Al-Anon Family Group - Al-Anon Family Group

member922 · member922

So I spent yesterday in a funk about this whole stupid "lost relationship" crap. I start today with another email from ABF. I have done well so far over a week with one simple response telling him that he should be proud of his progress and keep up the good work. Now, I don't even know what is h...

glad lee · glad lee

Happy New Year ((everyone)) I thought I'd post a beautiful reminder of what we're working for in Al-anon... Brightest blessings! Al-anon Promises/From Survival to Recovery p. 269 "If we willingly surrender ourselves to the spiritual discipline of The Twelve Steps and work the program, o...

Mattie · Mattie

My relationship with my addict has been over for quite some time (years). We communicate infrequently but pretty well about family and necessary things. I know he's still sunk in his addictions, but in the casual contact we have, I don't see signs of him. If I didn't know him from times gone by, I'd n...

liam · liam

Over Serious Anonymous 12 Step Program 1. We admitted that we were powerless over seriousness -- that our lives had become unmanageable. 2. Came to believe that only by lightening up could we achieve a state of non-seriousness. 3. Made a decision to turn our constant self-criticism over to our sen...

Tracy · Tracy

A new year Tody I am thinking what am I going to do with this year? What do I need to focus on? I want to really focus on my programme, I want to get fit and healthy, I plan to train to deliver dance exercise classess one or two nights a week to get fit and hopefully earn more money. My job is a little vulnerable la...

Brookiebabe222 · Brookiebabe222

Today was hard. I have been thinking about my ex a a ton lately. I went to a movie with a couple of my guy friends and it was really fun. But then the end came and of course there was a perfect kiss. And of course I was lonely. It sucked. Luckily I have good friends who were there to cheer me up. But I slipped. I cal...

Debilyn · Debilyn

Being frugal, saving for the big first payment, or for having to go. I use a nice little kerosene heater for heat. We are having arctic cold here in Oregon. My heater just died. I could not get it to turn off. took it outside, took it apart with the fire going. burned my finger, not bad. nothing to do, tried t...

BlazeB · BlazeB

My dearest friend of 20 years suffers from alcoholism. After 20 years of dealing with all this craziness I have become sick from it all. I feel like a dead person walking. When she is on one of her binges I worry myself into panic mode. Frustration, anger and anxiety are my constant companions. I check on...

Christy · Christy

I just thought I'd share this great song by Wilson-Phillips. It's a good reminder that even in the darkest hours, we just need to hold on a bit longer and things will change.

ms621 · ms621

Hello, I'm brand new here. It's 1am and I'm just needing to get this off my chest and hopefully hear some reassurance. My mother is a recovering alcoholic, in treatment 6 yrs and sober for 5 yrs now. She began drinking when I was about 12-13, and I am now 33. We've always been extremely close, so I have d...

suave75 · suave75

I had to kick my fiance out in the middle of the night 3 days ago. He was doing drugs in my house. He started drinking month ago. It wasn't enough and he over stepped my boundaries. I am sad and confused. I am hurt and feel defeated. It been very tough thed past few days. My daughter asks where he's at and I don'...

mjhyankees · mjhyankees

I know many have it worse than me....I know things are generally not horrible for me right now...but there is this nagging feeling that I'll never get any happier than I am. I'm reminded of the line from the Jack Nicholson movie (As good as it gets) when he tells a waiting room full of miserable people t...

member922 · member922

-- Edited by member922 on Saturday 1st of January 2011 04:40:47 PM

shellyj123 · shellyj123

My Alanon anniversary is upon me as well as the New Year...two years ago I crawled through the doors of my first f2f meeting with my SIL holding my hand. I was beaten, frightened, alone, hurt and sure that my life would never be the same and I'd never know happiness again...see I had loved and lost my A, a...

Grace7 · Grace7

Happy New Year Everybody:) I'm looking forward to 2011! I'm also saddened at my loved ones visit "home" who lives cross country from here and I saw very little of him. I'm letting him lead, so did not suggest much and just let things be. It's been this way for a few years and my heart just mis...

Tracy · Tracy

My Sober ABF is doing amazig in recovery and I am really keeeping the focus on myself. Then today I get a call from my ex husband the gambler. His life is in ruins god love him he is facing the consequences of all his choices. He lives in another city. Has had to change his name. Our eldest son 17 will not ta...

stephaniej · stephaniej

Hi all...wishing you all a wonderful 2011. I've been having a rough time, feeling like I'm just barely hanging on in life. All my responsibilities are weighing on me, and combined with some minor but upsetting health issues, I have regressed into quite a pity party. It all came to a head today when I all...

