Al-Anon Family Group - Al-Anon Family Group

member922 · member922

I am pretty pleased about my weekend plans. Movie with a friend tonight, The Kings Speech, all day to myself tomorrow and maybe see the abf on sunday night. I think I have come to the conclusion that I need more balance. He is not the focus of my life anymore. I am happy not seeing him every minute and time...

Meadow · Meadow

I'm new here. I've been married to an alcoholic for 38 years. After retirement he finished building a small airplane but before he could fly it he had to have a medical. His pilot's license was taken away from him because he had been drinking a lot again. He found a woman at the local airport who would fly w...

lostinchicago · lostinchicago

Hi, I am new to this site and have been to quite a few Alanon meetings. My AH has quit drinking 3 times in the past 2 years, neither of the times lasting more than a few months. I do not have a sponser and have not started my 12 steps. I am trying to get over the hurdles of understanding Alcoholism and life in gen...

Goodtillitsbad · Goodtillitsbad

So I've been doing really well! Got a new job closer to home and our son is really thriving (he's 21 months). My AH has been sober for a little over 8 months. It's very nice to see him more comfortable in his skin. He's only gone to a few AA meetings but he has been going to weekly therapy since August. I had als...

bekind · bekind

My 22 yo daughter has a problem with at least alcohol. In the area we live there is a huge problem with heroine and now bath salts and synthetic marijuana. She was hanging out with someone that recently died of a heroine overdose. Alcohol is her drug of choice and she says that she is has only used sy...

Otie · Otie

About a year ago I read "Codependent No More" and "Beyond Codependency" when I was exploring the subject of ego boundries. Great books, in my opinion, and they made perfect sense to me. I felt perfectly comfortable. In the past month, I have been reading everything on these b...

Freya · Freya

I'm really finding it hard to let go and let God. I'm filled with grief and sadness at the loss of my relationship with my partner. He told me three weeks ago he wanted a break to spend time taking care of himself. He is deep in his recovery and seems to be doing well taking care of himself, and making time fo...

Crazy Frog · Crazy Frog

I read this site daily religiously. I can almost reach peace because of all of you. But today is not the greatest day snow here not worth mentioning when we see whats happening in Alabama (all my thoughts are with you) I found out today my ah told his mother we were to separate and how cruel I am and how unwel...

Courage2change · Courage2change

Help! New to this and I need help. Anyone willing to mentor a willing participant?

maresie · maresie

As many of you know I grew up in a family where sexual abuse, physical abuse and verbal abuse were rampant. There were no limits on anything and I learned no boundaries. The royal wedding is a big trigger for me for many reasons. Where I work (in one of my two jobs) I have colleagues who are absolutely smi...

Aimee · Aimee

Last night I met with the woman who is now my sponsor! We are going to meet again tomorrow night and get started on the steps. I'm so excited to do this! I told my husband this morning, before I turned 30 I decided to lose all the weight I gained having babies (almost 50 lbs!) as a birthday gift to myself, and I...

Georgia · Georgia

what brought me to this place and face to face al anon meetings is a huge fight that my AH and i got into about 2 weeks ago. we are not usually the yelling and screaming out of control type fighters - we usually just clam up....which is not healthy either. but this fight was both yelling and screaming and p...

Jerry F · Jerry F

Aloha family...some of you know...most don't, that I am hearing impaired and was visually impaired up till last Thanksgiving...I got the gift of sight back at Thanksgiving...how awesome is that a HP deal? Because of my hearing and also because I use to have huge trust issues from my family of orig...

Rachel262612 · Rachel262612

I wrote this to my AH: I thought I would share. Dear "AH" I want to say that I love you very much. It is not you that I am angry with. I am angry with alcoholism. I have resentment towards "it" not you. It has been a long road, to understand. I think I understand now. I feel so fooli...

atheos · atheos

My family situation has just exploded. Again. I don't want to post any details of what happened on a public board, lest some member of my family who knows I'm in Al-Anon comes across it... but I am feeling abandoned and chased out of my family, and even though I know this will all blow over by next week I'm s...

pineapple · pineapple

Please check in! I've been reading about the tornadoes in the southern states and all of the damage and deaths they have caused. Please let us know you're OK.

youfoundme · youfoundme

How did those of you who have been where I am, let go, and concentrate on only yourself? I realize there is no MAGIC answer or cure here. I realize its work. I just have no idea, in any ounce of my being how I could ever truly let go and only concentrate on me. I don't know how... I feel so sad about this, bec...

