Meetings and after math feelings - Al-Anon Family Group

roonpugs · Member

Meetings and after math feelings

wp · ~*Service Worker*~

I'd say keep going back. When you start to listen to how others use the alanon tools, you'll be able to get better. Congratulations on taking your first step....going to alanon! You have already recognized that your life seems unmanageable, and now you can go forward. (((roonpugs)))

wp

White Rabbit · ~*Service Worker*~

Good for you for going!

My sponsor says that things didn't get to where they are at their worst overnight. It will take time and work to get better, but it WILL get better. Alanon is a safe place to let all the bad stuff out and just be human for a while. Crying, if you need to cry, is healing. Seems like the healing is happening already, even if it's not so obvious to you yet. :)

purpleraven · Veteran Member

oh yes, definitely! at my first few meetings i held back the tears, i could barely check in, i'd run to the restroom afterward and cry. i think it was because it was such a huge relief to be with people who'd know what i was going through. i also dealt with so much hurt and anger and resentment that would blossom up and out - seemed like it was only at meetings. i even wondered if i was doing the wrong thing, but i learned my crying meant i was doing the right thing, because i finally felt *free* to feel my own hurt and anger! keep going back and you'll definitely go forward.

pineapple · ~*Service Worker*~

I've never been to a face to face meeting but I attend the ones online when I can. Maybe that made it easier for me to cry (and I did, often still do.) But as White Rabbit said, crying can be healing. Even though I cried my eyes out those first few times, I felt so much better after. It took me ages to share for the first time. Don't worry about not being able to talk, you will when you're ready. I hope you'll keep going back.

kitty · ~*Service Worker*~

Yes. It is important to note that the emotional work you will do in program, will often leave you feeling very tired and drained, it is part of it bc the "total" of all of our feelings we have stuffed and not looked at, and all of the denial we stay in to get to alanon - it is a lot there - the good news is, working through it, eventually you will be so free and light from it all. Yes, it takes work and you know you most likely will be tired. That is merely something to keep in mind and to allow you a little more space, understanding, compassion and empathy. Program and self love is scary bc we have never done it before and anything new we embark on, can be a lil scary, that's ok. Take extra special care of you, pamper yourself and be kind and gentle with yourself. You are not alone.

I too attend our online meetings here at MIP for (almost) 6 years now. I love the total anonymity and I cry, I LOL, I get up and grab a water &/or pet one of my cats. Do what works for you. For me, online made it much more easy for me to be brutally honest with myself, others and my program. I am brutally honest about myself in the chat room and this board. some of the things you may discover about your thoughts or feelings, well it may allow you to feel a lot of ways, just go with the feelings, accept them. That is the only way to change, is to face it and embrace it, then you can change what no longer works for you &/or what you no longer value.

Here is a quote from one of my favorite healing authors, "Tears are the rivers of life, shed in sadness and great joy." -louise hay Incidentally scientists tell us that we release toxins when we cry, so it truly is healing. I have cried a river and its ok. Better out then in, are tears like gas? I think so! Im j/k enJOY your day and take care of YOU whatever that looks like.

GailMichelle · ~*Service Worker*~

I'm so glad that you're attending Al-Anon! I've only been attending meetings since early last month. In that short time, I've observed most newcomers cry. Everyone completely understands. Crying can be healing. Allow it.

Prior to attending meetings, I had lots of counseling. It was during those sessions I cried. And yes, I would be exhausted after those sessions.

So crying and feeling exhausted is part of the process for most of us. You're on your way! Keep moving forward and riding those emotional waves. They will deliver you to a whole different shore!

abbyal · ~*Service Worker*~

Hearing people talk about how you have felt for yrs is emotional , first your hearing that your really not crazy or the only one to feel that way and then you realize your not alone anymore biggggggggg emotional turmoil for alot of us . Keep going to meetings cry until your done talk when your ready ,it is the only place I have found where you can do that and no one tells you to shut up or to stop . Your gonna be just fine . Louise

Debilyn · ~*Service Worker*~

hon most people are uncomfortable in a new situation! You are completely normal!I mean how many people like thinking about talking to a bunch of strangers? It takes time. Remember how we were always scared to go back to school?We could have been with the same group all our lives and still be uncomfy.

I moved so will go to my meeting with a different group of people. You would think I would not be nervous. But I am. They are the nicest people too!

Just like anything else, it takes time to get used to a new situation, soon it will be so familiar to you.

I moved to a neat place. But even with all my stuff, my mongrels and my cat, I still feel so off balanced and wierd. Takes time!

Keep talking about it here. One thing I do for me is I allow myself to feel like I do. Then I sit and smile at people, and I say hello.After the meeting if you can, you can always ask someone else how they are doing.

You can share how you feel. That you are scared, and still getting used to everything. EVERYONE in there will relate. If they don't, their noses must be huge and long! (c:

hugs, we are all with you,debilyn

tommyecat · ~*Service Worker*~

In my first face to face meetings I took it all in, did not share for a few months. It was a lot of information. Its o.k. to be an observer. It takes time to trust that the alanon rooms are a safe place to share. When I finally shared, I became unraveled. Everything I carried on my back and stuffed inside fell out of my mouth on several occasions. Some meetings I just cried. I think that is part of the process. Keep coming back for the six meetings. It is a wonderful program. It works if you work it.

The material presented here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method to exchange information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal level.