Al-Anon Family Group - Al-Anon Family Group

midori · midori

Hi. I'm new. So there may be a few blunders or redundancies. I'm not quite sure how I got here, what particular train of thought let me to Google, or why I felt compelled to search "who else is sick of alcohol?" But it led me straight to this forum and here I am. It's not like anything really bad h...

Gaby · Gaby

My son called said he is done living this life..! He said he needs medical help.. All the other times I would put him in sober livings or Christian rehabs. But he admits that it maybe more then that. I don't know if I doing right, but I will take him to seek medical help and see how true he is about this. This is...

texas yankee · texas yankee

Today's reading in One Day at a Time in Al Anon talks about detachment - it has always been one of my big challenges - I think I understand part of detachment, about not jumping in to fix things and letting the alcoholic \ addict have responsibility for his \ her actions - but in today's reading it talks abo...

hotrod · hotrod

http://stepwork.activeboard.com/t56158773/step-9-alanon/

oldergal · oldergal

There it is Jerry, you put it in a nutshell: Projection, Fortune Telling and Expectations.... isn't that what we think is going to work for us! Until we wake up to Al-anon.....! og

neshema2 · neshema2

I was outside, getting ready to brave the cold and go to the club...hoodie on, and i notice that my little shrub that i nursed through summer, trying to keep it alive, finally died...I was sad, but dug up the little shriveled thing that was dry as a bone..No life in it and i look up and daughter #2 is pulling...

barbaralewis · barbaralewis

i can understand why each group has steps, but if it is "not my fault" and beyond my control, then what does the alanon-er have to confess to and make amends to/for? why are the steps the same? it seems like that means it IS my fault. it sure makes you feel like a failure when both of your children...

Jerry F · Jerry F

Aloha Ohana...My HP loves me unconditionally and loves to see me smile and laugh. Yesterday I went to my "other" morning home meeting "at the bay" and I got there just a minute late cause first things first...breakfast with my spouse (priority in the marriage) and as I was wa...

Anise · Anise

I am so confused about my AH. We went on a family holiday for a week over Christmas. It went very well because my AH didn't drink too much. But as soon as we got home he was back at it. When he is home he sits at the computer playing a game all day (pretty much from the time he gets up til he goes to bed) and drinking...

Raven Juniper · Raven Juniper

It looks like the roommate thing is a go. I talked to the guy last night, and he most likely will be here on Tuesday. Money's going to be tight at first while the roommate finds a job, but it's not an issue to me because I've been living this way for a long time and I've made it...so far so good :) My son is also on...

TryingHard2013 · TryingHard2013

So I got home from California this morning and she was packed. Told me she wanted a divorce, said she would not stop seeing the other woman. That she hated me that she had been unhappy since we met and that I was the reason she drank and never smiled. I knew this was coming like a coiled serpent waiting to spr...

wornoutmrsfixit · wornoutmrsfixit

I started out writing this for myself because my thoughts and feelings are so scattered and sometimes I write more clearly than I think. I decided to post it since I could use a little ESH and it may help someone else out too. The things that I wanted for my AH are happening. He is making a legitimate attemp...

MorningGlory · MorningGlory

Hi Everyone! We live in the Northeast. Husband and I both have to get to work in the am and I also drop my youngest adult child at the train station (he commutes to work). Well, last night as my husband was watching the impending snowstorm on the news, he comments, "So, what am I doing tomorrow?"...

jillybean1 · jillybean1

So out of the blue he says........I've had enough. He called his AA buddies, got his supplies (vitamins, juice, water) and so it began. He only asked me to watch him in case it got so bad that he had to go to the hospital. I said, "sure I can do that." He was sick but got thru it. At about day 4 h...

neshema2 · neshema2

Today i had my eval at the club.... young hard body little lady approaches me and shakes my hand and takes me to her office for the health questions....then she asks me my age....i tell her and she looks at me like i am NUTS!!!! Good feeing for me....I am gonna like this girl.....she was no way believing i...

Melly1248 · Melly1248

Sigh. Ooops. Had a 2 day "honeymoon" as ABF "quit" drinking on New years Day and was charming, sweet and delightful for the duration of his sobriety. I know better than to believe it is anything more than a blip, but it's hard not to enjoy the relaxed, friendly atmosphere when it m...

Cathyinaz · Cathyinaz

I'm thinking about you all in the east during this show storm. Prayers that you stay warm and safe. I wish I could send a little sun from AZ.....this pic taken at work. -- Edited by Cathyinaz on Friday 3rd of January 2014 11:16:29 PM

lgnutah · lgnutah

This morning I woke with a cough/cold/headache so just lounging on sofanwatching rose bowl and some morning talk show excerpt. They interviewed author of "just one word". He said people rarely keep list of new years resolutions. His idea (abbreviated by me, as I understand it) is inst...

