Al-Anon Family Group - Al-Anon Family Group

Becki67 · Becki67

Well, that didn't work. I've been doing so good just going on and not letting things bother me. But, I just went off on him on the phone and hung up on him. The entire day yesterday I never heard from the ABF while he was on the road. He typically calls several times a day. The night before he had told me t...

Hoot Nanny · Hoot Nanny

Don't have a lot to say today! I just want to share the LOVE I find on this forum. I am doing rather well. I still feel the blessings that I am showered w/ every day. I am so fortunate to be a SURVIVOR! I have survived a lot of difficult times but today I feel like I am over a hump that I thought I would never get ove...

Mlkiss75 · Mlkiss75

My AH's father returned from a 6 month stay in his native Hungary last weekend. My husband has been struggling big time with his recovery - he and his dad work together and as soon as his dad returned, he expected my AH to jump right back into work again. I'm not blaming his dad - my husband needs to take ca...

amills4294 · amills4294

OK, I know it never goes away, but I've done a fairly good job detaching myself from her disease. But, I'm not perfect and there are times that it just hits me in the face again. She went in for surgery for a blocked carotid artery. My father told me the night before she went in, she went out and bought 4 la...

John · John

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Lindaoakford · Lindaoakford

Hi I have been pondering.. as I do... What are examples of boundaries that people have? Particularly those of you in Al Anon long term (lets say over a year or so for the sake of it), and living with the active user. Other comments naturally appreciated also. Where do you draw the line? If you know the pe...

_heather_ · _heather_

Alcoholism is brand new to me. So is my marriage. My husband is an alcoholic. I knew he had trouble with alcohol before we got married but I never knew how bad it really was. After our wedding, it was terrible. He was hiding bottles everywhere and lying to me about the amount that he drank. About two...

White Rabbit · White Rabbit

What a week it's been! My toddler goes to a home childcare provider's house while I'm at work. Last week, one of the other toddlers had a stomach virus, and the mother brought him back before he was completely well. By the next day, (Thursday), all the other kids and the provider had the virus. I got t...

canadianguy · canadianguy

Hi all - I posted this in response to another post a few weeks ago, and thought it might be an interesting "self-reflection" exercise, to see where we think we "fit" in our respective recoveries..... (Remember the immortal words of my sponsor - "it is okay to use self-refl...

Becki67 · Becki67

Good morning everyone, I'd like to get your opinion on something. After this previous weekend (the proverbial "last straw"), I decided to seriously get some help dealing with this monster. I've spent the entire week on here and attended my first meeting on Tuesday. I told the ABF what I...

ilovedogs · ilovedogs

Some of you know that my issues with alcoholics/alcohol abusers isn't just directly related to my AH, my dad was originally my source of pain. He slowly and gradually fell down the slippery slope of alcohol abuse and he said some VERY painful things to me while I was in college. He told me I should have...

Lindaoakford · Lindaoakford

HI again.... I am a bit bored at work today.. I am sitting here pondering .. again... about my Tai Chi class last night. One of the concepts discussed was 'grounding'. Basically, he showed how we can stay stable and grounded when someone pushes us, and we do this by relaxing. We do not push back. We rem...

Lindaoakford · Lindaoakford

I wanted to post about good things I have been feeling pretty low the last few weeks, I am still feeling pretty flat but I am trying to crawl out of it. There has been lots of bad thoughts in my head. I don't know why.... so I thought I would do a 'gratitude' type list. The things that are good right now are; I...

PH · PH

I'm new to Al-anon. My 27 year old son is an alcoholic. He got a DUI back in February and was devastated...Said he would never drink again...but about a week later.... it was back at it. He lives with us...He's started back to school and is doing well...but drinks a 12 pack every night. He doesn't work and...

glad · glad

slipping and sliding as if on ice today,, my mind is all messed up, I'm feeling yuky, my brain knows better but my feelings are all yuk... I wonder if "junkies" miss their drug of choice at the same time are well aware of how using only caused them pain... I feel sick tonight for sure! Good thin...

Becki67 · Becki67

It seems like since I decided to join some support groups and actually go through this entire process, my brain has been just going on overtime. I've done a lot of soulsearching lately and reading these posts makes things stand out to me. I'm an extremely independent person. I've lived alone a lot an...

belle_TU · belle_TU

I have a good enough but unsatisfying job. I've started the process of going back to school for the career I would really like, so I'm addressing the unsatisfying part, but in the meantime, I've got about a year left. Like a lot of Al-Anon folk, I am HYPER COMPETENT. This can make me a very good worker, but...

