Al-Anon Family Group - Al-Anon Family Group

Kay356 · Kay356

TUESDAY NIGHT MEETING 9PM (EST) - TOPIC: THE SLOGANS OF ALANON Meeting scheduled in the al-anon chat room TOPICS are: KEEP COMING BACK, EASY DOES IT; HOW IMPORTANT IS IT? The group meeting room can be easily accessed by clicking on the link on the menu bar above the board. You can also join directly at h...

Debilyn · Debilyn

I called him this morn. He was quiet and listened. He says things will change, as far as his situation. I said for now I cannot do this. He was very sweet,gentle and asked me what he can do. Of course I told him I cannot make him change things. That is up to him. He wanted to call me tonight. I adamently said no...

PP · PP

I am struggling today to keep my nose clean and looking forward to a meeting tonight. I know this is all triggered by a neurologist visit I had with my father...it is really looking like he is in one of the stages of Alzheimer's disease. I visited with him yesterday and watched him cry over and over agai...

ParisMemories · ParisMemories

I am noticing today that I am doing a good job using my alanon tools at home with my H. That is the good news. Peaceful night at home, staying focused on me, not being mean, all good. Now for the bad news. reflecting on my work day, i see that I was Miss Negativity in the office today. Finding the negative in...

blondie99 · blondie99

Tonight, for the first time in 10 years, I planted my own vegetable garden. I started small - just some tomato plants (the little cherry ones I like so much) and some green chile. My uncle and his friend came and fixed my irrigation system several weeks ago so I've been sitting on go for some time. I have ha...

John · John

Seems everyone has some level of weirdness about them.... Then one day two people meet each other whose weirdness is compatible... They hook up, express their weirdness with each other... And they call it LOVE. "hey babe, ya wanna check out my weirdness, I think we'd make a good weird match!" LMAO

gavtrfc · gavtrfc

well here i am,lost in my own mind. for 6 months my newlywed wife has had a drink problem. always was a big drinker because her mum and dad drink a lot but was never an alcoholic. we had our daughter in 2010 and got married sept 2012. even on our honey moon she was permenetly drunk. since xmas, iv been comin ho...

sweeetr · sweeetr

FYI: Beware of ppl with these characteristics Warning signs for meeting or trusting people 1) Arrogant entitlement 2) Lack of empathy 3) No remorse/guilt (may even brag about screwing other people over) 4) Irresponsible/self-destructive 5) Thrive on drama 6) Brag about outsmarting 7) Short-te...

Lyne · Lyne

OK-Did you hear a volcano erupt yesterday? It was me. My A spouse finally joined a recovery group, and she even went to a meeting Sat. and Sun. She announced in the car yesterday, that she would go every other week. With everything I've learned I just could not help what happened. My adrenalin star...

KLotus · KLotus

My experience and healing process is leading me to ask a lot of very difficult questions. Thank you for letting me share. I am wondering - for all of you in marriages or relationships/partnerships with alcoholics - is abuse, in some form, a common element? I am examining myself, and the emotional/p...

Debilyn · Debilyn

The situation has made me very sick. I go from deep depression back to sorta ok. Always having my serenity foundation. His situation is his, not mine. It has gotten where I just cannot face talking to him anymore. Or any communication. The thought just hurts. It's so very hard to stay away from him. But I...

gwenci · gwenci

im sorry please look at my other old thread as ive added to it and i desprately need opinions please!

Ms co-dependent · Ms co-dependent

How many times do I need to set myself up for failure. I can't hide anything with out the Ah finding it.. Again my accounts have been revealed. Why do I set my self up . Ah always seam to no everything I do. I give up on any sight for help.. It get found and then this set me back thinking I was going to get better ti...

ParisMemories · ParisMemories

My AH sent me a long text, nothing much different that what he's done in the past, all about how he is sorry, he loves me, he feels worthless, he is a f'ng loser, on and on, BUT (big but) in the text, he said, "I know you don't want to hear my pity party, but.." I nearly danced when I saw that. He may or...

Breakingfree · Breakingfree

I have caught myself falling back into people pleasing which sacrifices me, I have been judgemental instead of minding what is in my own hoola hoop, I have been trying to control instead of letting go and letting God. I am struggling living in low income apartments surrounded by neighbors who are inv...

slogan_jim · slogan_jim

Hi everyone, I got a call from my sister today who said she got a call from the owner of my alcoholic father's local watering hole. They are friends. Apparently my dad has been banned from drinking at the establishment. Since he's apparently gone off the wall. The owner is thinking of getting the police...

slogan_jim · slogan_jim

Hi everyone, My name is slogan_jim and I'd like to share on something neat that happened to me today. I've been going through some issues of loneliness lately and today was such a beautiful day outside that it was just to nice to let it go to waste. I began texting a bunch of friends and all were busy. I bega...

