Al-Anon Family Group - Al-Anon Family Group

DadtoCandE · DadtoCandE

I have heard a couple of share's in face to face meetings from veteran's talking about how they were just visiters in the first 6 months to a year of al-anon. I definately heard my perspective in those shares. Last Sunday I talked to my "temporary" sponser and asked if he wanted to work wit...

drummerchick423 · drummerchick423

Whenever I go nuts, asking myself why my exabf did this, or said that...I think back to how I had red flags about his alcoholism from the beginning, yet I chose to stay. I am trying to focus on MY part in everything rather than his, because I can't change him. Anyway, whenever I feel puzzled by his behavior...

Rachel262612 · Rachel262612

can someone tell me how to get a sponsor. I am feeling so defeated right now. I just feel so sick, with a whirlwind of emotions. I swear I feel like my head is going to explode. right now, I don't even know why I am so freaking angry with my AH, I mean I generally know, but nothing inparticular. I swear, I jus...

danielle0516 · danielle0516

Hi everyone... Nice subject line eh? Ya, I'm thinking that's what I'll call my book. lol, just kidding. I'll try not to go into too much boring detail about my job and this particular incident.... but, I'm a talker so... prepare yourselves;) ok.. nevermind, I just typed a bunch and realized I can't go i...

clep · clep

With my A on his step two things are getting worse. I am doing the very best I can, and at times like this morning all I can do is shut my mouth, ignore him and go on with my day. I feel like hitting him lots of the time the last week. I spend time working on myself, determing what is right for me. My A gives me fi...

Hoot Nanny · Hoot Nanny

I am going to take this slowly & easy today! I have not be on MIP siince April 6th I believe & believe me I miss it & all of you! What I want to share today is that I am sooo tired again because of the anxiety & stress of going to CA next month. I have been trying to think of other things & have...

tommyecat · tommyecat

Have any of you guys have heard a poem that begins with "You Gottawanna" I heard someone mention it in my face to face meeting this morning and the parts that the person remembered were great. A few of the lines in it "You gottawanna go to meetings" and "You gottawanna work...

wildthang86 · wildthang86

Yeah maybe a baby. My middle son, who is 21 and lives at home, just told me that his GF may be pregnant. They don't know yet. I am in shock!! I know he isn't ready to be a father nor is she ready to be a mother. Nor am I ready to be a grandmother. Not that that matters much, honeslty. I have been sworn to secrecy and...

Very Very Tired · Very Very Tired

OK, I know that lies shouldn't come as a surprise to me. They really shouldn't. And, quite honestly, I've come to expect the Big Lies about infidelities and drinking. I guess I can almost understand the Big Lies: it's too painful for AH to tell the Big Truths and face himself and his actions. I just d...

Mattie · Mattie

My son and I are living far from our usual home right now and my exAH -- my son's dad -- has come to visit our son for ten days. He is staying with us. He is a binge drinker who goes for long periods sober or at least appearing so, so I knew the chances were good that he wouldn't be actively drunk while he was her...

tommyecat · tommyecat

I went to a face to face meeting yesterday and this reading was part of our topic, Letting go. I really got a lot out of it... In the past, joy was a rare visitor to many of us. Al-Anon recovery often leads us to find it more frequently. But instead of sitting back and enjoying these pleasant moments, we t...

Gailey · Gailey

My dil and gd have returned to Japan. It was really hard saying goodbye to them on Easter Sunday. They were with us for a month with my son there for the last 10 days of their stay. They all returned together which I was happy about. I decided since we no longer had a house full of people we would take a trip to o...

Courage2change · Courage2change

In early September, I started dating a guy who seemed to be a fairly nice guy. Seemed like he had spirituality, was working a program, had 15 years sober & clean, we both hit it right off and we had a wonderful time hanging out together. No physical. Just friendship. It was great. Then one night i...

atheos · atheos

I had a really bad week. I didn't find the guts to use the phone list when I needed to talk to someone. Today I almost didn't drag my butt out of bed to go to a meeting, but I am SO GLAD I did... I didn't talk at the meeting. I'm too new to have anything relevant to share about such a high-numbered step, and everyo...

gladysg · gladysg

So glad I've found you all online. The meetings are wonderful, as well as the forum. It feels so good to know that others understand me and have been there. I am doing things to help myself. After doing these steps, the biggest thing I see in my writings is fear. I am afraid I will be homeless, afraid I w...

flopadopilus · flopadopilus

I was born into a highly dysfunctional home and was made to be codependent early on. I had all kinds of abuse coming at me and by the time I was 12, I was thinking about suicide because my life had become unmanageable. I verbally over explained myself to everyone that would listen for a decade. When I was in...

