Al-Anon Family Group - Al-Anon Family Group

Mixie · Mixie

Hello All, I've been lurking on your board for about a week or so, reading, learning, and trying to soak up all the new information. I have started several posts just to delete them. I honestly dont know what to say. I haven't been to a meeting yet. I planned to go last wednesday but chickened out. Im terri...

member922 · member922

So I am 40 years old and interested in starting college in the fall. I just received notice of an estimated grant I will get. I am so excited!!! This is something major to me. Not only will I get to learn and continue to grow, but I can put the focus back on me!!! It means more independence for me! Just what...

purpleraven · purpleraven

i posted here that we won the long battle blocking my girl's bio-dad from having any visitation at all with her dad, unless she initates it when she's older . that's what the judge and guardian-ad-litem said in court, anyway. when i received the final hearing's court summary ... it is the polar opposit...

canadianguy · canadianguy

Hi folks... lots of great stuff on the board these days, particularly around detachment, enabling, and people genuinely wondering what exactly we CAN do, in order to help our A's find the light, to some extent. The "Getting Them Sober" book series can help answer a lot of these questions...

flopadopilus · flopadopilus

After the session with my AH I haven't spent anytime with him, but had gotten used to going over to see him one night a weekend and watching movies again. I have been fighting it all night. The kids are not here and I miss him, but not the manipulation and all that goes with an A. We had a pretty intense conver...

member922 · member922

So I enjoyed my Friday as planned, dinner and movie with a friend. And yes, The King's Speech was great. The abf told me to take Saturday to myself as he would be hanging out with his son and that it would be nice for he and I to spend Sunday night together. I was thrilled. Did my own thing, laying in the...

John · John

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pinkchip · pinkchip

I need feedback on this cuz I seriously don't know and find myself frequently lapsing into advice giving. I could stick "I suggest" in front of all my thoughts but it winds up being the same things much of the time...Advice. Well meaning most of the time, but still advice which is unsolici...

Crazy Frog · Crazy Frog

Despite all the good intentions and al anon I feel hurt. My ah told me yesterday I am a coward deceitful cruel and a quitter His mother doesn't speak to me and gave me silent treatment with the look of death (quite a combination) so I know I am no coward no quitter and try to be respectful I didn't cause it can...

Otie · Otie

Hi everyone. Whenever I have posted a thread, a yellow tag appears. (that is what it looks like). I can't figure out what it is sopposed to mean. I don't see them by anyone else's thread. Please, what does that mean? Thanks. Curiously, Otie

Trudles57 · Trudles57

My addict son asked if he & his girlfriend could move into my apt which will be vacant soon. They have been working on staying "clean" & want somewhere where there is a controlled atmostphere w/ rules. This apt is above my garage on my property. I am not sure if this is a wise thing o...

thetalady · thetalady

Well, all hell broke loose four days ago ending in my AH leaving. Of course, he "didn't do anything wrong." It's all me. I accept responsibility for my actions - snooping around, accusing him without substantial facts, jealousy, distrust. We, as a couple, are in dire straights. The...

roonpugs · roonpugs

I had been to two meetings here in my town and was not able to attend today so I considered going to another mtg about an hr out of town and I DID! I drove very nervously the long drive, trying to find the new place, wondering what it would be like. Once there I found a lovely lady hanging the Al Anon signs up w...

DadtoCandE · DadtoCandE

I have heard a couple of share's in face to face meetings from veteran's talking about how they were just visiters in the first 6 months to a year of al-anon. I definately heard my perspective in those shares. Last Sunday I talked to my "temporary" sponser and asked if he wanted to work wit...

drummerchick423 · drummerchick423

Whenever I go nuts, asking myself why my exabf did this, or said that...I think back to how I had red flags about his alcoholism from the beginning, yet I chose to stay. I am trying to focus on MY part in everything rather than his, because I can't change him. Anyway, whenever I feel puzzled by his behavior...

Rachel262612 · Rachel262612

can someone tell me how to get a sponsor. I am feeling so defeated right now. I just feel so sick, with a whirlwind of emotions. I swear I feel like my head is going to explode. right now, I don't even know why I am so freaking angry with my AH, I mean I generally know, but nothing inparticular. I swear, I jus...

danielle0516 · danielle0516

Hi everyone... Nice subject line eh? Ya, I'm thinking that's what I'll call my book. lol, just kidding. I'll try not to go into too much boring detail about my job and this particular incident.... but, I'm a talker so... prepare yourselves;) ok.. nevermind, I just typed a bunch and realized I can't go i...

clep · clep

With my A on his step two things are getting worse. I am doing the very best I can, and at times like this morning all I can do is shut my mouth, ignore him and go on with my day. I feel like hitting him lots of the time the last week. I spend time working on myself, determing what is right for me. My A gives me fi...

