Al-Anon Family Group - Al-Anon Family Group

Georgia · Georgia

I started out reading "Alcoholism, A Merry-Go-Round Name Denial." If you are familiar with that. It talks about the various roles people play in the A's life. The Enabler, The Victim and The Provoker. Is it possible for one person to be all 3 roles? Because I am "it" for my AH...

Fiddleman · Fiddleman

Dear All, You have been of such help to me in my struggle with my 27 yr old addict son, especially Jerry F, Canadian Guy, Xeno59 and Karen L. Now, I am very sad because the police came last night to say my son had been found dead of an oxycontin overdose, in his squalid room in a house downtown on Sat. about 6 p...

Otie · Otie

http://www.marriagebuilders.com/graphic/mbi8W110_cod.html

kath · kath

I broke down this weekend and wished my ah a happy easter. We met at a neutral spot and had a really nice time with our daughter. He snooped through my phone and looked at a phone call made to me by this a friend of mine who is a guy. Since I am a terrible liar, I told him that I went with him one evening to get out of...

Crazy Frog · Crazy Frog

I have been married for nearly 20 years and discovered last year my husband is a functional alcoholic. it was a shock at first but it all made sense. He has been drinking forever but became more sophisticated with age. He started collecting "vintage" wine and going to wine tastings, old or...

youfoundme · youfoundme

I don't know what to do anymore. I feel very lost and sad. I have gone to alanon in the past, my bf is an addict and alcoholic. I am not sure if this is the place for me because I know what to say to sound like I am getting better and in recovery. I know the words that sound good... HE is not like I see describe...

Jerry F · Jerry F

Aloha Kakahiaka Ohana....Good morning Family. I am following thru on a recovery practice that I have just renewed of reading daily from my old, old CAL. I mean old and it is very conforting and powerful because I've got notes and phone numbers and member statements from 1979. It is like opening a t...

Peggy7 · Peggy7

The Awakening~~ A time comes in your life when you finally get it... when, in the midst of all your fears and insanity, you stop dead in your tracks and somewhere the voice inside your head cries out - ENOUGH! Enough fighting and crying or struggling to hold on. And, like a child quieting down after a bl...

torrylowenstein · torrylowenstein

Hello! I am new here. I am married to an alcoholic that has been through treatment, 8 years ago. He says that he has not had a drink since then. I just met him 3 years ago. Lately, he seems drunk...I am so puzzled. I don't smell anything. I have also been feeling drunk myself once in a while, and I don't drin...

Georgia · Georgia

It all seems so pointless. I have zero experience with alcoholics. I have no coping skills. I only recently made the connection that my husband (AH?) is an alcoholic. He has a family history of it. It is an almost daily issue. I guess he is what you call high functioning. He holds down a stressfu...

Debilyn · Debilyn

Yet another Al Anon skill appeared out of my toolbox without telling me. OMgosh, moving is EZ, even fun. The dealing with the world NO fun. Since March 23 I have been doing all I need to do to get satellite/internet/phone! It has been one cluster of bolony after another! I mean sending wrong stuff, liei...

mslouise · mslouise

This is a follow up to my previous post and I just need to vent. I was hard on myself, yet again, thinking that I'm just over analyzing things due to what I went through with my ex abf for years. Trust is hard for me, I know. I alway say I will listen better to my insticts then I always end up pushing them asid...

danielle0516 · danielle0516

Hi everyone:) My 11 year old daughter often gets frustrated in dealing with my mom (her grandma) and my sister (her aunt). I'm looking for some experience in dealing with similar situations or suggestions on how to handle these situations/how to discuss them with my daughter/what to say ect.. I do...

Suzannah · Suzannah

DON'T - I ask again - Are you thinking of quitting? You believed you could make a difference until they poured criticism and cold water on you. At that point you decided it was easier to adjust your expectations to their opinion and just give up. Don't do it; don't give up, keep smiling 'cos too much has...

maresie · maresie

Today I offered to cook a brunch for my housemates. I didn't expect too much and I really had to work hard on not making it a huge production. I got up at 6:00 a.m. to start preparation (one of them did help and it is a miracle in itself I actually asked!). One housemate who I suspect smokes dope left to go ove...

kimmy1975 · kimmy1975

Hi everyone! Gosh it's been awhile since I've been here. Things are really good on the home front with AH. It's been a good three months since AH has had any alcohol. I am not sure what made him decide to stop drinking, but he did. He never told me he was going to stop. I guess he was just going to let his...

