Al-Anon Family Group - Al-Anon Family Group

hope4ever · hope4ever

I don't know what it is but after the meetings in my f2f groups I seem to be the one who doesn't have anyone to talk to. I keep asking myself what I am doing wrong? It hurts my feelings and I really try to make an effort to engage with people. I feel like people think I am boring or something and yet I am very ki...

sadsusie · sadsusie

I am back. No suprise, things didn't stay so great. My Huband decided to let a "friend" of his stay at our house for a couple of days (girlfriend problems). So dysfunctional. Anyway, he stayed for a couple of days...then the girlfriend would come over...the strategy was supposedly to get...

slogan_jim · slogan_jim

Hi everyone, my name is slogan_jim and I am a grateful member of al-anon. It's Victoria day weekend is Canada so we get Monday off work and I have no big plans but I look forward to a time of reflection. It was this weekend in 2010 that I walked into a meeting room and met Laura T. I had been attending open meet...

Green Eyes · Green Eyes

How To Plant Your Garden First, you Come to the garden alone, while the dew is still on the roses. FOR THE GARDEN OF YOUR DAILY LIVING , PLANT THREE ROWS OF PEAS: 1. Peace of mind 2. Peace of heart 3. Peace of soul PLANT FOUR ROWS OF SQUASH: 1. Squash gossip 2. Squash indifference 3. Squash grumbling 4. Sq...

ParisMemories · ParisMemories

I had an interesting revelation as I was thinking over my day just now. I find myself going back and forth with my AH. One minute I love him, the next minute I cannot wait to just file the divorce papers. It is exhausting. What I'm seeing in myself are my motives. When I act loving toward him, it is mostly in t...

katfshh · katfshh

I have a question. Off and on for the last year since my AF and I broke up, I have dated a friend, ex-boyfriend from High School. He even went on vacation with me and my son last summer as friends. He stayed in a cabin on the cruise with his two kids. I stayed in a different cabin with my son. Since that time, it n...

1976love · 1976love

Ugg. This weekend after being totally strong and not letting my AH actions get the better of me, it's settling in my soul today. For some reason everything I am touching is turning to crap. My car, my job, my sanity...pity party for one please??? I can't shake it today. totally negative thoughts a...

NCSUgeology · NCSUgeology

I'm venting about my cousin, whom I'm good friends with, so please excuse me. I don't know which is worse at this point, the dry-drunk or the wet drunk. Both are so freaking selfish and frustrating. The wet-drunk makes terrible decisions, doesn't do the things in life that need to be done (work, pay bil...

InspiredPhotography · InspiredPhotography

After months of trying to see our way through positive change. Which seemed to happen for about 5 months the disease reared its ugly head again. He threatened he was going to kill me (end me right there). I left with the girls on Sunday. I plan on moving further away. He blocked me from Facebook & hasn...

Pushka · Pushka

I can tell it's summer and Mr Crazy Pants (CP) is in full swing. The hotter the weather the nuttier the behavior. It's been hot to say the least already .. who knows what will go down by the end of the summer. Not living with it on the day to day basis .. boy when it comes up it's like WOW .. this is what I lived...

1976love · 1976love

What is it about A's and justifing there actions??? Like they miss there sons chorus concert because they are tired and just want a couple hours to thereselves (to drink but never stated)They say, "you know what I was like when you met me so if you don't like the money, house, cars I give you, you kn...

John · John

I don't want to minimize my own personal problems and life issues but my gosh, when I read the news or watch it on TV, and hear about someone being stabbed 29 times, their throat slit, and then shot in the face, and a bat shit crazy (mentally sick) woman facing the death penalty for it... or about 3 woman, ki...

Cathyinaz · Cathyinaz

Hi Everyone Well I don't if I'm doing this right but I'm sick and tired with my relationship. I'm tired of him spending anywhere between 600- 800, sometimes a thousand dollars a month just on STUFF. He's a spendaholic! He hates to even hear about money. In the past when I tried to tell him anything...

Jozie · Jozie

Hello My Al-anon Family... Sorry its been so long yet again, however seems life Keeps happening even when I'm Unprepared for it...Quick update... My Mom's 'Surprise'Retirement party that I worked on for 5wks went off in wonderful Fashion... She was "Clueless" all the way up till she wal...

