Al-Anon Family Group - Al-Anon Family Group

GailMichelle · GailMichelle

Let me begin by saying how grateful I am to have the tools of Al-Anon during this challenging ordeal. I didn't lose my sanity, nor sleep. I was able to see that I played a big part in this and was able to actually pray for the scammers. Here's the story: As some of you have read from my post on Feb. 2nd, I was...

Tired Wife · Tired Wife

I have been married 20 years. He has always drank, but never to this extent. He no longer works. I hate evenings and weekends because he sits at the bar all day and then comes home and just wants me to go to bed, even if it is 5 in the afternoon. He always says he is so tired. I am a nurse and I know it is becau...

Jackie11 · Jackie11

My sponsor gave me Paths to Recovery and I am working through the questions for step 1. One of the questions was do I try to change people and how is that working for me (this is the question in my words). When I look at the question my immediate answer is no I don't try to change other people. Last summer righ...

tandangsora · tandangsora

I'm in urgent need for advice as I am in despair and dont know where to ask Im in a serious relationship with an alcoholic for almost 8 months. He has been sober for 30 years now and is very active in AA, meaning he has to go to at least 3-4 meetings a week aside from sponsoring other alcoholics, which will t...

rehprof · rehprof

Step 3. How do I turn anything over to an HP, that at my core, I don't believe exists? So much bad has happened in my life...I just can't trust in HP. John and IFA sent me some really great ESH in private messages..but I thought I'd put this out there... How do you find your way back to HP? what are the baby step...

ilovedogs · ilovedogs

Thank you all for the support on my previous post regarding 'driving kids around'. I wanted to address the idea of deflection, a common tool that alcoholics use to make us crazy, LOL! Last night he was mixing NA beer with regular beer in a glass, LOL! Like I didn't notice as he got happier and sillier a...

yanksfan51 · yanksfan51

Hi my AH and I have been doing a tango for a while now about whether we will actually stay married or not! I am the one to keep bringing up the idea of spltting, because I am not able to find happiness living with the patterns of this disease. This forum and meetings have been invaluable, and many people her...

Michelle814 · Michelle814

Once again the coincidences have started. I was in a rut the past three days and suddenly I am being hugged by my HP. I keep seeing license plate #'s that mean something to me. Deep in prayer, I look over to my right and the license plate read "HP" At a thrift store, I turn over this kitchen plaq...

usedtobeanyer · usedtobeanyer

I've had a really good day with my program today. Had a great, insightful appointment with my therapist today, and a good meeting tonight. Yet when I got home from my meeting, my wife seemed as if she had been drinking. She went to bed shortly after I got home, and I've already done one search of the house f...

Daddys_babygirl · Daddys_babygirl

My father is 57 years old, he just celebrated his last birthday (the 23rd) in a kindred facility outside of Boston. On 12/28 he was admitted to the hospital with end stage liver disease, and the 30th he aspirated and found himself intubated in the ICU with pneumonia which soon progressed into ARDS. I l...

ilovedogs · ilovedogs

I want to confront my AH about last night. He picked up our son from an activity so that I could make it to my meeting. When I came home I smelled beer on him so I knew he had been drinking but I don't know if he did it before or after he picked up our son. I also found a receipt for a 6 pack that he purchased on the...

Hoot Nanny · Hoot Nanny

Real quick: an update. I am doing better. saw the doctor early because I could not take the pain any longer! more than one doctor actually. I am off my current cholesterol meds. for 5 days. Still have pain. hard to type. I know it might take awhile after suffering for over 3 weeks. Prayers are still needed...

Lindaoakford · Lindaoakford

This is a copy of apost I put on the ACA board. I thought some people here may be able to offer some insight also well.. I had to go see the psychologist again. I have to say, I was very nervous about the next appointment given the emotional toil of the last one. I was not looking forward to it. I had been req...

hotrod · hotrod

Hi MIP Family With tomorrow being devoted to my Super Giants and all the fun of the Game I have posted the 6th Step to the Step Work Board one day early Even if you are not formally working the Steps this is a great oportunity to learn and grow and share Look forward to your ideas http://stepwork.activebo...

wanderingSoul · wanderingSoul

I am looking for a way to help my partner. We are both in our 30s. He has a drinking problem. I am relatively successful in my career and life. I am not a child of a alcoholic, but I have many friends who are. So I know how damaging having an alcoholic in my life can be can be He is not in denial of his problem, he...

daisy31 · daisy31

I just feel very stuck right now. I have been in the program for about 6 months and it feels very slow going. I haven't started the steps yet. I am getting so stuck in the "higher power" thing. Everyone seems to have their idea of their higher power. I keep feeling like if I don't choose th...

respect · respect

My husband has no job, no money, no future. He was stabbed earlier this week by what he calls a "random act of violence". No one wants him around, including his own mother. He does not appear to know how to tell the truth- about anything. His "friends" look like people you would fin...

