Al-Anon Family Group - Al-Anon Family Group

pineapple · pineapple

My Christmas gift has been finding this forum yesterday. I am sure I'll be here often reading the posts and expressing my own questions and doubts (and maybe some triumphs). But for the first time in many months I feel hopeful and that indeed is a gift. Thank you so much.

Holly09 · Holly09

MERRY CHRISTMAS TO ALL! Thank you to all the MIP family here that makes my sometimes unbearable life better! Have a safe holiday. Holly

belle1 · belle1

From Our House To Yours A Very Peaceful Christmas To Everyone

CJ · CJ

When I remember that each person is doing the "best" they can, I am able to forgive them and stay light and usually happy/fun. I also believe that if I'm worth being forgiven, so is everyone else I come into contact with, including toxic family members. If I'm finding behaviors hard to deal...

shellyj123 · shellyj123

I just wanted to Thank those who took the time to read and respond to my post. As you can tell my life has been anything but "level" as of late and it seems that as soon as I try to pull myself up, something else is thrown back at me, but again I try to get up. Today started out with ripping loose some...

fishinmama · fishinmama

Good morning family, Just got a call from the county jail, seems my daughter got in a wreck last night. I didn't get all the details as only the first minute was free. Then I was prompted to enter my debit card to buy more talking time. Could it be....Some Alanon prompting???? I thought why should I pay...

Nodaybut2day · Nodaybut2day

My cell phone died on Sunday, after my visit with XAH. I didn't think to charge it up on Monday morning. I plugged it in Monday afternoon at work and forgot it there until this morning. This is what came up on the screen once I turned it back on: 5 text messages from XAH. Monday, 9:04 p.m. If you're awake, I re...

pineapple · pineapple

hello, I am new here and don't know where to start. I have finally realized that the man I live with is an alcoholic. At first I thought he just had a ¨problem¨ that he would sometimes drink too much. That would be like every 3 or 4 months. But it´s been getting worse and the past few months he goes on binges fo...

Maria123 · Maria123

Happy Birthday David !!! You are finally as old as I am It's a gift to me (ha ha) to have been part of your recovery. Hope your day is a great one, Maria

Tattyhead · Tattyhead

Just wondering how to get rid of this feeling in the pit of my stomach that Christmas will all fall apart this year. My daughter and her fiance and my sister-in-law are all coming for Christmas lunch so should be jolly - but what if AH doesn't behave - what if he decides to be ill - needs to go to hospital or ma...

Rocky38 · Rocky38

Hi. MIP family. This is the flip side of my previous post. I would love to hear more from people who left and what the outcome was. Hugs Rocky

Gailey · Gailey

For the past couple of years I could depend on my son not drinking on the weekends while his daughters were visiting. I even said recently that he never drinks when they are coming up. Well, Friday he was drunk when I brought them to my house. I made him leave and go somewhere for the night. My husband took h...

Overcome · Overcome

Christmas can be a hard time of year for some because of bad memories, current alcoholic situations, financial hardships, struggles with the commercialism of the holiday or just an overabundance of "too much yuletide joy". I have put together a "Christmas Survival List" f...

ythannah · ythannah

Not even a week has passed since my post in Hollie's "Why do they stay?" thread about how I loved my ABF.... and I'm dumping him. I guess what I'm looking for is confirmation that I've done the right thing, and how to feel better about it. The backstory: I'm a child of two alcoholic parents. My...

Hoot Nanny · Hoot Nanny

I HAD ANOTHER HORRIBLE EXPERIENCE ON SAT. REMEMBER I SAID THAT THE WEEK WOULDN'T BE RIGHT WITHOUT A FEW BAD DAYS? WELL..I AM KICKING MYSELF FOR SAYING THAT NOW! WITHOUT TOO MANY DETAILS; SOME PEOPLE IN MY TOWN THINK I AM A THIEF AND THEY BELIEVE THAT THEY HAVE REASON TO BELIEVE THIS. I KNOW WHAT I DID &...

maresie · maresie

Today my TV blew out and I now have to go get another one even though my funds are low. Normally pre al anon this would be a huge crisis and I would feel like a victim. Today I see it as a task I have to do and one I can be quite good at. Obviously due to my limited funds I won't be getting a 40 inch screen but I will b...

shellyj123 · shellyj123

Hi MIP family! Have missed you all tremendously! Sitting up is not the most comfortable right now so I will keep this brief and touch back later. The surgery experience from start to finish was a nightmare-which included waking up on the OR table, being dressed in someone else's underclothing, and c...

marmare · marmare

Haven't posted in so long. My AH has been for the most part in controlled drinking stage...the last year he has slipped more and more. I made the decision to move out of our home. When I told him in the begining of Nov. that I would be moving out come Feb or March ...he told me to GET OUT by the 1st of the year...

