Al-Anon Family Group - Al-Anon Family Group

ilovedogs · ilovedogs

Happy Thanksgiving MIP family!!! I hope you all are having a blessed day! I am preparing a quick meal for the family and then my son and I are driving a few hours to a tennis tournament, where he has to play early in the AM tomorrow. We'll be gone all weekend. AH is now acting like Mr Perfect Dad. Hanging...

Gaby · Gaby

I'm still laying in bed watching a good life time movie at my sister in laws.. At this time I feel at peace.. I was laying here thinking last year at this same time and also 3 years ago at this same time.. My son has ruined my holidays due to his actions.. The only difference is I need to let him go and find his wa...

DavidG · DavidG

Its 29th Nov, already, here in NZ... Our reading is about the classic drunk dad and coping mum type of family. This was my family largely. My mum took the line- if you caint beat em join em... and so she was at the pub too- at least some of the time. I can only quote briefly from 'Hope For Today'. This is out of...

ParisMemories · ParisMemories

To all my MIP friends, I want to thank you all for supporting me and encouraging me this past year. I truly would not have made it without your kindness and wisdom. This thanksgiving I am so very grateful for each and every one of you all. Hugs.

Breakingfree · Breakingfree

As Thanksgiving and Christmas roll around I am so happy I live a distance away from all or most of my family of origin. Not to mention I have a hard time celebrating the genocide of the American Indian. I appreciate my friends and children on a regular basis and am thankful for them all the time. I remembe...

Wisdom67 · Wisdom67

Haha got u all bet you were thinking bad news.. Well I can say we all survived thanksgiving no screaming or fighting no guest nothing extra to bring to our table but good manors . We both been good with keeping to our side of the street the children are right in the middle now so they both our attention . Not s...

John · John

grateful2be · grateful2be

Things aren't going well when I focus on what I don't have. The problem isn't outside of me. The problem - the way I am looking at things - can be changed. When the way I am looking at life changes, life seems to change, too. Today, I am grateful to receive another day that is mine to do with it as I choose....

rehprof · rehprof

Today I pray for the families who still have active addiction in their lives...Holidays are so hard. The littlest things trigger arguments, and in some cases violent words and violent actions. Though I am safe, I feel deeply connected to those people who aren't. Sending you all peace and grace. -- E...

Gaby · Gaby

Just knowing tomorrow is a holiday and knowing I have no control of my son is just depressing to not know what he would be like tomorrow. It's unhealthy for us to be around each other and I feel sad for him. But I can't do nothing and I know that. He has made poor choices and I can't imagine what he will do to num...

neshema2 · neshema2

to my Goodliest Alanoners....Thanksgiving is upon us...Some of us will have family to share with...Some of us won't....But even still, as I will be alone this T/Giving, I will enjoy being with me and my fur babies....there will be play, treats and gratitude that I am healthy, my pets are healthy, my d...

phoenixmagicgirl · phoenixmagicgirl

Last night was horrible...at dinner my AM got really drunk and angry moreso than usual and started cursing out my dad and his family, especially his mom. My dad got very very angry as well. He mentioned he didn't know how much more of this he could take...my heart breaks for him..I know he's hurting SO mu...

bluejay99 · bluejay99

Hello everyone. I am new to this site. I have been acquainted with my neighbor for nine months and we have both expressed an interest in each other (flirting and a couple of phone conversations over a two month period). At our last phone conversation, he told me he was a recovering alcoholic. My fir...

melly2 · melly2

For some reason, when I log in as normal (Melly1248) it appears to have worked but as soon as I click on a post or on my messages or anything it logs me straight out and says I must log in to continue! It was working earlier! It's working fine with this different username so it can't be a pc issue. Clues, anyon...

ParisMemories · ParisMemories

Tomorrow my family comes for thanksgiving dinner. Every year I use my moms silver on the table. My mom passed 12 years ago and this is one of the few things of hers that I have now. She bought this silverware when she was a young woman in the late 1950s. She was proud to be earning her own money and saving thes...

likemyheart · likemyheart

I am thankful for enough income to meet my outgo. I am thankful for the great number of people in my every day life who are pleasant and make me laugh. I am thankful for jobs that fulfill me. I am thankful for friends that smile when I come through the door. *ya know, this might be the best one, eh? I am thankfu...

oldergal · oldergal

Why is it most everyone thinks the worst and not the best, I mean some of us can run ramped with the worse imaginations, is there a psychology to this? When did we become so negative? Is it because we want to b ready for the worst? Its a terrible habit i would love to drop immediately .... og

Living508 · Living508

I have been in al-anon for about 6 months & have a sponsor. I have been unable to attend meetings & meet with her past couple weeks b/c of reall bad morning sickness from my pregnancy. My father went to intensive outpatient rehab about 6 months ago? He completed the program but still had some den...

