Al-Anon Family Group - Al-Anon Family Group

katfshh · katfshh

Two years ago when he relapsed and reappeared I ran across the USA to save him. It took him another 8 days to go to rehab. I bought him booze the whole time so he could "maintain" until he was ready. In hindsight it was ridiculous. Last year he relapsed and when he wanted help he called me and I ran...

Daisy Girl · Daisy Girl

AH has been gone all weekend. So nice and peaceful. He is on his way home and the anxiety is starting to creep back in. Praying for serenity while repeating, the three C's.

callmemara · callmemara

I guess I really don't have a question behind this post.... We are being dropped by our auto insurance of over 6 years (Geico) because of his driving record. He has had multiple tickets in the past year for speeding, seat belt, traffic signal violates. Suspended license for not taking a drive safely cl...

debhud · debhud

yesterday our extended family celebrated mothers day at my moms. loud fight between AS and bipolar daughter. my mother was yelling at me to "do something about her!" (AS was involved in this conversation) i said to my mother, "i cannot fix her mental illness any more than i can fix...

slogan_jim · slogan_jim

Hi Everyone, My name is Jim. I have been going to Al-Anon for about 2 years now and have noticed a huge difference in my life. I never feel more at peace with myself when I can share at a meeting and not be judged for my past behaviour. One issue has come up with me recently that I would like some sharing on. The...

ladysoblue · ladysoblue

So... here we are at Friday afternoon again - a very typical one where it's mid-afternoon, and I haven't heard anything from the AH. Last night we discussed what his schedule would be like today, but today it's not yet resembling what we had talked about. Gee, surprise surprise. The familiar feeling o...

Fina · Fina

Expectations: From: Courage to Change. One Day at a Time in Al-Anon IIAl-Anon Family Groups Inc. Page 2.Turning to an alcoholic for affection and support can be like going to a hardware store for bread. Perhaps we expect a "good" parent to nurture and support our feelings, or a "lo...

Tracey C · Tracey C

Hi Linda, What you have described is no. 4 of the Laundry list. We either become alcoholics, marry them or both - or find another compulsive personality, such as a workaholic, to fulfill our sick abandonment needs. It goes on to read; If we make a careful survey of those close to us, family and non-fami...

Jerry F · Jerry F

to all the mother here who have ever loved and cared for children whether their own or those of others like myself. I am always grateful beyond words to the women of early Al-Anon who took me into their hearts and care and were patient as I stumbled on flat ground and walk into walls in bright light becau...

Julie3310 · Julie3310

I don't even know where to begin. I come on here constantly getting the best support I can possibly find on here and I attempt to go to meetings even though I work 2 jobs and can never make the timing. But I seek out the truth and I still choose to be stubborn and nieve and indenial. Sometimes I would rather my...

hotrod · hotrod

I will be out of town for a few days and have postied the 1st Tradition to the Step Work Board. A study of these traditions helped me to learn how to work in groups in and outside the rooms. Please join us and share the journey Tradition 1 alanon (Preview/Moderate) 12 TraditionsOne Day at a Time in Al...

ilovedogs · ilovedogs

One of the things I'm really focusing on in my recovery is in trying to not take things personally and keeping control of my emotions, but also maintaining my serenity and sanity at the same time. I got the perfect chance today. My AH, son, and I were sitting outside a grocery store waiting to get burge...

pineapple · pineapple

If I'm not mistaken, today is Mother's Day in the U.S. (Mother's Day was on Thursday here in Guatemala.) I know that holidays can sometimes be especially tough for those who love and/or live with A's. But I hope this day is a happy, peaceful one for all of you. (That includes non-mothers ,too.) Best wish...

sookie · sookie

I am a little perplexed today as I suspect my husband has actually chugged down the *children's medicine* in the house--Musinex and children's allergy meds. I know because they were expensive ~$10 each (I have the only income for the household) and I was disappointed that my daughter only took one do...

sweeetr · sweeetr

What an ass!!!!! Feeling sorry for himself and trying to control where I play game instead of on my phone it should be on computer

Fina · Fina

Recovery Meditations ~ Worry ~ One Day at a Time ~ May 12, 2012:~*~:. .:~*~:. .:~*~:. .:~*~:. .:~*~:. Recovery MeditationsOne Day at a TimeMay 12, 2012~ WORRY ~:~*~:. .:~*~:. .:~*~:. .:~*~:. .:~*~:. .:~*~:. .:~*~Don't worry about the world coming to an end today. It's already tomorrow in Austr...

Daisy Girl · Daisy Girl

Hi everyone! New to the boards. I have been around this week reading and soaking it all in, bouncing back and forth between this board and Adult Children board. Working on Step 1. For as long as I can remember I have tried to control. I felt such relief today, talking to myself, "I can't control that...

