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"Do you still want to be married to me?"
(Preview)
On Sunday, after my husband's horrible outburst of Saturday night, he was clearly in a shame spiral. He apologized repeatedly for his behavior (I told him I appreciated his apology, and made it clear I didn't want to keep discussing it over and over again). At one point he asked me "do you still...
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stephaniej
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8
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712
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I will be without internet for awhile and am worried
(Preview)
I come here and read daily and not always able to post, but it helps keep my mind straight and I meet with my sponsor one night a week. I have 2 weekly meetings, but lately I have worked those days without going. Now my internet provider went bankrupt it is really sad and no one else is up and running out by me y...
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Breakingfree
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5
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343
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What is wrong with this picture?
(Preview)
My 2 adult A/A children both live nearby, as a matter of fact they live together. I'm a retired 71 y.o. woman who live alone and love it. My 16 y.o. grandson just recently moved back home with his mother. My son is on ssi due to a disability, (progressively crippling) he is far from that now. He uses al...
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Highlyfavored
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3
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803
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What boundaries for a 17 year old son
(Preview)
Our 17 year old son is a HS junior and will be 18 in May. This year he changed. He smokes pot. Keep sodd hours. Does not clean his room, do his chores, never gets himself up and most upsetting he is very disrespectful to my wife and me. He seems very anxious about college process but doesn't so too much to i...
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johnmarcia
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4
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1211
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I need to express myself AGAIN
(Preview)
Sometimes, at night, I cry myself to sleep. It used to be because I was worried I couldn't go through another relapse or deal with another lie etc. Now I cry because he's doing better and I'm still sick. That we can't be a "healthy" couple because of me. I didn't even realize I was sick...
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MelB
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8
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400
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Never Regret
(Preview)
It's way past my usual bedtime. I'm all wired up from staying up to bake! So here I am on the Net. I ran across a website about what to never regret and it got me thinking about what I never regret. I never regret - - reading to my sons when they were young. I have such good memories of back then. I never reg...
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GailMichelle
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3
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570
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Doing step 5 tomorrow...
(Preview)
Already told my sponsor the "positive traits" part of my step 4... tomorrow's time for the scary part! My list of things to tell my sponsor is ready... 15 things to discuss in all... one character defect I am terrified of discussing, followed by 13 that aren't that hard to admit to, and then o...
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atheos
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4
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323
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I'm the Love of my Life
(Preview)
My HP is guiding me to proceed with my passions in life. I used to think what's the point? I used to think if no one read my poetry or saw my photographs or bought my paintings then what was the point? I feel so entirely different now. I am creating for me and for me, alone. A friend once told me "you sh...
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Michelle814
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10
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618
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Obssession & frozen fear (Ideals) Inner child
(Preview)
So I have shared I have an Intern. I have shared I stopped growing when I began obssessing on the addicts and alcoholics in my life and that for me that was around 5. Seeing how I stayed stuck in feeling 5. My siblings moved out (My parenting came from them) I was alone. For years I thought I was abandoned and...
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MeTwo2
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6
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831
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5th Step
(Preview)
Hi MIP Family I have posted the 5 th Step to the Step Work Board one day early Please join us there: http://stepwork.activeboard.com/. It is a powerful experience to read and share your ESH. The Steps are the road to recovery. I heard a quote once (cannot remember the source) it goes like this...
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hotrod
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1
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232
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Lawyer today
(Preview)
Divorce is a long process in my state...and this week, on Friday I have mandatory mediation. AH will get (by law) 1/2 my retirement...which he intends to live on since he has not worked in 2 years (he lives with his sister since I told him to leave a year ago november). He tells me he is entitled to alimony (...
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rehprof
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12
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481
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Boundaries and communication
(Preview)
How are you at setting boundaries and how well do you communicate them? I went to dinner with a friend last night and she said the first thing I need to do is forgive. Well, yea, that would probably be helpful, LOL. But, we really spent a lot of time talking about forgiveness and how hard it is for 2 broke...
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ilovedogs
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11
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828
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do you feel like I do!
(Preview)
Winter is finally here! I am frustrated by the fact that it has almost been a week since I have been on here. I am suffering from too much snow & unable to get out much. I haven't been to a decent meeting in a week either. Does anyone out there feel like I do? I was worried that I was going to end up like a bear...
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Hoot Nanny
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0
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262
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Sober Alcoholic with Depression
(Preview)
My AH has been sober nearly one year after drinking since his teenage years. He's had clinical depression for nearly as long, though he was officially diagnosed well into our marriage. He drank despite warnings from his therapist. He stopped seeing the therapist. I admit to years of enabling both th...
