The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
I guess, maybe. you may feel like me sometimes: I look around and I see new names and think oh dear where are my "class-mates" [wobbly lip and a whimper] and then I realise that it is OKAY and it is safe and it is fine that the class members are changing all of the time, just like me.
I have, and still am, changing however it is good to meet up with "ol' friends" here on the board as well as learn and met "new friends".
So, here goes.
Still no f2f meetings, but finding my recovery is coming along even though it seems to hit ruts when my cartwheels go of the track. And then there are times when I am not concentrating too good and I end up going off the beaten track only to arrive at a dead end where I have to turn around and work my way back to where I took a wrong turn.
Of course there are times when there is a fork in the road with no road signs to say where either lead and of course that dreadful dilemma when I come to the crossroads and the choices are too much for me making me dither and dally until I feel my way forward down what I hope is the right track.
On the whole though I think I am making headway and I am still tracking a true course.
However, this last week has revealed a number of pit stops that will be required in the near future and this has given me that wobble that I feel in the pit of my stomach when I need my true and trusted family and friends to be there for me and help me when I feel my legs are like jelly and going to give way under me.
I have been referred for further surgery which should be within the next 18 weeks [new government rulings I am told, unless I opt out if it is not with my own Consultant Surgeon...see it is not guaranteed to be my Consultant Surgeon who operates within the 18 weeks and if I want my surgeon to do it then I may have to wait longer than that...I will only know when the booking forms come through.]
Clever these government officers, they make the rules to fit their pathetic little "targets" and if I don't fit in with them they tell me it is at my own risk!!!!!!!!!!!
Sorry, I get so cross with these civil servants who have nothing better to do than think up ways to pass the blame on to joe public.
Anyway, the second thing is that I may need surgery on my knee too as my Consultant homed in on that and immediately questioned why I had not been referred to an Orthopedic Surgeon or had MRI scans at the very least, telling me that my knee would be compounding my back as I was not walking properly thus throwing my spine out even further.
So I am having a real moan tonight.
Why after seeing five doctors and being taken into hospital on a board in a neck brace was I not MRI scanned at that time...BUDGETS!!!
If I lived in the US of A I would be in serious trouble, as it is I am in trouble here, though I think my Consultant Surgeon is going to do his best to see me right.
Thank God for him. Bah humbug to MORE SURGERY.
Deep breath. Sigh. I know, I will be okay, I just feel a bit fed up right now. I thought I had done with the surgery and to be told that two more are on the cards, with the possibility of three further lots is a bit of a blow.
So Alanon took a back seat, and I hope it has not resulted in me backsliding.
Thank you for listening y'all. I promise not to make a habit of this, well leastways not too often that is. This is all par for the course of living alone and not having family to help take care of things as well as me. I have to do so much forward planning and sometimes it just all gets a bit top heavy. *Sigh*
Suzannah
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Out of the ruin of my past I have found the fortress of myself and I know how to defend it.
Strive for WISDOM; Seek SERENITY; NEVER compromise your INTEGRITY.
Suzannah it is so nice to hear from you. I am sorry you have to deal with gov garbage, and have to have more surgery. But you do sound good and healthy, if a bit tired and cranky(don't blame you there).
It has been a joy to watch the miracle of your recovery as I walked through my own.
__________________
~Jen~
"When you come to the edge of all you know you must believe in one of two things... there will be earth on which to stand or you will be given wings." ~Unknown
Suzannah! Thank you for your post! You are going through so much, and being in pain makes it that much harder. I hope you get some relief soon... I am sending healing vibes your way!
Love & Prayers go out to you, and I am sure no matter what happens or when, You will be just fine... For you have the Love & Support of your MIP Family... And you have the prayers of many...
your subject line reminds me of something we had in the USA, they were weebles. And the commercial was weebles wobble but they don't fall down seems appropriate for your post too
keep working it girl, we may fall down but we can get up, dust ourselves off and keep moving forward.
love in recovery, Maria
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If I am not for me, who will be? If I am only for myself, then who am I? If not now, when?
Bah humbug to MORE SURGERY.
.