likemyheart · likemyheart

I read the posts, see in the words, so much pain and it all seems to be the SAME pain I am so sorry that so many feel so much of the same pain. How as a mother, do I tell, no, WARN, my child about how to steer clear of this trap? For it IS a trap! They are clever, false, tricksy, have been manipulating for so long it i...

tommyecat · tommyecat

I found a copy of this at my home group last summer. Thought it would brighten everyones day. Enjoy! 1. An increased tendency to let things happen rather than make them happen. 2. Frequent attacks of smiling. 3. Feelings of being connected with others and nature. 4. Frequent overwhelming episodes...

member922 · member922

I am pretty pleased about my weekend plans. Movie with a friend tonight, The Kings Speech, all day to myself tomorrow and maybe see the abf on sunday night. I think I have come to the conclusion that I need more balance. He is not the focus of my life anymore. I am happy not seeing him every minute and time...

Meadow · Meadow

I'm new here. I've been married to an alcoholic for 38 years. After retirement he finished building a small airplane but before he could fly it he had to have a medical. His pilot's license was taken away from him because he had been drinking a lot again. He found a woman at the local airport who would fly w...

lostinchicago · lostinchicago

Hi, I am new to this site and have been to quite a few Alanon meetings. My AH has quit drinking 3 times in the past 2 years, neither of the times lasting more than a few months. I do not have a sponser and have not started my 12 steps. I am trying to get over the hurdles of understanding Alcoholism and life in gen...

Goodtillitsbad · Goodtillitsbad

So I've been doing really well! Got a new job closer to home and our son is really thriving (he's 21 months). My AH has been sober for a little over 8 months. It's very nice to see him more comfortable in his skin. He's only gone to a few AA meetings but he has been going to weekly therapy since August. I had als...

bekind · bekind

My 22 yo daughter has a problem with at least alcohol. In the area we live there is a huge problem with heroine and now bath salts and synthetic marijuana. She was hanging out with someone that recently died of a heroine overdose. Alcohol is her drug of choice and she says that she is has only used sy...

Otie · Otie

About a year ago I read "Codependent No More" and "Beyond Codependency" when I was exploring the subject of ego boundries. Great books, in my opinion, and they made perfect sense to me. I felt perfectly comfortable. In the past month, I have been reading everything on these b...

Freya · Freya

I'm really finding it hard to let go and let God. I'm filled with grief and sadness at the loss of my relationship with my partner. He told me three weeks ago he wanted a break to spend time taking care of himself. He is deep in his recovery and seems to be doing well taking care of himself, and making time fo...

Crazy Frog · Crazy Frog

I read this site daily religiously. I can almost reach peace because of all of you. But today is not the greatest day snow here not worth mentioning when we see whats happening in Alabama (all my thoughts are with you) I found out today my ah told his mother we were to separate and how cruel I am and how unwel...

Courage2change · Courage2change

Help! New to this and I need help. Anyone willing to mentor a willing participant?

maresie · maresie

As many of you know I grew up in a family where sexual abuse, physical abuse and verbal abuse were rampant. There were no limits on anything and I learned no boundaries. The royal wedding is a big trigger for me for many reasons. Where I work (in one of my two jobs) I have colleagues who are absolutely smi...

Aimee · Aimee

Last night I met with the woman who is now my sponsor! We are going to meet again tomorrow night and get started on the steps. I'm so excited to do this! I told my husband this morning, before I turned 30 I decided to lose all the weight I gained having babies (almost 50 lbs!) as a birthday gift to myself, and I...

Georgia · Georgia

what brought me to this place and face to face al anon meetings is a huge fight that my AH and i got into about 2 weeks ago. we are not usually the yelling and screaming out of control type fighters - we usually just clam up....which is not healthy either. but this fight was both yelling and screaming and p...

Jerry F · Jerry F

Aloha family...some of you know...most don't, that I am hearing impaired and was visually impaired up till last Thanksgiving...I got the gift of sight back at Thanksgiving...how awesome is that a HP deal? Because of my hearing and also because I use to have huge trust issues from my family of orig...

Rachel262612 · Rachel262612

I wrote this to my AH: I thought I would share. Dear "AH" I want to say that I love you very much. It is not you that I am angry with. I am angry with alcoholism. I have resentment towards "it" not you. It has been a long road, to understand. I think I understand now. I feel so fooli...

atheos · atheos

My family situation has just exploded. Again. I don't want to post any details of what happened on a public board, lest some member of my family who knows I'm in Al-Anon comes across it... but I am feeling abandoned and chased out of my family, and even though I know this will all blow over by next week I'm s...

pineapple · pineapple

Please check in! I've been reading about the tornadoes in the southern states and all of the damage and deaths they have caused. Please let us know you're OK.

youfoundme · youfoundme

How did those of you who have been where I am, let go, and concentrate on only yourself? I realize there is no MAGIC answer or cure here. I realize its work. I just have no idea, in any ounce of my being how I could ever truly let go and only concentrate on me. I don't know how... I feel so sad about this, bec...

