Al-Anon Family Group - Al-Anon Family Group

el-cee · el-cee

Listening to this saying from old timers in alanon has never meant that much to me before. Living life on lifes terms!! I am getting it though. I think it means accepting people for who they are and not what we want them to be. Not really having expectations of anyone. For example, my son had some money tod...

Clou · Clou

It has taken over 10 years, but I accept that I am powerless over alcoholism and my life is unmanageable. Being married to my AH for over 32 years, and accepting some very unacceptable behavior the last ten years, has taken quite a toll on my life. 10 years ago I organized an intervention for my AH. I th...

Mattie · Mattie

I am trying to use my tools but the situation is getting too much for me -- like using a spoon when you're trying to bail out a sinking boat. Since I've been separated from my A for a number of years now, he's no longer drinking around me, which is excellent. But I'm still paying the price for the fact that I c...

oldergal · oldergal

FOR STINKIN THINKIN!! ONE THAT MOST PEOPLE COULD UNDERSTAND....LOVE TO HEAR IT, THANKS

SpiderArcana · SpiderArcana

I've found a disturbing pattern in myself - as soon as anything at all might be wrong, I start thinking the worst, and working myself up to the point that I'm thinking about divorce. My husband called, but I didn't have a chance to talk to him. He was upset, said it had to do with work. Of course, now I'...

Wisdom67 · Wisdom67

Today is Monday I do know that. My Ahs found a job with a huge cut in pay and has to commute close to 2 hours to work. I'm very depressed lost my Sponser due to her own trouble at home, I manage to lose 3 more friends well they really weren't friends because they all had strings attached to them. I know how to sor...

wornoutmrsfixit · wornoutmrsfixit

I just set my appointment with the attorney to file for divorce. God works in mysterious ways and I prayed for clear vision to see what I needed to see and hear what I needed to hear and boy did he listen. I am proceeding as if AH wasn't sober and no looking back. He is the same controlling, "don't ques...

WorkingThroughIt · WorkingThroughIt

As I become more familiar with Alanon I have heard a few people talk about the "Adult Child movement." On Friday night a man in my group said it happened in the 80s or 90s in Alanon (I forget which.) He said a lot of people in Alanon were upset about it because they don't want to look at their o...

Green Eyes · Green Eyes

So I was talking to one of my long-timer Al-Anon friends yesterday and she informed me that I use sarcasm too much and that it's really a defense mechanism that many of us in Al-Anon use due to being around the alcoholics in our lives. She suggested that I look up the word, "sarcasm," in the Al-...

ilovedogs · ilovedogs

Not sure how I'm going to clean up this mess! My AH got in last night and claims he had a spiritual awakening. He suggested doing a daily devotional together, just out of the blue(it was the first words he basically spoke to me in the past 2 months). I told him I needed to think about it, and then....thin...

Jerry F · Jerry F

Mahalo MIP family for your unconditional love and support in "Sucky, sick feelings" the acceptance allowed me to inventory the event and my part in it and at first I questioned my intentions because it seem no appropriate in subject matter however the inventory reveals the core nature...

Earthmamajenny · Earthmamajenny

Hi...this is my first post here. I haven't been to a meeting in awhile...cause I'm sooo good at detachment when my alcoholic is practicing sobriety....just kidding/poking fun at myself....I've needed to go and have let it slide. I'm currently out of town and my husband stayed home to take care of the...

sadsusie · sadsusie

I guess I should start by saying that it is my..well..lets just say I am hyper emotional. My AH who verbally abused me for 10 years, then got into drugs and hanging out with thugs and being out all night, who then went to Rehab for 20 days..and came out a hugely different person. Treats me differently tri...

Gaby · Gaby

Well today I woke up with an appetite ( which is not the normal fore ). But I woke up better then yesterday. I reached out to my son last night and all I asked was "are you ok, that is all I want to know" well his response was "yes". That was all. Next week the holiday will be here and if thi...

Lyne · Lyne

Thanks to all who supported me in appreciating the blessings I have. And once I gave up my little pity party, I figured out if all were willing, that we could have Thanksgiving dinner on the Sunday after Thanksgiving. They all agreed! This is a blessing. Getting rid of negative makes room for posit...

Minibee · Minibee

Hi i am a 44 year old adult child of an alcoholic father. He drank from before I was born, I left home at 18, I have not had contact with him for more than 12 years. My mum lived with him for 27 years, had 4 children, left him when I was 27. She lives near me. My two sisters are in contact with us and are 4 to 5 hours aw...