Rora · Rora

Many my remember and know my story with my aH. Separated for 2 and a half years. We have a young son together. The marriage and the separation have included a miriad of trials and tribulations related to the chaos of alcoholism. I finally decided to divorce him in December and had divorce papers dra...

bostonlass · bostonlass

Forgive me if this is lengthy but it's my first post here. My name is Bridget and I am an adult child and a sister of two alcoholics, one who comitted suicide about a year ago. I was married for 6 years to a recovering drug addict who had been sober for about 5 years when I first met him and is still sober today....

katfshh · katfshh

Sunday my family is getting together for Easter. My AF is off somewhere drinking and has been since Tuesday. I had him leave rather than sit here and drink. But, my 19 year old told my mother. So, my mother is driving me insane right now. My father was an active alcoholic my whole life. He died almost two ye...

flopadopilus · flopadopilus

I went to our class with my AH on the effects of divorce on children. And it turned into a counseling session. The counselor asked us how we managed out time with the kids and if we kept them out of our fighting and how we share them. After we answered these questions the counselor asked us why we were gettin...

Saved By Grace · Saved By Grace

Hi Family, I'm having a really tough time tonight and need support and encouragement to walk away from what is not good for me. I have been with my abf for a year now. It has been a roller coaster ride. I went through helping him with his comp case (back injury), helped him get his disability, stood by him...

tommyecat · tommyecat

When I was new to the program my alanon sponsor suggested I read the AA promises each day. (Our group permits the Big Book of AA as part of permitted literature to discuss in meetings). When I read these trying to identify how they would work for for me in my alanon program I said after each promise, &quo...

Aloha · Aloha

Just thought I'd run this by the group, particularly for those who've actually taken on the role of Sponsor for others (and subsequently my own Sponsor when she returns a message I just left her.) I've been sponsoring someone since the beginning of the year. This has been such a fantastic learning and...

katfshh · katfshh

My AF went to the ER last night. They discharged him with a perscription of Librium. He is home now, looks like crap. He is remoresful, and says he is going to get back to his recovery. He had 8 months until three weeks ago. I kicked him out on Tuesday. By Friday night he was miserable. I really think that if...

White Rabbit · White Rabbit

"When I began to work at being really honest, I discovered that many of the things I thought I did unselfishly were pure rationalizations, tricks to get my own way about something." -Lois W. This is soooo true for me. When I got here, I really and truly believed that since my motives were so g...

KLotus · KLotus

Hi Everyone, Thank you for sharing your stories - I find they help me to feel less alone, more inspired. As I've written before, I am currently staying at my in-laws with my 11-month-old, while my husband has begun an outpatient treatment program and AA meetings. Today I am here alone with my daughter...

Jerry F · Jerry F

Real or imagined. Aloha Family...I just did another read of "dating recovering alcoholics" by Drummerchick and refocused...It's not about what is off kilter with "them" but what is off kilter with me...why I got into and stayed in recovery in Al-Anon and the major problem i...

Loupiness · Loupiness

Every so often I can look at a situation I handled and revel in the fact I did it differently. Now as each holiday passes, I am replacing bad memories with good. Toward the end of my marriage, there were many times when my exAH would choose not to come to a family function. Sometimes he stated illness or f...

atheos · atheos

I came to Al-Anon by way of another qualifier, but I am starting to wonder about my dad. Sometimes he's nice, sometimes he's mean (in a way that a lot of other Al-Anon members' sharing about their family members reminds me of!), and he does seem to have his mean times more often when there's alcohol invol...

louise_90 · louise_90

Hi, I'm Louise. Here's my story. I'm a 21 year old and for as long as I can remember my mum has been an alcoholic. She used to try to hide it from us when me and my brothers were younger and put us to bed early. But as we grew up we started to see her drinking more and it has effected our lives more every year. She is...

Very Very Tired · Very Very Tired

Yesterday, I posted a lovely thought about living the solution and not the problem. Lovely, wasn't it? Then, a crazy hits. And I decide to check up on my AH (AH is actively drinking extremely heavily and has had multiple affairs). AH found out I checked up on him. The result: an alcoholic rage full...

Evian · Evian

Hello everyone.... Talking to my AH the other day, and he was just in a rotten mood! I had just gotten home from work, and he called me, going off on me about how court went the week before. During that phone call, I realized exactly how far I've come since joining MIP and Al-Anon. I didn't react to him like I...

jocelgp · jocelgp

hello, the past months i have been trying to "detach" from my husbands drinking. If he would be going out or have a drink with friends i try to avoid being there. This coming friday he is asking me to go with him to a family friend's party. I know there's going to be drinking there. He told me...

Losthope · Losthope

Hi all, I'm brand new to this forum. I have attended about five face-to-face meetings so far and have found them very helpful. It has been tough for me to get to meetings because of other responsibilities and I don't have a sponser yet although I feel a strong need for one. My AH is an active drinker. He...