Rora · Rora

Many my remember and know my story with my aH. Separated for 2 and a half years. We have a young son together. The marriage and the separation have included a miriad of trials and tribulations related to the chaos of alcoholism. I finally decided to divorce him in December and had divorce papers dra...

bostonlass · bostonlass

Forgive me if this is lengthy but it's my first post here. My name is Bridget and I am an adult child and a sister of two alcoholics, one who comitted suicide about a year ago. I was married for 6 years to a recovering drug addict who had been sober for about 5 years when I first met him and is still sober today....

katfshh · katfshh

Sunday my family is getting together for Easter. My AF is off somewhere drinking and has been since Tuesday. I had him leave rather than sit here and drink. But, my 19 year old told my mother. So, my mother is driving me insane right now. My father was an active alcoholic my whole life. He died almost two ye...

flopadopilus · flopadopilus

I went to our class with my AH on the effects of divorce on children. And it turned into a counseling session. The counselor asked us how we managed out time with the kids and if we kept them out of our fighting and how we share them. After we answered these questions the counselor asked us why we were gettin...

Saved By Grace · Saved By Grace

Hi Family, I'm having a really tough time tonight and need support and encouragement to walk away from what is not good for me. I have been with my abf for a year now. It has been a roller coaster ride. I went through helping him with his comp case (back injury), helped him get his disability, stood by him...

tommyecat · tommyecat

When I was new to the program my alanon sponsor suggested I read the AA promises each day. (Our group permits the Big Book of AA as part of permitted literature to discuss in meetings). When I read these trying to identify how they would work for for me in my alanon program I said after each promise, &quo...

Aloha · Aloha

Just thought I'd run this by the group, particularly for those who've actually taken on the role of Sponsor for others (and subsequently my own Sponsor when she returns a message I just left her.) I've been sponsoring someone since the beginning of the year. This has been such a fantastic learning and...

katfshh · katfshh

My AF went to the ER last night. They discharged him with a perscription of Librium. He is home now, looks like crap. He is remoresful, and says he is going to get back to his recovery. He had 8 months until three weeks ago. I kicked him out on Tuesday. By Friday night he was miserable. I really think that if...

White Rabbit · White Rabbit

"When I began to work at being really honest, I discovered that many of the things I thought I did unselfishly were pure rationalizations, tricks to get my own way about something." -Lois W. This is soooo true for me. When I got here, I really and truly believed that since my motives were so g...

KLotus · KLotus

Hi Everyone, Thank you for sharing your stories - I find they help me to feel less alone, more inspired. As I've written before, I am currently staying at my in-laws with my 11-month-old, while my husband has begun an outpatient treatment program and AA meetings. Today I am here alone with my daughter...

Jerry F · Jerry F

Real or imagined. Aloha Family...I just did another read of "dating recovering alcoholics" by Drummerchick and refocused...It's not about what is off kilter with "them" but what is off kilter with me...why I got into and stayed in recovery in Al-Anon and the major problem i...

Loupiness · Loupiness

Every so often I can look at a situation I handled and revel in the fact I did it differently. Now as each holiday passes, I am replacing bad memories with good. Toward the end of my marriage, there were many times when my exAH would choose not to come to a family function. Sometimes he stated illness or f...

atheos · atheos

I came to Al-Anon by way of another qualifier, but I am starting to wonder about my dad. Sometimes he's nice, sometimes he's mean (in a way that a lot of other Al-Anon members' sharing about their family members reminds me of!), and he does seem to have his mean times more often when there's alcohol invol...

louise_90 · louise_90

Hi, I'm Louise. Here's my story. I'm a 21 year old and for as long as I can remember my mum has been an alcoholic. She used to try to hide it from us when me and my brothers were younger and put us to bed early. But as we grew up we started to see her drinking more and it has effected our lives more every year. She is...

Very Very Tired · Very Very Tired

Yesterday, I posted a lovely thought about living the solution and not the problem. Lovely, wasn't it? Then, a crazy hits. And I decide to check up on my AH (AH is actively drinking extremely heavily and has had multiple affairs). AH found out I checked up on him. The result: an alcoholic rage full...

Evian · Evian

Hello everyone.... Talking to my AH the other day, and he was just in a rotten mood! I had just gotten home from work, and he called me, going off on me about how court went the week before. During that phone call, I realized exactly how far I've come since joining MIP and Al-Anon. I didn't react to him like I...

jocelgp · jocelgp

hello, the past months i have been trying to "detach" from my husbands drinking. If he would be going out or have a drink with friends i try to avoid being there. This coming friday he is asking me to go with him to a family friend's party. I know there's going to be drinking there. He told me...