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Hope4Peace
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7
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582
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Living in the Here and Now
(Preview)
Since separating from my AH of 29 years, over nine months ago, I have come to realize how I now live my life in the here and now. I went to a concert last night with some friends and I had forgotten now much I enjoy listening to live music. Instead of being preoccupied with thoughts about my AH and his issues,...
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Green Eyes
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4
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4232
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Devastated and scared
(Preview)
In divorce mediation today My AH and his lawyer not only demanded 1/2 my retirement, but he wants $587 a week in spousal support, and wants me to pay for health insurance for him. My take home is $3500/month...my mortgage and insurance are 1400 -- so with me paying that level of spousal support that leav...
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rehprof
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10
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475
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SNOW!
(Preview)
And lots of it. Last night word was out, school was closed today, yippee for the kids and what a snow it was - 8-24 inches depending on where you were and how good your yardstick measured. Spent the day shoveling one place and another, laughing with people as they passed, chatting about how much snow and w...
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likemyheart
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10
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520
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Two weeks!
(Preview)
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Pushka
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4
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276
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How do I deal with an alcoholic who wants me to stop consuming alchohol?
(Preview)
My partner is a 24 year recovering alcoholic. I respect him for his accomplishments and resolve. We've been together for 14 years and have had some rough spots along the way in regards to my consumption of alcohol. It just happened again and I am sick and tired of being berated. Let me explain: When we fi...
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LoveWarrior
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30
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1009
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Wondering if I can or should do anything to help....
(Preview)
I just got in touch with a friend who I really hadn't been in contact with in about 5-8 years. I became friends with her 30 years ago and was called an aunt to her children who I knew since their births. I lost touch mainly because of her and her husband's drinking at the encouragement of my husband to just...
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db55
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5
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427
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new to it all
(Preview)
This is my first time on here. My partner just got out of detox for benzos. She has been going to meetings every night. I'm so very proud of her, and want to help more than anything. She goes to an out patient program so I'm not allowed to go. I have looked in my area for nar-anon meetings but I can't find any. I...
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apesgirl
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6
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434
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What if......,
(Preview)
A friend sent me this quote a few days ago:
"What if you woke up today with only the things you thanked God for yesterday?"
I've been doing a lot of 'thanking' ever since I read it. Kind of put things in perspective for me, so I thought I'd share.
Have a wonderful day, thankful day!
Deni...
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never going back
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4
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258
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Just popping in to say hey :)
(Preview)
Hello friends! Just wanted to tell everyone hi. I've been staying busy personally and professionally and not making adequate time for recovery efforts. I'm not struggling, but need to get back with my program while things are good as opposed to waiting for the next crisis! As my sponsor says, &q...
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White Rabbit
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5
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267
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rollercoaster remedy anyone?
(Preview)
I wrote a long rambling post about my feelings.. then read some of what others are going through.. and decided I have it pretty good, and maybe I need to pray for those who are really struggling today,,, thanks to ALL of us who share no matter how large or small,, you never know how what you say may help some...
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glad
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5
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375
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My self worth
(Preview)
It's been about a week since I've been on here. I shouldn't have stopped for even those 7 days. I have been having a tough time. I can't figure out how to love myself. I feel so 'xxxx' about myself all the time. I am working towards the future but I feel so lost still. I know that my patterns of thoughts and be...
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MelB
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7
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353
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The Guilt of being OK
(Preview)
I am finding that I am really struggling with guilt that I am doing alright. My now ex-boyfriend is 30 days clean, through a live-in rehab program. I spent 5 years with him, taking care of him financiallyand in every other way, completely burning myself out in the process. He was always loving and c...
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Autumn0729
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5
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498
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Really Scared of My First Meeting
(Preview)
I found a meeting that I could attend tonight. It has childcare, so I can bring the kids. I'm really scared about going though. I don't know why. Will everybody there already know eachother? Will I have to tell my whole story? The website says there are special meetings for newcomers. I can't get to...
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MidwesternMom
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18
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668
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Multiple Rock Bottoms
(Preview)
It's been a rough stretch for me, as my AH's emotional abuse has escalated dramatically over the last two months. But tonight I'm feeling grateful and reflective about many things, and I feel so optimistic about my ability to be healthy, emotionally AND physically. I found this website about a yea...
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stephaniej
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4
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308
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Not Sure He Should Come Home Yet
(Preview)
I told my AH to leave the house on Sunday. I was so angry because I went to church, only to find that I had no money for the collection basket. He stole all the money from my purse. He was high when I got home. I have 2 little kids and I run a home daycare. I cannot have drugs in my house. I could lose my busin...