John · John

Still Amazed and Excited! 20 years laterReply Quote More Edit PostDelete PostBan IPReport Spam To celebrate an alcoholic that doesn't drink is like applauding a cowboy with hemroids for not riding his horse. When the darn things hurt enough and he has tried every way possible to ride without...

Overcome · Overcome

I have had several people request that I post my story so here goes: I myself did not grow up with alcoholic parents, but did have a very dysfunctional family in the way that we communicated with each other. There was much triangulation between my mom, my dad and me. My dad (probably a sober alcoholic) di...

Augustine · Augustine

This is my first time reaching out for help. After reading some of the posts I have to admit I am a litle intimidated. It's weird because on one hand I would have liked to think that I would never be in this position, but on the other hand I think I always knew I would. I am married to an unadmitted A and it is rea...

kerry5 · kerry5

I am having xmas eve tonight with my kids. As they will be with my ex this year for xmas. I will not be home in time to chair. if an op can please fill in.. thank you Kerry

Mobirdie · Mobirdie

My 40 yo A/DA son entered himself into detox and then rehab. I was quite proud of him for taking those steps and still am. He had been living with us for around 9 months with stipulations that we would support him in what he must do. Those stipulations were... Stay clean and sober Go to meetings regular...

belle1 · belle1

Lauras family have been told it could take weeks before they can release her body. Her hubby (sober A) hasnt yet found a way to tell the boys, reason being he admits to being a coward(his own words) and her death being on the 16th and oldest sons 11th birthday on the 20th and next is christmas ..bless him, g...

Jozie · Jozie

Surgery went well as well as it could, She is home however, She is still in Alot of pain, So any and All that could spare some more Prayers Please keep them coming... She is down & out and needs a MIP Uplift if you all could help out :o) If you could spare a message of love... Anything to help her get out o...

Debilyn · Debilyn

Went and saw AH at the prison sunday. When the visit was over, I got this rush of emotion. Started to cry as he hugged me goodbye. He said everything will be ok. He probably thought I was crying for him. I was crying because we will never be ok again, there is no we at all. That night I had dreams of someone tel...

White Rabbit · White Rabbit

I was in an open AA meeting this morning - it's a step 10, 11, and 12 meeting, and it's my favorite one all week. :) This morning we were talking about Step 10. "Continued to take personal inventory and when we were wrong, promptly admitted it." This has been on my mind a lot the last few days,...

3dogs · 3dogs

Hello, I am new here. My husband of 16 years is an alcoholic. I am at my wits end in trying to help him. I don't know what to do, but I know I will not leave. The drinking is progressively getting worse. He blames all of our problems on everyone but himself. The frustrating part is that I am graduate schoo...

shellyj123 · shellyj123

Just got the call to tell me that surgery is tomorrow at 730am.....I am the first of the day-YEAH! Funny last night I started praying, asking my HP to please get me in there as early as I could, and I'd love to be first......that way it's not so long that I have to go without a drink (which is the HARDEST thin...

carolinagirl · carolinagirl

The last couple of weeks have been a time of a lot of transformation for me. Well, basically since my ex boyfriend and I split up. I have had a lot of chaos at home related to the oldest and middle children and have been dealing with a lot of stress related to that. Also, going to school every other weeken...

fishinmama · fishinmama

I had posted in the past that due to some medical problems I can not drive right now. I live in a rural area and that makes it tough. Today though I get to get out. I am going to lunch with family and then hopefully stop by a good friends house. I am so excited since Thanksgiving the only place I have been is...

noclue · noclue

I have been reading a few post there was a comment about treating others better than yourself. This really hit home I'm guilty, I don't drink or drug I just don't have any desire. My wife on the otherhand who has been clean and sober for almost five years lives everyday to stay that way. When she first cam...

MaryPoppins · MaryPoppins

My daughter is sobbing, grieving terribly for her cat. This cat was 20 years old and has been her comfort during the A's binges and rages. This cat has dried her tears with his fur, "kissed" (licked) her tears away and stood still while she sobbed into his fur, burying her face, hiding from...

Jerry F · Jerry F

Aloha MIPers/Al-Anon Family Groupers...The consequence of practice is new found or in this case old found knowledge and awareness which is so supportive to ones recovery from the disease and its effects. I remember in early program reading from inside the ODAAT daily reader the wisdom of Dr. Har...