Kvothe · Kvothe

Hey people. My girlfriend of 5 years and mother of my children is an addict and we have been put through the ringer in the last year or so. She's been using then getting caught and saying she's clean many times over that time. The last time she got caught was about a month ago and now she's in outpatient and t...

ilovedogs · ilovedogs

Well, AH and I are back from our week in Nevis, West Indies. It was a wonderful vacation and I didn't 'see' him drink during the vacation. There was one day where he went golfing without me and he came back very 'happy' and snored like crazy that night and I suspected that he drank that night, but I didn't...

lostinspace · lostinspace

Hello everyone!!! I just found this site today and am already encouraged by what I have read so far. My story: I have been married for almost 5 years. I live with my husband and his teenage son. My husband is an alcoholic and has been before I met him. I'm at the point right now in our marriage where I am ready...

nmike · nmike

We are still married. He still threatens divorce. We have lived apart for six years. We have less and less contact. My question is: how do you stay away from them/avoid them because it is just too uncomfortable to be around him. He talks about his great life, other women, and how happy he is without me. I d...

Hot Chicka · Hot Chicka

I feel stuck. AH has stopped going to AA, and decided it is OK for him to drink casually again. I'm not stressing out about it because I now have boundaries, and understand I have options. Our marriage is actually doing better than it has in a long time. We communicate better, and fight less. I don't d...

KeepingFaith · KeepingFaith

I talked with my ex Abf yesterday and we agreed to meet up tonight before I came into work. He flat out stood me up. No call. No text. No response to me. I left a voice mail. This time stating i couldn't talk to him anymore. Told him I would like him to come find me when he gets himself back. I then sent one la...

Ingwe · Ingwe

He is 26 and went through rehab in February. I was definitely the person who always rescued him previously and have learned a lot since then. He just moved into his own apartment after staying in an Oxford House for 4 months after rehab. I am beginning to see the red flags again and I don't know what to do...

Jenny29 · Jenny29

Hello all, I joined here last night, I am really impressed at the quality of the replies and that its a great resource for people that need it-like me I suppose. The alcoholic in my life is my 40 year old brother, I will be 29 in a few days and I am just so worn out trying to fix other people and getting nowhere I...

Jackie11 · Jackie11

Tonight is the night for my first F2F meeting. While I'm nervous and unsure I'm also ready. I got the book Getting Them Sober by Toby Rice Drews from the library yesterday, I'm a little over half way through. I'm so glad y'all recommended it. While reading I can see where I've already taken proper steps....

Doozy · Doozy

So....about a month ago my on-again-off-again exboyfriend came back to me begging to get back together. We had more than 3 years together and a lot of good times. I really loved him and I (mistakenly) thought we could have a future together. Anyway, he's the main qualifier that got me into Alanon tho...

coffeegrounds · coffeegrounds

Well my bipolar AH went into detox today. He will have what I believe is a solid recovery program when he gets out. AA, outpatient rehab program and a psychosocial rehab specialist. So why don't I feel relief? He has been to a 30 day live in rehab program last June was sober for 10months, then decide...

Hoot Nanny · Hoot Nanny

If it keeps getting & better I don't know what I am going to do! I just keep remembering that it has gotten so bad over the years that I have to focus on TODAY! I am still reminiscing on the past too much. Just the other day, I was trying to remember something from the Past w/ my ex-AH. I just wanted to reliv...

NaomiMarie · NaomiMarie

I finally got mad at him. it always seemed like I would be mad while he was gone for the week of drinking but as soon as he was home again I couldn't stay mad. I always said I understood and made excuses, lied to myself and let him continue lying to me and himself. what finally tipped me over was he came to my fat...

Tracy · Tracy

I ended my relationship with my ABf a couple of weeks ago after he broke a boundary went missingfor days partin with other girls. I told him I could not have contact as it hurts. He sent odd text about silly stuff but I stuck to guns need to move on. Then when I never heard from him for a couple of days I star...

Becki67 · Becki67

I'm going to apologize up front for the length of this post. I've been living with an alcoholic for about 6 years now. He was my first crush when I was 13...we got together 20 years later. I love him but I don't like him much anymore. We have a home together and he has two kids (50% of the time) and I have c...

Pushka · Pushka

to say that everything is so good why bother going to alanon. I could easily pretend that everything is going to be fine and I can stop and take a break. After all I'm cured and he's cured .. (you all can stop laughing now ) This is me and my defunct thinking. Knowing my defunct thinking is sitting at the s...

Hoot Nanny · Hoot Nanny

Just want to say that isn't it funny how memories can bring us to a different place. I just recently got a new FB friend that picked on me in Jr. High. She probably doesn't even remember bullying me. I don't even remember why she did! I just think it is funny that we can be friends even though sometimes the fr...