Cathyinaz · Cathyinaz

I have realized everything I'm learning about detaching from my son is now a new learning experience with my partner ( non A ). After a pretty bad exchange this week with him I found myself saying the serenity prayer over and over again but about him now. Some very sad and hurtful things were said to me, a...

John · John

As the Asst. Director of Interfaith Hospitality Network here in Wilmington about 10 years ago, which caters to the needs of families with no place to live... I used this song with a video I created to present to local churches about homeless families with minor children, .. .just wanted to share it her...

KLotus · KLotus

I keep wanting to talk about my situation, my feelings, to get it out because I am stuck in my head and emotions. So much has been built up over the last 4 years of marriage. Now that I filed for divorce (3 months ago), and have a protection order, I thought I would find space to heal. Seemingly not happen...

sweeetr · sweeetr

things will never change in my marriage, when Im the only one trying to recover/go through the program and I'm under attack (verbal) every night.. Apologies most the morning.. attack again in the evening ... He has broken every promise and crossed every boundary plus two ! I feel there is no other way...

1976love · 1976love

I have a goal today. My ipod is broke. When you open an app it will click over to voice control or just turn the app I am using off...It's terrible for candy crush saga...getting it fixed today. I also have a somewhat personal problem...I'm down to one bra and underwear, who let's things get this bad, I...

yanksfan51 · yanksfan51

Hi Everyone: Wow--in many ways I cannot believe this day is here, in others I can't believe it didn't come sooner, but I have been thinking that all of this has happened according to God's plan, so I'm going to continue to work on giving it all over to Him. My A will be moving out the first week of June. Our ki...

Ms S · Ms S

I have had quite a time today keeping it together while my active drinking b/f has had a drink on - he's been hyper with it - singing and playing music, swearing and ranting. He's been saying all the things he can think to try to get me to react. I haven't reacted cos I know it's just the alcoholism but stil...

mercedes1959 · mercedes1959

Hi just wanted to let you know Overcome's mom fell this morning and is resting in the hospital. Asking for prayers for her and her mom. If u are friend's with her on facebook you can read more....

ParisMemories · ParisMemories

Having a rough day today. Discovered more lies from the AH, shouldn't be surprised by them...but I'm falling into all my old bad behaviors today. Discover the lie, confront, accuse, he clams up and says that when I get like this is when he wants to drink. I feel guilty, question myself, he leaves, I wor...

ParisMemories · ParisMemories

Today I finally asked someone to be my sponsor. I was afraid of being rejected, but she was so kind and welcoming. After the crazy dayyesterday, i realized I need to fully commit to this program, no more playing around, this is a life saving program, but as the saying goes, it works if you work it, and I am w...

Ms co-dependent · Ms co-dependent

I'm frustrated and agitated . My AH sober 6 months is driving me crazy!!!!! We had 2 good days, I decide to go out with daughter tonight and he starts with the questions. Why when you have to.. My stress level is beyond the roof , he wants to no if I would think it's ok if he went on a social sight that I was on. To...

katfshh · katfshh

This is an update to my previous post. I posted it on the other thread, but thought maybe that thread is too far down now. I guess my question is, am I letting my disease affect me right now? As you can see at the end of my post, he called me a name and now I feel bad. I don't want to send him an apology or start up t...

Findinghope · Findinghope

I thought it was going to be a good one, but I got caught off guard my my AH. We had plans to go see a concert outdoors tonight, and I took the bus I to work because he was supposed to meet me. Well, no big surprise here, but I just got a call about 10 minutes ago tag he doesn't want to go and had relapsed. (I don't ev...

gwenci · gwenci

my partner has been messing with stopping drinking on and off for 5 years, he has put at times a real effort into doing so, but previously he has always kidded himself that he is ok drinking and slowly it gets back out of control. last week he behaved terribly smashing some of the house up and hit me in front...

grateful2be · grateful2be

This week, I asked posters twice for feedback on family estrangement and feedback on whether or not to acknowledge my niece's wedding, my niece's graduation, and what I learned was actually two nephews graduating. On Friday, I followed up with what I intuited was God's will in my current circumst...

Tennin · Tennin

Hi All, My husband is in recovery and was my original qualifier and Alanon has been my lifesaver. My stepson is still using, we just kicked him out of the house (He's 19) because he wouldn't respect our wishes of NO USING IN THE HOUSE. My wish was no using period, but that's beside the point. The point is, h...

