Al-Anon Family Group - Al-Anon Family Group

Jerry F · Jerry F

Around the 21st of this month my wife and I were cleaning up stuff...lightening the load because we've collected s t u f f from other times and other places and some of the stuff were old photographs (Dang was she a looker back then and Dang we were a handsome couple LOL). Memories are great huh? .....

sunflowergirl · sunflowergirl

Well some of you may be aware that my ex husband (father of my 8 year old son) is a rage-aholic. To me that means he screams and yells because he is so sad from his own childhood of seeing and hearing his parents scream and yell at each other. I feel as if he goes from to 60 in a second when he gets mad, over the...

Angeliki · Angeliki

Hi- I am posting another question.. I guess this should have been first. My therapist told me that Alanon is for anyone who is bothered by someone else's drinking and doesn't focus on labels. I do understand that. But I guess a big part of my anxiety is whether or not I am right to be worried. My husband say...

pattyann1963 · pattyann1963

my a/drug addict b/f drinks more when he is off work any idle time he has from work is drinking,i stayed 2 days with him and was all the ready to come home he was already acting drunk by the time i left tocome home,my friend told me that i was or i didnt have any sense messing with him,sometimes i think by insan...

Speck · Speck

My former partner who I care for drinks because she was abused by her Father (sexual & violence). Most of the locals who gravitate towards her socially when she is out are also damaged people who drink or have other issues. I have not come across any of her friends who drink just for drinking sake, t...

Data395 · Data395

someone went out of her way to even get to a meeting t his morning. She wasn't even feeling well! no op was there. She led the group in the Serenity prayer and no one execpt myself said "amen." That discouraged her, so she left. Either an op can show up or the group can try to say amen after the Ser...

Angeliki · Angeliki

Hello- I am feeling very desperate at the moment and could not wait until my husband left the house this morning so I could get on here and start typing. I am basically contemplating leaving my husband but he is making me feel like I am crazy for doing it. Here is the story: DH and I met about 7 years ago. I was...

Aloha · Aloha

Hoping some of our double-winners know more about this... I need to purchase a copy of the Big Book - my exAH took the one we had in the house with him (although it's not getting any use). My sponsor requested I keep a copy of the Big Book as part of my own step work in order to understand alcoholism. I read the...

sdisnie · sdisnie

One thing about the principles of Al-anon is that really everyone should use them, not just those who are affected by addicts.....I have totally detached from my A for the time being...mostly because he's been laying low...(Thank God!) but now I'm dealing with a crazy person who is not an A....but co...

clep · clep

I was saddened last night when my A ripped up his AA book and burned it in the fireplace outside. It is only a matter time time until he picks up that first drink again. I have seen him going down this path for several months and he inches closer every day. I guess he quit his program a couple of weeks ago. I...

flinn66 · flinn66

I have noticed that my relationship with my A goes through quite recognisable cycles. On a day to day basis I think I choose to ignore a lot of minor issues that perhaps don't always suit me - but I tend to think 'ok not my way but how important is it?' In doing so it seems that the behaviours of my A become more...

Fallon · Fallon

Hi everyone I can imagine there are lots of new people at this time of the year all with their own heartbreaking stories. I have only just heard of al anon and went to my first and only meeting last week. I went expecting to be given advice on how to help an AH and was stunned at what really took place. So m...

Debilyn · Debilyn

I am up and down. Am doing better at giving it all to HP. I know he will give me the tools to deal with his change in my life. I am looking at it as a new chapter. Familiar always seems easier. But in reality, this place is huge for one person on disability to keep up. I like things tidy and kept up. Its hard, I cann...

sunflowergirl · sunflowergirl

This has never happened before, because I never had alanon before... however, where I work, I am the front desk receptionist for a busy newspaper. A news reporter came down and had a phone conversation right in front of me. She asked the person if they had been drinking. She then told them they coul...

sunflowergirl · sunflowergirl

I hope you are all having a great day :) Merry Christmas and Happy Holidays and Happy new year.... Heres to many serene days

Aloha · Aloha

I've had a couple interesting revelations in the last few days. 1. My ex's brother and mother came out to visit him over the holiday and they wanted to meet up with me and do lunch one day, which I figured would be fine. The ex stayed away because his daughter was going to be there and he's still refusing to t...

anewyear · anewyear

I've packed up and I'm just about to load the car and drive away. The gravity of this move has just hit me and although I am finally taking control of my fates and no longer allowing his disease to rule my life, the pain of what I am losing is hitting me. There was so much potential, so much good that we could h...

