Al-Anon Family Group - Al-Anon Family Group

stephaniej · stephaniej

I'd really love to hear how people in the group have handled this issue: I am struggling with trying to control my AH and certain situations. I am struggling with the line between setting boundaries (necessary for my own emotional well being) and trying to control (which just creates more heartache...

mmitche2 · mmitche2

Hi Everyone, I am new here and need support. I have been married 11 years and just recently, in May to June, my husband went away to a rehab. He job intervened and we had a full intervention and he went to rehab. About three weeks later, he was drinking again. I have trouble because I constantly feel convi...

Ness · Ness

Hi all, been away polishing the tools, keeping the focus on me by minding my own business and renewing my strength and courage in the room. I feel better and stronger and have locked the poor mes back in their box! Although I havent been posting I have been with you all every day reading all the posts and i...

Ginger90 · Ginger90

I could really use so help getting unstuck from my self defeating habit of continually procrastinating. I have been coming here and reading everyones posts for a few weeks and it seems to help my mood but I seem to really be lacking in the action department. I seem to still spend alot of time in my head, t...

stephaniej · stephaniej

I was finally able to attend my first in-person meeting yesterday. In some ways it was uncomfortable and overwhelming, surrounded by strangers and not fully knowing how the meeting would be structured or what it would involve. But of course, everyone was open and welcoming. I chose to "pas...

tlcate · tlcate

Mini fourth step and sometimes the results just really stink. Have a lot going on - but in the middle of it I feel a discomfort that doesn't belong - that bad apple making the rest of a difficult situation even worse. So I sit down with pen and paper and start writing. Jeeeez. Denial, it sure is a comfortab...

Suzannah · Suzannah

Stress released Miraculous cure in the melting of the ice, stress, negative...whatever of the moment Invocation of others to SMILE in response Love of self in that moment of appreciation of something positive Emotional tonic and the release of Endorphins in the body. So how can I SMILE when I am goin...

member922 · member922

So I have attended 2 meetings now. The first was very interesting, not so much the content, but the learning of the way it works. The first was about the 10th step or something like that. And the one last night was about the 11th step or practice or whatever they call it. I am just beginning with this and t...

usedtobeanyer · usedtobeanyer

I had such an interesting experience at the face to face Al Anon meeting I attended last night. First, I'm still a beginner so I attended the beginner's meeting, which is a short meeting before the main meeting. Last night was my 4th meeting so I don't really feel like a beginner anymore but I still find...

mjhyankees · mjhyankees

Sometimes I know myself so well. And of course sometimes i'm clueless. The questions I posted and pondered the other night was helpful. I've conclude that I can be happy WHILE I'm striving, searching, hoping and dreaming. That I can still do those things and be happy BEFORE anything comes to fruit...

usedtobeanyer · usedtobeanyer

Hi all, I believe I've raised this issue in the past but I'd like to raise it again as I'm becoming more and more uncomfortable with this concept and it's causing me some conflict in really putting the Al Anon methods into practice. To recap, my wife is attending AA but still actively drinking. Not on a da...

shellyj123 · shellyj123

I've been doing some thinking lately, something I hate to do....mirror time, and I am not always gentle on myself when it comes to that. Still waiting on news of my Uncle, praying and trying to turn it over, but having trouble doing so again....always find myself taking it back. My HP and I "yo yo&...

bud · bud

As many of you may know, I've had some large challenges that are weighing me down. So, I've been praying and praying for my HP to give me the wisdom and strength to manage them; I've also prayed for my HP to take them from me. Well, this morning is a distraction, all right! First I'm locked out of MIP, then...

mjhyankees · mjhyankees

I was walking the dog tonight, a beautiful clear starry night...you could see stars behind stars it was so clear..you know the clusters of stars you don't normally see. Anyway while I intellectually recognized it as beautiful....I couldn't feel much at all! I should have been IMO moved and mildy e...

Samsgram · Samsgram

Well everytime I think I have heard more than I can bare. All I have to do is wait for another day lately. I had my gd 5 days last week and I felt good about that. Knowing she was getting norishment and dressed properly and spent enough time on her reading which she has difficulty with and her mother is suppo...

helpme08 · helpme08

It's been a very long time since I have been on this website. I went to my first face to face meeting this morning, so I have been thinking a lot about this program. I actually told my boss and coworkers that I had a doctor appointment, but went to an Alanon meeting. My story is that my husband is a type 1 di...

stephaniej · stephaniej

Conceptually, I understand how detachment works with respect to my AH. My question is more about how it works when it comes to talking/venting about my problems with loved ones. On the one hand, it helps to be open with people about my struggles. But on the other hand, when I talk about the challenge...