Wifey · Wifey

Hi, I'm a middle aged wife of an alcoholic and am in need of advice, guidance, or maybe just a good swift kick. My husband has been drinking for over 30 years, heavily on and off for the past 7 or so years. I had started therapy, so I've been able to begin addressing some of my issues, fears and concerns r...

Mobirdie · Mobirdie

My brain is so tired of searching for the five G's that I decided to cave in and come here and see if anyone knows which book they are in and what they are. I do remember a couple of them such as Get off his back Get yourself to a meeting Thanks in advance for your help

Georgia · Georgia

I started out reading "Alcoholism, A Merry-Go-Round Name Denial." If you are familiar with that. It talks about the various roles people play in the A's life. The Enabler, The Victim and The Provoker. Is it possible for one person to be all 3 roles? Because I am "it" for my AH...

Fiddleman · Fiddleman

Dear All, You have been of such help to me in my struggle with my 27 yr old addict son, especially Jerry F, Canadian Guy, Xeno59 and Karen L. Now, I am very sad because the police came last night to say my son had been found dead of an oxycontin overdose, in his squalid room in a house downtown on Sat. about 6 p...

Otie · Otie

http://www.marriagebuilders.com/graphic/mbi8W110_cod.html

kath · kath

I broke down this weekend and wished my ah a happy easter. We met at a neutral spot and had a really nice time with our daughter. He snooped through my phone and looked at a phone call made to me by this a friend of mine who is a guy. Since I am a terrible liar, I told him that I went with him one evening to get out of...

Crazy Frog · Crazy Frog

I have been married for nearly 20 years and discovered last year my husband is a functional alcoholic. it was a shock at first but it all made sense. He has been drinking forever but became more sophisticated with age. He started collecting "vintage" wine and going to wine tastings, old or...

youfoundme · youfoundme

I don't know what to do anymore. I feel very lost and sad. I have gone to alanon in the past, my bf is an addict and alcoholic. I am not sure if this is the place for me because I know what to say to sound like I am getting better and in recovery. I know the words that sound good... HE is not like I see describe...

Jerry F · Jerry F

Aloha Kakahiaka Ohana....Good morning Family. I am following thru on a recovery practice that I have just renewed of reading daily from my old, old CAL. I mean old and it is very conforting and powerful because I've got notes and phone numbers and member statements from 1979. It is like opening a t...

Peggy7 · Peggy7

The Awakening~~ A time comes in your life when you finally get it... when, in the midst of all your fears and insanity, you stop dead in your tracks and somewhere the voice inside your head cries out - ENOUGH! Enough fighting and crying or struggling to hold on. And, like a child quieting down after a bl...

torrylowenstein · torrylowenstein

Hello! I am new here. I am married to an alcoholic that has been through treatment, 8 years ago. He says that he has not had a drink since then. I just met him 3 years ago. Lately, he seems drunk...I am so puzzled. I don't smell anything. I have also been feeling drunk myself once in a while, and I don't drin...

Georgia · Georgia

It all seems so pointless. I have zero experience with alcoholics. I have no coping skills. I only recently made the connection that my husband (AH?) is an alcoholic. He has a family history of it. It is an almost daily issue. I guess he is what you call high functioning. He holds down a stressfu...

Debilyn · Debilyn

Yet another Al Anon skill appeared out of my toolbox without telling me. OMgosh, moving is EZ, even fun. The dealing with the world NO fun. Since March 23 I have been doing all I need to do to get satellite/internet/phone! It has been one cluster of bolony after another! I mean sending wrong stuff, liei...

mslouise · mslouise

This is a follow up to my previous post and I just need to vent. I was hard on myself, yet again, thinking that I'm just over analyzing things due to what I went through with my ex abf for years. Trust is hard for me, I know. I alway say I will listen better to my insticts then I always end up pushing them asid...

danielle0516 · danielle0516

Hi everyone:) My 11 year old daughter often gets frustrated in dealing with my mom (her grandma) and my sister (her aunt). I'm looking for some experience in dealing with similar situations or suggestions on how to handle these situations/how to discuss them with my daughter/what to say ect.. I do...

Suzannah · Suzannah

DON'T - I ask again - Are you thinking of quitting? You believed you could make a difference until they poured criticism and cold water on you. At that point you decided it was easier to adjust your expectations to their opinion and just give up. Don't do it; don't give up, keep smiling 'cos too much has...

maresie · maresie

Today I offered to cook a brunch for my housemates. I didn't expect too much and I really had to work hard on not making it a huge production. I got up at 6:00 a.m. to start preparation (one of them did help and it is a miracle in itself I actually asked!). One housemate who I suspect smokes dope left to go ove...

kimmy1975 · kimmy1975

Hi everyone! Gosh it's been awhile since I've been here. Things are really good on the home front with AH. It's been a good three months since AH has had any alcohol. I am not sure what made him decide to stop drinking, but he did. He never told me he was going to stop. I guess he was just going to let his...

