My program accepted and practiced meditation has been for years "God is".  I can and have been practicing that since my elder sponsor led me to it on a 24/7 basis.  Especially now after last Tuesday's event I have wrapped myself in that meditation along with the rest of life.  What has come from it is that a revisit to the ER to check for broken and/or fractured bones has come out clear.  I also was clearly guided to the process I will take starting tomorrow.  It became very clear to me that I had to turn myself in to the council of leadership of the government I am citizen of and so I did and requested a hearing and discernment.  I was told to be there at 10AM tomorrow morning and they will hear my explanation of my behaviors and justifications, right or wrong, and then pass discernment.  I need to know that I have not brought shame upon the Nation I am a member in.

I went to a morning meeting and held the event anonymous though one member had heard about it and tsked tsked me with "you need to obey the law".  After the meeting and in private I told him what he didn't know and showed him what he had not already seen.  In the program I am a grateful recovering member and no different than any other brother or sister sitting in.

After the meeting I spoke with others which I will look to for help and guideance...legal and cultural.  "I am responsible" to my recovery and my consequences and I need to do the ground work.

Out of the spirit of what has happened my HP presented a man I haven't heard from for 6 years and who was in my alternatives to violence groups.  He was once one of my cases and younger and I didn't remember right off and he approached me and asked if I did and wanted to excitedly tell me that he had not repeated violence since we had sat and learned together.  He was proud of it and smiling and eager to hug and he had a job and his family was together and he holds in his heart the lesson we worked on as a large group of violent men..."there is no justification for violence" and I was amazed that my HP would put together the affirmation of what I was thinking about when I laid on the ground with the police on my back and body.  I thought of the men I worked with in ATV and reaffirmed the lesson within myself for me and hoped that it was still working with them.  I prayed it was still working and here the young response was in front of me, unplanned (by me) and unexpected.   I say "Thank You God" in my cultural language because I believe that is the culture of my God also.  I walked away from that young man feeling affirmed and attended like I feel now...you know; "not alone" and I said out loud, "Mahalo Akua".  I was heard while on the ground, I was heard while in handcuffs and in jail and in the cell, I was heard in the emergency and I was told so after my morning meeting at the bay.   We are not alone.  This truely is a spiritual program that works when I work it.   Mahalo Ohana o`MIP... Thank you MIP Family.  (((hugs)))