly coming to terms with looking at him for who he really is; which is a sick person. Plus I'm looking at myself...
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kristielaine
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3
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412
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"i don't buy it"
(Preview)
last night in f2f, someone shared about this article in the NY Times. she said that it read like the woman who wrote the article was in program the key to the share was how the the wife responded to her husband telling her he didn't love her anymore. she said, "i don't buy it". it's a good stor...
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xter
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5
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568
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Yay I have a sponsor now!!
(Preview)
Hi everyone, just wanted to share that I now have a sponsor!!
Yesterday I went to one of my f2f meetings and a lady there offered to sponsor me!! I am so happy to finally have a sponsor and the guidance she will give me!!
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Loveridden
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2
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485
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THE BABY WAS BORN AFTER ALL!
(Preview)
My nephew's baby was actually born! He was trying to mess with his mother or something. She told me what she knew about her son's experiences with having his baby with his girlfriend --he is a very sick boy. Yeah, a boy. He is almost 20 & maturity wise he is just a child. So, anyway, no worries abou...
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Hoot Nanny
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2
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650
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12 Prayers...
(Preview)
Ok, Yesterday I did some searching to find the 12 Prayers to go with the 12 Steps... This is what I came up with... I Personally Laminated them so I can then carry them with me when I need them... If there is anything Differant of Wrong about them... I am sure I will be let know... :) Hope someone else can find...
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Jozie
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3
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2201
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Wondering why EXABF would tell me such a thing?Is it a program thing program or just him??
(Preview)
I've noticed that since I have become single again, that for some reason the men seem to be crawling out of the woodwork so to speak:). I've been asked out more times than I can count and have several men I talk to currently, but have been very direct in where I am and what I am and am not looking for. It seem...
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shellyj123
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6
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577
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Letting Go of my alcoholics medical condition and turning it over to God
(Preview)
I was reminded today to use the slogan "Let Go and Let God" when I read today's reading in ODAAT in Al-Anon. (August 7, p. 220) I have been trying to do this since I found out that my husband may have esphageal varices and a life-threatening condition with his throat from drinking (see earlier...
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Overcome
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2
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411
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my aha moment
(Preview)
I have realized today that as long as I stay busy I am fine. When I have nothing to do and I'm by myself I start getting annoyed about my bf not being here. Today was the longest hours I've worked in a while and I'm so tired and sore. I am fine with being by myself right now. Maybe I'm just too tired to worry about...
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buick23
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4
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408
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Letting Go of the Outcome = Unexpected Results
(Preview)
Well, I got the draft of the divorce petition this week. HP intervened yesterday by not providing me with the opportunity or the privacy to discuss my questions about it with my lawyer. As a result, the opportunity to discuss my intent with my AH presented itself last night. He was (as usual) under t...
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blender_girl
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8
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896
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Thank you All
(Preview)
Thank you all for taking the time to pass on your wisdom...yesterday was a long day and it really helped to know there are people that have been where I am now and are willing to share about it. I packed up my A's stuff yesterday and put it in the shed where he can pick it up whenever hes ready I really didnt w...
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ticswife
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3
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414
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Taking my time
(Preview)
Im finding the more Im learning the more contemplative and reflective Im becoming. I seem to be going through a period of quiet change.Things are tough going with my Ason for the last 3 weeks, so Im thankful that I heeded the wisdom of my MIP family and took myself to a f2f....the meeting is only once a wee...
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Ness
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3
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425
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Simplifying
(Preview)
My life with the ex A was completely chaotic. He had his own parade of charactors who also had their chaos. Every day was one long nightmare and I got used to dreading every moment. Right now I am in the place of working to simplify everything. Of course I want it all done tomorrow. I'm going to my storage...
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maresie
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3
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320
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Went to my second meeting
(Preview)
I bought the book....we are working on step two so it's near the beginning which is great. And found out about another one closer to me from a member there so that will be good too. I'm so glad I found this site and my meeting....it has helped so much and I have so much to learn...but it's a beginning. Any...
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katiecat
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5
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501
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Just for today~Just for me:)
(Preview)
Woke up this am and went straight to my am daily readers of which there are 3-lol! Not sure which one but one talked about Just for Today and how this 24 hour period was all I have to work with and all the wonderful ways I could enjoy it. I decided right then and there that that is just what I would do. No crazy...
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shellyj123
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9
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543
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You guys give me strength
(Preview)
I just wanted to say thanks to everyone here that comes on and takes time to respond to posts. For me, it has helped tremendously. I can't always get to F2F meetings, even though I prefer that, b/c I have little ones at home, and scheduling is difficult. This board is so helpful for those moments of exp...
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Inpain
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4
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404
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Really mad!
(Preview)
(((Family))), So sad once again the news this morning reported that the woman who killed 8 people in a car crash was drunk & high. What a waste. What will it take for people to wake up and realize that this is a disease? That people need help and that we owe it to future generations to educate, regul...
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Karilynn
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11
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684
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You CAN NOT rely on the alcoholic
(Preview)
This statement sucks. I know it. I hate it but it's true. There was a day we had this discussion in a F2F meeting. If you're new to al-anon (as I am) our members suggested backup plans. So, one member had the expectation her husband would remain sober as they worked on cleaning out a house. He didn't...
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Inpain
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6
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912
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Husband has gone to ER
(Preview)
I just got a call from my husband that he was coming back from the ER (we are seperated going through a divorce). He said that he went to open a beer and couldn't swallow it and new he was in trouble. He has no insurance, so after going to several hospitals he found one that would take him and he said they didn'...
