Al-Anon Family Group - Al-Anon Family Group

Hoot Nanny · Hoot Nanny

It is definitely a new day in my life. Things are really looking up. I am so grateful & am willing to do the 3rd Step--turn my will over to the care of God of my understanding. I have grown more spiritually in the past few years even though I practice organized religion. I guess it takes what it takes! W...

Grace7 · Grace7

Hello all. First, our friends 7 yr old dgtr died last week and we are out of state, as we came for her funeral. In the process, things I had planned to put in place of what has come to be a painful time of the year for me and to ease that had to be cancelled. My birthday is at THanksgiving time. This year, aft...

Lindaoakford · Lindaoakford

As some of you may remember, I started seeing a psychologist a few weeks ago. My first appointment was when I was advised that yes I did meet the criteria for Borderline Personality Disorder. The second appointment we mainly got to know my actual psychologist who will take me through the sessions, an...

ladysoblue · ladysoblue

Well, this is my first post ever here. I've wondered for quite awhile if my husband is an alcoholic, but now I pretty much know. He says he doesn't think he is, and that it's the stress and anxiety of owning his own business that is causing him to self-medicate. He has finally started seeing a psychologi...

_heather_ · _heather_

How do you know when enough is enough? I feel as if my life has been put on hold while he tries to get this together. How long do I have to just sit in the sidelines and watch...praying and hoping that things will get better?

Michelle814 · Michelle814

Million dollar question: who has it worse.. the user or the used? So my AH overdosed in a country fair parking lot. He went into the bathroom to "go" but really he was buying pills. He came out and was completely out of it.. his lips were blue and he began convulsing. I was in hysterics. A man h...

looking_for_peace · looking_for_peace

I just wanted to say thank you to all of you who responded to my post regarding my husband's suicide. I am printing the responses so that I can read them over and over. I also plan to share them with his parents, who are suffering horribly right now (he did it at their home). It means so much to me that people t...

jualias · jualias

Good day all. I just attended my first Al-Anon meeting. I'm not sure if I will go back. I'm feeling pretty lost and confused. I'm hoping there are some here who can offer some kind of help. Any replies at all will be much appreciated. My main concerns right now are: -I was taken to the meeting by a clo...

Little White Bunny · Little White Bunny

I have been reading this forums posts for the past few hours and I am just overwhelmed by the caring and support I see here! Oh! This is where I want to be this is where I belong! :) Brief intro: Im 53 + sober for almost 20yrs AH and I have been together also for almost 20 yrs he has struggled with his sobriety...

DadtoCandE · DadtoCandE

My wife is succumbing to her addictions, it started after attending a memorial service for a co-worker who committed suicide after struggling with alcoholism. We are estranged and she does not involve me in her work, so I wasn't invited to go. Apparently her co-worker's struggles were swept un...

Jozie · Jozie

As Many Here Know, the Month of November has not been a Very Lucky Month for me... I Lost My Afather to the disease of Alcohol this month, and today is his Birthday... BUT... HE and his Death, Helped me Find the Rooms of Al-Anon, and because of him, (And being Dragged) I Am Healing from the Inside Out... So T...

funkyswimgrl · funkyswimgrl

My group is participating in an AA Round Up. We are currently looking for a good al-anon speaker. Does anyone know of a "list" or site that gives information on speakers? -- Edited by funkyswimgrl on Monday 21st of November 2011 07:15:12 PM

Tracy · Tracy

I am seperated from my ABf he is 2 months sober after his last slip he broke my boundaries and we seperated. I was full of resentment. Upped my meetings no contact and began to feel better. we spoke the other night and he is being honest that he can not promise me anything, that he needs to do this for hims...

atheos · atheos

Edit: I have removed this post. I was quite emotional when I made it, and posted some private things that I probably should not have put on a public, Google-searchable message-board. I thank you all for the wonderful experience, strength, and hope you have shared with me in this thread. -- Edited by at...

oldergal · oldergal

I have read a few posts in the last month referring to being "grounded". In the Al-Anon program what do you think it means to be grounded? Oldergal

stopandchat · stopandchat

Hi, I haven't been here on this board for over a year, I believe. I've been attending face to face meetings though. But, I just needed a little additional support tonight. My husband is a recovering alcoholic and has been sober for about 14 months. Prior to that, he was mainly drunk for years - to the poi...

