Al-Anon Family Group - Al-Anon Family Group

stephaniej · stephaniej

My older kids will be with their dad this weekend, so it will just be me and the baby. I'm trying to make enough plans for the weekend so that I stay sufficiently occupied with things other than my obsession. I will NOT text and call my AH obsessively, trying to create "opportunities" for him t...

Hopeless · Hopeless

and it didn't go the way I expected = ( It was voting time and they were having elections = ( Someone did come up to me and explained that it wasn't a typical meeting and to please come back next Wednesday so that is what I'm going to do....

kerry5 · kerry5

Business Meeting Sunday, Agenda Meeting Schedule Vote for room preditor If you have anything you would like added to the agenda please contact me. Thanks Kerry (aka kerisha)

hfrush · hfrush

Today my mother made it her mission to make me feel like the lowest piece of scum this planet has ever seen. I have been called so many names today and have been told that I am a terrible, selfish person.Even though I am hurting I know that she didn't really mean what she said to me but still I am finding it ha...

NCSUgeology · NCSUgeology

I got a scolding letter from my brother today. He said that I "served him up to his PO", and therefore he will get the extended time in Jail becuase of what my dad and I told his PO. He's mad that I didn't lie about his drinking. Let the silent treatment begin.

sunflowergirl · sunflowergirl

I am working really hard, and have come to step 4 but haven't tackled it yet, or embraced it or whatever you want to say. The thing is, the person I do photography with, the person I invited to work with me in my business is causing me to relapse a bit. I asked her to work with me. Then I allowed her to take ov...

usedtobeanyer · usedtobeanyer

One thing I'm still confused about is how to respond when I find my wife drunk (hasn't happened in a while, fortunately!). For a while I just sort of thought I would ignore it; now I'm wondering if that does more harm than good. My thoughts at this point are--don't say anything while they are drunk, when t...

sunshinemama · sunshinemama

After 9 days of sobriety, my AH relapsed -- HARD. The sobriety came from him being on such a long, hard binge that his body literally started breaking down. He has blood pressure and cholesterol issues as it is and has been an alcoholic for over 20 years (sometimes worse than others). He got scared th...

mjhyankees · mjhyankees

Never feel particularly joyful these days but there's been no negatives to speak of and there have been some moments, even hours of enjoyment here and there. Exercising at night has been good. It clears my head and tires me out for bedtime. I've been a little more productive with somethings too, n...

furno78 · furno78

Hi this is going to be a long post so I hope someone will take the time to read it and help me. I have been Married for the past year and a half and I have been with him nearly 5 years. I feel like I have married 2 people 1 who I adore the most amazing kind hearted man I have ever met and the other I cant even stomach. H...

Brookiebabe222 · Brookiebabe222

Hey everyone. I really appreciate all the help and support I have recieved from all of you. I have been struggling a lot these past couple days. I broke up with my addict boyfriend of about a year yesterday because he started using again. I have found it so hard to stay away from him and not talk to him. He li...

wife2010 · wife2010

I've been married for about 8 years now, my husband prior to us getting married he was addicted to drugs, but I was so naive that I decided to continue and see if he would give up the drug. during the 8 years have been a battle with that addiction. I decided to separate back in early this year, but we only ende...

bud · bud

My aka is "carmen"; I have been working this program over a year and am not a spammer. Have I been banned because my web connection appears similar to someone who spammed? Or, is there a reason why the MIP website does not want me here? I am panicking because I rely so heavily on MIP for help. I...

Holly09 · Holly09

Things around here have been awful since Sat. My A boyfriends dad was diagnosed with a brain tumor so we are waiting to hear about treatment. My bfriend lost his mom 2yrs ago to cancer and his younger brother in February to cancer so he is having a hard time and has started therapy. He hasn't been drink...

mjhyankees · mjhyankees

Was walking the dog, everything was ok and the mind started thinking all the negative thoughts again (I'm not good at enough at________, I'll never get out from under debt, my house looks like crap etc.).....hopefully someday this won't happen. I'm fighting it best I can, I'm going to try to exerci...

stephaniej · stephaniej

Yesterday my AH told me his crew would be working 10 hours. I sent a message to the wife of the family he's staying with (the husband is working with my AH), commenting how I was glad they were working 10, since it would give my AH less time to sit around their house feeling sorry for himself. I realize and ac...

clteach · clteach

Just want to give a little of my history and then ask a couple of questions. I have a history of "falling in love" and trusting addicts of one type or another. I married at 18 an alcoholic, who at the time I didn't realize one. He left when I was 22. Visited Al Anon meetings with his mom but did...