Steph444 · Steph444

Hey all. I just got an anonymous text message telling me that my wonderful husband is at the strip club. Gee...He isn't home at 11pm.....hhhmmm....Glad someone took the time to let me know. I just smiled and rolled my eyes. It makes no difference to me where he's at. As for me, I have immersed mys...

roonpugs · roonpugs

Just had my 2nd Al Anon mtg today and both times I just cried and could not talk. I am hoping to be able to get past the hurt and anger with these meetings. Do the meetings take a lot out of anyone else? Just wondering because I feel so worn out after. Thx!

Very Very Tired · Very Very Tired

Last night, for my bedtime reading, I turned to the Big Book and read the chapter on "Acceptance was the Answer." I was struck by this quote: "When I stopped living in the problem and began living in the answer, the problem went away." (p.417) The lightbulb went off in the dark ni...

meow33 · meow33

Hi Everyone, I am new and have a super big problem this week. For starters, I am attending an open AA meeting this friday, it's a speaker meeting, i'm not sure what that is, but I will be finding out. I also plan to attend Al-Anon meeting as soon as possible, but with work and a toddler, I'm having a hard tim...

Valiant · Valiant

Hi, My Name is Valiant and I am a recovering meth addict, clean for 15 years. I got clean and sober when my father died of prostate cancer. I am now 54 years old. I was very high functioning in my addiction, nobody knew I was using except my connection and I was working and living in nice digs in Hollywood, C...

GailMichelle · GailMichelle

I attended my first Al-anon meeting last Tuesday. That particular group meets only once a week. So I decided to try another group meeting that meets on Friday nights at 8. Seems kinda late. Does it matter what night meetings are on in terms of the number of attendees? I got to thinking that perhaps o...

amanda07 · amanda07

I attended my first Al Anon meeting tonight. I was unsure what to expect, but I think I liked it and plan to attend another tomorrow night. After leaving my A bf of 2 years this weekend, I've felt a range of emotion. I've been angry, hurt, motivated, guilty. After attending the meeting tonight, I felt eve...