Ginger · Ginger

Hi, I am new here and looking for advise. I have been married 20 years, the problem began 6 years ago. My AH has had help and is in AA. A year ago I thought he reached his rock bottom, and has been sober until about 8weeks ago, when he fell of the wagon for the weekend. I thought when you hit rock bottom you were d...

scotslass · scotslass

Hi everyone im new to this forum have read it a few times thought id post i left my husband finally after 8 years of crap finding it very very difficult not to think about him wonder if hes drinking etc god only knows why but im angry i guess that ive left and hes still drinking what does it take him to stop he by...

rosielee · rosielee

before i de my request i want to fill you in ,y mum has been sober for 15 years but was drunk for 15 yrs before that- when she was drunk, shed go off on abusive ravings and ramblings for hours- it would start from the time she picked us up frm school to the time she crashed out late- we were withdrawn kids and sc...

intothewoods · intothewoods

I feel the need to tell my story, and I'm a writer so this is the easiest way for me to tell it. I'm not so much looking for advice as I am just needing to get this out. Maybe it's my way of telling my HP. If reading this gives you any insight you'd like to share, please do. And thanks in advance if you read the whol...

belle1 · belle1

My Friend Laura(35) Passed Away This Morning Fom Alchol And Pain Killers Abuse Leaving 2 Small Boys With CP 10&6 Yrs Old And Her Long Term Partner Her Organs Failed And Took Swelling On The Brain Which Gave Her Brain Damage Her Family Were Advised To Switch Off Her Life Support. Death leaves a hear...

layneee · layneee

hello.... i've shared serveral times on this site and recieved great words of widom and encouragment and I am more grateful than you could ever know.. this message is to say that my Abf passed away early sunday morning after a struggle with alcohol. He was 31 years old and the absolute love of my life. Ev...

John · John

Hello Fellow members! The outpouring of cards being sent to the MIP recovery homes, for the residents in them is absolutely amazing! The guys are so touched by what you have done. Every time I walk into one of the homes, someone pulls me aside to share one of the cards they have recieved. These are not...

Rora · Rora

I feel like Alanon is a good tool in recognizing some enabling behaviours and helping us to deal better in our relationships with an A, no matter if that relationship is a child, friend, parent, sibling, spouse, what have you. In my particular case, my A is a spouse, from whom I am separated. At this poi...

maresie · maresie

I know one reason I stayed with the ex A was that all his chaos, confusion, demands meant I could not focus on myself at all. In fact I really feel he felt that if I had a moment to myself it was somehow stolen from him. He complained when I was grieving about my mother's sudden death that I was not paying att...

Jen · Jen

I had a minor blowup with my mother this morning. She called to ask me about my A brothers check that our dad always sends for Christmas. I did not realise she was also going to invite me to a resentment. She is codependent, of course, and is very good at sending me these covert invitations to resentments....

shellyj123 · shellyj123

The last thing I wanted to do Friday night was go to my F2F meeting. I haven't been feeling the best physically, mentally or spiritually and the depression is soooo huge and overwelming right now, and didn't really want to rain on anyone else's holidays and good times. As I layed there in bed half asle...

john boy · john boy

T o start off I would like to wish everybody an early Merry Christmas , and a Happy New Year , I am going to pray for forgiveness to my hp ( god ) ! And pray for forgiveness for my X wife and her family and wish them a merry christmas and a happy new year also ! Mabe I'll luck out and my X wife will send me a christmas...

Tattyhead · Tattyhead

I'm sorry - just need a bit of a (subdued) vent I now feel my AH is at the point of no return. He spends most of the time in bed, doesn't eat and only moves to drag himself to local shop for more fags and brandy. His only hope, I feel, would be a long spell in residential treatment which neither I nor the (UK) Na...

dori711 · dori711

Surprisingly my husband cut down on his drinking to weekends only. I was already thinking he doesn't have a drinking problem, but today his behavior was very agitated like it hurt his brain to cope even though he wasn't drinking. I spent all evening looking for some papers for him, and you would thi...

fishinmama · fishinmama

As to how I did yesterday...It was a busy day reminding myself to stick to the now. I see how my mind is keeping me stuck in the past. The amount of time I am spending there in sad thoughts or fantasy is amazing. As with anything that is worth while I need to stick to it. I sure see alot of alanon basics in t...

Hoot Nanny · Hoot Nanny

I just want to mention that my last post was supposed to be funny! I was very excited when I wrote it earlier this week. I had a good experience at the dentist really. I am so happy to report any positive things & hope I will get feedback. This week has been better than most. Maybe it is because Christm...

Hoot Nanny · Hoot Nanny

I am so happy to finally have gotten my gold crown last WEDS. I was waiting to get in for a few weeks but couldn't get in. You are saying what does that have to do with Alanon? Here goes: I sat in the dentist's chair for several minutes before he could finally get the crown in. It was rocking & even the d...

fishinmama · fishinmama

I started to read a new book. It talks of staying in the now. That our thinking draws from the past and future. I almost put it down when I started as it difficult for me and a different concept. I read at night to close down my brain. This was making me think, but I thought what the heck. It talks about o...