Katy · Katy

First I came, Then I came to belive! Then I thought with my head( jeez I had loads of practice doing that! Now it's moving down to my heart (GULP), AND I am multy tasking, thinking and doing, does the thinking ever stop? is it like riding a bike Jerry F, you will know, x everyone xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx ((((hug...

White Rabbit · White Rabbit

Before recovery, I took on other people's emotions like they were my own - particularly the alcoholic's emotions. If the alcoholic was happy, I was happy. If the alcoholic was depressed, I was depressed. If the alcoholic was drunk, I was just as crazy even if I was sober. Even today it's hard - albei...

Ness · Ness

Three years ago my husband and I stopped living any kind of normal life. Its as if the pause button was pressed and we waited for normal service to resume. It was a slow decline for us over the years to reach this stage but the disease of alcoholism is patient, cunning, baffling and powerful and slowly ove...

Katy · Katy

A man is stopped by police at midnight and asked, where is he going? I am on the way to a lecture on the effects of alcohol and drugs abuse on the human body, the policeman say's really? and who is going to give a lecture at this time of night? My WIFE!

Brookiebabe222 · Brookiebabe222

My boyfriend of almost a year is an addict. He was clean for six months then he relapsed. He has been using on and off since then, which was about three weeks ago. We have broken up and gotten back together a couple times in those past few weeks. I just love him so much and I know that he is capable of stopp...

stopandchat · stopandchat

Hi all, My AH has been sober now for a little over 2 months since his last relapse. He's working his program and doing all the things he needs to do in his recovery. I'm trying to do the same. My problem is that I am still have resentments toward him for the messes he has caused that are still affecting our lif...

stephaniej · stephaniej

I'd really love to hear how people in the group have handled this issue: I am struggling with trying to control my AH and certain situations. I am struggling with the line between setting boundaries (necessary for my own emotional well being) and trying to control (which just creates more heartache...

mmitche2 · mmitche2

Hi Everyone, I am new here and need support. I have been married 11 years and just recently, in May to June, my husband went away to a rehab. He job intervened and we had a full intervention and he went to rehab. About three weeks later, he was drinking again. I have trouble because I constantly feel convi...

Ness · Ness

Hi all, been away polishing the tools, keeping the focus on me by minding my own business and renewing my strength and courage in the room. I feel better and stronger and have locked the poor mes back in their box! Although I havent been posting I have been with you all every day reading all the posts and i...

Ginger90 · Ginger90

I could really use so help getting unstuck from my self defeating habit of continually procrastinating. I have been coming here and reading everyones posts for a few weeks and it seems to help my mood but I seem to really be lacking in the action department. I seem to still spend alot of time in my head, t...

stephaniej · stephaniej

I was finally able to attend my first in-person meeting yesterday. In some ways it was uncomfortable and overwhelming, surrounded by strangers and not fully knowing how the meeting would be structured or what it would involve. But of course, everyone was open and welcoming. I chose to "pas...

tlcate · tlcate

Mini fourth step and sometimes the results just really stink. Have a lot going on - but in the middle of it I feel a discomfort that doesn't belong - that bad apple making the rest of a difficult situation even worse. So I sit down with pen and paper and start writing. Jeeeez. Denial, it sure is a comfortab...

Suzannah · Suzannah

Stress released Miraculous cure in the melting of the ice, stress, negative...whatever of the moment Invocation of others to SMILE in response Love of self in that moment of appreciation of something positive Emotional tonic and the release of Endorphins in the body. So how can I SMILE when I am goin...

member922 · member922

So I have attended 2 meetings now. The first was very interesting, not so much the content, but the learning of the way it works. The first was about the 10th step or something like that. And the one last night was about the 11th step or practice or whatever they call it. I am just beginning with this and t...

usedtobeanyer · usedtobeanyer

I had such an interesting experience at the face to face Al Anon meeting I attended last night. First, I'm still a beginner so I attended the beginner's meeting, which is a short meeting before the main meeting. Last night was my 4th meeting so I don't really feel like a beginner anymore but I still find...

mjhyankees · mjhyankees

Sometimes I know myself so well. And of course sometimes i'm clueless. The questions I posted and pondered the other night was helpful. I've conclude that I can be happy WHILE I'm striving, searching, hoping and dreaming. That I can still do those things and be happy BEFORE anything comes to fruit...

usedtobeanyer · usedtobeanyer

Hi all, I believe I've raised this issue in the past but I'd like to raise it again as I'm becoming more and more uncomfortable with this concept and it's causing me some conflict in really putting the Al Anon methods into practice. To recap, my wife is attending AA but still actively drinking. Not on a da...

shellyj123 · shellyj123

I've been doing some thinking lately, something I hate to do....mirror time, and I am not always gentle on myself when it comes to that. Still waiting on news of my Uncle, praying and trying to turn it over, but having trouble doing so again....always find myself taking it back. My HP and I "yo yo&...

bud · bud

As many of you may know, I've had some large challenges that are weighing me down. So, I've been praying and praying for my HP to give me the wisdom and strength to manage them; I've also prayed for my HP to take them from me. Well, this morning is a distraction, all right! First I'm locked out of MIP, then...

mjhyankees · mjhyankees

I was walking the dog tonight, a beautiful clear starry night...you could see stars behind stars it was so clear..you know the clusters of stars you don't normally see. Anyway while I intellectually recognized it as beautiful....I couldn't feel much at all! I should have been IMO moved and mildy e...