Pushka · Pushka

Well I had this little epiphany today .. I'm soooo grateful for the open AA meetings .. there are no weekend alanon meetings and these just remind me that first off I am dealing with a person under the disease and that it can get better for that person if they have HOW (honesty, open mindedness, willingn...

stillsad · stillsad

separated from my ex boyfriend six months ago, we lived together for 18 months, i had no idea he was an alcoholic, as i have never been exposed to this, i thought he was just a social drinker and enjoyed a few glasses at night and could handle his drinking....then things went into decline, he became short...

tortuga · tortuga

Hello family, after a long time...or so it feels. I have undertaken a home trip and when on another trip during that trip. Leaving some geographical distance between me and the place of little traumas I had over the past year with the A...it felt really amazingly free. I met old friends and family and wa...

LadyBug · LadyBug

So i had an issue today that i found out that my recent ex A was back to her usual ways and headed back with her ex before me. I was hurt, shocked, heartbroken! How dare she ! Didn't she know she was better than that! How dare she! Didn't she know how hard i had worked to help her get over that bitch! Didn't she kn...

hope4ever · hope4ever

I don't know what it is but after the meetings in my f2f groups I seem to be the one who doesn't have anyone to talk to. I keep asking myself what I am doing wrong? It hurts my feelings and I really try to make an effort to engage with people. I feel like people think I am boring or something and yet I am very ki...

sadsusie · sadsusie

I am back. No suprise, things didn't stay so great. My Huband decided to let a "friend" of his stay at our house for a couple of days (girlfriend problems). So dysfunctional. Anyway, he stayed for a couple of days...then the girlfriend would come over...the strategy was supposedly to get...

slogan_jim · slogan_jim

Hi everyone, my name is slogan_jim and I am a grateful member of al-anon. It's Victoria day weekend is Canada so we get Monday off work and I have no big plans but I look forward to a time of reflection. It was this weekend in 2010 that I walked into a meeting room and met Laura T. I had been attending open meet...

Green Eyes · Green Eyes

How To Plant Your Garden First, you Come to the garden alone, while the dew is still on the roses. FOR THE GARDEN OF YOUR DAILY LIVING , PLANT THREE ROWS OF PEAS: 1. Peace of mind 2. Peace of heart 3. Peace of soul PLANT FOUR ROWS OF SQUASH: 1. Squash gossip 2. Squash indifference 3. Squash grumbling 4. Sq...

ParisMemories · ParisMemories

I had an interesting revelation as I was thinking over my day just now. I find myself going back and forth with my AH. One minute I love him, the next minute I cannot wait to just file the divorce papers. It is exhausting. What I'm seeing in myself are my motives. When I act loving toward him, it is mostly in t...

katfshh · katfshh

I have a question. Off and on for the last year since my AF and I broke up, I have dated a friend, ex-boyfriend from High School. He even went on vacation with me and my son last summer as friends. He stayed in a cabin on the cruise with his two kids. I stayed in a different cabin with my son. Since that time, it n...

1976love · 1976love

Ugg. This weekend after being totally strong and not letting my AH actions get the better of me, it's settling in my soul today. For some reason everything I am touching is turning to crap. My car, my job, my sanity...pity party for one please??? I can't shake it today. totally negative thoughts a...

NCSUgeology · NCSUgeology

I'm venting about my cousin, whom I'm good friends with, so please excuse me. I don't know which is worse at this point, the dry-drunk or the wet drunk. Both are so freaking selfish and frustrating. The wet-drunk makes terrible decisions, doesn't do the things in life that need to be done (work, pay bil...

InspiredPhotography · InspiredPhotography

After months of trying to see our way through positive change. Which seemed to happen for about 5 months the disease reared its ugly head again. He threatened he was going to kill me (end me right there). I left with the girls on Sunday. I plan on moving further away. He blocked me from Facebook & hasn...

Pushka · Pushka

I can tell it's summer and Mr Crazy Pants (CP) is in full swing. The hotter the weather the nuttier the behavior. It's been hot to say the least already .. who knows what will go down by the end of the summer. Not living with it on the day to day basis .. boy when it comes up it's like WOW .. this is what I lived...

1976love · 1976love

What is it about A's and justifing there actions??? Like they miss there sons chorus concert because they are tired and just want a couple hours to thereselves (to drink but never stated)They say, "you know what I was like when you met me so if you don't like the money, house, cars I give you, you kn...

John · John

I don't want to minimize my own personal problems and life issues but my gosh, when I read the news or watch it on TV, and hear about someone being stabbed 29 times, their throat slit, and then shot in the face, and a bat shit crazy (mentally sick) woman facing the death penalty for it... or about 3 woman, ki...

Cathyinaz · Cathyinaz

Hi Everyone Well I don't if I'm doing this right but I'm sick and tired with my relationship. I'm tired of him spending anywhere between 600- 800, sometimes a thousand dollars a month just on STUFF. He's a spendaholic! He hates to even hear about money. In the past when I tried to tell him anything...

Jozie · Jozie

Hello My Al-anon Family... Sorry its been so long yet again, however seems life Keeps happening even when I'm Unprepared for it...Quick update... My Mom's 'Surprise'Retirement party that I worked on for 5wks went off in wonderful Fashion... She was "Clueless" all the way up till she wal...