Fallon · Fallon

Hi Do all AA meetings deal with abstinence or do some AA groups work to help people reintroduce alcohol into their life in a manageable controlled way?? My AH has always spoke about groups that help A's with their illness by helping them to be able to drink alcohol in a sociable controlled manner. I...

Bettina · Bettina

HAPPY NEW YEAR !!!! Wishing you all a Happy, Healthy and Peaceful new year!! May all that you desire come to be. Luv, Bettina

looking_for_peace · looking_for_peace

Just wondering if anyone else on the board feels "left out" tonight. Since my AH had problems with alcohol, we have not been invited to the usual Christmas parties and News Years Eve Parties. We have friends who love us and I have a best friend who includes me in almost everything else...but...

lacewing · lacewing

Happy New Year To You... Happy New Year To YOU... May we ALL find Seren-ity! AND Some Miracles TOO! Happy New Year EVERYONE! May this New Year of 2011 bring forth much love, growth, acceptance, and comfort to your door. ~!~

Bettina · Bettina

Whats up with that????

Jerry F · Jerry F

and just the first day of it...Day one coming up. I ended the last day re-affirming my commitment to enact change here locally. I fired up this old 12 gauge desk top and shot gunned the emails out to the Education Committee heads in both the House and the Senate and in the Department of Education itself...

kerry5 · kerry5

Business meeting for January will be postponed until January 9th 2011. If you have anything you would like to be put on the agenda, please contact me Thank you Kerry (aka kerisha)

kath · kath

Today I began to call someone, proceed to this MIP board or run it over in my mind over and over again to complain about my AH. It doesn't work for me anymore to complain. I'm tired of complaining about him and it never gets me anywhere. What does get me relief is to pray for him. I have prayed for him in many as...

beentheredonethat · beentheredonethat

This is my first time on, and my husband is the alcoholic, I have come to realize i can never change him, but how do i start to change me?/ I have 3 sons and am so worried they will grow up to be like dad. i am tired of the resentment, anger, guilt, lies , lies and more lies, the lack of money for family stuff beca...

ally · ally

Hi Guys I've been a way from Al-anon for three years now, every now and again i pop back into MIP and say hi and share my life with you all. I still practice my programme and pass on wisdom when i can, funnily enough i'm still coming across people who are affected by another's drinking. Like everyone el...

member922 · member922

So after the big fallout with the ABF on Sunday, I find that I am holding strong in some ways. I received the apology messages and the "call me so we can talk" message. I never answered the email, nor the phone calls. I feel strong by not blocking his numbers, email etc. by choosing not to ans...

looking_for_peace · looking_for_peace

I attended Al-Anon for 10 months now. I am slow at getting all of it, and I know I need to look to myself to make some more changes if I ever want anything to really change. I really want a sponsor. I think I am ready and I think it would be extremely important to my recovery. I have a particular person in mind, a...

Sincerely · Sincerely

How in the world can I be so successful at my career and struggle so much with my marriage to my active A? UGH! Sincerely

Loveridden · Loveridden

Hi everyone! I thought I would post, long time since I have been here.....was more active in the chat than on the message board but last few times I tried chat it wasn't working for me....I got a new internet now so maybe that is why... Anyways, I broke up and moved out of the apartment I shared with my A bf...

pamommy · pamommy

That's my work these days... I've been lied to so often that I have a hard time believing what I see is true. I've been doing pretty well with it too and I'm proud of myself! My in recovery AH has been "dopey" the past couple of days, and his daughter noticed as well. I simply told him, I know yo...

maire rua · maire rua

Hi All, Just had Christmas dinner with my A-father at a hotel, and feel sad. The dinner was ok bar the nasty couple of comments that I had from my father. He was talking about how he drinks at home because of the danger of drinking and driving, sound stuff you would think, until you realise just how much he d...

Debilyn · Debilyn

Woke up pushing the trepidation away, and put happy things in my head. I need to do what I share all the time. Anti stressors. Gotta find mine and cancel out all this bolony. The situation is not the problem so much as is the limbo. So I must learn to get on and be happy NOW. Then I get an email from the mortgage...

clep · clep

As I shoveled the driveway this morning I struggled to keep out of the thinking that brings resentment. My A always did that chore and taking out the garbage. Last night he played on his computer as I did the dishes, laundry and prepared for work this morning. I have much to prepare being self employe...

