Al-Anon Family Group - Al-Anon Family Group

glad · glad

I can't seem to get heart around how to (from my deepest truest self) forgive someone who deflects and dismisses attempts to resolve an issue with him. I've been trying to "let go and let God" .... Uhhhh,, not happening after 5 years.. so is acceptance and "blind" forgiv...

Maize · Maize

I don't know what happened, my bf came back from rehab this past weekend and was doing well all week, going to AA every day and even went two times one day. He is living with his parents, who started Alanon but are not really working the program at all. They were supposed to give him his check book back an...

applecake · applecake

I told my husband that I had a meeting to go to. I'd decided that if he asked me what meeting it was, I would tell him. I'm pretty involved in some social things/organizations, and "going to a meeting" is pretty common for me. So he didn't ask before I left. I'm glad, because it was really ha...

DareToDream · DareToDream

My AH boyfriend left with one suitcase 3 weeks ago. took one week before he called and then called everyday but I did not answer. Finally, last week, I decided I needed to talk to him to see what was going on. He said he left because he felt like a burden after the disagreement we had. he was staying between a...

liljeannie · liljeannie

Hello again, It's been way too long since I've posted, though I've read often. For those of you who remember me, things have gotten better here, and for those of you who don't remember me, well, I'm really not any different than you. Two years ago, when I became a member, I was so scared, so unsure, so UN...

Hoot Nanny · Hoot Nanny

Like I said on Monday, now it is Thurs., you can be a blessing to anyone. I feel like just today I made a few peoples' days just by a smile & a positive comment. I think I will start using affirmations as well. I really need a pick-me-up now & then, Today is one of them(just because). For the last year...

Ness · Ness

Dear Friends I apologise in advance for this vent, but I've just had it. As if there wasnt enough crap raining down on my family Im now reeling in shock, my cousin who I love like a brother, (we were brought up together) has been diagnosed today with a lump in his lung. CT scan tomorrow followed by a biopsy....

jitsuka · jitsuka

Had enough with the A partner. Come home and she's been in the sole care of 3 year old daughter (although she does go to day nursery). Parter is so obviously under the influence she's reeling. Oh here we go again, another joyful evening I think. I just can't be bothered and just ignore her. She tries to goa...

Allee · Allee

My husband has had over 20 years sobrierity due to alcohol. However, within the past few years he has become addicted to pain medication. He was prescribed the medication due to two failed back surgeries. The doctor basically gave him carte blanche with the quantity and frequency he would prescr...

never going back · never going back

Well, I attended my eighth, and most likley my last, F2F meeting last night. As I've said before, it is the ONLY meeting held in my area. If I get desperate, there is meeting about an hour away. I attended this one once and it was great. I know if Iget introuble, I canalways go to this meeting and I will feel...

applecake · applecake

Hi. I found this board this morning. I will be going to my first "real" alanon meeting tonight. I just can't take it anymore. The few friends who know about my situation sympathize, but have no idea what to say to me...I feel very alone when it comes to this. A little brief history: DH &am...

membee · membee

I have depression and am also a spouse of an of alcoholic. My DH has been sober 5 months now and I am more depressed, confused, and worried than before even though he has made some very healthy changes in his life. Anyone else have this experience? I find it hard to focus on myself ... Have to admit I do mor...

Gailey · Gailey

This reading hit me like a ton of bricks. I LOVED SOMEONE THAT COULDN'T BE TRUSTED...it made me very sad but it forces me to look at the reality that is my life. My son is sick and I cannot believe most things that he tells me. I cannot trust him ever to do what he says he is going to do I think the emotional part...

miss_carol · miss_carol

I am so tired. The last few days have been a real reminder of the sickness in my AH and myself. I am emotionally hung over. Yuck. I did recognize my part in it right away, well it was a little to late because the ball was rolling. The question was "Are you at the bar?" Silly me, I know better. It bec...

Aloha · Aloha

I've been feeling sort of "blaaaah" lately. I might attribute some of it to normal cyclical changes in hormone levels, but certainly just not feeling totally chipper and enthusiastic towards life in general. When living with my AH there was always HIM. Something wasn't going right it wa...

Jennifer · Jennifer

I do not want to have to do this. I do not want to have to get a restraining order, I do not want to have to deal with the state and get no contact a part of a parole agreement, I do not want to have to deal with my xah's 'ism's anymore. I chose divorce, I chose no further contact ... and if I respect that I can't make...