Otie · Otie

Hi. I am wondering if there is anyone who can talk about life after going completely no cantact with their chilldren? I would like to hear what anyone feels free to tell. Thankfully, Otie

Green Eyes · Green Eyes

My AH is not going to stop drinking for me, or for anyone else. He continues to drink, and that is his choice. I have a problem with his drinking and I will continue to have a problem with his drinking. I cannot be with him in his current state of mind, and that is my choice. We may not be able to come to a comprom...

HarleyQ · HarleyQ

I'm looking into finding a distance sponsor. Life situation at present allows me one meeting in my area once a week that I like very much. However, it is small and while the group is endearing, step work isn't much mentioned. I have seen distance sponsoring work with someone close to me via phone and ema...

GailMichelle · GailMichelle

I did a foolish thing tonight! But I'm swallowing my pride because I don't want this to happen to any of you! I got scammed and now my data on my computer is open to this horrible people with an Indian accent. I've reported it to the police, credit cards companies have cancelled our cards and I'm hitting t...

stefani74 · stefani74

I made my second meeting this week. It was a small meeting, but it was great. The women there made me feel so welcome and they have been doing this for a LONG time. I feel they are really going to be helpful in getting me started with my program. One of the women gave me a copy of Courage to Change and a copy...

Mlkiss75 · Mlkiss75

...I'm going to try again to let go and let god! I haven't been here for a while because I've been, well, lazy. My husband has been intoxicated since before Christmas. Last week our couples therapist convinced him to check into the hospital for a week to detox, which he did. I ended up with bronchiti...

Sally · Sally

Oh, boy. Am I really doing this? Where do I start? I have been reading the MIP forum for awhile now and while it is comforting to know that many have been where I am and working through it all how did I get here? I realize that I have a problem. I have been in one destructive relationship after another fo...

Pushka · Pushka

Really this next week is a very anxious week, there are some big big things coming down the pipe. I'm reminding myself that I only have to be in today which is Friday. I plan on making sure to stay in this day. I dont' want to miss out on today, because I'm worried about something that is 3 days away .. lol....

Pushka · Pushka

AAANNNDDDD .. let the healing begin because I got nothing at the moment. I'm not talking about what defines me either, I love being a mom, .. it's a part of who I am however outside of that, ... I"m talking about what do I like to do. Needless to say .. I will be putting some time and effort into this o...

amills4294 · amills4294

This is my favorite expression when I get so angry or upset that I have a hard time coming out of it... it just keeps building and building. Sometimes venting helps. Sometimes chanting the serenity prayer. Any other ESH on this would be appreciated. I'm wound pretty tight right now.

rehprof · rehprof

So..as I navigate through this divorce process, trying to make ends meet as a single mom, keep a home, pay all the bills, provide support for my boys, and work 60+ hours a week...I am finding that I am still just tapped in terms of motivation and energy. makes me wonder, in general, how may of us experien...

Sreis44 · Sreis44

My husband agreed to enter into outpatient rehab and has finally admitted that he will never be able to drink alcohol responsibly. I am not returning home with our son until he is enrolled and has been to his first session. He wanted me to come home after promising to participate in treatment, but actio...

Brandi · Brandi

I am a 40 year old daughter of an alcoholic. I have been urged for many years to join al Al Anon group and have never had the courage. I found this message board online and really hope that it will help. My father is an alcoholic. He has been the majority of my life. I always thought he was the "fun&...

Michelle814 · Michelle814

I am feeling like I have control over my AH again at times. I have been acting as if he MUST stay sober. I think its because I am, once again, thinking of wanting children and I know if he relapses my life will be a living hell. Maybe Ill never be a mother. I wont leave him just so I can have children. What, w...

Jozie · Jozie

Last Night I went to My Meeting after a VERY LONG day, and when I got there, it was an Open Meeting were we choose a topic, and we chose one of our books to read from, and some where along the way ended up on the topic of Growth... I Can Not Speak for Anyone but me when it comes to Growth... I can say I have Seen Grow...

glad lee · glad lee

Last Sunday I was triggered big time by my fear of abandonment, causing my character defects to go into full bloom. I was about to react in a way that would have harmed ME, I was about to end a very special relationship. My dis-ease had justified, rationalized and defended all the resentments going...

ilovedogs · ilovedogs

I want to ask my AH if we can get a supplemental insurance policy on him. My take on it is that if he continues to drink and take anti depressants, which can cause liver damage, then I think I have a right to ask for extra protection. Does this make sense? Could it possibly trigger his anger? I just feel so ins...

dorito · dorito

The reading talked about 3 obstacles to success, one being gossip. We found the other was dominance, does anybody know the other? The was in Hope for Today's reading.