Aloha · Aloha

This is such a great read. I'm glad I opened it (I have it tucked away in my desk at work). For me it gets down to the heart of the matter - the biggest challenge I have with my own "dis-ease" is one of looking outside of myself to find gratification. Usually, the perceived Golden Ticket I've alwa...

Wolfie55 · Wolfie55

We are attending the annual MCYPAA in Halifax, Nova Scotia. thats the Maritime Conference of Young People in AA. Al-Anon and Alateen are there in full force. Fortunately its not only for young people but its also for the young at heart. I'll be 56 this month but I still got hats like Bruno and moves like J...

Pushka · Pushka

It's been a much better week this week .. last week really left me feeling like someone had out and out slimed me. The slime if mostly off and I know I didn't start that whole thing. I'm really being challenged to give it all over to HP at this point and boy do I want to hold on to something .. that free falling...

sweeetr · sweeetr

I am not normally good about reading other than magazines and things I must because of work. However, the book The New CoDependecy has really hit home, helping me with my life struggles. My friends and family make comments to me on when you get enough you'll leave. They dont understand,under these ad...

surfgirl123 · surfgirl123

Follow up on seeing my husbands counselor this morning. Wow. Wasn't expecting this. She thinks he is bi-polar and needs to get evaluated and on medication. She says that even with medication bi-polar invidivuals are very difficult to live with, at best, and that they never truly stop cycling it just...

Michelle814 · Michelle814

I have been meditating alot lately. I love it. I start out stressed, but I shut up and listen. I slowly relax, my fingers tingle, my body becomes light as a feather.. and there in my silence, I am healed. I was screaming, yesterday, in my head yesterday, while deep in meditation: "Why does life ha...

Jennifer · Jennifer

I may be hungry and tired often, lonely rarely but I am all three right this moment. Before I go off to eat, phone a friend and get some sleep ... I want to express some gratitude for not being angry. It has been a long time since I could say I am not angry in some way, shape or form. Thanks everybody. Jen

sweeetr · sweeetr

After last night when I didn't handle myself well with detachment and trying to control over when I knew he had been drinking way more than is under control.. I spend the day reading and being on here preparing myself for what might come. I have to say we as a family had a wonderful night. No alcohol invol...

WornOutMrsFixIt · WornOutMrsFixIt

Hi everybody! I have been dealing with a husband who went through an extremely rough detox in mid March and went to an inpatient rehab program for a good part of April. He has been home for about 3 weeks now. I have tried to pop in here enough to read and keep my hopes grounded in reality but not stick around t...

Tigger · Tigger

I'm faking it to make it...right here, right now as I sit here writing this on my iphone! I look very detached and unengaged don't I...lol. I even look like I've got my own life to focus on and am focused on my own actibvities. I'm keeping a good healthy boundary of calm protection around me. Not focusing o...

Kicks611 · Kicks611

I am posting because I am absolutely beside myself in terms of what I should or can be doing, if anything, to help my father. I know this message/thread is kind of long - but if you have any time at all to read or reply, i'd appreciate more than you could possibly know. Ive posted here before and told my sto...

usedtobeanyer · usedtobeanyer

The topic in my meeting last night was expectations. I heard a very powerful share from a member of the group, reminding me of the very important concept that expectations are just premeditated resentments. So true. He continued and shared how for him, how to get past expectations was to just trust th...

seekingserenity · seekingserenity

So...today has been an OK day..I actually put Step 1 into practice last night before I went to bed and this morning I got the opportunity to use it again. I felt so much freer because I was able to do that. Then I realized something. In using Step 1, I am making myself vulnerable. Well, sort of anyway. I mea...

MeTwo2 · MeTwo2

Seems I do good for awhile and then I sink back into the grief and pain. I am really struggling with my own reality tonight .. missing the addict again .. guess that's part of recovery .. this too shall pass .. the sadness and hurt but it does hurt .. the idea of him with someone new .. this new life .. our daug...

Brooke · Brooke

My husband said he wants a divorce 2 nights ago, out of his frustration with me and what hes had to put up with the last 22 years, and because he cant see it will change.He told me to take our 4yr old son and leave for the night.I did just that - but I also took our 12yr old son - there was no way I wasnt going to leav...