Mom09 · Mom09

This is my first time to post. I'm really lost right now. I have 2 sons that I love very much. D is 21 and b is 20. D went to rehab for 26 days for oxycoti and b does not admit to having a problem. When away to college came home and the last 6 months has been hell. I put both out of the house last night. Both h...

Gailey · Gailey

I don't know how many people have ever picked up the Big Book of AA but I bought one many years ago when I belonged to OA. Chapter 5...How it Works...was read at the beginning of every meeting. I will never forget those words as they mean so much more to me today then they ever did at that time. If you get a chan...

Priscilla83 · Priscilla83

It finally happened. My husband lost his so-called control over alcohol and didn't come home last night. I called his friend and he said that my husband stayed with them last night and was heading over to the house this morning. What a bunch os BS. If he so innocently stayed there, why didn't he called an...

Ash · Ash

So I am learning how to feel again after creating the habit of denying them for a REALLY long time. My sponsor and therapist say that I am grieving many things right now. Biggest one being the "dream" of the way I thought things were and should (haha) be. Acceptance that hurt hurt's kind of s...

cmh2009 · cmh2009

My husband and I have been separated for just over a month. Due to his alcohol use he came home from a bad day and work and took it out on our teenager and made threats to myself, this is not a normal occurance - the violence but the drinking is the norm. The police were called and he was removed and charged...

suzydawn · suzydawn

I think it has probably been about three years since I last posted. The roller coaster ride I have been on just seems unbelievable to me. I work in adult psychiatric health & work with my share of addictions. I never experienced addictions in my personal life before meeting my now husband. And...

Ash · Ash

Hitting a bit of fear and panic here guys and gals. And I just got out of a meeting to. The reality of this disease is painful and scary to me. I thought the dui in June that my AH got with our son in the car would have snapped him into recovery (I met him in the program when he supposedly had 12 years - that was 7...

pixie711 · pixie711

Hi. My boyfriend of 1 year (2 years of being friends with him) relapsed after 6 years of sobriety a few months ago. Almost two months ago he called things off saying he couldn't handle a relationship considering his state (he's also suffering from depression and anxiety). We were still "talking...