Jackie11 · Jackie11

This past Sunday I said good bye to one of my oldest friends so I've been feeling sad, I know that this too shall pass. I learned today that there is a search field and you can type in words and it pulls up the search. I always noticed the little bars but I've not done a word search before, I know I've been on her...

kris10 · kris10

The letter in the mail that I've been waiting for and dreading at the same time finally came yesterday... He is to go to court in march for violation of probation... Requesting 30 days jail time... Reinstated on probatin with all of the same terms... AA twice a week, weekly contact with sponsor, contac...

Lindaoakford · Lindaoakford

Hi As some of you may remember, I have been 'helping' a friend who decided to terminate her pregnancy. Well yesterday I took her to the hospital and stayed with her all day. Her fiance (whom is a drinker and smoker of pot.. alot) was working and they decided it was too emotional for him to go as he really w...

MeTwo2 · MeTwo2

I grew up hearing Self Esteem is the way we Feel about ourselves and yet Alanon has taught me feelings aren't facts .. So I began looking at this and the fact that Since my axb seems to be Feeling so much better he Must be better .. Then It began to turn in my mind and this is what I got .. If self esteem were simpl...

orchidlover · orchidlover

I must admit I really judged alcoholics in the past. Some of it was because their actions really affected me. Yesterday I was on a bus (on the way to the job that pays nothing) and a woman was on there. She could not have been more than 35, young fresh faced and flirting with a man. She told a story of continu...

TLD · TLD

Such a strong feeling of resentment I have right now. My AH is making no effort and picks fights for an excuse. I do not engage, but by doing that, I'm told I'm ignoring him. He is not going to meetings, he's hiding his drinking and the drinking has increased. When it comes down to it, I resent him enorm...

DreamsOver · DreamsOver

I took my addicted son's dog when he was no longer caring for her (she is a lab/mut mix) she wasn't properly fed or given water because of his irresponsibility and she was left without proper care while he was gone with his drug buddies. The dog was happy with me, we loved her and took good care of her, but la...

CassieKellz · CassieKellz

It's so hard to accept that I'm powerless in this addiction. I'm so close to the point of giving up but I know I can't. He doesn't see the toll it's taking on me emotionally. I know he will end up losing everything he has worked so hard for and it scares me. One thing I definitely know, I can't control what...

Tracey C · Tracey C

Hi, I'm not sure if I'm supposed to post this here. For some reason the adult children room won't allow me to write in. For a few years now I have been following the adult children of alcoholics program as well as al-anon. It was through acoa that I came into al-anon. My question has to do with the steps t...

CassieKellz · CassieKellz

My A finally decided for himself that he needed to get sober. I am so happy that he's taking such a huge step, but I hate seeing how depressed he gets going through his detox. And I feel so guilty because all I can think about is how many times he's gotten sober just to drink again so in my head I'm telling my...

respect · respect

So the ER in the city my husband buys drugs from calls me to say my he has been stabbed, is stable, and police are there. I guess I will finish up here at work and go see how this story is going to play out. I am already guessing that he is going to hold strong to his story that he isn't using. I feel so many things...

orchidlover · orchidlover

I feel almost as worn down as I did when working with the ex A. Work is really hard to come by at the moment and I've been working retail. Trouble is I'm not getting enough hours and no matter what I say and do they give all the hours to a new girl who literally just walked in off the street. I've gone the offic...

ilovedogs · ilovedogs

My AH is under the care of both a psychiatrist and a psychologist. I had a friend suggest that I ask him(AH) to attend an appointment with his psychologist and with me. She thinks I need to tell the psychologist what's going on. The late night drinking binges, the hiding of the alcohol, passing out on...

Pushka · Pushka

Not as in good night, Irene however I had a good night of sleep woo hoo!!! I got past 330am. I think I slept past 445am .. I did give myself time to wake up too. No spinning in my thinking. I did take some melatonin and that did help. The kids and I enjoyed an evening out with my MIL last night and tonight is m...

gardendelight · gardendelight

I've looked online but I find examples of differences so I'm not sure if I understand how the meetings are formatted exactly. Our group has two married couples who attend nearly every meeting and I've been uncomfortable recently at how off-the-format things have gotten. During last night's meet...

sookie · sookie

I am baffled as I write this. My (separated) AH pretty much said he doesn't feel "support" from me while he is in recovery. We are not filing for divorce but he has his own apartment because, well I couldn't handle the lies/chaos any longer and it was pretty bad before that to build to the spli...