Highlyfavored · Highlyfavored

Yesterday,I allowed myself to get involved in the drama at my a/a's daughters house. But, only for a moment, thank God for sponsors. My sponsor pointed out she is using everything she knows to push my buttons. She suggested to not even listen to what is going on at her house and to say to whoever is bri...

sookie · sookie

Does anyone have any experiences with this idea? In other words, how you started getting better and it actually did help the A in your life. Sometimes, I get a glimpse of it in my relationship...but then it flutters away. My AH still plays the victim role a lot and I just don't fall for it anymore--and I am...

katfshh · katfshh

AF is spiriling out of control. Yesterday he told me he would go to detox today. This am, he had no intention. He left here on foot, asked me where his passport was first. He left walked to the store to buy booze, then came back for a quick second and left again. I know I shouldn't worry and I should detach, bu...

amills4294 · amills4294

Yes, I am a mom and for me that part of the day will be good. But as an ACoA of an A mom this is a very painful day for me. I know in many ways I played victim to her A'ness for a long time. I no longer feel victim but the pain and sadness is still there. Sometimes it's so overwhelming. I'll look at my daughter an...

Fina · Fina

Recovery MeditationsOne Day at a TimeMay 10, 2012~ GOOD DAYS BAD DAYS ~:~*~:. .:~*~:. .:~*~:. .:~*~:. .:~*~:. .:~*~:. .:~*~Most of the shadows of this life are caused by standing in one's own sunshine.Ralph Waldo Emerson:~*~:. .:~*~:. .:~*~:. .:~*~:. .:~*~:. .:~*~:. .:~*~Thank You, God, for a...

silent · silent

with my a/d b/f out of my life and now im all alone agin, makes it hard to except everything around me as far as allthe good ,positive,focusing on me,for im such a sick codependent,that im haveing these feelings of guilt like i dont deserve for life to be soo good to me ,im running myself to death trying to d...

Green Eyes · Green Eyes

I am trying to stay focused on the positive today since I it has been a day of many negative developments. Here's my list of positives: 1. My health has improved 2. My listening skills have improved greatly 3. I am choosing to take time to focus on my relationship with God and my faith 4. I sleep better a nig...

bettyboop · bettyboop

So over the weekend my ABF decided he was going to humiliate me infront of my oldest and dearest freinds...I took the opportunity to do some reading instead of get caught up n his craziness...Best thing I EVER did! I learned so much from what I read. Actions speak louder than words; Take care of me; Prote...

KLotus · KLotus

Hi Everyone, I hope you are well. :) Three weeks ago my AH, while holding our toddler daughter, slammed me in a door several times, pushed me out the door, and locked me out of the house while he had her inside. I called the police, and filed a report. Apparently they were supposed to arrest him, and not e...

orchidlover · orchidlover

Yesterday I took a day for me because it was my birthday. In years past I lamented long and hard that the ex A did all kinds of cruel stuff on my birthday. He once took one of his friends out on my birthday! In years past the fact I wasn't deluged with cards, presents and more would have been a sign of my self...

katfshh · katfshh

My AF's ex wife who is on the East Coast started really getting worried about their son. I hadn't spoken to my AF the entire week he was gone, but she talked to him yesterday and he still hadn't found his son. She basically begged me to drive up to Venice Beach and help my AF find him. It was good that we did, we...

living for me · living for me

My husband and I have agreed to a ninety day trial separation. I have been gone since April 29th with my two small children. I requested that we only talk once a week at a pre-arranged time. I just don't need his insanity, whether it's in-person or over the phone. Nor do I want to deal with his manipulation...

willowtree · willowtree

I have noticed something about myself that I hope to change. When someone is talking in a setting of a few people, I seem to start daydreaming. I have noticed that other people in alanon (longtimers) seem to be really engaged with the people they are listening to. They even act interested and ask que...

Grace7 · Grace7

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pineapple · pineapple

Gee, I've been doing so good for so long-but today I had a temper tantrum. Things have been piling up the last few days (Both A and non-A related) and this afternoon I just had enough, the anger and frustration had to come out. I threw a flashlight (it wasn't working) on the ground, watched it break into pi...

Fina · Fina

One of the most difficult attitude problems any counselor faces is that of "entitlement". Entitlement is an attitude of "I'm owed." It is apparent in beliefs such as these:"I'm a college graduate, so I deserve a high-paying job.""I've been good to my friend...

amills4294 · amills4294

OK, I posted this on the adult children site as well. I'm an adult child of an A, my H is not an A but I struggle with the relationship a lot from my past as well as his behaviors too. So I"m posting here for any ESH as well. My H has been going through a new company takeover/employer at work. I know it i...

Ree · Ree

Hi. I'm new to this form of Al-Anon chatting. Couldn't figure out how to make the on-line meeting work (suggestions anyone?) and I need to be "around" recovering people right now. No drama happening, just old and contual feelings of insecurity, anxiety (about what??) and obsession with...

surfgirl123 · surfgirl123

Well my AH fell off the wagon , and as usual flew into a rage. I told him I couldn't be witness to this again and I drove off. I had my emergency bag at the office and the day has come for me to use it. Please pray for my dog, I had to leave that moment and can't take her to a hotel. She is all I am worried about right no...

