Al-Anon Family Group - Al-Anon Family Group

sadsusie · sadsusie

I guess I should start by saying that it is my..well..lets just say I am hyper emotional. My AH who verbally abused me for 10 years, then got into drugs and hanging out with thugs and being out all night, who then went to Rehab for 20 days..and came out a hugely different person. Treats me differently tri...

Gaby · Gaby

Well today I woke up with an appetite ( which is not the normal fore ). But I woke up better then yesterday. I reached out to my son last night and all I asked was "are you ok, that is all I want to know" well his response was "yes". That was all. Next week the holiday will be here and if thi...

Lyne · Lyne

Thanks to all who supported me in appreciating the blessings I have. And once I gave up my little pity party, I figured out if all were willing, that we could have Thanksgiving dinner on the Sunday after Thanksgiving. They all agreed! This is a blessing. Getting rid of negative makes room for posit...

Minibee · Minibee

Hi i am a 44 year old adult child of an alcoholic father. He drank from before I was born, I left home at 18, I have not had contact with him for more than 12 years. My mum lived with him for 27 years, had 4 children, left him when I was 27. She lives near me. My two sisters are in contact with us and are 4 to 5 hours aw...

Jerry F · Jerry F

This is about seeing the humor in things rather than the critizism. I have a business and one of my clients is a small hotel in Hilo. My office is it's gardens and property and I am beyond blessed. Sometimes the blessing are humor which comes in strange confusing ways. I was clearing the leaves ou...

el-cee · el-cee

My son, the son who takes after his A father in so many ways, including a problem with alcohol has been living with his friend and his family and staying with me from time to time also. I finally set a few boundaries around him since Alanon and they have helped protect me from my ex and now my sons destructiv...

Kent · Kent

I am a recovering alcoholic in AA with 3.5 years of sobriety. I went to a few al-anon meetings with my then girlfriend (now my wife) prior to getting sober. My wife had been a devoted member of al-anon for more than ten years, but since the birth of our son almost two years ago she has been to maybe five me...

slogan_jim · slogan_jim

I am half-way through reading 'The Complete ACOA Sourcebook; at home, at work and in love' by Janet Geringer Woititz. In reading that book I have learned that;My behaviours and self-image is based on the stories that I absorbed growing up. There was much inconsistency in the messages that I was being...

John · John

I have a glass top coffee table and under the glass I have many recovery related books. AA. Al-Anon, NA, Coda, ACoA. As I was looking through the glass this morning, I thought, "Grab one, randomly open it and share a paragraph from the page that is opened". I reached under the table, let my hand fumble...

Gaby · Gaby

Well my son and I have had very little communication. I know he is in a dark place. I have to fully surrender and give god his child that he blessed me with. I pray and pray and have hope my son gets back on the saddle to sobriety.. I truly have to take care of me. I am praying for strength .. I can't do no more for m...

Jerry F · Jerry F

and I've survived it. Aloha Family...just recently got back from a "meet the commanders" meeting at the police department. This is the third time the first two with a different focus. This one was standing up for me as a Hawaiian National who was assaulted by the police. I went for the...

neshema2 · neshema2

This is a picture of my "mama" Aunt Helen...Maternal Aunt...She is in a nursing home now, going down that spiral that Alzheimer's takes our loved ones down....Do they know they are sick?? Do they really know that life is ebbing away, slowly, inexorably??? I think they do.....I think they...

John · John

If you used mIRC in the Thursday night meeting and have it set to log the activity (chat) in the room, please let me know, I need a copy of Thursday nights meeting on Step Three. Or just send it to me at johnfreifeld@gmail.com. I didn't know until this morning that my mIRC settings were not logging the me...

John · John

Hi Everyone, I literally hate having to post this stuff but each year our bills come due again for the MIP site. The domain name registration, the web hosting, message boards, etc, cost money. If you can make a donation that will help offset some of the expense it would be gratefully appreciated. T...

ilovedogs · ilovedogs

Hi all, my AH comes home from a missions trip to Haiti tomorrow. I will be picking him up from the airport late. I am working on having no expectations from this trip of his. He has contacted me via text a few times, but nothing earth shattering, LOL. I am very ready to move on with my life and I am afraid t...

Lyne · Lyne

OK, so I can't have Thanksgiving dinner with my son and his family because they are eating with his in-laws this year. I was just writing to my sponsor. Yes, I can choose to have a pity party, poor me, and a big boo hoo. Life is so unfair! And then my alanon brain kicked in and I am so lucky to have a son I am...