Jerry F · Jerry F

This is about seeing the humor in things rather than the critizism. I have a business and one of my clients is a small hotel in Hilo. My office is it's gardens and property and I am beyond blessed. Sometimes the blessing are humor which comes in strange confusing ways. I was clearing the leaves ou...

el-cee · el-cee

My son, the son who takes after his A father in so many ways, including a problem with alcohol has been living with his friend and his family and staying with me from time to time also. I finally set a few boundaries around him since Alanon and they have helped protect me from my ex and now my sons destructiv...

Kent · Kent

I am a recovering alcoholic in AA with 3.5 years of sobriety. I went to a few al-anon meetings with my then girlfriend (now my wife) prior to getting sober. My wife had been a devoted member of al-anon for more than ten years, but since the birth of our son almost two years ago she has been to maybe five me...

slogan_jim · slogan_jim

I am half-way through reading 'The Complete ACOA Sourcebook; at home, at work and in love' by Janet Geringer Woititz. In reading that book I have learned that;My behaviours and self-image is based on the stories that I absorbed growing up. There was much inconsistency in the messages that I was being...

John · John

I have a glass top coffee table and under the glass I have many recovery related books. AA. Al-Anon, NA, Coda, ACoA. As I was looking through the glass this morning, I thought, "Grab one, randomly open it and share a paragraph from the page that is opened". I reached under the table, let my hand fumble...

Gaby · Gaby

Well my son and I have had very little communication. I know he is in a dark place. I have to fully surrender and give god his child that he blessed me with. I pray and pray and have hope my son gets back on the saddle to sobriety.. I truly have to take care of me. I am praying for strength .. I can't do no more for m...

Jerry F · Jerry F

and I've survived it. Aloha Family...just recently got back from a "meet the commanders" meeting at the police department. This is the third time the first two with a different focus. This one was standing up for me as a Hawaiian National who was assaulted by the police. I went for the...

neshema2 · neshema2

This is a picture of my "mama" Aunt Helen...Maternal Aunt...She is in a nursing home now, going down that spiral that Alzheimer's takes our loved ones down....Do they know they are sick?? Do they really know that life is ebbing away, slowly, inexorably??? I think they do.....I think they...

John · John

If you used mIRC in the Thursday night meeting and have it set to log the activity (chat) in the room, please let me know, I need a copy of Thursday nights meeting on Step Three. Or just send it to me at johnfreifeld@gmail.com. I didn't know until this morning that my mIRC settings were not logging the me...

John · John

Hi Everyone, I literally hate having to post this stuff but each year our bills come due again for the MIP site. The domain name registration, the web hosting, message boards, etc, cost money. If you can make a donation that will help offset some of the expense it would be gratefully appreciated. T...

ilovedogs · ilovedogs

Hi all, my AH comes home from a missions trip to Haiti tomorrow. I will be picking him up from the airport late. I am working on having no expectations from this trip of his. He has contacted me via text a few times, but nothing earth shattering, LOL. I am very ready to move on with my life and I am afraid t...

Lyne · Lyne

OK, so I can't have Thanksgiving dinner with my son and his family because they are eating with his in-laws this year. I was just writing to my sponsor. Yes, I can choose to have a pity party, poor me, and a big boo hoo. Life is so unfair! And then my alanon brain kicked in and I am so lucky to have a son I am...

Mattie · Mattie

I am in a coffee shop where I often hang out. It's on the edge of a sketchy area of town and sometimes homeless people and panhandlers come in. You know what I mean -- unkempt, torn and dirty clothing, hair that hasn't been washed or combed in weeks, and so on. Just now I saw a homeless person approaching...

Tasha · Tasha

.... to screw in a light bulb????? None. They detach with love and let it screw itself.

1lostmom · 1lostmom

Hi, I'm new here, and I wanted to share my story and get some support. I was a good kid. I grew up in a very nice neighborhood, my mom stayed at home with my siblings and I, and my dad was a teacher. I could find things to complain about, but in the greater scheme that is life, I had a relatively easy childho...

SerenityRUS · SerenityRUS

It's my birthday .. goooo me! I was reflecting on the past two years today and the changes that have come either from outside forces or just because it was time. What has changed .. a LOT! What hasn't changed .. a LOT! I had to laugh to myself. Let's see this all started 2 years ago (well longer however...

Buford · Buford

Hello, i am new to this forum. I am in a long distance relationship with a recovering addict, who joined NA 6 months into our relationship. We've been together about a year and a half. Today, she told me that she is going to a "dance party" (rave) to see how it makes her feel. She says she is prepa...

Gaby · Gaby

I am hurting do much. I texted my son and he usually responds right away. I feel something is wrong. I just don't want to know. I am praying every minute for both he and I. I am falling back to my depression. I just need some support. I love my son but I can't help him if he is not ready. How after 5 months of recov...