Steph444 · Steph444

Hey all. I just got an anonymous text message telling me that my wonderful husband is at the strip club. Gee...He isn't home at 11pm.....hhhmmm....Glad someone took the time to let me know. I just smiled and rolled my eyes. It makes no difference to me where he's at. As for me, I have immersed mys...

roonpugs · roonpugs

Just had my 2nd Al Anon mtg today and both times I just cried and could not talk. I am hoping to be able to get past the hurt and anger with these meetings. Do the meetings take a lot out of anyone else? Just wondering because I feel so worn out after. Thx!

Very Very Tired · Very Very Tired

Last night, for my bedtime reading, I turned to the Big Book and read the chapter on "Acceptance was the Answer." I was struck by this quote: "When I stopped living in the problem and began living in the answer, the problem went away." (p.417) The lightbulb went off in the dark ni...

meow33 · meow33

Hi Everyone, I am new and have a super big problem this week. For starters, I am attending an open AA meeting this friday, it's a speaker meeting, i'm not sure what that is, but I will be finding out. I also plan to attend Al-Anon meeting as soon as possible, but with work and a toddler, I'm having a hard tim...

Valiant · Valiant

Hi, My Name is Valiant and I am a recovering meth addict, clean for 15 years. I got clean and sober when my father died of prostate cancer. I am now 54 years old. I was very high functioning in my addiction, nobody knew I was using except my connection and I was working and living in nice digs in Hollywood, C...

GailMichelle · GailMichelle

I attended my first Al-anon meeting last Tuesday. That particular group meets only once a week. So I decided to try another group meeting that meets on Friday nights at 8. Seems kinda late. Does it matter what night meetings are on in terms of the number of attendees? I got to thinking that perhaps o...

amanda07 · amanda07

I attended my first Al Anon meeting tonight. I was unsure what to expect, but I think I liked it and plan to attend another tomorrow night. After leaving my A bf of 2 years this weekend, I've felt a range of emotion. I've been angry, hurt, motivated, guilty. After attending the meeting tonight, I felt eve...

Lostinthisworld · Lostinthisworld

Im 16 and my dad is an alcoholic. There is nothing i want more then for my family to stay together and be happy but i do not know when or if that is even possible. In the fall of last year we had an intervention for my dad, he refused to have treatment but said that he would just stop drinking. His drinking has g...

Tracy · Tracy

HI everyone went to a convention this weekend with some other members who have never been to a convention before it was great to observe their amazment and growth. As for me got so so much as usual. I went without my sober BF because I am just coming out of a slip and to tell you the truth he did not want to g...

JPMyra · JPMyra

Happy Anniversay to me today.......!! One Year! Myra in NH

Skyla Rose · Skyla Rose

So I've been in a relationship with an addict for 17 years. I've been married to him for 11 and we have a child about to be 6. Two weeks ago I filed for a divorce. I have seen him since and I believe he's on the right path. Now, I have to focus on my healing for me and my daughter. I'm going to my first Al-anon meeti...

Fiddleman · Fiddleman

Hello All, I felt like writing again since it is now about a month since my 27 year old son OD'ed on heroin and died here in MD where we live. I've reconstructed all the events leading up to his overdose, talked with police, gotten the med examiners report, etc and we had a memorial service for him on March...

onlythelonely · onlythelonely

This is my first time even attempting to talk out loud about my life. I come from a long line of alcoholism in my family. I am 27 years old and have a little bit of a drinking problem myself not to mention I am also an avid pot smoker. Well i might as well give you a quick run down of my childhood. I am the oldest...

nmike · nmike

Someone said this at an Alanon meeting recently. I tend to criticize others and find it hard to look at my part in all of this. I still react to the A (sober) who is in/out of my life. He gave me divorce papers a few weeks ago. I circled the errors and gave them back to him. He called irate because I circled the a...

member922 · member922

So I spent last year with the ABF. It was a beautiful day. We sat outside and laid in the sun. We also cooked Easter dinner together for the first time. So far so great. Of course he had to sneak away here and there to smoke, me being naive. By the time Easter dinner was served, he basically fell asleep in...

purpleraven · purpleraven

i drank too heavy several times when i was 18-22, i stopped because the hangovers just weren't worth it. eee-yecch. i've been a "sipper" during social events or holidays ever since. in my home, i've had good wine and brandy to cook with, and i've had mead because i usually enjoy it with a frie...

Hoot Nanny · Hoot Nanny

I am sitting here wondering if I should bother to make the trip home for my sister's wedding. I am 900 miles away & have to fly I think. My mom booked her flights a few months ago--come to find out the wedding wasn't planned until recently--around my mom's schedule. I found out yesterday. Can I spend a...