Melly1248 · Melly1248

Decided to jump headfirst into the housework today. It was a shambles around here, and I was finally sick of it enough to roll up my sleeves. ABF wandered out while I was cleaning and asked "do you want me to help?" I responded- "I don't like the term "help" but you are welcome...

Andrea12 · Andrea12

Hello all, It has been awhile since I have posted.....today I post because I am grateful!!!! I am grateful for the people I have met in these rooms....particularly a couple of amazing women who gave me such much needed reminders last night. It was just what I needed and I thank you....MsP and Senora t...

Melly1248 · Melly1248

There are things my daughter does that irritate me and things that can make my blood boil, momentarily but these things are usually very brief flare-ups because, lets face it, she's an awesome kid and she's pretty hard to be angry with. But this thing that she's started doing? It's different. It makes...

Cathyinaz · Cathyinaz

Good Morning All Sister and I are still in PJ's, no makeup and messy hair. Fixing table for Thanksgiving

gingerfizz · gingerfizz

Hi all, I little update on some things going on in my life. I kind of wanted to write them out for myself, and figured I would share. ESH welcome. My AH is 3.5 months dry - no program of recovery. Last night I went out to an annual friends vegan Thanksgiving. I've been a vegan for about 7 years and a vegetar...

hotrod · hotrod

I am going out of town for my Thanksgiving Feast. Since this person is anti computers I will have no access to our wonderful site and will return late Friday evening. I pray that each and everyone of My MIP Family Is Blessed with a Thanksgiving Day that is filled with Higher Power's Unconditiona...

Gaby · Gaby

Well my son and I texted last night. I am trying my best to really just let him find his way, but I always seem to do it wrong. He shared that his job let him go. I was not surprised. As he already knows he has been down this path do to his addiction. I want some advise?? I told my son I loved him and pray that the hol...

oldergal · oldergal

The holidays are not in control YOU are in control of yourself....don't let them freak you out. Id say the only thing you need to do is be grateful for the things you have. Ask for help if you need it...holidays r for enjoyment and celebration. Don't let family overwhelm you with tradition that has to be p...

BlueCloud · BlueCloud

MIPers, I need your help to stop my last hour from turning into a full-blown slip :). Thank you so much for whatever ESH you have to offer to keep me on track!! I posted a few weeks ago about how challenging it has been for me that my partner is so busy with work and school. Now, it's Thanksgiving eve and my co...

DavidG · DavidG

... how much tolerance does this forum have for family members of other addictions- ? that is apart from alcohol addiction. I know we family members tip-toe around some topics- it is what we are used to back in the day! we are in the USA in 2011 [and plan to be back next year....]. I did not get to Alanon mee...

wornoutmrsfixit · wornoutmrsfixit

Well, I put a note in my husband's truck last night telling him that I was moving forward with divorce plans. I did that because when we discuss, it so often turns into an argument and we end up saying more hurtful things. So sick of every conversation, even pleasant ones, being a land mine. Anyway, I had S...

Lyne · Lyne

Last night in my F2F meeting our topic was what we learned about trust in our childhoods. Well what I learned was to "trust" people that abused me and let me down. And I have carried this all through my life, including my current A spouse. I think everyone I have been close to has hurt me and/...

Tracy · Tracy

Hi All, had a bit of a slip over past couple of weeks and wanted to share my growth to express how this slip was part of my journey. I have been getting resntful towards mt sober ABF because he is working hard and only getting to 1 meeting a week. He is talking to his AA friends inbetween and doing his reading...

mama24181 · mama24181

So my daughter took off very drunk in her car from ohio to drive down to see friends in north carolina. I knew the route she takes so I called the state police in each state she would be going through and told them she was drunk. What if she killed some a small child , a whole family and she could have killed her...

Gaby · Gaby

I called a counselor actually a intervention counselor. What has me confused is when speaking to this interventionist, he says to me that I do not need to allow my son to hit rock bottom in order for him to get help. I can try to help him before hitting that bottom. I say to him that I have truly done all I can d...