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MidwesternMom
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9
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585
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When to say something
(Preview)
This is something that has been on my mind for weeks. I can keep my side of the street clean. Most things I can hand up to HP, I work to leave them there. My AH and I have a daughter who just turned 3. She lives with her mom during the week and we have her almost every weekend, if not for a full weekend then at leas...
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Jackie11
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18
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1274
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Update!
(Preview)
Again, thank you all for your incredible ESH (and for your research). It is serving me well, and helping me to feel stronger. I met with a divorce lawyer yesterday - to ask questions. She was VERY concerned about my safety. I was a bit embarrassed when asked "is there any domestic violence?&q...
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KLotus
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6
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397
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Intern and judgments ..
(Preview)
Good morning fellow shippers ? I'm starting an Intern this morning and am nervous. Of course my confidence isn't all that because I put it off for a year and am just now returning. It wasn't waisted time, however, I am feeling the effects of my procrastination in that I've forgotten many things through...
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MeTwo2
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3
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423
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Husband Hiding Alcohol
(Preview)
Hi, I am new to the group and never thought that I would need to reach out for something like t his. I have been with my husband for 13 years and married 10. We have two boys and have had a happy life together. About two years ago, my husband seemed to have lost a lot of weight so I urged him to get in for a physi...
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CelinaR
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16
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7205
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I do not want to enable....
(Preview)
My DH has been clean for 13 months. He has come a long way in a lot of areas. Thanks to Al-anon, I have come a long way in a lot of areas too. However, money is an issue that keeps being a big problem. He works and I stay home. With 4 children, me working and putting kids in daycare is financially out of the q...
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LostToday
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8
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1882
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Alcoholic husband in recovery
(Preview)
Hello..I am new to this forum and am hopeing I will be able to get some answers from people who have been through this... My husband and I have been married 18 yrs. He has been an alcoholic since I met him, i just didnt realize it in time. I finally left 2 years ago with our son. He started an out patient reh...
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wantinganswers
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17
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791
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H is recovering…Y can't I? Help….
(Preview)
After 9+years of marriage to a "functional" alcoholic he seems to be a new man. I won't go into the long ugly history now but his recovery started when I had an "exit affair" 6 months ago. My affair devastated me and it has been difficult to come to grips with. On the other hand he say...
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upintheair
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14
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564
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Changing the things I can
(Preview)
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Pushka
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5
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645
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I've Got This!
(Preview)
I've Got This! So my world came crashing down on me.the ground pulled from under my feetI was lost and so heart brokencrying so much, there was no copinThen out of no wherea voice hard to missthundering from the HeavensHe saidChild I've Got this!I've got it under controlI've got your heart here.you...
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John
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4
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359
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90-90
(Preview)
My sponsor and I have agreed that I will not be finishing my Al-Anon 90-90. I can see why it's extremely beneficial for AA members in their early days of sobriety -- keeping them busy with the program gives them less time to revert to old behaviors -- but for me, being super-busy brought back old behavior...
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atheos
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5
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834
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feel my past is hauting me
(Preview)
HI From my bio you will read that I have a few violent past partners. One of those partners still lives in the relatively small city that I live in. He is a local businessman in the same area of building trade that my husband works in. I have often expressed my warnings that if they were ever to run into eac...
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Lindaoakford
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5
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582
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Growth / Stagnant Growth
(Preview)
I've shared on this before that I had the awareness that the addicts stops growing from the time they started using. What I later had the awareness on was how I quit growing also the second I began obssessing and focusing on the addict/alcoholic (s) instead of me. For me, this was honestly around 5. Wit...
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MeTwo2
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7
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459
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husband
(Preview)
My husband is a physically abusive alcoholic. He had to go to the emergency room for a suicide attempt and then to a mental health facility. During this time I ran and got a restraining order. The court dropped the restraining order b/c he was in a mental health facility. Since it has been dropped, h...
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ttpurtee
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5
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566
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Support
(Preview)
I've been looking for a support group for those in relationships with prescription drug addicts. My bf is now in recovery for 8 months after a 3 month stay in rehab. Looking for infor and support with the rollercoaster emotions that go along with it. He was great for 3 months, went back to work and now...
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double rainbow
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6
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389
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ugh
(Preview)
Well, I tripped from my bad leg on the deck over the river. Fell flat hard on my front. Broke my rib again and am sore everywhere. Someone messed up my fence and stole all my gas. Mind you I am way up in the mountains.... Had horrible dreams about my brother. I need ACOBB's. Adult children who had a bad brothe...
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Debilyn
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14
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407
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Disturbing phone call!
(Preview)
So the other day I expressed a very long post saying: The start of step 1! Finally put an end to living his addiciton! Refuse to live this way! Well I started the process of feeling good and not sad, not mad either. I was a little pissed but I actually have been blanking him out of my head. Well I dont know why...