RobinKSC · RobinKSC

AL-ANON guidelines The Shared Experience Of Al-Anon and Alateen Members. Taking a periodic group inventory helps to keep your group healthy and invigorated. Members can use the inventory to discuss new service opportunities and address major or minor concerns before the group's unity is disru...

kath · kath

Just need to vent. The AH and I have been separated for over a year now. Have not seen him since first of January. He sends text messages. Yesterday he sent one saying that our daughter is the victim in this situation because I have basically kidnapped her from him and that he does not have a drug problem an...

pineapple · pineapple

This may be off topic, or maybe not. I belong to another forum where members take turns sharing daily quotes. Whenever I see a good quote I add it to my list for when it's my turn to share. I was looking through the list tonight and thought there were a few that fit into the principles of alanon: ¨Life's cha...

Aimee · Aimee

Hi! So i've started going to meetings and I know who I want to ask to be my sponsor. We have talked alot, and I know she's the one. She has been so awesome to me since I've met her, calling me every day, coming with me to meetings, and saying she will be there for me. We have a date on Monday to get coffee and talk....

shimo · shimo

I am unable to chair the Monday a.m. Al-Anon meeting. Hoping someone will be able to step up and chair the meeting for me. Thanks.

stargal · stargal

Hey everyone. Just got the news that one of our friends....Well, I know her and didn't really have a problem with her. Well, she died tonight at quite a young age...early forties. She was one of my A's party buddies. I don't want to see anyone die. How tragic. I was listening to my A on the phone with...

danielle0516 · danielle0516

Hey everyone, in a post by Chelle 3, someone had mentioned in a reply how she read that: "Alcohol interferes with the dopamine pathways and the impulse control centers in the brain." Going on to say tthat this means things like choice and will power are effected. I've read about this and oth...

katfshh · katfshh

I was here last year. After weeks of my AF on a "bender" he got very sick, ran out of money, and went to detox. He then went to sober living for a little while, and then we moved in together. At six months sober, he was working his program and doing very well, started his own business etc. We decide...

GailMichelle · GailMichelle

Didn't want to hi-jack the other post. So here's goes mine on same topic, but different question. When you ask someone to be your sponsor, how much time are you asking that person to give you? Taking up their time is bothering me. But.... I haven't found someone that really feels right for me, even to...

danielle0516 · danielle0516

My families' ignorant spewings of wisdom and "what needs to happen" continue to drive me nuts. Now, it's my sister. My mom has settled down, my sister has stepped it up, and I've recently found out (through my sister) that dad said something to the effect of I should have not intervened when...

drummerchick423 · drummerchick423

So, I posted before...I found out last week my exabf has been seeing his ex. I'm still, 1 week later, going around in circles about this. Here is the thing. I have a LOT of anger about this. I've thrown pillows..I've kicked things..and I feel like I'm getting caught up in circular irrational thinking. B...

maresie · maresie

As many of you have been here know the ex A (who I was with for more than 7 years) crashed the truck I had bought and eventually through a number of carefully crafted actions got all the money from the insurance company (he knew people who worked for a towing company). Its a long involved story and the ex...

flopadopilus · flopadopilus

I tend to give in and am seeing I am about to get ripped off in the divorce. I want the kids primary through the week and with him on the weekends, he wants 50/50 and no weekends is what he has gotten so far, so he can drink and party through the weekends and obviously he pays no child support. I am giving him the...

purpleraven · purpleraven

i had to be in court with my ex-husband this week, over custody matters, after child abuse. i've been fighting this same case for 3 years! i was so scared!, he was right behind me. when he spoke, i didn't realize why i was afraid of him, he didn't even try. when i stood up to speak, i physically felt like a wal...

mslouise · mslouise

Hi there....haven't been here in a while but have been reading some. I've worked really hard on myself and getting away from the 3 years of hell from my ex-abf (now been apart for almost 2years). I am totally off all anxienty / depression meds thanks to Al-Anon and my exercise program!! However, I ha...

Evian · Evian

AH and I had court today.. If you read my previous posts, then you know that CAS was taking us to court. Well... we have to have our own lawyers, and he has one, and I am still in the process, so had to use duty counsel. Needless to say, that was bull. She (duty counsel) read me what they wanted in the order, and...

pinkdaisy · pinkdaisy

Am I crazy for wanting a normal fit life. I hate the circle I am in right now I am still angry at him then the next i love him and I am calling him.. Oh wow I have issues. I want to be wanted and loved and enjoyed.. I am tried of not feeling good enough or like i deserve this. I am so comfortable in my marriage I dont w...

KLotus · KLotus

HI Everyone, Thank you for the privilidge of allowing me to join your online forum! As you can see, I am new at this. I've been in Al-Anon for two years now. In that time, I have gotten married, and now have a baby. My husband has stopped and started drinking several times. My daughter and I are current...

maresie · maresie

Next week will be 4 years since I physically moved out from the now ex A. For more than a year after I moved out I had contact with him and had the same chaos/crisis/space that was pretty much part of our entire relationship. 4 years on my lfe is very very hard. The financial inpact of living with an end st...