TryingHard2013 · TryingHard2013

I just landed in JFK. In about an hour I will be f2f with my AW. During my long flight home I had a lot of time to read posts and think about detachment and boundaries. I decided that I will need a boundary if this marraige has a chance. I will go to couples counseling. I will encourage family activities. But f...

atheos · atheos

I've decided I want to start every morning off with 10-15 minutes of Al-Anon related activity. Sort of a daily practice to keep me grounded in the program and get the day off to a positive start. Read from a daily reader and... something! I haven't figured out what the "something" should be y...

tweety23 · tweety23

I was just looking at FB and someone posted some 20-25 yr old (high school or college?) pics one of which had AH in it. Everyone looks so cute and fresh faced and he is leaning hard on someone, with a drink in his hand (ONLY person with a drink) and just this totally out of it expression. This is around when we...

TryingHard2013 · TryingHard2013

Today I fly back to the northeast with my daughter. My AW has been there since 01/01. Being apart from her felt good. I felt stronger I did not miss her. I did not long for her to see how much I loved her and how the last 11 years are in ruin because of her behavior the last three months. I started to feel detache...

msjuliet · msjuliet

Dear Al-Anon Members, Thank you for taking the time to read my post. I am in a difficult situation, because a few months ago I ended my relationship with an ex-boyfriend who is in inpatient treatment recovering from a heroin addiction. Under normal circumstances, a breakup would be much easier to han...

neshema2 · neshema2

At work today, I am slammed...Busy as a bee.....I worked 5 hours instead of the 3-4 it has been....5 hours is NOT a rarity, I have worked that many many times before...In fact: Because I am careful and do it right the first time, I actually get more done in less time becuz I am careful and this is YEAR END ti...

In The Forest · In The Forest

I have been checking in here off and on for over a year and I've made a few posts. My husband is a binge drinker and can go long periods of time without drinking. This makes it very easy for me to be lulled into a false sense if security. I decided quite a while back ago that I needed the support of Alanon and sho...

oldergal · oldergal

The Serenity Prayer God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change; courage to change the things I can; and wisdom to know the difference. Living one day at a time; Enjoying one moment at a time; Accepting hardships as the pathway to peace; Taking, as He did, this sinful world as it is, not...

Tracy · Tracy

Hi all, need to just write on here and clear my mind its going a bit AWOL!! I have the focus on myself, my life , recovery 99% of the time and then BANG, I loose my focus. People in my life have been affected by different illness e.g my mum is a codependent adult child. I have learnt to accept and detach i love he...

Beatrice · Beatrice

HELLO EVERY ONE , HAPPY NEW YEAR!

MorningGlory · MorningGlory

It is true, I have been lurking for some time. New year- new beginnings. I wanted to finally introduce myself to all of you and say that you are an amazing group. I have been taking Jerry's expert advice and really really listening. I hope eventually I can offer some useful ESH. I drank, smoked, and drugg...

SerenityRUS · SerenityRUS

So after freaking my kiddo out by all of the contact again .. we are back to no contact and I'm ok with that at this point. Honestly so is she. She doesn't trust his motives and neither do I. The therapist says it's better for her not to have contact with him at this point. So I'm taking her at her advice an...

Hoot Nanny · Hoot Nanny

Boy, it is not easy to get this typed. I am dealing w/ a new computer at the library--free internet service. I guess I shouldn't complain. I am frustrated though. I don't need to get feedback from this post. I just need to say Hello & that I am still on the right track! Kathleen

Breakingfree · Breakingfree

We had an agreement that while he took on the responsibility of my 5 year old to live with him an hour and a half away he would remain sober and actually begged me for the opportunity saying he needed this chance. So I per usual trust an A and go along with the agreement, but he was meeting with an AA sponsor an...

Beatrice · Beatrice

This is Bettina under another name, I purchased a new lap top and have been trying to get back in for over a month. The website just would not recognize me or let me back in. Anyway, glad to be back. What's new?? I really missed coming here and missed you all, HAPY NEW YEAR! hugs Bettina

neshema2 · neshema2

Hey you all Between the club and work, especially w/this old returning client who is probably a disaster, AND my home schooling me in income Taxes (an event I have to do ea. year) I am gonna be busy....this first Quarter and into April is my "HOPEFULLY" money making time I am gonna pace my...