Topic		Started By	Replies	Views	Last Post
	My Christmas gift (Preview) My Christmas gift has been finding this forum yesterday. I am sure I'll be here often reading the posts and expressing my own questions and doubts (and maybe some triumphs). But for the first time in many months I feel hopeful and that indeed is a gift. Thank you so much.	pineapple	5	786	Dec 25, 2009 by Carol_Lynn
	Merry Christmas (Preview) MERRY CHRISTMAS TO ALL! Thank you to all the MIP family here that makes my sometimes unbearable life better! Have a safe holiday. Holly	Holly09	3	529	Dec 25, 2009 by Carol_Lynn
	Merry Christmas And Peace To All (Preview) From Our House To Yours A Very Peaceful Christmas To Everyone	belle1	3	613	Dec 25, 2009 by Carol_Lynn
	Holiday, Family and Forgiveness (Preview) When I remember that each person is doing the "best" they can, I am able to forgive them and stay light and usually happy/fun. I also believe that if I'm worth being forgiven, so is everyone else I come into contact with, including toxic family members. If I'm finding behaviors hard to deal...	CJ	4	1044	Dec 25, 2009 by Carol_Lynn
	Many thanks to my MIP family for the ESH (Preview) I just wanted to Thank those who took the time to read and respond to my post. As you can tell my life has been anything but "level" as of late and it seems that as soon as I try to pull myself up, something else is thrown back at me, but again I try to get up. Today started out with ripping loose some...	shellyj123	2	687	Dec 25, 2009 by shellyj123
	A call from the county jail - I am grateful for my alanon reaction (Preview) Good morning family, Just got a call from the county jail, seems my daughter got in a wreck last night. I didn't get all the details as only the first minute was free. Then I was prompted to enter my debit card to buy more talking time. Could it be....Some Alanon prompting???? I thought why should I pay...	fishinmama	6	1144	Dec 24, 2009 by White Rabbit
	A gift from my HP (Preview) My cell phone died on Sunday, after my visit with XAH. I didn't think to charge it up on Monday morning. I plugged it in Monday afternoon at work and forgot it there until this morning. This is what came up on the screen once I turned it back on: 5 text messages from XAH. Monday, 9:04 p.m. If you're awake, I re...	Nodaybut2day	2	695	Dec 24, 2009 by White Rabbit
	don't know what to do (Preview) hello, I am new here and don't know where to start. I have finally realized that the man I live with is an alcoholic. At first I thought he just had a ¨problem¨ that he would sometimes drink too much. That would be like every 3 or 4 months. But it´s been getting worse and the past few months he goes on binges fo...	pineapple	9	1007	Dec 24, 2009 by White Rabbit
	Today's Birthday Boy ~ David62 (Preview) Happy Birthday David !!! You are finally as old as I am It's a gift to me (ha ha) to have been part of your recovery. Hope your day is a great one, Maria	Maria123	10	920	Dec 24, 2009 by david62
	Worrying about Christmas (Preview) Just wondering how to get rid of this feeling in the pit of my stomach that Christmas will all fall apart this year. My daughter and her fiance and my sister-in-law are all coming for Christmas lunch so should be jolly - but what if AH doesn't behave - what if he decides to be ill - needs to go to hospital or ma...	Tattyhead	4	801	Dec 23, 2009 by Adelaide
	Should I stay or should I go? Please share your ESH on why you LEFT and what was the outcome for you? (Preview) Hi. MIP family. This is the flip side of my previous post. I would love to hear more from people who left and what the outcome was. Hugs Rocky	Rocky38	9	718	Dec 23, 2009 by Not2bforgot10
	NEVER SAY NEVER (Preview) For the past couple of years I could depend on my son not drinking on the weekends while his daughters were visiting. I even said recently that he never drinks when they are coming up. Well, Friday he was drunk when I brought them to my house. I made him leave and go somewhere for the night. My husband took h...	Gailey	4	829	Dec 23, 2009 by Carol_Lynn
	My Christmas Survival list (Preview) Christmas can be a hard time of year for some because of bad memories, current alcoholic situations, financial hardships, struggles with the commercialism of the holiday or just an overabundance of "too much yuletide joy". I have put together a "Christmas Survival List" f...	Overcome	5	1344	Dec 23, 2009 by Carol_Lynn
	Support Badly Needed (Preview) Not even a week has passed since my post in Hollie's "Why do they stay?" thread about how I loved my ABF.... and I'm dumping him. I guess what I'm looking for is confirmation that I've done the right thing, and how to feel better about it. The backstory: I'm a child of two alcoholic parents. My...	ythannah	10	885	Dec 23, 2009 by ythannah
	I WILL NOT PLAY "VICTIM" (Preview) I HAD ANOTHER HORRIBLE EXPERIENCE ON SAT. REMEMBER I SAID THAT THE WEEK WOULDN'T BE RIGHT WITHOUT A FEW BAD DAYS? WELL..I AM KICKING MYSELF FOR SAYING THAT NOW! WITHOUT TOO MANY DETAILS; SOME PEOPLE IN MY TOWN THINK I AM A THIEF AND THEY BELIEVE THAT THEY HAVE REASON TO BELIEVE THIS. I KNOW WHAT I DID &...	Hoot Nanny	3	1594	Dec 23, 2009 by Jerry F
	Living life on lifes terms (Preview) Today my TV blew out and I now have to go get another one even though my funds are low. Normally pre al anon this would be a huge crisis and I would feel like a victim. Today I see it as a task I have to do and one I can be quite good at. Obviously due to my limited funds I won't be getting a 40 inch screen but I will b...	maresie	3	1215	Dec 23, 2009 by Jerry F
