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This has been a rough two weeks and I don't know how I got through it accept for God and my family, and of course my Al-Anon buddies (online and f2f).
I am finally doing much better. I think about him a little, but I only allow myself to go but so far in my thoughts about him because I get angry, so I just focus on something else positive. I still pray for him though.
Also the inability to sleep due to post traumatic stress has gotten much better, but I notice if I go past some place where either he and I went, or the last day I spoke to him, I have a slight panic attack, however it is nothing like it was last week.
I can honestly say I don't want to hear from him ever!
One Day at A Time is all we can do, and for me most days it is One MOMENT at a time, but be easy on you... Take care of You and allow HP to take it from here... I know easier said then done, but I too am practicing this very step myself...
Keep Coming Back, Keep hitting those F2F meetings, and Keep Sharing.... You will find Peace, just not on your terms but your HP's :o)... Progress Not Profection :) Good for you :)
One Day at A Time is all we can do, and for me most days it is One MOMENT at a time, but be easy on you... Take care of You and allow HP to take it from here... I know easier said then done, but I too am practicing this very step myself...
Keep Coming Back, Keep hitting those F2F meetings, and Keep Sharing.... You will find Peace, just not on your terms but your HP's :o)... Progress Not Profection :) Good for you :)
Love & Prayers Jozie
Indeed! And all of my medical test came back negative! And no pregnancies, so his slick selfish move didn't work either
I went through ptsd, and was lucky enough to get a rx for ambien. It really helped me through things. I am just now weaning myself off. I'm not a drug advocate, but there are time when I was not physically capable of helping myself and needed assistance.
You know one thing that helped me when my alcoholic exwife was still renting room in my head? I focused on all of the good stuff about her and didn't make any of it a reason to "rekindled the flame"....er forest fire. Eventually I helped her move out of my head and I locked that door and put out the sign "Not Ready for Renting". I used it for storage and now have found myself needing to clean it out and take the stuff to the dump. LOL
When I left my exAH, I had so many triggers to obsess on him, we recorded cartoons & watched them together. I had to very quickly give myself permission to take back the things I enjoyed & not allow him to have all of it & ruin things for me, something as simple as watching a show - and he would rush back to mind - all of our little inside jokes we had -- but I could see it was going to mess up my whole life. I took back what I wanted, he cant own that stuff, like the simpson's - hehe.
Music especially was another big things and he doesnt get to ruin that for me either. There is a member here that has on her footer - take no prisoners - and that was how I felt! It was my life, just b/c he was a part of it for 5 yrs, he didnt get to own me.
It will take time, but you will get through this. I know for me, this was very empowering... to own the stuff & take it back. I've left him ten years now and I still think of him sometimes and honestly I miss his talent but unfortunately it comes with the very sick mind he posseses.
It's ok to be angry too, and to recognize our pain, it helps get it out. No one likes to get hurt & it is not easy, but it does happen, to all of us. For me, it has made me so much stronger & showed me exactly what I dont want & wont I wont tolerate in my life.
I'm glad u had an easier week this time & ur tests came back negative, that is wonderful news!!! Glad ur here & keep working it, you're worth it!
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Light, Love, Peace, Blessings & Healing to Us All. God's Will Be Done. Amen.