Debilyn · Debilyn

for the loving parents of A children

Raven Juniper · Raven Juniper

Today didn't get off to such a great start. I've been having a hard time getting myself together in the mornings, especially with the weather getting really cold where I live. I have thyroid disease and adrenal fatigue that I'm newly learning to self treat, for lack of funds and a doctor who will liste...

Melly1248 · Melly1248

Frequently of an afternoon, we walk down to the local park and daughter and I sit on the swings, swinging and talking about this n that, while the dog runs around sniffing things and then peeing on them, and every few minutes he runs over to stare sideways at us for a while, because he just doesn't underst...

SerenityRUS · SerenityRUS

I had to delete my account abruptly because I think it became compromised I'm hoping that enough time, new name and new email address will do the trick. I have been a lurker and reading daily for my dose of the wise people on these boards. Things are going good .. I'm still married .. probably will be fo...

Melly1248 · Melly1248

Sigh, ABF came home from work 5 hours early today and stomped off to his room "I DON'T want to talk"... I sensed something more than the usual hangover/tantrum was going on and I was right; he eventually opened up and I won't go into details but it turns out he's being bullied quite horribly at...

alexmaui · alexmaui

I have a family court order of protection against my husband. I filed citing his harassment after months of calls to my cell phone voice mail and to my work place I never felt physically threatened. But his constant calls to, my job-- up to 12 times a day--- began to affect my co-workers and how I was v...

wifeofalcoholic · wifeofalcoholic

I have read much on the subject of detachment. How much can you detach while living under the same roof. My AH is asleep snoring on the couch when I come in from work. If he wakes up he is repeating himself or telling stories that don't make sense. Like many on this board, I have been married for many yea...

John · John

Hi Everyone, I literally hate having to post this stuff but each year our bills come due again for the MIP site. The domain name registration, the web hosting, message boards, etc, cost money. If you can make a donation that will help offset some of the expense it would be gratefully appreciated. T...

oldergal · oldergal

My friend the counselor tells me he discourages addicts in recovery from setting too many goals. How do people get better, then? I wondered. He explains they create new habits by focusing on short-term outcomes they can control. The point is the process, not the finish line. My son in recovery (with...

Mari1978 · Mari1978

I am trying not to get myself concerned with what others may think. I blew it. A has not been home and apparently staying in his vehicle because I told him he couldn't stay in the home if he was still communicating with the girl he got involved with. I really am not sure of anything but can feel that nagging...

Gaby · Gaby

It is hard to except what we can not control. I wish there was something just one more thing I can do for my son. I have had to stay away from my own home so I would not look down the street to see if he is home himself. This mental break down took me to a very dark place. I hear that my son is using but I can not contro...

ParisMemories · ParisMemories

Today everything my AH says has made me irritated. He is not drinking, he is just being who he is. But everything has gotten on my nerves. I realize I just need to let it go. I missed my meeting yesterday, and this is the consequence. I am angry and frustrated. Full of resentment about things I thought I had...

pinkchip · pinkchip

I didn't get the meds I wanted so I'm leaving! (Hrmmm. Drug seeking behavior in rehab. Heck yeah). I can use the phone when I want so I am leaving! (God forbid you have extra focus on getting sober) I didn't come here for this! ("this" being anything other than sobriety) I thought this place...

Living in the Calm · Living in the Calm

This is my first time on here. I'm not really sure where this post will go so I will just start with my story - My wife and I have been together for 3 years - had our union in March. I always knew she had an addictive personality and I guess I just always gave excuses. "Oh we are young we are suppose to dr...

sadsusie · sadsusie

I know that we should remember to keep the focus on ourselves, that it is essential to our recovery. Very essential. It is dreadfully easy for alcoholic seems to steal away our joy, peace, and serenity. Focusing on ourselves is necessary to restore those things into our lifewe need to refill the leaky...

Cathyinaz · Cathyinaz

Today I'm not feeling up to par. I've been sick off and on for a couple of weeks now. I think it's all in my head

My son has made a couple of temps to contact me ( when in a sober state somewhat ) but I have not responded at all. I'm still weak and it would give him the opportunity to get to my weakness e...

Lyne · Lyne

So I am on steps 4-5 and find this a learning and difficult experience. I shared something I did with my sponsor that I have carried shame and regret for, for over 30 years. I have not admitted it to another human being, only to God. I'm not sure what I expected my sponsor to do-scold me, agree what I did w...