GailMichelle · GailMichelle

The following is from the website Thought For Today. It might come in handy for those of us who will be around others on Thanksgiving Day in America. The Power to Adjust Often when we have to adjust to a person or a situation, we experience many negative thoughts. We find it difficult and tend to feel we...

looking_for_peace · looking_for_peace

Hi, Several years ago I wrote to find support because my husband was an alcoholic. Two years ago, I wrote to find support b/c my AH was withdrawing (without doctor supervision), from 10 year use of Clonazepam and Effexor. A few weeks ago I wrote to find support b/c my husband became a patient in the psych...

oldgraduate · oldgraduate

Ok guys, I dont want to unload too much, but I am finding myself becoming more isolated because of my situation. I havent posted here, or gone to meetings in awhile and I am basically just existing day to day. Things were okay for a while, then my AH started letting the alcohol creep back into family ga...

Very Very Tired · Very Very Tired

I'm trying not to have expectations this year. Thanksgiving is my favorite holiday. I will take it above and beyond all the others. I spend days making the dinner from scratch because *I* love to do it. For me, it's like painting a masterpiece as I find the perfect ingredients and assemble them into dis...

atheos · atheos

I have been going to Al-Anon for several months now, and I can see the improvements in my life. Multiple Al-Anon friends have spotted "adult child" issues in my behavior and my shares, and suggested that I go to the local ACoA group as well. I've been to the ACoA meetings a few times, and they w...

lacewing · lacewing

I am unable to Host/Chair my regularly scheduled Tuesday Night Miracles in Progress Alanon Meeting at 9PM EST in our chatroom. I am hoping that someone can step up and offer their services to do so in my absence, if you please. Thank you, ~!~ Lacewing

No words · No words

My husband has relapsed. Tonight when I realized he had been drinking I quickly removed my son and myself from the desease. We went upstairs to leave him to deal with himself. Without any fight he came upstairs collected a few things and left. On leaving he said he was leaving because he knew he was a fail...

seeking wisdom · seeking wisdom

Hi again. My fiancee has asked me where I am at. She has never taken my encouragement seriously to seek support after her two previous relationships have been with addicts. I've reached the point where it is affecting my health. I've drafted a letter in which I have lovingly pointed out the facts of tho...

Debilyn · Debilyn

I thought about this a lot. Went back in my experiences. When Tracy C was "harsh" on me, I took it as a hmmm better look at this. I appreciate her boldness to say how she felt. We have learned thru Al Anon that growth comes from painful times. We are in recovery too. We don't say when an A relapses o...

Lindaoakford · Lindaoakford

you may remember a few weeks ago I said that I had bought tickets for a show to a medium. It was the first time I had just made arrangements to go out without myhusband. Usually if he didnt want to go, I wouldn't have gone without him. I didn't even think, I just went ahead and did it. It was afterwards I re...

Jozie · Jozie

MIP... Asking for Prayers for My Mother In Law... She is to Return Home today with Hospice... Thanks all So Much for Your Continued Support... I am Forever Grateful

Love, hugs & Prayers to all...

Jozie

Michelle814 · Michelle814

This is the first time my AH sat in a hospital bed and could say "no" to did you drink today? and "no" to do you use illegal drugs. Now, I assume he's telling the truth but my trust is rather frayed. In the past four years my AH has been in the ER three times now. The first was that he al...

Debilyn · Debilyn

Nothing new here. Just venting. Isn't it amazing how the disease is not curable for us either? At least we can move on and get healthy in many ways, but for me the scar gets sore. I was online and put ex Ah's name in.Found out he was in jail again.Oct 2010-Jan.2011. I don't know why. Then saw his mugshot. I a...

kris10 · kris10

Well, so far so good..?? I think?? I'm still very sick with this flu/cold and so my bf brought the little one to school again... He even offered!! Then he was gone most of the day so of course I was worrying or trying not to.. Then he actually came home with one of his sober friends.... I was shocked.. I think...

jumpinjesuits · jumpinjesuits

Hi I don't know how to start this out, so I'm just going to go for it. What do I do with a friend and a lover that nearly every time she drinks, she does NOT remember what happened? Last time she did this, I witnessed it and her behavior changed from liking me to pushing me and trying to get with every guy in the r...

Rose50 · Rose50

I am new to this board; have been lurking for a while now and reading all the posts has helped. I am having such a difficult time detaching from my son. He has been hospitalized 3x in the last 6 months and after this last one, I thought for sure he would hit his "rock bottom". He already has some li...

FH · FH

Our daughter moved back into our home after a 1st stay at rehab. She is 25. She said that she really didn't belong in rehab. HA! She ended up drunk and we told her to leave. She is in contact but says that she has no where to live. She does have a car. We will not let her move back in. We will not pay for a p...

Debilyn · Debilyn

Just in case, since Pushka mentioned Lois, this is a good movie how AA started. Excellent acting by James Woods and James Garner.

orchidlover · orchidlover

Right now I can accept my life as it is. I have no boyfriend, haven't had one for years. I have looked but I am so busy and have so much going on to find the time to meet someone is impossible. I have moved out of the alcoholic house I lived in. I am not working as much as I did and the free time is cherished. I am a...