Breakingfree · Breakingfree

The Dean of Nursing called me today to invite me to attend the full time Nursing program for the Fall semester 2013. Wow this last year of taking 10 classes in 2 semesters of general education sciences, psychology's and sociology's is over and now onto the program. Wow hard work pays off, the waiting l...

sandydv · sandydv

thanks for the welcoming into the group. This life is such a roller coaster when you live with a husband who drinks.He is a functioning alcoholic but an almost everyday after work, drinks by himself and usually gets high as well. Last night, again he was drinking. we went to bed i said to him, oh my god...

dponlyme · dponlyme

It was nothing mind blowing. I was nervous and felt out of place. It was a small group and they all knew each other very well. Was happy to see a couple of men but mostly ladies. Everyone was extremely friendly and welcoming. It was a birthday for one of the ladies- 17 years in alanon. After the meeting two o...

grateful2be · grateful2be

I posted recently asking for ESH when it comes to family estrangement apparent after my Dad's stroke a few years ago. I was hurting because I was the only one of my siblings and aunts and uncles not invited to my sister's oldest's wedding. When I went to visit Dad this weekend, I helped him get his mail ou...

willowtree · willowtree

When I am interacting with people I notice that I always focus on them and am a really good listener. I always want to make them happy and I revert the conversation back to them and I feel uncomfortable talking about myself. I think that I worry they are going to think I am talking about "me" t...

orchidlover · orchidlover

The ex A was fantastic in the beginning at knowing what to say that I wanted to hear. He spoke commitment, love and devotion early. Of coure he could also turn taht on again at certain times. Even in the middle of some hair brained scheme of his he could utter those magic words "us" "pla...

yanksfan51 · yanksfan51

Hi I have a feeling my posts will be more and more frequent at least up to June 1 moveout for AH. Just need to hear more about how he will be trying everything and anything to stop this from happening, that the only way my situation will change is if I change it, that this has been a theme for 20 yrs and time to h...

shalimar · shalimar

I am not sure how this message board works yet, but I really need to talk to some one. My husband is an alcoholic. He is great during the day, but our nights are really bad. We have a 15 year old son and this is really hard on him and I. I am so torn as to what to do. For the normal part of our life we are living a drea...

hotrod · hotrod

http://stepwork.activeboard.com/t53694731/alanon-step-4/-- Edited by hotrod on Wednesday 15th of May 2013 11:24:10 AM

dponlyme · dponlyme

I read the latest responses to my last post. Jerry F. PP, Elcee and my first inclination was that it made me a little angry. Especially yours PP. But then I thought about it and realized that you were just being honest with me and it just happened to be something I didn't want to hear. No I suppose I'm not alr...

Cathyinaz · Cathyinaz

Wow.....not even 24 hours after getting out of Detox........he's drinking and calls me to boot. Anyways.......I had a great time tonight at my Woman's Group meeting. PS: I don't know why I posted this. I guess I was a little upset him calling me in the middle of the night accusing me of coming into h...

John · John

Just sat here reading some post this morning... Wow, someone else asked for support and I read the replies to them and it supported me! What a great way to start this day! Things are going well on my end for the most part. Nothing is happening outside of the space of the imaginary whoola hoop around my wa...

rookie95 · rookie95

My ABF has been home from rehab for 24 hours and I have already accused him of drinking again. I found an empty water bottle in the garage while getting my son's toys out this afternoon. The water bottle is the way that he used to drink his vodka on the train on the way home from work. He swears that it was l...

White Rabbit · White Rabbit

I just read a post from Glad Lee talking about triangulation - it hit home, but I didn't want to hijack the thread so I'm starting my own. Triangulation ... where one family member will not communicate directly with another family member regarding an issue, but will instead communicate with a third fa...

hope4ever · hope4ever

I am so happy that I found a sponsor last night!! :) I have been asking my HP to reveal someone to me who would be a better fit for me than the last woman I had. This lady is in both programs, she has a sponsor, she has done the steps, and she is a really positive and warm person (I needed to find a sponsor who I fe...

phoenixmagicgirl · phoenixmagicgirl

2 years ago my AM was attacked by a man who was/is mentally ill. She dealt with PTSD for several months before seeking help with a PTSD therapist (to me there's nothing more disturbing than hearing your mom waking up scared because she's having flashbacks..it haunts me) and I'm so proud of her for doing...

daisy31 · daisy31

I just needed to write here on this board. It seems lately my childhood issues are popping up and I am feeling really sad and lonely. I notice that I use a couple of facebook groups to fill the void. I always feel like I am really supportive to others on the 2 groups that I am in but others really don't sup...

sandydv · sandydv

New here, kind of at the end of my rope, tired of living this life with an alcoholic husband (who also smokes pot). Hes a functioning alcoholic, but so tired of it, tired of coming home every day to someone either high or drunk, tired of having a conversation or making plans with him which is either forg...

pillarofstrength0706 · pillarofstrength0706

I'm new to al anon. My 6 mo sober AH is working working on his steps and will be soon making amends. I am most scared of more confessions of his infidelity. I know that it happened under my nose while I was with my kids in another room. I don't know if I can handle going back wards and learning more truth. Am I al...

dponlyme · dponlyme

I don't know what to think... my brain is scrambled. I blew up today and said some terrible things to her today. Gave her a real big dose of her own medicine. I know it wasnt right but it felt so good at the time. I told her she should kill herself and then asked her how that feels coming from the person that is s...