Geeg · Geeg

I am an alanon newbie. However I am in AA myself and have been sober for 2 1/2 years. I met my fiance in treatment. We were just aquaintences, then friends, then started dating a year later. We are engaged and living together. Getting married in 2 months. I love the man and don't plan on leaving him....

milkwood · milkwood

Happy New Year to all my friends on MIP.

I've been pondering about the past few years and in particular thinking about some of the things that I've been told that drove me mad when I first heard them which then turned out to be hugely helpful and enlightening. I remember being furious, feeling let dow...

Breakingfree · Breakingfree

It seems to me every year with al-anon, my sponsor, MIP and the steps life gets better and I get healthier. After 3 years of al-anon I can only look forward to another year of feeling and growing out of the old me and blossoming into the new me. I no longer blame anyone else for the way my life is turning out, b...

Gaby · Gaby

I get a call today this morning from our local hospital stating that my son was there getting ready to get discharged and wanted me to go get him to drive him to our local mental health. I told the nurse if he is already there and he is thinking of suicide then you guys should transport him. Well then she said...

Melly1248 · Melly1248

PP · PP

Blaming yourself or someone else is usually a way of avoiding some painful but significant realization. I just read this and thought "this is a keeper for me". Perhaps it will be useful for someone else, too.

msjuliet · msjuliet

From an outsiders perspective, like most of you, I am kind, loyal, strong-willed, skillful, hardworking, and empathetic, and yet very few people are aware I was in a relationship with a drug addict. My goal was always to enable the addict first by keeping his disease top secret from anyone who loved a...

Living508 · Living508

I've been a member of alanon for about 7 months. One thing i can't get relief from is my constant fear of my father's death. I worry about it often. I am terrified of the pain i will feel. I am 30 my A father is in his early 50's. Please help me :(

MeTwo2 · MeTwo2

So, my family that came together for Christmas and my mother's funeral are gone back home now. Sad to see, this wasn't a 'family gathering. This was more or less a defect fest .. (No criticising .. what I judge in them either was in me or still is) .. I saw my part, however .. my sister's are 13 years older t...

msjuliet · msjuliet

Dear Al-Anon members, For the last few months, I have been silently recovering from a breakup with my ex-boyfriend who was a former heroin (opiate) addict (in treatment for the 3rd time) in Tampa, FL. My story goes something like this: Met this wonderful, amazing, good looking guy in his late 20s c...

grateful2be · grateful2be

Does anyone know how to send a personal photo from a home computer through our PM system? There seems to be no attachment button and I'm not sure what insert URL means. Thanks.

KennyFenderjazz · KennyFenderjazz

I think that I have a great alternative meaning to MIP: Meeting In my Pocket I'm loving doing this, it really is like being able to attend a lot of mini meetings throughout the day! I don't have many meetings in my area so this is a great supplement to F2F meetings. Thanks for listening to me, I will kee...

SpiderArcana · SpiderArcana

Once I learned how to set boundaries for myself one of them what that I wouldn't get dragged into the 'poor me' party my husband sometimes throws for himself. He's been in a mood lately, so when a co-worker called in and left him with a crap-ton of work today, he started texting me. Him: So (co-worker) ca...

Hoot Nanny · Hoot Nanny

Yeah, I think it is possible that I could be working on a new me. I went to the meeting I have been missing & am already getting a new perspective. I am already seeing things differently. It seems easier. I don't know if it going to last but my head is clearer. I am enjoying sleeping in even though I eat br...

1911A1 · 1911A1

...DRAMA addict, that is! My mom was the queen of, well, drama queens. Her moods would swing wildly and unpredictably, which gave rise to the hypervigilance that is a hallmark of an ACOA. (Disclaimer: neither of my parents were alcoholics, but the family disease "infected" them - and...

oldergal · oldergal

When I first came to this forum/board I listened first, and then when I decided I was brave enough to post I did. Knowing that anything I said or revealed or asked would be fair game to any one on this public message board. I knew there was kindness and understanding here, but I also knew that this board is w...

Oats · Oats

This morning I find myself feeling like I am slipping into a dark, deep hole of hopelessness. I am trying hard to turn over my son to my HP. We have had several years of all of this pain and anxiety trying to deal with the beast of a disease. I feel like we are losing the battle and he is slipping away throug...

neshema2 · neshema2

I discovered something about me since joining this club...... I drive into the parking lot and i see new SUV's and the "hard body" chicks walking in w/their up to date gym attire and i see them on their Iphone 5s's and I look at me I drive a Ford Ranger, now 12 years old, but kept nice, I use an Ipho...

barbaralewis · barbaralewis

she went to crisis intervention ctr, rehab, left rehab ama, faked sobriety, attempted suicide, was hospitalized, send to state hosp as 1013, then another rehab for a month, which worked...she has been out for 3 mos. she goes to 2-3 mtgs a day plus out pt counceling and meds. she is proud of her monthly...