Loupiness · Loupiness

I know the title is familiar to many. Trying to wrap my head around how all my efforts to protect myself a few years ago, really just postponed the inevitable while enabling my exAH and his A g/f at the same time. Bleh! I spent about 15K on a divorce, and now the reasons and the details behind them are nu...

Chelle3 · Chelle3

I know that understanding alcoholism is supposed to help us to better live with active a's. There is one element of alcoholism that I can't reconcile in my head as being a disease, that of being able to quit if your will is strong enough... Please let me tell you what's led up to this and why it's affecting...

tj · tj

I feel there is something wrong with me. That I am in some way sick. I have an addiction. Me? I've never done drugs before in my life? Me? I don't even drink to get drunk - a few glass a year... My addiction seems to be in not caring for myself to the degree I should, but rather in devoting my energy to my husband...

Katy · Katy

Alot of what keeps me stuck is that I suffer rigid thinking, and also because I am a person that needs to understand how something works to beable to grasp the concept and so when it comes to something like an higher power, because I am wired the way I am, it is very difficult to trust something that I can't t...

flopadopilus · flopadopilus

Today after work I stopped by my exAH's (divorce won't be final until July) house to grab my daughter's bag, the girls were at my house. He says want to stop by tonight for a movie? I want to say no, but I say maybe let's see how the night goes. Then my girlfriend's mom died yesterday and I found out she is goi...

wifeofalcoholic · wifeofalcoholic

My husband has been very active in recovery and had been doing very well. He is in two groups with a great bunch of Christian men. Last night, I suspected he had some alcohol. Not drunk, however, being around him for so many years that he got drunk, I know the signs. Speech not quite the same, some cra...

Ness · Ness

So my son has re-appeared, he's been spotted begging again. I'm led to believe he still has a roof over his head. He's in a right state. Its taken him 4 weeks to undo the 9 months of recovery he had, so back to the way he was and worse, seizures, self harm et al. My thoughts are swinging left and right over t...

wifeofalcoholic · wifeofalcoholic

These boards are so comforting. I was so upset when I wrote my post and to see 15 posts with such wonderful information, advice and experiences has helped me so much. I love the lesson of "not asking questions when you already know the answer." I have done that in the past, but then my old se...