Hoot Nanny · Hoot Nanny

OK so Nov. is gratitude month. We are going to our annual Gratitude Banquet on Sat. I am not sure if I will be on here tomorrow so here goes: I am so grateful to have the freedom to basically whatever I please these days! My Ah is doing well & gives me many opportunites that I take on a daily basis. Like get...

Tracey C · Tracey C

Hi, I was reading the "Getting Them Sober" book by Toby Rice Drews. Up the back it had a section about the sexual side of things. One part jumped out at me on page 122 down the bottom "Karen and Sara both realized they weren't dealing with "regular" husbands who could or wou...

Tracy · Tracy

Hi All, just been to a really good meeting on negativity. I have had not such a good day today spoke to my ex abf who is in early sobriety and the grief was hard. Any how I rang a couple of members a little bit more positive, I read a little bit more positive, then I went to the eeting and it was on negativity. ...

seeking wisdom · seeking wisdom

Hi again, and thanks to all who commented on my other question. The admission to having wine when A gets up finally pushed me to do something (this following sippy cups in the park, gin alone at noon etc, a bottle of wine alone when sad). I wrote to a social worker whose response indicated depression, pot...

Kellie32980 · Kellie32980

My younger sister has had a four year stint with alcohol, until recently our family has come to our final straw and she received her first DUI at the same time (good timing). She has a 9 year old daughter as well. She has not been working in over a month and will leave her home prior to going to detox then re...

Breakingfree · Breakingfree

I am hoping this will be the fun trip I foresee with my kids and catching up with my childhood friends and their kids. I have a few things booked and bought the plane tickets so it's on. Last time I was there almost 3 years ago, I fought with my Mom so much and couldn't stand her live in boyfriend who sells...

nyc018 · nyc018

I had a very emotional weekend with AH last week. Were separated but he visits our young son practically every weekend. He is in very early recovery now, after leaving an in-house rehab in September. This follows a summer where he almost got alcohol poisoned and lost his job for absenteeism due to his d...

Pushka · Pushka

I have to say that this week has been a big week of changes and choices. I'm going to have to find out what to do with my "justified" resentments and I have a list apparently I wasn't even aware of at the time. I've decided to go to a counselor to deal with some of it. I need more feed back than wha...

Tracy · Tracy

Hi All, need to just get this out there. My ABf had a slip on the 22 sep afetr 9 month sober in AA and rehab. He broke boundary went missing in party with other girls I ended it was fll of resentment. I am past the resentment now thanks to al anon but when the resentment passes and i remember he is sick its not p...

orchidlover · orchidlover

last year I took a retail job on the weekends in desperation because my financial situation was so dire. As you may know the holidays are pretty hard work. So last year I worked with a woman who I quite liked I admired her industrious nature (she worked 2 jobs). Then she started complaining and not being...

seeking wisdom · seeking wisdom

Hi. I have a fiancee and I am planning to move to her city. Her past 2 relationships have been with addicts, she has a small child with one. I know those sound like red flags but she comes from a great and supportive family. This summer she told me she'd occasionally pour alcohol into a slurpy cup for hersel...

amills4294 · amills4294

Today I will focus on what's best for me and what's best for my daughter. That includes my responsibilities at work so that I can pay the bills and keep the nice warm roof over our head, the food on the table, the clothes we wear and the joy and sorrows we share. Today I will attend to the emotional needs of...

petitsourice · petitsourice

So... following up here... I am a husband of an alcoholic, a Southroner, a Catholic, have been married for 6.5 years, and all but 1.5 of them in a non-alcoholic home, and... I am sick of the booze. =) I am not an alcoholic, never have been... Have been a heavy drinker at times, which is not the same thing. My...

GailMichelle · GailMichelle

Balance The indication of balance in life is a sense of well-being, optimism and a clear conscience. The foundation for achieving this is to look after myself spiritually - making my mind peaceful, loving and thoughtful at all times. Then I will instinctively know how much time to spend on my own well...

lizzyg · lizzyg

Hi there. This is my first post...My younger sister has been battling with drug addiction for well over the last six years. Over the summer while my folks were out of town visiting me, my younger sister ransacked their home and stole priceless items like my mother's wedding set, her mother's ring, fam...

amills4294 · amills4294

My spouse just left and "ended" our working on our relationship. We were talking about how things were going and some of it not so good etc and he just said "we tried our 30 days - lets just cut our losses" got up and left - said some not so nice graphic things about our physical life -...