Hoot Nanny · Hoot Nanny

Occasionally I vent on this forum. Today I just want to say that it is a good day & I don't need to vent after a pretty good weekend! My husband & I got a lot accomplished. It seems like when we work together we can get a lot done! What a concept! My mom & I also enjoyed the weekend together--every...

kris10 · kris10

My god! Up until now... Im going to be really honest right here and say that I really didn't think I was a part of the problem.. I've honestly always thought... I'm right, of course I'M right because I'M NOT the one with the problem....If they would just LISTEN to me and do things MY WAY, the way I WANT it (th...

amills4294 · amills4294

I haven't posted in a few days. My husband and I are trying a trial back together in our home for 30 days. I will admit that the emotional tug of war is nice to have stopped but I still feel a lot of anger inside. He seems very happy and content to be back in our home. I have to admit I miss my space. I walk int...

Michelle814 · Michelle814

IT TOOK ME 27 YEARS. I WAS RAISED CATHOLIC AND HAVE ALWAYS WORRIED AND FELT BAD ABOUT NOT FEELING IT.. NOT FEELING RELIGION IN GENERAL. I HAVE ALWAYS BELIEVED IN GOD I JUST NEVER FELT A TRUE CONNECTION TO IT.. UNTIL NOW. I HAVE REALLY LET GO.. AND AM LETTING GO MORE AND MORE EVERY DAY, LITERALY SAYING OU...

rehprof · rehprof

My AH and I are divorcing. long story short we still have a joint checking account to pay loans that are joint (autopay)...inclyuding the mortgage (which I have paid ALONE since june) and a snowmobile loan. In february,( we had been separated for 3 months then) I asked him for his debit card because he...

Sponge6819 · Sponge6819

Hi. I am new to this forum and am a little nervous and embarrassed to post here. I've been going to ala non meetings for quite a while and feel like I keep getting sucked back into my babies fathers negative alcoholic mess. I seem to be strong for a few HOURS and then lose it again. I fall back into defending m...

Green Eyes · Green Eyes

I have learned so much through my Alanon weekly meetings, my sponsor, Alanon literature, and my counselor; and I am so thankful for the tools I have gained these past couple of years. Just to catch you up again, I moved out of our home a little over 6 months ago so that I could both mentally AND physically d...

Becki67 · Becki67

I have so much to talk about...I may post 50 times today...just kidding. I just asked this question to someone who emailed me on here and I wanted to ask you guys. Is it possible to live with an alcoholic and be fulfilled or am I just postponing the inevitable? Half of me asks myself...is this really how y...

Diva · Diva

It is true I haven't been here for several months....Doesn't mean I haven't had all of you in my positive thoughts and prayers. Doesn't mean I haven't wanted to tell some of you what I think...good or bad...I send great love and caring all around, and when this move is complete, I'll be back to get the pl...

helpmeplease · helpmeplease

help me please. My husband is in complete and absolute denial that he has a problem with drinking. He is blaming me and my anger for his reason to drink. He states that he just wants to enjoy life, but my life is being affected by him choosing alcohol over his wife and his son. He has said he would stop dr...

Baby_Steps · Baby_Steps

I'm so happy to find this forum. I have been trying to find support groups in my area, but proving difficult. I will find support eventually, and look forward to being active on this board and making many dear friends. For now, I would greatly appreciate immediate advice for my situation. My husba...

mslouise · mslouise

Hi everyone. Just wanted to say thank you to everyone on this board, and the board in general for being such a great support. I am moving and don't think I will have internet for a while if at all. To sum up what Al-Anon did for me : Here is a girl from a A household, that walked in to another A's life when o...

atheos · atheos

Over the last few days, my head has been full of: "I need to lose 20-30 pounds, I have hair growing in places a woman should not have hair, I have cystic acne that nothing seems to cure, disgustingly saggy b**bs, and all the natural grace of a bull in a china shop. I can't dance, I look like a dork with gl...

Lindaoakford · Lindaoakford

We went to a concert on Sunday night (cold chisel, an Aussie band.... very famous, not sure how much so overseas).. anyhoooo. It is very unusual to have live concerts where I live because its so 'far away' from everything and a small population so to see an iconic band which I have loved since my preteens...

Tracy · Tracy

Hi everyone would like your thoughts I wwent to my first area meeting as a alternative group representative yesterdat and loved it. I enjoyed learnin more about al anon. One of the topics on our agenda was al ateen England does have some al ateen groups but it is not as strong as it shouls be and our area l...

Jenn · Jenn

I'm the eighteen year old daughter of a raging alcoholic. Currently, I'm a sophomore at a college over 200 miles from home. I have two little brothers and a dad, all three of whom are great, and a dog named Penny. She's my anchor. I'm new at talking about this, so I think I'll just give you all my background...

orchidlover · orchidlover

I was reading a bio/interview on the internet yesterday and the alcholic (not in recovery) said they felt their (husband) stayed with them as a way of punishing themselves. I think that would explain why I stuck it out so long in my last relationship and why I've found it so hard to extricate myself fro...

KeepingFaith · KeepingFaith

I'm sad tonight. At work so sorry for short post but feel like hell. Saw my xAb at a stop light. Amazing how much love I could still see between us. He texted me to ask how i was. It makes me miss him even more. And all I want is our life together :( But that can't be until he does the work he needs for himself. ...