Hoot Nanny · Hoot Nanny

I am going to take this slowly & easy today! I have not be on MIP siince April 6th I believe & believe me I miss it & all of you! What I want to share today is that I am sooo tired again because of the anxiety & stress of going to CA next month. I have been trying to think of other things & have...

tommyecat · tommyecat

Have any of you guys have heard a poem that begins with "You Gottawanna" I heard someone mention it in my face to face meeting this morning and the parts that the person remembered were great. A few of the lines in it "You gottawanna go to meetings" and "You gottawanna work...

wildthang86 · wildthang86

Yeah maybe a baby. My middle son, who is 21 and lives at home, just told me that his GF may be pregnant. They don't know yet. I am in shock!! I know he isn't ready to be a father nor is she ready to be a mother. Nor am I ready to be a grandmother. Not that that matters much, honeslty. I have been sworn to secrecy and...

Very Very Tired · Very Very Tired

OK, I know that lies shouldn't come as a surprise to me. They really shouldn't. And, quite honestly, I've come to expect the Big Lies about infidelities and drinking. I guess I can almost understand the Big Lies: it's too painful for AH to tell the Big Truths and face himself and his actions. I just d...

Mattie · Mattie

My son and I are living far from our usual home right now and my exAH -- my son's dad -- has come to visit our son for ten days. He is staying with us. He is a binge drinker who goes for long periods sober or at least appearing so, so I knew the chances were good that he wouldn't be actively drunk while he was her...

tommyecat · tommyecat

I went to a face to face meeting yesterday and this reading was part of our topic, Letting go. I really got a lot out of it... In the past, joy was a rare visitor to many of us. Al-Anon recovery often leads us to find it more frequently. But instead of sitting back and enjoying these pleasant moments, we t...

Gailey · Gailey

My dil and gd have returned to Japan. It was really hard saying goodbye to them on Easter Sunday. They were with us for a month with my son there for the last 10 days of their stay. They all returned together which I was happy about. I decided since we no longer had a house full of people we would take a trip to o...

Courage2change · Courage2change

In early September, I started dating a guy who seemed to be a fairly nice guy. Seemed like he had spirituality, was working a program, had 15 years sober & clean, we both hit it right off and we had a wonderful time hanging out together. No physical. Just friendship. It was great. Then one night i...

atheos · atheos

I had a really bad week. I didn't find the guts to use the phone list when I needed to talk to someone. Today I almost didn't drag my butt out of bed to go to a meeting, but I am SO GLAD I did... I didn't talk at the meeting. I'm too new to have anything relevant to share about such a high-numbered step, and everyo...

gladysg · gladysg

So glad I've found you all online. The meetings are wonderful, as well as the forum. It feels so good to know that others understand me and have been there. I am doing things to help myself. After doing these steps, the biggest thing I see in my writings is fear. I am afraid I will be homeless, afraid I w...

flopadopilus · flopadopilus

I was born into a highly dysfunctional home and was made to be codependent early on. I had all kinds of abuse coming at me and by the time I was 12, I was thinking about suicide because my life had become unmanageable. I verbally over explained myself to everyone that would listen for a decade. When I was in...

likemyheart · likemyheart

I read the posts, see in the words, so much pain and it all seems to be the SAME pain I am so sorry that so many feel so much of the same pain. How as a mother, do I tell, no, WARN, my child about how to steer clear of this trap? For it IS a trap! They are clever, false, tricksy, have been manipulating for so long it i...

tommyecat · tommyecat

I found a copy of this at my home group last summer. Thought it would brighten everyones day. Enjoy! 1. An increased tendency to let things happen rather than make them happen. 2. Frequent attacks of smiling. 3. Feelings of being connected with others and nature. 4. Frequent overwhelming episodes...

member922 · member922

I am pretty pleased about my weekend plans. Movie with a friend tonight, The Kings Speech, all day to myself tomorrow and maybe see the abf on sunday night. I think I have come to the conclusion that I need more balance. He is not the focus of my life anymore. I am happy not seeing him every minute and time...

Meadow · Meadow

I'm new here. I've been married to an alcoholic for 38 years. After retirement he finished building a small airplane but before he could fly it he had to have a medical. His pilot's license was taken away from him because he had been drinking a lot again. He found a woman at the local airport who would fly w...

lostinchicago · lostinchicago

Hi, I am new to this site and have been to quite a few Alanon meetings. My AH has quit drinking 3 times in the past 2 years, neither of the times lasting more than a few months. I do not have a sponser and have not started my 12 steps. I am trying to get over the hurdles of understanding Alcoholism and life in gen...

