The material presented
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level.
I had a lovely smile this AM when I heard that dang rust bucket of a truck start up .. lol. I'm really happy for my AH we talked about chapters closing last night and this is another closed chapter in the DUI saga.
It's funny, because now I'm thinking oh boy .. LOL .. I'm going to have to put my program talk where my mouth is, because I am no longer in control of driving and he can now come and go as he wants. I know it's going to be ok. I have to let go of the steering wheel very literally and start really paying attention to wanting to grab it back.
A new chapter is opening up right before my eyes and it's one of hope and faith. It's not about my AH, it's about me. The hope and faith I have in me and my higher power and what a wonderful feeling that is WOW. Yesterday my AH phoned me from work and actually asked for my INPUT about him switching jobs within the company. I was floored, I mean happily so however I was so stunned. I wish I could convey in words better how huge this is to me it's almost equal to him coming home and stating he's going to an AA meeting. It's THAT big. Maybe that one is coming down the pipe as well, I don't know, I only know that the man asked me for my INPUT and I am beyond shocked.
For me without Alanon I do not believe this is a conversation I would be having with my AH. I wasn't ready because the I didn't have the hope and faith that I needed in me and I'm starting to learn about my HP. Plus I don't know that my AH would feel any kind of safety to ask for my input if he thought my first reaction would be no. Which in the past it has been because I have felt so unsafe with his choices. He just has chosen to make wild decisions and have no regard for the kids and I. So my instant reaction has been to say no.
He is bidding the job today. We had a lovely discussion about it. Laid out all of the pro's and con's things that could be controlled and what could not. His shift is going to change it won't be long term, probably 1 - 2 years if that. I see shorter however that's another story .. lol. It doesn't matter because I already know he's going to bid the first day job that comes up and that is totally fine. I'm grateful that he's made me a part by asking for my INPUT in this situation.
Staying on my side of the street. Allowing him to be responsible for his choices. Allowing him to state things without taking them personally. Allowing him the dignity to be human. Taking care of me, not trying to control what he is or is not doing. All of this has flooded into other areas of my life as well. I'm grateful that this chapter in my life has opened and each month the DUI chapters are closing. It's a really great feeling of hope and faith.
Thanks for letting me share (again) lol, hugs, P :)
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Stepping onto a brand-new path is difficult, but not more difficult than remaining in a situation, which is not nurturing to the whole woman.- Maya Angelo
That's great P...it really is amazing how things start to fall in place once you start taking care of yourself...(hope I can get to that point :) keep up the good work! Hugs, nyc
Wow! My husband has been making wild decisions without regard for me and the kids too! Didn't know this was a common thing. Feels good to hear I'm not the only one. My AH applies for jobs in different states when he knows we can't and I don't want to move. Most recently he applied for, interviewed and accepted a job in another state, all against my wishes. And its not like he can come home on the weekends, he's about 13 hours away. So, I am left here with the kids, trying to sell the house, and he hardly calls and we don't get along...anyway, interesting to hear that maybe this is an alcoholic symptom.
Well he officially bid the job, he will know by next Thursday what's going on. He deserves some really good things to happen. It's been a rough year of dealing with residual consequences and I see so much growth in him. He's still not done with the full book on the DUI. Yes, I even have a title of that book .. LOL. Mine is The Year I Came to Alanon. The Year of My AH's DUI. His is What Happened to My Wife?! The Year of My DUI. He's doing what he needs to do and taking care of his business. I really want to give him credit where it is due. I laugh God love him, .. do you know he got in the truck tried to start it and the dang thing the battery was dead .. he left the key on and forgot last night .. LOL .. now the reason this is so funny is that's about what happened to me regarding the dang truck when I was driving it .. oi. He sounded like a kid in the candy store talking about driving himself to work today and I'm tickled for him. Charging the battery what he did that morning how he went and put gas in the truck .. lol. I'm really happy for him. It makes it a lot easier to let go and let God in this situation.
The DUI has truly been a blessing in my life .. now .. I could do without the financial impact of it .. however the DUI itself has been a blessing. I know I couldn't say that 6 months ago and I def couldn't say that a year ago .. I spit fire and brimstone a year ago, 6 mo ago probably lessor of the fire and brimstone, however it was totally there. I can say today what a blessing this event has been and how God really watched over him during that event. He wasn't hurt and no one else was .. it's the first on my gratitude list every day.
I also have to add my children .. OMGosh .. God love them .. I think considering the situation and how awkward it is, I give their dad a LOT of credit in dealing with the fact that they have made statements that are not false, however pretty direct. Kid speak and they spend their days with me .. lol .. if it looks like a duck it's a dang duck you can't dress a duck like a goose and call it a duck. Be a duck, .. I happen to like ducks quack, quack. :) I like to deal with reality and my kids are the same way. He's been able to talk to them without being angry at them or at me for that matter.
Hugs P :)
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Stepping onto a brand-new path is difficult, but not more difficult than remaining in a situation, which is not nurturing to the whole woman.- Maya Angelo