Topic		Started By	Replies	Views	Last Post
	i have a couple of questions as i am reading some of the material (Preview) I started out reading "Alcoholism, A Merry-Go-Round Name Denial." If you are familiar with that. It talks about the various roles people play in the A's life. The Enabler, The Victim and The Provoker. Is it possible for one person to be all 3 roles? Because I am "it" for my AH...	Georgia	5	864	Apr 27, 2011 by abbyal
	Son died of overdose yesterday, please pray for me (Preview) Dear All, You have been of such help to me in my struggle with my 27 yr old addict son, especially Jerry F, Canadian Guy, Xeno59 and Karen L. Now, I am very sad because the police came last night to say my son had been found dead of an oxycontin overdose, in his squalid room in a house downtown on Sat. about 6 p...	Fiddleman	38	2215	Apr 26, 2011 by MichaelW
	In Gratitude/Codependency and detachment (Preview) http://www.marriagebuilders.com/graphic/mbi8W110_cod.html	Otie	2	3058	Apr 26, 2011 by Chelle3
	need to vent (Preview) I broke down this weekend and wished my ah a happy easter. We met at a neutral spot and had a really nice time with our daughter. He snooped through my phone and looked at a phone call made to me by this a friend of mine who is a guy. Since I am a terrible liar, I told him that I went with him one evening to get out of...	kath	6	937	Apr 26, 2011 by kath
	need an online sponsor Take 2 (Preview) I have been married for nearly 20 years and discovered last year my husband is a functional alcoholic. it was a shock at first but it all made sense. He has been drinking forever but became more sophisticated with age. He started collecting "vintage" wine and going to wine tastings, old or...	Crazy Frog	6	1427	Apr 26, 2011 by Crazy Frog
	Hello (Preview) I don't know what to do anymore. I feel very lost and sad. I have gone to alanon in the past, my bf is an addict and alcoholic. I am not sure if this is the place for me because I know what to say to sound like I am getting better and in recovery. I know the words that sound good... HE is not like I see describe...	youfoundme	9	851	Apr 26, 2011 by tommyecat
	ODAAT-Page 13 (Preview) Aloha Kakahiaka Ohana....Good morning Family. I am following thru on a recovery practice that I have just renewed of reading daily from my old, old CAL. I mean old and it is very conforting and powerful because I've got notes and phone numbers and member statements from 1979. It is like opening a t...	Jerry F	10	1267	Apr 26, 2011 by tommyecat
	The Awakening!! (Preview) The Awakening~~ A time comes in your life when you finally get it... when, in the midst of all your fears and insanity, you stop dead in your tracks and somewhere the voice inside your head cries out - ENOUGH! Enough fighting and crying or struggling to hold on. And, like a child quieting down after a bl...	Peggy7	9	759	Apr 26, 2011 by tommyecat
	Question... (Preview) Hello! I am new here. I am married to an alcoholic that has been through treatment, 8 years ago. He says that he has not had a drink since then. I just met him 3 years ago. Lately, he seems drunk...I am so puzzled. I don't smell anything. I have also been feeling drunk myself once in a while, and I don't drin...	torrylowenstein	12	1054	Apr 26, 2011 by maresie
	Newbie....will attend my first Al Anon meeting tonight..updated (Preview) It all seems so pointless. I have zero experience with alcoholics. I have no coping skills. I only recently made the connection that my husband (AH?) is an alcoholic. He has a family history of it. It is an almost daily issue. I guess he is what you call high functioning. He holds down a stressfu...	Georgia	9	1320	Apr 26, 2011 by tommyecat
	Oh, just get over it! (Preview) Yet another Al Anon skill appeared out of my toolbox without telling me. OMgosh, moving is EZ, even fun. The dealing with the world NO fun. Since March 23 I have been doing all I need to do to get satellite/internet/phone! It has been one cluster of bolony after another! I mean sending wrong stuff, liei...	Debilyn	12	1213	Apr 26, 2011 by Debilyn
	Update on what's normal and what's not - a women should always trust her intsticts (Preview) This is a follow up to my previous post and I just need to vent. I was hard on myself, yet again, thinking that I'm just over analyzing things due to what I went through with my ex abf for years. Trust is hard for me, I know. I alway say I will listen better to my insticts then I always end up pushing them asid...	mslouise	5	1041	Apr 26, 2011 by justjudy
	Raising my daughter to stand up for herself. Looking for some suggestions. (Preview) Hi everyone:) My 11 year old daughter often gets frustrated in dealing with my mom (her grandma) and my sister (her aunt). I'm looking for some experience in dealing with similar situations or suggestions on how to handle these situations/how to discuss them with my daughter/what to say ect.. I do...	danielle0516	11	1292	Apr 26, 2011 by DreamXL
	Are you thinking of quitting? (Preview) DON'T - I ask again - Are you thinking of quitting? You believed you could make a difference until they poured criticism and cold water on you. At that point you decided it was easier to adjust your expectations to their opinion and just give up. Don't do it; don't give up, keep smiling 'cos too much has...	Suzannah	5	1085	Apr 25, 2011 by GailMichelle
	progress not perfection (Preview) Today I offered to cook a brunch for my housemates. I didn't expect too much and I really had to work hard on not making it a huge production. I got up at 6:00 a.m. to start preparation (one of them did help and it is a miracle in itself I actually asked!). One housemate who I suspect smokes dope left to go ove...	maresie	7	1405	Apr 25, 2011 by flopadopilus