Cathyinaz · Cathyinaz

Hi Everyone Off to shop for Thanksgiving.....I'm so glad I am doing this. I am grateful -- Edited by Cathyinaz on Tuesday 26th of November 2013 02:08:55 PM

Gaby · Gaby

My son has just been caught up in web of lies. I feel my hurt is turning into anger!! I l

scgrl · scgrl

I'm a "newbie" to the board.but an "oldie" in living with alcoholics. Been through 3 interventions with my mom, and married an alcoholic 17 years ago. I apparently learned a lot.right? Basically, the two closest people to me are both alcoholics and we also have four boys to...

ilovedogs · ilovedogs

Oh brother. AH claims that it will be cheaper for him to buy a small house instead of renting. Is he kidding me? He says, even though this separation is going to be short lived, he still wants to invest in a home. I'm not real keen on him using marital assets for a home purchase right now but instead of ro...

Melly1248 · Melly1248

That's my idea for a new reality show...like it? lol. Basically we put a bunch of codependents and a bunch of alcoholics on an island together and the last codependent standing (after the rest have collapsed in a screaming heap or swum out into the open ocean crying hysterically) wins. I feel like a con...

Cathyinaz · Cathyinaz

Good Morning all Today is the day for packing up my things and get ready to take my little vacation to visit my sister. I'm a little anxious but at the same time excited to be going. I have never left others during a holiday to go somewhere by myself. Yes I"M GOING.... I leave tomorrow morning for a...

maryjane · maryjane

I heard a new acronym..... WAIT- Why Am I Talking? This is for when I know I don't have to justify or argue or make my point or explain or anything else. I can just be happy with MY choices.

SerenityRUS · SerenityRUS

It's taken me a long time and every once in a while I can get sucked into the he's really ok and I'm the one who isn't thought process. Then I am given what I call a "gift" a reminder that NOOOO .. I'm doing just fine and stay on MY side of the street and let him do what he's going to do. I have some foo...

Raven Juniper · Raven Juniper

Help...I've fallen, and I can't get up... I'm writing from the bedroom, and I've noticed lately that I don't want to leave the room since the A is out there. The A lives out in the living room on the computer and sleeps on the sofa. When I am home I stay in the bedroom and venture out only for necessities. ...

Rose50 · Rose50

My son called me this evening after no contact for almost 6 weeks. I'm feeling very emotional right now...just hearing his voice and he sounded really sad. I don't know where he was calling from and I didn't ask but he told me his insurance lapsed. I have a feeling he's in a hospital or some medical facili...

el-cee · el-cee

Listening to this saying from old timers in alanon has never meant that much to me before. Living life on lifes terms!! I am getting it though. I think it means accepting people for who they are and not what we want them to be. Not really having expectations of anyone. For example, my son had some money tod...

Clou · Clou

It has taken over 10 years, but I accept that I am powerless over alcoholism and my life is unmanageable. Being married to my AH for over 32 years, and accepting some very unacceptable behavior the last ten years, has taken quite a toll on my life. 10 years ago I organized an intervention for my AH. I th...

Mattie · Mattie

I am trying to use my tools but the situation is getting too much for me -- like using a spoon when you're trying to bail out a sinking boat. Since I've been separated from my A for a number of years now, he's no longer drinking around me, which is excellent. But I'm still paying the price for the fact that I c...

oldergal · oldergal

FOR STINKIN THINKIN!! ONE THAT MOST PEOPLE COULD UNDERSTAND....LOVE TO HEAR IT, THANKS

SpiderArcana · SpiderArcana

I've found a disturbing pattern in myself - as soon as anything at all might be wrong, I start thinking the worst, and working myself up to the point that I'm thinking about divorce. My husband called, but I didn't have a chance to talk to him. He was upset, said it had to do with work. Of course, now I'...

Wisdom67 · Wisdom67

Today is Monday I do know that. My Ahs found a job with a huge cut in pay and has to commute close to 2 hours to work. I'm very depressed lost my Sponser due to her own trouble at home, I manage to lose 3 more friends well they really weren't friends because they all had strings attached to them. I know how to sor...

wornoutmrsfixit · wornoutmrsfixit

I just set my appointment with the attorney to file for divorce. God works in mysterious ways and I prayed for clear vision to see what I needed to see and hear what I needed to hear and boy did he listen. I am proceeding as if AH wasn't sober and no looking back. He is the same controlling, "don't ques...

WorkingThroughIt · WorkingThroughIt

As I become more familiar with Alanon I have heard a few people talk about the "Adult Child movement." On Friday night a man in my group said it happened in the 80s or 90s in Alanon (I forget which.) He said a lot of people in Alanon were upset about it because they don't want to look at their o...

Green Eyes · Green Eyes

So I was talking to one of my long-timer Al-Anon friends yesterday and she informed me that I use sarcasm too much and that it's really a defense mechanism that many of us in Al-Anon use due to being around the alcoholics in our lives. She suggested that I look up the word, "sarcasm," in the Al-...

ilovedogs · ilovedogs

Not sure how I'm going to clean up this mess! My AH got in last night and claims he had a spiritual awakening. He suggested doing a daily devotional together, just out of the blue(it was the first words he basically spoke to me in the past 2 months). I told him I needed to think about it, and then....thin...