Bettina · Bettina

Its been two months and a few days since the XAH almost met his maker. The Doctors worked so hard at saving his life , it took two days to stabilize him. A ruptured esophagus and multiple ulcers. Only 10 % survive a ruptured esophagus. Survive he did. After the surgery, I drove him home from the hospital....

fairee · fairee

ive been in recovery for long enough that my son was born when i was 5years sober..the program carried me through many difficulties...got more into alanon after my husband left us and I got together with old bf from past (ran into him at AA dance) after we got hooked up found him to be chronic relapse guy a...

mrphunny · mrphunny

Hello. I'm still new to Al-Anon (just over a month) and I know it may be too soon to be asking such a question, but how do I go about finding a sponsor? At meetings, they don't seem to ask who is willing to be a sponsor, as I've seen in open AA meetings. And I don't know the proper way to approach someone or what t...

rainbojo66 · rainbojo66

Good day my recovering family, since coming here, about 2 weeks ago, I have experienced so much. I am so much less HOPELESS about things. But, I am STUCK. I don't feel ANYTHING. I don't feel sad...or happy. Joy...or pain. Nothing. Nada. I feel passionless about my life. After seeing my sister and her a...

buick23 · buick23

Was getting ready to go to my f2f meeting. Bf asked "Why are you going to those f*****ing meetings anyway?" Thanks to alanon I answered "Because I choose to." Yes, I had other answers in my head that were sarcastic but I didn't go that way. That question was still bothering me at my...

chauri · chauri

Hi all, It's been a while since I posted. last weekend our daughter had an incident. blah blah etc., She is an alcoholic, has medical problems. so we stepped in to helpher. She realizes her problem an is WILLING to get help. I love her and am greatful for that. Now it's up to her and her HP. My problem?/ I al...

snodebb · snodebb

This is my first time posting. I don't know how much longer I can take the ups and downs of this roller coaster I've been on for the last 15 yrs. Just when I think things are looking up and I get comfortable again I get slapped in the face. Somebody respond I know I am not the only one with this problem. I thin...

hopeful1ca · hopeful1ca

I'm new to Al-Anon. My partner started the program a month ago as she grew up in an alcoholic home. The last six months have been very trying and twice she threatened to leave, wanting to end her life. I reached out to her sister who lives across the country and her sister recommended Al-Anon. On a daily b...

Mary Glen Scot · Mary Glen Scot

The Al-Anon program teaches me, I am responsible for: How I feel, and what I need and want, and my happiness. I do this with the help of a Power Greater than myself. I respectfully call PG for short. I've been taught "In order to keep what I have-I have to give it away." So I'd like to share m...

Andrea12 · Andrea12

Hello Friends, Well got that call, and guess what I did....nothing....nothing...nothing. My son got pulled over and arrested for a DUI....It just so happened that his cousin was driving by and they released his car to her and took him to the er to draw bloood, God I am wondering what else he is doing. M...

maresie · maresie

These past weeks I have been working with a people pleaser at my job. I was a inveterate people pleaser most of my life. I had to be in al anon for a few years to get a grip on it. I did have all the books, the knowledge and more but I did not have the tools and self awareness to stop. I had some misconstrued id...

so lost · so lost

i am new here and so lost. I don't know what to say or what can help. It was suggested to me to go to al anon meetings and since there were none in my area I came online to see what it was about. Where do I start? What do I need to know?

looking_for_peace · looking_for_peace

Some may know my story: AH recently off long-term use of clonazepam. He has mostly good days, but bad days are pretty bad with a lot of paranoia, etc. I am trying to make our marriage work, telling myself that things will get better with time (??). Because of his bad experience with being on prescription...

Katy · Katy

I often thought to myself, I wish I knew then what I know now, I might of been able to get better quicker, and so with all my experience dealing with my a husband and my now sadly deseased, a brother, and having alanon big in my life, I realise I have been in denial about our 19 year old son, I think I can unders...

Jozie · Jozie

I was Sitting here today, and really became bothered by something, something that was meant and handed to me out of Kindness "I think", yet when i sit down, and get into it, things within it have just hit a nerve... Like someones sitting on my chest... Now i know that what I do, is only by "...

Karilynn · Karilynn

(((Family))), Just wanted to let you know that I am taking a break from the board for a few weeks. I am trying to resolve some issues regarding my sister. My thinking seems to be all screwed up or at the very least addled. I need to clear my head & refocus so that I can be of better service to you all. D...

ajt62 · ajt62

My daughter, now 27 went through rehab a few years ago. Met a guy who would put up with NOTHING and she was clean and sober for years. Broke up with him late last year, wound up hanging out with people she shouldn't, although stayed clean. Those people got into some major trouble, forcing her to have to...

Diva · Diva

Doc gave me 30 Xanax tablets. I told him I would not take the things, but he gave them to me anyway, explaining that I could try one when I become so very upset about A's drunk binges. Knowing I wouldn't touch them, I nevertheless stuffed them in my purse and went home. Put the container complete with 30...