Jackie11 · Jackie11

Something I've found, and for whatever reason it helps, is that I'm not the only one who sees that life and progress are often 3 steps forward and 2 steps back or 2 steps forward and 3 back or some variation of this pattern. Yesterday morning my AH shocked me by showing up with baby girl (his daughter) to c...

John · John

A lesson based on personal experience!When trying to move up the ladder of life be very careful. The closer you get to the top...the futher the fall.Violet took this picture at hospital before we knew the wrist in sling was also fractured. i guess the shock kept the pain in it at bay longer than my righ...

Jules1011 · Jules1011

I shared last week that i had asked my ex to leave which he did, initially he continually contacted me asking me to reconsider but I had been on a merry-go-round for so long it was time I jumped off. He is coming down to get the rest of his stuff today, I feel okay about it, but Im worried that when I see him I wil...

Pushka · Pushka

Ok .. you guys .. LOL .. I don't know what God is trying to tell me, however I just have had the oddest morning. I have shared that mama had her kittens in the back of the truck .. lol .. poor truck. Well, we had talked about moving them all inside or something the weather is horribly cold as in not normal for t...

GreenerGrass · GreenerGrass

Hi, new here, just wanted to share more of what I'm feeling. I went to my first alanon meeting, kids in tow because I have nobody to watch them. My AH took a job out of state, against my wishes, is renting a room there until our house sells here. So, basically am in this town(have lived here two years) and onl...

Hoot Nanny · Hoot Nanny

I am so proud of my AH--He is celebrating his 5th AA birthday today! For those of you who don't know what that means, He has 5 years of sobriety! I don't think any of you don't know what that means though really. I am so happy that we have been through the last years of his recovery. I am grateful too. God is so g...

rehprof · rehprof

so...I messaged my new bfs daughter on facebook and she didn't respond...yet I can see she is online.. I immediately jump to all these conclusions.."she doesn't like me" "OMG, she hates me and that will affect my relationship with her dad.." I'm in total reaction mode and want...

GreenerGrass · GreenerGrass

Hi all, well I think I practiced self care for the first time today. This morning I was trying to be cheerful and redress AH a cute pic of our boy, but no reply. About an hour later I called him and he was acting all moody and like he was busy and mad at me. So that got me mad. Later, I was trying to do the checkbook...