PP · PP

About a month ago I ended my relationship with my sponsor. It was a thoughtful decision after much prayer and counsel. I was clear it was the best decision for me. It was difficult for me to do but I thought I had handled it (through a phone call) in a way that was gentle, kind and clean with, what I believ...

likemyheart · likemyheart

I drive school bus and have threatened to arrange my kids, all ages, into seats that I know they won't like, if they cannot control their behavior - I'm tired of having to holler the same things over and over and careening down the freeway at 55 mph with semi's passing is no place for me to have to be discipl...

Melly1248 · Melly1248

It's amazing how far-reaching the stuff I learn here is. My ex AH (and I am for all intents and purposes his ex AW) has been in my thoughts tonight. Some years ago we went overseas to stay with his parents for a time. We ended up moving into our own flat and living there for a couple of years and during that tim...

breamanic665 · breamanic665

how can i briefly explain? probably not possible to do so, so I'll try to sum up. I knew my bf was an alcoholic from the start, but he had been working towards cutting down and living a healthier life even when we were just friends. he was one of my very best friends, and i didn't expect we would fall in love b...

Wisdom67 · Wisdom67

Hello everyone , I am ok today my A found a job my dr are not charging me co pays given my health status and free samples have been provided this is for sure to know my higher power see that I'm working hard to change me and given myself over to him and return he given me my path to recovery , this is something I co...

milkwood · milkwood

I've been feeling cranky all week, reaching a point where I felt completely down in the dumps. Thanks to lots of reading, mostly here, it was at least an opportunity to see my grizzly thinking in action Then in an effort to feel a bit more positive about myself I suggested doing a lunch for a friend who i...

Medi · Medi

Where to start.... I have separated from my AH 2 months ago and trying my best to get on with my life, while caring for our 2 young girls, working, doing the household...etc. The last 2 months have been an emotional roller coaster, some days I am fine, other days I feel depressed. I feel I can manage (just)...

PP · PP

I would like prayers today for the strength to work my program while I watch my husband relapsing into his addictive thoughts. To my awareness, he has not picked up substances, but he has picked up the stinking thinking. He has his tools and I have mine. I know I cannot and will not do this alone....th...

bijela · bijela

I have been having a very difficult time. I have been having lots of flashbacks from past abuse and assaults. It has gotten to the point that I see every male as a threat to my safety. I know it's logically stupid, but I've been having nightmares really bad and not sleeping. I've blocked more people from F...