Breakingfree · Breakingfree

The Dean of Nursing called me today to invite me to attend the full time Nursing program for the Fall semester 2013. Wow this last year of taking 10 classes in 2 semesters of general education sciences, psychology's and sociology's is over and now onto the program. Wow hard work pays off, the waiting l...

sandydv · sandydv

thanks for the welcoming into the group. This life is such a roller coaster when you live with a husband who drinks.He is a functioning alcoholic but an almost everyday after work, drinks by himself and usually gets high as well. Last night, again he was drinking. we went to bed i said to him, oh my god...

dponlyme · dponlyme

It was nothing mind blowing. I was nervous and felt out of place. It was a small group and they all knew each other very well. Was happy to see a couple of men but mostly ladies. Everyone was extremely friendly and welcoming. It was a birthday for one of the ladies- 17 years in alanon. After the meeting two o...

grateful2be · grateful2be

I posted recently asking for ESH when it comes to family estrangement apparent after my Dad's stroke a few years ago. I was hurting because I was the only one of my siblings and aunts and uncles not invited to my sister's oldest's wedding. When I went to visit Dad this weekend, I helped him get his mail ou...

willowtree · willowtree

When I am interacting with people I notice that I always focus on them and am a really good listener. I always want to make them happy and I revert the conversation back to them and I feel uncomfortable talking about myself. I think that I worry they are going to think I am talking about "me" t...

orchidlover · orchidlover

The ex A was fantastic in the beginning at knowing what to say that I wanted to hear. He spoke commitment, love and devotion early. Of coure he could also turn taht on again at certain times. Even in the middle of some hair brained scheme of his he could utter those magic words "us" "pla...

yanksfan51 · yanksfan51

Hi I have a feeling my posts will be more and more frequent at least up to June 1 moveout for AH. Just need to hear more about how he will be trying everything and anything to stop this from happening, that the only way my situation will change is if I change it, that this has been a theme for 20 yrs and time to h...

shalimar · shalimar

I am not sure how this message board works yet, but I really need to talk to some one. My husband is an alcoholic. He is great during the day, but our nights are really bad. We have a 15 year old son and this is really hard on him and I. I am so torn as to what to do. For the normal part of our life we are living a drea...

hotrod · hotrod

http://stepwork.activeboard.com/t53694731/alanon-step-4/-- Edited by hotrod on Wednesday 15th of May 2013 11:24:10 AM