Goodtillitsbad · Goodtillitsbad

So I've been doing really well! Got a new job closer to home and our son is really thriving (he's 21 months). My AH has been sober for a little over 8 months. It's very nice to see him more comfortable in his skin. He's only gone to a few AA meetings but he has been going to weekly therapy since August. I had als...

bekind · bekind

My 22 yo daughter has a problem with at least alcohol. In the area we live there is a huge problem with heroine and now bath salts and synthetic marijuana. She was hanging out with someone that recently died of a heroine overdose. Alcohol is her drug of choice and she says that she is has only used sy...

Otie · Otie

About a year ago I read "Codependent No More" and "Beyond Codependency" when I was exploring the subject of ego boundries. Great books, in my opinion, and they made perfect sense to me. I felt perfectly comfortable. In the past month, I have been reading everything on these b...

Freya · Freya

I'm really finding it hard to let go and let God. I'm filled with grief and sadness at the loss of my relationship with my partner. He told me three weeks ago he wanted a break to spend time taking care of himself. He is deep in his recovery and seems to be doing well taking care of himself, and making time fo...

Crazy Frog · Crazy Frog

I read this site daily religiously. I can almost reach peace because of all of you. But today is not the greatest day snow here not worth mentioning when we see whats happening in Alabama (all my thoughts are with you) I found out today my ah told his mother we were to separate and how cruel I am and how unwel...

Courage2change · Courage2change

Help! New to this and I need help. Anyone willing to mentor a willing participant?

maresie · maresie

As many of you know I grew up in a family where sexual abuse, physical abuse and verbal abuse were rampant. There were no limits on anything and I learned no boundaries. The royal wedding is a big trigger for me for many reasons. Where I work (in one of my two jobs) I have colleagues who are absolutely smi...

Aimee · Aimee

Last night I met with the woman who is now my sponsor! We are going to meet again tomorrow night and get started on the steps. I'm so excited to do this! I told my husband this morning, before I turned 30 I decided to lose all the weight I gained having babies (almost 50 lbs!) as a birthday gift to myself, and I...

Georgia · Georgia

what brought me to this place and face to face al anon meetings is a huge fight that my AH and i got into about 2 weeks ago. we are not usually the yelling and screaming out of control type fighters - we usually just clam up....which is not healthy either. but this fight was both yelling and screaming and p...

Jerry F · Jerry F

Aloha family...some of you know...most don't, that I am hearing impaired and was visually impaired up till last Thanksgiving...I got the gift of sight back at Thanksgiving...how awesome is that a HP deal? Because of my hearing and also because I use to have huge trust issues from my family of orig...

Rachel262612 · Rachel262612

I wrote this to my AH: I thought I would share. Dear "AH" I want to say that I love you very much. It is not you that I am angry with. I am angry with alcoholism. I have resentment towards "it" not you. It has been a long road, to understand. I think I understand now. I feel so fooli...

atheos · atheos

My family situation has just exploded. Again. I don't want to post any details of what happened on a public board, lest some member of my family who knows I'm in Al-Anon comes across it... but I am feeling abandoned and chased out of my family, and even though I know this will all blow over by next week I'm s...

pineapple · pineapple

Please check in! I've been reading about the tornadoes in the southern states and all of the damage and deaths they have caused. Please let us know you're OK.

youfoundme · youfoundme

How did those of you who have been where I am, let go, and concentrate on only yourself? I realize there is no MAGIC answer or cure here. I realize its work. I just have no idea, in any ounce of my being how I could ever truly let go and only concentrate on me. I don't know how... I feel so sad about this, bec...

Rora · Rora

Many my remember and know my story with my aH. Separated for 2 and a half years. We have a young son together. The marriage and the separation have included a miriad of trials and tribulations related to the chaos of alcoholism. I finally decided to divorce him in December and had divorce papers dra...

bostonlass · bostonlass

Forgive me if this is lengthy but it's my first post here. My name is Bridget and I am an adult child and a sister of two alcoholics, one who comitted suicide about a year ago. I was married for 6 years to a recovering drug addict who had been sober for about 5 years when I first met him and is still sober today....

katfshh · katfshh

Sunday my family is getting together for Easter. My AF is off somewhere drinking and has been since Tuesday. I had him leave rather than sit here and drink. But, my 19 year old told my mother. So, my mother is driving me insane right now. My father was an active alcoholic my whole life. He died almost two ye...

flopadopilus · flopadopilus

I went to our class with my AH on the effects of divorce on children. And it turned into a counseling session. The counselor asked us how we managed out time with the kids and if we kept them out of our fighting and how we share them. After we answered these questions the counselor asked us why we were gettin...