Angeliki · Angeliki

I am just wondering something for down the road. My son is only 1. But I worry about how I will explain my husband's drinking to him. My husband does not think he has a problem so its not like he is in a program or something we could jointly explain to our son. I would have to basically go against my husband's w...

kimmy1975 · kimmy1975

The last day of our vacation, AH, the kids, and I went to eat at the restaurant that is located on the first floor of the hotel we stayed at. AH had heard that they brewed their own beer there, and he decided to try it. Without thinking, I shot him a look of disapproval, and he immediately asked what was wro...

eyeswideopen · eyeswideopen

deleted because my husband reads my posts. -- Edited by eyeswideopen on Tuesday 28th of December 2010 10:23:23 AM

clep · clep

I had a fantastic sponsor about a year ago. When my A and I reconcilled I started going to a big book study as I saw a difference it made for him. I met a man who became his sponsor recently and the man's wife that ended up becoming my new sponsor. Things went downhill quickly for me. I was working an AA pro...

clep · clep

I have noticed several times in my readings that I see things in my A that al-anon might be very helpful for. He is really struggling in his program it seems and doesn't get how to fix some things. Upon seeing what he is saying, the things he is speaking of seem to be the things I am learning in my program. ...

tiffany6180 · tiffany6180

Hi, my story is sort of long, but I really need to speak out and relate to others who have gone through what I have. I have been spending the past two nights reading the forums, and thought I would take a moment to post my story. I am a 30 year old women and started dating a man around my same age two years ago. ...

parfait624 · parfait624

Just two weeks ago I was so in love and looking forward to the holidays....and then it happened;again. The story of me and my BF (3yrs sober) is a complicated one. We got involved during a very crazy time in both of our lives. Then three months later I found out I was preggers. I knew him, but I didn't kno...

xeno59 · xeno59

Hi, I just wanted you to know I will be unable to chair this Tuesdays 12/28 morning meeting. As many of you know my brother is dying has last stage liver failure due to HepC contracted when he was a hard core H addict. He is now 13 yrs in recovery. We have now been told he has about a week to live.... of course he...

wifeofalcoholic · wifeofalcoholic

So here it is Christmas Eve. We are about to go to church together. AH has been recovering for several months. I am 99% sure he had some alcohol today. What's the 1%? The fact he hasn't admitted it. Motions, conversations and a change in talking all point to some alcohol. Not drunk but probably ex...

Sincerely · Sincerely

Oh Gosh! It's been a long time since I've been here. All the post are so familiar with what I've been going through with my active AH. I'm married to two men. 1. A loving man who works the program 2. A sick man who is a wreck less jerk Right now, I hate them both! Back to the drawing board for me! No major decis...

Fallon · Fallon

Well this morning my AH asked me mother if he had offended her or been out of order in her home. My mother did the usual and told him not at all, he was fine and welcome any time!!!!!!! I mean can u believe that after the drama she made last night ordering me to come get him. He asked my brother and dad the same th...

liam · liam

I'm new here on this board, and I'm new to alanon as well. I have visited alanon meetings over the past year, mostly when the storm was raging, ( agf was drinking, always a no call no show ) and when it calmed down i didnt come around. I thought that my program would be enough to make it through because, I...

Fallon · Fallon

My first xmas after goin to al anon has been horrendous I have tried to ignore the hiding of drink I have forced myself not to try and hide drink and try and feed him etc etc but he went to the football today with my best pals husband and me and my best pal went and met them in pub afterwards. Both hubbies were...

xosarahox · xosarahox

So once my a decided to become sober so did I. He seems happy that i've decided not to drink or do the things that affect him so negatively. I have no problem giving up drinking, esspecially if it helps me feel closer or more supportive but along with it i've given up a lot of friends and socializing. I'm you...

member922 · member922

today. Made it through the holiday with the Abf. He gave me some nice gifts including diamond earrings. Very special to me, esp after I got the speech that jewelry was overpriced and a waste of money and I wouldn't be getting any. So today while his son was at the relatives, I was trying to come up with fu...

Brookiebabe222 · Brookiebabe222

Hey guys. This is the longest I have gone without posting since I have joined this site. And it's because I'm actually doing well. The struggles are not over, of course, but I'm starting to busy myself more. School is over and I did great on my finals because I had time to study, mostly because the lack of a...

sunflowergirl · sunflowergirl

I am so grateful to HP for helping me get to recovery and this board. For helping me find a great sponsor to help me through. For my job. For the bad days that help me enjoy the good days even more. For the moments when I slip, so that I can quickly come back to recovery. For my bf who is sweet, kind, suppor...

mjhyankees · mjhyankees

I wanted to wish everyone Happy Holidays, whatever holiday it may be, for you and your families. I know how hard this season can be on everyone, expectations run high and so does stress and anxiety. I've found each year, a time of year I used to love has little be little become a drain on me and sometimes...