dollmininut · dollmininut

I met my husband over 25 years ago when he was actively drinking (we were not married then). I gave him a choice then it was me or the drugs and alcohol, he chose the latter. I told him to call me when he was clean and sober in 2 years (I waited for him). Well, he did, but he wasn't. We split for good and I went...

usedtobeanyer · usedtobeanyer

Hello, one thing I am struggling with as time passes by is my anger & frustration. I can't help but feel so angry towards my wife when she drinks. I'm trying to learn to hide it and trying to keep it under control. But I'm finding it is becoming harder and harder as time goes by. Even if my wife doesn't dr...

soozin12 · soozin12

I am just starting ALAnon and have the courage to change book, I just feel at a loss on how to even make any changes. I live with my AH and his 3 children (I have no children of my own). I just learned AH quit his job today-he "couldn't handle it" any more. That is all the explanation given and if I ev...

Hopeless · Hopeless

Nothing has really improved with my situation but I realize that I need to give Alanon 100% or order to work on myself..............I lost touch! I'm going to HAVE to start going to face to face it's the only way at this point! My A still is drinking and it's getting worse we are still NOT together but ...

oscarmom · oscarmom

from the alcoholic's perpective I mean Made direct amends to such people wherever possible, except when to do so would injure them or others. maybe its because over many years my husband, like most a's, made a career out of lying. most of it revolved around drinking of course. but what if there were dru...

hfrush · hfrush

Hello everyone! My name is Hilary I am 29 years old and I have a 1 year old son. I am the daughter of an alcoholic. My mother has drank from as far back as I can remember. When I was younger I can remember my mother sleeping all day long while I took care of my younger brother and the house, the only time she wo...

stephaniej · stephaniej

So my AH was home this weekend, and we had a lovely weekend. He had a few beers here and there, and I think I did a good job of not expressing any opinion, verbal or nonverbal, about him drinking. He was never drunk. Then this morning he took the dog for a walk before he had to leave again. While he was gone,...

tlcate · tlcate

Things have been a challenge lately - to say the least. Nothing "bad" - everyone is healthy and loving each other which is what is most important. Purchasing my first home and running into a lot of challenges - especially having the motivation and energy to keep pushing forward. So a frie...

shyspouse · shyspouse

Been married to AH for 25 years he is 146 days sober today. Needless to say our marriage had not been strong. I started working on me years ago when I tired of his failed attempts at recovery. This time he went through Hazelden and I attended the family week. I have been feeling great. So nice to have m...

Megthompson · Megthompson

Hi Everyone I have great news to share with you all. I came to this website a couple of months ago and explained there is no Al Anon where I live.So great news, I am getting one started here in Lusaka, Zambia, Africa.I am just so excited.The first meeting will be Friday 5th November.We have support from Al...

this too shall pass · this too shall pass

Hi, i have been feeling terrible for the last month... my AH has been sober and attending meetings for a little over a year now and i know how difficult it is for them.. when we go out he always tells me it is okay if i want to drink.. even gets me a drink often.. he doen't liek being at home even thoug now a days i...

mjhyankees · mjhyankees

I understand (even if I find it hard to practice) detachment, loving oneself, gratitude etc. But there are some questions that show for me, how I'll have to come to terms with some concepts at some point: 1. Where does ambition fit in? How can one be detached, grateful etc and still feel that drive. ...

Bambina10 · Bambina10

My AH has been very committed to sobriety and AA meetings for the last approx 2 months, attending 3 to 4 times a week. He looks healthy, self confident, almost cocky. He's been financially broke for the last 6 mos because of bad financial moves (consequence of his addiction). He still display...

Imogen421 · Imogen421

Hi all, I feel I'm "disappearing" into Al anon reading, reading on alcoholism and being online and on these boards searching, reading, searching, and posting as an escape or attempt to find an answer that isn't there (yet). Or like I want to find an exact replica of myself out there somewhe...

AnnaM · AnnaM

Hi, I would really like to find some double winner meetings in the OC area. Hoping to find some in HB, NB, CM, FV those kind of areas... Please share any info you have or if there is a website for this kind of info. Thank you! Anna -- Edited by AnnaM on Friday 17th of July 2009 12:23:17 PM

member922 · member922

I am finally learning to live and let live as far as my addict bf. I didn't think I could stay with him because I didn't agree with his lifestyle. I thought my only peace would come when he was out of my life. We do have some good times and I don't have to give that up. From my reading, I now understand that he...

maresie · maresie

My biological family was alcoholic. My mother stocked up alcohol for weeks and weeks before the holidays. My younger sister has pictures of my father totally smashed holidng a bottle. I know that environment set me up to tolerate and to be obsessed around alcoholics on the holidays. The ex AH rel...