Green Eyes · Green Eyes

I finally had the chance to be with all of my grown daughters this past weekend and was able to tell them that I am divorcing their dad (my AH of 30 years). Our two daughters who don't have issues with alcohol took the news fairly well and were very supportive and concerned for both me and their dad. My AD was...

Fina · Fina

Recovery MeditationsOne Day at a TimeMay 9, 2012~ OPEN MINDEDNESS ~:~*~:. .:~*~:. .:~*~:. .:~*~:. .:~*~:. .:~*~:. .:~*~Let go of your attachment to being right, and suddenly your mind ismore open. You're able to benefit from the unique viewpoints ofothers, without being crippled by your own ju...

ilovedogs · ilovedogs

So, I was just posting about guilt right? I just got out of the shower and he has a dozen roses on the kitchen counter in vases for me! 6 red and 6 white. And, the first question in my mind is: how did he get said roses??? I'm assuming he drove to the grocery store! So, how do I respond? Gratitude for the ef...

dragonflys · dragonflys

So I told my husband that he had two choices, go to family counseling so we can figure out a way to help my son or he could leave. He was very upset. I didn't want to give any kind of ultimatum but I cannot continue living the way that we are. Obviously this is all my fault. Well mine and my sons as he has already d...

willowtree · willowtree

http://www.hlntv.com/video/2012/05/08/dealing-alcoholic-denial-- Edited by willowtree on Wednesday 9th of...

sookie · sookie

Feeling weepy today. MY separated AH and I took our girls out of town for a vacation. I thought he had been sober for a few months, but then the day before we left--he was slurring his speech on the phone from work...and reeked the next day of alcohol. He just stared out the window in silence for most of the c...

willowtree · willowtree

I recently applied for a job with a company I am very passionate about. I didn't think I would get hired. I think it was exciting to think about working for them but I had no idea that it would actually happen. It is a work from home job part time, 4 hours a day. This transition from being a SAHM for the las...

Inawhirl · Inawhirl

Thank you. I'm new to these boards; they seem to be great. Thanks for the support you all show each other. 23yo AD made her amends to me today. She is nearly a month into the program and a month sober, though we certainly tried to get her in the program and off drugs/alcohol during HS. (DH took her to me...

Hoot Nanny · Hoot Nanny

Just saying...if it ain't one thing it is another! My mother did not get in a car accident yesterday but some people think they need to let me know & it was actually not true. I am so frustrated w/ people in my small town. One guy who thought he heard on his scanner that my mom had been in this so-called ac...