	An update........... (Preview) Hi MIP family! Have missed you all tremendously! Sitting up is not the most comfortable right now so I will keep this brief and touch back later. The surgery experience from start to finish was a nightmare-which included waking up on the OR table, being dressed in someone else's underclothing, and c...	shellyj123	4	756	Dec 23, 2009 by Jerry F
	Feel like this is home...(here) (Preview) Haven't posted in so long. My AH has been for the most part in controlled drinking stage...the last year he has slipped more and more. I made the decision to move out of our home. When I told him in the begining of Nov. that I would be moving out come Feb or March ...he told me to GET OUT by the 1st of the year...	marmare	2	776	Dec 23, 2009 by Jerry F
	Still Amazed - 20 years later... (Preview) Still Amazed and Excited! 20 years laterReply Quote More Edit PostDelete PostBan IPReport Spam To celebrate an alcoholic that doesn't drink is like applauding a cowboy with hemroids for not riding his horse. When the darn things hurt enough and he has tried every way possible to ride without...	John	10	962	Dec 23, 2009 by drucilla06
	My Story (Preview) I have had several people request that I post my story so here goes: I myself did not grow up with alcoholic parents, but did have a very dysfunctional family in the way that we communicated with each other. There was much triangulation between my mom, my dad and me. My dad (probably a sober alcoholic) di...	Overcome	3	893	Dec 23, 2009 by hotrod
	Taking the 1st Step (Preview) This is my first time reaching out for help. After reading some of the posts I have to admit I am a litle intimidated. It's weird because on one hand I would have liked to think that I would never be in this position, but on the other hand I think I always knew I would. I am married to an unadmitted A and it is rea...	Augustine	3	1309	Dec 22, 2009 by abbyal
	Need an op to chair tonight 9pm meeting (Preview) I am having xmas eve tonight with my kids. As they will be with my ex this year for xmas. I will not be home in time to chair. if an op can please fill in.. thank you Kerry	kerry5	0	401	Dec 22, 2009 by kerry5
	Did what I had to...why does it hurt so much (Preview) My 40 yo A/DA son entered himself into detox and then rehab. I was quite proud of him for taking those steps and still am. He had been living with us for around 9 months with stipulations that we would support him in what he must do. Those stipulations were... Stay clean and sober Go to meetings regular...	Mobirdie	7	1500	Dec 22, 2009 by Mobirdie
	update on friend (Preview) Lauras family have been told it could take weeks before they can release her body. Her hubby (sober A) hasnt yet found a way to tell the boys, reason being he admits to being a coward(his own words) and her death being on the 16th and oldest sons 11th birthday on the 20th and next is christmas ..bless him, g...	belle1	3	394	Dec 22, 2009 by shadow1
	Shellyj123 Update.... (Preview) Surgery went well as well as it could, She is home however, She is still in Alot of pain, So any and All that could spare some more Prayers Please keep them coming... She is down & out and needs a MIP Uplift if you all could help out :o) If you could spare a message of love... Anything to help her get out o...	Jozie	8	925	Dec 22, 2009 by Priscilla83
	Finally the end (Preview) Went and saw AH at the prison sunday. When the visit was over, I got this rush of emotion. Started to cry as he hugged me goodbye. He said everything will be ok. He probably thought I was crying for him. I was crying because we will never be ok again, there is no we at all. That night I had dreams of someone tel...	Debilyn	17	980	Dec 21, 2009 by artygirl
	Step 10 - AHA moment! (Preview) I was in an open AA meeting this morning - it's a step 10, 11, and 12 meeting, and it's my favorite one all week. :) This morning we were talking about Step 10. "Continued to take personal inventory and when we were wrong, promptly admitted it." This has been on my mind a lot the last few days,...	White Rabbit	1	826	Dec 21, 2009 by artie
	New here (Preview) Hello, I am new here. My husband of 16 years is an alcoholic. I am at my wits end in trying to help him. I don't know what to do, but I know I will not leave. The drinking is progressively getting worse. He blames all of our problems on everyone but himself. The frustrating part is that I am graduate schoo...	3dogs	5	797	Dec 21, 2009 by abbyal
	Surgery tomorrow at 7:30am-please send up some prayers MIP family! (Preview) Just got the call to tell me that surgery is tomorrow at 730am.....I am the first of the day-YEAH! Funny last night I started praying, asking my HP to please get me in there as early as I could, and I'd love to be first......that way it's not so long that I have to go without a drink (which is the HARDEST thin...	shellyj123	10	802	Dec 21, 2009 by Andrea12
	Update on me (Preview) The last couple of weeks have been a time of a lot of transformation for me. Well, basically since my ex boyfriend and I split up. I have had a lot of chaos at home related to the oldest and middle children and have been dealing with a lot of stress related to that. Also, going to school every other weeken...	carolinagirl	3	624	Dec 21, 2009 by carolinagirl
	I'm getting out and want the world to know (Preview) I had posted in the past that due to some medical problems I can not drive right now. I live in a rural area and that makes it tough. Today though I get to get out. I am going to lunch with family and then hopefully stop by a good friends house. I am so excited since Thanksgiving the only place I have been is...	fishinmama	6	878	Dec 20, 2009 by maire rua