Doozy · Doozy

Hi all, In some discussion on a previous post, someone mentioned something really important and I thought wonderful. She said that although my relationship was over with my boyfriend, that it wasn't futile. I absolutely agree. I do not regret it! I'm sad that it's over and I'm sad that my self esteem s...

kris10 · kris10

I have realized that I always put myself last... I guess as a parent we learn to do these things for our children and then as a codependant it just comes that much easier to put ourself after an A as well. For me however I grew up with a Alcoholic/ addicted gambler father. (I'm a daddys girl and was too young t...

sookie · sookie

Well--I remember last year at this exact time (right after my AH's first DWI but before his 2nd DWI and stint in rehab--and BEFORE I found Al-Anon) and the holidays were pretty bitter. Here it is a year later...so much has changed and yet in some ways, it still feels glum. I think I am in a funk. I guess it is...

amills4294 · amills4294

I read a lot of the postings on here daily and I post as well. I'm a child of an alcoholic and married to someone who is not alcoholic but has alcoholic behaviors. I attend Face to Face meetings when I can. Last night I attended a meeting and there was a speaker. A girl from Alateen. She was originally bo...

Hoot Nanny · Hoot Nanny

It may sound like a cliche but what a difference today has made in my life! Even yesterday I was giving out hugs & I received what I gave. Talk about a sure thing! I am so happy to say that God my HP is working a great work in me & I am definitely still a work in progress! So much to be grateful for & I a...

tlynna · tlynna

I sympathize with the embarrassment post. It's taken me a very long time, but I am (mostly) beyond being able to get embarrassed by my AH behaviour. My question is, how to deal with the family pressure on "you need to control your husband!" They are really taken aback by the fact that I don...

Jennifer · Jennifer

Oh limited time and so much to say ... here it goes. This morning I had a tiny event happen that made me take note of how strange it truly is to not feel responsible for any one else's happiness. I like the fact that I can enhance another person's happiness or do something that makes them happy but lifelong h...

KLotus · KLotus

Was able to (again) attend my weekly homegroup meeting yesterday. It takes place over the lunch hour, and is not located near my work, but near home. Trying to work up the courage to ask my boss if I can work from home on Monday afternoons. Not sure how to pitch it - as a support group? I don't feel comfor...

amills4294 · amills4294

This has been a truly challenging year for me. I wish I had discovered this "concept" sooner. I was always the drama queen. Caught up in the emotion and drama of the situation because we were sooo not allowed to have drama or feel emotions when we were kids. As my aunt stated we were the &quo...