Julie3310 · Julie3310

Hello beautiful people, It has been almost a month since I spoke to my ex. The last post was about his trial. As far as the trial goes, I stopped talking to him and the only way I find out is through inmate search and clerk of courts. His baby mama called me again saying he called her and said he was coming out s...

Michelle814 · Michelle814

Was having a great day and then things just stopped going my way and then I go to the company bathroom and I say the serenity prayer. It helps to pray "let go and let God" too and my music.. that is helping.. jack johnson today.. as for you guys.. you guys help me so much. just getting on and readin...

Pushka · Pushka

Well, it appears that 330am is going to be my witching hour so I'm going to work hard on doing something productive with that time. I'm up and God is listening. Coffee is not ready yet so I don't know if I'm listening yet however .. it's all good. Hugs P :)

likemyheart · likemyheart

Ok, so this isn't alcohol related, though I may need some by the time i get done..... (snicker). But, I find myself thinking, ok, i have to accept this because it is the way it is.... (accept the things you cannot change). Egads has it been a frustrating day - learning and doing and trying and growling and...

1 day at a time · 1 day at a time

many of us thought that when our ah gets sober everything will just be perfect all the struggles will dissapear and we will live perfect little lives.and things are better but the struggles will not stop,but remember that anything worth having is worth fighting for.and ive read that anything we are f...

Hoot Nanny · Hoot Nanny

Whatever it is, it is killing me! I am not going to diagnose my condition today. But, as I sit here I can hardly type. My shoulders hurt, sometimes my back & hips hurt. I am going to a doctor on Friday but can I wait that long? I am concerned that I might have a serious condition. I am actually OK w/ being il...

Aloha · Aloha

Wednesday marked my fourth Al-Anon birthday. I was sure to attend a meeting in honor of that and was blessed with some great insights this week in how some of my perceptions have changed over the years, which indicates more growth in my spirituality and maturity. A member at the meeting was sharing abo...

respect · respect

One of the best things I love about Al-anon is people, practically strangers, hand you their phone number and tell you to call if you ever need to talk....and they mean it. How many people that you meet outside of meetings can you say that about? Yesterday I came home to find my diamond necklace missing....

pineapple · pineapple

My A fell while drinking last week and hurt himself pretty badly-stitches, IV fluids for blood loss, LOTS of pain, etc. The doctor told him he had to quit drinking. He was so miserable he said he didn't even want a drink. I was hopeful that this might be the start of something good to come out of the bad, yet...

