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Ok. I have not been very religious during my life, nor very spiritual. I have been doing a lot of the Al-Anon reading and I seem to be struggling with the higher power stuff.
How do you realize a higher power? I guess I don't really understand this. I am trying to "just live" and let happen. Is this on the right track? Does it mean to quit trying to control?
Any thoughts on this? I'm sure any kind of information would help. I really feel lost. Like how do I turn things over to a higher power? What kind of things? And how? I have to live and make choices. What does it all mean?
Wow!! and of course Aloha...no offense on that post at all at least not from this Family Group member...I had trouble at first also with the Higher Power issue. I was all up in my head because I had alot of focused religious education before I found the doors of Al-Anon. Of course none of that worked much because coming to believe and turning my will and my life over to the care of a Power greater than m y s e l f is not a thinking thing but a doing thing.
I had to work on the slogan "Act as if" at first just to get the thing out of my head and into my feet. I came to believe after I did and not after I thought. When I stopped fighting it and trying to get it right I just surrendered to what others believed and did and said "Okay God if you're here and you're real, you got all of me." On a daily basis I acted as if God...my higher power of my own understanding...(name isn't even spelled God) was around me and I was with him/her...he/she...it...Father, Creator 24/7, the connection was made and I now believe that it wasn't so much me that made the connection but that God made it with me. I was open entirely and willing entirely and then I felt the touch and heard the voice and the first thing I said was, "I am afraid".
The relationship has grown...I am the student. I listen, learn and follow thru. God often uses other people, places and things to direct me so I no longer attempt to limit this God of my understanding. Many of my Higher Power's instruments have come thru the Al-Anon (spiritual) program and it's membership.
How grand a question this is. I wanna hear the rest of the MIP fellowship jump into this one...taking notes. Mahalo (((((hugs)))))
Member, I cannot give you an answer - I can only confide that I, too, have struggled with this. I was brought up to believe in God. Around the time I was confirmed into the Church (of England) I thought I knew all the answers (at the age of 14!!). However, as I have grown older (and wiser, maybe) I have questioned how/why my God would allow all the pain and suffering in the world - and it's mostly the innocent who endure the pain and suffering. BUT - I am not a total agnostic - I do believe that somehow, there is a higher power than ourselves. An HP who is unique to us. Someone we must answer to, someone who understands who we are and what we are going through. I have no rationale for this - just a feeling which, if I didn't hang on to, there would be no point to anything. In the chat room linked to this board I said I did not think my HP would approve of me - I am full of flaws - am certainly not perfect and have done/do things of which an HP would not approve. The answer - you need to invent your own HP! So I thought my HP would be loving, forgive me my imperfections and envelop me in love and caring. THAT seemed to work!
This is a very convoluted reply but it is a difficult question which has no easy answer. You have to realise what is right for you. Sometimes it does help, when you know nothing you can physically do to change things, to just turn it over to your HP - or if that becomes too difficult to believe - simply leave it to fate.
FOR ME, when I 1st started into al-anon, I too was VERY confused to "Who Or What" my Higher Power (HP) was...
I ask someone at my meeting once and they said, "My" HP could be anything.. It could be the God of my understanding, it could be something that keeps my focus, or keeps me coming back...it could be a Stick If I wanted it too.. (chuckle at the thought)
For the longest time, My HP was My Home Face to Face Group... ;) When i was Struggling they would lift me back up, and when I had questions they gave me there thoughts, never advising, just sharing their experiences and there support, they would call me on the phone to check on me, they were just there for me...
When i got to MIP there was a hand full as well that had that power over me, they just helped guide me to be my own person, to stop trying to "Save the World" and keep my focus on me... The More I learned that "Other Peoples Problems Are Non Of My Business" I slowly began to see the working of my HP (as I Now Call God)
I Personally had to just slowly work my way into the 12 steps, I still haven't mastered any part of the program, but I see such an improvement in my everyday life, I have slowly learned that "I" am Powerless over others, but I'm not Powerless over how I take care of me...
For me, I turn to my HP daily, and I Repeat the "Serenity Prayer" every time I feel the overload of stress coming my way... this seems to help me understand it better... But this is just my take, Reading the Lit, is a blessing as well, I have learned so much from the books of al-anon, If you can get your hands on the "Al-Anon Big Red Book" I have been reading it, and I think its wonderful :)
Example of Me Handing it over: I have an Abrother that is 30 years old, has no license to drive, because of countless DUI/DWI and could very easily go and get them back... He has to go "Re-apply" but he don't want to do it, because he has become quite comfortable allowing others to haul him around... (Serenity Prayer)
God... Grant me the Serenity to accept the things I "Can not Change" (My Brother or his need to use others) The Courage to change the things I can (Running him all over) and the Wisdom to know the Differance...
This is how I work on handing it over, you will be amazed at how many things you can fill in that Prayer that is beyond Our control, yet we Keep Trying them Over and Over again...
A Wise Friend once told me "If Nothing Changes.... NOTHING CHANGES"... Here's hope you find your Change you are Looking for ;)
I'm glad your Here, Keep Coming back... Please take what you like and leave the rest, hope I Helped :) Friends In Recovery :) Jozie
Thanks you for all of the view points. I think I am kind of getting the idea.
I like the "act as if". I notice how true that is. The more I am living rather than thinking, the better life is. I like the creating of my own, then I don't feel like I am having something shoved down my throat. I like the idea of filling in the serenity prayer. I don't really know many prayers, but I am learning this one rather quickly. I think with some practice, I just might be able to do this.
The comment about the Stick reminded me of some silly thing that I do believe in. Maybe I can call that my HP. Nothing is too silly, right? As long as it works, right?