LIONESS · LIONESS

this last dry period has been the third time in our 25 year marriage, this being the longest time without active alcohol use. But now he's buying NA beer and I know the next step will be "I can handle it now" when he buys the real stuff. BTDT. I told him this last time that he quit that I would no...

Samsgram · Samsgram

I just can`t seem to mind my own business when it comes to my grandaughter. Maybe I need a sponsor but I just haven`t heard anyone I can relate to yet. My daughter tells me she is NOT going to buy my grandaughter any new school clothes telling she doesnt need any. I said, what?Nothing is going to fit her, you...

canadianguy · canadianguy

I am a big believer in the part of our recovery requiring some gentle reflection and self-awareness (always being careful not to let it turn into self-mutilation, lol).... I stumbled across some notes from a wonderful exercise that I participated in a week-long self awareness course from several...

Hoot Nanny · Hoot Nanny

I am feeling better & things are getting better, too. My faith is stronger & I feel much lighter. I just want to share some positive things today. I feel like God my HP is blessing me daily. I just hope the other shoe doesn't drop! Now that is a bit negative, I guess. I am feeling less apprehensive...

perfectlyimperfect · perfectlyimperfect

I've been involved in AlAnon off and on several times, the last time remaining true and realizing I can't be cured-Im a LIFER, and I'm ok with that. I've been reading the posts for several days and am so glad to see all of the ESH here. I'm actually at a good place right now in my recovery, beginning the Twel...

JimmyX · JimmyX

I recently (June 9 2010) wrote about the misery I have encountered for the past few months concerning my alcoholic and dry drunk girlfriend who I have known (or rather not known) for the past four years. She relapsed again some six weeks ago and again I took her back. I tried to make another go of this mad r...

Junko · Junko

First of all, let me update - after having read wonderful responses to my post, I have no doubt that I am in the right place with Alanon so thank you! Secondly, expectation. I am having a problem with it at the moment and would like to hear any experience on it.. Ever since my AH started going to AA and stoppe...

Typ0 · Typ0

I have just realized I have been an alcoholic for 25 years. I have had monumental realizations in just the past few weeks about this about my thinking and behavior due to my alocholism. I'm going to get counseling and work through the 12 step program. I'm wondering if there is anyone out there who has...

JPMyra · JPMyra

Is the book 'Courage to Change" Online? If not, is there a place where you can read the daily sayings or a place where you can sign up to receive them. Thank you! Myra is 139 days Sober

Taffy · Taffy

I just found this message board... I have had an alcoholic friend for 5 years. The friendship turned into a relationship (I thought) This week he told me he only saw me when he felt bad about himself, and he knew how much I cared for him... He would come and go, every couple of months, and then contact me aga...

ilovedogs · ilovedogs

I hope and pray that somebody out there can relate to my story. I have yet to attend an Al Anon meeting but I intend to do so soon. I am a 40 years old, married, and mother to the most wonderful 11 yr old boy. We have a wonderful life, drive nice cars, have a nice middle class home, and have a bit of money in the...

White Rabbit · White Rabbit

Well, I survived telling my story for the first time last night in a combined open AA/Alanon meeting! YAY! Actually, I found that I was not even nervous the whole day yesterday about it. I was amazed at how many people came to talk to me after the meeting and thank me for sharing or say that they could re...

Ness · Ness

Dear Friends, I have a dilemma, I've been obsessing over it for a week now and can't seem to resolve it. I would really appreciate your perspective. Long story short, I have discovered I have a half sibling so we have been getting to know each other via email. They have now asked me about alcoholism...

lyndebi · lyndebi

If you have ever done research on kicking this poison, you will be shocked. Soo many stories of the exact same symptoms. One main one being "brain shivers." In my head I will hear a, flap flap flap. Plus my right hand is tingly and numb. I know kicking heroin one of the symptoms is a cold like t...

pax · pax

I was wondering what techniques you are using for bringing down your level of stress during difficult periods. Some things that come to mind are prayer, deep breathing, word puzzles, emailing a friend, and going to bed early with a good book. I wish that things like cleaning out a drawer would help,...

JenLynMo · JenLynMo

I met my partner about 5 years ago. . . He has been using since 13 I've been an enabler for my whole life i suppose, I was taught to be one apparently i'm learning. we broke up, still seeing one another i became pregnant. I then found out he was sleeping with the bosses daughter/ who is also his co worker. . . he...

RLC · RLC

(((To All MIP Members))) My best friends wife just found out today she has stomach cancer. Gerald is one of the reasons I got in the Al-Anon program. He has been sober for almost 4 years. He and his wife are wonderful people. I was told years ago by someone I had tremendous respect for that if you can go thr...

DareToDream · DareToDream

So, it has been 2 weeks since he pcked a suitcase and I still do not know where he is. He has called a few times (the first time was after being gone a week) but I did not answer as I am very angry and hurt and not ready to talk to him. The last message was on Thursday and he said he did not know what to say but he hopes...