Losthope · Losthope

Hi all, I'm brand new to this forum. I have attended about five face-to-face meetings so far and have found them very helpful. It has been tough for me to get to meetings because of other responsibilities and I don't have a sponser yet although I feel a strong need for one. My AH is an active drinker. He...

Wifey · Wifey

Hi, I'm a middle aged wife of an alcoholic and am in need of advice, guidance, or maybe just a good swift kick. My husband has been drinking for over 30 years, heavily on and off for the past 7 or so years. I had started therapy, so I've been able to begin addressing some of my issues, fears and concerns r...

Mobirdie · Mobirdie

My brain is so tired of searching for the five G's that I decided to cave in and come here and see if anyone knows which book they are in and what they are. I do remember a couple of them such as Get off his back Get yourself to a meeting Thanks in advance for your help

Georgia · Georgia

I started out reading "Alcoholism, A Merry-Go-Round Name Denial." If you are familiar with that. It talks about the various roles people play in the A's life. The Enabler, The Victim and The Provoker. Is it possible for one person to be all 3 roles? Because I am "it" for my AH...

Fiddleman · Fiddleman

Dear All, You have been of such help to me in my struggle with my 27 yr old addict son, especially Jerry F, Canadian Guy, Xeno59 and Karen L. Now, I am very sad because the police came last night to say my son had been found dead of an oxycontin overdose, in his squalid room in a house downtown on Sat. about 6 p...

Otie · Otie

http://www.marriagebuilders.com/graphic/mbi8W110_cod.html

kath · kath

I broke down this weekend and wished my ah a happy easter. We met at a neutral spot and had a really nice time with our daughter. He snooped through my phone and looked at a phone call made to me by this a friend of mine who is a guy. Since I am a terrible liar, I told him that I went with him one evening to get out of...

Crazy Frog · Crazy Frog

I have been married for nearly 20 years and discovered last year my husband is a functional alcoholic. it was a shock at first but it all made sense. He has been drinking forever but became more sophisticated with age. He started collecting "vintage" wine and going to wine tastings, old or...