	love you,best friend, get away talk (Preview) I have been reading a few post there was a comment about treating others better than yourself. This really hit home I'm guilty, I don't drink or drug I just don't have any desire. My wife on the otherhand who has been clean and sober for almost five years lives everyday to stay that way. When she first cam...	noclue	3	955	Dec 20, 2009 by Jerry F
	Need prayers for daughter to deal with losing part of support system for A dad. (Preview) My daughter is sobbing, grieving terribly for her cat. This cat was 20 years old and has been her comfort during the A's binges and rages. This cat has dried her tears with his fur, "kissed" (licked) her tears away and stood still while she sobbed into his fur, burying her face, hiding from...	MaryPoppins	10	946	Dec 20, 2009 by MaryPoppins
	An old lesson revisited (Preview) Aloha MIPers/Al-Anon Family Groupers...The consequence of practice is new found or in this case old found knowledge and awareness which is so supportive to ones recovery from the disease and its effects. I remember in early program reading from inside the ODAAT daily reader the wisdom of Dr. Har...	Jerry F	1	768	Dec 20, 2009 by fishinmama
	Newbie needing advice (Preview) Hi, I am new here and looking for advise. I have been married 20 years, the problem began 6 years ago. My AH has had help and is in AA. A year ago I thought he reached his rock bottom, and has been sober until about 8weeks ago, when he fell of the wagon for the weekend. I thought when you hit rock bottom you were d...	Ginger	4	932	Dec 20, 2009 by Tattyhead
	newbie (Preview) Hi everyone im new to this forum have read it a few times thought id post i left my husband finally after 8 years of crap finding it very very difficult not to think about him wonder if hes drinking etc god only knows why but im angry i guess that ive left and hes still drinking what does it take him to stop he by...	scotslass	8	1225	Dec 20, 2009 by kitty
	an introduction and request for support (Preview) before i de my request i want to fill you in ,y mum has been sober for 15 years but was drunk for 15 yrs before that- when she was drunk, shed go off on abusive ravings and ramblings for hours- it would start from the time she picked us up frm school to the time she crashed out late- we were withdrawn kids and sc...	rosielee	4	752	Dec 20, 2009 by Overcome
	My Story WARNING: LONG POST! LOL (Preview) I feel the need to tell my story, and I'm a writer so this is the easiest way for me to tell it. I'm not so much looking for advice as I am just needing to get this out. Maybe it's my way of telling my HP. If reading this gives you any insight you'd like to share, please do. And thanks in advance if you read the whol...	intothewoods	9	923	Dec 19, 2009 by Debilyn
	RIP Friend (Preview) My Friend Laura(35) Passed Away This Morning Fom Alchol And Pain Killers Abuse Leaving 2 Small Boys With CP 10&6 Yrs Old And Her Long Term Partner Her Organs Failed And Took Swelling On The Brain Which Gave Her Brain Damage Her Family Were Advised To Switch Off Her Life Support. *Death leaves a hear...*	belle1	12	887	Dec 19, 2009 by wp
	finally able to RIP..... (Preview) hello.... i've shared serveral times on this site and recieved great words of widom and encouragment and I am more grateful than you could ever know.. this message is to say that my Abf passed away early sunday morning after a struggle with alcohol. He was 31 years old and the absolute love of my life. Ev...	layneee	14	796	Dec 19, 2009 by Tattyhead
	Holiday Amazement - MIP Residents (Preview) Hello Fellow members! The outpouring of cards being sent to the MIP recovery homes, for the residents in them is absolutely amazing! The guys are so touched by what you have done. Every time I walk into one of the homes, someone pulls me aside to share one of the cards they have recieved. These are not...	John	1	801	Dec 19, 2009 by Jen
	Do you ever think Alanon is just a way to cope with an unhappy marriage? (Preview) I feel like Alanon is a good tool in recognizing some enabling behaviours and helping us to deal better in our relationships with an A, no matter if that relationship is a child, friend, parent, sibling, spouse, what have you. In my particular case, my A is a spouse, from whom I am separated. At this poi...	Rora	12	1047	Dec 19, 2009 by Dyinginside
	Reality (Preview) I know one reason I stayed with the ex A was that all his chaos, confusion, demands meant I could not focus on myself at all. In fact I really feel he felt that if I had a moment to myself it was somehow stolen from him. He complained when I was grieving about my mother's sudden death that I was not paying att...	maresie	3	848	Dec 19, 2009 by Andrea12
	Who is it safe to be ME around? (Preview) I had a minor blowup with my mother this morning. She called to ask me about my A brothers check that our dad always sends for Christmas. I did not realise she was also going to invite me to a resentment. She is codependent, of course, and is very good at sending me these covert invitations to resentments....	Jen	4	1231	Dec 19, 2009 by blender_girl
	Challenges are my HP's way to help me grow spiritually.... (Preview) The last thing I wanted to do Friday night was go to my F2F meeting. I haven't been feeling the best physically, mentally or spiritually and the depression is soooo huge and overwelming right now, and didn't really want to rain on anyone else's holidays and good times. As I layed there in bed half asle...	shellyj123	3	1358	Dec 19, 2009 by kitty
	Christmas , and forgiveness (Preview) T o start off I would like to wish everybody an early Merry Christmas , and a Happy New Year , I am going to pray for forgiveness to my hp ( god ) ! And pray for forgiveness for my X wife and her family and wish them a merry christmas and a happy new year also ! Mabe I'll luck out and my X wife will send me a christmas...	john boy	5	973	Dec 18, 2009 by MrsGratitude