Topic		Started By	Replies	Views	Last Post
	a new day has come! (Preview) It is definitely a new day in my life. Things are really looking up. I am so grateful & am willing to do the 3rd Step--turn my will over to the care of God of my understanding. I have grown more spiritually in the past few years even though I practice organized religion. I guess it takes what it takes! W...	Hoot Nanny	3	512	Nov 23, 2011 by Jackie11
	Painful Time of the Year (Preview) Hello all. First, our friends 7 yr old dgtr died last week and we are out of state, as we came for her funeral. In the process, things I had planned to put in place of what has come to be a painful time of the year for me and to ease that had to be cancelled. My birthday is at THanksgiving time. This year, aft...	Grace7	7	566	Nov 23, 2011 by Grace7
	psychologist (Preview) As some of you may remember, I started seeing a psychologist a few weeks ago. My first appointment was when I was advised that yes I did meet the criteria for Borderline Personality Disorder. The second appointment we mainly got to know my actual psychologist who will take me through the sessions, an...	Lindaoakford	11	557	Nov 22, 2011 by White Rabbit
	Terrified, lost, sinking (Preview) Well, this is my first post ever here. I've wondered for quite awhile if my husband is an alcoholic, but now I pretty much know. He says he doesn't think he is, and that it's the stress and anxiety of owning his own business that is causing him to self-medicate. He has finally started seeing a psychologi...	ladysoblue	11	587	Nov 22, 2011 by ladysoblue
	Life changing decisions... (Preview) How do you know when enough is enough? I feel as if my life has been put on hold while he tries to get this together. How long do I have to just sit in the sidelines and watch...praying and hoping that things will get better?	_heather_	11	472	Nov 22, 2011 by Pushka
	Keeping Distance to Keep Sanity separation sanity love let go let god (Preview) Million dollar question: who has it worse.. the user or the used? So my AH overdosed in a country fair parking lot. He went into the bathroom to "go" but really he was buying pills. He came out and was completely out of it.. his lips were blue and he began convulsing. I was in hysterics. A man h...	Michelle814	10	10459	Nov 22, 2011 by Michelle814
	Thank you (Preview) I just wanted to say thank you to all of you who responded to my post regarding my husband's suicide. I am printing the responses so that I can read them over and over. I also plan to share them with his parents, who are suffering horribly right now (he did it at their home). It means so much to me that people t...	looking_for_peace	5	326	Nov 22, 2011 by canadianguy
	First meeting - questions (Preview) Good day all. I just attended my first Al-Anon meeting. I'm not sure if I will go back. I'm feeling pretty lost and confused. I'm hoping there are some here who can offer some kind of help. Any replies at all will be much appreciated. My main concerns right now are: -I was taken to the meeting by a clo...	jualias	8	739	Nov 22, 2011 by tommyecat
	hi I'm new here (Preview) I have been reading this forums posts for the past few hours and I am just overwhelmed by the caring and support I see here! Oh! This is where I want to be this is where I belong! :) Brief intro: Im 53 + sober for almost 20yrs AH and I have been together also for almost 20 yrs he has struggled with his sobriety...	Little White Bunny	5	634	Nov 21, 2011 by pinkchip
	acceptance vs. denial (Preview) My wife is succumbing to her addictions, it started after attending a memorial service for a co-worker who committed suicide after struggling with alcoholism. We are estranged and she does not involve me in her work, so I wasn't invited to go. Apparently her co-worker's struggles were swept un...	DadtoCandE	5	1228	Nov 21, 2011 by pinkchip
	Today I am Thankful... (Preview) As Many Here Know, the Month of November has not been a Very Lucky Month for me... I Lost My Afather to the disease of Alcohol this month, and today is his Birthday... BUT... HE and his Death, Helped me Find the Rooms of Al-Anon, and because of him, (And being Dragged) I Am Healing from the Inside Out... So T...	Jozie	4	392	Nov 21, 2011 by Pushka
	speaker lists available? (Preview) My group is participating in an AA Round Up. We are currently looking for a good al-anon speaker. Does anyone know of a "list" or site that gives information on speakers? -- Edited by funkyswimgrl on Monday 21st of November 2011 07:15:12 PM	funkyswimgrl	2	310	Nov 21, 2011 by funkyswimgrl
	no promises. (Preview) I am seperated from my ABf he is 2 months sober after his last slip he broke my boundaries and we seperated. I was full of resentment. Upped my meetings no contact and began to feel better. we spoke the other night and he is being honest that he can not promise me anything, that he needs to do this for hims...	Tracy	5	578	Nov 21, 2011 by Breakingfree
	He loves me! (Preview) Edit: I have removed this post. I was quite emotional when I made it, and posted some private things that I probably should not have put on a public, Google-searchable message-board. I thank you all for the wonderful experience, strength, and hope you have shared with me in this thread. -- Edited by at...	atheos	7	421	Nov 21, 2011 by Breakingfree
	CAN WE TALK ABOUT GROUNDED (Preview) I have read a few posts in the last month referring to being "grounded". In the Al-Anon program what do you think it means to be grounded? Oldergal	oldergal	8	411	Nov 21, 2011 by Breakingfree
	I need to find the strength to just let go (Preview) Hi, I haven't been here on this board for over a year, I believe. I've been attending face to face meetings though. But, I just needed a little additional support tonight. My husband is a recovering alcoholic and has been sober for about 14 months. Prior to that, he was mainly drunk for years - to the poi...	stopandchat	12	699	Nov 21, 2011 by Breakingfree