Topic		Started By	Replies	Views	Last Post
	visiting al-anon (Preview) I have heard a couple of share's in face to face meetings from veteran's talking about how they were just visiters in the first 6 months to a year of al-anon. I definately heard my perspective in those shares. Last Sunday I talked to my "temporary" sponser and asked if he wanted to work wit...	DadtoCandE	8	889	Apr 30, 2011 by maryjane
	the scorpion and the frog (Preview) Whenever I go nuts, asking myself why my exabf did this, or said that...I think back to how I had red flags about his alcoholism from the beginning, yet I chose to stay. I am trying to focus on MY part in everything rather than his, because I can't change him. Anyway, whenever I feel puzzled by his behavior...	drummerchick423	3	900	Apr 30, 2011 by flopadopilus
	how do you get a sponsor? (Preview) can someone tell me how to get a sponsor. I am feeling so defeated right now. I just feel so sick, with a whirlwind of emotions. I swear I feel like my head is going to explode. right now, I don't even know why I am so freaking angry with my AH, I mean I generally know, but nothing inparticular. I swear, I jus...	Rachel262612	3	4212	Apr 30, 2011 by Jerry F
	standing up for yourself: a story about overcoming fear (Preview) Hi everyone... Nice subject line eh? Ya, I'm thinking that's what I'll call my book. lol, just kidding. I'll try not to go into too much boring detail about my job and this particular incident.... but, I'm a talker so... prepare yourselves;) ok.. nevermind, I just typed a bunch and realized I can't go i...	danielle0516	7	1353	Apr 30, 2011 by danielle0516
	Feeling overwhelmed this last few days (Preview) With my A on his step two things are getting worse. I am doing the very best I can, and at times like this morning all I can do is shut my mouth, ignore him and go on with my day. I feel like hitting him lots of the time the last week. I spend time working on myself, determing what is right for me. My A gives me fi...	clep	11	888	Apr 30, 2011 by danielle0516
	slowly & easy! (Preview) I am going to take this slowly & easy today! I have not be on MIP siince April 6th I believe & believe me I miss it & all of you! What I want to share today is that I am sooo tired again because of the anxiety & stress of going to CA next month. I have been trying to think of other things & have...	Hoot Nanny	2	935	Apr 30, 2011 by member922
	You Gottawanna (Preview) Have any of you guys have heard a poem that begins with "You Gottawanna" I heard someone mention it in my face to face meeting this morning and the parts that the person remembered were great. A few of the lines in it "You gottawanna go to meetings" and "You gottawanna work...	tommyecat	1	1595	Apr 30, 2011 by member922
	Maybe a baby! (Preview) Yeah maybe a baby. My middle son, who is 21 and lives at home, just told me that his GF may be pregnant. They don't know yet. I am in shock!! I know he isn't ready to be a father nor is she ready to be a mother. Nor am I ready to be a grandmother. Not that that matters much, honeslty. I have been sworn to secrecy and...	wildthang86	1	886	Apr 30, 2011 by tommyecat
	He lies (venting and bewildered) (Preview) OK, I know that lies shouldn't come as a surprise to me. They really shouldn't. And, quite honestly, I've come to expect the Big Lies about infidelities and drinking. I guess I can almost understand the Big Lies: it's too painful for AH to tell the Big Truths and face himself and his actions. I just d...	Very Very Tired	11	1134	Apr 30, 2011 by drummerchick423
	I can see recovery after all (Preview) My son and I are living far from our usual home right now and my exAH -- my son's dad -- has come to visit our son for ten days. He is staying with us. He is a binge drinker who goes for long periods sober or at least appearing so, so I knew the chances were good that he wouldn't be actively drunk while he was her...	Mattie	2	1029	Apr 30, 2011 by GailMichelle
	C2C PP 202 July 20 (Preview) I went to a face to face meeting yesterday and this reading was part of our topic, Letting go. I really got a lot out of it... In the past, joy was a rare visitor to many of us. Al-Anon recovery often leads us to find it more frequently. But instead of sitting back and enjoying these pleasant moments, we t...	tommyecat	1	1285	Apr 30, 2011 by hotrod
	plans for the weekend (Preview) My dil and gd have returned to Japan. It was really hard saying goodbye to them on Easter Sunday. They were with us for a month with my son there for the last 10 days of their stay. They all returned together which I was happy about. I decided since we no longer had a house full of people we would take a trip to o...	Gailey	6	932	Apr 30, 2011 by wifeofalcoholic
	Angry, Hurt, Grieving, want to forgive but not ready (Preview) In early September, I started dating a guy who seemed to be a fairly nice guy. Seemed like he had spirituality, was working a program, had 15 years sober & clean, we both hit it right off and we had a wonderful time hanging out together. No physical. Just friendship. It was great. Then one night i...	Courage2change	7	1139	Apr 30, 2011 by drummerchick423
	"Keep coming back" - yes! (Preview) I had a really bad week. I didn't find the guts to use the phone list when I needed to talk to someone. Today I almost didn't drag my butt out of bed to go to a meeting, but I am SO GLAD I did... I didn't talk at the meeting. I'm too new to have anything relevant to share about such a high-numbered step, and everyo...	atheos	3	975	Apr 29, 2011 by Jerry F
	New focus (Preview) So glad I've found you all online. The meetings are wonderful, as well as the forum. It feels so good to know that others understand me and have been there. I am doing things to help myself. After doing these steps, the biggest thing I see in my writings is fear. I am afraid I will be homeless, afraid I w...	gladysg	2	859	Apr 29, 2011 by tommyecat