Topic		Started By	Replies	Views	Last Post
	Weekend Again??? (Preview) I am pretty pleased about my weekend plans. Movie with a friend tonight, The Kings Speech, all day to myself tomorrow and maybe see the abf on sunday night. I think I have come to the conclusion that I need more balance. He is not the focus of my life anymore. I am happy not seeing him every minute and time...	member922	7	785	Apr 29, 2011 by flopadopilus
	Patience (Preview) I'm new here. I've been married to an alcoholic for 38 years. After retirement he finished building a small airplane but before he could fly it he had to have a medical. His pilot's license was taken away from him because he had been drinking a lot again. He found a woman at the local airport who would fly w...	Meadow	6	910	Apr 29, 2011 by flopadopilus
	New and trying to understand (Preview) Hi, I am new to this site and have been to quite a few Alanon meetings. My AH has quit drinking 3 times in the past 2 years, neither of the times lasting more than a few months. I do not have a sponser and have not started my 12 steps. I am trying to get over the hurdles of understanding Alcoholism and life in gen...	lostinchicago	5	673	Apr 29, 2011 by flopadopilus
	Some positive news... (an update - long) (Preview) So I've been doing really well! Got a new job closer to home and our son is really thriving (he's 21 months). My AH has been sober for a little over 8 months. It's very nice to see him more comfortable in his skin. He's only gone to a few AA meetings but he has been going to weekly therapy since August. I had als...	Goodtillitsbad	2	809	Apr 29, 2011 by flopadopilus
	Tough love with daughter (Preview) My 22 yo daughter has a problem with at least alcohol. In the area we live there is a huge problem with heroine and now bath salts and synthetic marijuana. She was hanging out with someone that recently died of a heroine overdose. Alcohol is her drug of choice and she says that she is has only used sy...	bekind	3	1129	Apr 29, 2011 by flopadopilus
	Debriefing myself (Preview) About a year ago I read "Codependent No More" and "Beyond Codependency" when I was exploring the subject of ego boundries. Great books, in my opinion, and they made perfect sense to me. I felt perfectly comfortable. In the past month, I have been reading everything on these b...	Otie	7	1098	Apr 29, 2011 by flopadopilus
	I've gone over to the dark side... (Preview) I'm really finding it hard to let go and let God. I'm filled with grief and sadness at the loss of my relationship with my partner. He told me three weeks ago he wanted a break to spend time taking care of himself. He is deep in his recovery and seems to be doing well taking care of himself, and making time fo...	Freya	14	1013	Apr 29, 2011 by Freya
	I need to vent! (Preview) I read this site daily religiously. I can almost reach peace because of all of you. But today is not the greatest day snow here not worth mentioning when we see whats happening in Alabama (all my thoughts are with you) I found out today my ah told his mother we were to separate and how cruel I am and how unwel...	Crazy Frog	6	1018	Apr 29, 2011 by Crazy Frog
	I need help! (Preview) Help! New to this and I need help. Anyone willing to mentor a willing participant?	Courage2change	14	723	Apr 29, 2011 by tommyecat
	Limits (Preview) As many of you know I grew up in a family where sexual abuse, physical abuse and verbal abuse were rampant. There were no limits on anything and I learned no boundaries. The royal wedding is a big trigger for me for many reasons. Where I work (in one of my two jobs) I have colleagues who are absolutely smi...	maresie	3	864	Apr 29, 2011 by DreamXL
	I have a sponsor! I'm gonna do it! (Preview) Last night I met with the woman who is now my sponsor! We are going to meet again tomorrow night and get started on the steps. I'm so excited to do this! I told my husband this morning, before I turned 30 I decided to lose all the weight I gained having babies (almost 50 lbs!) as a birthday gift to myself, and I...	Aimee	4	960	Apr 28, 2011 by clep
	something i am pondering over (Preview) what brought me to this place and face to face al anon meetings is a huge fight that my AH and i got into about 2 weeks ago. we are not usually the yelling and screaming out of control type fighters - we usually just clam up....which is not healthy either. but this fight was both yelling and screaming and p...	Georgia	4	983	Apr 28, 2011 by maresie
	Listen with your eyes.... (Preview) Aloha family...some of you know...most don't, that I am hearing impaired and was visually impaired up till last Thanksgiving...I got the gift of sight back at Thanksgiving...how awesome is that a HP deal? Because of my hearing and also because I use to have huge trust issues from my family of orig...	Jerry F	5	869	Apr 28, 2011 by Andrea12
	Letter to my AH (Preview) I wrote this to my AH: I thought I would share. Dear "AH" I want to say that I love you very much. It is not you that I am angry with. I am angry with alcoholism. I have resentment towards "it" not you. It has been a long road, to understand. I think I understand now. I feel so fooli...	Rachel262612	8	1130	Apr 28, 2011 by GailMichelle
	Have you ever used your group's phone list? (Preview) My family situation has just exploded. Again. I don't want to post any details of what happened on a public board, lest some member of my family who knows I'm in Al-Anon comes across it... but I am feeling abandoned and chased out of my family, and even though I know this will all blow over by next week I'm s...	atheos	8	2615	Apr 28, 2011 by abbyal
	to RLC and others in the south USA... (Preview) Please check in! I've been reading about the tornadoes in the southern states and all of the damage and deaths they have caused. Please let us know you're OK.	pineapple	7	1053	Apr 28, 2011 by hotrod