Topic		Started By	Replies	Views	Last Post
	So much for detachment (Preview) Well, that didn't work. I've been doing so good just going on and not letting things bother me. But, I just went off on him on the phone and hung up on him. The entire day yesterday I never heard from the ABF while he was on the road. He typically calls several times a day. The night before he had told me t...	Becki67	6	550	Oct 29, 2011 by Jerry F
	not much to say but I will post anyway! (Preview) Don't have a lot to say today! I just want to share the LOVE I find on this forum. I am doing rather well. I still feel the blessings that I am showered w/ every day. I am so fortunate to be a SURVIVOR! I have survived a lot of difficult times but today I feel like I am over a hump that I thought I would never get ove...	Hoot Nanny	3	391	Oct 29, 2011 by Jerry F
	Plugging along (Preview) My AH's father returned from a 6 month stay in his native Hungary last weekend. My husband has been struggling big time with his recovery - he and his dad work together and as soon as his dad returned, he expected my AH to jump right back into work again. I'm not blaming his dad - my husband needs to take ca...	Mlkiss75	12	467	Oct 28, 2011 by Debilyn
	facing my mom's alcoholism - again... thankful for alanon (Preview) OK, I know it never goes away, but I've done a fairly good job detaching myself from her disease. But, I'm not perfect and there are times that it just hits me in the face again. She went in for surgery for a blocked carotid artery. My father told me the night before she went in, she went out and bought 4 la...	amills4294	2	358	Oct 28, 2011 by Debilyn
	Before the Morning... (Preview) [video=]	John	0	266	Oct 28, 2011 by John
	what are your boundaries (Preview) Hi I have been pondering.. as I do... What are examples of boundaries that people have? Particularly those of you in Al Anon long term (lets say over a year or so for the sake of it), and living with the active user. Other comments naturally appreciated also. Where do you draw the line? If you know the pe...	Lindaoakford	18	627	Oct 28, 2011 by White Rabbit
	Just beginning to understand the disease (Preview) Alcoholism is brand new to me. So is my marriage. My husband is an alcoholic. I knew he had trouble with alcohol before we got married but I never knew how bad it really was. After our wedding, it was terrible. He was hiding bottles everywhere and lying to me about the amount that he drank. About two...	_heather_	6	547	Oct 28, 2011 by flopadopilus
	Tired, and trying to remember to take care of myself first (Preview) What a week it's been! My toddler goes to a home childcare provider's house while I'm at work. Last week, one of the other toddlers had a stomach virus, and the mother brought him back before he was completely well. By the next day, (Thursday), all the other kids and the provider had the virus. I got t...	White Rabbit	8	549	Oct 28, 2011 by flopadopilus
	Where am I in my own recovery?? (Preview) Hi all - I posted this in response to another post a few weeks ago, and thought it might be an interesting "self-reflection" exercise, to see where we think we "fit" in our respective recoveries..... (Remember the immortal words of my sponsor - "it is okay to use self-refl...	canadianguy	18	1323	Oct 28, 2011 by flopadopilus
	No Big Thang! (Preview) Good morning everyone, I'd like to get your opinion on something. After this previous weekend (the proverbial "last straw"), I decided to seriously get some help dealing with this monster. I've spent the entire week on here and attended my first meeting on Tuesday. I told the ABF what I...	Becki67	14	851	Oct 28, 2011 by Hot Chicka
	Forgiving my father (Preview) Some of you know that my issues with alcoholics/alcohol abusers isn't just directly related to my AH, my dad was originally my source of pain. He slowly and gradually fell down the slippery slope of alcohol abuse and he said some VERY painful things to me while I was in college. He told me I should have...	ilovedogs	5	492	Oct 27, 2011 by Pushka
	Tai Chi (Preview) HI again.... I am a bit bored at work today.. I am sitting here pondering .. again... about my Tai Chi class last night. One of the concepts discussed was 'grounding'. Basically, he showed how we can stay stable and grounded when someone pushes us, and we do this by relaxing. We do not push back. We rem...	Lindaoakford	8	472	Oct 27, 2011 by jitsuka
	good things (Preview) I wanted to post about good things I have been feeling pretty low the last few weeks, I am still feeling pretty flat but I am trying to crawl out of it. There has been lots of bad thoughts in my head. I don't know why.... so I thought I would do a 'gratitude' type list. The things that are good right now are; I...	Lindaoakford	3	338	Oct 27, 2011 by youfoundme
	I'm new to al-anon (Preview) I'm new to Al-anon. My 27 year old son is an alcoholic. He got a DUI back in February and was devastated...Said he would never drink again...but about a week later.... it was back at it. He lives with us...He's started back to school and is doing well...but drinks a 12 pack every night. He doesn't work and...	PH	6	415	Oct 27, 2011 by Ingwe
	slipping and sliding!! (Preview) slipping and sliding as if on ice today,, my mind is all messed up, I'm feeling yuky, my brain knows better but my feelings are all yuk... I wonder if "junkies" miss their drug of choice at the same time are well aware of how using only caused them pain... I feel sick tonight for sure! Good thin...	glad	5	459	Oct 27, 2011 by Jules1011
	Lightbulb going off!!! (Preview) It seems like since I decided to join some support groups and actually go through this entire process, my brain has been just going on overtime. I've done a lot of soulsearching lately and reading these posts makes things stand out to me. I'm an extremely independent person. I've lived alone a lot an...	Becki67	23	561	Oct 27, 2011 by Becki67