	Hey I am ME and that is a good thing! (Preview) I was born into a highly dysfunctional home and was made to be codependent early on. I had all kinds of abuse coming at me and by the time I was 12, I was thinking about suicide because my life had become unmanageable. I verbally over explained myself to everyone that would listen for a decade. When I was in...	flopadopilus	3	806	Apr 29, 2011 by tommyecat
	Our Love, Against Us (Preview) I read the posts, see in the words, so much pain and it all seems to be the SAME pain I am so sorry that so many feel so much of the same pain. How as a mother, do I tell, no, WARN, my child about how to steer clear of this trap? For it IS a trap! They are clever, false, tricksy, have been manipulating for so long it i...	likemyheart	5	1096	Apr 29, 2011 by flopadopilus
	12 Symptoms of a Spiritual Awakening (Preview) I found a copy of this at my home group last summer. Thought it would brighten everyones day. Enjoy! 1. An increased tendency to let things happen rather than make them happen. 2. Frequent attacks of smiling. 3. Feelings of being connected with others and nature. 4. Frequent overwhelming episodes...	tommyecat	6	3474	Apr 29, 2011 by Freya
	Weekend Again??? (Preview) I am pretty pleased about my weekend plans. Movie with a friend tonight, The Kings Speech, all day to myself tomorrow and maybe see the abf on sunday night. I think I have come to the conclusion that I need more balance. He is not the focus of my life anymore. I am happy not seeing him every minute and time...	member922	7	818	Apr 29, 2011 by flopadopilus
	Patience (Preview) I'm new here. I've been married to an alcoholic for 38 years. After retirement he finished building a small airplane but before he could fly it he had to have a medical. His pilot's license was taken away from him because he had been drinking a lot again. He found a woman at the local airport who would fly w...	Meadow	6	943	Apr 29, 2011 by flopadopilus
	New and trying to understand (Preview) Hi, I am new to this site and have been to quite a few Alanon meetings. My AH has quit drinking 3 times in the past 2 years, neither of the times lasting more than a few months. I do not have a sponser and have not started my 12 steps. I am trying to get over the hurdles of understanding Alcoholism and life in gen...	lostinchicago	5	707	Apr 29, 2011 by flopadopilus
	Some positive news... (an update - long) (Preview) So I've been doing really well! Got a new job closer to home and our son is really thriving (he's 21 months). My AH has been sober for a little over 8 months. It's very nice to see him more comfortable in his skin. He's only gone to a few AA meetings but he has been going to weekly therapy since August. I had als...	Goodtillitsbad	2	841	Apr 29, 2011 by flopadopilus
	Tough love with daughter (Preview) My 22 yo daughter has a problem with at least alcohol. In the area we live there is a huge problem with heroine and now bath salts and synthetic marijuana. She was hanging out with someone that recently died of a heroine overdose. Alcohol is her drug of choice and she says that she is has only used sy...	bekind	3	1166	Apr 29, 2011 by flopadopilus
	Debriefing myself (Preview) About a year ago I read "Codependent No More" and "Beyond Codependency" when I was exploring the subject of ego boundries. Great books, in my opinion, and they made perfect sense to me. I felt perfectly comfortable. In the past month, I have been reading everything on these b...	Otie	7	1132	Apr 29, 2011 by flopadopilus
	I've gone over to the dark side... (Preview) I'm really finding it hard to let go and let God. I'm filled with grief and sadness at the loss of my relationship with my partner. He told me three weeks ago he wanted a break to spend time taking care of himself. He is deep in his recovery and seems to be doing well taking care of himself, and making time fo...	Freya	14	1047	Apr 29, 2011 by Freya
	I need to vent! (Preview) I read this site daily religiously. I can almost reach peace because of all of you. But today is not the greatest day snow here not worth mentioning when we see whats happening in Alabama (all my thoughts are with you) I found out today my ah told his mother we were to separate and how cruel I am and how unwel...	Crazy Frog	6	1052	Apr 29, 2011 by Crazy Frog
	I need help! (Preview) Help! New to this and I need help. Anyone willing to mentor a willing participant?	Courage2change	14	767	Apr 29, 2011 by tommyecat
	Limits (Preview) As many of you know I grew up in a family where sexual abuse, physical abuse and verbal abuse were rampant. There were no limits on anything and I learned no boundaries. The royal wedding is a big trigger for me for many reasons. Where I work (in one of my two jobs) I have colleagues who are absolutely smi...	maresie	3	899	Apr 29, 2011 by DreamXL
	I have a sponsor! I'm gonna do it! (Preview) Last night I met with the woman who is now my sponsor! We are going to meet again tomorrow night and get started on the steps. I'm so excited to do this! I told my husband this morning, before I turned 30 I decided to lose all the weight I gained having babies (almost 50 lbs!) as a birthday gift to myself, and I...	Aimee	4	993	Apr 28, 2011 by clep
	something i am pondering over (Preview) what brought me to this place and face to face al anon meetings is a huge fight that my AH and i got into about 2 weeks ago. we are not usually the yelling and screaming out of control type fighters - we usually just clam up....which is not healthy either. but this fight was both yelling and screaming and p...	Georgia	4	1020	Apr 28, 2011 by maresie