Topic		Started By	Replies	Views	Last Post
	Update on Being Scammed (Preview) Let me begin by saying how grateful I am to have the tools of Al-Anon during this challenging ordeal. I didn't lose my sanity, nor sleep. I was able to see that I played a big part in this and was able to actually pray for the scammers. Here's the story: As some of you have read from my post on Feb. 2nd, I was...	GailMichelle	5	652	Feb 6, 2012 by Jackie11
	I can't take it anymore (Preview) I have been married 20 years. He has always drank, but never to this extent. He no longer works. I hate evenings and weekends because he sits at the bar all day and then comes home and just wants me to go to bed, even if it is 5 in the afternoon. He always says he is so tired. I am a nurse and I know it is becau...	Tired Wife	8	579	Feb 6, 2012 by Michelle814
	Working on... (Preview) My sponsor gave me Paths to Recovery and I am working through the questions for step 1. One of the questions was do I try to change people and how is that working for me (this is the question in my words). When I look at the question my immediate answer is no I don't try to change other people. Last summer righ...	Jackie11	2	393	Feb 6, 2012 by Michelle814
	URGENT advice needed - I am in despair. (Preview) I'm in urgent need for advice as I am in despair and dont know where to ask Im in a serious relationship with an alcoholic for almost 8 months. He has been sober for 30 years now and is very active in AA, meaning he has to go to at least 3-4 meetings a week aside from sponsoring other alcoholics, which will t...	tandangsora	21	850	Feb 6, 2012 by tandangsora
	Can't do it right now! (Preview) Step 3. How do I turn anything over to an HP, that at my core, I don't believe exists? So much bad has happened in my life...I just can't trust in HP. John and IFA sent me some really great ESH in private messages..but I thought I'd put this out there... How do you find your way back to HP? what are the baby step...	rehprof	7	534	Feb 6, 2012 by pinkchip
	Follow up(deflection) (Preview) Thank you all for the support on my previous post regarding 'driving kids around'. I wanted to address the idea of deflection, a common tool that alcoholics use to make us crazy, LOL! Last night he was mixing NA beer with regular beer in a glass, LOL! Like I didn't notice as he got happier and sillier a...	ilovedogs	7	534	Feb 6, 2012 by Tracey C
	I needed to set a time frame and boundaries (Preview) Hi my AH and I have been doing a tango for a while now about whether we will actually stay married or not! I am the one to keep bringing up the idea of spltting, because I am not able to find happiness living with the patterns of this disease. This forum and meetings have been invaluable, and many people her...	yanksfan51	6	649	Feb 5, 2012 by yanksfan51
	More "coincidences" from my HP (Preview) Once again the coincidences have started. I was in a rut the past three days and suddenly I am being hugged by my HP. I keep seeing license plate #'s that mean something to me. Deep in prayer, I look over to my right and the license plate read "HP" At a thrift store, I turn over this kitchen plaq...	Michelle814	8	545	Feb 5, 2012 by John
	Feeling good and healthy--but still want to know (Preview) I've had a really good day with my program today. Had a great, insightful appointment with my therapist today, and a good meeting tonight. Yet when I got home from my meeting, my wife seemed as if she had been drinking. She went to bed shortly after I got home, and I've already done one search of the house f...	usedtobeanyer	16	482	Feb 5, 2012 by Pushka
	My Dad is dying & my family wont let him (Preview) My father is 57 years old, he just celebrated his last birthday (the 23rd) in a kindred facility outside of Boston. On 12/28 he was admitted to the hospital with end stage liver disease, and the 30th he aspirated and found himself intubated in the ICU with pneumonia which soon progressed into ARDS. I l...	Daddys_babygirl	8	547	Feb 5, 2012 by kitilvr
	Driving the kids around (Preview) I want to confront my AH about last night. He picked up our son from an activity so that I could make it to my meeting. When I came home I smelled beer on him so I knew he had been drinking but I don't know if he did it before or after he picked up our son. I also found a receipt for a 6 pack that he purchased on the...	ilovedogs	13	393	Feb 4, 2012 by Pushka
	one step in the right direction... (Preview) Real quick: an update. I am doing better. saw the doctor early because I could not take the pain any longer! more than one doctor actually. I am off my current cholesterol meds. for 5 days. Still have pain. hard to type. I know it might take awhile after suffering for over 3 weeks. Prayers are still needed...	Hoot Nanny	2	349	Feb 4, 2012 by danni
	copy my post on ACA board (Preview) This is a copy of apost I put on the ACA board. I thought some people here may be able to offer some insight also well.. I had to go see the psychologist again. I have to say, I was very nervous about the next appointment given the emotional toil of the last one. I was not looking forward to it. I had been req...	Lindaoakford	2	410	Feb 4, 2012 by pinkchip
	6 th Step (Preview) Hi MIP Family With tomorrow being devoted to my Super Giants and all the fun of the Game I have posted the 6th Step to the Step Work Board one day early Even if you are not formally working the Steps this is a great oportunity to learn and grow and share Look forward to your ideas http://stepwork.activebo...	hotrod	0	369	Feb 4, 2012 by hotrod
	Looking for where to go. (Preview) I am looking for a way to help my partner. We are both in our 30s. He has a drinking problem. I am relatively successful in my career and life. I am not a child of a alcoholic, but I have many friends who are. So I know how damaging having an alcoholic in my life can be can be He is not in denial of his problem, he...	wanderingSoul	8	500	Feb 4, 2012 by Pushka