Mattie · Mattie

I am in a coffee shop where I often hang out. It's on the edge of a sketchy area of town and sometimes homeless people and panhandlers come in. You know what I mean -- unkempt, torn and dirty clothing, hair that hasn't been washed or combed in weeks, and so on. Just now I saw a homeless person approaching...

Tasha · Tasha

.... to screw in a light bulb????? None. They detach with love and let it screw itself.

1lostmom · 1lostmom

Hi, I'm new here, and I wanted to share my story and get some support. I was a good kid. I grew up in a very nice neighborhood, my mom stayed at home with my siblings and I, and my dad was a teacher. I could find things to complain about, but in the greater scheme that is life, I had a relatively easy childho...

SerenityRUS · SerenityRUS

It's my birthday .. goooo me! I was reflecting on the past two years today and the changes that have come either from outside forces or just because it was time. What has changed .. a LOT! What hasn't changed .. a LOT! I had to laugh to myself. Let's see this all started 2 years ago (well longer however...

Buford · Buford

Hello, i am new to this forum. I am in a long distance relationship with a recovering addict, who joined NA 6 months into our relationship. We've been together about a year and a half. Today, she told me that she is going to a "dance party" (rave) to see how it makes her feel. She says she is prepa...

Gaby · Gaby

I am hurting do much. I texted my son and he usually responds right away. I feel something is wrong. I just don't want to know. I am praying every minute for both he and I. I am falling back to my depression. I just need some support. I love my son but I can't help him if he is not ready. How after 5 months of recov...

Debilyn · Debilyn

for the loving parents of A children

Raven Juniper · Raven Juniper

Today didn't get off to such a great start. I've been having a hard time getting myself together in the mornings, especially with the weather getting really cold where I live. I have thyroid disease and adrenal fatigue that I'm newly learning to self treat, for lack of funds and a doctor who will liste...

Melly1248 · Melly1248

Frequently of an afternoon, we walk down to the local park and daughter and I sit on the swings, swinging and talking about this n that, while the dog runs around sniffing things and then peeing on them, and every few minutes he runs over to stare sideways at us for a while, because he just doesn't underst...

SerenityRUS · SerenityRUS

I had to delete my account abruptly because I think it became compromised I'm hoping that enough time, new name and new email address will do the trick. I have been a lurker and reading daily for my dose of the wise people on these boards. Things are going good .. I'm still married .. probably will be fo...

Melly1248 · Melly1248

Sigh, ABF came home from work 5 hours early today and stomped off to his room "I DON'T want to talk"... I sensed something more than the usual hangover/tantrum was going on and I was right; he eventually opened up and I won't go into details but it turns out he's being bullied quite horribly at...

alexmaui · alexmaui

I have a family court order of protection against my husband. I filed citing his harassment after months of calls to my cell phone voice mail and to my work place I never felt physically threatened. But his constant calls to, my job-- up to 12 times a day--- began to affect my co-workers and how I was v...

wifeofalcoholic · wifeofalcoholic

I have read much on the subject of detachment. How much can you detach while living under the same roof. My AH is asleep snoring on the couch when I come in from work. If he wakes up he is repeating himself or telling stories that don't make sense. Like many on this board, I have been married for many yea...

John · John

Hi Everyone, I literally hate having to post this stuff but each year our bills come due again for the MIP site. The domain name registration, the web hosting, message boards, etc, cost money. If you can make a donation that will help offset some of the expense it would be gratefully appreciated. T...

oldergal · oldergal

My friend the counselor tells me he discourages addicts in recovery from setting too many goals. How do people get better, then? I wondered. He explains they create new habits by focusing on short-term outcomes they can control. The point is the process, not the finish line. My son in recovery (with...

Mari1978 · Mari1978

I am trying not to get myself concerned with what others may think. I blew it. A has not been home and apparently staying in his vehicle because I told him he couldn't stay in the home if he was still communicating with the girl he got involved with. I really am not sure of anything but can feel that nagging...

Gaby · Gaby

It is hard to except what we can not control. I wish there was something just one more thing I can do for my son. I have had to stay away from my own home so I would not look down the street to see if he is home himself. This mental break down took me to a very dark place. I hear that my son is using but I can not contro...

ParisMemories · ParisMemories

Today everything my AH says has made me irritated. He is not drinking, he is just being who he is. But everything has gotten on my nerves. I realize I just need to let it go. I missed my meeting yesterday, and this is the consequence. I am angry and frustrated. Full of resentment about things I thought I had...

pinkchip · pinkchip

I didn't get the meds I wanted so I'm leaving! (Hrmmm. Drug seeking behavior in rehab. Heck yeah). I can use the phone when I want so I am leaving! (God forbid you have extra focus on getting sober) I didn't come here for this! ("this" being anything other than sobriety) I thought this place...