Sara Tamar · Sara Tamar

The feeling I am getting reading the messages on this board is that once an alcoholic, always an alcoholic -- that no matter how long an alcoholic has been in recovery, by and by s/he going to slip up and destroy their life and the lives of every one else around them. So, is the answer to stay far away fro...

Melissa21 · Melissa21

Well it didn't go as expected at all. First thing A said to me was where is our son .. LMAO yeah kids don't go to court ... He asked if I got a memo stating that .. I just ignored him. He sat right next to me waiting for lawyer and whatever .. I kept repeating the serenity prayer in my head. We wont be going to court...

angelchar375 · angelchar375

Hi everyone, I've been in the alanon program for almost 2 years now... or is it 3. Well I have a 2 and 3 year old at home and it's hard to keep track of most things. It's nice that in the program I can give myself a break and realize it's not really important to keep track of everything anyways. So, I think it's b...

John · John

Two men had passed away and were standing at the Pearly Gates. St. Peter asked the first man, "What did you do for a living that had value to others?" The man replied, "I have driven a Taxi cab most of my life" St. Peter stood back, then walked away, returning with a Golden shaft and a Golden candle holder an...

AK222 · AK222

I have been married 19 years to an A who has been sober that many years. We have had our ups and downs as I have learned when the person gets sober it is a new set of battles. Lately we have been struggling in our marriage over finances. He blames me for bad management and withholding things. I have adm...

rainbojo66 · rainbojo66

Hello friends, I went to my first meeting last night. Stange experience for me. I spent 10 years in AA knowing I wasn't an alcoholic (staying sober wasn't so hard lol) but I firgured I had had some bad experiences drinking, my family were all lunatics...I MUST BE an alcoholic, so I didnt try anything mor...

M_Hannah · M_Hannah

Shadows creep across an empty spaceBut all I see is your angry faceI try to intercept your penetrating stareI am invisible; youre the only one there. You laugh at my joke and smile without a careLeaning back in your old deck chairIts you and I against it allThe higher we climb, the further well fall. D...

Karilynn · Karilynn

(((Family))), Came across this quote from the Dalai Lama today: "If indeed the qualities such as love, patience, tolerance, and forgiveness are what happiness consists in, and if it is also true that compassion, defined as concern for others, is both the source and the fruit of these qualiti...