Saved By Grace · Saved By Grace

Hi Family, I'm having a really tough time tonight and need support and encouragement to walk away from what is not good for me. I have been with my abf for a year now. It has been a roller coaster ride. I went through helping him with his comp case (back injury), helped him get his disability, stood by him...

tommyecat · tommyecat

When I was new to the program my alanon sponsor suggested I read the AA promises each day. (Our group permits the Big Book of AA as part of permitted literature to discuss in meetings). When I read these trying to identify how they would work for for me in my alanon program I said after each promise, &quo...

Aloha · Aloha

Just thought I'd run this by the group, particularly for those who've actually taken on the role of Sponsor for others (and subsequently my own Sponsor when she returns a message I just left her.) I've been sponsoring someone since the beginning of the year. This has been such a fantastic learning and...

katfshh · katfshh

My AF went to the ER last night. They discharged him with a perscription of Librium. He is home now, looks like crap. He is remoresful, and says he is going to get back to his recovery. He had 8 months until three weeks ago. I kicked him out on Tuesday. By Friday night he was miserable. I really think that if...

White Rabbit · White Rabbit

"When I began to work at being really honest, I discovered that many of the things I thought I did unselfishly were pure rationalizations, tricks to get my own way about something." -Lois W. This is soooo true for me. When I got here, I really and truly believed that since my motives were so g...

KLotus · KLotus

Hi Everyone, Thank you for sharing your stories - I find they help me to feel less alone, more inspired. As I've written before, I am currently staying at my in-laws with my 11-month-old, while my husband has begun an outpatient treatment program and AA meetings. Today I am here alone with my daughter...

Jerry F · Jerry F

Real or imagined. Aloha Family...I just did another read of "dating recovering alcoholics" by Drummerchick and refocused...It's not about what is off kilter with "them" but what is off kilter with me...why I got into and stayed in recovery in Al-Anon and the major problem i...

Loupiness · Loupiness

Every so often I can look at a situation I handled and revel in the fact I did it differently. Now as each holiday passes, I am replacing bad memories with good. Toward the end of my marriage, there were many times when my exAH would choose not to come to a family function. Sometimes he stated illness or f...