Diva · Diva

he ended up being flown to Philadelphia for some kind of emergency surgery. I don't know what kind of surgery except that it was abdominal and no doubt exacerbated by his alcoholism. He named me as his emergency contact, but I have done no "contacting." I have come to the point of thinki...

sadsusie · sadsusie

Happy New year. I say that with just a twinge of sarcasm. Just a twinge. I suppose I always hang on to a little bit of hope the my AH finally realizes that he needs to take action. I imagine that he is letting his denial cloud how crappy this disease is, which makes it easier to postpone his recovery. Well, t...

New User - someone to listen? · Hopingfor

Hi all, I am a new user to this site and a little bit nervous but here goes.... I have been with my ABF for nearly six years and living together for 5, I say he is an alcoholic but the truth is I am not sure what he is, a possible binge drinker but is it the same thing? Sorry I don't want to offend anyone with the inc...

neshema2 · neshema2

well, today is Jan 1, 2014....I am lookin forward with an open, positive mind..... headed out to my new club to "play" and i need it... last night my ptsd began to kick in.....as ny eve was one time i at age 15, to get away frm the offender's advances, I locked myself in the bathroom w/a bottle of...

Jerry F · Jerry F

I got rained down on Monday and promised a make up today and so I went in. No rain today other than a very very gentle drizzle just when work was done...kinda a kiss. When I started an elderly couple walked from the lobby to seaside to enjoy the view...it was enjoyable and always is after a storm. Upon t...

neshema2 · neshema2

Hey all WEnt to club and was not "myself" but mostly myself and i met this really neat lady and she had a basketball and she said "you play???" I told her all my trophies were in either tennis or pool (billiards) or horse shows, lol...No basketball, but I used to play in HS.... so w...

imom · imom

The other day, I was watching a morning talk show and a life coach was on discussing goals in the new year. She suggested leaving the crumbs behind so you can eat the cake. I really like this suggestion. I have been obsessed with the crap my AH has put us through. He is in recovery and doing well, and when...