Living in the Calm · Living in the Calm

This is my first time on here. I'm not really sure where this post will go so I will just start with my story - My wife and I have been together for 3 years - had our union in March. I always knew she had an addictive personality and I guess I just always gave excuses. "Oh we are young we are suppose to dr...

sadsusie · sadsusie

I know that we should remember to keep the focus on ourselves, that it is essential to our recovery. Very essential. It is dreadfully easy for alcoholic seems to steal away our joy, peace, and serenity. Focusing on ourselves is necessary to restore those things into our lifewe need to refill the leaky...

Cathyinaz · Cathyinaz

Today I'm not feeling up to par. I've been sick off and on for a couple of weeks now. I think it's all in my head

My son has made a couple of temps to contact me ( when in a sober state somewhat ) but I have not responded at all. I'm still weak and it would give him the opportunity to get to my weakness e...

Lyne · Lyne

So I am on steps 4-5 and find this a learning and difficult experience. I shared something I did with my sponsor that I have carried shame and regret for, for over 30 years. I have not admitted it to another human being, only to God. I'm not sure what I expected my sponsor to do-scold me, agree what I did w...

PP · PP

About a month ago I ended my relationship with my sponsor. It was a thoughtful decision after much prayer and counsel. I was clear it was the best decision for me. It was difficult for me to do but I thought I had handled it (through a phone call) in a way that was gentle, kind and clean with, what I believ...

likemyheart · likemyheart

I drive school bus and have threatened to arrange my kids, all ages, into seats that I know they won't like, if they cannot control their behavior - I'm tired of having to holler the same things over and over and careening down the freeway at 55 mph with semi's passing is no place for me to have to be discipl...

Melly1248 · Melly1248

It's amazing how far-reaching the stuff I learn here is. My ex AH (and I am for all intents and purposes his ex AW) has been in my thoughts tonight. Some years ago we went overseas to stay with his parents for a time. We ended up moving into our own flat and living there for a couple of years and during that tim...

breamanic665 · breamanic665

how can i briefly explain? probably not possible to do so, so I'll try to sum up. I knew my bf was an alcoholic from the start, but he had been working towards cutting down and living a healthier life even when we were just friends. he was one of my very best friends, and i didn't expect we would fall in love b...

Wisdom67 · Wisdom67

Hello everyone , I am ok today my A found a job my dr are not charging me co pays given my health status and free samples have been provided this is for sure to know my higher power see that I'm working hard to change me and given myself over to him and return he given me my path to recovery , this is something I co...

milkwood · milkwood

I've been feeling cranky all week, reaching a point where I felt completely down in the dumps. Thanks to lots of reading, mostly here, it was at least an opportunity to see my grizzly thinking in action Then in an effort to feel a bit more positive about myself I suggested doing a lunch for a friend who i...

Medi · Medi

Where to start.... I have separated from my AH 2 months ago and trying my best to get on with my life, while caring for our 2 young girls, working, doing the household...etc. The last 2 months have been an emotional roller coaster, some days I am fine, other days I feel depressed. I feel I can manage (just)...

PP · PP

I would like prayers today for the strength to work my program while I watch my husband relapsing into his addictive thoughts. To my awareness, he has not picked up substances, but he has picked up the stinking thinking. He has his tools and I have mine. I know I cannot and will not do this alone....th...

bijela · bijela

I have been having a very difficult time. I have been having lots of flashbacks from past abuse and assaults. It has gotten to the point that I see every male as a threat to my safety. I know it's logically stupid, but I've been having nightmares really bad and not sleeping. I've blocked more people from F...

Hoot Nanny · Hoot Nanny

Should I keep my mouth shut? I am really feeling the need to listen these days. I think I am going through a growth period or a new cycle in my life. I don't have a lot of wisdom to share right now. I just want to say a few things & stop writing. I am not hopeless or helpless. I don't feel alone in all this stuf...

SpiderArcana · SpiderArcana

It's not always doom and gloom - sometimes there is light. My husband and I had a really good weekend. We went out and bummed around town for a bit, we ate dinner out, and we had honest, kind conversations to each other. I had a few eye-opening moments, and I was able to explain a few of my concerns with a ve...

Mattie · Mattie

I found myself having a big reaction today and I thought, "Where the heck did that come from?" I was buying some big bags of pet food with my son, in a store that didn't have carts, and when we had pulled some out to take up to the register, my son wandered off to look at pets and I couldn't find him...

