The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
I used to think it was a destination we just arrived at and stayed there, and I thought it was a place and it just would happen lol, I was always just expsecting it to just show up because I deserved it, I was so full of concete, hadn't I earned my right to be happy, wasn't my suffering worse than anyone else's, this is how I felt and I waited and waisted many a good day wallowing in self pity and sank further because I didn't know any other way, and then, I got sick and tired of feeling stuck and I found alanon, and I followed suggestions and realised I was my own problem, I was such a controller, and of course I couldn't control everything and so many days were just full of despair, I am still a controller but I learnt self control, thats all I needed to learn, I go about my days trying to apply myself to life now as apposed to trying to fit life around me, I was also a bit of a loner, I still am really, but I love now that I take the time to listen and process what is said to me, and a wonderful thing has happened, I have started to appreciate the gifts of others, they help me learn to be a better me, I equate happiness now to sunny days', sometimes I have rainy days, and sometimes challenging windy days, the windy days are the worse because their strong and you can have wind and rain too, but no matter, beacuse then we get the calm after the storm, and the sun starts to shine again always x
It's good to hear....I wish I felt that way......I have moments but generally I feel screwed.....sounds like you were there once. I'm trying everything I can but somehow it doesnt' quite sink in.
x