	Thought for Today (Preview) The following is from the website Thought For Today. It might come in handy for those of us who will be around others on Thanksgiving Day in America. The Power to Adjust Often when we have to adjust to a person or a situation, we experience many negative thoughts. We find it difficult and tend to feel we...	GailMichelle	4	520	Nov 21, 2011 by tommyecat
	suicide (Preview) Hi, Several years ago I wrote to find support because my husband was an alcoholic. Two years ago, I wrote to find support b/c my AH was withdrawing (without doctor supervision), from 10 year use of Clonazepam and Effexor. A few weeks ago I wrote to find support b/c my husband became a patient in the psych...	looking_for_peace	22	1723	Nov 21, 2011 by youfoundme
	Reaching out for help - sorry it's so long (Preview) Ok guys, I dont want to unload too much, but I am finding myself becoming more isolated because of my situation. I havent posted here, or gone to meetings in awhile and I am basically just existing day to day. Things were okay for a while, then my AH started letting the alcohol creep back into family ga...	oldgraduate	13	615	Nov 21, 2011 by oldgraduate
	Those pesky holiday expectations (Preview) I'm trying not to have expectations this year. Thanksgiving is my favorite holiday. I will take it above and beyond all the others. I spend days making the dinner from scratch because *I* love to do it. For me, it's like painting a masterpiece as I find the perfect ingredients and assemble them into dis...	Very Very Tired	7	656	Nov 21, 2011 by Breakingfree
	Do I really need to do the "adult child" stuff? (Preview) I have been going to Al-Anon for several months now, and I can see the improvements in my life. Multiple Al-Anon friends have spotted "adult child" issues in my behavior and my shares, and suggested that I go to the local ACoA group as well. I've been to the ACoA meetings a few times, and they w...	atheos	14	870	Nov 21, 2011 by usedtobeanyer
	MIP Tuesday Night Alanon Meeting... (Preview) I am unable to Host/Chair my regularly scheduled Tuesday Night Miracles in Progress Alanon Meeting at 9PM EST in our chatroom. I am hoping that someone can step up and offer their services to do so in my absence, if you please. Thank you, ~!~ Lacewing	lacewing	0	363	Nov 21, 2011 by lacewing
	He's never left before (Preview) My husband has relapsed. Tonight when I realized he had been drinking I quickly removed my son and myself from the desease. We went upstairs to leave him to deal with himself. Without any fight he came upstairs collected a few things and left. On leaving he said he was leaving because he knew he was a fail...	No words	11	592	Nov 20, 2011 by Jerry F
	Loved one has never sought help. Do I leave? (Preview) Hi again. My fiancee has asked me where I am at. She has never taken my encouragement seriously to seek support after her two previous relationships have been with addicts. I've reached the point where it is affecting my health. I've drafted a letter in which I have lovingly pointed out the facts of tho...	seeking wisdom	6	577	Nov 20, 2011 by Debilyn
	growth, painful but positive (Preview) I thought about this a lot. Went back in my experiences. When Tracy C was "harsh" on me, I took it as a hmmm better look at this. I appreciate her boldness to say how she felt. We have learned thru Al Anon that growth comes from painful times. We are in recovery too. We don't say when an A relapses o...	Debilyn	4	397	Nov 20, 2011 by Breakingfree
	my night out was last night (Preview) you may remember a few weeks ago I said that I had bought tickets for a show to a medium. It was the first time I had just made arrangements to go out without myhusband. Usually if he didnt want to go, I wouldn't have gone without him. I didn't even think, I just went ahead and did it. It was afterwards I re...	Lindaoakford	12	759	Nov 20, 2011 by Lindaoakford
	Prayers Please.... (Preview) MIP... Asking for Prayers for My Mother In Law... She is to Return Home today with Hospice... Thanks all So Much for Your Continued Support... I am Forever Grateful Love, hugs & Prayers to all... Jozie	Jozie	10	383	Nov 20, 2011 by Pushka
	It's a Miracle that My Husband is Alive Today let go and let god coincidence? (Preview) This is the first time my AH sat in a hospital bed and could say "no" to did you drink today? and "no" to do you use illegal drugs. Now, I assume he's telling the truth but my trust is rather frayed. In the past four years my AH has been in the ER three times now. The first was that he al...	Michelle814	11	1811	Nov 20, 2011 by tommyecat
	Same ole pain (Preview) Nothing new here. Just venting. Isn't it amazing how the disease is not curable for us either? At least we can move on and get healthy in many ways, but for me the scar gets sore. I was online and put ex Ah's name in.Found out he was in jail again.Oct 2010-Jan.2011. I don't know why. Then saw his mugshot. I a...	Debilyn	4	459	Nov 20, 2011 by tommyecat
	update on preparing myself.... (Preview) Well, so far so good..?? I think?? I'm still very sick with this flu/cold and so my bf brought the little one to school again... He even offered!! Then he was gone most of the day so of course I was worrying or trying not to.. Then he actually came home with one of his sober friends.... I was shocked.. I think...	kris10	13	489	Nov 20, 2011 by tommyecat
	Worried about female friend's drinking (Preview) Hi I don't know how to start this out, so I'm just going to go for it. What do I do with a friend and a lover that nearly every time she drinks, she does NOT remember what happened? Last time she did this, I witnessed it and her behavior changed from liking me to pushing me and trying to get with every guy in the r...	jumpinjesuits	8	657	Nov 20, 2011 by jumpinjesuits