Gaby · Gaby

So as I had shared my son relapsed one week ago today.. Well since he has no longer relapsed I can honestly say for him he just never recovered. He is in such denial. Where did all the stress and worrying and fear send me to !!?? Yes the mental hospital on Wednesday all caused by those factors because I have b...

slogan_jim · slogan_jim

Hi eveyone, My name is Slogan_jim and I am a grateful member of al-anon. Well, after a great revelation of my own about intimacy last night, my dad got home from rehab. I saw he called today, so I phoned back. He's already slurring. Those 5 weeks he was gone felt so relaxing. My sister has decided that she w...

deacon · deacon

My husband is a caring, hardworking, giving man. I know he loves me and he professes it every day. He will go out of his way to make me comfortable and he says many times that he puts me first in our relationship.Except that he likes to drink. He knows how much I hate drinking. So he hides it in his garage and t...

Raven Juniper · Raven Juniper

I'm supposed to be getting ready for work and here I am...Lol.. I just have to vent a tiny bit before I walk out into the living room and see the A sitting at the computer dressed in the same clothes from last week. At least he hardly perspires, so you smell the dirty clothes more than anything else. And yet I...

DavidG · DavidG

Oh my gosh! This year I had to deal with conflict inside of my group. I was a big part of that! I wasn't the cause though. I would describe it as 'growing pains'. Yesterday we had our area business meeting. It was hosted in my own community... we did have a major crisis, which I won't name, of course! But I wa...

Mattie · Mattie

I was reading about the findings of a researcher on addiction, Karen Ersche. She studies the effects of cocaine on the brain. In the report she says: "I have also become increasingly intriguied by the question of occasional drug use can turn into addiction in some people, while others seem to...

el-cee · el-cee

I'm trying to work an honest program so I thought I would share parts of myself to you, just to be honest really and to get some feedback. I love Al anon, I love the fellowship and its teaching me to be a better person, a more empathetic person, a kinder, more gentle person, but there is a part of me, (not sure...

Doozy · Doozy

Hi all! I haven't written for a long time, but I still read often and I just love this board. Alanon and MIP continue to help me change my life in HUGE ways for the better and I am so thankful. I've been going through some tough circumstances. Today and yesterday, I was rolling around some ideas in my head a...

Cathyinaz · Cathyinaz

Good Morning all I've been having these little mini panic attacks I'm calling them. They aren't that bad but the fear is real and lasts from a few seconds to a few minutes. Sometimes I can't even remember what caused them. Sometimes my son comes to mind. It's all in my head I know but having a hard time...

