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Post Info TOPIC: Need some guidance


Member

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Posts: 14
Date:
Need some guidance


My boyfriend is an alcoholic, he's recognized this for years, but has a huge problem with staying sober. He's relapsed a few times since we've been together, he always bounces back and.gets sober within a day or two. He had been sober this last time for a year until a week ago and this is the worst I've seen him. I feel like I should be doing something to help, but I'm not sure what. I pray for him but it doesn't feel like enough. It's really taking a toll on our relationship because I feel if he loved me he would want to quit so I wouldn't be hurting like this. I'm not sure what I can do. I could definitely use some advice! Thank you.

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MDK


Veteran Member

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Posts: 58
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Welcome Cassie
I was in a similiar place with my husband when we dated but now I know that I have to remember the three Cs I didn't Cause it. I can't Control it. and I can't Cure it. You are in the right place. I hope you keep coming back.

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One Day at a Time

MDK



Member

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Posts: 14
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Thank you, I just don't know how long I can stay and watch him hurt himself.

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~*Service Worker*~

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Welcome, CK, I'm glad you found us.

It's okay to love an alcoholic. But I had to love myself too, I had waited for things to get better for years and over time, I had become emotionally, physically and spiritually bankrupt.

In al-anon, we learn to detach. To find my serenity, I had to detach at all costs. I had to get away from it, it was the best I could do. I had to love my alcoholic in a different way.

You matter too, sweetie. Take care of yourself, WHATEVER that looks like. Look up the al-anon meetings in your area and find a meeting time that works. Let the love and understanding there help you through this, you don't have to do this alone anymore. ((hugs))



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The prayer isn't for Higher Power to change our lives, but rather to change us.



Member

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Posts: 14
Date:

Thank you

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~*Service Worker*~

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Posts: 13696
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Aloha Cassie...keep reaching out and keep keeping an open mind on the responses.  Don't let any preconceived notion of your own get in the way with the new information you are getting here.  Some of the new information I had to listen to in order to get a better perspective of what I was caught up in with my alcoholic addict was simple black and white reality.  I was told that when she was under the influence the person I was in a relationship with was "my alcoholic addict"   and   "not my wife"  the wife of my expectations and desires and will.  That helped me a ton to be able to understand and accept both my wife and my alcoholic addict and to know which one was there at any one time.

Keep coming back.  glad you are here.  ((((hugs)))) smile



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Member

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Posts: 14
Date:

Wow I've never looked at it that way. Thank you so much for your encouragement.

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