Sincerely · Sincerely

Good Morning Everyone! It has been months since I've regularly visited the message boards. My heart aches at all the sadness we have in our lives. My heart aches at all the sadness in my friends and families lives. Right now, this minute...I am declaring a renewed spirit within my heart! Thank You,...

usedtobeanyer · usedtobeanyer

My wife has had a really hard time for the last year or so and although she is continuing to actively participate in AA, she is also about as unhappy as I've ever seen her. Having a conversation with her is almost impossible as she just gets uncomfortable and insecure. When she is able to have a conversati...

looking_for_peace · looking_for_peace

Detaching means that I carry on with my normal activities even thought my AH is drinking, or acting like he is drinking, right? There are some times that I can do this, perhaps by hanging out with my daughters, doing normal household things, etc. However, I just don't think I can do this full time. For in...

Jerry F · Jerry F

Around the 21st of this month my wife and I were cleaning up stuff...lightening the load because we've collected s t u f f from other times and other places and some of the stuff were old photographs (Dang was she a looker back then and Dang we were a handsome couple LOL). Memories are great huh? .....

sunflowergirl · sunflowergirl

Well some of you may be aware that my ex husband (father of my 8 year old son) is a rage-aholic. To me that means he screams and yells because he is so sad from his own childhood of seeing and hearing his parents scream and yell at each other. I feel as if he goes from to 60 in a second when he gets mad, over the...

Angeliki · Angeliki

Hi- I am posting another question.. I guess this should have been first. My therapist told me that Alanon is for anyone who is bothered by someone else's drinking and doesn't focus on labels. I do understand that. But I guess a big part of my anxiety is whether or not I am right to be worried. My husband say...

pattyann1963 · pattyann1963

my a/drug addict b/f drinks more when he is off work any idle time he has from work is drinking,i stayed 2 days with him and was all the ready to come home he was already acting drunk by the time i left tocome home,my friend told me that i was or i didnt have any sense messing with him,sometimes i think by insan...

Speck · Speck

My former partner who I care for drinks because she was abused by her Father (sexual & violence). Most of the locals who gravitate towards her socially when she is out are also damaged people who drink or have other issues. I have not come across any of her friends who drink just for drinking sake, t...

Data395 · Data395

someone went out of her way to even get to a meeting t his morning. She wasn't even feeling well! no op was there. She led the group in the Serenity prayer and no one execpt myself said "amen." That discouraged her, so she left. Either an op can show up or the group can try to say amen after the Ser...

Angeliki · Angeliki

Hello- I am feeling very desperate at the moment and could not wait until my husband left the house this morning so I could get on here and start typing. I am basically contemplating leaving my husband but he is making me feel like I am crazy for doing it. Here is the story: DH and I met about 7 years ago. I was...

Aloha · Aloha

Hoping some of our double-winners know more about this... I need to purchase a copy of the Big Book - my exAH took the one we had in the house with him (although it's not getting any use). My sponsor requested I keep a copy of the Big Book as part of my own step work in order to understand alcoholism. I read the...

sdisnie · sdisnie

One thing about the principles of Al-anon is that really everyone should use them, not just those who are affected by addicts.....I have totally detached from my A for the time being...mostly because he's been laying low...(Thank God!) but now I'm dealing with a crazy person who is not an A....but co...

clep · clep

I was saddened last night when my A ripped up his AA book and burned it in the fireplace outside. It is only a matter time time until he picks up that first drink again. I have seen him going down this path for several months and he inches closer every day. I guess he quit his program a couple of weeks ago. I...

flinn66 · flinn66

I have noticed that my relationship with my A goes through quite recognisable cycles. On a day to day basis I think I choose to ignore a lot of minor issues that perhaps don't always suit me - but I tend to think 'ok not my way but how important is it?' In doing so it seems that the behaviours of my A become more...

Fallon · Fallon

Hi everyone I can imagine there are lots of new people at this time of the year all with their own heartbreaking stories. I have only just heard of al anon and went to my first and only meeting last week. I went expecting to be given advice on how to help an AH and was stunned at what really took place. So m...