	Hi everyone! It's been awhile! (Preview) Hi everyone! Gosh it's been awhile since I've been here. Things are really good on the home front with AH. It's been a good three months since AH has had any alcohol. I am not sure what made him decide to stop drinking, but he did. He never told me he was going to stop. I guess he was just going to let his...	kimmy1975	2	970	Apr 25, 2011 by flopadopilus
	Text Messages (Preview) Hey all. I just got an anonymous text message telling me that my wonderful husband is at the strip club. Gee...He isn't home at 11pm.....hhhmmm....Glad someone took the time to let me know. I just smiled and rolled my eyes. It makes no difference to me where he's at. As for me, I have immersed mys...	Steph444	7	817	Apr 25, 2011 by tommyecat
	Meetings and after math feelings (Preview) Just had my 2nd Al Anon mtg today and both times I just cried and could not talk. I am hoping to be able to get past the hurt and anger with these meetings. Do the meetings take a lot out of anyone else? Just wondering because I feel so worn out after. Thx!	roonpugs	9	800	Apr 25, 2011 by tommyecat
	Solutions (Preview) Last night, for my bedtime reading, I turned to the Big Book and read the chapter on "Acceptance was the Answer." I was struck by this quote: "When I stopped living in the problem and began living in the answer, the problem went away." (p.417) The lightbulb went off in the dark ni...	Very Very Tired	5	900	Apr 25, 2011 by tommyecat
	Taking the wrong steps?? (Preview) Hi Everyone, I am new and have a super big problem this week. For starters, I am attending an open AA meeting this friday, it's a speaker meeting, i'm not sure what that is, but I will be finding out. I also plan to attend Al-Anon meeting as soon as possible, but with work and a toddler, I'm having a hard tim...	meow33	6	610	Apr 25, 2011 by tommyecat
	Intro-15 years clean and sober, new to Al anon! (Preview) Hi, My Name is Valiant and I am a recovering meth addict, clean for 15 years. I got clean and sober when my father died of prostate cancer. I am now 54 years old. I was very high functioning in my addiction, nobody knew I was using except my connection and I was working and living in nice digs in Hollywood, C...	Valiant	6	768	Apr 25, 2011 by tommyecat
	Friday Night Al-anon Meetings (Preview) I attended my first Al-anon meeting last Tuesday. That particular group meets only once a week. So I decided to try another group meeting that meets on Friday nights at 8. Seems kinda late. Does it matter what night meetings are on in terms of the number of attendees? I got to thinking that perhaps o...	GailMichelle	4	1070	Apr 25, 2011 by tommyecat
	Went to my first f2f Al Anon tonight (Preview) I attended my first Al Anon meeting tonight. I was unsure what to expect, but I think I liked it and plan to attend another tomorrow night. After leaving my A bf of 2 years this weekend, I've felt a range of emotion. I've been angry, hurt, motivated, guilty. After attending the meeting tonight, I felt eve...	amanda07	6	928	Apr 25, 2011 by tommyecat
	my dad (Preview) Im 16 and my dad is an alcoholic. There is nothing i want more then for my family to stay together and be happy but i do not know when or if that is even possible. In the fall of last year we had an intervention for my dad, he refused to have treatment but said that he would just stop drinking. His drinking has g...	Lostinthisworld	7	722	Apr 25, 2011 by tommyecat
	convention = growth (Preview) HI everyone went to a convention this weekend with some other members who have never been to a convention before it was great to observe their amazment and growth. As for me got so so much as usual. I went without my sober BF because I am just coming out of a slip and to tell you the truth he did not want to g...	Tracy	3	852	Apr 25, 2011 by tommyecat
	My One Year Anniversary Today.............. (Preview) Happy Anniversay to me today.......!! One Year! Myra in NH	JPMyra	3	551	Apr 25, 2011 by tommyecat
	Hello, my name is Skyla and I'm a codependent. (Preview) So I've been in a relationship with an addict for 17 years. I've been married to him for 11 and we have a child about to be 6. Two weeks ago I filed for a divorce. I have seen him since and I believe he's on the right path. Now, I have to focus on my healing for me and my daughter. I'm going to my first Al-anon meeti...	Skyla Rose	7	911	Apr 25, 2011 by tommyecat
	Month since son's death (Preview) Hello All, I felt like writing again since it is now about a month since my 27 year old son OD'ed on heroin and died here in MD where we live. I've reconstructed all the events leading up to his overdose, talked with police, gotten the med examiners report, etc and we had a memorial service for him on March...	Fiddleman	17	941	Apr 25, 2011 by tommyecat
	I just dont understand!!! (Preview) This is my first time even attempting to talk out loud about my life. I come from a long line of alcoholism in my family. I am 27 years old and have a little bit of a drinking problem myself not to mention I am also an avid pot smoker. Well i might as well give you a quick run down of my childhood. I am the oldest...	onlythelonely	9	877	Apr 24, 2011 by Debilyn
	If you can spot it, you've got it (Preview) Someone said this at an Alanon meeting recently. I tend to criticize others and find it hard to look at my part in all of this. I still react to the A (sober) who is in/out of my life. He gave me divorce papers a few weeks ago. I circled the errors and gave them back to him. He called irate because I circled the a...	nmike	4	1069	Apr 24, 2011 by maresie