	How did you do it? (Preview) How did those of you who have been where I am, let go, and concentrate on only yourself? I realize there is no MAGIC answer or cure here. I realize its work. I just have no idea, in any ounce of my being how I could ever truly let go and only concentrate on me. I don't know how... I feel so sad about this, bec...	youfoundme	12	1009	Apr 28, 2011 by White Rabbit
	I believe in miracles... (Preview) Many my remember and know my story with my aH. Separated for 2 and a half years. We have a young son together. The marriage and the separation have included a miriad of trials and tribulations related to the chaos of alcoholism. I finally decided to divorce him in December and had divorce papers dra...	Rora	6	822	Apr 28, 2011 by flopadopilus
	scared and alone - kicked husband out (Preview) Forgive me if this is lengthy but it's my first post here. My name is Bridget and I am an adult child and a sister of two alcoholics, one who comitted suicide about a year ago. I was married for 6 years to a recovering drug addict who had been sober for about 5 years when I first met him and is still sober today....	bostonlass	6	3641	Apr 28, 2011 by tommyecat
	Some one tell me what you think (Preview) Sunday my family is getting together for Easter. My AF is off somewhere drinking and has been since Tuesday. I had him leave rather than sit here and drink. But, my 19 year old told my mother. So, my mother is driving me insane right now. My father was an active alcoholic my whole life. He died almost two ye...	katfshh	13	808	Apr 28, 2011 by tommyecat
	Low self esteem would be an upgrade (Preview) I went to our class with my AH on the effects of divorce on children. And it turned into a counseling session. The counselor asked us how we managed out time with the kids and if we kept them out of our fighting and how we share them. After we answered these questions the counselor asked us why we were gettin...	flopadopilus	5	1169	Apr 28, 2011 by kitty
	Help Me See the Light Again (Preview) Hi Family, I'm having a really tough time tonight and need support and encouragement to walk away from what is not good for me. I have been with my abf for a year now. It has been a roller coaster ride. I went through helping him with his comp case (back injury), helped him get his disability, stood by him...	Saved By Grace	9	809	Apr 28, 2011 by tommyecat
	The AA 9th Step Promises (Preview) When I was new to the program my alanon sponsor suggested I read the AA promises each day. (Our group permits the Big Book of AA as part of permitted literature to discuss in meetings). When I read these trying to identify how they would work for for me in my alanon program I said after each promise, &quo...	tommyecat	4	5287	Apr 28, 2011 by linbaba
	Sponsor question #3! (Preview) Just thought I'd run this by the group, particularly for those who've actually taken on the role of Sponsor for others (and subsequently my own Sponsor when she returns a message I just left her.) I've been sponsoring someone since the beginning of the year. This has been such a fantastic learning and...	Aloha	5	718	Apr 28, 2011 by tommyecat
	He is home, update (Preview) My AF went to the ER last night. They discharged him with a perscription of Librium. He is home now, looks like crap. He is remoresful, and says he is going to get back to his recovery. He had 8 months until three weeks ago. I kicked him out on Tuesday. By Friday night he was miserable. I really think that if...	katfshh	6	1065	Apr 28, 2011 by tommyecat
	"Unselfish" actions (Preview) "When I began to work at being really honest, I discovered that many of the things I thought I did unselfishly were pure rationalizations, tricks to get my own way about something." -Lois W. This is soooo true for me. When I got here, I really and truly believed that since my motives were so g...	White Rabbit	6	927	Apr 28, 2011 by tommyecat
	Easter - alone, sick, and trying to surrender with Trust. (Preview) Hi Everyone, Thank you for sharing your stories - I find they help me to feel less alone, more inspired. As I've written before, I am currently staying at my in-laws with my 11-month-old, while my husband has begun an outpatient treatment program and AA meetings. Today I am here alone with my daughter...	KLotus	6	989	Apr 28, 2011 by tommyecat
	The problem is me (Preview) Real or imagined. Aloha Family...I just did another read of "dating recovering alcoholics" by Drummerchick and refocused...It's not about what is off kilter with "them" but what is off kilter with me...why I got into and stayed in recovery in Al-Anon and the major problem i...	Jerry F	11	1134	Apr 28, 2011 by tommyecat
	doing it differently (Preview) Every so often I can look at a situation I handled and revel in the fact I did it differently. Now as each holiday passes, I am replacing bad memories with good. Toward the end of my marriage, there were many times when my exAH would choose not to come to a family function. Sometimes he stated illness or f...	Loupiness	6	662	Apr 28, 2011 by tommyecat
	How do you tell if someone is an alcoholic? (Preview) I came to Al-Anon by way of another qualifier, but I am starting to wonder about my dad. Sometimes he's nice, sometimes he's mean (in a way that a lot of other Al-Anon members' sharing about their family members reminds me of!), and he does seem to have his mean times more often when there's alcohol invol...	atheos	9	1290	Apr 28, 2011 by tommyecat