Bettina · Bettina

Well, I hate to even post this, they have switched the show so many times, but the show on "Parental Abduction" with my daughter and I as guests, will air on 1/4/11. Dr. Phil is on channel 2 in L.A. and his show is on at 4:00, I guess its different in your area. Parental abduction is an important t...

Tracy · Tracy

Hi everyone, hope you all enjoying the holidays. I had a lovely day yesterday and it is my birthday today not feeling very well but I am still feeling very happy. I am currently working on the middle steps 4,5,6,7 and looking in the mirror i quite hard. My hp is bring awareness to me moment to moment. I kn...

scalawag78 · scalawag78

Hi everyone, feeling very confronted by the concept of "dry drunk". I am a stay-at-home-mum in a same-sex relationship with a woman much older than myself. We have been together for nearly ten years and have two small children (who I carried) within the relationship. My partner was alway...

freeagain · freeagain

When my AH and I were both in recovery(him AA me alanon), he would constantly try to compete with me. He would judge my recovery and make comments about my sponsor, my step work and my choice of recovery friends. He would actually go so far as to critique our programs slogans and readings. I generally jus...

lyndebi · lyndebi

I am feeling very scared again. Mortgage advocate called. The mortgage company will want more money the first payment to do the loan mod. I don't know if this will go sour or not. This mortgage company is the worst, so much fraud and lawsuits against it. The thought of all the loss just has me petrified. H...

Loupiness · Loupiness

...change, EVERYTHING CHANGES, with my feelings, thoughts, and contentment being on the top of the list for me right now. I've been wanting to post all week, a story of ESH, but alas, I waited too long, and here I am with a whole different topic feeling the need to get it out, get some feedback and move...

looking_for_peace · looking_for_peace

This might seem like a weird post, but I think the people on here will understand. I have three songs that completely related to my experiences with my alcoholic. In some ways it is depressing, but if anyone has a chance to look them up and listen to the lyrics, I would be curious to know if you could relate...

Diva · Diva

to wish all of my friends here on MIP a serene, happy, and joy-filled Merry Christmas! May the promise of the new year, 2011, bring you all you have hoped for and deserve. My fondest regards to all, Diva

tweety23 · tweety23

ugh i have to work on this... my trying to control it. i told ah i did not want to "do" christmas with his relatives on xmas eve -- which we have done for years but i hate it. as to them christmas is time for a "piss-up" as they call it.i am just tired of ah and everyone else being hungove...

alittle967 · alittle967

Hello My name is Amanda and I am the Adult Child of an Alcoholic mother, I frequently carry the burden of my mothers disease around on my shoulders, and am heading a project for my family to approach my mother with her problems. Here's my storey... Growing up myself and my two sister had a great childhoo...

wp · wp

Merry Christmas and a peaceful new year to all :) wp

sdisnie · sdisnie

Happy Holidays to all of you....and may they bring you peace, joy and happiness. Whatever you strive for individually, I pray that you will find peace in your heart to make it through each day and end it with a smile. Thanks to everyone on here for love, support, advice and kind words. We all couldn'...

Jennifer · Jennifer

Somebody special liked this so much that I am gonna say it again.... originally meant for Thanksgiving but works for this holiday too! Whatever you end up doing, Treat yourself like you would the most honored guest When I am feeling down I look back at this and remember that at least one day I was headed...

Karilynn · Karilynn

(((Family))), Well my nieces have been given a Christmas gift. As many of you know my brother-in-law was busted lasted year for making meth. This was his first offense but because it was a big one the attorneys were pretty sure that he would have to do some time. He has been out on probation doing what...

canadianguy · canadianguy

There have been a lot of recent posts around the frustration of dealing with A's who claim to love us, but aren't really showing this in their actions.... I found this list - compiled by Melody Beattie and Terance Gorski), that gives us many great examples of the differences between "toxic&quo...