Topic		Started By	Replies	Views	Last Post
	OH My Gosh I am in the middle of a BREAKDOWN! (Preview) I guess I should start by saying that it is my..well..lets just say I am hyper emotional. My AH who verbally abused me for 10 years, then got into drugs and hanging out with thugs and being out all night, who then went to Rehab for 20 days..and came out a hugely different person. Treats me differently tri...	sadsusie	7	413	Nov 24, 2013 by grateful2be
	Good morning.. (Preview) Well today I woke up with an appetite ( which is not the normal fore ). But I woke up better then yesterday. I reached out to my son last night and all I asked was "are you ok, that is all I want to know" well his response was "yes". That was all. Next week the holiday will be here and if thi...	Gaby	2	210	Nov 25, 2013 by SerenityRUS
	Thanksgiving update (Preview) Thanks to all who supported me in appreciating the blessings I have. And once I gave up my little pity party, I figured out if all were willing, that we could have Thanksgiving dinner on the Sunday after Thanksgiving. They all agreed! This is a blessing. Getting rid of negative makes room for posit...	Lyne	6	222	Nov 25, 2013 by grateful2be
	my non alcoholic mum is turning into the alcoholic in my life ....help adult child critical parent help (Preview) Hi i am a 44 year old adult child of an alcoholic father. He drank from before I was born, I left home at 18, I have not had contact with him for more than 12 years. My mum lived with him for 27 years, had 4 children, left him when I was 27. She lives near me. My two sisters are in contact with us and are 4 to 5 hours aw...	Minibee	3	6002	Nov 24, 2013 by Minibee
	Leaf Blowing.... (Preview) This is about seeing the humor in things rather than the critizism. I have a business and one of my clients is a small hotel in Hilo. My office is it's gardens and property and I am beyond blessed. Sometimes the blessing are humor which comes in strange confusing ways. I was clearing the leaves ou...	Jerry F	19	505	Nov 24, 2013 by Tasha
	Oh, well this is a new situation!!! (Preview) My son, the son who takes after his A father in so many ways, including a problem with alcohol has been living with his friend and his family and staying with me from time to time also. I finally set a few boundaries around him since Alanon and they have helped protect me from my ex and now my sons destructiv...	el-cee	9	526	Nov 24, 2013 by oldergal
	In need of some perspective from "the other side of the fence" (Preview) I am a recovering alcoholic in AA with 3.5 years of sobriety. I went to a few al-anon meetings with my then girlfriend (now my wife) prior to getting sober. My wife had been a devoted member of al-anon for more than ten years, but since the birth of our son almost two years ago she has been to maybe five me...	Kent	13	605	Nov 24, 2013 by Kent
	Read a book. I get myself so much better now (summary) (Preview) I am half-way through reading 'The Complete ACOA Sourcebook; at home, at work and in love' by Janet Geringer Woititz. In reading that book I have learned that;My behaviours and self-image is based on the stories that I absorbed growing up. There was much inconsistency in the messages that I was being...	slogan_jim	10	441	Nov 24, 2013 by pinkchip
	This Mornings Reading... (Preview) I have a glass top coffee table and under the glass I have many recovery related books. AA. Al-Anon, NA, Coda, ACoA. As I was looking through the glass this morning, I thought, "Grab one, randomly open it and share a paragraph from the page that is opened". I reached under the table, let my hand fumble...	John	6	454	Nov 24, 2013 by DavidG
	Holidays ;( (Preview) Well my son and I have had very little communication. I know he is in a dark place. I have to fully surrender and give god his child that he blessed me with. I pray and pray and have hope my son gets back on the saddle to sobriety.. I truly have to take care of me. I am praying for strength .. I can't do no more for m...	Gaby	5	326	Nov 24, 2013 by grateful2be
	Sucky...sick feelings (Preview) and I've survived it. Aloha Family...just recently got back from a "meet the commanders" meeting at the police department. This is the third time the first two with a different focus. This one was standing up for me as a Hawaiian National who was assaulted by the police. I went for the...	Jerry F	11	510	Nov 24, 2013 by el-cee
	its detachment time again..... (Preview) This is a picture of my "mama" Aunt Helen...Maternal Aunt...She is in a nursing home now, going down that spiral that Alzheimer's takes our loved ones down....Do they know they are sick?? Do they really know that life is ebbing away, slowly, inexorably??? I think they do.....I think they...	neshema2	8	404	Nov 24, 2013 by grateful2be
	Does anyone have the log of Thursday nites meeting? Topic Step 3?? (Preview) If you used mIRC in the Thursday night meeting and have it set to log the activity (chat) in the room, please let me know, I need a copy of Thursday nights meeting on Step Three. Or just send it to me at johnfreifeld@gmail.com. I didn't know until this morning that my mIRC settings were not logging the me...	John	0	213	Nov 23, 2013 by John
	Donation/Contribution Sign is Lite Again (Repost) (Preview) Hi Everyone, I literally hate having to post this stuff but each year our bills come due again for the MIP site. The domain name registration, the web hosting, message boards, etc, cost money. If you can make a donation that will help offset some of the expense it would be gratefully appreciated. T...	John	1	257	Nov 23, 2013 by PP
	Need support (Preview) Hi all, my AH comes home from a missions trip to Haiti tomorrow. I will be picking him up from the airport late. I am working on having no expectations from this trip of his. He has contacted me via text a few times, but nothing earth shattering, LOL. I am very ready to move on with my life and I am afraid t...	ilovedogs	14	484	Nov 23, 2013 by John