	Work rage rage work coworkers (Preview) I have a good enough but unsatisfying job. I've started the process of going back to school for the career I would really like, so I'm addressing the unsatisfying part, but in the meantime, I've got about a year left. Like a lot of Al-Anon folk, I am HYPER COMPETENT. This can make me a very good worker, but...	belle_TU	4	8173	Oct 26, 2011 by Debilyn
	New to this board. Going through some tough stuff. (Preview) Hey people. My girlfriend of 5 years and mother of my children is an addict and we have been put through the ringer in the last year or so. She's been using then getting caught and saying she's clean many times over that time. The last time she got caught was about a month ago and now she's in outpatient and t...	Kvothe	13	526	Oct 26, 2011 by pinkchip
	Darn proud of myself! (Preview) Well, AH and I are back from our week in Nevis, West Indies. It was a wonderful vacation and I didn't 'see' him drink during the vacation. There was one day where he went golfing without me and he came back very 'happy' and snored like crazy that night and I suspected that he drank that night, but I didn't...	ilovedogs	8	520	Oct 26, 2011 by pinkchip
	In Need of Serious Help (Preview) Hello everyone!!! I just found this site today and am already encouraged by what I have read so far. My story: I have been married for almost 5 years. I live with my husband and his teenage son. My husband is an alcoholic and has been before I met him. I'm at the point right now in our marriage where I am ready...	lostinspace	12	604	Oct 26, 2011 by lostinspace
	Staying Away From Your Ex (Preview) We are still married. He still threatens divorce. We have lived apart for six years. We have less and less contact. My question is: how do you stay away from them/avoid them because it is just too uncomfortable to be around him. He talks about his great life, other women, and how happy he is without me. I d...	nmike	2	401	Oct 26, 2011 by flopadopilus
	I Feel Stuck (Preview) I feel stuck. AH has stopped going to AA, and decided it is OK for him to drink casually again. I'm not stressing out about it because I now have boundaries, and understand I have options. Our marriage is actually doing better than it has in a long time. We communicate better, and fight less. I don't d...	Hot Chicka	10	773	Oct 26, 2011 by orchidlover
	Sucke right back in... (Preview) I talked with my ex Abf yesterday and we agreed to meet up tonight before I came into work. He flat out stood me up. No call. No text. No response to me. I left a voice mail. This time stating i couldn't talk to him anymore. Told him I would like him to come find me when he gets himself back. I then sent one la...	KeepingFaith	5	540	Oct 26, 2011 by flopadopilus
	Hello everyone. New member, my son is an alcoholic.... (Preview) He is 26 and went through rehab in February. I was definitely the person who always rescued him previously and have learned a lot since then. He just moved into his own apartment after staying in an Oxford House for 4 months after rehab. I am beginning to see the red flags again and I don't know what to do...	Ingwe	8	714	Oct 26, 2011 by Ingwe
	Need advice please... (Preview) Hello all, I joined here last night, I am really impressed at the quality of the replies and that its a great resource for people that need it-like me I suppose. The alcoholic in my life is my 40 year old brother, I will be 29 in a few days and I am just so worn out trying to fix other people and getting nowhere I...	Jenny29	8	529	Oct 26, 2011 by flopadopilus
	Tonight is the night (Preview) Tonight is the night for my first F2F meeting. While I'm nervous and unsure I'm also ready. I got the book Getting Them Sober by Toby Rice Drews from the library yesterday, I'm a little over half way through. I'm so glad y'all recommended it. While reading I can see where I've already taken proper steps....	Jackie11	10	401	Oct 26, 2011 by flopadopilus
	Feels like he chose the booze... (Preview) So....about a month ago my on-again-off-again exboyfriend came back to me begging to get back together. We had more than 3 years together and a lot of good times. I really loved him and I (mistakenly) thought we could have a future together. Anyway, he's the main qualifier that got me into Alanon tho...	Doozy	12	606	Oct 26, 2011 by Pushka
	AH went to detox today,need to vent (Preview) Well my bipolar AH went into detox today. He will have what I believe is a solid recovery program when he gets out. AA, outpatient rehab program and a psychosocial rehab specialist. So why don't I feel relief? He has been to a 30 day live in rehab program last June was sober for 10months, then decide...	coffeegrounds	14	641	Oct 26, 2011 by pinkchip
	If it keeps getting better & better! (Preview) If it keeps getting & better I don't know what I am going to do! I just keep remembering that it has gotten so bad over the years that I have to focus on TODAY! I am still reminiscing on the past too much. Just the other day, I was trying to remember something from the Past w/ my ex-AH. I just wanted to reliv...	Hoot Nanny	3	426	Oct 26, 2011 by tommyecat
	I finally got mad... (Preview) I finally got mad at him. it always seemed like I would be mad while he was gone for the week of drinking but as soon as he was home again I couldn't stay mad. I always said I understood and made excuses, lied to myself and let him continue lying to me and himself. what finally tipped me over was he came to my fat...	NaomiMarie	9	454	Oct 25, 2011 by Pushka
	seperate recoveries (Preview) I ended my relationship with my ABf a couple of weeks ago after he broke a boundary went missingfor days partin with other girls. I told him I could not have contact as it hurts. He sent odd text about silly stuff but I stuck to guns need to move on. Then when I never heard from him for a couple of days I star...	Tracy	3	400	Oct 25, 2011 by DadtoCandE