White Rabbit · White Rabbit

I've been thinking about this a lot the last couple of days. I injured my back last week when I was putting my 1 year old in his car seat. The car seat was in the middle of the backseat, and I was standing outside the car bent over trying to get him in it. I must've used my lower back to lift him, but as soon as I...

ythannah · ythannah

I'm hoping that the members here will have some words of wisdom to knock some sense into me. For the past couple of weeks, ABF has been going around announcing "I hate Christmas!" and "I hate shopping!", plus telling me that he's feeling depressed. A couple of times he's asked m...

ellarose · ellarose

i went to my first meeting tonight. it started off a little slow and there were only four of us (two newbies), but then the conversation picked up. I am so glad I went. Our stories were all different, but with person there was an element i could identify with and the people who had attended before had good a...

kimmy1975 · kimmy1975

Last night after a day of snowboarding, AH started feeling bad. He said he had a sore throat, was achy and had chills. He asked me if I would drive into town and buy him medicine. I told him no. He asked me why. I told him that I don't know how to drive on icy roads, and I can't see well enough to drive in the dark....

pineapple · pineapple

It was one year ago today that I found this place. Boy, what a year it's been. Plenty of ups and downs with my ah all year long. And as I saw by how upset I let myself get over ah's latest binge a couple weeks ago, I still have a long way to go in my recovery. But looking back at many of the other incidents that happ...

usedtobeanyer · usedtobeanyer

I'm going to enjoy the holidays no matter what... And I hope you all do too!

ellarose · ellarose

Since the birth of our child, we've gone through a cycle in our house. It starts with a six pack and a beer or two during the evening, then progressed to the point where my husband was falling asleep on the couch in the basement 5-6 times a week after several beers. One day he said he had a problem. We dumped...

2nice4_2long · 2nice4_2long

Hi, My first post to this board. I am aware of enabling and try hard to avoid doing things that enable my A. The problem is that I feel like a really mean person when I don't do something put to me as a "favor". by favors - I mean things like please drive me to the mall so I can buy my gifts. Please dro...

Jerry F · Jerry F

and sometimes age doesn't matter. Aloha MIP Family. I was with family of orgin last eveing for a Christmas potluck and gift swap and fun and it was...fun. Fun was the focus so cool. Our last get together wasn't as much fun especially for my 4 year old grandson who is sooo small and like a bug to his hug...

Jozie · Jozie

Yeah know, Since My Last Post I have been doing some Real Soul Searching tring to get out of my Own way, and I think I have come up with one of my BIGGEST Problems to date... I don't Understand HELP... Defined : AID Or ASSIST , Or One who Assists Another... My Sponser & I ALWAY Butt heads about this Very th...