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Overcome
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6
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515
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New here
(Preview)
Hello All, I am new here and not really sure where to even start...I am married to an A but I am sure I dont have to tell anyone here how our life together has went for the past 4 years because if there is an A in your life you know all about the lies, the stealing,the covering up, the disappointment, the tr...
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ticswife
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5
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413
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So many emotions
(Preview)
Today is a really hard day. I'm very depressed and scared. I woke up crying because I feel so used and violated. I can hardly cope here at work. I just can't understand how someone can be such a horrible human being to treat anyone the way I was treated and have no remorse. I'm also depressed because I allow...
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kristielaine
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7
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454
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Good news & need help
(Preview)
Good news! I got a job. I will be moving to Goodyear, AZ at the end of this month. I will be working with the forclosure sector and rehabilitating the neighborhoods that have melted in the forclosure fiasco. I need help. For the life of me, I can't find any contact information re meetings in the area. God k...
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Tiger2006
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6
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484
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Saying goodbye to a dry drunk and my husband of 10 years.
(Preview)
Last month, after 5 long months of fighting and begging him to tell me who he was having an affair with, I threw my husband of 10 years out of the house. I quickly confirmed my worst fears that he had been cheating on me since February with a girl who shares his fairly recently discovered spiritual beliefs...
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Princess8899
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7
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3697
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Heartbroken
(Preview)
Boyfriend and I broke up, it's over for good he says... no explanation. One day he loved me with all his heart and two days later he didn't love me anymore - or so he says. So I'm trying to right myself again, realize that I leaned too hard on a rotten post and fell down again. I'm still brushing myself off...
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carolinagirl
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8
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874
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SELF CARE
(Preview)
Last night when my sober ABF went to his meeting I was on the computer and looked up co-dependency on you tube. It was like a cloud of denial was lifted. I found myself crying for all the pain I HAVE PUT MYSELF THROUGH. THE words self sacrificing jummped out at me. That is what I have done all my life put e...
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Tracy
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6
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864
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Sponsorship
(Preview)
Sponsorship was a topic for tonight's meeting and since no one shared on it, I thought I would post a topic on it. I have been doing a lot of reading in the ODAAT in Al-Anon and Courage to Change, mediation books on this topic. It is a very important one and one that shouldn't be taken lightly if you are asked...
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Overcome
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2
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764
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This is tearing me apart
(Preview)
I can't think straight anymore. My head hurts! What are my choices? Me and my wife (an A in denial), are about to break up. She hasn't really spoken to me in 10 days now. Since she found out that I told our doctor that she's still drinking, even at almost 6 months pregnant. This is my problem: We have two kids...
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ajay147
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8
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780
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Oh so sad ...
(Preview)
I have posted before but under a different name, which I can't remember. Today I am distraught, as I was yesterday, last week, last year, two years ago. I have been 'hanging on' to a dry drunk who left my family, (we have a 5 year old son together) and moved countries. For the last 2 years I have wanted to b...
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sad4life
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4
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448
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new here
(Preview)
OK, this is new to me. I really don't know if my husband is an alcoholic. I know he drinks everyday and is so obnoxious i can't stand him when he is drinking. His drinking doesn't affect his work, he doesn't drink in the morning or anything like that. It is the same routine everyday. After work he stops for a...
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imasharm
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3
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652
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Freakin annoying........!
(Preview)
Just as I thought I feel better, I'm back to being sad. I'm getting sick of myself at this point
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kristielaine
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5
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673
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Newcome- logistical ?s about meetings
(Preview)
Hi there- Im new to all of this so am getting my feet wet- glad to have found this board. My husband wants to save our family and get his drinking under control but it is a bumpy road and he has been in therapy about 6 weeks. We have a LOT of underlying stress (child with cancer) that has caused him to progre...
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Joanie
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5
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592
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opps
(Preview)
Hello family, I made a boo-boo. In my post yesterday I said that it was page 174 in C2C, actually it is 74. That's what I get for quoting a page from a book when the book was home and I was not :) Yours in recovery, Mandy
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Mandy123
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1
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280
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Codependant
(Preview)
Dear (((All))) My name is Carol and I'm codependant I was reading an earlier post by Tracy and was prompted to post the following 'check list' for codependancy. When I first read this list it was with great amazement. I could put a tick next to every statement I thought THATS ME! All of it applied to...
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Mariner
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2
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692
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An Epiphany
(Preview)
Thanks everyone. Slowly I'm starting see the light. I had a chat with a board member on the AA board, and started talking about how on our birthdays, this month he wanted to get a hotel room. well he wanted to invite this guy that I don't like, who is an alcoholic, and his friends girlfriend, and I remember...
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kristielaine
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1
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582
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How things transpired is what keeps me.........
(Preview)
Can you help me think my way through this please, because this is what keeps me lingering on this entire issue with my EAB because of the way he left it. This is what transpired the week leading to our breakup. That Tuesday before our breakup, he and his mother had some sort of big argument where she confir...
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kristielaine
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7
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745
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Letting go..
(Preview)
In my honest opinion, it's far easier said than done. For 8 months I've struggled with that. I might have a difference of opinion here to on the interpretation of "letting go" - but for me, it means letting go of HIS actions. The consequences to his actions are MY responsibility. For exam...
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Inpain
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6
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696
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....sugar and spice and everything nice.
(Preview)
Hi ((((Family)))) I just had a moment I have to tell about. I spent most of the day today in San Antonio playing. I had a great time and was pulling back into my hometown about 9 o'clock. I am tired, but was trying to decide if I wanted to pull into the video store near my house to rent a movie to "watch&...
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david62
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12
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574
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