Aloha · Aloha

I've mentioned in response to another person's share that I've been going through some upheavals at my job lately. There are a select number of employees who've taken it badly and are acting out. I'm real grateful for my Al-Anon program, or I'd be jumping in and joining the crazy dance they're doing: p...

willowtree · willowtree

Hello all, I am in a small online group of about 20 ladies on yahoo and I have noticed a pattern of ladies who are posting their problems and are looking for support. It started out being fun and we talked about positive things and such and then really quickly it has changed to a now co-dependant pattern....

ParisMemories · ParisMemories

My AH is going to a daily AA meeting, and has for just over a month. Today is day 14 of no alcohol for him. We are getting along better, not arguing. We are far from perfect though. I am trying to LetGo and Let God, but some moments I just want to scream. I want so much for him to find the peace and joy of recovery,...

oldergal · oldergal

So is it my business when workers all have the same hours but some of them come in late, or go home early or taker longer breaks..the boss doesnt see them, but I do because I am centrally located. I try not to pay attention and just do my work, but then on the other hand is this fair, or am I from the old school an...

Pushka · Pushka

LOL .. I don't know why .. it's so funny or ironic in a not funny ha ha kind of way, .. the need for self validation when I keep looking for it outside. I want other people to tell me I'm ok .. when .. I go back to it's none of my business what other people think of me. If I want validation I gotta seek it out inside...

KLotus · KLotus

I filed this Winter. I obtained a protection order. He is fighting me on custody of our 3 year old. I am giving him back his house, and moving into a 2 bedroom apartment with my mother and child. I am afraid - because I feel I still love him. We cannot contact each other right now, due to the protection o...

dponlyme · dponlyme

I read the latest responses to my last post. Jerry F. PP, Elcee and my first inclination was that it made me a little angry. Especially yours PP. But then I thought about it and realized that you were just being honest with me and it just happened to be something I didn't want to hear. No I suppose I'm not alr...

Halo · Halo

Well I have found how I keep myself busy!Write short stories. Here is my first one(well second the first was to persoanl)! If you take the time to read it let me know what you think. The First Visit to Rehab I almost did not want to go. Maybe it was the 3.5 hour drive; maybe it was that I was fearful he would be t...

orchidlover · orchidlover

I have not been to this board for quite a while. A lot has been going on in my life and I am working on not being reactive (which really did sink me) and having lots of boundaries. Lately I have been having real issues with a friend of mine. He is a good friend. He has been"there" for me. I think...

rookie95 · rookie95

Today is the day that my ABF comes home from rehab. His mother is picking him up around 11 am EDT, and I think they are going back to her house. I know he wants to come back here and live with me and my son...and I told him that he could, only if he stayed sober. I told him that my first priority is my son and mys...

dponlyme · dponlyme

Sleeping on the floor again, not because she's drunk but because I can't stand to be next to her. The other night when she was drinking I came out to sleep on the floor to get away from her but around 5am she got up and came out to harass me. It came fairly close to physical blows... she was intrusive of my pers...

Breakingfree · Breakingfree

I made sure to add some A.A. references and Al-anon information for family members and I obviously didn't have a hard time writing this paper. Once I got going I was so glad to be able to bring awareness to my class especially where I live, this county is a very big drinking community. So I feel I did my part...

WorkingThroughIt · WorkingThroughIt

Hi y'all. Went to an open Alanon meeting yesterday (probably my 12th one) and while I enjoy being around all the kind people it doesn't feel completely right. Then last night went to an Alanon adult children meeting and that felt much better. i don't have an alcoholic child or spouse but as the daughte...

yanksfan51 · yanksfan51

Hi Everybody: I am giving myself daily reminders that no matter what AH says, or what he says he will do, or what he says he'll never do again, I have to stick to the June 1 date which in he words, is like a ticking time bomb. He does not want to leave, is leaving against his will, I am forcing him out of his own f...

Photophreak · Photophreak

I am a newly sober drunk. I was sober for a few years and relapsed. As did my Husband. He is still drinking. I have never been to Alanon as we were both sober. I do know what In need to do. But am scared. Thanks

tiredtonite · tiredtonite

This is my first mother's day since my mom's death. It's been a half year now and this week Im going to her house to gather memories and things and say good-bye to my childhood home. My brother has been distant for many years and I've missed him. My mother gave him authority to settle her estate. I'm pr...