Samsgram · Samsgram

Well everytime I think I have heard more than I can bare. All I have to do is wait for another day lately. I had my gd 5 days last week and I felt good about that. Knowing she was getting norishment and dressed properly and spent enough time on her reading which she has difficulty with and her mother is suppo...

helpme08 · helpme08

It's been a very long time since I have been on this website. I went to my first face to face meeting this morning, so I have been thinking a lot about this program. I actually told my boss and coworkers that I had a doctor appointment, but went to an Alanon meeting. My story is that my husband is a type 1 di...

stephaniej · stephaniej

Conceptually, I understand how detachment works with respect to my AH. My question is more about how it works when it comes to talking/venting about my problems with loved ones. On the one hand, it helps to be open with people about my struggles. But on the other hand, when I talk about the challenge...

dollmininut · dollmininut

I met my husband over 25 years ago when he was actively drinking (we were not married then). I gave him a choice then it was me or the drugs and alcohol, he chose the latter. I told him to call me when he was clean and sober in 2 years (I waited for him). Well, he did, but he wasn't. We split for good and I went...

usedtobeanyer · usedtobeanyer

Hello, one thing I am struggling with as time passes by is my anger & frustration. I can't help but feel so angry towards my wife when she drinks. I'm trying to learn to hide it and trying to keep it under control. But I'm finding it is becoming harder and harder as time goes by. Even if my wife doesn't dr...

soozin12 · soozin12

I am just starting ALAnon and have the courage to change book, I just feel at a loss on how to even make any changes. I live with my AH and his 3 children (I have no children of my own). I just learned AH quit his job today-he "couldn't handle it" any more. That is all the explanation given and if I ev...

Hopeless · Hopeless

Nothing has really improved with my situation but I realize that I need to give Alanon 100% or order to work on myself..............I lost touch! I'm going to HAVE to start going to face to face it's the only way at this point! My A still is drinking and it's getting worse we are still NOT together but ...

oscarmom · oscarmom

from the alcoholic's perpective I mean Made direct amends to such people wherever possible, except when to do so would injure them or others. maybe its because over many years my husband, like most a's, made a career out of lying. most of it revolved around drinking of course. but what if there were dru...

hfrush · hfrush

Hello everyone! My name is Hilary I am 29 years old and I have a 1 year old son. I am the daughter of an alcoholic. My mother has drank from as far back as I can remember. When I was younger I can remember my mother sleeping all day long while I took care of my younger brother and the house, the only time she wo...

stephaniej · stephaniej

So my AH was home this weekend, and we had a lovely weekend. He had a few beers here and there, and I think I did a good job of not expressing any opinion, verbal or nonverbal, about him drinking. He was never drunk. Then this morning he took the dog for a walk before he had to leave again. While he was gone,...

tlcate · tlcate

Things have been a challenge lately - to say the least. Nothing "bad" - everyone is healthy and loving each other which is what is most important. Purchasing my first home and running into a lot of challenges - especially having the motivation and energy to keep pushing forward. So a frie...

shyspouse · shyspouse

Been married to AH for 25 years he is 146 days sober today. Needless to say our marriage had not been strong. I started working on me years ago when I tired of his failed attempts at recovery. This time he went through Hazelden and I attended the family week. I have been feeling great. So nice to have m...

Megthompson · Megthompson

Hi Everyone I have great news to share with you all. I came to this website a couple of months ago and explained there is no Al Anon where I live.So great news, I am getting one started here in Lusaka, Zambia, Africa.I am just so excited.The first meeting will be Friday 5th November.We have support from Al...

this too shall pass · this too shall pass

Hi, i have been feeling terrible for the last month... my AH has been sober and attending meetings for a little over a year now and i know how difficult it is for them.. when we go out he always tells me it is okay if i want to drink.. even gets me a drink often.. he doen't liek being at home even thoug now a days i...

mjhyankees · mjhyankees

I understand (even if I find it hard to practice) detachment, loving oneself, gratitude etc. But there are some questions that show for me, how I'll have to come to terms with some concepts at some point: 1. Where does ambition fit in? How can one be detached, grateful etc and still feel that drive. ...