Topic		Started By	Replies	Views	Last Post
	I see progress! (Preview) Two years ago when he relapsed and reappeared I ran across the USA to save him. It took him another 8 days to go to rehab. I bought him booze the whole time so he could "maintain" until he was ready. In hindsight it was ridiculous. Last year he relapsed and when he wanted help he called me and I ran...	katfshh	7	527	May 14, 2012 by ladysoblue
	Anxious! (Preview) AH has been gone all weekend. So nice and peaceful. He is on his way home and the anxiety is starting to creep back in. Praying for serenity while repeating, the three C's.	Daisy Girl	3	361	May 14, 2012 by ladysoblue
	When his actions affect me. (Preview) I guess I really don't have a question behind this post.... We are being dropped by our auto insurance of over 6 years (Geico) because of his driving record. He has had multiple tickets in the past year for speeding, seat belt, traffic signal violates. Suspended license for not taking a drive safely cl...	callmemara	8	647	May 14, 2012 by Pushka
	mothers day fight. (Preview) yesterday our extended family celebrated mothers day at my moms. loud fight between AS and bipolar daughter. my mother was yelling at me to "do something about her!" (AS was involved in this conversation) i said to my mother, "i cannot fix her mental illness any more than i can fix...	debhud	1	394	May 14, 2012 by Jerry F
	Need advice on dealing with bitterness. (Preview) Hi Everyone, My name is Jim. I have been going to Al-Anon for about 2 years now and have noticed a huge difference in my life. I never feel more at peace with myself when I can share at a meeting and not be judged for my past behaviour. One issue has come up with me recently that I would like some sharing on. The...	slogan_jim	12	773	May 14, 2012 by likemyheart
	Three cheers for Friday after work...!!! (Preview) So... here we are at Friday afternoon again - a very typical one where it's mid-afternoon, and I haven't heard anything from the AH. Last night we discussed what his schedule would be like today, but today it's not yet resembling what we had talked about. Gee, surprise surprise. The familiar feeling o...	ladysoblue	3	400	May 14, 2012 by Bargee
	5/13 Sunday Evening Meeting 7 pm Eastern on EXPECTATIONS (Preview) Expectations: From: Courage to Change. One Day at a Time in Al-Anon IIAl-Anon Family Groups Inc. Page 2.Turning to an alcoholic for affection and support can be like going to a hardware store for bread. Perhaps we expect a "good" parent to nurture and support our feelings, or a "lo...	Fina	0	313	May 14, 2012 by Fina
	Answering Linda's letter on acoa site on abandonment (Preview) Hi Linda, What you have described is no. 4 of the Laundry list. We either become alcoholics, marry them or both - or find another compulsive personality, such as a workaholic, to fulfill our sick abandonment needs. It goes on to read; If we make a careful survey of those close to us, family and non-fami...	Tracey C	2	416	May 14, 2012 by Oksie
	Happy Mothers Day (Preview) to all the mother here who have ever loved and cared for children whether their own or those of others like myself. I am always grateful beyond words to the women of early Al-Anon who took me into their hearts and care and were patient as I stumbled on flat ground and walk into walls in bright light becau...	Jerry F	3	361	May 14, 2012 by glad lee
	Will the relapses ever end?????? His family involved now! This is too much! (Preview) I don't even know where to begin. I come on here constantly getting the best support I can possibly find on here and I attempt to go to meetings even though I work 2 jobs and can never make the timing. But I seek out the truth and I still choose to be stubborn and nieve and indenial. Sometimes I would rather my...	Julie3310	15	498	May 14, 2012 by Julie3310
	12 Traditions (Preview) I will be out of town for a few days and have postied the 1st Tradition to the Step Work Board. A study of these traditions helped me to learn how to work in groups in and outside the rooms. Please join us and share the journey Tradition 1 alanon (Preview/Moderate) 12 TraditionsOne Day at a Time in Al...	hotrod	1	391	May 14, 2012 by Breakingfree
	Maintaining serenity (Preview) One of the things I'm really focusing on in my recovery is in trying to not take things personally and keeping control of my emotions, but also maintaining my serenity and sanity at the same time. I got the perfect chance today. My AH, son, and I were sitting outside a grocery store waiting to get burge...	ilovedogs	15	751	May 13, 2012 by Mattie
	Happy Mother's Day! (Preview) If I'm not mistaken, today is Mother's Day in the U.S. (Mother's Day was on Thursday here in Guatemala.) I know that holidays can sometimes be especially tough for those who love and/or live with A's. But I hope this day is a happy, peaceful one for all of you. (That includes non-mothers ,too.) Best wish...	pineapple	2	322	May 13, 2012 by Pushka
	AH raiding medicine cabinet now? (Preview) I am a little perplexed today as I suspect my husband has actually chugged down the children's medicine in the house--Musinex and children's allergy meds. I know because they were expensive ~$10 each (I have the only income for the household) and I was disappointed that my daughter only took one do...	sookie	5	434	May 13, 2012 by sookie
	Ugh (Preview) What an ass!!!!! Feeling sorry for himself and trying to control where I play game instead of on my phone it should be on computer	sweeetr	0	272	May 13, 2012 by sweeetr
	WORRY (Preview) *Recovery Meditations ~ Worry ~ One Day at a Time ~ May 12, 2012:~~:. .:~~:. .:~~:. .:~~:. .:~~:. Recovery MeditationsOne Day at a TimeMay 12, 2012~ WORRY ~:~~:. .:~~:. .:~~:. .:~~:. .:~~:. .:~~:. .:~~Don't worry about the world coming to an end today. It's already* tomorrow in Austr...	Fina	2	396	May 13, 2012 by Wolfie55