1976love · 1976love

Thank God I have a place like this to come to and vent. I do much better writing than expressing my feelings verbally and here I know it's safe and others understand. So since my AH was selfish enough to throw away 5 months of being sober because he doesn't like the thoughts that go on in his head without d...

el-cee · el-cee

My faith and hope is waning a bit. My son, 20, who is currently homeless has not been in touch for a few days and my doubts are creeping in. I wont let him stay with me for a few reasons that right now in my mind I keep countering with doubts. 1. He abuses drink and drugs - so does most young people where I live. Ho...

grateful2be · grateful2be

Hello. I need some feedback/E/S/H inre familial estrangement. Have or do any of the posters discovered themselves alienated from siblings (heavy drinkers) after the death or severe illness of a parent? About 5 years ago, my Dad(the remaining parent to my 9 siblings and me) suffered a stroke w...

Hoot Nanny · Hoot Nanny

Even though my mom is still alive, I struggle w/ mom's day because of my situation. I have bipolar disorder & basically can't have children. This is my problem: I am not very happy not having children especially on significant days like yesterday. I know that I probably " shouldn't" ha...

Lyne · Lyne

So I asked my spouse to get into recovery-AA, OA, or GA-she actually qualifies for all of them. I wrote it in an email sent to her CASAC and herself. Am I still controlling? I told her it is the only way to keep the marriage, but of course the choice is her's. She has chosen OA. I have given up checking up...

KLotus · KLotus

TODAY I found a letter and some paperwork from when my AH was in rehab for 30 days (a few years ago) - He was talking about how I was right to separate from him, how he was angry with himself, how he needed to change, and how he wanted to grow old together. What a struggle this was for me! At the exact moment wh...

Cathyinaz · Cathyinaz

I'm crying because I'm happy and sad all in one. I just got off the phone with my son. He admitted himself to Community Bridges Detox Center a couple of days ago after getting out of the hospital. Cut his face open and has a black eye. He called to wish me a Happy Mothers Day and that he loved me. He also wish...

wildrosejmj · wildrosejmj

Or, do you know of online support for those who are there caretakers? I'm trying to gather information and, like with anything, the more you read, the more questions you get sometimes. DH isn't at the point of repeating himself or anything yet, but has a host of other symptoms. As I don't anticipate...

lgnutah · lgnutah

Used to be I'd be promised she would come, but then would get a late afternoon call saying she wasn't coming after all because she had worked late and went out afterwards and was "too tired" to make the 2 hr drive..... Today not even a call (she doesn't work anymore, so it's probably just the &q...

Green Eyes · Green Eyes

I Skyped today with my daughter and her family who live in Texas and had dinner tonight with my other daughter and her fiance. And spent the daytime today with my mom. I feel very blessed but it was the first time ever that I did not hear from my youngest daughter, my AD. It was been almost 4 months now and my h...