Bambina10 · Bambina10

My AH has been very committed to sobriety and AA meetings for the last approx 2 months, attending 3 to 4 times a week. He looks healthy, self confident, almost cocky. He's been financially broke for the last 6 mos because of bad financial moves (consequence of his addiction). He still display...

Imogen421 · Imogen421

Hi all, I feel I'm "disappearing" into Al anon reading, reading on alcoholism and being online and on these boards searching, reading, searching, and posting as an escape or attempt to find an answer that isn't there (yet). Or like I want to find an exact replica of myself out there somewhe...

AnnaM · AnnaM

Hi, I would really like to find some double winner meetings in the OC area. Hoping to find some in HB, NB, CM, FV those kind of areas... Please share any info you have or if there is a website for this kind of info. Thank you! Anna -- Edited by AnnaM on Friday 17th of July 2009 12:23:17 PM

member922 · member922

I am finally learning to live and let live as far as my addict bf. I didn't think I could stay with him because I didn't agree with his lifestyle. I thought my only peace would come when he was out of my life. We do have some good times and I don't have to give that up. From my reading, I now understand that he...

maresie · maresie

My biological family was alcoholic. My mother stocked up alcohol for weeks and weeks before the holidays. My younger sister has pictures of my father totally smashed holidng a bottle. I know that environment set me up to tolerate and to be obsessed around alcoholics on the holidays. The ex AH rel...

JadeM · JadeM

As a newcomer, I really need to understand what my relationship is to the addicted person in my life, and why it is the way it is. I tried going to a meeting in NYC, but no matter how much I raised my hand, it was very clubby and I didn't get picked. I was desperate to share. Yet people would go on and on about t...

DreamsOver · DreamsOver

And for sharing things that help and has helped each of you. I wish I good give each and everyone of you a great big ((((((hug))))). Wonderful, loving people here. Dreams

Holly09 · Holly09

I have not been here in a while, up until recently things have been good. 2 weeks ago my boyfriends dad was diagnosed with a brain tumor, they think it's his renal cancer has come back from 9 yrs ago. They can operate and hopefully get the whole tumor and he is very positive as so am I. My boyfriend on the o...