JadeM · JadeM

As a newcomer, I really need to understand what my relationship is to the addicted person in my life, and why it is the way it is. I tried going to a meeting in NYC, but no matter how much I raised my hand, it was very clubby and I didn't get picked. I was desperate to share. Yet people would go on and on about t...

DreamsOver · DreamsOver

And for sharing things that help and has helped each of you. I wish I good give each and everyone of you a great big ((((((hug))))). Wonderful, loving people here. Dreams

Holly09 · Holly09

I have not been here in a while, up until recently things have been good. 2 weeks ago my boyfriends dad was diagnosed with a brain tumor, they think it's his renal cancer has come back from 9 yrs ago. They can operate and hopefully get the whole tumor and he is very positive as so am I. My boyfriend on the o...

GailMichelle · GailMichelle

My exAH called me a few days ago to tell me that he had been held at gun point by a group of men and women for two days. He gave me details of everything that happened. At one point, he said that several of the meanest men left to go do a killing in another country. The ones that stayed behind in his small coun...

blender_girl · blender_girl

I will be unavailable to chair this Friday's morning meeting - hopefully someone can take my place this week! Thanks! bg

shellyj123 · shellyj123

Haven't been here in ages....had to Let go and let god in sooo many areas, in order to try to find myself again. The struggles have been many and the rewards have been great...I had to go through it to get to it. No perfection here, just an imperfect girl still making progress. My apologizes for anyone...

lyndebi · lyndebi

Some of you know I have been fighting to keep my home since forever. Got yet another turn down for a loan mod. Was dumb in the first place. The mortgage company had it all set up, payments and all. the gal quit. They needed a signature from me the day I was in surgery, becuz i could not sign it, they canceled th...

Tracy · Tracy

Just want to share how good I am feeling today and it is all thanks to al anon and my HP. I was feeling so sorry for myself a day or two ago full of resentment and I did not like it. I though what al anon tool can I use to help me feel better. I went to a small bag I have containing al anon slogans, sayings etc and ask...

JadeM · JadeM

My ex is an addict/alcoholic with whom I lived (on and off because I left several times due to abuse)for 14 years seems incapable of running his own life, and doesn't seem to want to. He seems to have an ingrained expectectation that women---me that is---should take care of him, rescue him, and keep gi...

mdh · mdh

Things were going okay, then his self esteem grew and I support him in his endeavors, but I get no support in mine. I relayed this to him, and remind him he is hanging on a string. I have teenagers and do appreciate just the fact that he is around I have a little help. I remind him that it is the childre...

Wolfie · Wolfie

Good morning ladies. you too guys. Sorry haven't been here in quite some time. I had some internet problems. They have been fixed and now I'm back to get fixed some more. Of course I just volunterered to be DCM in my district (in the other fellowship) so I don't know how often I'll be here. But I love your po...

Karilynn · Karilynn

((((Family))), The Great Pipers and I wanted to take a moment and wish you all a very HAPPY HALLOWEEN! Enjoy the day with family & friends, and all the little ghosts and goblins out there. If you see a black kitty it's Pipers waving to you in search of her own tricks or treats (or mousies). Rememb...

nmike · nmike

I am here, gone but not forgotten. My Internet connection at home is very intermittent since January. I write a response and it cuts out, I rewrite and lose it again. So I haven't posted. I don't do much personal work at work mainly because it is work and I am too busy. I miss you all. I hope you are all doing w...

Imogen421 · Imogen421

hello again, I'm working Al Anon and detaching, realizing Alcoholism is a disease. At the same time, I'm doing things proactively regarding the illness because I feel the relationship is worth trying for. So I asked my AF within the week to get a full evaluation with recommendations for treatment an...

DreamsOver · DreamsOver

Depression has taken such a toll on me, I just wake up not wanting to get out of bed, I have lost about 20 lbs., I have no interest whatsoever in eating. I saw a counselor Friday because I have been having thoughts that dying would be easier than living like this. She wants me to go to a medical doctor and ge...

mjhyankees · mjhyankees

As I thought, I'm feeling better the last two days. Nothing changed but my feelings. This depression comes and goes. I know I can feed into it or work against it. What helped? I think two good nights sleep in a row. Some exercise, went to a beach bonfire with some friends, spent time with my daughte...

mjhyankees · mjhyankees

I must be the whiniest person on this board. Sorry folks. Anyway I though I'd share some of my past....i dont' know why but it seems connected to why I'm having such a hard time today. Without going into great detail, I'm an ACOA, who got into therapy in the early 90's and was directed to Alanon by my thera...

