and I'm really hurting right now there are so many things.  I've been under the hallucination that things were on the mend between my spouse and I.  I found out that no they are not.  I don't know what will happen with him at this point.  He's no longer living here as of today and I know there is someone else.  That's the part that hurts me the most is that I had just asked him about there being someone else and he denied it over and over again.  In my heart I already knew, I feel a lot of things and just need prayers.  I know I'm going to be ok, I know my kids are going to be ok.  I really hurt.  I think I'm in shock at the moment, nothing feels real. I wish he had been honest 6 months ago about what was going on, God is truly good and I have found out exactly when I needed to find out.  I asked for a sign and I got a neon billboard .. oh boy .. It's made a few other decisions a lot easier .. and that is a good thing. 

I'm one tough smart cookie, I'm just feeling a little gooey inside. 

Thanks for letting me share, hugs P

It may make decisions easier...but it still hurts.

I'm sending you some virtual strength and resilience.

Pushka, Youre words have meant so much to me so so many time. I am truly sorry you are going through this but I do think youre right that when you ask for signs and your eyes are open God shows you signs.. youre also right, I feel, about God showing you what you need to know.. when youre ready to see it. You are so strong. You are amazing. You have inspired me on so many occasions and you probably don't have any idea of it. Again, I am sorry. Praying for your serenity tonight. With you in support as your friend.

Praying that you will move through this pain and find happiness soon.

You are okay ((my friend)) Your faith is inspiring.

God did NOT bring you this far to drop you on your head. I did exactly what you did, I stopped directing God to "fix" my marriage, and just started praying for serenity, whatever that was supposed to look like. I took myself out of the god position and let it be.

Long story short, we did divorce and that was nearly 4 years ago now. They told me to keep trusting, that when one door closes, another will open. Well, it felt like I sat in the hallway for a very long time... finally I just decided to put intense focus on recovery. The fellowship was my source of love, I look back and feel so blessed. I went to four meetings a week, they held me up.

Your post reminds me of my meditation this morning, "There is no empty space. As fears and worries and resentments depart out of my life, the things of the spirit come in to take their place. Calm comes after the storm. As soon as I am rid of fears and hatred... God's love and peace and calm can come in."

Hang in there, sweetie. It's going to get better, God has a beautiful plan for you.

 

 

((((Pushka)))) you've got program along with the pain and it's good to hear the courage along with the confusion and hurt.  I remember my turns (yes that's turns because I never learn the first time I touch the burner) at this and one of the memories comes with facing it with acceptance and forgiveness, love and understanding.  I wasn't saying "it's okay" I was learning to say "it's not about me and I'm going thru it".  Alcoholism sucks and infidelity does all the time no matter the chemical condition of the players.  It cannot hurt me unless I participate.

You'll get past this Pushka and those that will touch you will be better off because of how you pass it on.   Keep coming back.  HP bless (((((hugs)))))

Hi Pushka,

I'm sorry this has happened to you.

You are truly an inspiration to all of us.

Thinking of you,

Tracey

I am sorry to hear this! I am so glad you work a great program and even in the midst of all this you sound aware and smart. I am sending you love and support!!!