Topic		Started By	Replies	Views	Last Post
	Life on life's terms (Preview) Listening to this saying from old timers in alanon has never meant that much to me before. Living life on lifes terms!! I am getting it though. I think it means accepting people for who they are and not what we want them to be. Not really having expectations of anyone. For example, my son had some money tod...	el-cee	8	1265	Nov 26, 2013 by el-cee
	Acceptance and looking forward to the next chapter (Preview) It has taken over 10 years, but I accept that I am powerless over alcoholism and my life is unmanageable. Being married to my AH for over 32 years, and accepting some very unacceptable behavior the last ten years, has taken quite a toll on my life. 10 years ago I organized an intervention for my AH. I th...	Clou	7	350	Nov 26, 2013 by PP
	Things are not going well (Preview) I am trying to use my tools but the situation is getting too much for me -- like using a spoon when you're trying to bail out a sinking boat. Since I've been separated from my A for a number of years now, he's no longer drinking around me, which is excellent. But I'm still paying the price for the fact that I c...	Mattie	13	550	Nov 26, 2013 by rehprof
	DOES ANYONE HAVE A GOOD DESCRIPTION (Preview) FOR STINKIN THINKIN!! ONE THAT MOST PEOPLE COULD UNDERSTAND....LOVE TO HEAR IT, THANKS	oldergal	13	825	Nov 26, 2013 by ClearTheFog
	Running for the hills (Preview) I've found a disturbing pattern in myself - as soon as anything at all might be wrong, I start thinking the worst, and working myself up to the point that I'm thinking about divorce. My husband called, but I didn't have a chance to talk to him. He was upset, said it had to do with work. Of course, now I'...	SpiderArcana	3	251	Nov 25, 2013 by grateful2be
	Update;;(( (Preview) Today is Monday I do know that. My Ahs found a job with a huge cut in pay and has to commute close to 2 hours to work. I'm very depressed lost my Sponser due to her own trouble at home, I manage to lose 3 more friends well they really weren't friends because they all had strings attached to them. I know how to sor...	Wisdom67	3	202	Nov 26, 2013 by PP
	Limbo Is Over (Preview) I just set my appointment with the attorney to file for divorce. God works in mysterious ways and I prayed for clear vision to see what I needed to see and hear what I needed to hear and boy did he listen. I am proceeding as if AH wasn't sober and no looking back. He is the same controlling, "don't ques...	wornoutmrsfixit	10	479	Nov 25, 2013 by ilovedogs
	The "Adult Child Movement" (Preview) As I become more familiar with Alanon I have heard a few people talk about the "Adult Child movement." On Friday night a man in my group said it happened in the 80s or 90s in Alanon (I forget which.) He said a lot of people in Alanon were upset about it because they don't want to look at their o...	WorkingThroughIt	17	1302	Nov 25, 2013 by WorkingThroughIt
	Is Sarcasm Really a Shortcoming? (Preview) So I was talking to one of my long-timer Al-Anon friends yesterday and she informed me that I use sarcasm too much and that it's really a defense mechanism that many of us in Al-Anon use due to being around the alcoholics in our lives. She suggested that I look up the word, "sarcasm," in the Al-...	Green Eyes	17	3745	Nov 25, 2013 by Green Eyes
	I made a mess! (Preview) Not sure how I'm going to clean up this mess! My AH got in last night and claims he had a spiritual awakening. He suggested doing a daily devotional together, just out of the blue(it was the first words he basically spoke to me in the past 2 months). I told him I needed to think about it, and then....thin...	ilovedogs	24	803	Nov 25, 2013 by SerenityRUS
	Gratitude... (Preview) Mahalo MIP family for your unconditional love and support in "Sucky, sick feelings" the acceptance allowed me to inventory the event and my part in it and at first I questioned my intentions because it seem no appropriate in subject matter however the inventory reveals the core nature...	Jerry F	7	425	Nov 25, 2013 by tiredtonite
	Suspect relapse (Preview) Hi...this is my first post here. I haven't been to a meeting in awhile...cause I'm sooo good at detachment when my alcoholic is practicing sobriety....just kidding/poking fun at myself....I've needed to go and have let it slide. I'm currently out of town and my husband stayed home to take care of the...	Earthmamajenny	4	343	Nov 25, 2013 by grateful2be
	OH My Gosh I am in the middle of a BREAKDOWN! (Preview) I guess I should start by saying that it is my..well..lets just say I am hyper emotional. My AH who verbally abused me for 10 years, then got into drugs and hanging out with thugs and being out all night, who then went to Rehab for 20 days..and came out a hugely different person. Treats me differently tri...	sadsusie	7	434	Nov 24, 2013 by grateful2be
	Good morning.. (Preview) Well today I woke up with an appetite ( which is not the normal fore ). But I woke up better then yesterday. I reached out to my son last night and all I asked was "are you ok, that is all I want to know" well his response was "yes". That was all. Next week the holiday will be here and if thi...	Gaby	2	229	Nov 25, 2013 by SerenityRUS
	Thanksgiving update (Preview) Thanks to all who supported me in appreciating the blessings I have. And once I gave up my little pity party, I figured out if all were willing, that we could have Thanksgiving dinner on the Sunday after Thanksgiving. They all agreed! This is a blessing. Getting rid of negative makes room for posit...	Lyne	6	242	Nov 25, 2013 by grateful2be
