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Miracles In Progress 12 Step Recovery Forums -> Al-Anon Family Group -> Al-Anon Family Group -> Im more than sick and tired and fed up. BTW Im new!
Post Info TOPIC: Im more than sick and tired and fed up. BTW Im new!
kristiekansas


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Im more than sick and tired and fed up. BTW Im new!
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Hello everyone! I'm going through a tough time. I kicked my husband out (again, I do it occassionally) but I've held my ground even when he tries to tell me hes hungry or he has no where to go (although when he wants to leave and drink for two days he always finds a place)  I feel like I have to option but to tell him I dont care, he cant come back etc. until he gets help. I dont hide my feelings, and he knows very well how I feel and what I want. I'm just sick and tired, more than and long past fed up with him, and I cant stand him anymore. He scheduled an appointment for an evaluation on Tuesday, but thats not enough to let him come home. I think he should start something before I allow him around me again. (I believe what you do, not what you say) maybe I'm being mean, his friends think I am, but I just cant support him while hes still drinking. He left us on Christmas to be with a drinking friend (and got drunk by the way) theres so much I could share. I could just explode!!! I'm so frustrated and no one supports me except my children. I hate that lifestyle and I dont think I should be nice about it or allow it in my home. He goes off an on the wagon-thus the issues with me kicking him out. If hes sober he can be around me, if hes drinking, I dont want him around at all, dont want to hear from himn, etc. etc. This is how I feel. I've never been to Alanon, although I need to find a group, and I needed to reach out ot others that understand. I would like input from you. BTW most people see me as a nice person, easy to get along with (except the drunks, they think Im a b* because I don't deal with them or support them, go out with them;, etc.) I work with children and have 4 of my own. I am responsible with my finances and take care of my kids, I even have my grandson pt. I expect good things out of my family. Im now 40 and am sick of dealing with immaturity from my husband. Like I said Im new to
Alanon, so I dont know all the things you may know as far as dealing with this problem, but this is how Im dealing with it and would like someone to give me some feedback and would like to make some new friends. Thanks.

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Debilyn


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You sound like so many here, me included!
"Getting Them Sober" is a great book to get you started. I just happened to find it over ten years ago, it is what startedt he change in my life.

You have some Al Anon skills down with out even realizing it so I have a great feeling Al Anon will be perfect for you.

In my experience you are doing the right thing. If they are not miserable from their using then how will they get sick enough to want to do their best to get on program?

They know what AA is. There they can find out where shelters are, where to get food, cloths etc. There are tons of options for them and about one for us, Al Anon.

You are so right, if he can find his alcohol and places to drink it, he can find a place to go. Sadly that is what is best for them. We want to help, but in helping we make them sicker.

My ex AH, does not mind living at the bottom. He is so very sick. Now so wet brain he has no sense. Seems to do GREAT in prison and jail. (dui's)Talk about enabling there huh? perfect.

You sound very good, mature, able to think about things rationally. You are protecting your kids. His disease can and does make us very sick. Tears us down, we do things we would never think of putting up with.

We tend to forget that life is not "right" with a sick A. After they are gone awhile we see what life can be.

We can only hope they get help for themselves.That is the "only" way out for them.

Glad you found us. Keep coming.
At the end of my share to you there is a site and number to find meetings in your area.

hugs,debilyn

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Putting HP first, always  <(*@*)>

"It's not so much being loved for ourselves, but more for being loved in spite of ourselves."

       http://www.al-anon.alateen.org/meetings/meeting.html            Or call: 1-888-4alanon
suave75


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I just kicked my fiance out 4 days ago. His behavior is unacceptable. I don't know to deal with the separation. I am kind of blaming myself. I love him very much. He is in detox but after that I dont know. I know I am tired of the drinking and drugs.

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Take it one day at a time. If that is too much take it a minute at a time.
nmike


~*Service Worker*~

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Welcome to MIP! There are those amongst us that have experienced what you have experienced. Keep coming back. Stick to your guns.

In support,
Nancy

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maresie


~*Service Worker*~

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I went through many an awful holiday taking the ex A's actions very personally.  I saw all his friends, mother, whoever as someone who he preferred to be with. What it always was that he chose to drink and use.  There was no dressing it up.   I could obsess about that but I can't obsess about his clear choice.

I'm glad you are here.

Maresie.

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maresie
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Miracles In Progress 12 Step Recovery Forums -> Al-Anon Family Group -> Al-Anon Family Group -> Im more than sick and tired and fed up. BTW Im new!