	Easter flashback (Preview) So I spent last year with the ABF. It was a beautiful day. We sat outside and laid in the sun. We also cooked Easter dinner together for the first time. So far so great. Of course he had to sneak away here and there to smoke, me being naive. By the time Easter dinner was served, he basically fell asleep in...	member922	3	752	Apr 24, 2011 by member922
	scared of alcohol (Preview) i drank too heavy several times when i was 18-22, i stopped because the hangovers just weren't worth it. eee-yecch. i've been a "sipper" during social events or holidays ever since. in my home, i've had good wine and brandy to cook with, and i've had mead because i usually enjoy it with a frie...	purpleraven	9	1117	Apr 24, 2011 by Aloha
	should I or shouldn't I ? need advice! (Preview) I am sitting here wondering if I should bother to make the trip home for my sister's wedding. I am 900 miles away & have to fly I think. My mom booked her flights a few months ago--come to find out the wedding wasn't planned until recently--around my mom's schedule. I found out yesterday. Can I spend a...	Hoot Nanny	7	1087	Apr 24, 2011 by tommyecat
	Taking a group inventory (Preview) AL-ANON guidelines The Shared Experience Of Al-Anon and Alateen Members. Taking a periodic group inventory helps to keep your group healthy and invigorated. Members can use the inventory to discuss new service opportunities and address major or minor concerns before the group's unity is disru...	RobinKSC	3	1031	Apr 24, 2011 by tommyecat
	Not reacting (Preview) Just need to vent. The AH and I have been separated for over a year now. Have not seen him since first of January. He sends text messages. Yesterday he sent one saying that our daughter is the victim in this situation because I have basically kidnapped her from him and that he does not have a drug problem an...	kath	10	854	Apr 24, 2011 by tommyecat
	Quotes (Preview) This may be off topic, or maybe not. I belong to another forum where members take turns sharing daily quotes. Whenever I see a good quote I add it to my list for when it's my turn to share. I was looking through the list tonight and thought there were a few that fit into the principles of alanon: ¨Life's cha...	pineapple	8	1600	Apr 24, 2011 by tommyecat
	Sponsor Question (Preview) Hi! So i've started going to meetings and I know who I want to ask to be my sponsor. We have talked alot, and I know she's the one. She has been so awesome to me since I've met her, calling me every day, coming with me to meetings, and saying she will be there for me. We have a date on Monday to get coffee and talk....	Aimee	5	870	Apr 24, 2011 by tommyecat
	MONDAY A.M. AL-ANON MEETING (Preview) I am unable to chair the Monday a.m. Al-Anon meeting. Hoping someone will be able to step up and chair the meeting for me. Thanks.	shimo	0	574	Apr 24, 2011 by shimo
	Having a Little Meltdown Tonight (Preview) Hey everyone. Just got the news that one of our friends....Well, I know her and didn't really have a problem with her. Well, she died tonight at quite a young age...early forties. She was one of my A's party buddies. I don't want to see anyone die. How tragic. I was listening to my A on the phone with...	stargal	12	760	Apr 24, 2011 by Bettina
	the brain and relapses (Preview) Hey everyone, in a post by Chelle 3, someone had mentioned in a reply how she read that: "Alcohol interferes with the dopamine pathways and the impulse control centers in the brain." Going on to say tthat this means things like choice and will power are effected. I've read about this and oth...	danielle0516	11	835	Apr 23, 2011 by Otie
	Here we go again (Preview) I was here last year. After weeks of my AF on a "bender" he got very sick, ran out of money, and went to detox. He then went to sober living for a little while, and then we moved in together. At six months sober, he was working his program and doing very well, started his own business etc. We decide...	katfshh	8	956	Apr 23, 2011 by katfshh
	Another Sponsor Question (Preview) Didn't want to hi-jack the other post. So here's goes mine on same topic, but different question. When you ask someone to be your sponsor, how much time are you asking that person to give you? Taking up their time is bothering me. But.... I haven't found someone that really feels right for me, even to...	GailMichelle	10	400	Apr 23, 2011 by GailMichelle
	addiction & effects on extended family. Looking for some ESH (Preview) My families' ignorant spewings of wisdom and "what needs to happen" continue to drive me nuts. Now, it's my sister. My mom has settled down, my sister has stepped it up, and I've recently found out (through my sister) that dad said something to the effect of I should have not intervened when...	danielle0516	12	1386	Apr 22, 2011 by danielle0516
	need help with anger and acceptance (Preview) So, I posted before...I found out last week my exabf has been seeing his ex. I'm still, 1 week later, going around in circles about this. Here is the thing. I have a LOT of anger about this. I've thrown pillows..I've kicked things..and I feel like I'm getting caught up in circular irrational thinking. B...	drummerchick423	16	869	Apr 22, 2011 by drummerchick423
	after the fleecing (Preview) As many of you have been here know the ex A (who I was with for more than 7 years) crashed the truck I had bought and eventually through a number of carefully crafted actions got all the money from the insurance company (he knew people who worked for a towing company). Its a long involved story and the ex...	maresie	5	918	Apr 22, 2011 by Jerry F
	Need advice on divorce with kids (Preview) I tend to give in and am seeing I am about to get ripped off in the divorce. I want the kids primary through the week and with him on the weekends, he wants 50/50 and no weekends is what he has gotten so far, so he can drink and party through the weekends and obviously he pays no child support. I am giving him the...	flopadopilus	8	1031	Apr 22, 2011 by Mattie