Topic		Started By	Replies	Views	Last Post
	TUESDAY NIGHT MEETING 9PM (EST) - TOPIC: THE SLOGANS OF ALANON (Preview) TUESDAY NIGHT MEETING 9PM (EST) - TOPIC: THE SLOGANS OF ALANON Meeting scheduled in the al-anon chat room TOPICS are: KEEP COMING BACK, EASY DOES IT; HOW IMPORTANT IS IT? The group meeting room can be easily accessed by clicking on the link on the menu bar above the board. You can also join directly at h...	Kay356	0	251	May 22, 2013 by Kay356
	It's horrible (Preview) I called him this morn. He was quiet and listened. He says things will change, as far as his situation. I said for now I cannot do this. He was very sweet,gentle and asked me what he can do. Of course I told him I cannot make him change things. That is up to him. He wanted to call me tonight. I adamently said no...	Debilyn	9	624	May 22, 2013 by Jerry F
	Looking Forward to a Meeting Tonight (Preview) I am struggling today to keep my nose clean and looking forward to a meeting tonight. I know this is all triggered by a neurologist visit I had with my father...it is really looking like he is in one of the stages of Alzheimer's disease. I visited with him yesterday and watched him cry over and over agai...	PP	10	462	May 22, 2013 by Jerry F
	Working my program means working it everywhere. (Preview) I am noticing today that I am doing a good job using my alanon tools at home with my H. That is the good news. Peaceful night at home, staying focused on me, not being mean, all good. Now for the bad news. reflecting on my work day, i see that I was Miss Negativity in the office today. Finding the negative in...	ParisMemories	2	252	May 22, 2013 by Jerry F
	How does your garden grow? (Preview) Tonight, for the first time in 10 years, I planted my own vegetable garden. I started small - just some tomato plants (the little cherry ones I like so much) and some green chile. My uncle and his friend came and fixed my irrigation system several weeks ago so I've been sitting on go for some time. I have ha...	blondie99	13	448	May 22, 2013 by grateful2be
	Just weirdness... (Preview) Seems everyone has some level of weirdness about them.... Then one day two people meet each other whose weirdness is compatible... They hook up, express their weirdness with each other... And they call it LOVE. "hey babe, ya wanna check out my weirdness, I think we'd make a good weird match!" LMAO	John	14	448	May 22, 2013 by Jerry F
	dunno where to go from here... (Preview) well here i am,lost in my own mind. for 6 months my newlywed wife has had a drink problem. always was a big drinker because her mum and dad drink a lot but was never an alcoholic. we had our daughter in 2010 and got married sept 2012. even on our honey moon she was permenetly drunk. since xmas, iv been comin ho...	gavtrfc	7	472	May 22, 2013 by Jerry F
	saw this on TV and wanted to share (Preview) FYI: Beware of ppl with these characteristics Warning signs for meeting or trusting people 1) Arrogant entitlement 2) Lack of empathy 3) No remorse/guilt (may even brag about screwing other people over) 4) Irresponsible/self-destructive 5) Thrive on drama 6) Brag about outsmarting 7) Short-te...	sweeetr	3	222	May 22, 2013 by PP
	volcanic eruption (Preview) OK-Did you hear a volcano erupt yesterday? It was me. My A spouse finally joined a recovery group, and she even went to a meeting Sat. and Sun. She announced in the car yesterday, that she would go every other week. With everything I've learned I just could not help what happened. My adrenalin star...	Lyne	4	238	May 21, 2013 by Cathyinaz
	Share your experience, please. (Preview) My experience and healing process is leading me to ask a lot of very difficult questions. Thank you for letting me share. I am wondering - for all of you in marriages or relationships/partnerships with alcoholics - is abuse, in some form, a common element? I am examining myself, and the emotional/p...	KLotus	7	411	May 21, 2013 by el-cee
	In love with the co dependant of an AW (Preview) The situation has made me very sick. I go from deep depression back to sorta ok. Always having my serenity foundation. His situation is his, not mine. It has gotten where I just cannot face talking to him anymore. Or any communication. The thought just hurts. It's so very hard to stay away from him. But I...	Debilyn	12	608	May 21, 2013 by Aloha
	heads in a mess opinions please!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! (Preview) im sorry please look at my other old thread as ive added to it and i desprately need opinions please!	gwenci	4	373	May 21, 2013 by sweeetr
	I should no better by now!!! (Preview) How many times do I need to set myself up for failure. I can't hide anything with out the Ah finding it.. Again my accounts have been revealed. Why do I set my self up . Ah always seam to no everything I do. I give up on any sight for help.. It get found and then this set me back thinking I was going to get better ti...	Ms co-dependent	5	674	May 21, 2013 by el-cee
	Something positive? (Preview) My AH sent me a long text, nothing much different that what he's done in the past, all about how he is sorry, he loves me, he feels worthless, he is a f'ng loser, on and on, BUT (big but) in the text, he said, "I know you don't want to hear my pity party, but.." I nearly danced when I saw that. He may or...	ParisMemories	5	340	May 21, 2013 by ilovedogs
	Never ending mess within me (Preview) I have caught myself falling back into people pleasing which sacrifices me, I have been judgemental instead of minding what is in my own hoola hoop, I have been trying to control instead of letting go and letting God. I am struggling living in low income apartments surrounded by neighbors who are inv...	Breakingfree	8	430	May 20, 2013 by PP