Jerry F · Jerry F

Mahalo MIP family for your unconditional love and support in "Sucky, sick feelings" the acceptance allowed me to inventory the event and my part in it and at first I questioned my intentions because it seem no appropriate in subject matter however the inventory reveals the core nature...

Earthmamajenny · Earthmamajenny

Hi...this is my first post here. I haven't been to a meeting in awhile...cause I'm sooo good at detachment when my alcoholic is practicing sobriety....just kidding/poking fun at myself....I've needed to go and have let it slide. I'm currently out of town and my husband stayed home to take care of the...

sadsusie · sadsusie

I guess I should start by saying that it is my..well..lets just say I am hyper emotional. My AH who verbally abused me for 10 years, then got into drugs and hanging out with thugs and being out all night, who then went to Rehab for 20 days..and came out a hugely different person. Treats me differently tri...

Gaby · Gaby

Well today I woke up with an appetite ( which is not the normal fore ). But I woke up better then yesterday. I reached out to my son last night and all I asked was "are you ok, that is all I want to know" well his response was "yes". That was all. Next week the holiday will be here and if thi...

Lyne · Lyne

Thanks to all who supported me in appreciating the blessings I have. And once I gave up my little pity party, I figured out if all were willing, that we could have Thanksgiving dinner on the Sunday after Thanksgiving. They all agreed! This is a blessing. Getting rid of negative makes room for posit...

Minibee · Minibee

Hi i am a 44 year old adult child of an alcoholic father. He drank from before I was born, I left home at 18, I have not had contact with him for more than 12 years. My mum lived with him for 27 years, had 4 children, left him when I was 27. She lives near me. My two sisters are in contact with us and are 4 to 5 hours aw...

Jerry F · Jerry F

This is about seeing the humor in things rather than the critizism. I have a business and one of my clients is a small hotel in Hilo. My office is it's gardens and property and I am beyond blessed. Sometimes the blessing are humor which comes in strange confusing ways. I was clearing the leaves ou...