Topic		Started By	Replies	Views	Last Post
	Preparing for the weekend (Preview) My older kids will be with their dad this weekend, so it will just be me and the baby. I'm trying to make enough plans for the weekend so that I stay sufficiently occupied with things other than my obsession. I will NOT text and call my AH obsessively, trying to create "opportunities" for him t...	stephaniej	8	881	Nov 6, 2010 by Ness
	First Meeting (Preview) and it didn't go the way I expected = ( It was voting time and they were having elections = ( Someone did come up to me and explained that it wasn't a typical meeting and to please come back next Wednesday so that is what I'm going to do....	Hopeless	3	435	Nov 6, 2010 by Andrea12
	Business Meeting Sunday November 7th at 9pmest (Preview) Business Meeting Sunday, Agenda Meeting Schedule Vote for room preditor If you have anything you would like added to the agenda please contact me. Thanks Kerry (aka kerisha)	kerry5	0	321	Nov 5, 2010 by kerry5
	How do you brush it off? (Preview) Today my mother made it her mission to make me feel like the lowest piece of scum this planet has ever seen. I have been called so many names today and have been told that I am a terrible, selfish person.Even though I am hurting I know that she didn't really mean what she said to me but still I am finding it ha...	hfrush	11	1307	Nov 5, 2010 by mjhyankees
	It's all my fault (Preview) I got a scolding letter from my brother today. He said that I "served him up to his PO", and therefore he will get the extended time in Jail becuase of what my dad and I told his PO. He's mad that I didn't lie about his drinking. Let the silent treatment begin.	NCSUgeology	8	522	Nov 5, 2010 by canadianguy
	Owning what I want.... (Preview) I am working really hard, and have come to step 4 but haven't tackled it yet, or embraced it or whatever you want to say. The thing is, the person I do photography with, the person I invited to work with me in my business is causing me to relapse a bit. I asked her to work with me. Then I allowed her to take ov...	sunflowergirl	8	729	Nov 5, 2010 by xeno59
	Simple question--how do you respond when your spouse or whomever is drunk? (Preview) One thing I'm still confused about is how to respond when I find my wife drunk (hasn't happened in a while, fortunately!). For a while I just sort of thought I would ignore it; now I'm wondering if that does more harm than good. My thoughts at this point are--don't say anything while they are drunk, when t...	usedtobeanyer	12	948	Nov 5, 2010 by xeno59
	Feel Like Breaking Down... (Preview) After 9 days of sobriety, my AH relapsed -- HARD. The sobriety came from him being on such a long, hard binge that his body literally started breaking down. He has blood pressure and cholesterol issues as it is and has been an alcoholic for over 20 years (sometimes worse than others). He got scared th...	sunshinemama	5	507	Nov 5, 2010 by xeno59
	Feeling......just oK.....but that's ok..... (Preview) Never feel particularly joyful these days but there's been no negatives to speak of and there have been some moments, even hours of enjoyment here and there. Exercising at night has been good. It clears my head and tires me out for bedtime. I've been a little more productive with somethings too, n...	mjhyankees	3	815	Nov 5, 2010 by xeno59
	Dont know where to turn, first time post please help (Preview) Hi this is going to be a long post so I hope someone will take the time to read it and help me. I have been Married for the past year and a half and I have been with him nearly 5 years. I feel like I have married 2 people 1 who I adore the most amazing kind hearted man I have ever met and the other I cant even stomach. H...	furno78	7	980	Nov 5, 2010 by xeno59
	What should I do? :'( (Preview) Hey everyone. I really appreciate all the help and support I have recieved from all of you. I have been struggling a lot these past couple days. I broke up with my addict boyfriend of about a year yesterday because he started using again. I have found it so hard to stay away from him and not talk to him. He li...	Brookiebabe222	5	806	Nov 5, 2010 by xeno59
	confused wife---need some advice!!!!!!!help (Preview) I've been married for about 8 years now, my husband prior to us getting married he was addicted to drugs, but I was so naive that I decided to continue and see if he would give up the drug. during the 8 years have been a battle with that addiction. I decided to separate back in early this year, but we only ende...	wife2010	6	753	Nov 5, 2010 by DreamXL
	please help- have I been banned from the chat room?? Kerisha?? (Preview) My aka is "carmen"; I have been working this program over a year and am not a spammer. Have I been banned because my web connection appears similar to someone who spammed? Or, is there a reason why the MIP website does not want me here? I am panicking because I rely so heavily on MIP for help. I...	bud	7	921	Nov 5, 2010 by Christy
	So much mental and emotional pain. (Preview) Things around here have been awful since Sat. My A boyfriends dad was diagnosed with a brain tumor so we are waiting to hear about treatment. My bfriend lost his mom 2yrs ago to cancer and his younger brother in February to cancer so he is having a hard time and has started therapy. He hasn't been drink...	Holly09	2	797	Nov 4, 2010 by lyndebi
	Trying to fight off negative thoughts..... (Preview) Was walking the dog, everything was ok and the mind started thinking all the negative thoughts again (I'm not good at enough at________, I'll never get out from under debt, my house looks like crap etc.).....hopefully someday this won't happen. I'm fighting it best I can, I'm going to try to exerci...	mjhyankees	8	930	Nov 4, 2010 by Jerry F
