The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
Today my TV blew out and I now have to go get another one even though my funds are low. Normally pre al anon this would be a huge crisis and I would feel like a victim.
Today I see it as a task I have to do and one I can be quite good at. Obviously due to my limited funds I won't be getting a 40 inch screen but I will be able to get something that meets my needs.
Yesterday I went to the doctor to start some of the routine screening I need to keep my health up. For decades I did not take care of my health. I had asthma for a full 10 years before I took care of it and then it wasn't properly managed. In the last year I have brought that under control and I have many other issues to go. One day at a time I move through them.
Yesterday I listened to a tape, obviously I have to do something if I have no TV, that suggested I love the mediocrity of life. So today I am working on acceptance, I will love the tasks ahead of me instead of resenting, complaining, lambasting that I am where I am. I've certainly been in a far worse space and I've been in better spaces too. Nevertheless Today is all I have and I'm going to love what is in front of me.
I'd love to spend a few hours on this board reading, learning and absorbing but I have to move through the To Do list. Today I'll do that with care, love and attention rather than distracted resentment.
One day at a time my life is improving and I am gaining confidence, self love and focus I never had before. Al anon is the family, care, attention I didn't get as a child. I appreciate all this program has brought me and even the reason I came here in the first place which was a place of great pain, despair and tremendous sorrow.
I relate to your post completely. Today I struggled with making a doctor appointment, actually yesterday and today. Pre-alanon this would have sent me through the roof.
When I started down that path today I thought why do it to yourself? You will alienate them and only cause drama in your life and theirs. I stayed calm and the woman took the extra step to get me fixed up.
I got off the phone with her wishing me merry christmas and me wishing her back the same with a smile on my face. I looked in the mirror and said to myself "How much easier was that?????
When in this situation I see how my mind goes into manipulation mode. I never saw that before. I am grateful today for the insight and the knowledge that I have a choice on how I react. I always had a choice just didn't take the time to make it.
As far as the TV goes, my TV went out a while back and living by myself and no drivers license, sometimes that TV is my door to the outside world. Just wanted to tell you that I got a small tv at wallmart for a reasonable price. Less than $250.00 which is a large amount of money for me but it is a flat screen and I love it. You might want to check them out. LOL I was never much of a wallmart girl, but I do think it was a good deal.
I love your posts on the board. Congrats on your progress. Your doing it girl.
How I used to hate this philosophy until....I learned how to do it with a HP and the program and my sponsor and the literature and all of the other loving members. Now it doesn't even make me itch...LOL (((((hugs)))))