Mercy · Mercy

Hello Again...so my bil went to detox and was only able to be there for the night. The room had no T.V. and there were 4 other men sharing the room. It broke my heart when my FIL told me that his friend's mother picked him up and brought him home. He is 26 years old and lives with his father who is also a AH. I have...

Megthompson · Megthompson

hi how do i get to the 12 step workboard?thanks. meg

GailMichelle · GailMichelle

As I wrote in my last post, my exAH does realize that the bizarre story of being held hostage at gun point in his home was all in his mind. I spoke to him about he is in the last stages of alcoholism and that I hope he gives detox/rehab serious consideration. He was straddling the fence. He shared with me s...

Holly09 · Holly09

HAPPY HALLOWEEN EVERYONE!!!

shimo · shimo

I am unable to chair the Monday a.m. Al-anon Meeting (November 1). Hoping someone will be able to step up for me. Thanks

mjhyankees · mjhyankees

I feel down so much.....there are moments of contentment, but they dont' last. I realize it's my own fault, that I should be able to be happy regardless of what life is throwing at me but it doesn't sink in. Somehow I feel screwed all the time, like I"m not meant to be happy. I feel like Charlie Bro...

Hoot Nanny · Hoot Nanny

Life is rough today--I really have to slow down anymore! I want to take it slower but I am having trouble doing it! I will keep plugging away! I need to take some deep breaths & relax! I am hoping the day will go better later. Oops there goes my cell phone. Gotta go! Kathleen

Katy · Katy

I was just thinking how as my family grew up, I am talking my mum and my siblings, we really were very aware that as a one parent family we were made to feel somehow less than, and that stuck with me most of all the time I felt unhappy, when I started to feel better, it was when I stopped feeling less than, I didn...

dori711 · dori711

That's what I've been doing for many years. I've been hiding it because I'm ashamed. My mother doesn't know about my A husband's problem although she has cracked some jokes about it seeing him with her own eyes. My parents seldom consumed alcohol, it was saved only for special occasions or Chris...