Topic		Started By	Replies	Views	Last Post
	Acceptance and Forgiveness (Preview) I can't seem to get heart around how to (from my deepest truest self) forgive someone who deflects and dismisses attempts to resolve an issue with him. I've been trying to "let go and let God" .... Uhhhh,, not happening after 5 years.. so is acceptance and "blind" forgiv...	glad	5	1284	Aug 20, 2010 by Jerry F
	So he slipped and so did I (Preview) I don't know what happened, my bf came back from rehab this past weekend and was doing well all week, going to AA every day and even went two times one day. He is living with his parents, who started Alanon but are not really working the program at all. They were supposed to give him his check book back an...	Maize	6	812	Aug 20, 2010 by Maize
	Went to my first F2F last night...and AH's response (Preview) I told my husband that I had a meeting to go to. I'd decided that if he asked me what meeting it was, I would tell him. I'm pretty involved in some social things/organizations, and "going to a meeting" is pretty common for me. So he didn't ask before I left. I'm glad, because it was really ha...	applecake	8	869	Aug 20, 2010 by Jerry F
	Struggling with concern (Preview) My AH boyfriend left with one suitcase 3 weeks ago. took one week before he called and then called everyday but I did not answer. Finally, last week, I decided I needed to talk to him to see what was going on. He said he left because he felt like a burden after the disagreement we had. he was staying between a...	DareToDream	17	1075	Aug 20, 2010 by DareToDream
	Changes (Preview) Hello again, It's been way too long since I've posted, though I've read often. For those of you who remember me, things have gotten better here, and for those of you who don't remember me, well, I'm really not any different than you. Two years ago, when I became a member, I was so scared, so unsure, so UN...	liljeannie	3	716	Aug 20, 2010 by liljeannie
	I hope the blessings work for all! (Preview) Like I said on Monday, now it is Thurs., you can be a blessing to anyone. I feel like just today I made a few peoples' days just by a smile & a positive comment. I think I will start using affirmations as well. I really need a pick-me-up now & then, Today is one of them(just because). For the last year...	Hoot Nanny	4	585	Aug 20, 2010 by Tattyhead
	ENOUGH (Preview) Dear Friends I apologise in advance for this vent, but I've just had it. As if there wasnt enough crap raining down on my family Im now reeling in shock, my cousin who I love like a brother, (we were brought up together) has been diagnosed today with a lump in his lung. CT scan tomorrow followed by a biopsy....	Ness	9	947	Aug 20, 2010 by xeno59
	Had enough. (Preview) Had enough with the A partner. Come home and she's been in the sole care of 3 year old daughter (although she does go to day nursery). Parter is so obviously under the influence she's reeling. Oh here we go again, another joyful evening I think. I just can't be bothered and just ignore her. She tries to goa...	jitsuka	7	990	Aug 20, 2010 by jitsuka
	Need advice please (Preview) My husband has had over 20 years sobrierity due to alcohol. However, within the past few years he has become addicted to pain medication. He was prescribed the medication due to two failed back surgeries. The doctor basically gave him carte blanche with the quantity and frequency he would prescr...	Allee	9	607	Aug 19, 2010 by Allee
	Bad F2F experience (Preview) Well, I attended my eighth, and most likley my last, F2F meeting last night. As I've said before, it is the ONLY meeting held in my area. If I get desperate, there is meeting about an hour away. I attended this one once and it was great. I know if Iget introuble, I canalways go to this meeting and I will feel...	never going back	16	842	Aug 19, 2010 by never going back
	New here, new to alanon :( 9 years overdue. (Preview) Hi. I found this board this morning. I will be going to my first "real" alanon meeting tonight. I just can't take it anymore. The few friends who know about my situation sympathize, but have no idea what to say to me...I feel very alone when it comes to this. A little brief history: DH &am...	applecake	12	899	Aug 19, 2010 by abbyal
	depression, Alanon, and sobriety - which do i address first? (Preview) I have depression and am also a spouse of an of alcoholic. My DH has been sober 5 months now and I am more depressed, confused, and worried than before even though he has made some very healthy changes in his life. Anyone else have this experience? I find it hard to focus on myself ... Have to admit I do mor...	membee	9	1830	Aug 19, 2010 by Maize
	C2C reading (Preview) This reading hit me like a ton of bricks. I LOVED SOMEONE THAT COULDN'T BE TRUSTED...it made me very sad but it forces me to look at the reality that is my life. My son is sick and I cannot believe most things that he tells me. I cannot trust him ever to do what he says he is going to do I think the emotional part...	Gailey	2	640	Aug 19, 2010 by Ness
	Exhausted, but I am taking a trip (Preview) I am so tired. The last few days have been a real reminder of the sickness in my AH and myself. I am emotionally hung over. Yuck. I did recognize my part in it right away, well it was a little to late because the ball was rolling. The question was "Are you at the bar?" Silly me, I know better. It bec...	miss_carol	2	653	Aug 19, 2010 by DreamXL
	Singularity is a whole 'nother ball of wax. (Preview) I've been feeling sort of "blaaaah" lately. I might attribute some of it to normal cyclical changes in hormone levels, but certainly just not feeling totally chipper and enthusiastic towards life in general. When living with my AH there was always HIM. Something wasn't going right it wa...	Aloha	6	916	Aug 19, 2010 by Rora