	my non alcoholic mum is turning into the alcoholic in my life ....help adult child critical parent help (Preview) Hi i am a 44 year old adult child of an alcoholic father. He drank from before I was born, I left home at 18, I have not had contact with him for more than 12 years. My mum lived with him for 27 years, had 4 children, left him when I was 27. She lives near me. My two sisters are in contact with us and are 4 to 5 hours aw...	Minibee	3	6497	Nov 24, 2013 by Minibee
	Leaf Blowing.... (Preview) This is about seeing the humor in things rather than the critizism. I have a business and one of my clients is a small hotel in Hilo. My office is it's gardens and property and I am beyond blessed. Sometimes the blessing are humor which comes in strange confusing ways. I was clearing the leaves ou...	Jerry F	19	526	Nov 24, 2013 by Tasha
	Oh, well this is a new situation!!! (Preview) My son, the son who takes after his A father in so many ways, including a problem with alcohol has been living with his friend and his family and staying with me from time to time also. I finally set a few boundaries around him since Alanon and they have helped protect me from my ex and now my sons destructiv...	el-cee	9	547	Nov 24, 2013 by oldergal
	In need of some perspective from "the other side of the fence" (Preview) I am a recovering alcoholic in AA with 3.5 years of sobriety. I went to a few al-anon meetings with my then girlfriend (now my wife) prior to getting sober. My wife had been a devoted member of al-anon for more than ten years, but since the birth of our son almost two years ago she has been to maybe five me...	Kent	13	641	Nov 24, 2013 by Kent
	Read a book. I get myself so much better now (summary) (Preview) I am half-way through reading 'The Complete ACOA Sourcebook; at home, at work and in love' by Janet Geringer Woititz. In reading that book I have learned that;My behaviours and self-image is based on the stories that I absorbed growing up. There was much inconsistency in the messages that I was being...	slogan_jim	10	461	Nov 24, 2013 by pinkchip
	This Mornings Reading... (Preview) I have a glass top coffee table and under the glass I have many recovery related books. AA. Al-Anon, NA, Coda, ACoA. As I was looking through the glass this morning, I thought, "Grab one, randomly open it and share a paragraph from the page that is opened". I reached under the table, let my hand fumble...	John	6	475	Nov 24, 2013 by DavidG
	Holidays ;( (Preview) Well my son and I have had very little communication. I know he is in a dark place. I have to fully surrender and give god his child that he blessed me with. I pray and pray and have hope my son gets back on the saddle to sobriety.. I truly have to take care of me. I am praying for strength .. I can't do no more for m...	Gaby	5	345	Nov 24, 2013 by grateful2be
	Sucky...sick feelings (Preview) and I've survived it. Aloha Family...just recently got back from a "meet the commanders" meeting at the police department. This is the third time the first two with a different focus. This one was standing up for me as a Hawaiian National who was assaulted by the police. I went for the...	Jerry F	11	529	Nov 24, 2013 by el-cee
	its detachment time again..... (Preview) This is a picture of my "mama" Aunt Helen...Maternal Aunt...She is in a nursing home now, going down that spiral that Alzheimer's takes our loved ones down....Do they know they are sick?? Do they really know that life is ebbing away, slowly, inexorably??? I think they do.....I think they...	neshema2	8	424	Nov 24, 2013 by grateful2be
	Does anyone have the log of Thursday nites meeting? Topic Step 3?? (Preview) If you used mIRC in the Thursday night meeting and have it set to log the activity (chat) in the room, please let me know, I need a copy of Thursday nights meeting on Step Three. Or just send it to me at johnfreifeld@gmail.com. I didn't know until this morning that my mIRC settings were not logging the me...	John	0	232	Nov 23, 2013 by John
	Donation/Contribution Sign is Lite Again (Repost) (Preview) Hi Everyone, I literally hate having to post this stuff but each year our bills come due again for the MIP site. The domain name registration, the web hosting, message boards, etc, cost money. If you can make a donation that will help offset some of the expense it would be gratefully appreciated. T...	John	1	274	Nov 23, 2013 by PP
	Need support (Preview) Hi all, my AH comes home from a missions trip to Haiti tomorrow. I will be picking him up from the airport late. I am working on having no expectations from this trip of his. He has contacted me via text a few times, but nothing earth shattering, LOL. I am very ready to move on with my life and I am afraid t...	ilovedogs	14	507	Nov 23, 2013 by John
	growing up in alanon (Preview) OK, so I can't have Thanksgiving dinner with my son and his family because they are eating with his in-laws this year. I was just writing to my sponsor. Yes, I can choose to have a pity party, poor me, and a big boo hoo. Life is so unfair! And then my alanon brain kicked in and I am so lucky to have a son I am...	Lyne	8	204	Nov 23, 2013 by el-cee
	They never change! (Funny) (Preview) I am in a coffee shop where I often hang out. It's on the edge of a sketchy area of town and sometimes homeless people and panhandlers come in. You know what I mean -- unkempt, torn and dirty clothing, hair that hasn't been washed or combed in weeks, and so on. Just now I saw a homeless person approaching...	Mattie	11	443	Nov 22, 2013 by flinn66
	How many alanons does it take... (Preview) .... to screw in a light bulb????? None. They detach with love and let it screw itself.	Tasha	9	684	Nov 22, 2013 by Melly1248