	It's gone on for too long. (Preview) Hi, I'm Louise. Here's my story. I'm a 21 year old and for as long as I can remember my mum has been an alcoholic. She used to try to hide it from us when me and my brothers were younger and put us to bed early. But as we grew up we started to see her drinking more and it has effected our lives more every year. She is...	louise_90	8	1012	Apr 28, 2011 by tommyecat
	Need to get this out of my head (Preview) Yesterday, I posted a lovely thought about living the solution and not the problem. Lovely, wasn't it? Then, a crazy hits. And I decide to check up on my AH (AH is actively drinking extremely heavily and has had multiple affairs). AH found out I checked up on him. The result: an alcoholic rage full...	Very Very Tired	12	1060	Apr 28, 2011 by tommyecat
	Good Morning all! (Preview) Hello everyone.... Talking to my AH the other day, and he was just in a rotten mood! I had just gotten home from work, and he called me, going off on me about how court went the week before. During that phone call, I realized exactly how far I've come since joining MIP and Al-Anon. I didn't react to him like I...	Evian	5	884	Apr 28, 2011 by tommyecat
	SOS, what do i do? (Preview) hello, the past months i have been trying to "detach" from my husbands drinking. If he would be going out or have a drink with friends i try to avoid being there. This coming friday he is asking me to go with him to a family friend's party. I know there's going to be drinking there. He told me...	jocelgp	8	1030	Apr 28, 2011 by tommyecat
	Brand new here (Preview) Hi all, I'm brand new to this forum. I have attended about five face-to-face meetings so far and have found them very helpful. It has been tough for me to get to meetings because of other responsibilities and I don't have a sponser yet although I feel a strong need for one. My AH is an active drinker. He...	Losthope	9	792	Apr 28, 2011 by tommyecat
	New here, needing help understanding the alcoholic's thinking process (Preview) Hi, I'm a middle aged wife of an alcoholic and am in need of advice, guidance, or maybe just a good swift kick. My husband has been drinking for over 30 years, heavily on and off for the past 7 or so years. I had started therapy, so I've been able to begin addressing some of my issues, fears and concerns r...	Wifey	20	5622	Apr 27, 2011 by purpleraven
	The 5 G's (Preview) My brain is so tired of searching for the five G's that I decided to cave in and come here and see if anyone knows which book they are in and what they are. I do remember a couple of them such as Get off his back Get yourself to a meeting Thanks in advance for your help	Mobirdie	4	1770	Apr 27, 2011 by tealexis
	i have a couple of questions as i am reading some of the material (Preview) I started out reading "Alcoholism, A Merry-Go-Round Name Denial." If you are familiar with that. It talks about the various roles people play in the A's life. The Enabler, The Victim and The Provoker. Is it possible for one person to be all 3 roles? Because I am "it" for my AH...	Georgia	5	875	Apr 27, 2011 by abbyal
	Son died of overdose yesterday, please pray for me (Preview) Dear All, You have been of such help to me in my struggle with my 27 yr old addict son, especially Jerry F, Canadian Guy, Xeno59 and Karen L. Now, I am very sad because the police came last night to say my son had been found dead of an oxycontin overdose, in his squalid room in a house downtown on Sat. about 6 p...	Fiddleman	38	2222	Apr 26, 2011 by MichaelW
	In Gratitude/Codependency and detachment (Preview) http://www.marriagebuilders.com/graphic/mbi8W110_cod.html	Otie	2	3355	Apr 26, 2011 by Chelle3
	need to vent (Preview) I broke down this weekend and wished my ah a happy easter. We met at a neutral spot and had a really nice time with our daughter. He snooped through my phone and looked at a phone call made to me by this a friend of mine who is a guy. Since I am a terrible liar, I told him that I went with him one evening to get out of...	kath	6	944	Apr 26, 2011 by kath
	need an online sponsor Take 2 (Preview) I have been married for nearly 20 years and discovered last year my husband is a functional alcoholic. it was a shock at first but it all made sense. He has been drinking forever but became more sophisticated with age. He started collecting "vintage" wine and going to wine tastings, old or...	Crazy Frog	6	1434	Apr 26, 2011 by Crazy Frog
	Hello (Preview) I don't know what to do anymore. I feel very lost and sad. I have gone to alanon in the past, my bf is an addict and alcoholic. I am not sure if this is the place for me because I know what to say to sound like I am getting better and in recovery. I know the words that sound good... HE is not like I see describe...	youfoundme	9	860	Apr 26, 2011 by tommyecat
	ODAAT-Page 13 (Preview) Aloha Kakahiaka Ohana....Good morning Family. I am following thru on a recovery practice that I have just renewed of reading daily from my old, old CAL. I mean old and it is very conforting and powerful because I've got notes and phone numbers and member statements from 1979. It is like opening a t...	Jerry F	10	1285	Apr 26, 2011 by tommyecat
	The Awakening!! (Preview) The Awakening~~ A time comes in your life when you finally get it... when, in the midst of all your fears and insanity, you stop dead in your tracks and somewhere the voice inside your head cries out - ENOUGH! Enough fighting and crying or struggling to hold on. And, like a child quieting down after a bl...	Peggy7	9	768	Apr 26, 2011 by tommyecat
	Question... (Preview) Hello! I am new here. I am married to an alcoholic that has been through treatment, 8 years ago. He says that he has not had a drink since then. I just met him 3 years ago. Lately, he seems drunk...I am so puzzled. I don't smell anything. I have also been feeling drunk myself once in a while, and I don't drin...	torrylowenstein	12	1064	Apr 26, 2011 by maresie