Topic		Started By	Replies	Views	Last Post
	I. Hate. Alcohol. (Preview) Hi. I'm new. So there may be a few blunders or redundancies. I'm not quite sure how I got here, what particular train of thought let me to Google, or why I felt compelled to search "who else is sick of alcohol?" But it led me straight to this forum and here I am. It's not like anything really bad h...	midori	22	769	Jan 6, 2014 by phoenixmagicgirl
	When do you know they want help?? (Preview) My son called said he is done living this life..! He said he needs medical help.. All the other times I would put him in sober livings or Christian rehabs. But he admits that it maybe more then that. I don't know if I doing right, but I will take him to seek medical help and see how true he is about this. This is...	Gaby	14	634	Jan 5, 2014 by Debilyn
	Guidance on detaching WITH LOVE ?? (Preview) Today's reading in One Day at a Time in Al Anon talks about detachment - it has always been one of my big challenges - I think I understand part of detachment, about not jumping in to fix things and letting the alcoholic \ addict have responsibility for his \ her actions - but in today's reading it talks abo...	texas yankee	23	678	Jan 5, 2014 by texas yankee
	Step 9 (Preview) http://stepwork.activeboard.com/t56158773/step-9-alanon/	hotrod	0	352	Jan 5, 2014 by hotrod
	P F & E (Preview) There it is Jerry, you put it in a nutshell: Projection, Fortune Telling and Expectations.... isn't that what we think is going to work for us! Until we wake up to Al-anon.....! og	oldergal	3	294	Jan 5, 2014 by karma13
	Detachment and yes...With Love (Preview) I was outside, getting ready to brave the cold and go to the club...hoodie on, and i notice that my little shrub that i nursed through summer, trying to keep it alive, finally died...I was sad, but dug up the little shriveled thing that was dry as a bone..No life in it and i look up and daughter #2 is pulling...	neshema2	3	448	Jan 5, 2014 by PP
	why are aa, na, and alanon steps all the same? (Preview) i can understand why each group has steps, but if it is "not my fault" and beyond my control, then what does the alanon-er have to confess to and make amends to/for? why are the steps the same? it seems like that means it IS my fault. it sure makes you feel like a failure when both of your children...	barbaralewis	11	557	Jan 5, 2014 by barbaralewis
	Blessed...really (Preview) Aloha Ohana...My HP loves me unconditionally and loves to see me smile and laugh. Yesterday I went to my "other" morning home meeting "at the bay" and I got there just a minute late cause first things first...breakfast with my spouse (priority in the marriage) and as I was wa...	Jerry F	7	366	Jan 5, 2014 by hotrod
	I'm so scared for him. (Preview) I am so confused about my AH. We went on a family holiday for a week over Christmas. It went very well because my AH didn't drink too much. But as soon as we got home he was back at it. When he is home he sits at the computer playing a game all day (pretty much from the time he gets up til he goes to bed) and drinking...	Anise	8	506	Jan 5, 2014 by Breakingfree
	So far so good... (Preview) It looks like the roommate thing is a go. I talked to the guy last night, and he most likely will be here on Tuesday. Money's going to be tight at first while the roommate finds a job, but it's not an issue to me because I've been living this way for a long time and I've made it...so far so good :) My son is also on...	Raven Juniper	4	420	Jan 5, 2014 by Raven Juniper
	My AW left today (Preview) So I got home from California this morning and she was packed. Told me she wanted a divorce, said she would not stop seeing the other woman. That she hated me that she had been unhappy since we met and that I was the reason she drank and never smiled. I knew this was coming like a coiled serpent waiting to spr...	TryingHard2013	10	603	Jan 5, 2014 by Beatrice
	Very Aware of Time Slipping By (Preview) I started out writing this for myself because my thoughts and feelings are so scattered and sometimes I write more clearly than I think. I decided to post it since I could use a little ESH and it may help someone else out too. The things that I wanted for my AH are happening. He is making a legitimate attemp...	wornoutmrsfixit	18	810	Jan 5, 2014 by likemyheart
	No Fishing Allowed (Preview) Hi Everyone! We live in the Northeast. Husband and I both have to get to work in the am and I also drop my youngest adult child at the train station (he commutes to work). Well, last night as my husband was watching the impending snowstorm on the news, he comments, "So, what am I doing tomorrow?"...	MorningGlory	12	501	Jan 5, 2014 by MorningGlory
	He decided to stop and it got worse.... (Preview) So out of the blue he says........I've had enough. He called his AA buddies, got his supplies (vitamins, juice, water) and so it began. He only asked me to watch him in case it got so bad that he had to go to the hospital. I said, "sure I can do that." He was sick but got thru it. At about day 4 h...	jillybean1	12	664	Jan 5, 2014 by MorningGlory
	when being called a "freak" feels good (Preview) Today i had my eval at the club.... young hard body little lady approaches me and shakes my hand and takes me to her office for the health questions....then she asks me my age....i tell her and she looks at me like i am NUTS!!!! Good feeing for me....I am gonna like this girl.....she was no way believing i...	neshema2	10	536	Jan 4, 2014 by grateful2be