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Julie3310
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4
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571
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"Why is Daddy being so mean?"
(Preview)
My 5 year old asked me this just now, and it is breaking my heart. My AH is home, but severly stressed about losing a lot of his work (due to cutbacks), and having ugly feelings that, for today, he is not masking with drinking. He is, however, in a bad mood and snappy. With the children, he has a history of...
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danni
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7
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385
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I wish I could believe this gets better
(Preview)
I feel like I have to do things for people or they won't like me, because I am the weird, shy, awkward fat girl who likes to stay at home and read instead of party, that I'm no fun to be around, and people only put up with me because I do nice things for them and they feel guilty like they have to be nice. I do thing...
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atheos
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13
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575
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keeping secrets of the one who's sick
(Preview)
My husband just admitted to me that he had been using Heroin all day yesterday (for the first time). This admission comes after I continued to ask him about his tracked and bruised arms. He continues longtime suffering from alcoholism and prescription opiate Dependancy. He has been on a 14 month long...
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smzele
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15
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1023
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holding to my boundries
(Preview)
I am being pressured by my AS to give him money so he can take this girl on a "date" . #1 I don't believe him that it is for a date. #2. I truely have no money to give him. I told him "no" and he won't let it go. He was in his room texting me and just keeps it going . He is so desprete that he ask...
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debbiems
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5
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421
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The Storm is Passing
(Preview)
Well.. I took a day off work Friday for a spiritual day. Every sign I fell upon was my HP telling me that it is okay to live a little. As in I heard this tale of a man who asks a monk... "If I meditate for 6 hours a day how soon will I reach spiritual enlightenment?" The monk responds "ten yea...
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Michelle814
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6
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433
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Learning How to Live (by Beth Hart)
(Preview)
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John
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5
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852
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Senseless loss. Prayers please!
(Preview)
Last night my friend's ah shot and killed her while her two babies slept! This is so unreal, such a tragedy. I know she was trying to separate herself from him but was torn because of the kids, and had said he was "rarely" violent. There were so many red flags, and I tried to be there for her when s...
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sarebaer
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9
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405
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how to word it.
(Preview)
I have told my Abf several times now that if he drinks do not come home just stay with who ever you are drinking with. But every night he drinks and then drives home or calls me to come get him. Well I am done with it. I am serious I do not want him in my house if he has been drinking. Its eaither drink or live here...
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HoofnIt
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10
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461
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Don't know how to explain to my kids
(Preview)
My mother is an alcoholic. She has had serveral relapses since first getting sober when I was 15. I am now 35, I am married, have three great kids. My mom lived with us for about 7 years and in Jan 2011 moved into her own apartment, my two youngest, ages 8 and 9, spend most weekends with her. Until last n...
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NumbandAngry
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4
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281
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In Crisis
(Preview)
This weekend was my husband's weekend. Last night we went to a concert (tickets were my Xmas gift to him), and today he went to a fan convention for his favorite sports team (tickets were the kids' Xmas gift to him). We had a great time at the concert, and he had a wonderful time at the convention today. ...
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stephaniej
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15
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623
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Can I ask my alcoholic unemployed roommate to leave within 3 weeks?
(Preview)
My alcoholic roommate "Ron" is a good friend and has been living with us for 6 months. Ron and I both rent rooms from my best (and lifelong) friend "James" who owns the house, and there is no written lease for either of us. We are all 30 yr old bachelors. Previously, James and I lived...
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SnowRavenX
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5
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1012
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hugs to you all, haven't dropped off the face of the earth!
(Preview)
Hey everybody, Just wanted to say that I've been doing a lot of writing lately [ big presentation ] hence I have not felt like writing much besides that. So I've been lurking, been reading a lot of posts, nodding or shaking my head where appropriate, and have wanted to send support to every single one...
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rara avis
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4
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320
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update from the weekend
(Preview)
For those of you who may remember.... I was a little concerned and really employed the One Day At A Time thing this weekend. I thought my husband would contact friends of his who are in town due to a personal family medical emergency. They are major pot smokers. I decided that no matter what, I have thing...
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Lindaoakford
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3
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358
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No internet can respond to posts cant start any it's on my en
(Preview)
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Pushka
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5
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420
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How do I detatch and not take us both down?
(Preview)
My siginificant other and I joined forces in business almost 4 years ago. She's the licensed professional, and I'm the marketing guy. Despite her 4th stage alcoholism, we've been able to grow the business successfully, and we're set to have the best year ever. I finally became wise enough to try alan...
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sparky60
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5
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571
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