Topic		Started By	Replies	Views	Last Post
	More miracles!! (Preview) Around the 21st of this month my wife and I were cleaning up stuff...lightening the load because we've collected s t u f f from other times and other places and some of the stuff were old photographs (Dang was she a looker back then and Dang we were a handsome couple LOL). Memories are great huh? .....	Jerry F	5	610	Dec 30, 2010 by maresie
	this has to do with working this in all our affairs... (Preview) Well some of you may be aware that my ex husband (father of my 8 year old son) is a rage-aholic. To me that means he screams and yells because he is so sad from his own childhood of seeing and hearing his parents scream and yell at each other. I feel as if he goes from to 60 in a second when he gets mad, over the...	sunflowergirl	4	727	Dec 30, 2010 by Jerry F
	Husband doesn't think he is an alcoholic- am I wrong? (Preview) Hi- I am posting another question.. I guess this should have been first. My therapist told me that Alanon is for anyone who is bothered by someone else's drinking and doesn't focus on labels. I do understand that. But I guess a big part of my anxiety is whether or not I am right to be worried. My husband say...	Angeliki	16	8388	Dec 30, 2010 by danielle0516
	tired (Preview) my a/drug addict b/f drinks more when he is off work any idle time he has from work is drinking,i stayed 2 days with him and was all the ready to come home he was already acting drunk by the time i left tocome home,my friend told me that i was or i didnt have any sense messing with him,sometimes i think by insan...	pattyann1963	3	685	Dec 30, 2010 by Debilyn
	What caused their drinking!???? (Preview) My former partner who I care for drinks because she was abused by her Father (sexual & violence). Most of the locals who gravitate towards her socially when she is out are also damaged people who drink or have other issues. I have not come across any of her friends who drink just for drinking sake, t...	Speck	17	843	Dec 30, 2010 by flinn66
	Keep the meeting going! (Preview) someone went out of her way to even get to a meeting t his morning. She wasn't even feeling well! no op was there. She led the group in the Serenity prayer and no one execpt myself said "amen." That discouraged her, so she left. Either an op can show up or the group can try to say amen after the Ser...	Data395	4	841	Dec 30, 2010 by lacewing
	Help please- VERY NEW and confused about whether or not to leave my husband... (Preview) Hello- I am feeling very desperate at the moment and could not wait until my husband left the house this morning so I could get on here and start typing. I am basically contemplating leaving my husband but he is making me feel like I am crazy for doing it. Here is the story: DH and I met about 7 years ago. I was...	Angeliki	14	905	Dec 29, 2010 by Mattie
	"Study Edition" of the AA big book? (Preview) Hoping some of our double-winners know more about this... I need to purchase a copy of the Big Book - my exAH took the one we had in the house with him (although it's not getting any use). My sponsor requested I keep a copy of the Big Book as part of my own step work in order to understand alcoholism. I read the...	Aloha	3	4168	Dec 29, 2010 by Jerry F
	Applying these principles to Life's challenges (Preview) One thing about the principles of Al-anon is that really everyone should use them, not just those who are affected by addicts.....I have totally detached from my A for the time being...mostly because he's been laying low...(Thank God!) but now I'm dealing with a crazy person who is not an A....but co...	sdisnie	5	1607	Dec 29, 2010 by flinn66
	My A quit AA. (Preview) I was saddened last night when my A ripped up his AA book and burned it in the fireplace outside. It is only a matter time time until he picks up that first drink again. I have seen him going down this path for several months and he inches closer every day. I guess he quit his program a couple of weeks ago. I...	clep	7	783	Dec 29, 2010 by Cloudsea
	Thoughts about Denial (Preview) I have noticed that my relationship with my A goes through quite recognisable cycles. On a day to day basis I think I choose to ignore a lot of minor issues that perhaps don't always suit me - but I tend to think 'ok not my way but how important is it?' In doing so it seems that the behaviours of my A become more...	flinn66	8	729	Dec 29, 2010 by flinn66
	another newbie needing help? (Preview) Hi everyone I can imagine there are lots of new people at this time of the year all with their own heartbreaking stories. I have only just heard of al anon and went to my first and only meeting last week. I went expecting to be given advice on how to help an AH and was stunned at what really took place. So m...	Fallon	8	661	Dec 29, 2010 by Angeliki
	update/ since i cannot delete this (Preview) I am up and down. Am doing better at giving it all to HP. I know he will give me the tools to deal with his change in my life. I am looking at it as a new chapter. Familiar always seems easier. But in reality, this place is huge for one person on disability to keep up. I like things tidy and kept up. Its hard, I cann...	Debilyn	2	794	Dec 29, 2010 by hotrod
	How to attract to alanon? (Preview) This has never happened before, because I never had alanon before... however, where I work, I am the front desk receptionist for a busy newspaper. A news reporter came down and had a phone conversation right in front of me. She asked the person if they had been drinking. She then told them they coul...	sunflowergirl	13	845	Dec 29, 2010 by living_with_my_a