	Back in fear (Preview) I do not want to have to do this. I do not want to have to get a restraining order, I do not want to have to deal with the state and get no contact a part of a parole agreement, I do not want to have to deal with my xah's 'ism's anymore. I chose divorce, I chose no further contact ... and if I respect that I can't make...	Jennifer	9	978	Aug 18, 2010 by Jennifer
	This disease is a Devilish Function (Preview) Its been two months and a few days since the XAH almost met his maker. The Doctors worked so hard at saving his life , it took two days to stabilize him. A ruptured esophagus and multiple ulcers. Only 10 % survive a ruptured esophagus. Survive he did. After the surgery, I drove him home from the hospital....	Bettina	9	976	Aug 18, 2010 by Bettina
	using what ive learned in alanon (Preview) ive been in recovery for long enough that my son was born when i was 5years sober..the program carried me through many difficulties...got more into alanon after my husband left us and I got together with old bf from past (ran into him at AA dance) after we got hooked up found him to be chronic relapse guy a...	fairee	4	784	Aug 18, 2010 by Ness
	Finding a Sponsor? (Preview) Hello. I'm still new to Al-Anon (just over a month) and I know it may be too soon to be asking such a question, but how do I go about finding a sponsor? At meetings, they don't seem to ask who is willing to be a sponsor, as I've seen in open AA meetings. And I don't know the proper way to approach someone or what t...	mrphunny	3	614	Aug 18, 2010 by abbyal
	POWER...POWERLESS...stuck! (Preview) Good day my recovering family, since coming here, about 2 weeks ago, I have experienced so much. I am so much less HOPELESS about things. But, I am STUCK. I don't feel ANYTHING. I don't feel sad...or happy. Joy...or pain. Nothing. Nada. I feel passionless about my life. After seeing my sister and her a...	rainbojo66	7	844	Aug 18, 2010 by Sweet Stanley
	my f2f meeting (Preview) Was getting ready to go to my f2f meeting. Bf asked "Why are you going to those f*****ing meetings anyway?" Thanks to alanon I answered "Because I choose to." Yes, I had other answers in my head that were sarcastic but I didn't go that way. That question was still bothering me at my...	buick23	6	1805	Aug 17, 2010 by abbyal
	Betrayal and resentments... (Preview) Hi all, It's been a while since I posted. last weekend our daughter had an incident. blah blah etc., She is an alcoholic, has medical problems. so we stepped in to helpher. She realizes her problem an is WILLING to get help. I love her and am greatful for that. Now it's up to her and her HP. My problem?/ I al...	chauri	4	1158	Aug 17, 2010 by chauri
	At my witts end!!!!! (Preview) This is my first time posting. I don't know how much longer I can take the ups and downs of this roller coaster I've been on for the last 15 yrs. Just when I think things are looking up and I get comfortable again I get slapped in the face. Somebody respond I know I am not the only one with this problem. I thin...	snodebb	11	1143	Aug 17, 2010 by abbyal
	Lost and Speechless (Preview) I'm new to Al-Anon. My partner started the program a month ago as she grew up in an alcoholic home. The last six months have been very trying and twice she threatened to leave, wanting to end her life. I reached out to her sister who lives across the country and her sister recommended Al-Anon. On a daily b...	hopeful1ca	6	880	Aug 17, 2010 by Jerry F
	RESPONSIBILITIES (Preview) The Al-Anon program teaches me, I am responsible for: How I feel, and what I need and want, and my happiness. I do this with the help of a Power Greater than myself. I respectfully call PG for short. I've been taught "In order to keep what I have-I have to give it away." So I'd like to share m...	Mary Glen Scot	1	544	Aug 17, 2010 by Jerry F
	18 yr old son got picked up for a DUI (Preview) Hello Friends, Well got that call, and guess what I did....nothing....nothing...nothing. My son got pulled over and arrested for a DUI....It just so happened that his cousin was driving by and they released his car to her and took him to the er to draw bloood, God I am wondering what else he is doing. M...	Andrea12	22	1313	Aug 17, 2010 by Maize
	Boundaries again. (Preview) These past weeks I have been working with a people pleaser at my job. I was a inveterate people pleaser most of my life. I had to be in al anon for a few years to get a grip on it. I did have all the books, the knowledge and more but I did not have the tools and self awareness to stop. I had some misconstrued id...	maresie	4	1397	Aug 17, 2010 by kitty
	new n lost (Preview) i am new here and so lost. I don't know what to say or what can help. It was suggested to me to go to al anon meetings and since there were none in my area I came online to see what it was about. Where do I start? What do I need to know?	so lost	9	1566	Aug 17, 2010 by Ness
	Need advice on how to handle this... (Preview) Some may know my story: AH recently off long-term use of clonazepam. He has mostly good days, but bad days are pretty bad with a lot of paranoia, etc. I am trying to make our marriage work, telling myself that things will get better with time (??). Because of his bad experience with being on prescription...	looking_for_peace	10	854	Aug 17, 2010 by Jennifer
	And now it's our son! (Preview) I often thought to myself, I wish I knew then what I know now, I might of been able to get better quicker, and so with all my experience dealing with my a husband and my now sadly deseased, a brother, and having alanon big in my life, I realise I have been in denial about our 19 year old son, I think I can unders...	Katy	8	1594	Aug 17, 2010 by Ness