	Trying so hard to detach (Preview) I am new to this board; have been lurking for a while now and reading all the posts has helped. I am having such a difficult time detaching from my son. He has been hospitalized 3x in the last 6 months and after this last one, I thought for sure he would hit his "rock bottom". He already has some li...	Rose50	8	475	Nov 20, 2011 by Pushka
	Daughter (Preview) Our daughter moved back into our home after a 1st stay at rehab. She is 25. She said that she really didn't belong in rehab. HA! She ended up drunk and we told her to leave. She is in contact but says that she has no where to live. She does have a car. We will not let her move back in. We will not pay for a p...	FH	13	706	Nov 20, 2011 by Jadie
	My Name is Bill (Preview) Just in case, since Pushka mentioned Lois, this is a good movie how AA started. Excellent acting by James Woods and James Garner.	Debilyn	5	470	Nov 20, 2011 by tommyecat
	Acceptance (Preview) Right now I can accept my life as it is. I have no boyfriend, haven't had one for years. I have looked but I am so busy and have so much going on to find the time to meet someone is impossible. I have moved out of the alcoholic house I lived in. I am not working as much as I did and the free time is cherished. I am a...	orchidlover	5	493	Nov 20, 2011 by tommyecat
	gratitude month (Preview) OK so Nov. is gratitude month. We are going to our annual Gratitude Banquet on Sat. I am not sure if I will be on here tomorrow so here goes: I am so grateful to have the freedom to basically whatever I please these days! My Ah is doing well & gives me many opportunites that I take on a daily basis. Like get...	Hoot Nanny	3	665	Nov 20, 2011 by tommyecat
	Understanding Toby's book "Getting Them Sober" (Preview) Hi, I was reading the "Getting Them Sober" book by Toby Rice Drews. Up the back it had a section about the sexual side of things. One part jumped out at me on page 122 down the bottom "Karen and Sara both realized they weren't dealing with "regular" husbands who could or wou...	Tracey C	6	823	Nov 20, 2011 by tommyecat
	negativity (Preview) Hi All, just been to a really good meeting on negativity. I have had not such a good day today spoke to my ex abf who is in early sobriety and the grief was hard. Any how I rang a couple of members a little bit more positive, I read a little bit more positive, then I went to the eeting and it was on negativity. ...	Tracy	5	822	Nov 20, 2011 by tommyecat
	Is attack mode a typical response to being confronted? (Preview) Hi again, and thanks to all who commented on my other question. The admission to having wine when A gets up finally pushed me to do something (this following sippy cups in the park, gin alone at noon etc, a bottle of wine alone when sad). I wrote to a social worker whose response indicated depression, pot...	seeking wisdom	11	1064	Nov 20, 2011 by tommyecat
	How much do you help Financially fresh out of Rehab? HELP (Preview) My younger sister has had a four year stint with alcohol, until recently our family has come to our final straw and she received her first DUI at the same time (good timing). She has a 9 year old daughter as well. She has not been working in over a month and will leave her home prior to going to detox then re...	Kellie32980	10	697	Nov 20, 2011 by tommyecat
	Trip booked to California and to my Mom's! (Preview) I am hoping this will be the fun trip I foresee with my kids and catching up with my childhood friends and their kids. I have a few things booked and bought the plane tickets so it's on. Last time I was there almost 3 years ago, I fought with my Mom so much and couldn't stand her live in boyfriend who sells...	Breakingfree	4	367	Nov 19, 2011 by tommyecat
	Separations and trouble detaching (Preview) I had a very emotional weekend with AH last week. Were separated but he visits our young son practically every weekend. He is in very early recovery now, after leaving an in-house rehab in September. This follows a summer where he almost got alcohol poisoned and lost his job for absenteeism due to his d...	nyc018	1	430	Nov 18, 2011 by Pushka
	Nothing changes, ... nothing changes (Preview) I have to say that this week has been a big week of changes and choices. I'm going to have to find out what to do with my "justified" resentments and I have a list apparently I wasn't even aware of at the time. I've decided to go to a counselor to deal with some of it. I need more feed back than wha...	Pushka	6	507	Nov 18, 2011 by orchidlover
	I miss him but not the disease (Preview) Hi All, need to just get this out there. My ABf had a slip on the 22 sep afetr 9 month sober in AA and rehab. He broke boundary went missing in party with other girls I ended it was fll of resentment. I am past the resentment now thanks to al anon but when the resentment passes and i remember he is sick its not p...	Tracy	4	686	Nov 18, 2011 by orchidlover
	the victim role (Preview) last year I took a retail job on the weekends in desperation because my financial situation was so dire. As you may know the holidays are pretty hard work. So last year I worked with a woman who I quite liked I admired her industrious nature (she worked 2 jobs). Then she started complaining and not being...	orchidlover	9	3877	Nov 18, 2011 by orchidlover
	Am I seeing alcoholic behavior or over-reacting? (Preview) Hi. I have a fiancee and I am planning to move to her city. Her past 2 relationships have been with addicts, she has a small child with one. I know those sound like red flags but she comes from a great and supportive family. This summer she told me she'd occasionally pour alcohol into a slurpy cup for hersel...	seeking wisdom	9	895	Nov 18, 2011 by pinkchip