Topic		Started By	Replies	Views	Last Post
	no one to talk to after meetings (Preview) I don't know what it is but after the meetings in my f2f groups I seem to be the one who doesn't have anyone to talk to. I keep asking myself what I am doing wrong? It hurts my feelings and I really try to make an effort to engage with people. I feel like people think I am boring or something and yet I am very ki...	hope4ever	8	248	May 19, 2013 by Jerry F
	alcoholic husband barely speaking to me and being disrspectful (Preview) I am back. No suprise, things didn't stay so great. My Huband decided to let a "friend" of his stay at our house for a couple of days (girlfriend problems). So dysfunctional. Anyway, he stayed for a couple of days...then the girlfriend would come over...the strategy was supposedly to get...	sadsusie	5	373	May 19, 2013 by sadsusie
	Getting my long weekend started/3-year al-anon anniversary (Preview) Hi everyone, my name is slogan_jim and I am a grateful member of al-anon. It's Victoria day weekend is Canada so we get Monday off work and I have no big plans but I look forward to a time of reflection. It was this weekend in 2010 that I walked into a meeting room and met Laura T. I had been attending open meet...	slogan_jim	4	194	May 18, 2013 by Temple
	The Garden of Daily Living (Preview) How To Plant Your Garden First, you Come to the garden alone, while the dew is still on the roses. FOR THE GARDEN OF YOUR DAILY LIVING , PLANT THREE ROWS OF PEAS: 1. Peace of mind 2. Peace of heart 3. Peace of soul PLANT FOUR ROWS OF SQUASH: 1. Squash gossip 2. Squash indifference 3. Squash grumbling 4. Sq...	Green Eyes	3	269	May 18, 2013 by ilovedogs
	Revelations on Love (Preview) I had an interesting revelation as I was thinking over my day just now. I find myself going back and forth with my AH. One minute I love him, the next minute I cannot wait to just file the divorce papers. It is exhausting. What I'm seeing in myself are my motives. When I act loving toward him, it is mostly in t...	ParisMemories	5	401	May 18, 2013 by KennyFenderjazz
	Am I dating another A? (Preview) I have a question. Off and on for the last year since my AF and I broke up, I have dated a friend, ex-boyfriend from High School. He even went on vacation with me and my son last summer as friends. He stayed in a cabin on the cruise with his two kids. I stayed in a different cabin with my son. Since that time, it n...	katfshh	9	459	May 18, 2013 by katfshh
	feeling like I am falling off the wagon. (Preview) Ugg. This weekend after being totally strong and not letting my AH actions get the better of me, it's settling in my soul today. For some reason everything I am touching is turning to crap. My car, my job, my sanity...pity party for one please??? I can't shake it today. totally negative thoughts a...	1976love	3	235	May 18, 2013 by ryanhearted
	Dry-Drunk vs Wet-Drunk (Preview) I'm venting about my cousin, whom I'm good friends with, so please excuse me. I don't know which is worse at this point, the dry-drunk or the wet drunk. Both are so freaking selfish and frustrating. The wet-drunk makes terrible decisions, doesn't do the things in life that need to be done (work, pay bil...	NCSUgeology	5	3639	May 18, 2013 by KennyFenderjazz
	I finally LEFT (Preview) After months of trying to see our way through positive change. Which seemed to happen for about 5 months the disease reared its ugly head again. He threatened he was going to kill me (end me right there). I left with the girls on Sunday. I plan on moving further away. He blocked me from Facebook & hasn...	InspiredPhotography	9	349	May 18, 2013 by InspiredPhotography
	Rough Day Yesterday kind of rough week .. (Preview) I can tell it's summer and Mr Crazy Pants (CP) is in full swing. The hotter the weather the nuttier the behavior. It's been hot to say the least already .. who knows what will go down by the end of the summer. Not living with it on the day to day basis .. boy when it comes up it's like WOW .. this is what I lived...	Pushka	8	398	May 18, 2013 by grateful2be
	quick question (Preview) What is it about A's and justifing there actions??? Like they miss there sons chorus concert because they are tired and just want a couple hours to thereselves (to drink but never stated)They say, "you know what I was like when you met me so if you don't like the money, house, cars I give you, you kn...	1976love	6	317	May 18, 2013 by grateful2be
	Travis Alexander, Amanda Berry (with two other capitives), Boston Bombing, Fertilizer Plant explosion, Texas Tornado's.. (Preview) I don't want to minimize my own personal problems and life issues but my gosh, when I read the news or watch it on TV, and hear about someone being stabbed 29 times, their throat slit, and then shot in the face, and a bat shit crazy (mentally sick) woman facing the death penalty for it... or about 3 woman, ki...	John	3	246	May 18, 2013 by PP
	A little scared today (Preview) Hi Everyone Well I don't if I'm doing this right but I'm sick and tired with my relationship. I'm tired of him spending anywhere between 600- 800, sometimes a thousand dollars a month just on STUFF. He's a spendaholic! He hates to even hear about money. In the past when I tried to tell him anything...	Cathyinaz	9	573	May 17, 2013 by ClearTheFog
	Prayers Needed Please... (Preview) Hello My Al-anon Family... Sorry its been so long yet again, however seems life Keeps happening even when I'm Unprepared for it...Quick update... My Mom's 'Surprise'Retirement party that I worked on for 5wks went off in wonderful Fashion... She was "Clueless" all the way up till she wal...	Jozie	5	312	May 17, 2013 by PP
	I got the call today I have been waiting for!!!!! (Preview) The Dean of Nursing called me today to invite me to attend the full time Nursing program for the Fall semester 2013. Wow this last year of taking 10 classes in 2 semesters of general education sciences, psychology's and sociology's is over and now onto the program. Wow hard work pays off, the waiting l...	Breakingfree	7	325	May 17, 2013 by Breakingfree