	My own relapse (Preview) Yesterday my AH told me his crew would be working 10 hours. I sent a message to the wife of the family he's staying with (the husband is working with my AH), commenting how I was glad they were working 10, since it would give my AH less time to sit around their house feeling sorry for himself. I realize and ac...	stephaniej	10	901	Nov 4, 2010 by Jerry F
	New/Questions (Preview) Just want to give a little of my history and then ask a couple of questions. I have a history of "falling in love" and trusting addicts of one type or another. I married at 18 an alcoholic, who at the time I didn't realize one. He left when I was 22. Visited Al Anon meetings with his mom but did...	clteach	4	481	Nov 4, 2010 by clteach
	I did? (Preview) First I came, Then I came to belive! Then I thought with my head( jeez I had loads of practice doing that! Now it's moving down to my heart (GULP), AND I am multy tasking, thinking and doing, does the thinking ever stop? is it like riding a bike Jerry F, you will know, x everyone xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx ((((hug...	Katy	2	615	Nov 4, 2010 by sunflowergirl
	Feeling a little anxiety (Preview) Before recovery, I took on other people's emotions like they were my own - particularly the alcoholic's emotions. If the alcoholic was happy, I was happy. If the alcoholic was depressed, I was depressed. If the alcoholic was drunk, I was just as crazy even if I was sober. Even today it's hard - albei...	White Rabbit	4	701	Nov 4, 2010 by sunflowergirl
	Releasing the pause button! (Preview) Three years ago my husband and I stopped living any kind of normal life. Its as if the pause button was pressed and we waited for normal service to resume. It was a slow decline for us over the years to reach this stage but the disease of alcoholism is patient, cunning, baffling and powerful and slowly ove...	Ness	9	817	Nov 4, 2010 by sunflowergirl
	Humour (Preview) A man is stopped by police at midnight and asked, where is he going? I am on the way to a lecture on the effects of alcohol and drugs abuse on the human body, the policeman say's really? and who is going to give a lecture at this time of night? My WIFE!	Katy	3	514	Nov 4, 2010 by tiredtonite
	I am a complete mess (Preview) My boyfriend of almost a year is an addict. He was clean for six months then he relapsed. He has been using on and off since then, which was about three weeks ago. We have broken up and gotten back together a couple times in those past few weeks. I just love him so much and I know that he is capable of stopp...	Brookiebabe222	7	478	Nov 4, 2010 by sunflowergirl
	Building resentments.... (Preview) Hi all, My AH has been sober now for a little over 2 months since his last relapse. He's working his program and doing all the things he needs to do in his recovery. I'm trying to do the same. My problem is that I am still have resentments toward him for the messes he has caused that are still affecting our lif...	stopandchat	3	803	Nov 4, 2010 by kitty
	Another detachment question (Preview) I'd really love to hear how people in the group have handled this issue: I am struggling with trying to control my AH and certain situations. I am struggling with the line between setting boundaries (necessary for my own emotional well being) and trying to control (which just creates more heartache...	stephaniej	5	760	Nov 4, 2010 by pineapple
	New Here (Preview) Hi Everyone, I am new here and need support. I have been married 11 years and just recently, in May to June, my husband went away to a rehab. He job intervened and we had a full intervention and he went to rehab. About three weeks later, he was drinking again. I have trouble because I constantly feel convi...	mmitche2	5	410	Nov 4, 2010 by pineapple
	Hi all (Preview) Hi all, been away polishing the tools, keeping the focus on me by minding my own business and renewing my strength and courage in the room. I feel better and stronger and have locked the poor mes back in their box! Although I havent been posting I have been with you all every day reading all the posts and i...	Ness	5	439	Nov 4, 2010 by Ness
	Procrastination (Preview) I could really use so help getting unstuck from my self defeating habit of continually procrastinating. I have been coming here and reading everyones posts for a few weeks and it seems to help my mood but I seem to really be lacking in the action department. I seem to still spend alot of time in my head, t...	Ginger90	6	1259	Nov 3, 2010 by maire rua
	Attended my first Meeting (Preview) I was finally able to attend my first in-person meeting yesterday. In some ways it was uncomfortable and overwhelming, surrounded by strangers and not fully knowing how the meeting would be structured or what it would involve. But of course, everyone was open and welcoming. I chose to "pas...	stephaniej	6	435	Nov 3, 2010 by SteppingUp
	Blah (Preview) Mini fourth step and sometimes the results just really stink. Have a lot going on - but in the middle of it I feel a discomfort that doesn't belong - that bad apple making the rest of a difficult situation even worse. So I sit down with pen and paper and start writing. Jeeeez. Denial, it sure is a comfortab...	tlcate	6	841	Nov 3, 2010 by glad lee
	What's in a SMILE? How can I SMILE when I am going through so much sadness? (Preview) Stress released Miraculous cure in the melting of the ice, stress, negative...whatever of the moment Invocation of others to SMILE in response Love of self in that moment of appreciation of something positive Emotional tonic and the release of Endorphins in the body. So how can I SMILE when I am goin...	Suzannah	5	922	Nov 3, 2010 by shellyj123
	Another meeting question (Preview) So I have attended 2 meetings now. The first was very interesting, not so much the content, but the learning of the way it works. The first was about the 10th step or something like that. And the one last night was about the 11th step or practice or whatever they call it. I am just beginning with this and t...	member922	6	947	Nov 3, 2010 by member922