	Newbie, just getting started (Preview) Hi everyone! New to the boards. I have been around this week reading and soaking it all in, bouncing back and forth between this board and Adult Children board. Working on Step 1. For as long as I can remember I have tried to control. I felt such relief today, talking to myself, "I can't control that...	Daisy Girl	3	394	May 13, 2012 by pineapple
	May 11th's Courage to Change (Preview) This is such a great read. I'm glad I opened it (I have it tucked away in my desk at work). For me it gets down to the heart of the matter - the biggest challenge I have with my own "dis-ease" is one of looking outside of myself to find gratification. Usually, the perceived Golden Ticket I've alwa...	Aloha	4	712	May 13, 2012 by Tigger
	Hats Like Bruno, Moves Like Jagger (Preview) We are attending the annual MCYPAA in Halifax, Nova Scotia. thats the Maritime Conference of Young People in AA. Al-Anon and Alateen are there in full force. Fortunately its not only for young people but its also for the young at heart. I'll be 56 this month but I still got hats like Bruno and moves like J...	Wolfie55	3	291	May 13, 2012 by Wolfie55
	Giving it to HP (Preview) It's been a much better week this week .. last week really left me feeling like someone had out and out slimed me. The slime if mostly off and I know I didn't start that whole thing. I'm really being challenged to give it all over to HP at this point and boy do I want to hold on to something .. that free falling...	Pushka	7	455	May 12, 2012 by Michelle814
	The New Codependency (Preview) I am not normally good about reading other than magazines and things I must because of work. However, the book The New CoDependecy has really hit home, helping me with my life struggles. My friends and family make comments to me on when you get enough you'll leave. They dont understand,under these ad...	sweeetr	9	3134	May 12, 2012 by Michelle814
	Wasn't Expecting What Therapist Said (Preview) Follow up on seeing my husbands counselor this morning. Wow. Wasn't expecting this. She thinks he is bi-polar and needs to get evaluated and on medication. She says that even with medication bi-polar invidivuals are very difficult to live with, at best, and that they never truly stop cycling it just...	surfgirl123	8	692	May 12, 2012 by Fina
	Its Me!!! (Preview) I have been meditating alot lately. I love it. I start out stressed, but I shut up and listen. I slowly relax, my fingers tingle, my body becomes light as a feather.. and there in my silence, I am healed. I was screaming, yesterday, in my head yesterday, while deep in meditation: "Why does life ha...	Michelle814	6	491	May 12, 2012 by Michelle814
	HLT not a misspelling (Preview) I may be hungry and tired often, lonely rarely but I am all three right this moment. Before I go off to eat, phone a friend and get some sleep ... I want to express some gratitude for not being angry. It has been a long time since I could say I am not angry in some way, shape or form. Thanks everybody. Jen	Jennifer	10	577	May 12, 2012 by Fina
	Just when you are prepared (Preview) After last night when I didn't handle myself well with detachment and trying to control over when I knew he had been drinking way more than is under control.. I spend the day reading and being on here preparing myself for what might come. I have to say we as a family had a wonderful night. No alcohol invol...	sweeetr	2	510	May 12, 2012 by Tracey C
	Post Rehab Story (Preview) Hi everybody! I have been dealing with a husband who went through an extremely rough detox in mid March and went to an inpatient rehab program for a good part of April. He has been home for about 3 weeks now. I have tried to pop in here enough to read and keep my hopes grounded in reality but not stick around t...	WornOutMrsFixIt	8	565	May 12, 2012 by WornOutMrsFixIt
	Faking it to make it (Preview) I'm faking it to make it...right here, right now as I sit here writing this on my iphone! I look very detached and unengaged don't I...lol. I even look like I've got my own life to focus on and am focused on my own actibvities. I'm keeping a good healthy boundary of calm protection around me. Not focusing o...	Tigger	13	623	May 12, 2012 by Jennifer
	Please help - Father is a severe alcoholic, close to death (Preview) I am posting because I am absolutely beside myself in terms of what I should or can be doing, if anything, to help my father. I know this message/thread is kind of long - but if you have any time at all to read or reply, i'd appreciate more than you could possibly know. Ive posted here before and told my sto...	Kicks611	10	696	May 12, 2012 by Debilyn
	Everything is going to be alright (Preview) The topic in my meeting last night was expectations. I heard a very powerful share from a member of the group, reminding me of the very important concept that expectations are just premeditated resentments. So true. He continued and shared how for him, how to get past expectations was to just trust th...	usedtobeanyer	6	606	May 12, 2012 by Jerry F
	I was gonna blog but I didn't want to talk to myself LOL (Preview) So...today has been an OK day..I actually put Step 1 into practice last night before I went to bed and this morning I got the opportunity to use it again. I felt so much freer because I was able to do that. Then I realized something. In using Step 1, I am making myself vulnerable. Well, sort of anyway. I mea...	seekingserenity	1	324	May 11, 2012 by Oksie