	New here- my story and disappointment (Preview) Hi, I'm new here, and I wanted to share my story and get some support. I was a good kid. I grew up in a very nice neighborhood, my mom stayed at home with my siblings and I, and my dad was a teacher. I could find things to complain about, but in the greater scheme that is life, I had a relatively easy childho...	1lostmom	6	476	Nov 22, 2013 by Mari1978
	Neither here nor there .. (Preview) It's my birthday .. goooo me! I was reflecting on the past two years today and the changes that have come either from outside forces or just because it was time. What has changed .. a LOT! What hasn't changed .. a LOT! I had to laugh to myself. Let's see this all started 2 years ago (well longer however...	SerenityRUS	9	334	Nov 22, 2013 by ilovedogs
	SO in recovery going to a rave (Preview) Hello, i am new to this forum. I am in a long distance relationship with a recovering addict, who joined NA 6 months into our relationship. We've been together about a year and a half. Today, she told me that she is going to a "dance party" (rave) to see how it makes her feel. She says she is prepa...	Buford	31	743	Nov 22, 2013 by grateful2be
	Not in a good place right now.. (Preview) I am hurting do much. I texted my son and he usually responds right away. I feel something is wrong. I just don't want to know. I am praying every minute for both he and I. I am falling back to my depression. I just need some support. I love my son but I can't help him if he is not ready. How after 5 months of recov...	Gaby	13	490	Nov 22, 2013 by pinkchip
	a true quote... (Preview) for the loving parents of A children	Debilyn	9	526	Nov 22, 2013 by Raven Juniper
	Guilty feelings are here again. (Preview) Today didn't get off to such a great start. I've been having a hard time getting myself together in the mornings, especially with the weather getting really cold where I live. I have thyroid disease and adrenal fatigue that I'm newly learning to self treat, for lack of funds and a doctor who will liste...	Raven Juniper	12	534	Nov 22, 2013 by Raven Juniper
	Lessons by dog. (Preview) Frequently of an afternoon, we walk down to the local park and daughter and I sit on the swings, swinging and talking about this n that, while the dog runs around sniffing things and then peeing on them, and every few minutes he runs over to stare sideways at us for a while, because he just doesn't underst...	Melly1248	7	352	Nov 22, 2013 by Tasha
	Back back back :) (Preview) I had to delete my account abruptly because I think it became compromised I'm hoping that enough time, new name and new email address will do the trick. I have been a lurker and reading daily for my dose of the wise people on these boards. Things are going good .. I'm still married .. probably will be fo...	SerenityRUS	9	601	Nov 22, 2013 by Green Eyes
	On a less happy note.. (Preview) Sigh, ABF came home from work 5 hours early today and stomped off to his room "I DON'T want to talk"... I sensed something more than the usual hangover/tantrum was going on and I was right; he eventually opened up and I won't go into details but it turns out he's being bullied quite horribly at...	Melly1248	23	693	Nov 22, 2013 by wp
	violation of an order of protection (Preview) I have a family court order of protection against my husband. I filed citing his harassment after months of calls to my cell phone voice mail and to my work place I never felt physically threatened. But his constant calls to, my job-- up to 12 times a day--- began to affect my co-workers and how I was v...	alexmaui	9	394	Nov 21, 2013 by SerenityRUS
	How Do You Detach While Living Together? (Preview) I have read much on the subject of detachment. How much can you detach while living under the same roof. My AH is asleep snoring on the couch when I come in from work. If he wakes up he is repeating himself or telling stories that don't make sense. Like many on this board, I have been married for many yea...	wifeofalcoholic	8	1238	Nov 21, 2013 by Cathyinaz
	Donation/Contribution Sign is Lite Again (Preview) Hi Everyone, I literally hate having to post this stuff but each year our bills come due again for the MIP site. The domain name registration, the web hosting, message boards, etc, cost money. If you can make a donation that will help offset some of the expense it would be gratefully appreciated. T...	John	23	568	Nov 21, 2013 by Jill
	A share about creating new habits (Preview) My friend the counselor tells me he discourages addicts in recovery from setting too many goals. How do people get better, then? I wondered. He explains they create new habits by focusing on short-term outcomes they can control. The point is the process, not the finish line. My son in recovery (with...	oldergal	2	250	Nov 21, 2013 by PP
	Moment of weakness (Preview) I am trying not to get myself concerned with what others may think. I blew it. A has not been home and apparently staying in his vehicle because I told him he couldn't stay in the home if he was still communicating with the girl he got involved with. I really am not sure of anything but can feel that nagging...	Mari1978	14	561	Nov 21, 2013 by Theoceancalls
	Very Emotional.. (Preview) It is hard to except what we can not control. I wish there was something just one more thing I can do for my son. I have had to stay away from my own home so I would not look down the street to see if he is home himself. This mental break down took me to a very dark place. I hear that my son is using but I can not contro...	Gaby	10	539	Nov 21, 2013 by Debilyn