Thanks for sharing. I really appreciate the guidance.
Your questions is a really deep and fundamental one, the understanding of it is the foundation stone of your success. You alone will form a concept in your understanding and come to identify the higher power of your understanding.
Take oneself out of the world control seat and one soon realises that everything that one does has a consequence, and that there must be a force, a power greater than oneself in this universe that keeps this world spinning.
Reaching out for that force, power, which for me is the God of my understanding, means one is not left struggling alone or in weakness and misunderstanding to try to control the whole world and everyone in it.
I alone can change ME, I alone by changing my focus, attitude, response, behaviour can take control of ME and ME alone and I can do this by harnessing this God of my understanding to me.
In my opinion The Serenity Prayer is the best form in which to come to an understanding of one's higher power to strengthen self. It means that by my choices I can change a situation for ME so that I have control of ME in that moment and I can only do this by holding on to the fact that I am one part of this universe, which has been put together by a power far greater than me. My logic for this is, if that power can complete such a project then there must be something/one greater than the sum of the parts.
I am but one part whilst that power is the sum of the parts, (and this is my own opinion and my own choice), that points to the God of the Serenity Prayer, to be my higher power though I chose to name that higher power personally as GOD.
This then becomes a personal relationship that I can rely upon and relate to above all other relationships. One that becomes real in power and strength and wisdom, which I acknowledge is greater than myself.
The concept of a higher power becomes real once one has learnt to trust a power greater than oneself to guide you through your every day.
No offence taken and hopefully no offence given. This is my understand of the higher power that is spoken of in Al-anon and the reference to the GOD of that Serenity Prayer and many other lifelines that have been tools of Al-anon from the day of Al-anon's conception.
Take time to feel comfortable with your perception and then form a concept of your own and find that God (higher power) of The Serenity Prayer for yourself. In the meantime, keep coming back and know that this family cares and shares your experiences and their own experiences in love and mutual respect.
Suzannah
God Bless
__________________
Out of the ruin of my past I have found the fortress of myself and I know how to defend it.
Strive for WISDOM; Seek SERENITY; NEVER compromise your INTEGRITY.
Thank you so much for posting this question. I think that there are a lot of us here who truly need and will benefit from the 12 steps but have difficulty relating to a supernatural god.
I recently found a book that I plan on reading which addresses this issue. "The Zen of Recovery" by Mel Ash. Reviewers say that it helped them how to find a 'God' of their own understanding.
That is the most amazing thing about this program. Your HP can be anything you want it to be. Any being or force that is more powerful than you And no you did not offend anyone We are a world wide organization HP is different for all of us. My HP is God. But not the God I grew up with, that was drilled into my head. I found my own God For some people it is Mother Nature I have heard some people new in recovery and having your same struggle use the alanon group as thier HP. This person gave the anology of if he wanted to move his couch downstairs and outside he could not do it alone but if assembled a group of people together they had much more strenght and working together they could move the couch easily. So i really wouldn't stress about your question to much right now. I think in time your answers will come. Blessings
It started thinking about my HP anf how I "Came to Believe" as in the Second Step.
When I arrived at the doors of alanon I too was very angry with God of my childhood and refused to consider any belief system. My sponser asked if I thought that alanon tools and meetings were a power greater than myself. i agreed that it was ,and so my first true belief in a Higher Pwere was born.
Keeping an open mind I eventually found a higher power that I could trust and believe in. I knew that I did not trust the HP of my childhood simply because he did not do MY WILL and I could not understand His.
I now define my My Higher Poweras: Perfect Love, Wisdom, Knowledge, Health Beauty.
Each day I use my alanon tools of Daily Reading , prayer mediation gratitude list and ask for Hp's will for me. Then I proceed to do my work. If during the day I find myself getting annoyed or upset I Say the serenity prayer and ask HP to guide me Program has taught me that it does not have to be my way. I can learn to exist in the world as one among many and that is my rightful place.
Letting go of my will enables me to have courage serenity and wisdom and still show up for what is important to me.
Program is a process . Take what you like and leave the rest
-- Edited by hotrod on Wednesday 27th of October 2010 02:42:55 PM
I read and reread this thread to help me understand the different meanings.
I think I have come up with something to believe in. The other night, while I was not being able to sleep with racing thoughts, I realized that there is someone/something that I can hand off to.
So I guess for now, I am taking the things I cannot change and telling my HP to handle them. I don't know if this is the usual way this works, but I know in time I will grow. I am learning as I go along, and for that I thank you all for helping by sharing.
After struggling with this myself for a while after joining this program , I listened to a tape where the speaker spoke of her search for a Higher Power , after looking and reading everything in site she found in the bible one line that said * Be still and know that I am here* when i heard that I knew I could do that I didnt have to define it or explain it I just knew there was something out there alot more powerful than i was . slowly over the yrs I have a HP who I choose to call God . I still dont understand him but he seems to understand me and I always get what I need not necessarily what I want . sometimes the answer to a prayer is NO . easy does it works .. others in program said they went with Good Orderly Direction = God or just do the next right thing . thank goodness Al-Anon allows us to be here whether we believe or not and we dont have to justify our beliefs to anyone ..
Hi Member922, Higher power? Well what has helped me to come to believe in a power greater than myself is faith. God's will versus my will, I always battled with this question how do I know when I am doing God's will , or Higher Power's will, well I believe that I got my answer, which is Higher Power's will for me is to be joyful will all matters (Acceptance), choose to be happy no matter what; Continuous prayer with higher power, my understanding always communicate with higher power with all matters, and to be grateful (gratitude list). This has given me serenity. The slogan keep it simple has helped me. This higher power is love.