	Newbie....will attend my first Al Anon meeting tonight..updated (Preview) It all seems so pointless. I have zero experience with alcoholics. I have no coping skills. I only recently made the connection that my husband (AH?) is an alcoholic. He has a family history of it. It is an almost daily issue. I guess he is what you call high functioning. He holds down a stressfu...	Georgia	9	1334	Apr 26, 2011 by tommyecat
	Oh, just get over it! (Preview) Yet another Al Anon skill appeared out of my toolbox without telling me. OMgosh, moving is EZ, even fun. The dealing with the world NO fun. Since March 23 I have been doing all I need to do to get satellite/internet/phone! It has been one cluster of bolony after another! I mean sending wrong stuff, liei...	Debilyn	12	1221	Apr 26, 2011 by Debilyn
	Update on what's normal and what's not - a women should always trust her intsticts (Preview) This is a follow up to my previous post and I just need to vent. I was hard on myself, yet again, thinking that I'm just over analyzing things due to what I went through with my ex abf for years. Trust is hard for me, I know. I alway say I will listen better to my insticts then I always end up pushing them asid...	mslouise	5	1053	Apr 26, 2011 by justjudy
	Raising my daughter to stand up for herself. Looking for some suggestions. (Preview) Hi everyone:) My 11 year old daughter often gets frustrated in dealing with my mom (her grandma) and my sister (her aunt). I'm looking for some experience in dealing with similar situations or suggestions on how to handle these situations/how to discuss them with my daughter/what to say ect.. I do...	danielle0516	11	1301	Apr 26, 2011 by DreamXL
	Are you thinking of quitting? (Preview) DON'T - I ask again - Are you thinking of quitting? You believed you could make a difference until they poured criticism and cold water on you. At that point you decided it was easier to adjust your expectations to their opinion and just give up. Don't do it; don't give up, keep smiling 'cos too much has...	Suzannah	5	1098	Apr 25, 2011 by GailMichelle
	progress not perfection (Preview) Today I offered to cook a brunch for my housemates. I didn't expect too much and I really had to work hard on not making it a huge production. I got up at 6:00 a.m. to start preparation (one of them did help and it is a miracle in itself I actually asked!). One housemate who I suspect smokes dope left to go ove...	maresie	7	1422	Apr 25, 2011 by flopadopilus
	Hi everyone! It's been awhile! (Preview) Hi everyone! Gosh it's been awhile since I've been here. Things are really good on the home front with AH. It's been a good three months since AH has had any alcohol. I am not sure what made him decide to stop drinking, but he did. He never told me he was going to stop. I guess he was just going to let his...	kimmy1975	2	978	Apr 25, 2011 by flopadopilus
	Text Messages (Preview) Hey all. I just got an anonymous text message telling me that my wonderful husband is at the strip club. Gee...He isn't home at 11pm.....hhhmmm....Glad someone took the time to let me know. I just smiled and rolled my eyes. It makes no difference to me where he's at. As for me, I have immersed mys...	Steph444	7	826	Apr 25, 2011 by tommyecat
	Meetings and after math feelings (Preview) Just had my 2nd Al Anon mtg today and both times I just cried and could not talk. I am hoping to be able to get past the hurt and anger with these meetings. Do the meetings take a lot out of anyone else? Just wondering because I feel so worn out after. Thx!	roonpugs	9	808	Apr 25, 2011 by tommyecat
	Solutions (Preview) Last night, for my bedtime reading, I turned to the Big Book and read the chapter on "Acceptance was the Answer." I was struck by this quote: "When I stopped living in the problem and began living in the answer, the problem went away." (p.417) The lightbulb went off in the dark ni...	Very Very Tired	5	908	Apr 25, 2011 by tommyecat
	Taking the wrong steps?? (Preview) Hi Everyone, I am new and have a super big problem this week. For starters, I am attending an open AA meeting this friday, it's a speaker meeting, i'm not sure what that is, but I will be finding out. I also plan to attend Al-Anon meeting as soon as possible, but with work and a toddler, I'm having a hard tim...	meow33	6	617	Apr 25, 2011 by tommyecat
	Intro-15 years clean and sober, new to Al anon! (Preview) Hi, My Name is Valiant and I am a recovering meth addict, clean for 15 years. I got clean and sober when my father died of prostate cancer. I am now 54 years old. I was very high functioning in my addiction, nobody knew I was using except my connection and I was working and living in nice digs in Hollywood, C...	Valiant	6	780	Apr 25, 2011 by tommyecat
	Friday Night Al-anon Meetings (Preview) I attended my first Al-anon meeting last Tuesday. That particular group meets only once a week. So I decided to try another group meeting that meets on Friday nights at 8. Seems kinda late. Does it matter what night meetings are on in terms of the number of attendees? I got to thinking that perhaps o...	GailMichelle	4	1080	Apr 25, 2011 by tommyecat
	Went to my first f2f Al Anon tonight (Preview) I attended my first Al Anon meeting tonight. I was unsure what to expect, but I think I liked it and plan to attend another tomorrow night. After leaving my A bf of 2 years this weekend, I've felt a range of emotion. I've been angry, hurt, motivated, guilty. After attending the meeting tonight, I felt eve...	amanda07	6	931	Apr 25, 2011 by tommyecat
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The material presented here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method to exchange information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal level.