The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
Ok... Have been doing little this morning, BUT Feeling Great, doing some postin, answer'n (Nothing) Phone Calls, and I hear the mail man so ask Son to grab the mail, he brings it back, and my Heart Drops Like a Brick! That Quick.. Up on a Cloud :) To Such Dirt :(...
ANOTHER, Letter from Our State, Now saying My Deseased AFather owes them close to 4 Grand... Well just at that Second, I forget EVERYTHING... The Whole World Calapses like a brick, and as I am Sitting Here thinkin to my self... Honestly... "Happy f$%k'n Weekend to ME!" Me... Like "I" am some kind of "Ol Mighty"... lol...
As I Look down in discqust getting ready to "Wollar" in Self Pity... I see my Hand First, with a Ring that says on the outside..."One Day At A Time", and on the inside, is the Serenity Prayer... I glance further to my Wrist, were my bracelet is that reads "How Important Is It!"
So NOW.. At This Moment I need to know... How Important Is It? humm Welp... Can't Control it, Didn't Cause it, Can't Stop it..
I was Reaching out for My Anxiety Medicine when this first happened.. Impalse.. I am not fully convinced at this moment weather I will cave on that one or not...I only take in moments of need, despiration, (Or so I tell myself) and currantly I am askin for a push forward...Strength to really Just LET IT GO...
Stop the burning Desire in my stomach from driving me NUTS over something I have NO Control, I know I am powerless, but seems when the breathing gets easy, there is always that KICK that has me back by the neck... I know in my Heart... This too will Pass... Just at some moments, Not so rare... I have this impalse that just over fills me with anxiety, and angst... Breathing slowly Helps, Breathing Deeply Helps... And The Cure I have not yet been handed... "My" Right Now, Right Here, in this Moment, lets Panic.... Has Calmed... but my Buring desire to "Flip OUT" to Scream Even, Is Still there... Workin hard on that one...
So Currantly I am attemping to return to my "Happy Place (AkA) HP" as soon as I can Find the right Package...All Prayers Welcome and Grately & Gracously Excepted :o)
Thanks for Letting me Share... Let'n Go & Let'n God... How Important is It !
I remember when people like that would mention my mother. I would lose it as I told them a hundred times she has passed and I was sick of them bringing her up.
I even sent them all copies of her death certificate.
Good for you for learning to react differently. hugs,debilyn
Deb is correct You are not responsible for the bill and all you need to do is send a copy of the death certificate.
I know it is hard when you think it is all over-to get another reminder but you are doing fine Take deep breaths Look at your ring and wrist and you will be OK
I'm not sure where your father's estate is but there is usually a window of time before an estate is settled. I know when my mother died (unexpectedly) the whole issue of her will and the clearing up of her belongings was huge for me. I was incredibly triggered and very much up and down. Do you have a grief support group. There are some that are wonderful and many many people are extremely ambivalent about their parents death. I hope you will take care of yourself.