	Listen with your eyes.... (Preview) Aloha family...some of you know...most don't, that I am hearing impaired and was visually impaired up till last Thanksgiving...I got the gift of sight back at Thanksgiving...how awesome is that a HP deal? Because of my hearing and also because I use to have huge trust issues from my family of orig...	Jerry F	5	901	Apr 28, 2011 by Andrea12
	Letter to my AH (Preview) I wrote this to my AH: I thought I would share. Dear "AH" I want to say that I love you very much. It is not you that I am angry with. I am angry with alcoholism. I have resentment towards "it" not you. It has been a long road, to understand. I think I understand now. I feel so fooli...	Rachel262612	8	1166	Apr 28, 2011 by GailMichelle
	Have you ever used your group's phone list? (Preview) My family situation has just exploded. Again. I don't want to post any details of what happened on a public board, lest some member of my family who knows I'm in Al-Anon comes across it... but I am feeling abandoned and chased out of my family, and even though I know this will all blow over by next week I'm s...	atheos	8	2728	Apr 28, 2011 by abbyal
	to RLC and others in the south USA... (Preview) Please check in! I've been reading about the tornadoes in the southern states and all of the damage and deaths they have caused. Please let us know you're OK.	pineapple	7	1091	Apr 28, 2011 by hotrod
	How did you do it? (Preview) How did those of you who have been where I am, let go, and concentrate on only yourself? I realize there is no MAGIC answer or cure here. I realize its work. I just have no idea, in any ounce of my being how I could ever truly let go and only concentrate on me. I don't know how... I feel so sad about this, bec...	youfoundme	12	1041	Apr 28, 2011 by White Rabbit
	I believe in miracles... (Preview) Many my remember and know my story with my aH. Separated for 2 and a half years. We have a young son together. The marriage and the separation have included a miriad of trials and tribulations related to the chaos of alcoholism. I finally decided to divorce him in December and had divorce papers dra...	Rora	6	855	Apr 28, 2011 by flopadopilus
	scared and alone - kicked husband out (Preview) Forgive me if this is lengthy but it's my first post here. My name is Bridget and I am an adult child and a sister of two alcoholics, one who comitted suicide about a year ago. I was married for 6 years to a recovering drug addict who had been sober for about 5 years when I first met him and is still sober today....	bostonlass	6	3985	Apr 28, 2011 by tommyecat
	Some one tell me what you think (Preview) Sunday my family is getting together for Easter. My AF is off somewhere drinking and has been since Tuesday. I had him leave rather than sit here and drink. But, my 19 year old told my mother. So, my mother is driving me insane right now. My father was an active alcoholic my whole life. He died almost two ye...	katfshh	13	845	Apr 28, 2011 by tommyecat
	Low self esteem would be an upgrade (Preview) I went to our class with my AH on the effects of divorce on children. And it turned into a counseling session. The counselor asked us how we managed out time with the kids and if we kept them out of our fighting and how we share them. After we answered these questions the counselor asked us why we were gettin...	flopadopilus	5	1203	Apr 28, 2011 by kitty
	Help Me See the Light Again (Preview) Hi Family, I'm having a really tough time tonight and need support and encouragement to walk away from what is not good for me. I have been with my abf for a year now. It has been a roller coaster ride. I went through helping him with his comp case (back injury), helped him get his disability, stood by him...	Saved By Grace	9	840	Apr 28, 2011 by tommyecat
	The AA 9th Step Promises (Preview) When I was new to the program my alanon sponsor suggested I read the AA promises each day. (Our group permits the Big Book of AA as part of permitted literature to discuss in meetings). When I read these trying to identify how they would work for for me in my alanon program I said after each promise, &quo...	tommyecat	4	6046	Apr 28, 2011 by linbaba
	Sponsor question #3! (Preview) Just thought I'd run this by the group, particularly for those who've actually taken on the role of Sponsor for others (and subsequently my own Sponsor when she returns a message I just left her.) I've been sponsoring someone since the beginning of the year. This has been such a fantastic learning and...	Aloha	5	750	Apr 28, 2011 by tommyecat
	He is home, update (Preview) My AF went to the ER last night. They discharged him with a perscription of Librium. He is home now, looks like crap. He is remoresful, and says he is going to get back to his recovery. He had 8 months until three weeks ago. I kicked him out on Tuesday. By Friday night he was miserable. I really think that if...	katfshh	6	1097	Apr 28, 2011 by tommyecat
	"Unselfish" actions (Preview) "When I began to work at being really honest, I discovered that many of the things I thought I did unselfishly were pure rationalizations, tricks to get my own way about something." -Lois W. This is soooo true for me. When I got here, I really and truly believed that since my motives were so g...	White Rabbit	6	959	Apr 28, 2011 by tommyecat
	Easter - alone, sick, and trying to surrender with Trust. (Preview) Hi Everyone, Thank you for sharing your stories - I find they help me to feel less alone, more inspired. As I've written before, I am currently staying at my in-laws with my 11-month-old, while my husband has begun an outpatient treatment program and AA meetings. Today I am here alone with my daughter...	KLotus	6	1021	Apr 28, 2011 by tommyecat