	a question about a higher power? (Preview) I just feel very stuck right now. I have been in the program for about 6 months and it feels very slow going. I haven't started the steps yet. I am getting so stuck in the "higher power" thing. Everyone seems to have their idea of their higher power. I keep feeling like if I don't choose th...	daisy31	8	449	Feb 4, 2012 by Breakingfree
	A sad life (Preview) My husband has no job, no money, no future. He was stabbed earlier this week by what he calls a "random act of violence". No one wants him around, including his own mother. He does not appear to know how to tell the truth- about anything. His "friends" look like people you would fin...	respect	4	587	Feb 4, 2012 by Breakingfree
	Afterwards (Preview) Hi. I am wondering if there is anyone who can talk about life after going completely no cantact with their chilldren? I would like to hear what anyone feels free to tell. Thankfully, Otie	Otie	5	674	Feb 4, 2012 by oldergal
	Thinking Out Loud (Preview) My AH is not going to stop drinking for me, or for anyone else. He continues to drink, and that is his choice. I have a problem with his drinking and I will continue to have a problem with his drinking. I cannot be with him in his current state of mind, and that is my choice. We may not be able to come to a comprom...	Green Eyes	7	534	Feb 4, 2012 by yanksfan51
	Tired of the useless obsessive thoughts want to start work ASAP (Preview) I'm looking into finding a distance sponsor. Life situation at present allows me one meeting in my area once a week that I like very much. However, it is small and while the group is endearing, step work isn't much mentioned. I have seen distance sponsoring work with someone close to me via phone and ema...	HarleyQ	6	497	Feb 4, 2012 by hotrod
	EVERYONE, PLEASE READ (Preview) I did a foolish thing tonight! But I'm swallowing my pride because I don't want this to happen to any of you! I got scammed and now my data on my computer is open to this horrible people with an Indian accent. I've reported it to the police, credit cards companies have cancelled our cards and I'm hitting t...	GailMichelle	5	636	Feb 4, 2012 by Debilyn
	Second meeting (Preview) I made my second meeting this week. It was a small meeting, but it was great. The women there made me feel so welcome and they have been doing this for a LONG time. I feel they are really going to be helpful in getting me started with my program. One of the women gave me a copy of Courage to Change and a copy...	stefani74	6	365	Feb 4, 2012 by Breakingfree
	Just for today... (Preview) ...I'm going to try again to let go and let god! I haven't been here for a while because I've been, well, lazy. My husband has been intoxicated since before Christmas. Last week our couples therapist convinced him to check into the hospital for a week to detox, which he did. I ended up with bronchiti...	Mlkiss75	8	370	Feb 4, 2012 by Breakingfree
	First Post (Preview) Oh, boy. Am I really doing this? Where do I start? I have been reading the MIP forum for awhile now and while it is comforting to know that many have been where I am and working through it all how did I get here? I realize that I have a problem. I have been in one destructive relationship after another fo...	Sally	5	586	Feb 4, 2012 by Breakingfree
	Lots of things (Preview) Really this next week is a very anxious week, there are some big big things coming down the pipe. I'm reminding myself that I only have to be in today which is Friday. I plan on making sure to stay in this day. I dont' want to miss out on today, because I'm worried about something that is 3 days away .. lol....	Pushka	7	569	Feb 4, 2012 by Lindaoakford
	5 things I like to do .. (Preview) AAANNNDDDD .. let the healing begin because I got nothing at the moment. I'm not talking about what defines me either, I love being a mom, .. it's a part of who I am however outside of that, ... I"m talking about what do I like to do. Needless to say .. I will be putting some time and effort into this o...	Pushka	9	882	Feb 3, 2012 by likemyheart
	How to keep from getting "wrapped around the axle" (Preview) This is my favorite expression when I get so angry or upset that I have a hard time coming out of it... it just keeps building and building. Sometimes venting helps. Sometimes chanting the serenity prayer. Any other ESH on this would be appreciated. I'm wound pretty tight right now.	amills4294	7	484	Feb 3, 2012 by rara avis
	Stuck and Need Ideas (Preview) So..as I navigate through this divorce process, trying to make ends meet as a single mom, keep a home, pay all the bills, provide support for my boys, and work 60+ hours a week...I am finding that I am still just tapped in terms of motivation and energy. makes me wonder, in general, how may of us experien...	rehprof	8	865	Feb 3, 2012 by Breakingfree
	Steping forward...fingers crossed. (Preview) My husband agreed to enter into outpatient rehab and has finally admitted that he will never be able to drink alcohol responsibly. I am not returning home with our son until he is enrolled and has been to his first session. He wanted me to come home after promising to participate in treatment, but actio...	Sreis44	3	469	Feb 3, 2012 by Breakingfree
	Walking Away (Preview) I am a 40 year old daughter of an alcoholic. I have been urged for many years to join al Al Anon group and have never had the courage. I found this message board online and really hope that it will help. My father is an alcoholic. He has been the majority of my life. I always thought he was the "fun&...	Brandi	4	430	Feb 3, 2012 by Breakingfree