	Fighting "UR" Expectations (Preview) I was Sitting here today, and really became bothered by something, something that was meant and handed to me out of Kindness "I think", yet when i sit down, and get into it, things within it have just hit a nerve... Like someones sitting on my chest... Now i know that what I do, is only by "...	Jozie	2	1323	Aug 17, 2010 by Katy
	Taking a break (Preview) (((Family))), Just wanted to let you know that I am taking a break from the board for a few weeks. I am trying to resolve some issues regarding my sister. My thinking seems to be all screwed up or at the very least addled. I need to clear my head & refocus so that I can be of better service to you all. D...	Karilynn	8	849	Aug 16, 2010 by Andrea12
	ESH Needed, please. (Preview) My daughter, now 27 went through rehab a few years ago. Met a guy who would put up with NOTHING and she was clean and sober for years. Broke up with him late last year, wound up hanging out with people she shouldn't, although stayed clean. Those people got into some major trouble, forcing her to have to...	ajt62	2	778	Aug 16, 2010 by Jerry F
	Don't know how he manages to stay alive! (Preview) Doc gave me 30 Xanax tablets. I told him I would not take the things, but he gave them to me anyway, explaining that I could try one when I become so very upset about A's drunk binges. Knowing I wouldn't touch them, I nevertheless stuffed them in my purse and went home. Put the container complete with 30...	Diva	6	837	Aug 16, 2010 by Rocky38
	He hasn't drank since october 2007 (Preview) this last dry period has been the third time in our 25 year marriage, this being the longest time without active alcohol use. But now he's buying NA beer and I know the next step will be "I can handle it now" when he buys the real stuff. BTDT. I told him this last time that he quit that I would no...	LIONESS	6	1304	Aug 16, 2010 by maresie
	Really Upset With My Own Behavior (Preview) I just can`t seem to mind my own business when it comes to my grandaughter. Maybe I need a sponsor but I just haven`t heard anyone I can relate to yet. My daughter tells me she is NOT going to buy my grandaughter any new school clothes telling she doesnt need any. I said, what?Nothing is going to fit her, you...	Samsgram	7	1231	Aug 16, 2010 by Aloha
	Self awareness exercise.... (Preview) I am a big believer in the part of our recovery requiring some gentle reflection and self-awareness (always being careful not to let it turn into self-mutilation, lol).... I stumbled across some notes from a wonderful exercise that I participated in a week-long self awareness course from several...	canadianguy	5	3025	Aug 16, 2010 by Aloha
	things are getting better (Preview) I am feeling better & things are getting better, too. My faith is stronger & I feel much lighter. I just want to share some positive things today. I feel like God my HP is blessing me daily. I just hope the other shoe doesn't drop! Now that is a bit negative, I guess. I am feeling less apprehensive...	Hoot Nanny	3	805	Aug 16, 2010 by hotrod
	New here but not to program (Preview) I've been involved in AlAnon off and on several times, the last time remaining true and realizing I can't be cured-Im a LIFER, and I'm ok with that. I've been reading the posts for several days and am so glad to see all of the ESH here. I'm actually at a good place right now in my recovery, beginning the Twel...	perfectlyimperfect	3	986	Aug 16, 2010 by hotrod
	I Had to End it . . . . . Didn't I? (Preview) I recently (June 9 2010) wrote about the misery I have encountered for the past few months concerning my alcoholic and dry drunk girlfriend who I have known (or rather not known) for the past four years. She relapsed again some six weeks ago and again I took her back. I tried to make another go of this mad r...	JimmyX	10	1972	Aug 16, 2010 by Rocky38
	Is it too much to expect to be listened? (Preview) First of all, let me update - after having read wonderful responses to my post, I have no doubt that I am in the right place with Alanon so thank you! Secondly, expectation. I am having a problem with it at the moment and would like to hear any experience on it.. Ever since my AH started going to AA and stoppe...	Junko	8	796	Aug 16, 2010 by Junko
	Help from an alcoholic (Preview) I have just realized I have been an alcoholic for 25 years. I have had monumental realizations in just the past few weeks about this about my thinking and behavior due to my alocholism. I'm going to get counseling and work through the 12 step program. I'm wondering if there is anyone out there who has...	Typ0	9	2082	Aug 15, 2010 by Typ0
	Courage to change Book (Preview) Is the book 'Courage to Change" Online? If not, is there a place where you can read the daily sayings or a place where you can sign up to receive them. Thank you! Myra is 139 days Sober	JPMyra	4	5576	Aug 15, 2010 by JPMyra
	Please help me understand (Preview) I just found this message board... I have had an alcoholic friend for 5 years. The friendship turned into a relationship (I thought) This week he told me he only saw me when he felt bad about himself, and he knew how much I cared for him... He would come and go, every couple of months, and then contact me aga...	Taffy	10	826	Aug 15, 2010 by Taffy
	New here. I have a long story! (Preview) I hope and pray that somebody out there can relate to my story. I have yet to attend an Al Anon meeting but I intend to do so soon. I am a 40 years old, married, and mother to the most wonderful 11 yr old boy. We have a wonderful life, drive nice cars, have a nice middle class home, and have a bit of money in the...	ilovedogs	16	1406	Aug 15, 2010 by ilovedogs
	Survived Telling My Story (Preview) Well, I survived telling my story for the first time last night in a combined open AA/Alanon meeting! YAY! Actually, I found that I was not even nervous the whole day yesterday about it. I was amazed at how many people came to talk to me after the meeting and thank me for sharing or say that they could re...	White Rabbit	7	1347	Aug 15, 2010 by rainbojo66