Debilyn · Debilyn

I am up and down. Am doing better at giving it all to HP. I know he will give me the tools to deal with his change in my life. I am looking at it as a new chapter. Familiar always seems easier. But in reality, this place is huge for one person on disability to keep up. I like things tidy and kept up. Its hard, I cann...

sunflowergirl · sunflowergirl

This has never happened before, because I never had alanon before... however, where I work, I am the front desk receptionist for a busy newspaper. A news reporter came down and had a phone conversation right in front of me. She asked the person if they had been drinking. She then told them they coul...

sunflowergirl · sunflowergirl

I hope you are all having a great day :) Merry Christmas and Happy Holidays and Happy new year.... Heres to many serene days

Aloha · Aloha

I've had a couple interesting revelations in the last few days. 1. My ex's brother and mother came out to visit him over the holiday and they wanted to meet up with me and do lunch one day, which I figured would be fine. The ex stayed away because his daughter was going to be there and he's still refusing to t...

anewyear · anewyear

I've packed up and I'm just about to load the car and drive away. The gravity of this move has just hit me and although I am finally taking control of my fates and no longer allowing his disease to rule my life, the pain of what I am losing is hitting me. There was so much potential, so much good that we could h...

Angeliki · Angeliki

I am just wondering something for down the road. My son is only 1. But I worry about how I will explain my husband's drinking to him. My husband does not think he has a problem so its not like he is in a program or something we could jointly explain to our son. I would have to basically go against my husband's w...

kimmy1975 · kimmy1975

The last day of our vacation, AH, the kids, and I went to eat at the restaurant that is located on the first floor of the hotel we stayed at. AH had heard that they brewed their own beer there, and he decided to try it. Without thinking, I shot him a look of disapproval, and he immediately asked what was wro...

eyeswideopen · eyeswideopen

deleted because my husband reads my posts. -- Edited by eyeswideopen on Tuesday 28th of December 2010 10:23:23 AM

clep · clep

I had a fantastic sponsor about a year ago. When my A and I reconcilled I started going to a big book study as I saw a difference it made for him. I met a man who became his sponsor recently and the man's wife that ended up becoming my new sponsor. Things went downhill quickly for me. I was working an AA pro...

clep · clep

I have noticed several times in my readings that I see things in my A that al-anon might be very helpful for. He is really struggling in his program it seems and doesn't get how to fix some things. Upon seeing what he is saying, the things he is speaking of seem to be the things I am learning in my program. ...