	Cranky Today (Preview) Today everything my AH says has made me irritated. He is not drinking, he is just being who he is. But everything has gotten on my nerves. I realize I just need to let it go. I missed my meeting yesterday, and this is the consequence. I am angry and frustrated. Full of resentment about things I thought I had...	ParisMemories	8	360	Nov 21, 2013 by Tasha
	Most common phrases heard from clients in a rehab (Preview) I didn't get the meds I wanted so I'm leaving! (Hrmmm. Drug seeking behavior in rehab. Heck yeah). I can use the phone when I want so I am leaving! (God forbid you have extra focus on getting sober) I didn't come here for this! ("this" being anything other than sobriety) I thought this place...	pinkchip	21	645	Nov 21, 2013 by Tasha
	Acknowledging is the first step... (Preview) This is my first time on here. I'm not really sure where this post will go so I will just start with my story - My wife and I have been together for 3 years - had our union in March. I always knew she had an addictive personality and I guess I just always gave excuses. "Oh we are young we are suppose to dr...	Living in the Calm	6	598	Nov 21, 2013 by sadsusie
	The heart of an Alcoholic (Preview) I know that we should remember to keep the focus on ourselves, that it is essential to our recovery. Very essential. It is dreadfully easy for alcoholic seems to steal away our joy, peace, and serenity. Focusing on ourselves is necessary to restore those things into our lifewe need to refill the leaky...	sadsusie	10	481	Nov 21, 2013 by tiredtonite
	Today (Preview) Today I'm not feeling up to par. I've been sick off and on for a couple of weeks now. I think it's all in my head My son has made a couple of temps to contact me ( when in a sober state somewhat ) but I have not responded at all. I'm still weak and it would give him the opportunity to get to my weakness e...	Cathyinaz	21	557	Nov 20, 2013 by Tasha
	admitting my wrongs (Preview) So I am on steps 4-5 and find this a learning and difficult experience. I shared something I did with my sponsor that I have carried shame and regret for, for over 30 years. I have not admitted it to another human being, only to God. I'm not sure what I expected my sponsor to do-scold me, agree what I did w...	Lyne	4	338	Nov 20, 2013 by flinn66
	Confused (Preview) About a month ago I ended my relationship with my sponsor. It was a thoughtful decision after much prayer and counsel. I was clear it was the best decision for me. It was difficult for me to do but I thought I had handled it (through a phone call) in a way that was gentle, kind and clean with, what I believ...	PP	26	576	Nov 20, 2013 by Debilyn
	Power of Denial (Preview) I drive school bus and have threatened to arrange my kids, all ages, into seats that I know they won't like, if they cannot control their behavior - I'm tired of having to holler the same things over and over and careening down the freeway at 55 mph with semi's passing is no place for me to have to be discipl...	likemyheart	8	413	Nov 20, 2013 by grateful2be
	Compassion. (Preview) It's amazing how far-reaching the stuff I learn here is. My ex AH (and I am for all intents and purposes his ex AW) has been in my thoughts tonight. Some years ago we went overseas to stay with his parents for a time. We ended up moving into our own flat and living there for a couple of years and during that tim...	Melly1248	7	911	Nov 20, 2013 by karma13
	new to all of this, struggling (Preview) how can i briefly explain? probably not possible to do so, so I'll try to sum up. I knew my bf was an alcoholic from the start, but he had been working towards cutting down and living a healthier life even when we were just friends. he was one of my very best friends, and i didn't expect we would fall in love b...	breamanic665	15	530	Nov 20, 2013 by milkwood
	Update. I'm still working it (Preview) Hello everyone , I am ok today my A found a job my dr are not charging me co pays given my health status and free samples have been provided this is for sure to know my higher power see that I'm working hard to change me and given myself over to him and return he given me my path to recovery , this is something I co...	Wisdom67	7	367	Nov 20, 2013 by karma13
	A nice turn around (Preview) I've been feeling cranky all week, reaching a point where I felt completely down in the dumps. Thanks to lots of reading, mostly here, it was at least an opportunity to see my grizzly thinking in action Then in an effort to feel a bit more positive about myself I suggested doing a lunch for a friend who i...	milkwood	5	250	Nov 19, 2013 by PP
	Struggling (Preview) Where to start.... I have separated from my AH 2 months ago and trying my best to get on with my life, while caring for our 2 young girls, working, doing the household...etc. The last 2 months have been an emotional roller coaster, some days I am fine, other days I feel depressed. I feel I can manage (just)...	Medi	9	487	Nov 19, 2013 by Jen61
	ESH, please (Preview) I would like prayers today for the strength to work my program while I watch my husband relapsing into his addictive thoughts. To my awareness, he has not picked up substances, but he has picked up the stinking thinking. He has his tools and I have mine. I know I cannot and will not do this alone....th...	PP	24	755	Nov 19, 2013 by Green Eyes
	PTSD in overdrive (Preview) I have been having a very difficult time. I have been having lots of flashbacks from past abuse and assaults. It has gotten to the point that I see every male as a threat to my safety. I know it's logically stupid, but I've been having nightmares really bad and not sleeping. I've blocked more people from F...	bijela	8	1200	Nov 18, 2013 by Wisdom67
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