	Dilemma re anonymity of the family disease (Preview) Dear Friends, I have a dilemma, I've been obsessing over it for a week now and can't seem to resolve it. I would really appreciate your perspective. Long story short, I have discovered I have a half sibling so we have been getting to know each other via email. They have now asked me about alcoholism...	Ness	19	871	Aug 15, 2010 by Ness
	Effexor Anon (Preview) If you have ever done research on kicking this poison, you will be shocked. Soo many stories of the exact same symptoms. One main one being "brain shivers." In my head I will hear a, flap flap flap. Plus my right hand is tingly and numb. I know kicking heroin one of the symptoms is a cold like t...	lyndebi	11	1325	Aug 14, 2010 by Jennifer
	how do you reduce stress? (Preview) I was wondering what techniques you are using for bringing down your level of stress during difficult periods. Some things that come to mind are prayer, deep breathing, word puzzles, emailing a friend, and going to bed early with a good book. I wish that things like cleaning out a drawer would help,...	pax	14	1113	Aug 14, 2010 by pax
	I'm new here and to this process, Need of prospective (Preview) I met my partner about 5 years ago. . . He has been using since 13 I've been an enabler for my whole life i suppose, I was taught to be one apparently i'm learning. we broke up, still seeing one another i became pregnant. I then found out he was sleeping with the bosses daughter/ who is also his co worker. . . he...	JenLynMo	8	775	Aug 14, 2010 by Mattie
	Please Keep My Best Friends Wife In Your Prayers (Preview) (((To All MIP Members))) My best friends wife just found out today she has stomach cancer. Gerald is one of the reasons I got in the Al-Anon program. He has been sober for almost 4 years. He and his wife are wonderful people. I was told years ago by someone I had tremendous respect for that if you can go thr...	RLC	20	3782	Aug 14, 2010 by grammie
	Still Gone (Preview) So, it has been 2 weeks since he pcked a suitcase and I still do not know where he is. He has called a few times (the first time was after being gone a week) but I did not answer as I am very angry and hurt and not ready to talk to him. The last message was on Thursday and he said he did not know what to say but he hopes...	DareToDream	18	1033	Aug 14, 2010 by DareToDream
	Is it really foolish to hope? (Preview) The feeling I am getting reading the messages on this board is that once an alcoholic, always an alcoholic -- that no matter how long an alcoholic has been in recovery, by and by s/he going to slip up and destroy their life and the lives of every one else around them. So, is the answer to stay far away fro...	Sara Tamar	11	856	Aug 14, 2010 by maresie
	Court is over (Preview) Well it didn't go as expected at all. First thing A said to me was where is our son .. LMAO yeah kids don't go to court ... He asked if I got a memo stating that .. I just ignored him. He sat right next to me waiting for lawyer and whatever .. I kept repeating the serenity prayer in my head. We wont be going to court...	Melissa21	8	843	Aug 14, 2010 by maresie
	Mom here looking for some ESH (Preview) Hi everyone, I've been in the alanon program for almost 2 years now... or is it 3. Well I have a 2 and 3 year old at home and it's hard to keep track of most things. It's nice that in the program I can give myself a break and realize it's not really important to keep track of everything anyways. So, I think it's b...	angelchar375	5	1170	Aug 14, 2010 by maresie
	God loves alkies... (Preview) Two men had passed away and were standing at the Pearly Gates. St. Peter asked the first man, "What did you do for a living that had value to others?" The man replied, "I have driven a Taxi cab most of my life" St. Peter stood back, then walked away, returning with a Golden shaft and a Golden candle holder an...	John	4	849	Aug 14, 2010 by Karilynn
	20 years sober..still same characteristics (Preview) I have been married 19 years to an A who has been sober that many years. We have had our ups and downs as I have learned when the person gets sober it is a new set of battles. Lately we have been struggling in our marriage over finances. He blames me for bad management and withholding things. I have adm...	AK222	4	1562	Aug 13, 2010 by Jerry F
	My first meeting...and I dont feel like killing anyone :) yippee! (Preview) Hello friends, I went to my first meeting last night. Stange experience for me. I spent 10 years in AA knowing I wasn't an alcoholic (staying sober wasn't so hard lol) but I firgured I had had some bad experiences drinking, my family were all lunatics...I MUST BE an alcoholic, so I didnt try anything mor...	rainbojo66	5	783	Aug 13, 2010 by maresie
	Feeling alone (Preview) Shadows creep across an empty spaceBut all I see is your angry faceI try to intercept your penetrating stareI am invisible; youre the only one there. You laugh at my joke and smile without a careLeaning back in your old deck chairIts you and I against it allThe higher we climb, the further well fall. D...	M_Hannah	9	838	Aug 13, 2010 by Rocky38
	Wow! (Preview) (((Family))), Came across this quote from the Dalai Lama today: "If indeed the qualities such as love, patience, tolerance, and forgiveness are what happiness consists in, and if it is also true that compassion, defined as concern for others, is both the source and the fruit of these qualiti...	Karilynn	3	500	Aug 13, 2010 by Andrea12
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The material presented here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method to exchange information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal level.