Topic		Started By	Replies	Views	Last Post
	Craziness!! (Preview) So I spent yesterday in a funk about this whole stupid "lost relationship" crap. I start today with another email from ABF. I have done well so far over a week with one simple response telling him that he should be proud of his progress and keep up the good work. Now, I don't even know what is h...	member922	4	720	Jan 2, 2011 by xeno59
	The Al-anon Promises (Preview) Happy New Year ((everyone)) I thought I'd post a beautiful reminder of what we're working for in Al-anon... Brightest blessings! Al-anon Promises/From Survival to Recovery p. 269 "If we willingly surrender ourselves to the spiritual discipline of The Twelve Steps and work the program, o...	glad lee	3	1093	Jan 2, 2011 by shellyj123
	Stopping the obsessing -- ? (Preview) My relationship with my addict has been over for quite some time (years). We communicate infrequently but pretty well about family and necessary things. I know he's still sunk in his addictions, but in the casual contact we have, I don't see signs of him. If I didn't know him from times gone by, I'd n...	Mattie	5	850	Jan 2, 2011 by bud
	seriousness: Sign of spiritual sickness? (Preview) Over Serious Anonymous 12 Step Program 1. We admitted that we were powerless over seriousness -- that our lives had become unmanageable. 2. Came to believe that only by lightening up could we achieve a state of non-seriousness. 3. Made a decision to turn our constant self-criticism over to our sen...	liam	6	1194	Jan 2, 2011 by hotrod
	my life. (Preview) A new year Tody I am thinking what am I going to do with this year? What do I need to focus on? I want to really focus on my programme, I want to get fit and healthy, I plan to train to deliver dance exercise classess one or two nights a week to get fit and hopefully earn more money. My job is a little vulnerable la...	Tracy	1	503	Jan 2, 2011 by member922
	Crap. (Preview) Today was hard. I have been thinking about my ex a a ton lately. I went to a movie with a couple of my guy friends and it was really fun. But then the end came and of course there was a perfect kiss. And of course I was lonely. It sucked. Luckily I have good friends who were there to cheer me up. But I slipped. I cal...	Brookiebabe222	2	636	Jan 2, 2011 by member922
	ok stop it already I am learning (Preview) Being frugal, saving for the big first payment, or for having to go. I use a nice little kerosene heater for heat. We are having arctic cold here in Oregon. My heater just died. I could not get it to turn off. took it outside, took it apart with the fire going. burned my finger, not bad. nothing to do, tried t...	Debilyn	5	745	Jan 1, 2011 by xeno59
	need to change my behavior (Preview) My dearest friend of 20 years suffers from alcoholism. After 20 years of dealing with all this craziness I have become sick from it all. I feel like a dead person walking. When she is on one of her binges I worry myself into panic mode. Frustration, anger and anxiety are my constant companions. I check on...	BlazeB	6	791	Jan 1, 2011 by xeno59
	Hold On (Preview) I just thought I'd share this great song by Wilson-Phillips. It's a good reminder that even in the darkest hours, we just need to hold on a bit longer and things will change.	Christy	6	808	Jan 1, 2011 by xeno59
	Newcomer: I can't believe this is happening again... (Preview) Hello, I'm brand new here. It's 1am and I'm just needing to get this off my chest and hopefully hear some reassurance. My mother is a recovering alcoholic, in treatment 6 yrs and sober for 5 yrs now. She began drinking when I was about 12-13, and I am now 33. We've always been extremely close, so I have d...	ms621	8	819	Jan 1, 2011 by xeno59
	NEW... I am so sad and hurt. (Preview) I had to kick my fiance out in the middle of the night 3 days ago. He was doing drugs in my house. He started drinking month ago. It wasn't enough and he over stepped my boundaries. I am sad and confused. I am hurt and feel defeated. It been very tough thed past few days. My daughter asks where he's at and I don'...	suave75	6	826	Jan 1, 2011 by xeno59
	It feels like it will never get better..... (Preview) I know many have it worse than me....I know things are generally not horrible for me right now...but there is this nagging feeling that I'll never get any happier than I am. I'm reminded of the line from the Jack Nicholson movie (As good as it gets) when he tells a waiting room full of miserable people t...	mjhyankees	9	836	Jan 1, 2011 by xeno59
	Nevermind (Preview) -- Edited by member922 on Saturday 1st of January 2011 04:40:47 PM	member922	4	1218	Jan 1, 2011 by Debilyn
	We learn as we live...another anniversary in recovery (Preview) My Alanon anniversary is upon me as well as the New Year...two years ago I crawled through the doors of my first f2f meeting with my SIL holding my hand. I was beaten, frightened, alone, hurt and sure that my life would never be the same and I'd never know happiness again...see I had loved and lost my A, a...	shellyj123	1	1107	Jan 1, 2011 by tiredtonite
	Missing my loved one (Preview) Happy New Year Everybody:) I'm looking forward to 2011! I'm also saddened at my loved ones visit "home" who lives cross country from here and I saw very little of him. I'm letting him lead, so did not suggest much and just let things be. It's been this way for a few years and my heart just mis...	Grace7	1	680	Jan 1, 2011 by xeno59