Topic		Started By	Replies	Views	Last Post
	New here (Preview) Hello All, I've been lurking on your board for about a week or so, reading, learning, and trying to soak up all the new information. I have started several posts just to delete them. I honestly dont know what to say. I haven't been to a meeting yet. I planned to go last wednesday but chickened out. Im terri...	Mixie	11	806	May 2, 2011 by tommyecat
	Moving toward going back to school (Preview) So I am 40 years old and interested in starting college in the fall. I just received notice of an estimated grant I will get. I am so excited!!! This is something major to me. Not only will I get to learn and continue to grow, but I can put the focus back on me!!! It means more independence for me! Just what...	member922	10	750	May 2, 2011 by tommyecat
	court reversal - we didn't win. bio-dad won visitation! (Preview) i posted here that we won the long battle blocking my girl's bio-dad from having any visitation at all with her dad, unless she initates it when she's older . that's what the judge and guardian-ad-litem said in court, anyway. when i received the final hearing's court summary ... it is the polar opposit...	purpleraven	7	1022	May 2, 2011 by purpleraven
	Okay, so what CAN we do?? (Preview) Hi folks... lots of great stuff on the board these days, particularly around detachment, enabling, and people genuinely wondering what exactly we CAN do, in order to help our A's find the light, to some extent. The "Getting Them Sober" book series can help answer a lot of these questions...	canadianguy	7	5732	May 2, 2011 by flopadopilus
	Very hard night! (Preview) After the session with my AH I haven't spent anytime with him, but had gotten used to going over to see him one night a weekend and watching movies again. I have been fighting it all night. The kids are not here and I miss him, but not the manipulation and all that goes with an A. We had a pretty intense conver...	flopadopilus	8	987	May 1, 2011 by flopadopilus
	Proud, Proud, Proud! (Preview) So I enjoyed my Friday as planned, dinner and movie with a friend. And yes, The King's Speech was great. The abf told me to take Saturday to myself as he would be hanging out with his son and that it would be nice for he and I to spend Sunday night together. I was thrilled. Did my own thing, laying in the...	member922	5	863	May 1, 2011 by flopadopilus
	Welcomed home by my dogs... (video) (Preview) [video=]	John	5	780	May 1, 2011 by maresie
	What is the difference between advice and suggestion? (Preview) I need feedback on this cuz I seriously don't know and find myself frequently lapsing into advice giving. I could stick "I suggest" in front of all my thoughts but it winds up being the same things much of the time...Advice. Well meaning most of the time, but still advice which is unsolici...	pinkchip	21	6448	May 1, 2011 by pinkchip
	I am hurt (Preview) Despite all the good intentions and al anon I feel hurt. My ah told me yesterday I am a coward deceitful cruel and a quitter His mother doesn't speak to me and gave me silent treatment with the look of death (quite a combination) so I know I am no coward no quitter and try to be respectful I didn't cause it can...	Crazy Frog	8	1611	May 1, 2011 by tommyecat
	yellow tags?? (Preview) Hi everyone. Whenever I have posted a thread, a yellow tag appears. (that is what it looks like). I can't figure out what it is sopposed to mean. I don't see them by anyone else's thread. Please, what does that mean? Thanks. Curiously, Otie	Otie	4	671	May 1, 2011 by Otie
	Oh boy...what to do. (Preview) My addict son asked if he & his girlfriend could move into my apt which will be vacant soon. They have been working on staying "clean" & want somewhere where there is a controlled atmostphere w/ rules. This apt is above my garage on my property. I am not sure if this is a wise thing o...	Trudles57	4	1237	May 1, 2011 by tommyecat
	Step In the Right Direction (Preview) Well, all hell broke loose four days ago ending in my AH leaving. Of course, he "didn't do anything wrong." It's all me. I accept responsibility for my actions - snooping around, accusing him without substantial facts, jealousy, distrust. We, as a couple, are in dire straights. The...	thetalady	3	1134	Apr 30, 2011 by sunny123
	Try different groups! (Preview) I had been to two meetings here in my town and was not able to attend today so I considered going to another mtg about an hr out of town and I DID! I drove very nervously the long drive, trying to find the new place, wondering what it would be like. Once there I found a lovely lady hanging the Al Anon signs up w...	roonpugs	3	941	Apr 30, 2011 by Jerry F
	visiting al-anon (Preview) I have heard a couple of share's in face to face meetings from veteran's talking about how they were just visiters in the first 6 months to a year of al-anon. I definately heard my perspective in those shares. Last Sunday I talked to my "temporary" sponser and asked if he wanted to work wit...	DadtoCandE	8	924	Apr 30, 2011 by maryjane
	the scorpion and the frog (Preview) Whenever I go nuts, asking myself why my exabf did this, or said that...I think back to how I had red flags about his alcoholism from the beginning, yet I chose to stay. I am trying to focus on MY part in everything rather than his, because I can't change him. Anyway, whenever I feel puzzled by his behavior...	drummerchick423	3	933	Apr 30, 2011 by flopadopilus
	how do you get a sponsor? (Preview) can someone tell me how to get a sponsor. I am feeling so defeated right now. I just feel so sick, with a whirlwind of emotions. I swear I feel like my head is going to explode. right now, I don't even know why I am so freaking angry with my AH, I mean I generally know, but nothing inparticular. I swear, I jus...	Rachel262612	3	4245	Apr 30, 2011 by Jerry F