	Merry Christmas to all! (Preview) I hope you are all having a great day :) Merry Christmas and Happy Holidays and Happy new year.... Heres to many serene days	sunflowergirl	4	416	Dec 29, 2010 by living_with_my_a
	Being drawn to people who aren't present (Preview) I've had a couple interesting revelations in the last few days. 1. My ex's brother and mother came out to visit him over the holiday and they wanted to meet up with me and do lunch one day, which I figured would be fine. The ex stayed away because his daughter was going to be there and he's still refusing to t...	Aloha	8	800	Dec 29, 2010 by living_with_my_a
	Decided to leave (Preview) I've packed up and I'm just about to load the car and drive away. The gravity of this move has just hit me and although I am finally taking control of my fates and no longer allowing his disease to rule my life, the pain of what I am losing is hitting me. There was so much potential, so much good that we could h...	anewyear	9	760	Dec 29, 2010 by living_with_my_a
	How do you explain your A's drinking to your children when your A is in denial? (Preview) I am just wondering something for down the road. My son is only 1. But I worry about how I will explain my husband's drinking to him. My husband does not think he has a problem so its not like he is in a program or something we could jointly explain to our son. I would have to basically go against my husband's w...	Angeliki	6	798	Dec 28, 2010 by Jerry F
	Is this normal A behavior? (Preview) The last day of our vacation, AH, the kids, and I went to eat at the restaurant that is located on the first floor of the hotel we stayed at. AH had heard that they brewed their own beer there, and he decided to try it. Without thinking, I shot him a look of disapproval, and he immediately asked what was wro...	kimmy1975	16	900	Dec 28, 2010 by danielle0516
	deleted (Preview) deleted because my husband reads my posts. -- Edited by eyeswideopen on Tuesday 28th of December 2010 10:23:23 AM	eyeswideopen	30	2106	Dec 28, 2010 by Jerry F
	I have my sponsor back. Yipeee (Preview) I had a fantastic sponsor about a year ago. When my A and I reconcilled I started going to a big book study as I saw a difference it made for him. I met a man who became his sponsor recently and the man's wife that ended up becoming my new sponsor. Things went downhill quickly for me. I was working an AA pro...	clep	5	696	Dec 28, 2010 by sunflowergirl
	Alcoholics in Al-anon? (Preview) I have noticed several times in my readings that I see things in my A that al-anon might be very helpful for. He is really struggling in his program it seems and doesn't get how to fix some things. Upon seeing what he is saying, the things he is speaking of seem to be the things I am learning in my program. ...	clep	8	1154	Dec 28, 2010 by sunflowergirl
	new comer - looking for guidance (Preview) Hi, my story is sort of long, but I really need to speak out and relate to others who have gone through what I have. I have been spending the past two nights reading the forums, and thought I would take a moment to post my story. I am a 30 year old women and started dating a man around my same age two years ago. ...	tiffany6180	11	909	Dec 27, 2010 by tiffany6180
	He loves me then he pushes me away. (Preview) Just two weeks ago I was so in love and looking forward to the holidays....and then it happened;again. The story of me and my BF (3yrs sober) is a complicated one. We got involved during a very crazy time in both of our lives. Then three months later I found out I was preggers. I knew him, but I didn't kno...	parfait624	10	6755	Dec 27, 2010 by parfait624
	Tuesday 12/28 Morning Meeting (Preview) Hi, I just wanted you to know I will be unable to chair this Tuesdays 12/28 morning meeting. As many of you know my brother is dying has last stage liver failure due to HepC contracted when he was a hard core H addict. He is now 13 yrs in recovery. We have now been told he has about a week to live.... of course he...	xeno59	3	503	Dec 27, 2010 by Samsgram
	Sad - How do I master One Day at a Time? (Preview) So here it is Christmas Eve. We are about to go to church together. AH has been recovering for several months. I am 99% sure he had some alcohol today. What's the 1%? The fact he hasn't admitted it. Motions, conversations and a change in talking all point to some alcohol. Not drunk but probably ex...	wifeofalcoholic	11	616	Dec 27, 2010 by wifeofalcoholic
	It's All So Familiar (Preview) Oh Gosh! It's been a long time since I've been here. All the post are so familiar with what I've been going through with my active AH. I'm married to two men. 1. A loving man who works the program 2. A sick man who is a wreck less jerk Right now, I hate them both! Back to the drawing board for me! No major decis...	Sincerely	4	659	Dec 27, 2010 by Jerry F
	last nights update (Preview) Well this morning my AH asked me mother if he had offended her or been out of order in her home. My mother did the usual and told him not at all, he was fine and welcome any time!!!!!!! I mean can u believe that after the drama she made last night ordering me to come get him. He asked my brother and dad the same th...	Fallon	5	681	Dec 27, 2010 by Jerry F
	Am i crazy or what? (Preview) I'm new here on this board, and I'm new to alanon as well. I have visited alanon meetings over the past year, mostly when the storm was raging, ( agf was drinking, always a no call no show ) and when it calmed down i didnt come around. I thought that my program would be enough to make it through because, I...	liam	8	773	Dec 27, 2010 by abbyal
