Forgive me if this is lengthy but it's my first post here. My name is Bridget and I am an adult child and a sister of two alcoholics, one who comitted suicide about a year ago.

I was married for 6 years to a recovering drug addict who had been sober for about 5 years when I first met him and is still sober today.  We divorced and it had nothing to do with booze or drugs, he cheated on me with another woman. C'est la vie and life goes on.

Fast forward to ten years later and I meet the love of my life.  He lives in Cairo, Egypt and against all odds and advice I flew to marry him there. We spent two very long and lonely years getting him his visa to come here with very few visits in between.

He came here and things between he and my two daughters were tense, though I think that's to be expected given 1)they had only met him via skype, 2)he comes from a very different culture and 3) they were just starting puberty so hormones were abundant and flying every which way.

In time things settled down. They got used to his stinky socks and he started putting them in a baggie as to not offend. He got used to sharing his shaving cream and they got used to smelling cooked lamb in the house. Life moved on and although we all had our moments I have to say it was a pretty smooth transition overall.

Last year my sister committed suicide and I had to go away for three days with my dad to take care of her affairs since we live in Boston and she lived in Florida.  When I came back things were very very different.

My husband smokes weed and I was accepting of that as long as it was when the kids were at their dad's house overnight.  I mean I think it should be legalized but that's a subject that's probably pretty touchy around here and not at all the point of my story.  Bottom line I knew when he was high and when he wasn't. Well he started doing it when the kids were home - not in the house...he'd walk around or do it some place else but he would definitely be stoned when he was home.  I would complain about it and he'd stop that for a while but then he'd eventually come home smelling like a skunk and I'd have to tell him like a big baby to go wet your hair down and change your clothes and do NOT talk to the kids while you're high.  He didn't ever drink.  Kind of weird that had he come home and had a beer or two there'd be no issue but because pot is illegal it's an obvious no no.

Well when I got back from Florida he started showing signs of being on something MUCH more than weed. A week later he collapsed on our bedroom floor and ended up almost dying of a bleeding ulcer. The surgeon made a point to tell me that it took a LOT to get him under the anesthesia so that they could operate.  He had a regular script of ultram and after he got home his doctor refused to refill it because he said he tested him and found opiates in his system. I asked him and he lied and told me he didn't know why that would be.

The times where he'd look like he'd taken something really bad seemed to increase but there were so many other things going on. He was depressed because he missed Egypt and he was exhausted a lot of the time from working double shifts so I chalked it up to the combination of the two.

Well I just had a hysterectomy about a month ago and have been having a hard time adjusting to my hormonal patch so I have a bit of insomnia going on. Three nights ago I came downstairs at 2am to see what he was doing (he gets home late from work cuz he's a waitor so it's normal for him to stay up late) and I caught him red handed with two shot glasses. One had water in it and the other had this white powdery stuff. He said he didn't know what it was and I said I didn't just fall off the turnip truck so he told me it was oxycontin.  I was confused because it's a pill so why crush it up. That's what went through my mind when I saw a needle cap. I was fuming and kept demanding him to show me the needle and eventually he did.

Fast forward to the next day and he had a flight back to Cairo booked on my demand and 5 am the next morning I drove him to the airport. He's now at home in Cairo with his family. He packed all his belongings and the airline lost every bit of his luggage. The first night he was a wreck crying hysterically the whole time. Tonight is night two and I called him and all of a sudden he's fine, he thinks it's out of his system (he had been doing it for a year!), his sisters are sending him to detox and he's just pissed that I told my family since that will make it hard for him to come back but he agrees that I did the right thing.

He kept stressing that he's doing this because he loves me and if he didn't love me so much he would not have got on the connecting flight from NYC. (meanwhile his baggage was going to Cairo so wth would he have done with just the clothes on his back, eh?)

So here I am. Raw and not knowing what to do. My parents already assume the marriage is done and asked when I'm changing my name.  My oldest daughter is tons more relaxed and is talking to me more than ever. My youngest is freaked out so not sure what she's feeling.

If it weren't for the kids I would tell him to go to rehab and talk to me via skype every night so that I can see whether or not I believe that he's clean and then MAYBE I'd take him back, but what if I do that and then he relapses and my kids are scared again?

Help!