Topic		Started By	Replies	Views	Last Post
	Need to Vent! (Preview) Happy Thanksgiving MIP family!!! I hope you all are having a blessed day! I am preparing a quick meal for the family and then my son and I are driving a few hours to a tennis tournament, where he has to play early in the AM tomorrow. We'll be gone all weekend. AH is now acting like Mr Perfect Dad. Hanging...	ilovedogs	7	522	Nov 29, 2013 by rehprof
	Happy Thanksgiving.. (Preview) I'm still laying in bed watching a good life time movie at my sister in laws.. At this time I feel at peace.. I was laying here thinking last year at this same time and also 3 years ago at this same time.. My son has ruined my holidays due to his actions.. The only difference is I need to let him go and find his wa...	Gaby	4	260	Nov 29, 2013 by Peggy7
	A reading from 'Hope For Today'... (Preview) Its 29th Nov, already, here in NZ... Our reading is about the classic drunk dad and coping mum type of family. This was my family largely. My mum took the line- if you caint beat em join em... and so she was at the pub too- at least some of the time. I can only quote briefly from 'Hope For Today'. This is out of...	DavidG	5	3737	Nov 29, 2013 by Peggy7
	Thank you (Preview) To all my MIP friends, I want to thank you all for supporting me and encouraging me this past year. I truly would not have made it without your kindness and wisdom. This thanksgiving I am so very grateful for each and every one of you all. Hugs.	ParisMemories	7	297	Nov 29, 2013 by Cathyinaz
	Breakingfree update and Thanksgiving musings (Preview) As Thanksgiving and Christmas roll around I am so happy I live a distance away from all or most of my family of origin. Not to mention I have a hard time celebrating the genocide of the American Indian. I appreciate my friends and children on a regular basis and am thankful for them all the time. I remembe...	Breakingfree	4	366	Nov 29, 2013 by PP
	I am shocked !!!! (Preview) Haha got u all bet you were thinking bad news.. Well I can say we all survived thanksgiving no screaming or fighting no guest nothing extra to bring to our table but good manors . We both been good with keeping to our side of the street the children are right in the middle now so they both our attention . Not s...	Wisdom67	3	406	Nov 29, 2013 by PP
	Sneakin' bites of good food without letting the dogs know.... (Preview)	John	4	334	Nov 28, 2013 by PP
	Things are not going well (Preview) Things aren't going well when I focus on what I don't have. The problem isn't outside of me. The problem - the way I am looking at things - can be changed. When the way I am looking at life changes, life seems to change, too. Today, I am grateful to receive another day that is mine to do with it as I choose....	grateful2be	14	564	Nov 28, 2013 by grateful2be
	Today.... (Preview) Today I pray for the families who still have active addiction in their lives...Holidays are so hard. The littlest things trigger arguments, and in some cases violent words and violent actions. Though I am safe, I feel deeply connected to those people who aren't. Sending you all peace and grace. -- E...	rehprof	3	251	Nov 28, 2013 by likemyheart
	Ugggg depression!!!! (Preview) Just knowing tomorrow is a holiday and knowing I have no control of my son is just depressing to not know what he would be like tomorrow. It's unhealthy for us to be around each other and I feel sad for him. But I can't do nothing and I know that. He has made poor choices and I can't imagine what he will do to num...	Gaby	5	397	Nov 28, 2013 by Cathyinaz
	my heart to your hearts (Preview) to my Goodliest Alanoners....Thanksgiving is upon us...Some of us will have family to share with...Some of us won't....But even still, as I will be alone this T/Giving, I will enjoy being with me and my fur babies....there will be play, treats and gratitude that I am healthy, my pets are healthy, my d...	neshema2	5	350	Nov 28, 2013 by Cathyinaz
	Horrible night last night...now onto Thanksgiving.. (Preview) Last night was horrible...at dinner my AM got really drunk and angry moreso than usual and started cursing out my dad and his family, especially his mom. My dad got very very angry as well. He mentioned he didn't know how much more of this he could take...my heart breaks for him..I know he's hurting SO mu...	phoenixmagicgirl	4	385	Nov 28, 2013 by neshema2
	New to Alanon - Dating a recovering alcoholic (Preview) Hello everyone. I am new to this site. I have been acquainted with my neighbor for nine months and we have both expressed an interest in each other (flirting and a couple of phone conversations over a two month period). At our last phone conversation, he told me he was a recovering alcoholic. My fir...	bluejay99	4	467	Nov 28, 2013 by bluejay99
	Cant log in as myself? (Preview) For some reason, when I log in as normal (Melly1248) it appears to have worked but as soon as I click on a post or on my messages or anything it logs me straight out and says I must log in to continue! It was working earlier! It's working fine with this different username so it can't be a pc issue. Clues, anyon...	melly2	15	518	Nov 28, 2013 by grateful2be
	Trying to be grateful (Preview) Tomorrow my family comes for thanksgiving dinner. Every year I use my moms silver on the table. My mom passed 12 years ago and this is one of the few things of hers that I have now. She bought this silverware when she was a young woman in the late 1950s. She was proud to be earning her own money and saving thes...	ParisMemories	3	280	Nov 28, 2013 by SerenityRUS
