vent - Al-Anon Family Group

pineapple · ~*Service Worker*~

vent

tommyecat · ~*Service Worker*~

I am grateful to you for sharing today pineapple. It is my pleasure to give back to the program any way I can. It is better to get out the anger and frustration so we can move past it. Otherwise it will stay buried alive inside us.

Keep doing the next right thing my friend. This too shall pass.

In support,

Tommye

Pushka · ~*Service Worker*~

Hugs Pineapple,

I feel your frustration. There is no easy answer on this one. I can imagine the clean up it must be awful. All you can do is ask, he will or he won't sometimes people do surprise in a good way.

I'm so glad you are, hugs P :)

rosielee · Senior Member

Pinapple- may i spell it that way? i cant remember the proper way. look honey- its not that he didnt want to help you- but his health is shot to pieces right now- did you ask him in the morning? he probably was really hung over.....and if he wasnt hung over the only thing he is probably thinking of is drinking enough until he feels better. and then - maybe he would be up for doing something. this is what addiction is all about yes? he is actually probably in a whole world of pain right now.

Debilyn · ~*Service Worker*~

I am so sorry hon. It's physically hard too! I sure know how you feel and I know how it feels not to have anyone face to face to talk to.

You would not believe how many years it took me after A abandoned us to place everyone and be able to leave my place behind. I could not face another winter there alone.

Hey if you are out there struggling to fix something, its ok to sit and cry it out. I was up on the barn room trying to make it not leak in this one area he messed up badly on. A huge windstorm came up, I sat up there and watched it turn over the gazebo, tear the neighbors siding off, and about blew me off the roof! But I won't forget it!I had a huge I mean huge heavy duty expensive roof tarp trying to get it straight. NOT easy. Next thing I know HP stepped in.

Instead of blowing me off and the "sail" tarp, a huge wind picked it up and layed it perfectly! wow! (c: it seriously was amazing.

aww Everytime I had to do something, I felt hp right there helping me with a hammer, carrying feed and hay in. And the real proof, was when I would find a pot pig down in the mud. they start wiggling and cannot get up and are exausted. I more than once somehow picked these pigs up,every one of the almost and to 200 pounds and carried them to the barn.I had to stop and lean on things and pray more.

Ask HP to help you. Talk to him.

I am so sorry A is so sick. You sure have worked your program. As always you are an inspiration. love,debilyn

Debilyn · ~*Service Worker*~

Hey you know what?

Use your back to carry plywood. ya sorta back yourself under it and lift. works slick.

something heavy, slip an old blanket or a tarp under it and pull it. Need two hands to hold a board? tap one end up then measure up the other, put it in then go to the other side, measure up and tap it in right.

I have learned lots of tricks in my old age and doing it alone most all my adult life. I am here for u if ya need an idea!

love,deb

bud · ~*Service Worker*~

Thank you for sharing. Keeping the focus on ourselves is not always easy. I am grateful for MIP.

Just to add to Debilyn's ... my daughter's old skateboard has moved/ transported many heavy things. I guess our toolkit is her skateboard, chopsticks, a straw, a blanket, and duct tape! So many things that I never thought I could do alone...

pineapple · ~*Service Worker*~

Thanks everyone for the ESH and support. I started off small so I wouldn't feel overwhelmed-hung out towels, pillows, dog bedding, etc. on the line to dry. (we have no clothes dryer.) Then I started cleaning up the debris in the garden. I'm going to have to hire someone to help replace the fence that was smashed when a tree fell on it and to replace the broken wood and tiles on the roof. But I'm doing what I can do. I guess I just needed a ¨poor me¨ day, and I had it. I went down to the woodpile and threw around a bunch of firewood and then had myself a good cry. (Why does throwing things help me to feel better?) Then I went back to work. I think my alanon superpowers needed a day off to recharge. So tomorrow I can call on them again and all will be better.

Jerry F · ~*Service Worker*~

Love yourself as we love you girl...We don't want any hurt and harm to come to you or ourselves so do what you do that is best and do it the best you can...everything else turn over. This is the insanity of alcoholism for you and others. It owns him and not you. Do what you need to do in steps...some little, some larger and always with your Higher Power and MIP/Al-Anon in support. (((((hugs))))) smile

hotrod · ~*Service Worker*~

Hi Pineapple

Glad you cam here and shaared It is so hard living with this disease. As has been already said It is not that he will not help He cannot This disease is deadly.

I am glad you attempted a few things and then decided to hire someone for the big ones. I know that is what I have done. Hire a teenager. It was worth it!!

Loved the suggestion of using the skate Board We are certainly creative people smile

Thanks for sharing the journey

RLC · ~*Service Worker*~

(((Pineapple)))

I'm sorry you are having to go through all the havoc this disease brings into our lives. But it has to be comforting knowing you can come to MIP and receive the love and support you need and deserve during these times. Nothing like having a family who cares and only wants the best for you. It's another way this program allows you to take care of yourself, knowing you never have to be alone. We are always here and HP is always there.

HUGS,
RLC

pinkchip · ~*Service Worker*~

Uggh. Sorry you have to go through that. Sounds not much different than a person that is morbidly obese and has eaten themselve into nonfunctioning. Both are self-imposed slow ways of killing oneself.

flopadopilus · ~*Service Worker*~

I hear ya pineapple. I too thought my A could handle a small task with our kids, because I had to work and asked him to run my preschooler to get school pictures taken and was dismissed from his presents yesterday. I forgot and went to that darn hardware store again. Then I asked someone that can handle it and moved about my day. Keep taking care of yourself! Sending you love and support!

Christy · ~*Service Worker*~

Did a picture need to be hung and a nail pounded in by his bedroom door? LOL! Just kidding.

I too came across the same problem. Hiring someone works. The bottom line is things need to be done and you need help. I had a teen of my own to help, but had I not I would have hired one for the smaller things.

p.s. It feels good to throw the wood around because the situation is so darn frustrating. There's a fine line beween chalking it off to alcoholism and being an enabler doing things he's responsible for too. Sometimes I just had to do what saved my sanity. That'd be changing my focus to the task at hand.

Christy

The material presented here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method to exchange information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal level.