	thanks for the welcoming to the group, new here, such a roller coaster (Preview) thanks for the welcoming into the group. This life is such a roller coaster when you live with a husband who drinks.He is a functioning alcoholic but an almost everyday after work, drinks by himself and usually gets high as well. Last night, again he was drinking. we went to bed i said to him, oh my god...	sandydv	2	220	May 17, 2013 by Breakingfree
	1st face to face meeting (Preview) It was nothing mind blowing. I was nervous and felt out of place. It was a small group and they all knew each other very well. Was happy to see a couple of men but mostly ladies. Everyone was extremely friendly and welcoming. It was a birthday for one of the ladies- 17 years in alanon. After the meeting two o...	dponlyme	7	330	May 16, 2013 by Aloha
	Needing feedback on family issues, please (Preview) I posted recently asking for ESH when it comes to family estrangement apparent after my Dad's stroke a few years ago. I was hurting because I was the only one of my siblings and aunts and uncles not invited to my sister's oldest's wedding. When I went to visit Dad this weekend, I helped him get his mail ou...	grateful2be	4	463	May 16, 2013 by grateful2be
	Healthy conversations (Preview) When I am interacting with people I notice that I always focus on them and am a really good listener. I always want to make them happy and I revert the conversation back to them and I feel uncomfortable talking about myself. I think that I worry they are going to think I am talking about "me" t...	willowtree	3	261	May 16, 2013 by Jen61
	Being conned. Being around people who say exactly what you want to hear. (Preview) The ex A was fantastic in the beginning at knowing what to say that I wanted to hear. He spoke commitment, love and devotion early. Of coure he could also turn taht on again at certain times. Even in the middle of some hair brained scheme of his he could utter those magic words "us" "pla...	orchidlover	2	816	May 16, 2013 by MeTwo2
	throw the ESH at me everyone! (Preview) Hi I have a feeling my posts will be more and more frequent at least up to June 1 moveout for AH. Just need to hear more about how he will be trying everything and anything to stop this from happening, that the only way my situation will change is if I change it, that this has been a theme for 20 yrs and time to h...	yanksfan51	13	562	May 16, 2013 by grateful2be
	I am new here (Preview) I am not sure how this message board works yet, but I really need to talk to some one. My husband is an alcoholic. He is great during the day, but our nights are really bad. We have a 15 year old son and this is really hard on him and I. I am so torn as to what to do. For the normal part of our life we are living a drea...	shalimar	6	420	May 16, 2013 by slogan_jim
	Step Four (Preview) http://stepwork.activeboard.com/t53694731/alanon-step-4/-- Edited by hotrod on Wednesday 15th of May 2013 11:24:10 AM	hotrod	4	206	May 16, 2013 by ilovedogs
	Support and making changes and insanity and f2f meetings (Preview) I read the latest responses to my last post. Jerry F. PP, Elcee and my first inclination was that it made me a little angry. Especially yours PP. But then I thought about it and realized that you were just being honest with me and it just happened to be something I didn't want to hear. No I suppose I'm not alr...	dponlyme	8	293	May 16, 2013 by dponlyme
	He's drinking (Preview) Wow.....not even 24 hours after getting out of Detox........he's drinking and calls me to boot. Anyways.......I had a great time tonight at my Woman's Group meeting. PS: I don't know why I posted this. I guess I was a little upset him calling me in the middle of the night accusing me of coming into h...	Cathyinaz	16	597	May 16, 2013 by Auntyaya
	Good Morning Everyone! (Preview) Just sat here reading some post this morning... Wow, someone else asked for support and I read the replies to them and it supported me! What a great way to start this day! Things are going well on my end for the most part. Nothing is happening outside of the space of the imaginary whoola hoop around my wa...	John	4	243	May 16, 2013 by bud
	Feeling Low (Preview) My ABF has been home from rehab for 24 hours and I have already accused him of drinking again. I found an empty water bottle in the garage while getting my son's toys out this afternoon. The water bottle is the way that he used to drink his vodka on the train on the way home from work. He swears that it was l...	rookie95	9	400	May 16, 2013 by ParisMemories
	Triangulation and dysfunction (Preview) I just read a post from Glad Lee talking about triangulation - it hit home, but I didn't want to hijack the thread so I'm starting my own. Triangulation ... where one family member will not communicate directly with another family member regarding an issue, but will instead communicate with a third fa...	White Rabbit	6	4942	May 15, 2013 by Jessica1111
	Yey! I found a sponsor last night! :) (Preview) I am so happy that I found a sponsor last night!! :) I have been asking my HP to reveal someone to me who would be a better fit for me than the last woman I had. This lady is in both programs, she has a sponsor, she has done the steps, and she is a really positive and warm person (I needed to find a sponsor who I fe...	hope4ever	2	260	May 15, 2013 by ilovedogs
	PTSD and drinking..dealing with my AM (Preview) 2 years ago my AM was attacked by a man who was/is mentally ill. She dealt with PTSD for several months before seeking help with a PTSD therapist (to me there's nothing more disturbing than hearing your mom waking up scared because she's having flashbacks..it haunts me) and I'm so proud of her for doing...	phoenixmagicgirl	5	476	May 15, 2013 by Cathyinaz