	Bad Week (Preview) I am feeling like I have control over my AH again at times. I have been acting as if he MUST stay sober. I think its because I am, once again, thinking of wanting children and I know if he relapses my life will be a living hell. Maybe Ill never be a mother. I wont leave him just so I can have children. What, w...	Michelle814	13	681	Feb 3, 2012 by Breakingfree
	Growth...Whats Yours? :) (Preview) Last Night I went to My Meeting after a VERY LONG day, and when I got there, it was an Open Meeting were we choose a topic, and we chose one of our books to read from, and some where along the way ended up on the topic of Growth... I Can Not Speak for Anyone but me when it comes to Growth... I can say I have Seen Grow...	Jozie	6	424	Feb 3, 2012 by Breakingfree
	triggers (Preview) Last Sunday I was triggered big time by my fear of abandonment, causing my character defects to go into full bloom. I was about to react in a way that would have harmed ME, I was about to end a very special relationship. My dis-ease had justified, rationalized and defended all the resentments going...	glad lee	5	362	Feb 3, 2012 by Breakingfree
	Insurance policy (Preview) I want to ask my AH if we can get a supplemental insurance policy on him. My take on it is that if he continues to drink and take anti depressants, which can cause liver damage, then I think I have a right to ask for extra protection. Does this make sense? Could it possibly trigger his anger? I just feel so ins...	ilovedogs	7	444	Feb 3, 2012 by Pushka
	Today reading 2/2/12 (Preview) The reading talked about 3 obstacles to success, one being gossip. We found the other was dominance, does anybody know the other? The was in Hope for Today's reading.	dorito	1	489	Feb 3, 2012 by glad lee
	Learn something new (Preview) This past Sunday I said good bye to one of my oldest friends so I've been feeling sad, I know that this too shall pass. I learned today that there is a search field and you can type in words and it pulls up the search. I always noticed the little bars but I've not done a word search before, I know I've been on her...	Jackie11	2	487	Feb 2, 2012 by HarleyQ
	It finally came.... (Preview) The letter in the mail that I've been waiting for and dreading at the same time finally came yesterday... He is to go to court in march for violation of probation... Requesting 30 days jail time... Reinstated on probatin with all of the same terms... AA twice a week, weekly contact with sponsor, contac...	kris10	2	440	Feb 3, 2012 by Lindaoakford
	My yesterday (may be a touchy subject) (Preview) Hi As some of you may remember, I have been 'helping' a friend who decided to terminate her pregnancy. Well yesterday I took her to the hospital and stayed with her all day. Her fiance (whom is a drinker and smoker of pot.. alot) was working and they decided it was too emotional for him to go as he really w...	Lindaoakford	8	417	Feb 3, 2012 by amills4294
	self esteem/feelings ? (Preview) I grew up hearing Self Esteem is the way we Feel about ourselves and yet Alanon has taught me feelings aren't facts .. So I began looking at this and the fact that Since my axb seems to be Feeling so much better he Must be better .. Then It began to turn in my mind and this is what I got .. If self esteem were simpl...	MeTwo2	4	344	Feb 2, 2012 by glad lee
	Dispassionate listening (Preview) I must admit I really judged alcoholics in the past. Some of it was because their actions really affected me. Yesterday I was on a bus (on the way to the job that pays nothing) and a woman was on there. She could not have been more than 35, young fresh faced and flirting with a man. She told a story of continu...	orchidlover	5	520	Feb 2, 2012 by orchidlover
	Resentment (Preview) Such a strong feeling of resentment I have right now. My AH is making no effort and picks fights for an excuse. I do not engage, but by doing that, I'm told I'm ignoring him. He is not going to meetings, he's hiding his drinking and the drinking has increased. When it comes down to it, I resent him enorm...	TLD	10	905	Feb 2, 2012 by danni
	Dog Delemia..... (Preview) I took my addicted son's dog when he was no longer caring for her (she is a lab/mut mix) she wasn't properly fed or given water because of his irresponsibility and she was left without proper care while he was gone with his drug buddies. The dog was happy with me, we loved her and took good care of her, but la...	DreamsOver	6	485	Feb 2, 2012 by DreamsOver
	Emotionally draining (Preview) It's so hard to accept that I'm powerless in this addiction. I'm so close to the point of giving up but I know I can't. He doesn't see the toll it's taking on me emotionally. I know he will end up losing everything he has worked so hard for and it scares me. One thing I definitely know, I can't control what...	CassieKellz	9	485	Feb 2, 2012 by I_was_wrong
	adult children (Preview) Hi, I'm not sure if I'm supposed to post this here. For some reason the adult children room won't allow me to write in. For a few years now I have been following the adult children of alcoholics program as well as al-anon. It was through acoa that I came into al-anon. My question has to do with the steps t...	Tracey C	23	1094	Feb 2, 2012 by Tracey C
	hard to be happy (Preview) My A finally decided for himself that he needed to get sober. I am so happy that he's taking such a huge step, but I hate seeing how depressed he gets going through his detox. And I feel so guilty because all I can think about is how many times he's gotten sober just to drink again so in my head I'm telling my...	CassieKellz	6	510	Feb 2, 2012 by Lindaoakford
	Husband Stabbed (Preview) So the ER in the city my husband buys drugs from calls me to say my he has been stabbed, is stable, and police are there. I guess I will finish up here at work and go see how this story is going to play out. I am already guessing that he is going to hold strong to his story that he isn't using. I feel so many things...	respect	12	668	Feb 2, 2012 by orchidlover