	Thanks Giving (Preview) I am thankful for enough income to meet my outgo. I am thankful for the great number of people in my every day life who are pleasant and make me laugh. I am thankful for jobs that fulfill me. I am thankful for friends that smile when I come through the door. *ya know, this might be the best one, eh? I am thankfu...	likemyheart	5	310	Nov 28, 2013 by SerenityRUS
	THINKING THE WORSE? (Preview) Why is it most everyone thinks the worst and not the best, I mean some of us can run ramped with the worse imaginations, is there a psychology to this? When did we become so negative? Is it because we want to b ready for the worst? Its a terrible habit i would love to drop immediately .... og	oldergal	3	528	Nov 28, 2013 by flinn66
	Scared of Thanksgiving (Preview) I have been in al-anon for about 6 months & have a sponsor. I have been unable to attend meetings & meet with her past couple weeks b/c of reall bad morning sickness from my pregnancy. My father went to intensive outpatient rehab about 6 months ago? He completed the program but still had some den...	Living508	2	351	Nov 28, 2013 by flinn66
	And, thank God I know better now. (Preview) Decided to jump headfirst into the housework today. It was a shambles around here, and I was finally sick of it enough to roll up my sleeves. ABF wandered out while I was cleaning and asked "do you want me to help?" I responded- "I don't like the term "help" but you are welcome...	Melly1248	17	707	Nov 27, 2013 by likemyheart
	Grateful (Preview) Hello all, It has been awhile since I have posted.....today I post because I am grateful!!!! I am grateful for the people I have met in these rooms....particularly a couple of amazing women who gave me such much needed reminders last night. It was just what I needed and I thank you....MsP and Senora t...	Andrea12	1	254	Nov 27, 2013 by grateful2be
	STOP POKING ME! (Preview) There are things my daughter does that irritate me and things that can make my blood boil, momentarily but these things are usually very brief flare-ups because, lets face it, she's an awesome kid and she's pretty hard to be angry with. But this thing that she's started doing? It's different. It makes...	Melly1248	13	721	Nov 27, 2013 by Tasha
	Wednesday Morning (Preview) Good Morning All Sister and I are still in PJ's, no makeup and messy hair. Fixing table for Thanksgiving	Cathyinaz	8	407	Nov 27, 2013 by AngelicH57
	leftovers and dogs (Preview) Hi all, I little update on some things going on in my life. I kind of wanted to write them out for myself, and figured I would share. ESH welcome. My AH is 3.5 months dry - no program of recovery. Last night I went out to an annual friends vegan Thanksgiving. I've been a vegan for about 7 years and a vegetar...	gingerfizz	10	572	Nov 27, 2013 by grateful2be
	Thanksgiving trip (Preview) I am going out of town for my Thanksgiving Feast. Since this person is anti computers I will have no access to our wonderful site and will return late Friday evening. I pray that each and everyone of My MIP Family Is Blessed with a Thanksgiving Day that is filled with Higher Power's Unconditiona...	hotrod	11	294	Nov 27, 2013 by Rose50
	Need some esh !!!! (Preview) Well my son and I texted last night. I am trying my best to really just let him find his way, but I always seem to do it wrong. He shared that his job let him go. I was not surprised. As he already knows he has been down this path do to his addiction. I want some advise?? I told my son I loved him and pray that the hol...	Gaby	5	399	Nov 27, 2013 by Rose50
	Holiday Freakout! (Preview) The holidays are not in control YOU are in control of yourself....don't let them freak you out. Id say the only thing you need to do is be grateful for the things you have. Ask for help if you need it...holidays r for enjoyment and celebration. Don't let family overwhelm you with tradition that has to be p...	oldergal	1	252	Nov 27, 2013 by grateful2be
	Practice and Recommitment (Preview) MIPers, I need your help to stop my last hour from turning into a full-blown slip :). Thank you so much for whatever ESH you have to offer to keep me on track!! I posted a few weeks ago about how challenging it has been for me that my partner is so busy with work and school. Now, it's Thanksgiving eve and my co...	BlueCloud	1	300	Nov 27, 2013 by Jerry F
	Alanon, and other addictions...? (Preview) ... how much tolerance does this forum have for family members of other addictions- ? that is apart from alcohol addiction. I know we family members tip-toe around some topics- it is what we are used to back in the day! we are in the USA in 2011 [and plan to be back next year....]. I did not get to Alanon mee...	DavidG	16	853	Nov 27, 2013 by DavidG
	Can I Vent?? (Preview) Well, I put a note in my husband's truck last night telling him that I was moving forward with divorce plans. I did that because when we discuss, it so often turns into an argument and we end up saying more hurtful things. So sick of every conversation, even pleasant ones, being a land mine. Anyway, I had S...	wornoutmrsfixit	7	515	Nov 27, 2013 by ilovedogs
	trust (Preview) Last night in my F2F meeting our topic was what we learned about trust in our childhoods. Well what I learned was to "trust" people that abused me and let me down. And I have carried this all through my life, including my current A spouse. I think everyone I have been close to has hurt me and/...	Lyne	2	305	Nov 27, 2013 by el-cee
