SOOO nervous! - Al-Anon Family Group

hmeshow · Newbie

SOOO nervous!

Jerry F · ~*Service Worker*~

In support "H"...you go girl and when you get there keep a wide open mind and try
to keep the alcoholic baggage outside the door...you can if you want pick it back
up and take it with you but if you keep coming back you'll forget where you left it.

In support have a good first meeting. ((((hugs)))) smile

psssst...program saved my life.

hotrod · ~*Service Worker*~

Hi H and welcome We have all felt frightened before attending our first meeting . It took courage to walk in the rooms but we found that it was worth it.

Here is some useful information.

Alcoholism is a family disease. The disease affects all those who have a relationship with a problem drinker. Those of us closest to the alcoholic suffer the most, and those who care the most can easily get caught up in the behavior of another person. We react to the alcoholic's behavior. We focus on them, what they do, where they are, how much they drink. We try to control their drinking for them. We take on the blame, guilt, and shame that really belong to the drinker. We can become as addicted to the alcoholic, as the alcoholic is to alcohol. We, too, can become ill.

Al-Anon and Alateen members are people just like you and mepeople who have been affected by someone else's drinking. They are parents, children, spouses, partners, brothers, sisters, other family members, friends, employers, employees, and coworkers of alcoholics. No matter what our specific experience has been we share a common bond: we feel our lives have been affected by someone else's drinking.

Do I have to say anything at a meeting?

It is your choice to speak or not during the meetings. Newcomers are welcomed to meetings, usually provided with literature and a local meeting list, and invited to listen and learn. Some meetings offer beginners' meetings, specifically for newcomers. Members are available to answer questions before or after the meetings.

You are no longer alone and it is so important to break the isolation''

RLC · ~*Service Worker*~

(((Heather)))

I'm glad you are "taking the plunge". You will be around other members who have also been affected by someone else's drinking, and are walking in your shoes. Enjoy your meeting, soak in all the experience, strength, and hope that will we offfered. Consider staying a few minutes after the meeting for what we call the meeting after the meeting, and talk with other members because they want you to have what they have.

Heather after the meeting you will realize one thing for sure..........you are not alone anymore.

Keep coming back and posting and be sure to tell us about your first face to face meeting.

HUGS,
RLC

-- Edited by RLC on Monday 3rd of January 2011 05:23:30 PM

hmeshow · Newbie

Thanks!
I feel stupid because I am a 32 yr old women, my Dad has been in Heaven for 11 years now and before that he was sober for a long time.
The biggest issue is my mother who is co-dependent, she does not drink at all but displays all the traits and behaviors. My therapist said she is an "alchololic system".
Do I really belong at a meeting?

ythannah · Senior Member

Welcome, hmeshow!

I too am the adult daughter of a deceased alcoholic mother, and an active alcoholic father.

I attended my first Al-Anon meeting a little less than a year ago, full of anxiety -- and an hour later was wondering what I could possibly have been afraid of.

Had I been able to muster up the courage to attend Al-Anon 20+ years ago, I might have saved myself the heartache of several failed relationships with alcoholics. But it's never too late to undo the damage of growing up in alcoholism.

member922 · Senior Member

I think you will get a lot out of the meeting. I was very nervous going to my first one, but everything was ok. I was so warmly welcomed and was invited to sit next to one of the greeters, so I didn't feel out of place at all.

You have every right to be at that meeting. I'm not sure of the wording or anything, but I think they say that anyone who's life has been affected by alcoholism.

Good luck! I can't wait to hear about your experience!

Debilyn · ~*Service Worker*~

(c: Good for you! It will be wonderful and gets better and better over time.

They will be happy you are there.

Hope you will come back and share your experience!
hugs,debilyn

hmeshow · Newbie

Thanks everyone!
I survived.. everyone was very nice and welcoming. It was a very small meeting and most of us were new. I am interested in going to a more established meeting to get a better idea.
I am looking forward to going back smile

xeno59 · ~*Service Worker*~

H

Good for you... it took me 49 years to get here, and it's the best thing i have ever done for myself.
Work your program and it will work for you
There is a miracle out there for all of us, you just need to reach out and grab it!
You have already taken the first step.... keep on goin

Blessings

The material presented here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method to exchange information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal level.