	Depressed (Preview) I'm sorry - just need a bit of a (subdued) vent I now feel my AH is at the point of no return. He spends most of the time in bed, doesn't eat and only moves to drag himself to local shop for more fags and brandy. His only hope, I feel, would be a long spell in residential treatment which neither I nor the (UK) Na...	Tattyhead	6	750	Dec 18, 2009 by MrsGratitude
	Cut down on drinking. (Preview) Surprisingly my husband cut down on his drinking to weekends only. I was already thinking he doesn't have a drinking problem, but today his behavior was very agitated like it hurt his brain to cope even though he wasn't drinking. I spent all evening looking for some papers for him, and you would thi...	dori711	8	815	Dec 18, 2009 by MrsGratitude
	Staying in the now --part 2 (Preview) As to how I did yesterday...It was a busy day reminding myself to stick to the now. I see how my mind is keeping me stuck in the past. The amount of time I am spending there in sad thoughts or fantasy is amazing. As with anything that is worth while I need to stick to it. I sure see alot of alanon basics in t...	fishinmama	2	415	Dec 18, 2009 by fishinmama
	I hope you got it; it was supposed to be FUNNY! (Preview) I just want to mention that my last post was supposed to be funny! I was very excited when I wrote it earlier this week. I had a good experience at the dentist really. I am so happy to report any positive things & hope I will get feedback. This week has been better than most. Maybe it is because Christm...	Hoot Nanny	1	665	Dec 18, 2009 by Jerry F
	A GOLD CROWN FOR ME! (Preview) I am so happy to finally have gotten my gold crown last WEDS. I was waiting to get in for a few weeks but couldn't get in. You are saying what does that have to do with Alanon? Here goes: I sat in the dentist's chair for several minutes before he could finally get the crown in. It was rocking & even the d...	Hoot Nanny	2	589	Dec 18, 2009 by Debilyn
	Staying in the now (Preview) I started to read a new book. It talks of staying in the now. That our thinking draws from the past and future. I almost put it down when I started as it difficult for me and a different concept. I read at night to close down my brain. This was making me think, but I thought what the heck. It talks about o...	fishinmama	4	682	Dec 18, 2009 by jasobel
	hurting mom (Preview) This is my first time to post. I'm really lost right now. I have 2 sons that I love very much. D is 21 and b is 20. D went to rehab for 26 days for oxycoti and b does not admit to having a problem. When away to college came home and the last 6 months has been hell. I put both out of the house last night. Both h...	Mom09	6	755	Dec 18, 2009 by grantofour
	The Big Book of AA (Preview) I don't know how many people have ever picked up the Big Book of AA but I bought one many years ago when I belonged to OA. Chapter 5...How it Works...was read at the beginning of every meeting. I will never forget those words as they mean so much more to me today then they ever did at that time. If you get a chan...	Gailey	4	987	Dec 18, 2009 by Sincerely
	Slipping Big Time (Preview) It finally happened. My husband lost his so-called control over alcohol and didn't come home last night. I called his friend and he said that my husband stayed with them last night and was heading over to the house this morning. What a bunch os BS. If he so innocently stayed there, why didn't he called an...	Priscilla83	3	510	Dec 17, 2009 by blender_girl
	Feelings... (Preview) So I am learning how to feel again after creating the habit of denying them for a REALLY long time. My sponsor and therapist say that I am grieving many things right now. Biggest one being the "dream" of the way I thought things were and should (haha) be. Acceptance that hurt hurt's kind of s...	Ash	3	640	Dec 17, 2009 by maresie
	Do I ask my husband what part in kids lives (Preview) My husband and I have been separated for just over a month. Due to his alcohol use he came home from a bad day and work and took it out on our teenager and made threats to myself, this is not a normal occurance - the violence but the drinking is the norm. The police were called and he was removed and charged...	cmh2009	7	969	Dec 17, 2009 by cmh2009
	Can anyone here help me make prediction (Preview) I think it has probably been about three years since I last posted. The roller coaster ride I have been on just seems unbelievable to me. I work in adult psychiatric health & work with my share of addictions. I never experienced addictions in my personal life before meeting my now husband. And...	suzydawn	8	892	Dec 17, 2009 by suzydawn
	Staying connected and out of denial... (Preview) Hitting a bit of fear and panic here guys and gals. And I just got out of a meeting to. The reality of this disease is painful and scary to me. I thought the dui in June that my AH got with our son in the car would have snapped him into recovery (I met him in the program when he supposedly had 12 years - that was 7...	Ash	3	977	Dec 17, 2009 by Jerry F
	Brand new to all of this (Preview) Hi. My boyfriend of 1 year (2 years of being friends with him) relapsed after 6 years of sobriety a few months ago. Almost two months ago he called things off saying he couldn't handle a relationship considering his state (he's also suffering from depression and anxiety). We were still "talking...	pixie711	4	679	Dec 16, 2009 by Debilyn
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The material presented here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method to exchange information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal level.