	please please help (Preview) My first xmas after goin to al anon has been horrendous I have tried to ignore the hiding of drink I have forced myself not to try and hide drink and try and feed him etc etc but he went to the football today with my best pals husband and me and my best pal went and met them in pub afterwards. Both hubbies were...	Fallon	7	853	Dec 27, 2010 by Fallon
	feeling lonely (Preview) So once my a decided to become sober so did I. He seems happy that i've decided not to drink or do the things that affect him so negatively. I have no problem giving up drinking, esspecially if it helps me feel closer or more supportive but along with it i've given up a lot of friends and socializing. I'm you...	xosarahox	8	792	Dec 27, 2010 by xosarahox
	An ok Christmas til... (Preview) today. Made it through the holiday with the Abf. He gave me some nice gifts including diamond earrings. Very special to me, esp after I got the speech that jewelry was overpriced and a waste of money and I wouldn't be getting any. So today while his son was at the relatives, I was trying to come up with fu...	member922	4	669	Dec 27, 2010 by member922
	Getting better every day (Preview) Hey guys. This is the longest I have gone without posting since I have joined this site. And it's because I'm actually doing well. The struggles are not over, of course, but I'm starting to busy myself more. School is over and I did great on my finals because I had time to study, mostly because the lack of a...	Brookiebabe222	6	521	Dec 26, 2010 by Madelyn M
	I am grateful.... (Preview) I am so grateful to HP for helping me get to recovery and this board. For helping me find a great sponsor to help me through. For my job. For the bad days that help me enjoy the good days even more. For the moments when I slip, so that I can quickly come back to recovery. For my bf who is sweet, kind, suppor...	sunflowergirl	9	555	Dec 26, 2010 by Madelyn M
	Best wishes to all for Holiday season.... (Preview) I wanted to wish everyone Happy Holidays, whatever holiday it may be, for you and your families. I know how hard this season can be on everyone, expectations run high and so does stress and anxiety. I've found each year, a time of year I used to love has little be little become a drain on me and sometimes...	mjhyankees	7	722	Dec 26, 2010 by Madelyn M
	Dr. Phil Show (Preview) Well, I hate to even post this, they have switched the show so many times, but the show on "Parental Abduction" with my daughter and I as guests, will air on 1/4/11. Dr. Phil is on channel 2 in L.A. and his show is on at 4:00, I guess its different in your area. Parental abduction is an important t...	Bettina	4	1450	Dec 26, 2010 by xeno59
	middle steps (Preview) Hi everyone, hope you all enjoying the holidays. I had a lovely day yesterday and it is my birthday today not feeling very well but I am still feeling very happy. I am currently working on the middle steps 4,5,6,7 and looking in the mirror i quite hard. My hp is bring awareness to me moment to moment. I kn...	Tracy	4	664	Dec 26, 2010 by Jerry F
	Married to a dry drunk - a decade of abuse? (Preview) Hi everyone, feeling very confronted by the concept of "dry drunk". I am a stay-at-home-mum in a same-sex relationship with a woman much older than myself. We have been together for nearly ten years and have two small children (who I carried) within the relationship. My partner was alway...	scalawag78	5	1515	Dec 26, 2010 by xeno59
	The Recovery Competition (Preview) When my AH and I were both in recovery(him AA me alanon), he would constantly try to compete with me. He would judge my recovery and make comments about my sponsor, my step work and my choice of recovery friends. He would actually go so far as to critique our programs slogans and readings. I generally jus...	freeagain	6	1139	Dec 26, 2010 by xeno59
	update (Preview) I am feeling very scared again. Mortgage advocate called. The mortgage company will want more money the first payment to do the loan mod. I don't know if this will go sour or not. This mortgage company is the worst, so much fraud and lawsuits against it. The thought of all the loss just has me petrified. H...	lyndebi	11	696	Dec 26, 2010 by buick23
	What I know is true... (Preview) ...change, EVERYTHING CHANGES, with my feelings, thoughts, and contentment being on the top of the list for me right now. I've been wanting to post all week, a story of ESH, but alas, I waited too long, and here I am with a whole different topic feeling the need to get it out, get some feedback and move...	Loupiness	7	785	Dec 26, 2010 by danielle0516
	Songs to relate to (Preview) This might seem like a weird post, but I think the people on here will understand. I have three songs that completely related to my experiences with my alcoholic. In some ways it is depressing, but if anyone has a chance to look them up and listen to the lyrics, I would be curious to know if you could relate...	looking_for_peace	7	3574	Dec 25, 2010 by Jennifer
	Just taking a minute..... (Preview) to wish all of my friends here on MIP a serene, happy, and joy-filled Merry Christmas! May the promise of the new year, 2011, bring you all you have hoped for and deserve. My fondest regards to all, Diva	Diva	9	583	Dec 25, 2010 by lyndebi
	holiday stress (Preview) ugh i have to work on this... my trying to control it. i told ah i did not want to "do" christmas with his relatives on xmas eve -- which we have done for years but i hate it. as to them christmas is time for a "piss-up" as they call it.i am just tired of ah and everyone else being hungove...	tweety23	7	577	Dec 25, 2010 by maire rua