	Made myself feel icky. Now what? (Preview) Sigh. Ooops. Had a 2 day "honeymoon" as ABF "quit" drinking on New years Day and was charming, sweet and delightful for the duration of his sobriety. I know better than to believe it is anything more than a blip, but it's hard not to enjoy the relaxed, friendly atmosphere when it m...	Melly1248	26	803	Jan 4, 2014 by grateful2be
	Take care Friend in the East (Preview) I'm thinking about you all in the east during this show storm. Prayers that you stay warm and safe. I wish I could send a little sun from AZ.....this pic taken at work. -- Edited by Cathyinaz on Friday 3rd of January 2014 11:16:29 PM	Cathyinaz	27	618	Jan 4, 2014 by grateful2be
	my "one word" (Preview) This morning I woke with a cough/cold/headache so just lounging on sofanwatching rose bowl and some morning talk show excerpt. They interviewed author of "just one word". He said people rarely keep list of new years resolutions. His idea (abbreviated by me, as I understand it) is inst...	lgnutah	17	1103	Jan 4, 2014 by Tricia911
	Courage and boundaries (Preview) I just landed in JFK. In about an hour I will be f2f with my AW. During my long flight home I had a lot of time to read posts and think about detachment and boundaries. I decided that I will need a boundary if this marraige has a chance. I will go to couples counseling. I will encourage family activities. But f...	TryingHard2013	9	501	Jan 4, 2014 by neshema2
	Anyone have a morning Al-Anon routine? (Preview) I've decided I want to start every morning off with 10-15 minutes of Al-Anon related activity. Sort of a daily practice to keep me grounded in the program and get the day off to a positive start. Read from a daily reader and... something! I haven't figured out what the "something" should be y...	atheos	11	1175	Jan 4, 2014 by abbyal
	Just a WHOA moment (Preview) I was just looking at FB and someone posted some 20-25 yr old (high school or college?) pics one of which had AH in it. Everyone looks so cute and fresh faced and he is leaning hard on someone, with a drink in his hand (ONLY person with a drink) and just this totally out of it expression. This is around when we...	tweety23	3	356	Jan 4, 2014 by ClearTheFog
	Coming home after 3 days without AW (Preview) Today I fly back to the northeast with my daughter. My AW has been there since 01/01. Being apart from her felt good. I felt stronger I did not miss her. I did not long for her to see how much I loved her and how the last 11 years are in ruin because of her behavior the last three months. I started to feel detache...	TryingHard2013	11	486	Jan 4, 2014 by sadsusie
	Need Some Support (Preview) Dear Al-Anon Members, Thank you for taking the time to read my post. I am in a difficult situation, because a few months ago I ended my relationship with an ex-boyfriend who is in inpatient treatment recovering from a heroin addiction. Under normal circumstances, a breakup would be much easier to han...	msjuliet	13	634	Jan 4, 2014 by milkwood
	Sometimes progress kinda just sneaks up on me (Preview) At work today, I am slammed...Busy as a bee.....I worked 5 hours instead of the 3-4 it has been....5 hours is NOT a rarity, I have worked that many many times before...In fact: Because I am careful and do it right the first time, I actually get more done in less time becuz I am careful and this is YEAR END ti...	neshema2	4	474	Jan 4, 2014 by ryanhearted
	Found Some Courage (Preview) I have been checking in here off and on for over a year and I've made a few posts. My husband is a binge drinker and can go long periods of time without drinking. This makes it very easy for me to be lulled into a false sense if security. I decided quite a while back ago that I needed the support of Alanon and sho...	In The Forest	17	482	Jan 4, 2014 by In The Forest
	The Whole Serenity Prayer (Preview) The Serenity Prayer God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change; courage to change the things I can; and wisdom to know the difference. Living one day at a time; Enjoying one moment at a time; Accepting hardships as the pathway to peace; Taking, as He did, this sinful world as it is, not...	oldergal	5	3529	Jan 4, 2014 by bud
	family disease (Preview) Hi all, need to just write on here and clear my mind its going a bit AWOL!! I have the focus on myself, my life , recovery 99% of the time and then BANG, I loose my focus. People in my life have been affected by different illness e.g my mum is a codependent adult child. I have learnt to accept and detach i love he...	Tracy	4	437	Jan 4, 2014 by TryingHard2013
	THIS IS BETTINA I AM NOT A NEWBIE IM AN OLDIE (Preview) HELLO EVERY ONE , HAPPY NEW YEAR!	Beatrice	10	481	Jan 3, 2014 by Beatrice
	New Year Resolution: Join MIP and stop lurking (Preview) It is true, I have been lurking for some time. New year- new beginnings. I wanted to finally introduce myself to all of you and say that you are an amazing group. I have been taking Jerry's expert advice and really really listening. I hope eventually I can offer some useful ESH. I drank, smoked, and drugg...	MorningGlory	16	433	Jan 3, 2014 by MorningGlory
	Peek a boo .. I see you .. (Preview) So after freaking my kiddo out by all of the contact again .. we are back to no contact and I'm ok with that at this point. Honestly so is she. She doesn't trust his motives and neither do I. The therapist says it's better for her not to have contact with him at this point. So I'm taking her at her advice an...	SerenityRUS	9	484	Jan 3, 2014 by grateful2be