	The problem is me (Preview) Real or imagined. Aloha Family...I just did another read of "dating recovering alcoholics" by Drummerchick and refocused...It's not about what is off kilter with "them" but what is off kilter with me...why I got into and stayed in recovery in Al-Anon and the major problem i...	Jerry F	11	1165	Apr 28, 2011 by tommyecat
	doing it differently (Preview) Every so often I can look at a situation I handled and revel in the fact I did it differently. Now as each holiday passes, I am replacing bad memories with good. Toward the end of my marriage, there were many times when my exAH would choose not to come to a family function. Sometimes he stated illness or f...	Loupiness	6	697	Apr 28, 2011 by tommyecat
	How do you tell if someone is an alcoholic? (Preview) I came to Al-Anon by way of another qualifier, but I am starting to wonder about my dad. Sometimes he's nice, sometimes he's mean (in a way that a lot of other Al-Anon members' sharing about their family members reminds me of!), and he does seem to have his mean times more often when there's alcohol invol...	atheos	9	1329	Apr 28, 2011 by tommyecat
	It's gone on for too long. (Preview) Hi, I'm Louise. Here's my story. I'm a 21 year old and for as long as I can remember my mum has been an alcoholic. She used to try to hide it from us when me and my brothers were younger and put us to bed early. But as we grew up we started to see her drinking more and it has effected our lives more every year. She is...	louise_90	8	1044	Apr 28, 2011 by tommyecat
	Need to get this out of my head (Preview) Yesterday, I posted a lovely thought about living the solution and not the problem. Lovely, wasn't it? Then, a crazy hits. And I decide to check up on my AH (AH is actively drinking extremely heavily and has had multiple affairs). AH found out I checked up on him. The result: an alcoholic rage full...	Very Very Tired	12	1092	Apr 28, 2011 by tommyecat
	Good Morning all! (Preview) Hello everyone.... Talking to my AH the other day, and he was just in a rotten mood! I had just gotten home from work, and he called me, going off on me about how court went the week before. During that phone call, I realized exactly how far I've come since joining MIP and Al-Anon. I didn't react to him like I...	Evian	5	924	Apr 28, 2011 by tommyecat
	SOS, what do i do? (Preview) hello, the past months i have been trying to "detach" from my husbands drinking. If he would be going out or have a drink with friends i try to avoid being there. This coming friday he is asking me to go with him to a family friend's party. I know there's going to be drinking there. He told me...	jocelgp	8	1066	Apr 28, 2011 by tommyecat
	Brand new here (Preview) Hi all, I'm brand new to this forum. I have attended about five face-to-face meetings so far and have found them very helpful. It has been tough for me to get to meetings because of other responsibilities and I don't have a sponser yet although I feel a strong need for one. My AH is an active drinker. He...	Losthope	9	824	Apr 28, 2011 by tommyecat
	New here, needing help understanding the alcoholic's thinking process (Preview) Hi, I'm a middle aged wife of an alcoholic and am in need of advice, guidance, or maybe just a good swift kick. My husband has been drinking for over 30 years, heavily on and off for the past 7 or so years. I had started therapy, so I've been able to begin addressing some of my issues, fears and concerns r...	Wifey	20	5951	Apr 27, 2011 by purpleraven
	The 5 G's (Preview) My brain is so tired of searching for the five G's that I decided to cave in and come here and see if anyone knows which book they are in and what they are. I do remember a couple of them such as Get off his back Get yourself to a meeting Thanks in advance for your help	Mobirdie	4	1917	Apr 27, 2011 by tealexis
	i have a couple of questions as i am reading some of the material (Preview) I started out reading "Alcoholism, A Merry-Go-Round Name Denial." If you are familiar with that. It talks about the various roles people play in the A's life. The Enabler, The Victim and The Provoker. Is it possible for one person to be all 3 roles? Because I am "it" for my AH...	Georgia	5	916	Apr 27, 2011 by abbyal
	Son died of overdose yesterday, please pray for me (Preview) Dear All, You have been of such help to me in my struggle with my 27 yr old addict son, especially Jerry F, Canadian Guy, Xeno59 and Karen L. Now, I am very sad because the police came last night to say my son had been found dead of an oxycontin overdose, in his squalid room in a house downtown on Sat. about 6 p...	Fiddleman	38	2266	Apr 26, 2011 by MichaelW
	In Gratitude/Codependency and detachment (Preview) http://www.marriagebuilders.com/graphic/mbi8W110_cod.html	Otie	2	3689	Apr 26, 2011 by Chelle3
	need to vent (Preview) I broke down this weekend and wished my ah a happy easter. We met at a neutral spot and had a really nice time with our daughter. He snooped through my phone and looked at a phone call made to me by this a friend of mine who is a guy. Since I am a terrible liar, I told him that I went with him one evening to get out of...	kath	6	980	Apr 26, 2011 by kath
	need an online sponsor Take 2 (Preview) I have been married for nearly 20 years and discovered last year my husband is a functional alcoholic. it was a shock at first but it all made sense. He has been drinking forever but became more sophisticated with age. He started collecting "vintage" wine and going to wine tastings, old or...	Crazy Frog	6	1469	Apr 26, 2011 by Crazy Frog
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The material presented here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method to exchange information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal level.