	detachment (Preview) My Sober ABF is doing amazig in recovery and I am really keeeping the focus on myself. Then today I get a call from my ex husband the gambler. His life is in ruins god love him he is facing the consequences of all his choices. He lives in another city. Has had to change his name. Our eldest son 17 will not ta...	Tracy	2	632	Jan 1, 2011 by glad lee
	Happy New Year, MIPers (Preview) Hi all...wishing you all a wonderful 2011. I've been having a rough time, feeling like I'm just barely hanging on in life. All my responsibilities are weighing on me, and combined with some minor but upsetting health issues, I have regressed into quite a pity party. It all came to a head today when I all...	stephaniej	2	646	Jan 1, 2011 by tiredtonite
	can it ever be controlled or is this another lie?? (Preview) Hi Do all AA meetings deal with abstinence or do some AA groups work to help people reintroduce alcohol into their life in a manageable controlled way?? My AH has always spoke about groups that help A's with their illness by helping them to be able to drink alcohol in a sociable controlled manner. I...	Fallon	15	852	Jan 1, 2011 by flinn66
	HAPPY NEW YEAR!!!!! (Preview) HAPPY NEW YEAR !!!! Wishing you all a Happy, Healthy and Peaceful new year!! May all that you desire come to be. Luv, Bettina	Bettina	7	701	Jan 1, 2011 by flinn66
	Anyone else feel "left out" tonight? (Preview) Just wondering if anyone else on the board feels "left out" tonight. Since my AH had problems with alcohol, we have not been invited to the usual Christmas parties and News Years Eve Parties. We have friends who love us and I have a best friend who includes me in almost everything else...but...	looking_for_peace	5	1047	Jan 1, 2011 by flinn66
	1-1-11 (Preview) Happy New Year To You... Happy New Year To YOU... May we ALL find Seren-ity! AND Some Miracles TOO! Happy New Year EVERYONE! May this New Year of 2011 bring forth much love, growth, acceptance, and comfort to your door. ~!~	lacewing	2	724	Jan 1, 2011 by Jerry F
	What is "error IP has been banned" what is that, been noticing it on a lot of posts. (Preview) Whats up with that????	Bettina	2	795	Jan 1, 2011 by Bettina
	It's a New Year.... (Preview) and just the first day of it...Day one coming up. I ended the last day re-affirming my commitment to enact change here locally. I fired up this old 12 gauge desk top and shot gunned the emails out to the Education Committee heads in both the House and the Senate and in the Department of Education itself...	Jerry F	1	472	Jan 1, 2011 by lacewing
	Business Meeting for January will be postponed (Preview) Business meeting for January will be postponed until January 9th 2011. If you have anything you would like to be put on the agenda, please contact me Thank you Kerry (aka kerisha)	kerry5	0	278	Jan 1, 2011 by kerry5
	Praying instead of complaining (Preview) Today I began to call someone, proceed to this MIP board or run it over in my mind over and over again to complain about my AH. It doesn't work for me anymore to complain. I'm tired of complaining about him and it never gets me anywhere. What does get me relief is to pray for him. I have prayed for him in many as...	kath	5	751	Dec 31, 2010 by stephaniej
	where do i start??? (Preview) This is my first time on, and my husband is the alcoholic, I have come to realize i can never change him, but how do i start to change me?/ I have 3 sons and am so worried they will grow up to be like dad. i am tired of the resentment, anger, guilt, lies , lies and more lies, the lack of money for family stuff beca...	beentheredonethat	12	789	Dec 31, 2010 by beentheredonethat
	Is It Just Me Oe What (Preview) Hi Guys I've been a way from Al-anon for three years now, every now and again i pop back into MIP and say hi and share my life with you all. I still practice my programme and pass on wisdom when i can, funnily enough i'm still coming across people who are affected by another's drinking. Like everyone el...	ally	3	811	Dec 31, 2010 by VJM111
	Need a little strength... (Preview) So after the big fallout with the ABF on Sunday, I find that I am holding strong in some ways. I received the apology messages and the "call me so we can talk" message. I never answered the email, nor the phone calls. I feel strong by not blocking his numbers, email etc. by choosing not to ans...	member922	13	749	Dec 31, 2010 by member922
	Scared to ask for a sponsor (Preview) I attended Al-Anon for 10 months now. I am slow at getting all of it, and I know I need to look to myself to make some more changes if I ever want anything to really change. I really want a sponsor. I think I am ready and I think it would be extremely important to my recovery. I have a particular person in mind, a...	looking_for_peace	5	1755	Dec 31, 2010 by Aloha
	...why is it?? (Preview) How in the world can I be so successful at my career and struggle so much with my marriage to my active A? UGH! Sincerely	Sincerely	6	918	Dec 31, 2010 by Debilyn
	My A drinks only on special occasions..... (Preview) Hi everyone! I thought I would post, long time since I have been here.....was more active in the chat than on the message board but last few times I tried chat it wasn't working for me....I got a new internet now so maybe that is why... Anyways, I broke up and moved out of the apartment I shared with my A bf...	Loveridden	8	854	Dec 31, 2010 by Loveridden
	The sky is blue and no one can tell me otherwise! (Preview) That's my work these days... I've been lied to so often that I have a hard time believing what I see is true. I've been doing pretty well with it too and I'm proud of myself! My in recovery AH has been "dopey" the past couple of days, and his daughter noticed as well. I simply told him, I know yo...	pamommy	6	519	Dec 30, 2010 by Fallon