Topic		Started By	Replies	Views	Last Post
	Another detachment question (Preview) I'd really love to hear how people in the group have handled this issue: I am struggling with trying to control my AH and certain situations. I am struggling with the line between setting boundaries (necessary for my own emotional well being) and trying to control (which just creates more heartache...	stephaniej	5	709	Nov 4, 2010 by pineapple
	New Here (Preview) Hi Everyone, I am new here and need support. I have been married 11 years and just recently, in May to June, my husband went away to a rehab. He job intervened and we had a full intervention and he went to rehab. About three weeks later, he was drinking again. I have trouble because I constantly feel convi...	mmitche2	5	364	Nov 4, 2010 by pineapple
	Hi all (Preview) Hi all, been away polishing the tools, keeping the focus on me by minding my own business and renewing my strength and courage in the room. I feel better and stronger and have locked the poor mes back in their box! Although I havent been posting I have been with you all every day reading all the posts and i...	Ness	5	391	Nov 4, 2010 by Ness
	Procrastination (Preview) I could really use so help getting unstuck from my self defeating habit of continually procrastinating. I have been coming here and reading everyones posts for a few weeks and it seems to help my mood but I seem to really be lacking in the action department. I seem to still spend alot of time in my head, t...	Ginger90	6	1203	Nov 3, 2010 by maire rua
	Attended my first Meeting (Preview) I was finally able to attend my first in-person meeting yesterday. In some ways it was uncomfortable and overwhelming, surrounded by strangers and not fully knowing how the meeting would be structured or what it would involve. But of course, everyone was open and welcoming. I chose to "pas...	stephaniej	6	392	Nov 3, 2010 by SteppingUp
	Blah (Preview) Mini fourth step and sometimes the results just really stink. Have a lot going on - but in the middle of it I feel a discomfort that doesn't belong - that bad apple making the rest of a difficult situation even worse. So I sit down with pen and paper and start writing. Jeeeez. Denial, it sure is a comfortab...	tlcate	6	788	Nov 3, 2010 by glad lee
	What's in a SMILE? How can I SMILE when I am going through so much sadness? (Preview) Stress released Miraculous cure in the melting of the ice, stress, negative...whatever of the moment Invocation of others to SMILE in response Love of self in that moment of appreciation of something positive Emotional tonic and the release of Endorphins in the body. So how can I SMILE when I am goin...	Suzannah	5	874	Nov 3, 2010 by shellyj123
	Another meeting question (Preview) So I have attended 2 meetings now. The first was very interesting, not so much the content, but the learning of the way it works. The first was about the 10th step or something like that. And the one last night was about the 11th step or practice or whatever they call it. I am just beginning with this and t...	member922	6	900	Nov 3, 2010 by member922
	Last night's meeting (Preview) I had such an interesting experience at the face to face Al Anon meeting I attended last night. First, I'm still a beginner so I attended the beginner's meeting, which is a short meeting before the main meeting. Last night was my 4th meeting so I don't really feel like a beginner anymore but I still find...	usedtobeanyer	5	442	Nov 3, 2010 by abbyal
	Getting some answers..... (Preview) Sometimes I know myself so well. And of course sometimes i'm clueless. The questions I posted and pondered the other night was helpful. I've conclude that I can be happy WHILE I'm striving, searching, hoping and dreaming. That I can still do those things and be happy BEFORE anything comes to fruit...	mjhyankees	4	372	Nov 3, 2010 by ythannah
	Question about kids with a parent who is drinking (Preview) Hi all, I believe I've raised this issue in the past but I'd like to raise it again as I'm becoming more and more uncomfortable with this concept and it's causing me some conflict in really putting the Al Anon methods into practice. To recap, my wife is attending AA but still actively drinking. Not on a da...	usedtobeanyer	11	831	Nov 3, 2010 by Ness
	It's still working me...and I love it! (Preview) I've been doing some thinking lately, something I hate to do....mirror time, and I am not always gentle on myself when it comes to that. Still waiting on news of my Uncle, praying and trying to turn it over, but having trouble doing so again....always find myself taking it back. My HP and I "yo yo&...	shellyj123	3	676	Nov 3, 2010 by Katy
	being careful what we wish for (Preview) As many of you may know, I've had some large challenges that are weighing me down. So, I've been praying and praying for my HP to give me the wisdom and strength to manage them; I've also prayed for my HP to take them from me. Well, this morning is a distraction, all right! First I'm locked out of MIP, then...	bud	3	758	Nov 2, 2010 by Jerry F
	CAn't feel? (Preview) I was walking the dog tonight, a beautiful clear starry night...you could see stars behind stars it was so clear..you know the clusters of stars you don't normally see. Anyway while I intellectually recognized it as beautiful....I couldn't feel much at all! I should have been IMO moved and mildy e...	mjhyankees	5	616	Nov 2, 2010 by mjhyankees
	7 year old thinks she may be like mama when she`s older. (Preview) Well everytime I think I have heard more than I can bare. All I have to do is wait for another day lately. I had my gd 5 days last week and I felt good about that. Knowing she was getting norishment and dressed properly and spent enough time on her reading which she has difficulty with and her mother is suppo...	Samsgram	4	376	Nov 2, 2010 by Samsgram