	Triangle upside down and laerning patience. (Preview) Hi All, had a bit of a slip over past couple of weeks and wanted to share my growth to express how this slip was part of my journey. I have been getting resntful towards mt sober ABF because he is working hard and only getting to 1 meeting a week. He is talking to his AA friends inbetween and doing his reading...	Tracy	3	368	Nov 27, 2013 by oldergal
	Tough Love tough love dui (Preview) So my daughter took off very drunk in her car from ohio to drive down to see friends in north carolina. I knew the route she takes so I called the state police in each state she would be going through and told them she was drunk. What if she killed some a small child , a whole family and she could have killed her...	mama24181	14	889	Nov 27, 2013 by WorkingThroughIt
	Very confused.. (Preview) I called a counselor actually a intervention counselor. What has me confused is when speaking to this interventionist, he says to me that I do not need to allow my son to hit rock bottom in order for him to get help. I can try to help him before hitting that bottom. I say to him that I have truly done all I can d...	Gaby	8	521	Nov 27, 2013 by WorkingThroughIt
	Relaxed and having a good time (Preview) Hi Everyone Off to shop for Thanksgiving.....I'm so glad I am doing this. I am grateful -- Edited by Cathyinaz on Tuesday 26th of November 2013 02:08:55 PM	Cathyinaz	12	439	Nov 27, 2013 by Melly1248
	Just a web of lies.. (Preview) My son has just been caught up in web of lies. I feel my hurt is turning into anger!! I l	Gaby	8	541	Nov 27, 2013 by neshema2
	So happy to find this board!! (Preview) I'm a "newbie" to the board.but an "oldie" in living with alcoholics. Been through 3 interventions with my mom, and married an alcoholic 17 years ago. I apparently learned a lot.right? Basically, the two closest people to me are both alcoholics and we also have four boys to...	scgrl	6	323	Nov 27, 2013 by Peggy7
	He wants to buy a HOUSE???? (Preview) Oh brother. AH claims that it will be cheaper for him to buy a small house instead of renting. Is he kidding me? He says, even though this separation is going to be short lived, he still wants to invest in a home. I'm not real keen on him using marital assets for a home purchase right now but instead of ro...	ilovedogs	10	572	Nov 27, 2013 by SerenityRUS
	So you think you're detached... (Preview) That's my idea for a new reality show...like it? lol. Basically we put a bunch of codependents and a bunch of alcoholics on an island together and the last codependent standing (after the rest have collapsed in a screaming heap or swum out into the open ocean crying hysterically) wins. I feel like a con...	Melly1248	15	700	Nov 26, 2013 by Mari1978
	Getting ready to go (Preview) Good Morning all Today is the day for packing up my things and get ready to take my little vacation to visit my sister. I'm a little anxious but at the same time excited to be going. I have never left others during a holiday to go somewhere by myself. Yes I"M GOING.... I leave tomorrow morning for a...	Cathyinaz	22	588	Nov 26, 2013 by John
	WAIT (Preview) I heard a new acronym..... WAIT- Why Am I Talking? This is for when I know I don't have to justify or argue or make my point or explain or anything else. I can just be happy with MY choices.	maryjane	11	744	Nov 26, 2013 by Jerry F
	Seeing things Differently (Preview) It's taken me a long time and every once in a while I can get sucked into the he's really ok and I'm the one who isn't thought process. Then I am given what I call a "gift" a reminder that NOOOO .. I'm doing just fine and stay on MY side of the street and let him do what he's going to do. I have some foo...	SerenityRUS	4	456	Nov 26, 2013 by abbyalana
	Stuck in a Rut (Preview) Help...I've fallen, and I can't get up... I'm writing from the bedroom, and I've noticed lately that I don't want to leave the room since the A is out there. The A lives out in the living room on the computer and sleeps on the sofa. When I am home I stay in the bedroom and venture out only for necessities. ...	Raven Juniper	8	667	Nov 26, 2013 by SerenityRUS
	Call from my son (Preview) My son called me this evening after no contact for almost 6 weeks. I'm feeling very emotional right now...just hearing his voice and he sounded really sad. I don't know where he was calling from and I didn't ask but he told me his insurance lapsed. I have a feeling he's in a hospital or some medical facili...	Rose50	12	524	Nov 26, 2013 by Debilyn
	Life on life's terms (Preview) Listening to this saying from old timers in alanon has never meant that much to me before. Living life on lifes terms!! I am getting it though. I think it means accepting people for who they are and not what we want them to be. Not really having expectations of anyone. For example, my son had some money tod...	el-cee	8	1443	Nov 26, 2013 by el-cee
	Acceptance and looking forward to the next chapter (Preview) It has taken over 10 years, but I accept that I am powerless over alcoholism and my life is unmanageable. Being married to my AH for over 32 years, and accepting some very unacceptable behavior the last ten years, has taken quite a toll on my life. 10 years ago I organized an intervention for my AH. I th...	Clou	7	415	Nov 26, 2013 by PP
	Things are not going well (Preview) I am trying to use my tools but the situation is getting too much for me -- like using a spoon when you're trying to bail out a sinking boat. Since I've been separated from my A for a number of years now, he's no longer drinking around me, which is excellent. But I'm still paying the price for the fact that I c...	Mattie	13	630	Nov 26, 2013 by rehprof