	Hurting again (Preview) Seems I do good for awhile and then I sink back into the grief and pain. I am really struggling with my own reality tonight .. missing the addict again .. guess that's part of recovery .. this too shall pass .. the sadness and hurt but it does hurt .. the idea of him with someone new .. this new life .. our daug...	MeTwo2	10	520	May 11, 2012 by MeTwo2
	He threatened divorce, I dont know what to do next... (Preview) My husband said he wants a divorce 2 nights ago, out of his frustration with me and what hes had to put up with the last 22 years, and because he cant see it will change.He told me to take our 4yr old son and leave for the night.I did just that - but I also took our 12yr old son - there was no way I wasnt going to leav...	Brooke	18	760	May 11, 2012 by sweeetr
	Drama! Drama! (Preview) Yesterday,I allowed myself to get involved in the drama at my a/a's daughters house. But, only for a moment, thank God for sponsors. My sponsor pointed out she is using everything she knows to push my buttons. She suggested to not even listen to what is going on at her house and to say to whoever is bri...	Highlyfavored	5	430	May 11, 2012 by Highlyfavored
	Changed attitudes aid in the alcoholic's recovery (Preview) Does anyone have any experiences with this idea? In other words, how you started getting better and it actually did help the A in your life. Sometimes, I get a glimpse of it in my relationship...but then it flutters away. My AH still plays the victim role a lot and I just don't fall for it anymore--and I am...	sookie	12	870	May 11, 2012 by sookie
	It's hard not to worry.. (Preview) AF is spiriling out of control. Yesterday he told me he would go to detox today. This am, he had no intention. He left here on foot, asked me where his passport was first. He left walked to the store to buy booze, then came back for a quick second and left again. I know I shouldn't worry and I should detach, bu...	katfshh	3	394	May 11, 2012 by Breakingfree
	Mother's Day - not a Hallmark Greeting card day for me (Preview) Yes, I am a mom and for me that part of the day will be good. But as an ACoA of an A mom this is a very painful day for me. I know in many ways I played victim to her A'ness for a long time. I no longer feel victim but the pain and sadness is still there. Sometimes it's so overwhelming. I'll look at my daughter an...	amills4294	4	627	May 11, 2012 by Breakingfree
	GOOD DAYS AND BAD DAYS AND SHADOWS (Preview) Recovery MeditationsOne Day at a TimeMay 10, 2012~ GOOD DAYS BAD DAYS ~:~~:. .:~~:. .:~~:. .:~~:. .:~~:. .:~~:. .:~~Most of the shadows of this life are caused by standing in one's own sunshine.Ralph Waldo Emerson:~~:. .:~~:. .:~~:. .:~~:. .:~~:. .:~~:. .:~~Thank You, God, for a...	Fina	1	338	May 11, 2012 by Breakingfree
	hard to except feelings of self worth (Preview) with my a/d b/f out of my life and now im all alone agin, makes it hard to except everything around me as far as allthe good ,positive,focusing on me,for im such a sick codependent,that im haveing these feelings of guilt like i dont deserve for life to be soo good to me ,im running myself to death trying to d...	silent	6	462	May 11, 2012 by Breakingfree
	Positive Changes Since Joining Al-Anon (Preview) I am trying to stay focused on the positive today since I it has been a day of many negative developments. Here's my list of positives: 1. My health has improved 2. My listening skills have improved greatly 3. I am choosing to take time to focus on my relationship with God and my faith 4. I sleep better a nig...	Green Eyes	7	452	May 11, 2012 by pineapple
	HUGE step forward and so PROUD of myself!!!! (Preview) So over the weekend my ABF decided he was going to humiliate me infront of my oldest and dearest freinds...I took the opportunity to do some reading instead of get caught up n his craziness...Best thing I EVER did! I learned so much from what I read. Actions speak louder than words; Take care of me; Prote...	bettyboop	12	564	May 11, 2012 by Brooke
	Check in - has been a while (Preview) Hi Everyone, I hope you are well. :) Three weeks ago my AH, while holding our toddler daughter, slammed me in a door several times, pushed me out the door, and locked me out of the house while he had her inside. I called the police, and filed a report. Apparently they were supposed to arrest him, and not e...	KLotus	11	497	May 10, 2012 by Oksie
	What's good enough (Preview) Yesterday I took a day for me because it was my birthday. In years past I lamented long and hard that the ex A did all kinds of cruel stuff on my birthday. He once took one of his friends out on my birthday! In years past the fact I wasn't deluged with cards, presents and more would have been a sign of my self...	orchidlover	5	371	May 10, 2012 by orchidlover
	Trying not to get in my car-update (Preview) My AF's ex wife who is on the East Coast started really getting worried about their son. I hadn't spoken to my AF the entire week he was gone, but she talked to him yesterday and he still hadn't found his son. She basically begged me to drive up to Venice Beach and help my AF find him. It was good that we did, we...	katfshh	9	566	May 10, 2012 by orchidlover
	Separated (Preview) My husband and I have agreed to a ninety day trial separation. I have been gone since April 29th with my two small children. I requested that we only talk once a week at a pre-arranged time. I just don't need his insanity, whether it's in-person or over the phone. Nor do I want to deal with his manipulation...	living for me	7	523	May 10, 2012 by Pushka
	I'm a daydreamer (Preview) I have noticed something about myself that I hope to change. When someone is talking in a setting of a few people, I seem to start daydreaming. I have noticed that other people in alanon (longtimers) seem to be really engaged with the people they are listening to. They even act interested and ask que...	willowtree	3	290	May 10, 2012 by orchidlover
