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Miracles In Progress 12 Step Recovery Forums -> Al-Anon Family Group -> Al-Anon Family Group -> Facing fears, perhaps?
Post Info TOPIC: Facing fears, perhaps?
Aloha


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Facing fears, perhaps?
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So tonight I'm being offered and interesting experience.

My sponsor and a couple other Al-Anon / double-winner friends are planning on going to a New Years celebration tonight. It's at a bar... I have no doubts whatsoever about how my double-winner friends will handle being at a bar around all the drinking. They're well enmeshed in their recovery in AA, I'm sure they'll be fine.

It's me, who might feel awkward there. This isn't just any old bar. For those of you who've been around a long time and know my full story, my exAH was also closeted gay. His being homosexual was one of the reasons I divorced him, because I could never be truly happy married to a gay man. The bar where this New Years bash is happening is at the gay bar my exAH used to frequent. There's a big cross-dressing contest going on and all that sort of thing.

I have my doubts my exAH will show up - he lives about an hour away from town now. I'm not sure what it is I'm nervous about... about running into him. Or maybe that I'm going to go in there eyeballing every man in there wondering if they'd had down-low hookups with him exAH. Maybe I might even be in judgement mode, just wondering how many men in there are closeted gay men living lies in heterosexual relationships while their poor wives suffer at home.

So, I'm wondering about going... I wonder if maybe this might be like a "face-your-fears" exercise... like putting a tarantula in an arachnophobic's hand, showing them they're going to be perfectly okay.

Interesting stuff. Sending this to God for now. My sponsor told me whatever my choice tonight, it just needs to be one that takes good care of me.


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Jerry F


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(((((Aloha)))))...choices are opportunities for me to inspect my recovery and keep it
healthy.  Stuff I use to do in the past which caused me to need to find the doors of
Al-Anon don't even make the "choices" file anymore.  Hmmmm  can't even imagine
anything about it anymore.  Have a Haoli Makahiki Ho.   (((((hugs))))) smile

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Debilyn


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Aloha, for me I am working at being healthy in every way in my life. I want to grow positively.

After you shared many things about this place, for me, it is not anywhere I would want to be. What does it have to offer you?

Who needs all the turmoil, drunks, fights, phonies?

Just my feelings. I see you more at a friends house, family. uno?

Love,debilyn

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Putting HP first, always  <(*@*)>

"It's not so much being loved for ourselves, but more for being loved in spite of ourselves."

       http://www.al-anon.alateen.org/meetings/meeting.html            Or call: 1-888-4alanon
Aloha


~*Service Worker*~

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I decided in the end not to go, and it sounds like I didn't really miss much.

I knew I would be in good company, so I wasn't concerned about getting drawn into a bunch of drama. Just didn't think it would be a positive experience for me to be at the bar the ex trolled all the time.

There are plenty of other opportunities to get together with friends and have a good time, and it doesn't have to be at a gay bar watching a drag show. ;)

I stayed home and nested instead. :)

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