The material presented
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This is my first time to post. I'm really lost right now. I have 2 sons that I love very much. D is 21 and b is 20. D went to rehab for 26 days for oxycoti and b does not admit to having a problem. When away to college came home and the last 6 months has been hell. I put both out of the house last night. Both have been stealing again and tell me I have caused them to use again. I need support and advice mom09
I am so sorry you are experiencing this pain in your life. This is a powerful disease you are dealing with. It is cunning and baffling. Alanon offers tools to enable you to live your life with serenity and courage even if the addict continues to use.
Visit the online meetings here and the chat room.
Look in the white pages of the telephone directory and look for alanon or naranon meetings in your area. Attend face to face meetings
Pick up the literature and read daily.
Focus on yourself, Live one day at a time, Remember you are powerless over this disease. Pray and keep coming back here' You are not alone
Aloha Mom...what worked for me (my eldest son was both alcoholic and addict) was taking seriously the suggestion of staying in Al-Anon. I was into the program because I also married alcoholic and addicted women (superman) and it worked then and has worked continuously. It is the suggestion you will see most constantly as a solution to where you are at right now and what your are going thru. You can read future post and you will see what works mentioned over and over. Call the hotline number from the white pages of your local telephone book and find the meeting places and times available to you or contact afgwso.org and click on their search for a meeting from there. The link is also on the face page for this site...so you're very close to a solution. Good job on separating yourself from the addicts and Good luck on the search. Keep coming back here for support cause it can save your spirit and mind. (((((Hugs)))))
Hello MOM , You are not the reason they use , your simply not powerful enough to make anyone use drugs or to make them stop . Blame is what A's do best don't buy into that crap. You will be okay stay strong and please find Naranon or al anon meetings for yourself u need support from people who have been where your at and will share with you what worked for them to get thru this . Get the focus back on your self and get your life back . good luck Louise
My son has been on this distructive road of drugs for ten years now, I know how you are hurting.
You did the right thing by drawing the line about them being in the house using and stealing from you. They will use you up to get what they want, the pain of loving your children that are using drugs is bearing the unbearable. You are not the reason they use, my son did the same guilt trip on me and it worked really well until, I found the strength to detatch enough from him to look at him to see that the drugs was speaking for him now.
You need a good councilor that understands this terrible place you are in, and Al-Anon meetings if you can get to one in your area.
Please come back here and talk, these people have been very supportive of me when I needed to talk about my son.
It is a lonely place to be, but people here understand.
Thanks for the responses. I know that both of the boys are good boys deep down and it's hard to let them go and go down this path and not try to help. But I know after the last 4 months I can't help them they have to help them selves. But that does not help to lessen the pain of the love you have for your children and wondering from day to day are the alive or in jail or laying on the road somewhere. I know I have to let go, it's just so hard to see these two smart kids not caring about themselves or the quality of live 10 years down the road. Wanda
I'm in the same position. I have an almost 32 year old divorced son living back home after a divorce. We have been thru so much with him that I'm at the point of being totally tired of it all. He has been here for 3 years and most of that time has been hell. I didn't realize that his drinking was so bad when he was married. But he is good at hiding the bottles but not his personality change with the drinking. I also have my daughter and two toddler grandsons here. I have to get him out or something because they see what is going on.