	Active A father (Preview) Hi All, Just had Christmas dinner with my A-father at a hotel, and feel sad. The dinner was ok bar the nasty couple of comments that I had from my father. He was talking about how he drinks at home because of the danger of drinking and driving, sound stuff you would think, until you realise just how much he d...	maire rua	5	706	Dec 30, 2010 by maresie
	Finding happy (Preview) Woke up pushing the trepidation away, and put happy things in my head. I need to do what I share all the time. Anti stressors. Gotta find mine and cancel out all this bolony. The situation is not the problem so much as is the limbo. So I must learn to get on and be happy NOW. Then I get an email from the mortgage...	Debilyn	6	716	Dec 30, 2010 by maire rua
	The load is all mine now. (Preview) As I shoveled the driveway this morning I struggled to keep out of the thinking that brings resentment. My A always did that chore and taking out the garbage. Last night he played on his computer as I did the dishes, laundry and prepared for work this morning. I have much to prepare being self employe...	clep	6	941	Dec 30, 2010 by maresie
	...so much sadness (Preview) Good Morning Everyone! It has been months since I've regularly visited the message boards. My heart aches at all the sadness we have in our lives. My heart aches at all the sadness in my friends and families lives. Right now, this minute...I am declaring a renewed spirit within my heart! Thank You,...	Sincerely	3	730	Dec 30, 2010 by maresie
	My wife is totally miserable. Can I be happy? (Preview) My wife has had a really hard time for the last year or so and although she is continuing to actively participate in AA, she is also about as unhappy as I've ever seen her. Having a conversation with her is almost impossible as she just gets uncomfortable and insecure. When she is able to have a conversati...	usedtobeanyer	11	3223	Dec 30, 2010 by maresie
	More questions re. detachment (Preview) Detaching means that I carry on with my normal activities even thought my AH is drinking, or acting like he is drinking, right? There are some times that I can do this, perhaps by hanging out with my daughters, doing normal household things, etc. However, I just don't think I can do this full time. For in...	looking_for_peace	11	890	Dec 30, 2010 by maresie
	More miracles!! (Preview) Around the 21st of this month my wife and I were cleaning up stuff...lightening the load because we've collected s t u f f from other times and other places and some of the stuff were old photographs (Dang was she a looker back then and Dang we were a handsome couple LOL). Memories are great huh? .....	Jerry F	5	643	Dec 30, 2010 by maresie
	this has to do with working this in all our affairs... (Preview) Well some of you may be aware that my ex husband (father of my 8 year old son) is a rage-aholic. To me that means he screams and yells because he is so sad from his own childhood of seeing and hearing his parents scream and yell at each other. I feel as if he goes from to 60 in a second when he gets mad, over the...	sunflowergirl	4	761	Dec 30, 2010 by Jerry F
	Husband doesn't think he is an alcoholic- am I wrong? (Preview) Hi- I am posting another question.. I guess this should have been first. My therapist told me that Alanon is for anyone who is bothered by someone else's drinking and doesn't focus on labels. I do understand that. But I guess a big part of my anxiety is whether or not I am right to be worried. My husband say...	Angeliki	16	8438	Dec 30, 2010 by danielle0516
	tired (Preview) my a/drug addict b/f drinks more when he is off work any idle time he has from work is drinking,i stayed 2 days with him and was all the ready to come home he was already acting drunk by the time i left tocome home,my friend told me that i was or i didnt have any sense messing with him,sometimes i think by insan...	pattyann1963	3	716	Dec 30, 2010 by Debilyn
	What caused their drinking!???? (Preview) My former partner who I care for drinks because she was abused by her Father (sexual & violence). Most of the locals who gravitate towards her socially when she is out are also damaged people who drink or have other issues. I have not come across any of her friends who drink just for drinking sake, t...	Speck	17	892	Dec 30, 2010 by flinn66
	Keep the meeting going! (Preview) someone went out of her way to even get to a meeting t his morning. She wasn't even feeling well! no op was there. She led the group in the Serenity prayer and no one execpt myself said "amen." That discouraged her, so she left. Either an op can show up or the group can try to say amen after the Ser...	Data395	4	873	Dec 30, 2010 by lacewing
	Help please- VERY NEW and confused about whether or not to leave my husband... (Preview) Hello- I am feeling very desperate at the moment and could not wait until my husband left the house this morning so I could get on here and start typing. I am basically contemplating leaving my husband but he is making me feel like I am crazy for doing it. Here is the story: DH and I met about 7 years ago. I was...	Angeliki	14	942	Dec 29, 2010 by Mattie
	"Study Edition" of the AA big book? (Preview) Hoping some of our double-winners know more about this... I need to purchase a copy of the Big Book - my exAH took the one we had in the house with him (although it's not getting any use). My sponsor requested I keep a copy of the Big Book as part of my own step work in order to understand alcoholism. I read the...	Aloha	3	4613	Dec 29, 2010 by Jerry F