	Going Crazy...... (Preview) It's been a very long time since I have been on this website. I went to my first face to face meeting this morning, so I have been thinking a lot about this program. I actually told my boss and coworkers that I had a doctor appointment, but went to an Alanon meeting. My story is that my husband is a type 1 di...	helpme08	3	953	Nov 2, 2010 by Jerry F
	Question about Detaching (Preview) Conceptually, I understand how detachment works with respect to my AH. My question is more about how it works when it comes to talking/venting about my problems with loved ones. On the one hand, it helps to be open with people about my struggles. But on the other hand, when I talk about the challenge...	stephaniej	4	408	Nov 2, 2010 by White Rabbit
	Don't want to go on (Preview) I met my husband over 25 years ago when he was actively drinking (we were not married then). I gave him a choice then it was me or the drugs and alcohol, he chose the latter. I told him to call me when he was clean and sober in 2 years (I waited for him). Well, he did, but he wasn't. We split for good and I went...	dollmininut	12	898	Nov 2, 2010 by sunflowergirl
	Having a hard time with my anger & frustration (Preview) Hello, one thing I am struggling with as time passes by is my anger & frustration. I can't help but feel so angry towards my wife when she drinks. I'm trying to learn to hide it and trying to keep it under control. But I'm finding it is becoming harder and harder as time goes by. Even if my wife doesn't dr...	usedtobeanyer	13	720	Nov 2, 2010 by oklahoma momof5
	What to do when AH says "pick me up beer" (Preview) I am just starting ALAnon and have the courage to change book, I just feel at a loss on how to even make any changes. I live with my AH and his 3 children (I have no children of my own). I just learned AH quit his job today-he "couldn't handle it" any more. That is all the explanation given and if I ev...	soozin12	8	805	Nov 2, 2010 by SteppingUp
	I'm back.... (Preview) Nothing has really improved with my situation but I realize that I need to give Alanon 100% or order to work on myself..............I lost touch! I'm going to HAVE to start going to face to face it's the only way at this point! My A still is drinking and it's getting worse we are still NOT together but ...	Hopeless	5	533	Nov 2, 2010 by Hopeless
	anyone else dislike step 9? (Preview) from the alcoholic's perpective I mean Made direct amends to such people wherever possible, except when to do so would injure them or others. maybe its because over many years my husband, like most a's, made a career out of lying. most of it revolved around drinking of course. but what if there were dru...	oscarmom	10	1079	Nov 2, 2010 by kitty
	Hello All (Preview) Hello everyone! My name is Hilary I am 29 years old and I have a 1 year old son. I am the daughter of an alcoholic. My mother has drank from as far back as I can remember. When I was younger I can remember my mother sleeping all day long while I took care of my younger brother and the house, the only time she wo...	hfrush	5	397	Nov 2, 2010 by sunflowergirl
	Having a hard time (Preview) So my AH was home this weekend, and we had a lovely weekend. He had a few beers here and there, and I think I did a good job of not expressing any opinion, verbal or nonverbal, about him drinking. He was never drunk. Then this morning he took the dog for a walk before he had to leave again. While he was gone,...	stephaniej	5	721	Nov 2, 2010 by sunflowergirl
	This is not "turn yourself into a robot" program (Preview) Things have been a challenge lately - to say the least. Nothing "bad" - everyone is healthy and loving each other which is what is most important. Purchasing my first home and running into a lot of challenges - especially having the motivation and energy to keep pushing forward. So a frie...	tlcate	10	752	Nov 2, 2010 by sunflowergirl
	New - need support (Preview) Been married to AH for 25 years he is 146 days sober today. Needless to say our marriage had not been strong. I started working on me years ago when I tired of his failed attempts at recovery. This time he went through Hazelden and I attended the family week. I have been feeling great. So nice to have m...	shyspouse	5	388	Nov 2, 2010 by Cloudsea
	VERY EXCITING AND GREAT NEWS, AL ANON IN AFRICA (Preview) Hi Everyone I have great news to share with you all. I came to this website a couple of months ago and explained there is no Al Anon where I live.So great news, I am getting one started here in Lusaka, Zambia, Africa.I am just so excited.The first meeting will be Friday 5th November.We have support from Al...	Megthompson	7	510	Nov 2, 2010 by Megthompson
	I drink... (Preview) Hi, i have been feeling terrible for the last month... my AH has been sober and attending meetings for a little over a year now and i know how difficult it is for them.. when we go out he always tells me it is okay if i want to drink.. even gets me a drink often.. he doen't liek being at home even thoug now a days i...	this too shall pass	10	1164	Nov 2, 2010 by this too shall pass
	Some questions I'm going to have to resolve....... (Preview) I understand (even if I find it hard to practice) detachment, loving oneself, gratitude etc. But there are some questions that show for me, how I'll have to come to terms with some concepts at some point: 1. Where does ambition fit in? How can one be detached, grateful etc and still feel that drive. ...	mjhyankees	7	484	Nov 1, 2010 by mjhyankees