	So....Anyone ever been banned from a bar? (Preview) Hi everyone, I got a call from my sister today who said she got a call from the owner of my alcoholic father's local watering hole. They are friends. Apparently my dad has been banned from drinking at the establishment. Since he's apparently gone off the wall. The owner is thinking of getting the police...	slogan_jim	15	642	May 20, 2013 by Cathyinaz
	Today, I let it begin with me :) (Preview) Hi everyone, My name is slogan_jim and I'd like to share on something neat that happened to me today. I've been going through some issues of loneliness lately and today was such a beautiful day outside that it was just to nice to let it go to waste. I began texting a bunch of friends and all were busy. I bega...	slogan_jim	7	572	May 20, 2013 by 1911A1
	I'm moving on (Preview) I have realized everything I'm learning about detaching from my son is now a new learning experience with my partner ( non A ). After a pretty bad exchange this week with him I found myself saying the serenity prayer over and over again but about him now. Some very sad and hurtful things were said to me, a...	Cathyinaz	11	631	May 20, 2013 by Debilyn
	Just sharing a song... (Preview) As the Asst. Director of Interfaith Hospitality Network here in Wilmington about 10 years ago, which caters to the needs of families with no place to live... I used this song with a video I created to present to local churches about homeless families with minor children, .. .just wanted to share it her...	John	2	230	May 20, 2013 by RoseODAT
	Divorcing, continued (Preview) I keep wanting to talk about my situation, my feelings, to get it out because I am stuck in my head and emotions. So much has been built up over the last 4 years of marriage. Now that I filed for divorce (3 months ago), and have a protection order, I thought I would find space to heal. Seemingly not happen...	KLotus	6	449	May 20, 2013 by Breakingfree
	realization (Preview) things will never change in my marriage, when Im the only one trying to recover/go through the program and I'm under attack (verbal) every night.. Apologies most the morning.. attack again in the evening ... He has broken every promise and crossed every boundary plus two ! I feel there is no other way...	sweeetr	8	412	May 20, 2013 by sweeetr
	operation love (Preview) I have a goal today. My ipod is broke. When you open an app it will click over to voice control or just turn the app I am using off...It's terrible for candy crush saga...getting it fixed today. I also have a somewhat personal problem...I'm down to one bra and underwear, who let's things get this bad, I...	1976love	4	266	May 20, 2013 by Ms S
	Lawyer today (Preview) Hi Everyone: Wow--in many ways I cannot believe this day is here, in others I can't believe it didn't come sooner, but I have been thinking that all of this has happened according to God's plan, so I'm going to continue to work on giving it all over to Him. My A will be moving out the first week of June. Our ki...	yanksfan51	10	335	May 20, 2013 by yanksfan51
	so grateful (Preview) I have had quite a time today keeping it together while my active drinking b/f has had a drink on - he's been hyper with it - singing and playing music, swearing and ranting. He's been saying all the things he can think to try to get me to react. I haven't reacted cos I know it's just the alcoholism but stil...	Ms S	6	289	May 20, 2013 by Ms S
	Overcome's MOM (Preview) Hi just wanted to let you know Overcome's mom fell this morning and is resting in the hospital. Asking for prayers for her and her mom. If u are friend's with her on facebook you can read more....	mercedes1959	7	271	May 20, 2013 by tiredtonite
	Having a bad day... (Preview) Having a rough day today. Discovered more lies from the AH, shouldn't be surprised by them...but I'm falling into all my old bad behaviors today. Discover the lie, confront, accuse, he clams up and says that when I get like this is when he wants to drink. I feel guilty, question myself, he leaves, I wor...	ParisMemories	7	312	May 20, 2013 by Ms S
	Progress (Preview) Today I finally asked someone to be my sponsor. I was afraid of being rejected, but she was so kind and welcoming. After the crazy dayyesterday, i realized I need to fully commit to this program, no more playing around, this is a life saving program, but as the saying goes, it works if you work it, and I am w...	ParisMemories	7	377	May 20, 2013 by Breakingfree
	Tired of defending myself (Preview) I'm frustrated and agitated . My AH sober 6 months is driving me crazy!!!!! We had 2 good days, I decide to go out with daughter tonight and he starts with the questions. Why when you have to.. My stress level is beyond the roof , he wants to no if I would think it's ok if he went on a social sight that I was on. To...	Ms co-dependent	14	608	May 19, 2013 by Ms S
	An update and I am questioning myself (Preview) This is an update to my previous post. I posted it on the other thread, but thought maybe that thread is too far down now. I guess my question is, am I letting my disease affect me right now? As you can see at the end of my post, he called me a name and now I feel bad. I don't want to send him an apology or start up t...	katfshh	7	325	May 19, 2013 by katfshh
	Crappy day (Preview) I thought it was going to be a good one, but I got caught off guard my my AH. We had plans to go see a concert outdoors tonight, and I took the bus I to work because he was supposed to meet me. Well, no big surprise here, but I just got a call about 10 minutes ago tag he doesn't want to go and had relapsed. (I don't ev...	Findinghope	8	317	May 19, 2013 by Pushka
	want to get back with my recovering alcoholic (Preview) my partner has been messing with stopping drinking on and off for 5 years, he has put at times a real effort into doing so, but previously he has always kidded himself that he is ok drinking and slowly it gets back out of control. last week he behaved terribly smashing some of the house up and hit me in front...	gwenci	10	418	May 19, 2013 by Pushka