	Applying these principles to Life's challenges (Preview) One thing about the principles of Al-anon is that really everyone should use them, not just those who are affected by addicts.....I have totally detached from my A for the time being...mostly because he's been laying low...(Thank God!) but now I'm dealing with a crazy person who is not an A....but co...	sdisnie	5	1638	Dec 29, 2010 by flinn66
	My A quit AA. (Preview) I was saddened last night when my A ripped up his AA book and burned it in the fireplace outside. It is only a matter time time until he picks up that first drink again. I have seen him going down this path for several months and he inches closer every day. I guess he quit his program a couple of weeks ago. I...	clep	7	823	Dec 29, 2010 by Cloudsea
	Thoughts about Denial (Preview) I have noticed that my relationship with my A goes through quite recognisable cycles. On a day to day basis I think I choose to ignore a lot of minor issues that perhaps don't always suit me - but I tend to think 'ok not my way but how important is it?' In doing so it seems that the behaviours of my A become more...	flinn66	8	759	Dec 29, 2010 by flinn66
	another newbie needing help? (Preview) Hi everyone I can imagine there are lots of new people at this time of the year all with their own heartbreaking stories. I have only just heard of al anon and went to my first and only meeting last week. I went expecting to be given advice on how to help an AH and was stunned at what really took place. So m...	Fallon	8	693	Dec 29, 2010 by Angeliki
	update/ since i cannot delete this (Preview) I am up and down. Am doing better at giving it all to HP. I know he will give me the tools to deal with his change in my life. I am looking at it as a new chapter. Familiar always seems easier. But in reality, this place is huge for one person on disability to keep up. I like things tidy and kept up. Its hard, I cann...	Debilyn	2	834	Dec 29, 2010 by hotrod
	How to attract to alanon? (Preview) This has never happened before, because I never had alanon before... however, where I work, I am the front desk receptionist for a busy newspaper. A news reporter came down and had a phone conversation right in front of me. She asked the person if they had been drinking. She then told them they coul...	sunflowergirl	13	880	Dec 29, 2010 by living_with_my_a
	Merry Christmas to all! (Preview) I hope you are all having a great day :) Merry Christmas and Happy Holidays and Happy new year.... Heres to many serene days	sunflowergirl	4	443	Dec 29, 2010 by living_with_my_a
	Being drawn to people who aren't present (Preview) I've had a couple interesting revelations in the last few days. 1. My ex's brother and mother came out to visit him over the holiday and they wanted to meet up with me and do lunch one day, which I figured would be fine. The ex stayed away because his daughter was going to be there and he's still refusing to t...	Aloha	8	836	Dec 29, 2010 by living_with_my_a
	Decided to leave (Preview) I've packed up and I'm just about to load the car and drive away. The gravity of this move has just hit me and although I am finally taking control of my fates and no longer allowing his disease to rule my life, the pain of what I am losing is hitting me. There was so much potential, so much good that we could h...	anewyear	9	789	Dec 29, 2010 by living_with_my_a
	How do you explain your A's drinking to your children when your A is in denial? (Preview) I am just wondering something for down the road. My son is only 1. But I worry about how I will explain my husband's drinking to him. My husband does not think he has a problem so its not like he is in a program or something we could jointly explain to our son. I would have to basically go against my husband's w...	Angeliki	6	874	Dec 28, 2010 by Jerry F
	Is this normal A behavior? (Preview) The last day of our vacation, AH, the kids, and I went to eat at the restaurant that is located on the first floor of the hotel we stayed at. AH had heard that they brewed their own beer there, and he decided to try it. Without thinking, I shot him a look of disapproval, and he immediately asked what was wro...	kimmy1975	16	941	Dec 28, 2010 by danielle0516
	deleted (Preview) deleted because my husband reads my posts. -- Edited by eyeswideopen on Tuesday 28th of December 2010 10:23:23 AM	eyeswideopen	30	2149	Dec 28, 2010 by Jerry F
	I have my sponsor back. Yipeee (Preview) I had a fantastic sponsor about a year ago. When my A and I reconcilled I started going to a big book study as I saw a difference it made for him. I met a man who became his sponsor recently and the man's wife that ended up becoming my new sponsor. Things went downhill quickly for me. I was working an AA pro...	clep	5	738	Dec 28, 2010 by sunflowergirl
	Alcoholics in Al-anon? (Preview) I have noticed several times in my readings that I see things in my A that al-anon might be very helpful for. He is really struggling in his program it seems and doesn't get how to fix some things. Upon seeing what he is saying, the things he is speaking of seem to be the things I am learning in my program. ...	clep	8	1183	Dec 28, 2010 by sunflowergirl
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The material presented here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method to exchange information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal level.