	Did I trigger my AH relapse..? (Preview) My AH has been very committed to sobriety and AA meetings for the last approx 2 months, attending 3 to 4 times a week. He looks healthy, self confident, almost cocky. He's been financially broke for the last 6 mos because of bad financial moves (consequence of his addiction). He still display...	Bambina10	8	446	Nov 1, 2010 by abbyal
	getting "addicted" / obsessed with alanon (and other) concerns? (Preview) Hi all, I feel I'm "disappearing" into Al anon reading, reading on alcoholism and being online and on these boards searching, reading, searching, and posting as an escape or attempt to find an answer that isn't there (yet). Or like I want to find an exact replica of myself out there somewhe...	Imogen421	9	659	Nov 1, 2010 by lyndebi
	LOOKING FOR DOUBLE WINNER MEETINGS (Preview) Hi, I would really like to find some double winner meetings in the OC area. Hoping to find some in HB, NB, CM, FV those kind of areas... Please share any info you have or if there is a website for this kind of info. Thank you! Anna -- Edited by AnnaM on Friday 17th of July 2009 12:23:17 PM	AnnaM	8	8461	Nov 1, 2010 by Bev4Hope
	Learning detachment, I love it!! (Preview) I am finally learning to live and let live as far as my addict bf. I didn't think I could stay with him because I didn't agree with his lifestyle. I thought my only peace would come when he was out of my life. We do have some good times and I don't have to give that up. From my reading, I now understand that he...	member922	5	395	Nov 1, 2010 by member922
	the holidays with an alcoholic (Preview) My biological family was alcoholic. My mother stocked up alcohol for weeks and weeks before the holidays. My younger sister has pictures of my father totally smashed holidng a bottle. I know that environment set me up to tolerate and to be obsessed around alcoholics on the holidays. The ex AH rel...	maresie	8	860	Nov 1, 2010 by Ness
	I'm a Newcomer to Alanon; This is 12-Step Right? (Preview) As a newcomer, I really need to understand what my relationship is to the addicted person in my life, and why it is the way it is. I tried going to a meeting in NYC, but no matter how much I raised my hand, it was very clubby and I didn't get picked. I was desperate to share. Yet people would go on and on about t...	JadeM	6	395	Nov 1, 2010 by sunflowergirl
	Thank You All For Caring... (Preview) And for sharing things that help and has helped each of you. I wish I good give each and everyone of you a great big ((((((hug))))). Wonderful, loving people here. Dreams	DreamsOver	3	658	Nov 1, 2010 by sunflowergirl
	that bad place keeps creeping up on me (Preview) I have not been here in a while, up until recently things have been good. 2 weeks ago my boyfriends dad was diagnosed with a brain tumor, they think it's his renal cancer has come back from 9 yrs ago. They can operate and hopefully get the whole tumor and he is very positive as so am I. My boyfriend on the o...	Holly09	5	328	Nov 1, 2010 by sunflowergirl
	Has Anything Like This Happened to Your Alcoholic? (Preview) My exAH called me a few days ago to tell me that he had been held at gun point by a group of men and women for two days. He gave me details of everything that happened. At one point, he said that several of the meanest men left to go do a killing in another country. The ones that stayed behind in his small coun...	GailMichelle	9	807	Nov 1, 2010 by blender_girl
	Friday Morning Meeting - 11/5/2010 - Need someone to chair (Preview) I will be unavailable to chair this Friday's morning meeting - hopefully someone can take my place this week! Thanks! bg	blender_girl	0	310	Nov 1, 2010 by blender_girl
	It's working me... (Preview) Haven't been here in ages....had to Let go and let god in sooo many areas, in order to try to find myself again. The struggles have been many and the rewards have been great...I had to go through it to get to it. No perfection here, just an imperfect girl still making progress. My apologizes for anyone...	shellyj123	9	384	Nov 1, 2010 by Katy
	A little fear crept in (Preview) Some of you know I have been fighting to keep my home since forever. Got yet another turn down for a loan mod. Was dumb in the first place. The mortgage company had it all set up, payments and all. the gal quit. They needed a signature from me the day I was in surgery, becuz i could not sign it, they canceled th...	lyndebi	8	815	Nov 1, 2010 by Katy
	I do matter (Preview) Just want to share how good I am feeling today and it is all thanks to al anon and my HP. I was feeling so sorry for myself a day or two ago full of resentment and I did not like it. I though what al anon tool can I use to help me feel better. I went to a small bag I have containing al anon slogans, sayings etc and ask...	Tracy	4	536	Nov 1, 2010 by Jerry F
	Addict Loved One Who Harasses for Money (Preview) My ex is an addict/alcoholic with whom I lived (on and off because I left several times due to abuse)for 14 years seems incapable of running his own life, and doesn't seem to want to. He seems to have an ingrained expectectation that women---me that is---should take care of him, rescue him, and keep gi...	JadeM	4	790	Nov 1, 2010 by Jerry F
	New Here, I am dealing with an past AH who is attending AA for 1 year, I need support besides him. (Preview) Things were going okay, then his self esteem grew and I support him in his endeavors, but I get no support in mine. I relayed this to him, and remind him he is hanging on a string. I have teenagers and do appreciate just the fact that he is around I have a little help. I remind him that it is the childre...	mdh	5	484	Nov 1, 2010 by Bambina10