	it is not easy! (Preview) Boy, it is not easy to get this typed. I am dealing w/ a new computer at the library--free internet service. I guess I shouldn't complain. I am frustrated though. I don't need to get feedback from this post. I just need to say Hello & that I am still on the right track! Kathleen	Hoot Nanny	3	296	Jan 3, 2014 by cwya
	I was unkind to my exAH..... (Preview) We had an agreement that while he took on the responsibility of my 5 year old to live with him an hour and a half away he would remain sober and actually begged me for the opportunity saying he needed this chance. So I per usual trust an A and go along with the agreement, but he was meeting with an AA sponsor an...	Breakingfree	13	617	Jan 3, 2014 by neshema2
	OMG (Preview) This is Bettina under another name, I purchased a new lap top and have been trying to get back in for over a month. The website just would not recognize me or let me back in. Anyway, glad to be back. What's new?? I really missed coming here and missed you all, HAPY NEW YEAR! hugs Bettina	Beatrice	13	466	Jan 3, 2014 by Beatrice
	if ya dont' see me as much...no worries....TAX study time is here (Preview) Hey you all Between the club and work, especially w/this old returning client who is probably a disaster, AND my home schooling me in income Taxes (an event I have to do ea. year) I am gonna be busy....this first Quarter and into April is my "HOPEFULLY" money making time I am gonna pace my...	neshema2	5	462	Jan 3, 2014 by neshema2
	To ignore or not to ignore? (Preview) I am an alanon newbie. However I am in AA myself and have been sober for 2 1/2 years. I met my fiance in treatment. We were just aquaintences, then friends, then started dating a year later. We are engaged and living together. Getting married in 2 months. I love the man and don't plan on leaving him....	Geeg	22	898	Jan 3, 2014 by KennyFenderjazz
	The things people say... (Preview) Happy New Year to all my friends on MIP. I've been pondering about the past few years and in particular thinking about some of the things that I've been told that drove me mad when I first heard them which then turned out to be hugely helpful and enlightening. I remember being furious, feeling let dow...	milkwood	19	720	Jan 3, 2014 by ClearTheFog
	Wishing everyone a Happy and Serene 2014.... (Preview) It seems to me every year with al-anon, my sponsor, MIP and the steps life gets better and I get healthier. After 3 years of al-anon I can only look forward to another year of feeling and growing out of the old me and blossoming into the new me. I no longer blame anyone else for the way my life is turning out, b...	Breakingfree	6	381	Jan 3, 2014 by tiredtonite
	I think I made the right decision.. With all of your help :) (Preview) I get a call today this morning from our local hospital stating that my son was there getting ready to get discharged and wanted me to go get him to drive him to our local mental health. I told the nurse if he is already there and he is thinking of suicide then you guys should transport him. Well then she said...	Gaby	20	684	Jan 3, 2014 by ryanhearted
	My resolution. (Preview)	Melly1248	7	440	Jan 3, 2014 by Melly1248
	Blame (Preview) Blaming yourself or someone else is usually a way of avoiding some painful but significant realization. I just read this and thought "this is a keeper for me". Perhaps it will be useful for someone else, too.	PP	9	784	Jan 3, 2014 by bud
	New Year, New You! (Preview) From an outsiders perspective, like most of you, I am kind, loyal, strong-willed, skillful, hardworking, and empathetic, and yet very few people are aware I was in a relationship with a drug addict. My goal was always to enable the addict first by keeping his disease top secret from anyone who loved a...	msjuliet	3	438	Jan 3, 2014 by bud
	Constant fear of A father's death (Preview) I've been a member of alanon for about 7 months. One thing i can't get relief from is my constant fear of my father's death. I worry about it often. I am terrified of the pain i will feel. I am 30 my A father is in his early 50's. Please help me :(	Living508	12	490	Jan 3, 2014 by ilovedogs
	family dynamics .. (Preview) So, my family that came together for Christmas and my mother's funeral are gone back home now. Sad to see, this wasn't a 'family gathering. This was more or less a defect fest .. (No criticising .. what I judge in them either was in me or still is) .. I saw my part, however .. my sister's are 13 years older t...	MeTwo2	5	482	Jan 3, 2014 by MeTwo2
	Learning to Let Go (Preview) Dear Al-Anon members, For the last few months, I have been silently recovering from a breakup with my ex-boyfriend who was a former heroin (opiate) addict (in treatment for the 3rd time) in Tampa, FL. My story goes something like this: Met this wonderful, amazing, good looking guy in his late 20s c...	msjuliet	6	522	Jan 2, 2014 by Jen61
	Question inre photos (Preview) Does anyone know how to send a personal photo from a home computer through our PM system? There seems to be no attachment button and I'm not sure what insert URL means. Thanks.	grateful2be	35	661	Jan 2, 2014 by Cathyinaz
	alternative meanings for MIP (Preview) I think that I have a great alternative meaning to MIP: Meeting In my Pocket I'm loving doing this, it really is like being able to attend a lot of mini meetings throughout the day! I don't have many meetings in my area so this is a great supplement to F2F meetings. Thanks for listening to me, I will kee...	KennyFenderjazz	6	441	Jan 2, 2014 by bud