	standing up for yourself: a story about overcoming fear (Preview) Hi everyone... Nice subject line eh? Ya, I'm thinking that's what I'll call my book. lol, just kidding. I'll try not to go into too much boring detail about my job and this particular incident.... but, I'm a talker so... prepare yourselves;) ok.. nevermind, I just typed a bunch and realized I can't go i...	danielle0516	7	1383	Apr 30, 2011 by danielle0516
	Feeling overwhelmed this last few days (Preview) With my A on his step two things are getting worse. I am doing the very best I can, and at times like this morning all I can do is shut my mouth, ignore him and go on with my day. I feel like hitting him lots of the time the last week. I spend time working on myself, determing what is right for me. My A gives me fi...	clep	11	917	Apr 30, 2011 by danielle0516
	slowly & easy! (Preview) I am going to take this slowly & easy today! I have not be on MIP siince April 6th I believe & believe me I miss it & all of you! What I want to share today is that I am sooo tired again because of the anxiety & stress of going to CA next month. I have been trying to think of other things & have...	Hoot Nanny	2	965	Apr 30, 2011 by member922
	You Gottawanna (Preview) Have any of you guys have heard a poem that begins with "You Gottawanna" I heard someone mention it in my face to face meeting this morning and the parts that the person remembered were great. A few of the lines in it "You gottawanna go to meetings" and "You gottawanna work...	tommyecat	1	1642	Apr 30, 2011 by member922
	Maybe a baby! (Preview) Yeah maybe a baby. My middle son, who is 21 and lives at home, just told me that his GF may be pregnant. They don't know yet. I am in shock!! I know he isn't ready to be a father nor is she ready to be a mother. Nor am I ready to be a grandmother. Not that that matters much, honeslty. I have been sworn to secrecy and...	wildthang86	1	913	Apr 30, 2011 by tommyecat
	He lies (venting and bewildered) (Preview) OK, I know that lies shouldn't come as a surprise to me. They really shouldn't. And, quite honestly, I've come to expect the Big Lies about infidelities and drinking. I guess I can almost understand the Big Lies: it's too painful for AH to tell the Big Truths and face himself and his actions. I just d...	Very Very Tired	11	1163	Apr 30, 2011 by drummerchick423
	I can see recovery after all (Preview) My son and I are living far from our usual home right now and my exAH -- my son's dad -- has come to visit our son for ten days. He is staying with us. He is a binge drinker who goes for long periods sober or at least appearing so, so I knew the chances were good that he wouldn't be actively drunk while he was her...	Mattie	2	1058	Apr 30, 2011 by GailMichelle
	C2C PP 202 July 20 (Preview) I went to a face to face meeting yesterday and this reading was part of our topic, Letting go. I really got a lot out of it... In the past, joy was a rare visitor to many of us. Al-Anon recovery often leads us to find it more frequently. But instead of sitting back and enjoying these pleasant moments, we t...	tommyecat	1	1315	Apr 30, 2011 by hotrod
	plans for the weekend (Preview) My dil and gd have returned to Japan. It was really hard saying goodbye to them on Easter Sunday. They were with us for a month with my son there for the last 10 days of their stay. They all returned together which I was happy about. I decided since we no longer had a house full of people we would take a trip to o...	Gailey	6	961	Apr 30, 2011 by wifeofalcoholic
	Angry, Hurt, Grieving, want to forgive but not ready (Preview) In early September, I started dating a guy who seemed to be a fairly nice guy. Seemed like he had spirituality, was working a program, had 15 years sober & clean, we both hit it right off and we had a wonderful time hanging out together. No physical. Just friendship. It was great. Then one night i...	Courage2change	7	1172	Apr 30, 2011 by drummerchick423
	"Keep coming back" - yes! (Preview) I had a really bad week. I didn't find the guts to use the phone list when I needed to talk to someone. Today I almost didn't drag my butt out of bed to go to a meeting, but I am SO GLAD I did... I didn't talk at the meeting. I'm too new to have anything relevant to share about such a high-numbered step, and everyo...	atheos	3	1006	Apr 29, 2011 by Jerry F
	New focus (Preview) So glad I've found you all online. The meetings are wonderful, as well as the forum. It feels so good to know that others understand me and have been there. I am doing things to help myself. After doing these steps, the biggest thing I see in my writings is fear. I am afraid I will be homeless, afraid I w...	gladysg	2	892	Apr 29, 2011 by tommyecat
	Hey I am ME and that is a good thing! (Preview) I was born into a highly dysfunctional home and was made to be codependent early on. I had all kinds of abuse coming at me and by the time I was 12, I was thinking about suicide because my life had become unmanageable. I verbally over explained myself to everyone that would listen for a decade. When I was in...	flopadopilus	3	835	Apr 29, 2011 by tommyecat
	Our Love, Against Us (Preview) I read the posts, see in the words, so much pain and it all seems to be the SAME pain I am so sorry that so many feel so much of the same pain. How as a mother, do I tell, no, WARN, my child about how to steer clear of this trap? For it IS a trap! They are clever, false, tricksy, have been manipulating for so long it i...	likemyheart	5	1126	Apr 29, 2011 by flopadopilus