	Newbie here...so confused (Preview) I'm going to apologize up front for the length of this post. I've been living with an alcoholic for about 6 years now. He was my first crush when I was 13...we got together 20 years later. I love him but I don't like him much anymore. We have a home together and he has two kids (50% of the time) and I have c...	Becki67	12	606	Oct 25, 2011 by flopadopilus
	It would be so easy .. (Preview) to say that everything is so good why bother going to alanon. I could easily pretend that everything is going to be fine and I can stop and take a break. After all I'm cured and he's cured .. (you all can stop laughing now ) This is me and my defunct thinking. Knowing my defunct thinking is sitting at the s...	Pushka	5	512	Oct 25, 2011 by Jennifer
	Isn't it funny... (Preview) Just want to say that isn't it funny how memories can bring us to a different place. I just recently got a new FB friend that picked on me in Jr. High. She probably doesn't even remember bullying me. I don't even remember why she did! I just think it is funny that we can be friends even though sometimes the fr...	Hoot Nanny	4	391	Oct 25, 2011 by Debilyn
	glad to have this to vent! (Preview) Occasionally I vent on this forum. Today I just want to say that it is a good day & I don't need to vent after a pretty good weekend! My husband & I got a lot accomplished. It seems like when we work together we can get a lot done! What a concept! My mom & I also enjoyed the weekend together--every...	Hoot Nanny	2	320	Oct 25, 2011 by Debilyn
	5th step troubles (Preview) My god! Up until now... Im going to be really honest right here and say that I really didn't think I was a part of the problem.. I've honestly always thought... I'm right, of course I'M right because I'M NOT the one with the problem....If they would just LISTEN to me and do things MY WAY, the way I WANT it (th...	kris10	14	1041	Oct 25, 2011 by Michelle814
	struggling a bit (Preview) I haven't posted in a few days. My husband and I are trying a trial back together in our home for 30 days. I will admit that the emotional tug of war is nice to have stopped but I still feel a lot of anger inside. He seems very happy and content to be back in our home. I have to admit I miss my space. I walk int...	amills4294	5	485	Oct 25, 2011 by Pushka
	I AM FINALLY FINDING FAITH LET GO AND LET GOD (Preview) IT TOOK ME 27 YEARS. I WAS RAISED CATHOLIC AND HAVE ALWAYS WORRIED AND FELT BAD ABOUT NOT FEELING IT.. NOT FEELING RELIGION IN GENERAL. I HAVE ALWAYS BELIEVED IN GOD I JUST NEVER FELT A TRUE CONNECTION TO IT.. UNTIL NOW. I HAVE REALLY LET GO.. AND AM LETTING GO MORE AND MORE EVERY DAY, LITERALY SAYING OU...	Michelle814	6	1679	Oct 25, 2011 by Michelle814
	Will it ever be done? (Preview) My AH and I are divorcing. long story short we still have a joint checking account to pay loans that are joint (autopay)...inclyuding the mortgage (which I have paid ALONE since june) and a snowmobile loan. In february,( we had been separated for 3 months then) I asked him for his debit card because he...	rehprof	11	628	Oct 25, 2011 by youfoundme
	Feel like iwill never escape this (Preview) Hi. I am new to this forum and am a little nervous and embarrassed to post here. I've been going to ala non meetings for quite a while and feel like I keep getting sucked back into my babies fathers negative alcoholic mess. I seem to be strong for a few HOURS and then lose it again. I fall back into defending m...	Sponge6819	9	532	Oct 25, 2011 by youfoundme
	I Visited Crazytown Last Night- Thank God I Decided Not to Stay! Crazytown detachment (Preview) I have learned so much through my Alanon weekly meetings, my sponsor, Alanon literature, and my counselor; and I am so thankful for the tools I have gained these past couple of years. Just to catch you up again, I moved out of our home a little over 6 months ago so that I could both mentally AND physically d...	Green Eyes	19	9719	Oct 25, 2011 by tommyecat
	Bet you're sorry you told me to keep posting! LOL (Preview) I have so much to talk about...I may post 50 times today...just kidding. I just asked this question to someone who emailed me on here and I wanted to ask you guys. Is it possible to live with an alcoholic and be fulfilled or am I just postponing the inevitable? Half of me asks myself...is this really how y...	Becki67	18	650	Oct 25, 2011 by maryjane
	Hello All! (Preview) It is true I haven't been here for several months....Doesn't mean I haven't had all of you in my positive thoughts and prayers. Doesn't mean I haven't wanted to tell some of you what I think...good or bad...I send great love and caring all around, and when this move is complete, I'll be back to get the pl...	Diva	6	358	Oct 25, 2011 by Jennifer
	husband in complete denial (Preview) help me please. My husband is in complete and absolute denial that he has a problem with drinking. He is blaming me and my anger for his reason to drink. He states that he just wants to enjoy life, but my life is being affected by him choosing alcohol over his wife and his son. He has said he would stop dr...	helpmeplease	8	347	Oct 24, 2011 by Hot Chicka
	New Member - In a Foreign Land with Relapsed Husband - So Scared (Preview) I'm so happy to find this forum. I have been trying to find support groups in my area, but proving difficult. I will find support eventually, and look forward to being active on this board and making many dear friends. For now, I would greatly appreciate immediate advice for my situation. My husba...	Baby_Steps	8	609	Oct 24, 2011 by flopadopilus
	A Wonderful Happy Farm Ending, and thanks for life lessons in boundries!!!! (Preview) Hi everyone. Just wanted to say thank you to everyone on this board, and the board in general for being such a great support. I am moving and don't think I will have internet for a while if at all. To sum up what Al-Anon did for me : Here is a girl from a A household, that walked in to another A's life when o...	mslouise	7	510	Oct 24, 2011 by flopadopilus