	Update on intention/family (Preview) This week, I asked posters twice for feedback on family estrangement and feedback on whether or not to acknowledge my niece's wedding, my niece's graduation, and what I learned was actually two nephews graduating. On Friday, I followed up with what I intuited was God's will in my current circumst...	grateful2be	4	295	May 19, 2013 by grateful2be
	ESH Please (Preview) Hi All, My husband is in recovery and was my original qualifier and Alanon has been my lifesaver. My stepson is still using, we just kicked him out of the house (He's 19) because he wouldn't respect our wishes of NO USING IN THE HOUSE. My wish was no using period, but that's beside the point. The point is, h...	Tennin	8	287	May 19, 2013 by Cathyinaz
	Distance and perspective (Preview) Well I had this little epiphany today .. I'm soooo grateful for the open AA meetings .. there are no weekend alanon meetings and these just remind me that first off I am dealing with a person under the disease and that it can get better for that person if they have HOW (honesty, open mindedness, willingn...	Pushka	7	491	May 19, 2013 by Cathyinaz
	6 months apart and still feel sad (Preview) separated from my ex boyfriend six months ago, we lived together for 18 months, i had no idea he was an alcoholic, as i have never been exposed to this, i thought he was just a social drinker and enjoyed a few glasses at night and could handle his drinking....then things went into decline, he became short...	stillsad	7	334	May 19, 2013 by grateful2be
	setback, just when I stepped out in the light :-( (Preview) Hello family, after a long time...or so it feels. I have undertaken a home trip and when on another trip during that trip. Leaving some geographical distance between me and the place of little traumas I had over the past year with the A...it felt really amazingly free. I met old friends and family and wa...	tortuga	2	678	May 19, 2013 by Jerry F
	Mind your own business. (Preview) So i had an issue today that i found out that my recent ex A was back to her usual ways and headed back with her ex before me. I was hurt, shocked, heartbroken! How dare she ! Didn't she know she was better than that! How dare she! Didn't she know how hard i had worked to help her get over that bitch! Didn't she kn...	LadyBug	2	319	May 19, 2013 by LadyBug
	no one to talk to after meetings (Preview) I don't know what it is but after the meetings in my f2f groups I seem to be the one who doesn't have anyone to talk to. I keep asking myself what I am doing wrong? It hurts my feelings and I really try to make an effort to engage with people. I feel like people think I am boring or something and yet I am very ki...	hope4ever	8	274	May 19, 2013 by Jerry F
	alcoholic husband barely speaking to me and being disrspectful (Preview) I am back. No suprise, things didn't stay so great. My Huband decided to let a "friend" of his stay at our house for a couple of days (girlfriend problems). So dysfunctional. Anyway, he stayed for a couple of days...then the girlfriend would come over...the strategy was supposedly to get...	sadsusie	5	397	May 19, 2013 by sadsusie
	Getting my long weekend started/3-year al-anon anniversary (Preview) Hi everyone, my name is slogan_jim and I am a grateful member of al-anon. It's Victoria day weekend is Canada so we get Monday off work and I have no big plans but I look forward to a time of reflection. It was this weekend in 2010 that I walked into a meeting room and met Laura T. I had been attending open meet...	slogan_jim	4	218	May 18, 2013 by Temple
	The Garden of Daily Living (Preview) How To Plant Your Garden First, you Come to the garden alone, while the dew is still on the roses. FOR THE GARDEN OF YOUR DAILY LIVING , PLANT THREE ROWS OF PEAS: 1. Peace of mind 2. Peace of heart 3. Peace of soul PLANT FOUR ROWS OF SQUASH: 1. Squash gossip 2. Squash indifference 3. Squash grumbling 4. Sq...	Green Eyes	3	300	May 18, 2013 by ilovedogs
	Revelations on Love (Preview) I had an interesting revelation as I was thinking over my day just now. I find myself going back and forth with my AH. One minute I love him, the next minute I cannot wait to just file the divorce papers. It is exhausting. What I'm seeing in myself are my motives. When I act loving toward him, it is mostly in t...	ParisMemories	5	426	May 18, 2013 by KennyFenderjazz
	Am I dating another A? (Preview) I have a question. Off and on for the last year since my AF and I broke up, I have dated a friend, ex-boyfriend from High School. He even went on vacation with me and my son last summer as friends. He stayed in a cabin on the cruise with his two kids. I stayed in a different cabin with my son. Since that time, it n...	katfshh	9	509	May 18, 2013 by katfshh
	feeling like I am falling off the wagon. (Preview) Ugg. This weekend after being totally strong and not letting my AH actions get the better of me, it's settling in my soul today. For some reason everything I am touching is turning to crap. My car, my job, my sanity...pity party for one please??? I can't shake it today. totally negative thoughts a...	1976love	3	259	May 18, 2013 by ryanhearted
	Dry-Drunk vs Wet-Drunk (Preview) I'm venting about my cousin, whom I'm good friends with, so please excuse me. I don't know which is worse at this point, the dry-drunk or the wet drunk. Both are so freaking selfish and frustrating. The wet-drunk makes terrible decisions, doesn't do the things in life that need to be done (work, pay bil...	NCSUgeology	5	3830	May 18, 2013 by KennyFenderjazz