	Worn down (Preview) I feel almost as worn down as I did when working with the ex A. Work is really hard to come by at the moment and I've been working retail. Trouble is I'm not getting enough hours and no matter what I say and do they give all the hours to a new girl who literally just walked in off the street. I've gone the offic...	orchidlover	4	573	Feb 2, 2012 by orchidlover
	Is this a good idea? (Preview) My AH is under the care of both a psychiatrist and a psychologist. I had a friend suggest that I ask him(AH) to attend an appointment with his psychologist and with me. She thinks I need to tell the psychologist what's going on. The late night drinking binges, the hiding of the alcohol, passing out on...	ilovedogs	8	584	Feb 1, 2012 by Jozie
	Good night :) (Preview) Not as in good night, Irene however I had a good night of sleep woo hoo!!! I got past 330am. I think I slept past 445am .. I did give myself time to wake up too. No spinning in my thinking. I did take some melatonin and that did help. The kids and I enjoyed an evening out with my MIL last night and tonight is m...	Pushka	5	454	Feb 1, 2012 by Jozie
	Is there a set format for meetings? (Preview) I've looked online but I find examples of differences so I'm not sure if I understand how the meetings are formatted exactly. Our group has two married couples who attend nearly every meeting and I've been uncomfortable recently at how off-the-format things have gotten. During last night's meet...	gardendelight	3	1435	Feb 1, 2012 by danni
	Let's talk about sex (Preview) I am baffled as I write this. My (separated) AH pretty much said he doesn't feel "support" from me while he is in recovery. We are not filing for divorce but he has his own apartment because, well I couldn't handle the lies/chaos any longer and it was pretty bad before that to build to the spli...	sookie	15	705	Feb 1, 2012 by sookie
	After effects for the enabler! (Preview) Hello beautiful people, It has been almost a month since I spoke to my ex. The last post was about his trial. As far as the trial goes, I stopped talking to him and the only way I find out is through inmate search and clerk of courts. His baby mama called me again saying he called her and said he was coming out s...	Julie3310	9	727	Feb 1, 2012 by Michelle814
	New kitty, stress at work, 50 degrees and sunny (Preview) Was having a great day and then things just stopped going my way and then I go to the company bathroom and I say the serenity prayer. It helps to pray "let go and let God" too and my music.. that is helping.. jack johnson today.. as for you guys.. you guys help me so much. just getting on and readin...	Michelle814	7	450	Feb 1, 2012 by Michelle814
	Sleepless in the Midwest .. (Preview) Well, it appears that 330am is going to be my witching hour so I'm going to work hard on doing something productive with that time. I'm up and God is listening. Coffee is not ready yet so I don't know if I'm listening yet however .. it's all good. Hugs P :)	Pushka	12	453	Jan 31, 2012 by Michelle814
	Battling Quickbooks (Preview) Ok, so this isn't alcohol related, though I may need some by the time i get done..... (snicker). But, I find myself thinking, ok, i have to accept this because it is the way it is.... (accept the things you cannot change). Egads has it been a frustrating day - learning and doing and trying and growling and...	likemyheart	4	412	Jan 31, 2012 by Michelle814
	where are the blue skies and rainbows? (Preview) many of us thought that when our ah gets sober everything will just be perfect all the struggles will dissapear and we will live perfect little lives.and things are better but the struggles will not stop,but remember that anything worth having is worth fighting for.and ive read that anything we are f...	1 day at a time	4	416	Jan 31, 2012 by stefani74
	it is killing me...what could it be? (Preview) Whatever it is, it is killing me! I am not going to diagnose my condition today. But, as I sit here I can hardly type. My shoulders hurt, sometimes my back & hips hurt. I am going to a doctor on Friday but can I wait that long? I am concerned that I might have a serious condition. I am actually OK w/ being il...	Hoot Nanny	5	503	Jan 31, 2012 by Pushka
	Growth and changed perceptions (Preview) Wednesday marked my fourth Al-Anon birthday. I was sure to attend a meeting in honor of that and was blessed with some great insights this week in how some of my perceptions have changed over the years, which indicates more growth in my spirituality and maturity. A member at the meeting was sharing abo...	Aloha	4	543	Jan 31, 2012 by Pushka
	Phoned a friend (Preview) One of the best things I love about Al-anon is people, practically strangers, hand you their phone number and tell you to call if you ever need to talk....and they mean it. How many people that you meet outside of meetings can you say that about? Yesterday I came home to find my diamond necklace missing....	respect	7	506	Jan 31, 2012 by abbyal
	same old, same old... yet not (Preview) My A fell while drinking last week and hurt himself pretty badly-stitches, IV fluids for blood loss, LOTS of pain, etc. The doctor told him he had to quit drinking. He was so miserable he said he didn't even want a drink. I was hopeful that this might be the start of something good to come out of the bad, yet...	pineapple	7	445	Jan 31, 2012 by Jozie
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The material presented here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method to exchange information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal level.