The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
The holidays have always been a difficult time for me. They are creeping up on me and for once rather than leave it to last minute I am making plans. None of them include taking care of anyone but me! What a difference. I remember one holiday making plans and letting them go because my then boyfriend asked me to go to his really dysfunctional parents house! Talk about a receipe for resentment. I had no boundaries then so "no" was not in my vocabulary.
For me its been a long long journey to get to a plan be, through boundary making, making choices even when I didn't like any of them and most of all getting to a place of being responsible for me rather than everyone else but me!
What's also changed is my not being willing to be full of recrimination. Of course I would like to be in a different place financially, socially and otherwise. I'm on the way there and that's enough this year.
Thanks - this really has me thinking about what I'd like to do for myself over the upcoming holidays, too.
My mom is coming to visit over Thanksgiving, and one of my program friends has invited me and a bunch of other program friends to celebrate the day at her place, so I'm happy I get to surround myself with friends on Thanksgiving. I haven't had a joyful Thanksgiving since I moved out here with my exAH, to be honest.
I am wondering what to do about Christmas, though. I'll have to start asking around, maybe. There are a lot of us who've recently gotten divorced so maybe we can all show up for each other. I won't have family around for Christmas.