	I'm struggling today (Preview) I just needed to write here on this board. It seems lately my childhood issues are popping up and I am feeling really sad and lonely. I notice that I use a couple of facebook groups to fill the void. I always feel like I am really supportive to others on the 2 groups that I am in but others really don't sup...	daisy31	8	308	May 15, 2013 by daisy31
	Help, new here, living with an alcoholic is so hard to deal with. (Preview) New here, kind of at the end of my rope, tired of living this life with an alcoholic husband (who also smokes pot). Hes a functioning alcoholic, but so tired of it, tired of coming home every day to someone either high or drunk, tired of having a conversation or making plans with him which is either forg...	sandydv	4	324	May 15, 2013 by dponlyme
	amends (Preview) I'm new to al anon. My 6 mo sober AH is working working on his steps and will be soon making amends. I am most scared of more confessions of his infidelity. I know that it happened under my nose while I was with my kids in another room. I don't know if I can handle going back wards and learning more truth. Am I al...	pillarofstrength0706	2	237	May 15, 2013 by Jerry F
	Big blow up with AW today (Preview) I don't know what to think... my brain is scrambled. I blew up today and said some terrible things to her today. Gave her a real big dose of her own medicine. I know it wasnt right but it felt so good at the time. I told her she should kill herself and then asked her how that feels coming from the person that is s...	dponlyme	13	617	May 15, 2013 by giraffe13
	Observing scared, sabotaging behaviors (Preview) I've mentioned in response to another person's share that I've been going through some upheavals at my job lately. There are a select number of employees who've taken it badly and are acting out. I'm real grateful for my Al-Anon program, or I'd be jumping in and joining the crazy dance they're doing: p...	Aloha	3	287	May 15, 2013 by bud
	Is this co-dependant? (Preview) Hello all, I am in a small online group of about 20 ladies on yahoo and I have noticed a pattern of ladies who are posting their problems and are looking for support. It started out being fun and we talked about positive things and such and then really quickly it has changed to a now co-dependant pattern....	willowtree	4	488	May 14, 2013 by Jerry F
	Patience (Preview) My AH is going to a daily AA meeting, and has for just over a month. Today is day 14 of no alcohol for him. We are getting along better, not arguing. We are far from perfect though. I am trying to LetGo and Let God, but some moments I just want to scream. I want so much for him to find the peace and joy of recovery,...	ParisMemories	6	351	May 15, 2013 by Cathyinaz
	Have a problem with co-workers (Preview) So is it my business when workers all have the same hours but some of them come in late, or go home early or taker longer breaks..the boss doesnt see them, but I do because I am centrally located. I try not to pay attention and just do my work, but then on the other hand is this fair, or am I from the old school an...	oldergal	12	658	May 15, 2013 by orchidlover
	Validation, Validation, Validation .. (Preview) LOL .. I don't know why .. it's so funny or ironic in a not funny ha ha kind of way, .. the need for self validation when I keep looking for it outside. I want other people to tell me I'm ok .. when .. I go back to it's none of my business what other people think of me. If I want validation I gotta seek it out inside...	Pushka	6	353	May 15, 2013 by orchidlover
	The choice to, and process of, divorcing the alcholic (Preview) I filed this Winter. I obtained a protection order. He is fighting me on custody of our 3 year old. I am giving him back his house, and moving into a 2 bedroom apartment with my mother and child. I am afraid - because I feel I still love him. We cannot contact each other right now, due to the protection o...	KLotus	8	308	May 15, 2013 by orchidlover
	Support and making changes and insanity and f2f meetings (Preview) I read the latest responses to my last post. Jerry F. PP, Elcee and my first inclination was that it made me a little angry. Especially yours PP. But then I thought about it and realized that you were just being honest with me and it just happened to be something I didn't want to hear. No I suppose I'm not alr...	dponlyme	2	197	May 15, 2013 by dponlyme
	Warning its long. (Preview) Well I have found how I keep myself busy!Write short stories. Here is my first one(well second the first was to persoanl)! If you take the time to read it let me know what you think. The First Visit to Rehab I almost did not want to go. Maybe it was the 3.5 hour drive; maybe it was that I was fearful he would be t...	Halo	3	217	May 15, 2013 by orchidlover
	controlling behavior (Preview) I have not been to this board for quite a while. A lot has been going on in my life and I am working on not being reactive (which really did sink me) and having lots of boundaries. Lately I have been having real issues with a friend of mine. He is a good friend. He has been"there" for me. I think...	orchidlover	7	306	May 15, 2013 by orchidlover
	Today Is The Day (Preview) Today is the day that my ABF comes home from rehab. His mother is picking him up around 11 am EDT, and I think they are going back to her house. I know he wants to come back here and live with me and my son...and I told him that he could, only if he stayed sober. I told him that my first priority is my son and mys...	rookie95	7	239	May 15, 2013 by rookie95
	AW abusive physically and verbally (Preview) Sleeping on the floor again, not because she's drunk but because I can't stand to be next to her. The other night when she was drinking I came out to sleep on the floor to get away from her but around 5am she got up and came out to harass me. It came fairly close to physical blows... she was intrusive of my pers...	dponlyme	11	407	May 15, 2013 by giraffe13