	12 Symptoms of a Spiritual Awakening (Preview) I found a copy of this at my home group last summer. Thought it would brighten everyones day. Enjoy! 1. An increased tendency to let things happen rather than make them happen. 2. Frequent attacks of smiling. 3. Feelings of being connected with others and nature. 4. Frequent overwhelming episodes...	tommyecat	6	3598	Apr 29, 2011 by Freya
	Weekend Again??? (Preview) I am pretty pleased about my weekend plans. Movie with a friend tonight, The Kings Speech, all day to myself tomorrow and maybe see the abf on sunday night. I think I have come to the conclusion that I need more balance. He is not the focus of my life anymore. I am happy not seeing him every minute and time...	member922	7	849	Apr 29, 2011 by flopadopilus
	Patience (Preview) I'm new here. I've been married to an alcoholic for 38 years. After retirement he finished building a small airplane but before he could fly it he had to have a medical. His pilot's license was taken away from him because he had been drinking a lot again. He found a woman at the local airport who would fly w...	Meadow	6	974	Apr 29, 2011 by flopadopilus
	New and trying to understand (Preview) Hi, I am new to this site and have been to quite a few Alanon meetings. My AH has quit drinking 3 times in the past 2 years, neither of the times lasting more than a few months. I do not have a sponser and have not started my 12 steps. I am trying to get over the hurdles of understanding Alcoholism and life in gen...	lostinchicago	5	739	Apr 29, 2011 by flopadopilus
	Some positive news... (an update - long) (Preview) So I've been doing really well! Got a new job closer to home and our son is really thriving (he's 21 months). My AH has been sober for a little over 8 months. It's very nice to see him more comfortable in his skin. He's only gone to a few AA meetings but he has been going to weekly therapy since August. I had als...	Goodtillitsbad	2	872	Apr 29, 2011 by flopadopilus
	Tough love with daughter (Preview) My 22 yo daughter has a problem with at least alcohol. In the area we live there is a huge problem with heroine and now bath salts and synthetic marijuana. She was hanging out with someone that recently died of a heroine overdose. Alcohol is her drug of choice and she says that she is has only used sy...	bekind	3	1201	Apr 29, 2011 by flopadopilus
	Debriefing myself (Preview) About a year ago I read "Codependent No More" and "Beyond Codependency" when I was exploring the subject of ego boundries. Great books, in my opinion, and they made perfect sense to me. I felt perfectly comfortable. In the past month, I have been reading everything on these b...	Otie	7	1163	Apr 29, 2011 by flopadopilus
	I've gone over to the dark side... (Preview) I'm really finding it hard to let go and let God. I'm filled with grief and sadness at the loss of my relationship with my partner. He told me three weeks ago he wanted a break to spend time taking care of himself. He is deep in his recovery and seems to be doing well taking care of himself, and making time fo...	Freya	14	1078	Apr 29, 2011 by Freya
	I need to vent! (Preview) I read this site daily religiously. I can almost reach peace because of all of you. But today is not the greatest day snow here not worth mentioning when we see whats happening in Alabama (all my thoughts are with you) I found out today my ah told his mother we were to separate and how cruel I am and how unwel...	Crazy Frog	6	1085	Apr 29, 2011 by Crazy Frog
	I need help! (Preview) Help! New to this and I need help. Anyone willing to mentor a willing participant?	Courage2change	14	810	Apr 29, 2011 by tommyecat
	Limits (Preview) As many of you know I grew up in a family where sexual abuse, physical abuse and verbal abuse were rampant. There were no limits on anything and I learned no boundaries. The royal wedding is a big trigger for me for many reasons. Where I work (in one of my two jobs) I have colleagues who are absolutely smi...	maresie	3	934	Apr 29, 2011 by DreamXL
	I have a sponsor! I'm gonna do it! (Preview) Last night I met with the woman who is now my sponsor! We are going to meet again tomorrow night and get started on the steps. I'm so excited to do this! I told my husband this morning, before I turned 30 I decided to lose all the weight I gained having babies (almost 50 lbs!) as a birthday gift to myself, and I...	Aimee	4	1025	Apr 28, 2011 by clep
	something i am pondering over (Preview) what brought me to this place and face to face al anon meetings is a huge fight that my AH and i got into about 2 weeks ago. we are not usually the yelling and screaming out of control type fighters - we usually just clam up....which is not healthy either. but this fight was both yelling and screaming and p...	Georgia	4	1054	Apr 28, 2011 by maresie
	Listen with your eyes.... (Preview) Aloha family...some of you know...most don't, that I am hearing impaired and was visually impaired up till last Thanksgiving...I got the gift of sight back at Thanksgiving...how awesome is that a HP deal? Because of my hearing and also because I use to have huge trust issues from my family of orig...	Jerry F	5	935	Apr 28, 2011 by Andrea12
	Letter to my AH (Preview) I wrote this to my AH: I thought I would share. Dear "AH" I want to say that I love you very much. It is not you that I am angry with. I am angry with alcoholism. I have resentment towards "it" not you. It has been a long road, to understand. I think I understand now. I feel so fooli...	Rachel262612	8	1201	Apr 28, 2011 by GailMichelle
	Have you ever used your group's phone list? (Preview) My family situation has just exploded. Again. I don't want to post any details of what happened on a public board, lest some member of my family who knows I'm in Al-Anon comes across it... but I am feeling abandoned and chased out of my family, and even though I know this will all blow over by next week I'm s...	atheos	8	2803	Apr 28, 2011 by abbyal