	growing up in alanon (Preview) OK, so I can't have Thanksgiving dinner with my son and his family because they are eating with his in-laws this year. I was just writing to my sponsor. Yes, I can choose to have a pity party, poor me, and a big boo hoo. Life is so unfair! And then my alanon brain kicked in and I am so lucky to have a son I am...	Lyne	8	186	Nov 23, 2013 by el-cee
	They never change! (Funny) (Preview) I am in a coffee shop where I often hang out. It's on the edge of a sketchy area of town and sometimes homeless people and panhandlers come in. You know what I mean -- unkempt, torn and dirty clothing, hair that hasn't been washed or combed in weeks, and so on. Just now I saw a homeless person approaching...	Mattie	11	422	Nov 22, 2013 by flinn66
	How many alanons does it take... (Preview) .... to screw in a light bulb????? None. They detach with love and let it screw itself.	Tasha	9	653	Nov 22, 2013 by Melly1248
	New here- my story and disappointment (Preview) Hi, I'm new here, and I wanted to share my story and get some support. I was a good kid. I grew up in a very nice neighborhood, my mom stayed at home with my siblings and I, and my dad was a teacher. I could find things to complain about, but in the greater scheme that is life, I had a relatively easy childho...	1lostmom	6	455	Nov 22, 2013 by Mari1978
	Neither here nor there .. (Preview) It's my birthday .. goooo me! I was reflecting on the past two years today and the changes that have come either from outside forces or just because it was time. What has changed .. a LOT! What hasn't changed .. a LOT! I had to laugh to myself. Let's see this all started 2 years ago (well longer however...	SerenityRUS	9	313	Nov 22, 2013 by ilovedogs
	SO in recovery going to a rave (Preview) Hello, i am new to this forum. I am in a long distance relationship with a recovering addict, who joined NA 6 months into our relationship. We've been together about a year and a half. Today, she told me that she is going to a "dance party" (rave) to see how it makes her feel. She says she is prepa...	Buford	31	719	Nov 22, 2013 by grateful2be
	Not in a good place right now.. (Preview) I am hurting do much. I texted my son and he usually responds right away. I feel something is wrong. I just don't want to know. I am praying every minute for both he and I. I am falling back to my depression. I just need some support. I love my son but I can't help him if he is not ready. How after 5 months of recov...	Gaby	13	470	Nov 22, 2013 by pinkchip
	a true quote... (Preview) for the loving parents of A children	Debilyn	9	505	Nov 22, 2013 by Raven Juniper
	Guilty feelings are here again. (Preview) Today didn't get off to such a great start. I've been having a hard time getting myself together in the mornings, especially with the weather getting really cold where I live. I have thyroid disease and adrenal fatigue that I'm newly learning to self treat, for lack of funds and a doctor who will liste...	Raven Juniper	12	508	Nov 22, 2013 by Raven Juniper
	Lessons by dog. (Preview) Frequently of an afternoon, we walk down to the local park and daughter and I sit on the swings, swinging and talking about this n that, while the dog runs around sniffing things and then peeing on them, and every few minutes he runs over to stare sideways at us for a while, because he just doesn't underst...	Melly1248	7	333	Nov 22, 2013 by Tasha
	Back back back :) (Preview) I had to delete my account abruptly because I think it became compromised I'm hoping that enough time, new name and new email address will do the trick. I have been a lurker and reading daily for my dose of the wise people on these boards. Things are going good .. I'm still married .. probably will be fo...	SerenityRUS	9	579	Nov 22, 2013 by Green Eyes
	On a less happy note.. (Preview) Sigh, ABF came home from work 5 hours early today and stomped off to his room "I DON'T want to talk"... I sensed something more than the usual hangover/tantrum was going on and I was right; he eventually opened up and I won't go into details but it turns out he's being bullied quite horribly at...	Melly1248	23	672	Nov 22, 2013 by wp
	violation of an order of protection (Preview) I have a family court order of protection against my husband. I filed citing his harassment after months of calls to my cell phone voice mail and to my work place I never felt physically threatened. But his constant calls to, my job-- up to 12 times a day--- began to affect my co-workers and how I was v...	alexmaui	9	376	Nov 21, 2013 by SerenityRUS
	How Do You Detach While Living Together? (Preview) I have read much on the subject of detachment. How much can you detach while living under the same roof. My AH is asleep snoring on the couch when I come in from work. If he wakes up he is repeating himself or telling stories that don't make sense. Like many on this board, I have been married for many yea...	wifeofalcoholic	8	1106	Nov 21, 2013 by Cathyinaz
	Donation/Contribution Sign is Lite Again (Preview) Hi Everyone, I literally hate having to post this stuff but each year our bills come due again for the MIP site. The domain name registration, the web hosting, message boards, etc, cost money. If you can make a donation that will help offset some of the expense it would be gratefully appreciated. T...	John	23	543	Nov 21, 2013 by Jill
	A share about creating new habits (Preview) My friend the counselor tells me he discourages addicts in recovery from setting too many goals. How do people get better, then? I wondered. He explains they create new habits by focusing on short-term outcomes they can control. The point is the process, not the finish line. My son in recovery (with...	oldergal	2	232	Nov 21, 2013 by PP