	Boundaries, tantrums, and thank HP for support systems (Preview) Once I learned how to set boundaries for myself one of them what that I wouldn't get dragged into the 'poor me' party my husband sometimes throws for himself. He's been in a mood lately, so when a co-worker called in and left him with a crap-ton of work today, he started texting me. Him: So (co-worker) ca...	SpiderArcana	4	550	Jan 2, 2014 by Mimi3
	new year, new me! (Preview) Yeah, I think it is possible that I could be working on a new me. I went to the meeting I have been missing & am already getting a new perspective. I am already seeing things differently. It seems easier. I don't know if it going to last but my head is clearer. I am enjoying sleeping in even though I eat br...	Hoot Nanny	5	346	Jan 2, 2014 by grateful2be
	I'm a recovering addict... (Preview) ...DRAMA addict, that is! My mom was the queen of, well, drama queens. Her moods would swing wildly and unpredictably, which gave rise to the hypervigilance that is a hallmark of an ACOA. (Disclaimer: neither of my parents were alcoholics, but the family disease "infected" them - and...	1911A1	10	559	Jan 2, 2014 by neshema2
	The Things People Post (Preview) When I first came to this forum/board I listened first, and then when I decided I was brave enough to post I did. Knowing that anything I said or revealed or asked would be fair game to any one on this public message board. I knew there was kindness and understanding here, but I also knew that this board is w...	oldergal	17	661	Jan 2, 2014 by neshema2
	Trying to let go of beloved son (Preview) This morning I find myself feeling like I am slipping into a dark, deep hole of hopelessness. I am trying hard to turn over my son to my HP. We have had several years of all of this pain and anxiety trying to deal with the beast of a disease. I feel like we are losing the battle and he is slipping away throug...	Oats	12	528	Jan 2, 2014 by Oats
	WHO wants to keep up with the "Jones's"???? (Preview) I discovered something about me since joining this club...... I drive into the parking lot and i see new SUV's and the "hard body" chicks walking in w/their up to date gym attire and i see them on their Iphone 5s's and I look at me I drive a Ford Ranger, now 12 years old, but kept nice, I use an Ipho...	neshema2	11	619	Jan 2, 2014 by lgnutah
	Is it wrong for me to ask my A dtr what step she is on? (Preview) she went to crisis intervention ctr, rehab, left rehab ama, faked sobriety, attempted suicide, was hospitalized, send to state hosp as 1013, then another rehab for a month, which worked...she has been out for 3 mos. she goes to 2-3 mtgs a day plus out pt counceling and meds. she is proud of her monthly...	barbaralewis	9	2991	Jan 2, 2014 by barbaralewis
	This time…. (Preview) he ended up being flown to Philadelphia for some kind of emergency surgery. I don't know what kind of surgery except that it was abdominal and no doubt exacerbated by his alcoholism. He named me as his emergency contact, but I have done no "contacting." I have come to the point of thinki...	Diva	6	366	Jan 2, 2014 by grateful2be
	Hope for ME just for Today (Preview) Happy New year. I say that with just a twinge of sarcasm. Just a twinge. I suppose I always hang on to a little bit of hope the my AH finally realizes that he needs to take action. I imagine that he is letting his denial cloud how crappy this disease is, which makes it easier to postpone his recovery. Well, t...	sadsusie	5	471	Jan 2, 2014 by el-cee
	New User - someone to listen? (Preview) Hi all, I am a new user to this site and a little bit nervous but here goes.... I have been with my ABF for nearly six years and living together for 5, I say he is an alcoholic but the truth is I am not sure what he is, a possible binge drinker but is it the same thing? Sorry I don't want to offend anyone with the inc...	Hopingfor	13	584	Jan 2, 2014 by KennyFenderjazz
	weird start to my New Years--could use some alanon hugs..PLEEZE (Preview) well, today is Jan 1, 2014....I am lookin forward with an open, positive mind..... headed out to my new club to "play" and i need it... last night my ptsd began to kick in.....as ny eve was one time i at age 15, to get away frm the offender's advances, I locked myself in the bathroom w/a bottle of...	neshema2	14	497	Jan 2, 2014 by farmerswife
	Making funny (Preview) I got rained down on Monday and promised a make up today and so I went in. No rain today other than a very very gentle drizzle just when work was done...kinda a kiss. When I started an elderly couple walked from the lobby to seaside to enjoy the view...it was enjoyable and always is after a storm. Upon t...	Jerry F	12	432	Jan 2, 2014 by el-cee
	Surrender and some basketball!!!! (Preview) Hey all WEnt to club and was not "myself" but mostly myself and i met this really neat lady and she had a basketball and she said "you play???" I told her all my trophies were in either tennis or pool (billiards) or horse shows, lol...No basketball, but I used to play in HS.... so w...	neshema2	4	370	Jan 2, 2014 by MorningGlory
	crumbs (Preview) The other day, I was watching a morning talk show and a life coach was on discussing goals in the new year. She suggested leaving the crumbs behind so you can eat the cake. I really like this suggestion. I have been obsessed with the crap my AH has put us through. He is in recovery and doing well, and when...	imom	9	481	Jan 2, 2014 by milkwood
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The material presented here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method to exchange information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal level.