	we won! (Preview) i had to be in court with my ex-husband this week, over custody matters, after child abuse. i've been fighting this same case for 3 years! i was so scared!, he was right behind me. when he spoke, i didn't realize why i was afraid of him, he didn't even try. when i stood up to speak, i physically felt like a wal...	purpleraven	6	671	Apr 22, 2011 by youfoundme
	How do I know what is normal and what is not anymore??? (Preview) Hi there....haven't been here in a while but have been reading some. I've worked really hard on myself and getting away from the 3 years of hell from my ex-abf (now been apart for almost 2years). I am totally off all anxienty / depression meds thanks to Al-Anon and my exercise program!! However, I ha...	mslouise	6	884	Apr 22, 2011 by maresie
	Court today (Preview) AH and I had court today.. If you read my previous posts, then you know that CAS was taking us to court. Well... we have to have our own lawyers, and he has one, and I am still in the process, so had to use duty counsel. Needless to say, that was bull. She (duty counsel) read me what they wanted in the order, and...	Evian	4	585	Apr 22, 2011 by maresie
	RANDOMS (Preview) Am I crazy for wanting a normal fit life. I hate the circle I am in right now I am still angry at him then the next i love him and I am calling him.. Oh wow I have issues. I want to be wanted and loved and enjoyed.. I am tried of not feeling good enough or like i deserve this. I am so comfortable in my marriage I dont w...	pinkdaisy	6	856	Apr 22, 2011 by maresie
	Feigning Recovery and Marriage recovery marriage (Preview) HI Everyone, Thank you for the privilidge of allowing me to join your online forum! As you can see, I am new at this. I've been in Al-Anon for two years now. In that time, I have gotten married, and now have a baby. My husband has stopped and started drinking several times. My daughter and I are current...	KLotus	8	7073	Apr 22, 2011 by pinkchip
	4 years on new insights (Preview) Next week will be 4 years since I physically moved out from the now ex A. For more than a year after I moved out I had contact with him and had the same chaos/crisis/space that was pretty much part of our entire relationship. 4 years on my lfe is very very hard. The financial inpact of living with an end st...	maresie	5	751	Apr 22, 2011 by Ness
	paying for the sins of the A.. (Preview) I know the title is familiar to many. Trying to wrap my head around how all my efforts to protect myself a few years ago, really just postponed the inevitable while enabling my exAH and his A g/f at the same time. Bleh! I spent about 15K on a divorce, and now the reasons and the details behind them are nu...	Loupiness	5	835	Apr 21, 2011 by maresie
	One thing I can't understand about alcoholism.. (Preview) I know that understanding alcoholism is supposed to help us to better live with active a's. There is one element of alcoholism that I can't reconcile in my head as being a disease, that of being able to quit if your will is strong enough... Please let me tell you what's led up to this and why it's affecting...	Chelle3	25	5601	Apr 21, 2011 by maresie
	I might have an addiction?! (Preview) I feel there is something wrong with me. That I am in some way sick. I have an addiction. Me? I've never done drugs before in my life? Me? I don't even drink to get drunk - a few glass a year... My addiction seems to be in not caring for myself to the degree I should, but rather in devoting my energy to my husband...	tj	5	920	Apr 21, 2011 by glad lee
	rigid thinking? (Preview) Alot of what keeps me stuck is that I suffer rigid thinking, and also because I am a person that needs to understand how something works to beable to grasp the concept and so when it comes to something like an higher power, because I am wired the way I am, it is very difficult to trust something that I can't t...	Katy	4	772	Apr 21, 2011 by Freya
	Going crazy (Preview) Today after work I stopped by my exAH's (divorce won't be final until July) house to grab my daughter's bag, the girls were at my house. He says want to stop by tonight for a movie? I want to say no, but I say maybe let's see how the night goes. Then my girlfriend's mom died yesterday and I found out she is goi...	flopadopilus	6	661	Apr 21, 2011 by drummerchick423
	Help me with dealing with lying (Preview) My husband has been very active in recovery and had been doing very well. He is in two groups with a great bunch of Christian men. Last night, I suspected he had some alcohol. Not drunk, however, being around him for so many years that he got drunk, I know the signs. Speech not quite the same, some cra...	wifeofalcoholic	14	1634	Apr 20, 2011 by drummerchick423
	Update.....back on the radar (Preview) So my son has re-appeared, he's been spotted begging again. I'm led to believe he still has a roof over his head. He's in a right state. Its taken him 4 weeks to undo the 9 months of recovery he had, so back to the way he was and worse, seizures, self harm et al. My thoughts are swinging left and right over t...	Ness	6	643	Apr 20, 2011 by hotrod
	Thank You, Thank you (Preview) These boards are so comforting. I was so upset when I wrote my post and to see 15 posts with such wonderful information, advice and experiences has helped me so much. I love the lesson of "not asking questions when you already know the answer." I have done that in the past, but then my old se...	wifeofalcoholic	7	725	Apr 20, 2011 by John
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The material presented here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method to exchange information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal level.