	Last night's meeting (Preview) I had such an interesting experience at the face to face Al Anon meeting I attended last night. First, I'm still a beginner so I attended the beginner's meeting, which is a short meeting before the main meeting. Last night was my 4th meeting so I don't really feel like a beginner anymore but I still find...	usedtobeanyer	5	488	Nov 3, 2010 by abbyal
	Getting some answers..... (Preview) Sometimes I know myself so well. And of course sometimes i'm clueless. The questions I posted and pondered the other night was helpful. I've conclude that I can be happy WHILE I'm striving, searching, hoping and dreaming. That I can still do those things and be happy BEFORE anything comes to fruit...	mjhyankees	4	417	Nov 3, 2010 by ythannah
	Question about kids with a parent who is drinking (Preview) Hi all, I believe I've raised this issue in the past but I'd like to raise it again as I'm becoming more and more uncomfortable with this concept and it's causing me some conflict in really putting the Al Anon methods into practice. To recap, my wife is attending AA but still actively drinking. Not on a da...	usedtobeanyer	11	880	Nov 3, 2010 by Ness
	It's still working me...and I love it! (Preview) I've been doing some thinking lately, something I hate to do....mirror time, and I am not always gentle on myself when it comes to that. Still waiting on news of my Uncle, praying and trying to turn it over, but having trouble doing so again....always find myself taking it back. My HP and I "yo yo&...	shellyj123	3	720	Nov 3, 2010 by Katy
	being careful what we wish for (Preview) As many of you may know, I've had some large challenges that are weighing me down. So, I've been praying and praying for my HP to give me the wisdom and strength to manage them; I've also prayed for my HP to take them from me. Well, this morning is a distraction, all right! First I'm locked out of MIP, then...	bud	3	806	Nov 2, 2010 by Jerry F
	CAn't feel? (Preview) I was walking the dog tonight, a beautiful clear starry night...you could see stars behind stars it was so clear..you know the clusters of stars you don't normally see. Anyway while I intellectually recognized it as beautiful....I couldn't feel much at all! I should have been IMO moved and mildy e...	mjhyankees	5	660	Nov 2, 2010 by mjhyankees
	7 year old thinks she may be like mama when she`s older. (Preview) Well everytime I think I have heard more than I can bare. All I have to do is wait for another day lately. I had my gd 5 days last week and I felt good about that. Knowing she was getting norishment and dressed properly and spent enough time on her reading which she has difficulty with and her mother is suppo...	Samsgram	4	424	Nov 2, 2010 by Samsgram
	Going Crazy...... (Preview) It's been a very long time since I have been on this website. I went to my first face to face meeting this morning, so I have been thinking a lot about this program. I actually told my boss and coworkers that I had a doctor appointment, but went to an Alanon meeting. My story is that my husband is a type 1 di...	helpme08	3	1011	Nov 2, 2010 by Jerry F
	Question about Detaching (Preview) Conceptually, I understand how detachment works with respect to my AH. My question is more about how it works when it comes to talking/venting about my problems with loved ones. On the one hand, it helps to be open with people about my struggles. But on the other hand, when I talk about the challenge...	stephaniej	4	454	Nov 2, 2010 by White Rabbit
	Don't want to go on (Preview) I met my husband over 25 years ago when he was actively drinking (we were not married then). I gave him a choice then it was me or the drugs and alcohol, he chose the latter. I told him to call me when he was clean and sober in 2 years (I waited for him). Well, he did, but he wasn't. We split for good and I went...	dollmininut	12	945	Nov 2, 2010 by sunflowergirl
	Having a hard time with my anger & frustration (Preview) Hello, one thing I am struggling with as time passes by is my anger & frustration. I can't help but feel so angry towards my wife when she drinks. I'm trying to learn to hide it and trying to keep it under control. But I'm finding it is becoming harder and harder as time goes by. Even if my wife doesn't dr...	usedtobeanyer	13	768	Nov 2, 2010 by oklahoma momof5
	What to do when AH says "pick me up beer" (Preview) I am just starting ALAnon and have the courage to change book, I just feel at a loss on how to even make any changes. I live with my AH and his 3 children (I have no children of my own). I just learned AH quit his job today-he "couldn't handle it" any more. That is all the explanation given and if I ev...	soozin12	8	856	Nov 2, 2010 by SteppingUp
	I'm back.... (Preview) Nothing has really improved with my situation but I realize that I need to give Alanon 100% or order to work on myself..............I lost touch! I'm going to HAVE to start going to face to face it's the only way at this point! My A still is drinking and it's getting worse we are still NOT together but ...	Hopeless	5	589	Nov 2, 2010 by Hopeless
	anyone else dislike step 9? (Preview) from the alcoholic's perpective I mean Made direct amends to such people wherever possible, except when to do so would injure them or others. maybe its because over many years my husband, like most a's, made a career out of lying. most of it revolved around drinking of course. but what if there were dru...	oscarmom	10	1123	Nov 2, 2010 by kitty