	My last school paper for the year was on alcoholism (Preview) I made sure to add some A.A. references and Al-anon information for family members and I obviously didn't have a hard time writing this paper. Once I got going I was so glad to be able to bring awareness to my class especially where I live, this county is a very big drinking community. So I feel I did my part...	Breakingfree	7	267	May 14, 2013 by Peggy7
	Feeling a lot better (Preview) Hi y'all. Went to an open Alanon meeting yesterday (probably my 12th one) and while I enjoy being around all the kind people it doesn't feel completely right. Then last night went to an Alanon adult children meeting and that felt much better. i don't have an alcoholic child or spouse but as the daughte...	WorkingThroughIt	4	230	May 14, 2013 by Breakingfree
	moveout getting closer, climate is intense (Preview) Hi Everybody: I am giving myself daily reminders that no matter what AH says, or what he says he will do, or what he says he'll never do again, I have to stick to the June 1 date which in he words, is like a ticking time bomb. He does not want to leave, is leaving against his will, I am forcing him out of his own f...	yanksfan51	7	438	May 14, 2013 by Cathyinaz
	New here (Preview) I am a newly sober drunk. I was sober for a few years and relapsed. As did my Husband. He is still drinking. I have never been to Alanon as we were both sober. I do know what In need to do. But am scared. Thanks	Photophreak	3	171	May 14, 2013 by PP
	Working on acceptance (Preview) This is my first mother's day since my mom's death. It's been a half year now and this week Im going to her house to gather memories and things and say good-bye to my childhood home. My brother has been distant for many years and I've missed him. My mother gave him authority to settle her estate. I'm pr...	tiredtonite	3	188	May 14, 2013 by tiredtonite
	frustrated (Preview) Thank God I have a place like this to come to and vent. I do much better writing than expressing my feelings verbally and here I know it's safe and others understand. So since my AH was selfish enough to throw away 5 months of being sober because he doesn't like the thoughts that go on in his head without d...	1976love	4	219	May 14, 2013 by ParisMemories
	How do you know your doing the right thing? (Preview) My faith and hope is waning a bit. My son, 20, who is currently homeless has not been in touch for a few days and my doubts are creeping in. I wont let him stay with me for a few reasons that right now in my mind I keep countering with doubts. 1. He abuses drink and drugs - so does most young people where I live. Ho...	el-cee	14	394	May 14, 2013 by grateful2be
	Questions inre familial estrangement (Preview) Hello. I need some feedback/E/S/H inre familial estrangement. Have or do any of the posters discovered themselves alienated from siblings (heavy drinkers) after the death or severe illness of a parent? About 5 years ago, my Dad(the remaining parent to my 9 siblings and me) suffered a stroke w...	grateful2be	11	337	May 14, 2013 by grateful2be
	sometimes mom's day is hard (Preview) Even though my mom is still alive, I struggle w/ mom's day because of my situation. I have bipolar disorder & basically can't have children. This is my problem: I am not very happy not having children especially on significant days like yesterday. I know that I probably " shouldn't" ha...	Hoot Nanny	1	221	May 14, 2013 by slogan_jim
	suggestion, not ultimatum (Preview) So I asked my spouse to get into recovery-AA, OA, or GA-she actually qualifies for all of them. I wrote it in an email sent to her CASAC and herself. Am I still controlling? I told her it is the only way to keep the marriage, but of course the choice is her's. She has chosen OA. I have given up checking up...	Lyne	6	500	May 13, 2013 by Mattie
	Need strength (Preview) TODAY I found a letter and some paperwork from when my AH was in rehab for 30 days (a few years ago) - He was talking about how I was right to separate from him, how he was angry with himself, how he needed to change, and how he wanted to grow old together. What a struggle this was for me! At the exact moment wh...	KLotus	9	265	May 13, 2013 by Breakingfree
	I got a Call for Mothers Day (Preview) I'm crying because I'm happy and sad all in one. I just got off the phone with my son. He admitted himself to Community Bridges Detox Center a couple of days ago after getting out of the hospital. Cut his face open and has a black eye. He called to wish me a Happy Mothers Day and that he loved me. He also wish...	Cathyinaz	8	433	May 13, 2013 by el-cee
	Has anyone here dealt with alcohol related dementia? (Preview) Or, do you know of online support for those who are there caretakers? I'm trying to gather information and, like with anything, the more you read, the more questions you get sometimes. DH isn't at the point of repeating himself or anything yet, but has a host of other symptoms. As I don't anticipate...	wildrosejmj	5	604	May 13, 2013 by wildrosejmj
	I ddn't get a call/card/visit from AD for Mothers Day (Preview) Used to be I'd be promised she would come, but then would get a late afternoon call saying she wasn't coming after all because she had worked late and went out afterwards and was "too tired" to make the 2 hr drive..... Today not even a call (she doesn't work anymore, so it's probably just the &q...	lgnutah	3	263	May 13, 2013 by PP
	Good Day/ Not So Good Day (Preview) I Skyped today with my daughter and her family who live in Texas and had dinner tonight with my other daughter and her fiance. And spent the daytime today with my mom. I feel very blessed but it was the first time ever that I did not hear from my youngest daughter, my AD. It was been almost 4 months now and my h...	Green Eyes	4	303	May 13, 2013 by Pushka
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The material presented here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method to exchange information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal level.