	Moment of weakness (Preview) I am trying not to get myself concerned with what others may think. I blew it. A has not been home and apparently staying in his vehicle because I told him he couldn't stay in the home if he was still communicating with the girl he got involved with. I really am not sure of anything but can feel that nagging...	Mari1978	14	542	Nov 21, 2013 by Theoceancalls
	Very Emotional.. (Preview) It is hard to except what we can not control. I wish there was something just one more thing I can do for my son. I have had to stay away from my own home so I would not look down the street to see if he is home himself. This mental break down took me to a very dark place. I hear that my son is using but I can not contro...	Gaby	10	515	Nov 21, 2013 by Debilyn
	Cranky Today (Preview) Today everything my AH says has made me irritated. He is not drinking, he is just being who he is. But everything has gotten on my nerves. I realize I just need to let it go. I missed my meeting yesterday, and this is the consequence. I am angry and frustrated. Full of resentment about things I thought I had...	ParisMemories	8	342	Nov 21, 2013 by Tasha
	Most common phrases heard from clients in a rehab (Preview) I didn't get the meds I wanted so I'm leaving! (Hrmmm. Drug seeking behavior in rehab. Heck yeah). I can use the phone when I want so I am leaving! (God forbid you have extra focus on getting sober) I didn't come here for this! ("this" being anything other than sobriety) I thought this place...	pinkchip	21	623	Nov 21, 2013 by Tasha
	Acknowledging is the first step... (Preview) This is my first time on here. I'm not really sure where this post will go so I will just start with my story - My wife and I have been together for 3 years - had our union in March. I always knew she had an addictive personality and I guess I just always gave excuses. "Oh we are young we are suppose to dr...	Living in the Calm	6	575	Nov 21, 2013 by sadsusie
	The heart of an Alcoholic (Preview) I know that we should remember to keep the focus on ourselves, that it is essential to our recovery. Very essential. It is dreadfully easy for alcoholic seems to steal away our joy, peace, and serenity. Focusing on ourselves is necessary to restore those things into our lifewe need to refill the leaky...	sadsusie	10	456	Nov 21, 2013 by tiredtonite
	Today (Preview) Today I'm not feeling up to par. I've been sick off and on for a couple of weeks now. I think it's all in my head My son has made a couple of temps to contact me ( when in a sober state somewhat ) but I have not responded at all. I'm still weak and it would give him the opportunity to get to my weakness e...	Cathyinaz	21	537	Nov 20, 2013 by Tasha
	admitting my wrongs (Preview) So I am on steps 4-5 and find this a learning and difficult experience. I shared something I did with my sponsor that I have carried shame and regret for, for over 30 years. I have not admitted it to another human being, only to God. I'm not sure what I expected my sponsor to do-scold me, agree what I did w...	Lyne	4	317	Nov 20, 2013 by flinn66
	Confused (Preview) About a month ago I ended my relationship with my sponsor. It was a thoughtful decision after much prayer and counsel. I was clear it was the best decision for me. It was difficult for me to do but I thought I had handled it (through a phone call) in a way that was gentle, kind and clean with, what I believ...	PP	26	552	Nov 20, 2013 by Debilyn
	Power of Denial (Preview) I drive school bus and have threatened to arrange my kids, all ages, into seats that I know they won't like, if they cannot control their behavior - I'm tired of having to holler the same things over and over and careening down the freeway at 55 mph with semi's passing is no place for me to have to be discipl...	likemyheart	8	390	Nov 20, 2013 by grateful2be
	Compassion. (Preview) It's amazing how far-reaching the stuff I learn here is. My ex AH (and I am for all intents and purposes his ex AW) has been in my thoughts tonight. Some years ago we went overseas to stay with his parents for a time. We ended up moving into our own flat and living there for a couple of years and during that tim...	Melly1248	7	890	Nov 20, 2013 by karma13
	new to all of this, struggling (Preview) how can i briefly explain? probably not possible to do so, so I'll try to sum up. I knew my bf was an alcoholic from the start, but he had been working towards cutting down and living a healthier life even when we were just friends. he was one of my very best friends, and i didn't expect we would fall in love b...	breamanic665	15	509	Nov 20, 2013 by milkwood
	Update. I'm still working it (Preview) Hello everyone , I am ok today my A found a job my dr are not charging me co pays given my health status and free samples have been provided this is for sure to know my higher power see that I'm working hard to change me and given myself over to him and return he given me my path to recovery , this is something I co...	Wisdom67	7	336	Nov 20, 2013 by karma13
	A nice turn around (Preview) I've been feeling cranky all week, reaching a point where I felt completely down in the dumps. Thanks to lots of reading, mostly here, it was at least an opportunity to see my grizzly thinking in action Then in an effort to feel a bit more positive about myself I suggested doing a lunch for a friend who i...	milkwood	5	230	Nov 19, 2013 by PP
	Struggling (Preview) Where to start.... I have separated from my AH 2 months ago and trying my best to get on with my life, while caring for our 2 young girls, working, doing the household...etc. The last 2 months have been an emotional roller coaster, some days I am fine, other days I feel depressed. I feel I can manage (just)...	Medi	9	461	Nov 19, 2013 by Jen61