	I finally LEFT (Preview) After months of trying to see our way through positive change. Which seemed to happen for about 5 months the disease reared its ugly head again. He threatened he was going to kill me (end me right there). I left with the girls on Sunday. I plan on moving further away. He blocked me from Facebook & hasn...	InspiredPhotography	9	373	May 18, 2013 by InspiredPhotography
	Rough Day Yesterday kind of rough week .. (Preview) I can tell it's summer and Mr Crazy Pants (CP) is in full swing. The hotter the weather the nuttier the behavior. It's been hot to say the least already .. who knows what will go down by the end of the summer. Not living with it on the day to day basis .. boy when it comes up it's like WOW .. this is what I lived...	Pushka	8	422	May 18, 2013 by grateful2be
	quick question (Preview) What is it about A's and justifing there actions??? Like they miss there sons chorus concert because they are tired and just want a couple hours to thereselves (to drink but never stated)They say, "you know what I was like when you met me so if you don't like the money, house, cars I give you, you kn...	1976love	6	343	May 18, 2013 by grateful2be
	Travis Alexander, Amanda Berry (with two other capitives), Boston Bombing, Fertilizer Plant explosion, Texas Tornado's.. (Preview) I don't want to minimize my own personal problems and life issues but my gosh, when I read the news or watch it on TV, and hear about someone being stabbed 29 times, their throat slit, and then shot in the face, and a bat shit crazy (mentally sick) woman facing the death penalty for it... or about 3 woman, ki...	John	3	270	May 18, 2013 by PP
	A little scared today (Preview) Hi Everyone Well I don't if I'm doing this right but I'm sick and tired with my relationship. I'm tired of him spending anywhere between 600- 800, sometimes a thousand dollars a month just on STUFF. He's a spendaholic! He hates to even hear about money. In the past when I tried to tell him anything...	Cathyinaz	9	602	May 17, 2013 by ClearTheFog
	Prayers Needed Please... (Preview) Hello My Al-anon Family... Sorry its been so long yet again, however seems life Keeps happening even when I'm Unprepared for it...Quick update... My Mom's 'Surprise'Retirement party that I worked on for 5wks went off in wonderful Fashion... She was "Clueless" all the way up till she wal...	Jozie	5	337	May 17, 2013 by PP
	I got the call today I have been waiting for!!!!! (Preview) The Dean of Nursing called me today to invite me to attend the full time Nursing program for the Fall semester 2013. Wow this last year of taking 10 classes in 2 semesters of general education sciences, psychology's and sociology's is over and now onto the program. Wow hard work pays off, the waiting l...	Breakingfree	7	349	May 17, 2013 by Breakingfree
	thanks for the welcoming to the group, new here, such a roller coaster (Preview) thanks for the welcoming into the group. This life is such a roller coaster when you live with a husband who drinks.He is a functioning alcoholic but an almost everyday after work, drinks by himself and usually gets high as well. Last night, again he was drinking. we went to bed i said to him, oh my god...	sandydv	2	244	May 17, 2013 by Breakingfree
	1st face to face meeting (Preview) It was nothing mind blowing. I was nervous and felt out of place. It was a small group and they all knew each other very well. Was happy to see a couple of men but mostly ladies. Everyone was extremely friendly and welcoming. It was a birthday for one of the ladies- 17 years in alanon. After the meeting two o...	dponlyme	7	354	May 16, 2013 by Aloha
	Needing feedback on family issues, please (Preview) I posted recently asking for ESH when it comes to family estrangement apparent after my Dad's stroke a few years ago. I was hurting because I was the only one of my siblings and aunts and uncles not invited to my sister's oldest's wedding. When I went to visit Dad this weekend, I helped him get his mail ou...	grateful2be	4	488	May 16, 2013 by grateful2be
	Healthy conversations (Preview) When I am interacting with people I notice that I always focus on them and am a really good listener. I always want to make them happy and I revert the conversation back to them and I feel uncomfortable talking about myself. I think that I worry they are going to think I am talking about "me" t...	willowtree	3	285	May 16, 2013 by Jen61
	Being conned. Being around people who say exactly what you want to hear. (Preview) The ex A was fantastic in the beginning at knowing what to say that I wanted to hear. He spoke commitment, love and devotion early. Of coure he could also turn taht on again at certain times. Even in the middle of some hair brained scheme of his he could utter those magic words "us" "pla...	orchidlover	2	840	May 16, 2013 by MeTwo2
	throw the ESH at me everyone! (Preview) Hi I have a feeling my posts will be more and more frequent at least up to June 1 moveout for AH. Just need to hear more about how he will be trying everything and anything to stop this from happening, that the only way my situation will change is if I change it, that this has been a theme for 20 yrs and time to h...	yanksfan51	13	589	May 16, 2013 by grateful2be
	I am new here (Preview) I am not sure how this message board works yet, but I really need to talk to some one. My husband is an alcoholic. He is great during the day, but our nights are really bad. We have a 15 year old son and this is really hard on him and I. I am so torn as to what to do. For the normal part of our life we are living a drea...	shalimar	6	444	May 16, 2013 by slogan_jim
	Step Four (Preview) http://stepwork.activeboard.com/t53694731/alanon-step-4/-- Edited by hotrod on Wednesday 15th of May 2013 11:24:10 AM	hotrod	4	231	May 16, 2013 by ilovedogs
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The material presented here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method to exchange information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal level.