	Just Checking In (Preview) Good morning ladies. you too guys. Sorry haven't been here in quite some time. I had some internet problems. They have been fixed and now I'm back to get fixed some more. Of course I just volunterered to be DCM in my district (in the other fellowship) so I don't know how often I'll be here. But I love your po...	Wolfie	5	484	Nov 1, 2010 by Andrea12
	Happy Halloween! (Preview) ((((Family))), The Great Pipers and I wanted to take a moment and wish you all a very HAPPY HALLOWEEN! Enjoy the day with family & friends, and all the little ghosts and goblins out there. If you see a black kitty it's Pipers waving to you in search of her own tricks or treats (or mousies). Rememb...	Karilynn	2	307	Oct 31, 2010 by RLC
	I am here! (Preview) I am here, gone but not forgotten. My Internet connection at home is very intermittent since January. I write a response and it cuts out, I rewrite and lose it again. So I haven't posted. I don't do much personal work at work mainly because it is work and I am too busy. I miss you all. I hope you are all doing w...	nmike	3	357	Oct 31, 2010 by Andrea12
	do interventions work, can treatment work? (Preview) hello again, I'm working Al Anon and detaching, realizing Alcoholism is a disease. At the same time, I'm doing things proactively regarding the illness because I feel the relationship is worth trying for. So I asked my AF within the week to get a full evaluation with recommendations for treatment an...	Imogen421	10	749	Oct 31, 2010 by abbyal
	Feelling Depression........... (Preview) Depression has taken such a toll on me, I just wake up not wanting to get out of bed, I have lost about 20 lbs., I have no interest whatsoever in eating. I saw a counselor Friday because I have been having thoughts that dying would be easier than living like this. She wants me to go to a medical doctor and ge...	DreamsOver	6	748	Oct 31, 2010 by xeno59
	As expected. (Preview) As I thought, I'm feeling better the last two days. Nothing changed but my feelings. This depression comes and goes. I know I can feed into it or work against it. What helped? I think two good nights sleep in a row. Some exercise, went to a beach bonfire with some friends, spent time with my daughte...	mjhyankees	2	319	Oct 31, 2010 by xeno59
	About me.... (Preview) I must be the whiniest person on this board. Sorry folks. Anyway I though I'd share some of my past....i dont' know why but it seems connected to why I'm having such a hard time today. Without going into great detail, I'm an ACOA, who got into therapy in the early 90's and was directed to Alanon by my thera...	mjhyankees	3	303	Oct 31, 2010 by xeno59
	BIL never completed detox and know his father thinks it is better if he just drank (Preview) Hello Again...so my bil went to detox and was only able to be there for the night. The room had no T.V. and there were 4 other men sharing the room. It broke my heart when my FIL told me that his friend's mother picked him up and brought him home. He is 26 years old and lives with his father who is also a AH. I have...	Mercy	5	640	Oct 31, 2010 by Tracy
	question how do i get to 12 step work board? (Preview) hi how do i get to the 12 step workboard?thanks. meg	Megthompson	1	253	Oct 31, 2010 by tlcate
	Update on My exAH's Bizarre Story (Preview) As I wrote in my last post, my exAH does realize that the bizarre story of being held hostage at gun point in his home was all in his mind. I spoke to him about he is in the last stages of alcoholism and that I hope he gives detox/rehab serious consideration. He was straddling the fence. He shared with me s...	GailMichelle	5	778	Oct 31, 2010 by GailMichelle
	SPOOKY (Preview) HAPPY HALLOWEEN EVERYONE!!!	Holly09	0	245	Oct 31, 2010 by Holly09
	Monday a.m. Al-Anon Mtg (Preview) I am unable to chair the Monday a.m. Al-anon Meeting (November 1). Hoping someone will be able to step up for me. Thanks	shimo	0	222	Oct 31, 2010 by shimo
	I'm so tired of feeling like this. (Preview) I feel down so much.....there are moments of contentment, but they dont' last. I realize it's my own fault, that I should be able to be happy regardless of what life is throwing at me but it doesn't sink in. Somehow I feel screwed all the time, like I"m not meant to be happy. I feel like Charlie Bro...	mjhyankees	7	825	Oct 30, 2010 by mjhyankees
	I am so rushed today... (Preview) Life is rough today--I really have to slow down anymore! I want to take it slower but I am having trouble doing it! I will keep plugging away! I need to take some deep breaths & relax! I am hoping the day will go better later. Oops there goes my cell phone. Gotta go! Kathleen	Hoot Nanny	1	342	Oct 30, 2010 by member922
	Stigma and labels! (Preview) I was just thinking how as my family grew up, I am talking my mum and my siblings, we really were very aware that as a one parent family we were made to feel somehow less than, and that stuck with me most of all the time I felt unhappy, when I started to feel better, it was when I stopped feeling less than, I didn...	Katy	3	717	Oct 30, 2010 by xeno59
	Hiding the A's drinking problem (Preview) That's what I've been doing for many years. I've been hiding it because I'm ashamed. My mother doesn't know about my A husband's problem although she has cracked some jokes about it seeing him with her own eyes. My parents seldom consumed alcohol, it was saved only for special occasions or Chris...	dori711	10	763	Oct 30, 2010 by dori711
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The material presented here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method to exchange information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal level.