	Sign Up to Faciltate a Weekend Meeting .... Schedule Below Thank YOU for Your Service and Care Here! (Preview) --------------------------------------------------------------------------------	Grace7	3	344	May 10, 2012 by Fina
	starting over (Preview) Gee, I've been doing so good for so long-but today I had a temper tantrum. Things have been piling up the last few days (Both A and non-A related) and this afternoon I just had enough, the anger and frustration had to come out. I threw a flashlight (it wasn't working) on the ground, watched it break into pi...	pineapple	5	410	May 10, 2012 by amills4294
	Feeling Entitled? (Preview) One of the most difficult attitude problems any counselor faces is that of "*entitlement*". Entitlement is an attitude of "I'm owed." It is apparent in beliefs such as these:"I'm a college graduate, so I deserve a high-paying job.""I've been good to my friend...	Fina	0	634	May 10, 2012 by Fina
	struggling a bit with others today (actually struggling with my own behavior) (Preview) OK, I posted this on the adult children site as well. I'm an adult child of an A, my H is not an A but I struggle with the relationship a lot from my past as well as his behaviors too. So I"m posting here for any ESH as well. My H has been going through a new company takeover/employer at work. I know it i...	amills4294	3	524	May 10, 2012 by Breakingfree
	Need a meeting (Preview) Hi. I'm new to this form of Al-Anon chatting. Couldn't figure out how to make the on-line meeting work (suggestions anyone?) and I need to be "around" recovering people right now. No drama happening, just old and contual feelings of insecurity, anxiety (about what??) and obsession with...	Ree	2	247	May 10, 2012 by Breakingfree
	I Did It (Preview) Well my AH fell off the wagon , and as usual flew into a rage. I told him I couldn't be witness to this again and I drove off. I had my emergency bag at the office and the day has come for me to use it. Please pray for my dog, I had to leave that moment and can't take her to a hotel. She is all I am worried about right no...	surfgirl123	13	604	May 10, 2012 by Breakingfree
	Update (Preview) I finally had the chance to be with all of my grown daughters this past weekend and was able to tell them that I am divorcing their dad (my AH of 30 years). Our two daughters who don't have issues with alcohol took the news fairly well and were very supportive and concerned for both me and their dad. My AD was...	Green Eyes	5	394	May 10, 2012 by Breakingfree
	Open Mindedness (Preview) *Recovery MeditationsOne Day at a TimeMay 9, 2012~ OPEN MINDEDNESS ~:~~:. .:~~:. .:~~:. .:~~:. .:~~:. .:~~:. .:~~Let go of your attachment to being right, and suddenly your mind ismore open. You're able to benefit from the unique viewpoints ofothers, without being crippled by your own ju...**	Fina	0	420	May 9, 2012 by Fina
	UGH!!!!! Now what? (Preview) So, I was just posting about guilt right? I just got out of the shower and he has a dozen roses on the kitchen counter in vases for me! 6 red and 6 white. And, the first question in my mind is: how did he get said roses??? I'm assuming he drove to the grocery store! So, how do I respond? Gratitude for the ef...	ilovedogs	15	611	May 9, 2012 by pinkchip
	Its all my Fault (Preview) So I told my husband that he had two choices, go to family counseling so we can figure out a way to help my son or he could leave. He was very upset. I didn't want to give any kind of ultimatum but I cannot continue living the way that we are. Obviously this is all my fault. Well mine and my sons as he has already d...	dragonflys	5	535	May 9, 2012 by dragonflys
	Video by DrDrew"Are you dealing with an alcoholic" (Preview) http://www.hlntv.com/video/2012/05/08/dealing-alcoholic-denial-- Edited by willowtree on Wednesday 9th of...	willowtree	2	475	May 9, 2012 by Aloha
	Still in denial... (Preview) Feeling weepy today. MY separated AH and I took our girls out of town for a vacation. I thought he had been sober for a few months, but then the day before we left--he was slurring his speech on the phone from work...and reeked the next day of alcohol. He just stared out the window in silence for most of the c...	sookie	5	533	May 9, 2012 by sookie
	Wondering if I am I trying to sabatoge myself again? (Preview) I recently applied for a job with a company I am very passionate about. I didn't think I would get hired. I think it was exciting to think about working for them but I had no idea that it would actually happen. It is a work from home job part time, 4 hours a day. This transition from being a SAHM for the las...	willowtree	6	501	May 9, 2012 by Dolly Llama
	Amends (Preview) Thank you. I'm new to these boards; they seem to be great. Thanks for the support you all show each other. 23yo AD made her amends to me today. She is nearly a month into the program and a month sober, though we certainly tried to get her in the program and off drugs/alcohol during HS. (DH took her to me...	Inawhirl	5	425	May 9, 2012 by Inawhirl
	if it ain't one thing... (Preview) Just saying...if it ain't one thing it is another! My mother did not get in a car accident yesterday but some people think they need to let me know & it was actually not true. I am so frustrated w/ people in my small town. One guy who thought he heard on his scanner that my mom had been in this so-called ac...	Hoot Nanny	0	286	May 8, 2012 by Hoot Nanny
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The material presented here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method to exchange information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal level.