	Hello All (Preview) Hello everyone! My name is Hilary I am 29 years old and I have a 1 year old son. I am the daughter of an alcoholic. My mother has drank from as far back as I can remember. When I was younger I can remember my mother sleeping all day long while I took care of my younger brother and the house, the only time she wo...	hfrush	5	442	Nov 2, 2010 by sunflowergirl
	Having a hard time (Preview) So my AH was home this weekend, and we had a lovely weekend. He had a few beers here and there, and I think I did a good job of not expressing any opinion, verbal or nonverbal, about him drinking. He was never drunk. Then this morning he took the dog for a walk before he had to leave again. While he was gone,...	stephaniej	5	767	Nov 2, 2010 by sunflowergirl
	This is not "turn yourself into a robot" program (Preview) Things have been a challenge lately - to say the least. Nothing "bad" - everyone is healthy and loving each other which is what is most important. Purchasing my first home and running into a lot of challenges - especially having the motivation and energy to keep pushing forward. So a frie...	tlcate	10	803	Nov 2, 2010 by sunflowergirl
	New - need support (Preview) Been married to AH for 25 years he is 146 days sober today. Needless to say our marriage had not been strong. I started working on me years ago when I tired of his failed attempts at recovery. This time he went through Hazelden and I attended the family week. I have been feeling great. So nice to have m...	shyspouse	5	435	Nov 2, 2010 by Cloudsea
	VERY EXCITING AND GREAT NEWS, AL ANON IN AFRICA (Preview) Hi Everyone I have great news to share with you all. I came to this website a couple of months ago and explained there is no Al Anon where I live.So great news, I am getting one started here in Lusaka, Zambia, Africa.I am just so excited.The first meeting will be Friday 5th November.We have support from Al...	Megthompson	7	555	Nov 2, 2010 by Megthompson
	I drink... (Preview) Hi, i have been feeling terrible for the last month... my AH has been sober and attending meetings for a little over a year now and i know how difficult it is for them.. when we go out he always tells me it is okay if i want to drink.. even gets me a drink often.. he doen't liek being at home even thoug now a days i...	this too shall pass	10	1216	Nov 2, 2010 by this too shall pass
	Some questions I'm going to have to resolve....... (Preview) I understand (even if I find it hard to practice) detachment, loving oneself, gratitude etc. But there are some questions that show for me, how I'll have to come to terms with some concepts at some point: 1. Where does ambition fit in? How can one be detached, grateful etc and still feel that drive. ...	mjhyankees	7	532	Nov 1, 2010 by mjhyankees
	Did I trigger my AH relapse..? (Preview) My AH has been very committed to sobriety and AA meetings for the last approx 2 months, attending 3 to 4 times a week. He looks healthy, self confident, almost cocky. He's been financially broke for the last 6 mos because of bad financial moves (consequence of his addiction). He still display...	Bambina10	8	488	Nov 1, 2010 by abbyal
	getting "addicted" / obsessed with alanon (and other) concerns? (Preview) Hi all, I feel I'm "disappearing" into Al anon reading, reading on alcoholism and being online and on these boards searching, reading, searching, and posting as an escape or attempt to find an answer that isn't there (yet). Or like I want to find an exact replica of myself out there somewhe...	Imogen421	9	705	Nov 1, 2010 by lyndebi
	LOOKING FOR DOUBLE WINNER MEETINGS (Preview) Hi, I would really like to find some double winner meetings in the OC area. Hoping to find some in HB, NB, CM, FV those kind of areas... Please share any info you have or if there is a website for this kind of info. Thank you! Anna -- Edited by AnnaM on Friday 17th of July 2009 12:23:17 PM	AnnaM	8	8740	Nov 1, 2010 by Bev4Hope
	Learning detachment, I love it!! (Preview) I am finally learning to live and let live as far as my addict bf. I didn't think I could stay with him because I didn't agree with his lifestyle. I thought my only peace would come when he was out of my life. We do have some good times and I don't have to give that up. From my reading, I now understand that he...	member922	5	443	Nov 1, 2010 by member922
	the holidays with an alcoholic (Preview) My biological family was alcoholic. My mother stocked up alcohol for weeks and weeks before the holidays. My younger sister has pictures of my father totally smashed holidng a bottle. I know that environment set me up to tolerate and to be obsessed around alcoholics on the holidays. The ex AH rel...	maresie	8	906	Nov 1, 2010 by Ness
	I'm a Newcomer to Alanon; This is 12-Step Right? (Preview) As a newcomer, I really need to understand what my relationship is to the addicted person in my life, and why it is the way it is. I tried going to a meeting in NYC, but no matter how much I raised my hand, it was very clubby and I didn't get picked. I was desperate to share. Yet people would go on and on about t...	JadeM	6	439	Nov 1, 2010 by sunflowergirl
	Thank You All For Caring... (Preview) And for sharing things that help and has helped each of you. I wish I good give each and everyone of you a great big ((((((hug))))). Wonderful, loving people here. Dreams	DreamsOver	3	704	Nov 1, 2010 by sunflowergirl
	that bad place keeps creeping up on me (Preview) I have not been here in a while, up until recently things have been good. 2 weeks ago my boyfriends dad was diagnosed with a brain tumor, they think it's his renal cancer has come back from 9 yrs ago. They can operate and hopefully get the whole tumor and he is very positive as so am I. My boyfriend on the o...	Holly09	5	372	Nov 1, 2010 by sunflowergirl
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The material presented here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method to exchange information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal level.