	ESH, please (Preview) I would like prayers today for the strength to work my program while I watch my husband relapsing into his addictive thoughts. To my awareness, he has not picked up substances, but he has picked up the stinking thinking. He has his tools and I have mine. I know I cannot and will not do this alone....th...	PP	24	734	Nov 19, 2013 by Green Eyes
	PTSD in overdrive (Preview) I have been having a very difficult time. I have been having lots of flashbacks from past abuse and assaults. It has gotten to the point that I see every male as a threat to my safety. I know it's logically stupid, but I've been having nightmares really bad and not sleeping. I've blocked more people from F...	bijela	8	1167	Nov 18, 2013 by Wisdom67
	really don't know what to say these days... (Preview) Should I keep my mouth shut? I am really feeling the need to listen these days. I think I am going through a growth period or a new cycle in my life. I don't have a lot of wisdom to share right now. I just want to say a few things & stop writing. I am not hopeless or helpless. I don't feel alone in all this stuf...	Hoot Nanny	4	426	Nov 18, 2013 by Wisdom67
	Good Weekend (Preview) It's not always doom and gloom - sometimes there is light. My husband and I had a really good weekend. We went out and bummed around town for a bit, we ate dinner out, and we had honest, kind conversations to each other. I had a few eye-opening moments, and I was able to explain a few of my concerns with a ve...	SpiderArcana	1	142	Nov 18, 2013 by milkwood
	Reflections on my own triggers (Preview) I found myself having a big reaction today and I thought, "Where the heck did that come from?" I was buying some big bags of pet food with my son, in a store that didn't have carts, and when we had pulled some out to take up to the register, my son wandered off to look at pets and I couldn't find him...	Mattie	8	524	Nov 18, 2013 by Raven Juniper
	Update... (Preview) So as I had shared my son relapsed one week ago today.. Well since he has no longer relapsed I can honestly say for him he just never recovered. He is in such denial. Where did all the stress and worrying and fear send me to !!?? Yes the mental hospital on Wednesday all caused by those factors because I have b...	Gaby	9	341	Nov 18, 2013 by PP
	5 weeks in rehab....2 hours to drink. (Preview) Hi eveyone, My name is Slogan_jim and I am a grateful member of al-anon. Well, after a great revelation of my own about intimacy last night, my dad got home from rehab. I saw he called today, so I phoned back. He's already slurring. Those 5 weeks he was gone felt so relaxing. My sister has decided that she w...	slogan_jim	8	543	Nov 18, 2013 by Tasha
	Is being a decent human being enough? (Preview) My husband is a caring, hardworking, giving man. I know he loves me and he professes it every day. He will go out of his way to make me comfortable and he says many times that he puts me first in our relationship.Except that he likes to drink. He knows how much I hate drinking. So he hides it in his garage and t...	deacon	12	529	Nov 17, 2013 by Mattie
	I'm Addicted to MIP AlAnon (Preview) I'm supposed to be getting ready for work and here I am...Lol.. I just have to vent a tiny bit before I walk out into the living room and see the A sitting at the computer dressed in the same clothes from last week. At least he hardly perspires, so you smell the dirty clothes more than anything else. And yet I...	Raven Juniper	2	330	Nov 17, 2013 by Jerry F
	Thanks Alanon... (Preview) Oh my gosh! This year I had to deal with conflict inside of my group. I was a big part of that! I wasn't the cause though. I would describe it as 'growing pains'. Yesterday we had our area business meeting. It was hosted in my own community... we did have a major crisis, which I won't name, of course! But I wa...	DavidG	4	263	Nov 17, 2013 by grateful2be
	How Addiction Starts (Preview) I was reading about the findings of a researcher on addiction, Karen Ersche. She studies the effects of cocaine on the brain. In the report she says: "I have also become increasingly intriguied by the question of occasional drug use can turn into addiction in some people, while others seem to...	Mattie	7	619	Nov 17, 2013 by DavidG
	Honest (Preview) I'm trying to work an honest program so I thought I would share parts of myself to you, just to be honest really and to get some feedback. I love Al anon, I love the fellowship and its teaching me to be a better person, a more empathetic person, a kinder, more gentle person, but there is a part of me, (not sure...	el-cee	19	554	Nov 16, 2013 by el-cee
	New realizations about weakness and strength (Preview) Hi all! I haven't written for a long time, but I still read often and I just love this board. Alanon and MIP continue to help me change my life in HUGE ways for the better and I am so thankful. I've been going through some tough circumstances. Today and yesterday, I was rolling around some ideas in my head a...	Doozy	2	445	Nov 17, 2013 by hotrod
	Panic Attacks (Preview) Good Morning all I've been having these little mini panic attacks I'm calling them. They aren't that bad but the fear is real and lasts from a few seconds to a few minutes. Sometimes I can't even remember what caused them. Sometimes my son comes to mind. It's all in my head I know but having a hard time...	Cathyinaz	14	627	Nov 17, 2013 by Debilyn
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The material presented here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method to exchange information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal level.