	New Member Here's My storey, looking for guidance (Preview) Hello My name is Amanda and I am the Adult Child of an Alcoholic mother, I frequently carry the burden of my mothers disease around on my shoulders, and am heading a project for my family to approach my mother with her problems. Here's my storey... Growing up myself and my two sister had a great childhoo...	alittle967	11	805	Dec 25, 2010 by wifeofalcoholic
	Peace (Preview) Merry Christmas and a peaceful new year to all :) wp	wp	3	586	Dec 25, 2010 by Speck
	Peace To All (Preview) Happy Holidays to all of you....and may they bring you peace, joy and happiness. Whatever you strive for individually, I pray that you will find peace in your heart to make it through each day and end it with a smile. Thanks to everyone on here for love, support, advice and kind words. We all couldn'...	sdisnie	1	409	Dec 25, 2010 by Loupiness
	A couple years ago (Preview) Somebody special liked this so much that I am gonna say it again.... originally meant for Thanksgiving but works for this holiday too! Whatever you end up doing, Treat yourself like you would the most honored guest When I am feeling down I look back at this and remember that at least one day I was headed...	Jennifer	1	546	Dec 24, 2010 by Jerry F
	A second chance: Merry Christmas (Preview) (((Family))), Well my nieces have been given a Christmas gift. As many of you know my brother-in-law was busted lasted year for making meth. This was his first offense but because it was a big one the attorneys were pretty sure that he would have to do some time. He has been out on probation doing what...	Karilynn	8	738	Dec 24, 2010 by Jennifer
	Toxic Love (Preview) There have been a lot of recent posts around the frustration of dealing with A's who claim to love us, but aren't really showing this in their actions.... I found this list - compiled by Melody Beattie and Terance Gorski), that gives us many great examples of the differences between "toxic&quo...	canadianguy	15	1540	Dec 24, 2010 by Jennifer
	Hiding my prescription pills (Preview) I've been thinking about this a lot the last couple of days. I injured my back last week when I was putting my 1 year old in his car seat. The car seat was in the middle of the backseat, and I was standing outside the car bent over trying to get him in it. I must've used my lower back to lift him, but as soon as I...	White Rabbit	8	1355	Dec 24, 2010 by Jennifer
	Are my expectations too high? (Preview) I'm hoping that the members here will have some words of wisdom to knock some sense into me. For the past couple of weeks, ABF has been going around announcing "I hate Christmas!" and "I hate shopping!", plus telling me that he's feeling depressed. A couple of times he's asked m...	ythannah	13	764	Dec 24, 2010 by wp
	my first meeting (Preview) i went to my first meeting tonight. it started off a little slow and there were only four of us (two newbies), but then the conversation picked up. I am so glad I went. Our stories were all different, but with person there was an element i could identify with and the people who had attended before had good a...	ellarose	3	563	Dec 24, 2010 by wp
	Didn't take his bait (Preview) Last night after a day of snowboarding, AH started feeling bad. He said he had a sore throat, was achy and had chills. He asked me if I would drive into town and buy him medicine. I told him no. He asked me why. I told him that I don't know how to drive on icy roads, and I can't see well enough to drive in the dark....	kimmy1975	3	770	Dec 24, 2010 by danielle0516
	happy anniversary to me (Preview) It was one year ago today that I found this place. Boy, what a year it's been. Plenty of ups and downs with my ah all year long. And as I saw by how upset I let myself get over ah's latest binge a couple weeks ago, I still have a long way to go in my recovery. But looking back at many of the other incidents that happ...	pineapple	9	651	Dec 23, 2010 by ythannah
	I'm going to enjoy the holidays no matter what...I'm going to enjoy the holidays no matter what... (Preview) I'm going to enjoy the holidays no matter what... And I hope you all do too!	usedtobeanyer	7	743	Dec 23, 2010 by member922
	am i being too hard? (Preview) Since the birth of our child, we've gone through a cycle in our house. It starts with a six pack and a beer or two during the evening, then progressed to the point where my husband was falling asleep on the couch in the basement 5-6 times a week after several beers. One day he said he had a problem. We dumped...	ellarose	9	681	Dec 23, 2010 by failte
	How to feel nice but not enable (Preview) Hi, My first post to this board. I am aware of enabling and try hard to avoid doing things that enable my A. The problem is that I feel like a really mean person when I don't do something put to me as a "favor". by favors - I mean things like please drive me to the mall so I can buy my gifts. Please dro...	2nice4_2long	6	874	Dec 23, 2010 by supermom
	It works when you work it (Preview) and sometimes age doesn't matter. Aloha MIP Family. I was with family of orgin last eveing for a Christmas potluck and gift swap and fun and it was...fun. Fun was the focus so cool. Our last get together wasn't as much fun especially for my 4 year old grandson who is sooo small and like a bug to his hug...	Jerry F	8	738	Dec 23, 2010 by tiredtonite
	Understanding HELP.... (Preview) Yeah know, Since My Last Post I have been doing some Real Soul Searching tring to get out of my Own way, and I think I have come up with one of my BIGGEST Problems to date... I don't Understand HELP... Defined : AID Or ASSIST , Or One who Assists Another... My Sponser & I ALWAY Butt heads about this Very th...	Jozie	4	701	Dec 23, 2010 by 2nice4_2long
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