	Just for Today... (Preview) Today I will focus on what's best for me and what's best for my daughter. That includes my responsibilities at work so that I can pay the bills and keep the nice warm roof over our head, the food on the table, the clothes we wear and the joy and sorrows we share. Today I will attend to the emotional needs of...	amills4294	7	599	Nov 18, 2011 by Jackie11
	Hello from Petit Sourice. (Preview) So... following up here... I am a husband of an alcoholic, a Southroner, a Catholic, have been married for 6.5 years, and all but 1.5 of them in a non-alcoholic home, and... I am sick of the booze. =) I am not an alcoholic, never have been... Have been a heavy drinker at times, which is not the same thing. My...	petitsourice	13	723	Nov 17, 2011 by Debilyn
	Thought for Today (Preview) Balance The indication of balance in life is a sense of well-being, optimism and a clear conscience. The foundation for achieving this is to look after myself spiritually - making my mind peaceful, loving and thoughtful at all times. Then I will instinctively know how much time to spend on my own well...	GailMichelle	3	3248	Nov 17, 2011 by Breakingfree
	Complete Confused - Staying Tough In Hard Times (Preview) Hi there. This is my first post...My younger sister has been battling with drug addiction for well over the last six years. Over the summer while my folks were out of town visiting me, my younger sister ransacked their home and stole priceless items like my mother's wedding set, her mother's ring, fam...	lizzyg	5	644	Nov 17, 2011 by Breakingfree
	in need of some ESH (Preview) My spouse just left and "ended" our working on our relationship. We were talking about how things were going and some of it not so good etc and he just said "we tried our 30 days - lets just cut our losses" got up and left - said some not so nice graphic things about our physical life -...	amills4294	20	591	Nov 17, 2011 by Breakingfree
	Gratitude, not regret (Preview) Hi all, In some discussion on a previous post, someone mentioned something really important and I thought wonderful. She said that although my relationship was over with my boyfriend, that it wasn't futile. I absolutely agree. I do not regret it! I'm sad that it's over and I'm sad that my self esteem s...	Doozy	5	425	Nov 17, 2011 by Breakingfree
	Respect...TAKE IT BACK!! (Preview) I have realized that I always put myself last... I guess as a parent we learn to do these things for our children and then as a codependant it just comes that much easier to put ourself after an A as well. For me however I grew up with a Alcoholic/ addicted gambler father. (I'm a daddys girl and was too young t...	kris10	8	646	Nov 17, 2011 by Breakingfree
	Ugh. The holidays. (Preview) Well--I remember last year at this exact time (right after my AH's first DWI but before his 2nd DWI and stint in rehab--and BEFORE I found Al-Anon) and the holidays were pretty bitter. Here it is a year later...so much has changed and yet in some ways, it still feels glum. I think I am in a funk. I guess it is...	sookie	4	1132	Nov 17, 2011 by Breakingfree
	Alateen - amazing speaker from F2F meeting last night (Preview) I read a lot of the postings on here daily and I post as well. I'm a child of an alcoholic and married to someone who is not alcoholic but has alcoholic behaviors. I attend Face to Face meetings when I can. Last night I attended a meeting and there was a speaker. A girl from Alateen. She was originally bo...	amills4294	5	529	Nov 17, 2011 by Breakingfree
	what a difference a day makes! (Preview) It may sound like a cliche but what a difference today has made in my life! Even yesterday I was giving out hugs & I received what I gave. Talk about a sure thing! I am so happy to say that God my HP is working a great work in me & I am definitely still a work in progress! So much to be grateful for & I a...	Hoot Nanny	3	501	Nov 17, 2011 by Breakingfree
	Embarrassment - a different twist (Preview) I sympathize with the embarrassment post. It's taken me a very long time, but I am (mostly) beyond being able to get embarrassed by my AH behaviour. My question is, how to deal with the family pressure on "you need to control your husband!" They are really taken aback by the fact that I don...	tlynna	8	565	Nov 17, 2011 by Breakingfree
	Not responsible for another's happiness + Sparky update (Preview) Oh limited time and so much to say ... here it goes. This morning I had a tiny event happen that made me take note of how strange it truly is to not feel responsible for any one else's happiness. I like the fact that I can enhance another person's happiness or do something that makes them happy but lifelong h...	Jennifer	6	679	Nov 17, 2011 by Breakingfree
	Update (Preview) Was able to (again) attend my weekly homegroup meeting yesterday. It takes place over the lunch hour, and is not located near my work, but near home. Trying to work up the courage to ask my boss if I can work from home on Monday afternoons. Not sure how to pitch it - as a support group? I don't feel comfor...	KLotus	9	466	Nov 17, 2011 by Breakingfree
	Separating Fact from emotion and removing expectations from the dynamics (Preview) This has been a truly challenging year for me. I wish I had discovered this "concept" sooner. I was always the drama queen. Caught up in the emotion and drama of the situation because we were sooo not allowed to have drama or feel emotions when we were kids. As my aunt stated we were the &quo...	amills4294	4	769	Nov 17, 2011 by Breakingfree
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The material presented here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method to exchange information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal level.