	I need mental shields! (Preview) Over the last few days, my head has been full of: "I need to lose 20-30 pounds, I have hair growing in places a woman should not have hair, I have cystic acne that nothing seems to cure, disgustingly saggy b**bs, and all the natural grace of a bull in a china shop. I can't dance, I look like a dork with gl...	atheos	8	432	Oct 24, 2011 by flopadopilus
	sunday (Preview) We went to a concert on Sunday night (cold chisel, an Aussie band.... very famous, not sure how much so overseas).. anyhoooo. It is very unusual to have live concerts where I live because its so 'far away' from everything and a small population so to see an iconic band which I have loved since my preteens...	Lindaoakford	6	333	Oct 24, 2011 by Lindaoakford
	Al ateen (Preview) Hi everyone would like your thoughts I wwent to my first area meeting as a alternative group representative yesterdat and loved it. I enjoyed learnin more about al anon. One of the topics on our agenda was al ateen England does have some al ateen groups but it is not as strong as it shouls be and our area l...	Tracy	2	826	Oct 24, 2011 by tommyecat
	New here. My mother's an abusive alcoholic, and I'm only recently trying to seek help for myself. Hi. alcoholic mother college lost (Preview) I'm the eighteen year old daughter of a raging alcoholic. Currently, I'm a sophomore at a college over 200 miles from home. I have two little brothers and a dad, all three of whom are great, and a dog named Penny. She's my anchor. I'm new at talking about this, so I think I'll just give you all my background...	Jenn	11	7362	Oct 24, 2011 by Jenny29
	Punishing ourselves (Preview) I was reading a bio/interview on the internet yesterday and the alcholic (not in recovery) said they felt their (husband) stayed with them as a way of punishing themselves. I think that would explain why I stuck it out so long in my last relationship and why I've found it so hard to extricate myself fro...	orchidlover	5	660	Oct 24, 2011 by Jenny29
	Saw my xAb at a stop light (Preview) I'm sad tonight. At work so sorry for short post but feel like hell. Saw my xAb at a stop light. Amazing how much love I could still see between us. He texted me to ask how i was. It makes me miss him even more. And all I want is our life together :( But that can't be until he does the work he needs for himself. ...	KeepingFaith	4	466	Oct 24, 2011 by pineapple
	those steps forward and backward (Preview) Something I've found, and for whatever reason it helps, is that I'm not the only one who sees that life and progress are often 3 steps forward and 2 steps back or 2 steps forward and 3 back or some variation of this pattern. Yesterday morning my AH shocked me by showing up with baby girl (his daughter) to c...	Jackie11	3	338	Oct 24, 2011 by Pushka
	Securing yourself**** (Preview) A lesson based on personal experience!When trying to move up the ladder of life be very careful. The closer you get to the top...the futher the fall.Violet took this picture at hospital before we knew the wrist in sling was also fractured. i guess the shock kept the pain in it at bay longer than my righ...	John	11	2429	Oct 24, 2011 by hawaiilover
	facing my ex today....feel strong but scared he manipulates me (Preview) I shared last week that i had asked my ex to leave which he did, initially he continually contacted me asking me to reconsider but I had been on a merry-go-round for so long it was time I jumped off. He is coming down to get the rest of his stuff today, I feel okay about it, but Im worried that when I see him I wil...	Jules1011	11	493	Oct 23, 2011 by Pushka
	OT - Weird, wonderful and sad .. (Preview) Ok .. you guys .. LOL .. I don't know what God is trying to tell me, however I just have had the oddest morning. I have shared that mama had her kittens in the back of the truck .. lol .. poor truck. Well, we had talked about moving them all inside or something the weather is horribly cold as in not normal for t...	Pushka	14	537	Oct 23, 2011 by tommyecat
	puzzle peices (Preview) Hi, new here, just wanted to share more of what I'm feeling. I went to my first alanon meeting, kids in tow because I have nobody to watch them. My AH took a job out of state, against my wishes, is renting a room there until our house sells here. So, basically am in this town(have lived here two years) and onl...	GreenerGrass	11	602	Oct 23, 2011 by tommyecat
	5th AA birthday--so proud! (Preview) I am so proud of my AH--He is celebrating his 5th AA birthday today! For those of you who don't know what that means, He has 5 years of sobriety! I don't think any of you don't know what that means though really. I am so happy that we have been through the last years of his recovery. I am grateful too. God is so g...	Hoot Nanny	9	627	Oct 23, 2011 by tommyecat
	Jumping to conclusions (Preview) so...I messaged my new bfs daughter on facebook and she didn't respond...yet I can see she is online.. I immediately jump to all these conclusions.."she doesn't like me" "OMG, she hates me and that will affect my relationship with her dad.." I'm in total reaction mode and want...	rehprof	13	564	Oct 23, 2011 by tommyecat
	first time practicing self care (Preview) Hi all, well I think I practiced self care for the first time today. This morning I was trying to be cheerful and redress AH a cute pic of our boy, but no reply. About an hour later I called him and he was acting all moody and like he was busy and mad at me. So that got me mad. Later, I was trying to do the checkbook...	GreenerGrass	5	385	Oct 23, 2011 by tommyecat
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The material presented here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method to exchange information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal level.