	DOES ANYONE HAVE A GOOD DESCRIPTION (Preview) FOR STINKIN THINKIN!! ONE THAT MOST PEOPLE COULD UNDERSTAND....LOVE TO HEAR IT, THANKS	oldergal	13	924	Nov 26, 2013 by ClearTheFog
	Running for the hills (Preview) I've found a disturbing pattern in myself - as soon as anything at all might be wrong, I start thinking the worst, and working myself up to the point that I'm thinking about divorce. My husband called, but I didn't have a chance to talk to him. He was upset, said it had to do with work. Of course, now I'...	SpiderArcana	3	323	Nov 25, 2013 by grateful2be
	Update;;(( (Preview) Today is Monday I do know that. My Ahs found a job with a huge cut in pay and has to commute close to 2 hours to work. I'm very depressed lost my Sponser due to her own trouble at home, I manage to lose 3 more friends well they really weren't friends because they all had strings attached to them. I know how to sor...	Wisdom67	3	273	Nov 26, 2013 by PP
	Limbo Is Over (Preview) I just set my appointment with the attorney to file for divorce. God works in mysterious ways and I prayed for clear vision to see what I needed to see and hear what I needed to hear and boy did he listen. I am proceeding as if AH wasn't sober and no looking back. He is the same controlling, "don't ques...	wornoutmrsfixit	10	548	Nov 25, 2013 by ilovedogs
	The "Adult Child Movement" (Preview) As I become more familiar with Alanon I have heard a few people talk about the "Adult Child movement." On Friday night a man in my group said it happened in the 80s or 90s in Alanon (I forget which.) He said a lot of people in Alanon were upset about it because they don't want to look at their o...	WorkingThroughIt	17	1667	Nov 25, 2013 by WorkingThroughIt
	Is Sarcasm Really a Shortcoming? (Preview) So I was talking to one of my long-timer Al-Anon friends yesterday and she informed me that I use sarcasm too much and that it's really a defense mechanism that many of us in Al-Anon use due to being around the alcoholics in our lives. She suggested that I look up the word, "sarcasm," in the Al-...	Green Eyes	17	4100	Nov 25, 2013 by Green Eyes
	I made a mess! (Preview) Not sure how I'm going to clean up this mess! My AH got in last night and claims he had a spiritual awakening. He suggested doing a daily devotional together, just out of the blue(it was the first words he basically spoke to me in the past 2 months). I told him I needed to think about it, and then....thin...	ilovedogs	24	877	Nov 25, 2013 by SerenityRUS
	Gratitude... (Preview) Mahalo MIP family for your unconditional love and support in "Sucky, sick feelings" the acceptance allowed me to inventory the event and my part in it and at first I questioned my intentions because it seem no appropriate in subject matter however the inventory reveals the core nature...	Jerry F	7	488	Nov 25, 2013 by tiredtonite
	Suspect relapse (Preview) Hi...this is my first post here. I haven't been to a meeting in awhile...cause I'm sooo good at detachment when my alcoholic is practicing sobriety....just kidding/poking fun at myself....I've needed to go and have let it slide. I'm currently out of town and my husband stayed home to take care of the...	Earthmamajenny	4	406	Nov 25, 2013 by grateful2be
	OH My Gosh I am in the middle of a BREAKDOWN! (Preview) I guess I should start by saying that it is my..well..lets just say I am hyper emotional. My AH who verbally abused me for 10 years, then got into drugs and hanging out with thugs and being out all night, who then went to Rehab for 20 days..and came out a hugely different person. Treats me differently tri...	sadsusie	7	506	Nov 24, 2013 by grateful2be
	Good morning.. (Preview) Well today I woke up with an appetite ( which is not the normal fore ). But I woke up better then yesterday. I reached out to my son last night and all I asked was "are you ok, that is all I want to know" well his response was "yes". That was all. Next week the holiday will be here and if thi...	Gaby	2	299	Nov 25, 2013 by SerenityRUS
	Thanksgiving update (Preview) Thanks to all who supported me in appreciating the blessings I have. And once I gave up my little pity party, I figured out if all were willing, that we could have Thanksgiving dinner on the Sunday after Thanksgiving. They all agreed! This is a blessing. Getting rid of negative makes room for posit...	Lyne	6	307	Nov 25, 2013 by grateful2be
	my non alcoholic mum is turning into the alcoholic in my life ....help adult child critical parent help (Preview) Hi i am a 44 year old adult child of an alcoholic father. He drank from before I was born, I left home at 18, I have not had contact with him for more than 12 years. My mum lived with him for 27 years, had 4 children, left him when I was 27. She lives near me. My two sisters are in contact with us and are 4 to 5 hours aw...	Minibee	3	7341	Nov 24, 2013 by Minibee
	Leaf Blowing.... (Preview) This is about seeing the humor in things rather than the critizism. I have a business and one of my clients is a small hotel in Hilo. My office is it's gardens and property and I am beyond blessed. Sometimes the blessing are humor which comes in strange confusing ways. I was clearing the leaves ou...	Jerry F	19	594	Nov 24, 2013 by Tasha
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The material presented here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method to exchange information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal level.