	to RLC and others in the south USA... (Preview) Please check in! I've been reading about the tornadoes in the southern states and all of the damage and deaths they have caused. Please let us know you're OK.	pineapple	7	1123	Apr 28, 2011 by hotrod
	How did you do it? (Preview) How did those of you who have been where I am, let go, and concentrate on only yourself? I realize there is no MAGIC answer or cure here. I realize its work. I just have no idea, in any ounce of my being how I could ever truly let go and only concentrate on me. I don't know how... I feel so sad about this, bec...	youfoundme	12	1075	Apr 28, 2011 by White Rabbit
	I believe in miracles... (Preview) Many my remember and know my story with my aH. Separated for 2 and a half years. We have a young son together. The marriage and the separation have included a miriad of trials and tribulations related to the chaos of alcoholism. I finally decided to divorce him in December and had divorce papers dra...	Rora	6	886	Apr 28, 2011 by flopadopilus
	scared and alone - kicked husband out (Preview) Forgive me if this is lengthy but it's my first post here. My name is Bridget and I am an adult child and a sister of two alcoholics, one who comitted suicide about a year ago. I was married for 6 years to a recovering drug addict who had been sober for about 5 years when I first met him and is still sober today....	bostonlass	6	4246	Apr 28, 2011 by tommyecat
	Some one tell me what you think (Preview) Sunday my family is getting together for Easter. My AF is off somewhere drinking and has been since Tuesday. I had him leave rather than sit here and drink. But, my 19 year old told my mother. So, my mother is driving me insane right now. My father was an active alcoholic my whole life. He died almost two ye...	katfshh	13	878	Apr 28, 2011 by tommyecat
	Low self esteem would be an upgrade (Preview) I went to our class with my AH on the effects of divorce on children. And it turned into a counseling session. The counselor asked us how we managed out time with the kids and if we kept them out of our fighting and how we share them. After we answered these questions the counselor asked us why we were gettin...	flopadopilus	5	1236	Apr 28, 2011 by kitty
	Help Me See the Light Again (Preview) Hi Family, I'm having a really tough time tonight and need support and encouragement to walk away from what is not good for me. I have been with my abf for a year now. It has been a roller coaster ride. I went through helping him with his comp case (back injury), helped him get his disability, stood by him...	Saved By Grace	9	875	Apr 28, 2011 by tommyecat
	The AA 9th Step Promises (Preview) When I was new to the program my alanon sponsor suggested I read the AA promises each day. (Our group permits the Big Book of AA as part of permitted literature to discuss in meetings). When I read these trying to identify how they would work for for me in my alanon program I said after each promise, &quo...	tommyecat	4	6371	Apr 28, 2011 by linbaba
	Sponsor question #3! (Preview) Just thought I'd run this by the group, particularly for those who've actually taken on the role of Sponsor for others (and subsequently my own Sponsor when she returns a message I just left her.) I've been sponsoring someone since the beginning of the year. This has been such a fantastic learning and...	Aloha	5	782	Apr 28, 2011 by tommyecat
	He is home, update (Preview) My AF went to the ER last night. They discharged him with a perscription of Librium. He is home now, looks like crap. He is remoresful, and says he is going to get back to his recovery. He had 8 months until three weeks ago. I kicked him out on Tuesday. By Friday night he was miserable. I really think that if...	katfshh	6	1129	Apr 28, 2011 by tommyecat
	"Unselfish" actions (Preview) "When I began to work at being really honest, I discovered that many of the things I thought I did unselfishly were pure rationalizations, tricks to get my own way about something." -Lois W. This is soooo true for me. When I got here, I really and truly believed that since my motives were so g...	White Rabbit	6	990	Apr 28, 2011 by tommyecat
	Easter - alone, sick, and trying to surrender with Trust. (Preview) Hi Everyone, Thank you for sharing your stories - I find they help me to feel less alone, more inspired. As I've written before, I am currently staying at my in-laws with my 11-month-old, while my husband has begun an outpatient treatment program and AA meetings. Today I am here alone with my daughter...	KLotus	6	1056	Apr 28, 2011 by tommyecat
	The problem is me (Preview) Real or imagined. Aloha Family...I just did another read of "dating recovering alcoholics" by Drummerchick and refocused...It's not about what is off kilter with "them" but what is off kilter with me...why I got into and stayed in recovery in Al-Anon and the major problem i...	Jerry F	11	1198	Apr 28, 2011 by tommyecat
	doing it differently (Preview) Every so often I can look at a situation I handled and revel in the fact I did it differently. Now as each holiday passes, I am replacing bad memories with good. Toward the end of my marriage, there were many times when my exAH would choose not to come to a family function. Sometimes he stated illness or f...	Loupiness	6	730	Apr 28, 2011 by tommyecat
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The material presented here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method to exchange information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal level.