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New User - someone to listen?
(Preview)
Hi all, I am a new user to this site and a little bit nervous but here goes.... I have been with my ABF for nearly six years and living together for 5, I say he is an alcoholic but the truth is I am not sure what he is, a possible binge drinker but is it the same thing? Sorry I don't want to offend anyone with the inc...
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Hopingfor
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13
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473
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weird start to my New Years--could use some alanon hugs..PLEEZE
(Preview)
well, today is Jan 1, 2014....I am lookin forward with an open, positive mind..... headed out to my new club to "play" and i need it... last night my ptsd began to kick in.....as ny eve was one time i at age 15, to get away frm the offender's advances, I locked myself in the bathroom w/a bottle of...
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neshema2
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14
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392
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Making funny
(Preview)
I got rained down on Monday and promised a make up today and so I went in. No rain today other than a very very gentle drizzle just when work was done...kinda a kiss. When I started an elderly couple walked from the lobby to seaside to enjoy the view...it was enjoyable and always is after a storm. Upon t...
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Jerry F
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12
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335
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Surrender and some basketball!!!!
(Preview)
Hey all WEnt to club and was not "myself" but mostly myself and i met this really neat lady and she had a basketball and she said "you play???" I told her all my trophies were in either tennis or pool (billiards) or horse shows, lol...No basketball, but I used to play in HS.... so w...
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neshema2
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4
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269
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crumbs
(Preview)
The other day, I was watching a morning talk show and a life coach was on discussing goals in the new year. She suggested leaving the crumbs behind so you can eat the cake. I really like this suggestion. I have been obsessed with the crap my AH has put us through. He is in recovery and doing well, and when...
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imom
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9
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373
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New user first al anon nye with AHq
(Preview)
So last night was Hard. I attended my first al anon meeting online and it was helpful to read other shares from people struggling with their AH. Ialso replied to more posts because I know that no matter what I post it feels really good that someone says that sucks I'm sorry try to move on. I read the replies...
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TryingHard2013
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12
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443
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New user first nye with AW
(Preview)
So last night was Hard. I attended my first al anon meeting online and it was helpful to read other shares from people struggling with their AW. I also replied to more posts because I know that no matter what I post it feels really good that someone says that sucks I'm sorry try to move on. I read the replies...
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TryingHard2013
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9
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359
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im getting better.
(Preview)
Exactly 3 years ago today the largest crisis in my life came to a disasterous head. A horrible incident occured that I dont even feel the need to go into. That is actually the point of my post. It did pop into my mind a couple of times over this holiday period but!!!! Did I feel the need to relive it, discuss i...
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el-cee
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8
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201
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Can you come back from a situation like this (married to nondrinking A)
(Preview)
My AH and I have a 9-month-old baby. We love him more than anything and are great parents, except to the extent that our problems may affect him. I want to know whether anyone has had major power struggles with an A and has been able to heal the relationship. My husband hasn't had anything to drink in ab...
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lmyya
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9
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379
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I feel like I am isolating. Input requested.
(Preview)
Hey Guys, My name is slogan_Jim and I am grateful member of al-anon. I am concerned. Over the holidays I have had some issues with isolation arise that have had me questioning what this is really about. I am turning down social functions for other social functions or not doing anything at all but I have j...
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slogan_jim
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8
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462
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Happy New Year to All!
(Preview)
So far so good for 2014. 2013 was a rough year for me so am hoping 2014 will be better. I am going to take each day very positive and take better care of me.
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Jen61
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6
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226
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Thank God for this program.
(Preview)
This has been the worst year, I think, in my life. AGF moved out, 2 days before Christmas, took the kids with her, and seems to be "blocking" them from talking to me...don't hear from them, they don't respond to calls and texts, and she keeps saying she'll have them call me, but then doesn't. ...
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Divedet
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9
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326
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Ending the year on a really nice note
(Preview)
My daughter's car's starter quit doing its job, has sat in its place for a month waiting for some human to take pity on it and fix it. Weather was bone cold, then as it warmed up, I bought the new equipment, jacked up the car, got on my back and slid under the car and said, uh..... Keep in mind I am fairly mechan...
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likemyheart
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8
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427
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my heart is broken
(Preview)
I guess to start out I am angry. I feel as though I am getting back on a rollercoaster ride that I really dont want to go on again.. I am really not sure I can. In November my husband went to treatment and I seen changes that I never felt were possible. I feel during this time I suffered alot financial, emotion...
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Linda
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10
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864
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Holidays were hard- back with the Ex
(Preview)
scared to say it after 6 months apart from ex-AHBF I went over to his place (his mom got for him) and told him how much i missed him... high to be around him then the next day depressed, anxiety, anger, confused... he drinks a lot nowadays since i'm not around anymore to make him hide it and try to be sober aro...
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abell
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7
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453
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Really!!!
(Preview)
A few hours ago I stood in my garage and shouted at HP...you gotta stop this now...This was 36 hours of heavy rain and a lightning and thunder storm right over Hilo. "If it has no use...why do it"? an attempt to sponsor the HP that one was. Okay an hour or so later the rain and thunder and lig...
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Jerry F
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23
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470
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down in a hole
(Preview)
it took all I had to pick up this computer today what do you do when you physically, mentally emotionally can not take any more? when your so deep down in a hole surrounded by darkness crumpled up in a puddle of despair knowing you cannot take anymore pain but all you options will cause you more pain hati...
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farmerswife
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19
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414
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I need a good cry
(Preview)
New to the board. Really need to vent somewhere. hubbs has been in aa for about a year now, but the last 3 years have been ****. We're both vets & he's 100% disabled. Guess what my finances are tied to. We got him off the pain meds this summer when he was put on naltrexone (?) after antabuse didn't faze h...
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DragonMoon
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10
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386
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newbie here.....but feling very old
(Preview)
Humbled and long rant I do believe the Holidays have thrown me. Living away from my family, I am able to work on one piece of my dysfunction/codependancy at a time. I can pull out pieces of my shattered childhood/early adulthood: examine them, read a book, do therapy, and add some experience to my adult...
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polly2
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7
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417
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Responding !!!!!
(Preview)
I just want to make it clear.. !!! Financially I am ok.. I have a great job and the time to take off. My daughter by far is not being neglected.. I have an amazing husband that stands by me to get me up when I fall..Yes I'm depressed about my son and his choices. It's normal. I have never been in this situation b...
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Gaby
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26
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649
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oh cripe another new year?
(Preview)
I thought I would use a word that I never hear much to describe how I feel about approaching another new year. I am not really looking forward to 2014 right now. I know that it will be whatever I make it. I have the steering wheel & can determine what direction I want to go. Mind you, my HP will be right the...
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Hoot Nanny
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5
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324
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auld lang syne
(Preview)
Should auld aquaintance be forgot and never brought to mind? Should auld acquantance be forgot and auld lang syne. Happy new year from me here in scotland.x
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el-cee
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10
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239
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New to the board
(Preview)
I'm new to this board. I found it searching the internet for al anon support. I have not been to a meeting yet and am looking forward to my first one. this board has basically helped me survive this week. I have been with my partner 11 years and we have been married for 3 . We have a 2 year old daughter. In April...
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TryingHard2013
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9
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396
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how do i say this? or do I?
(Preview)
he is not one to drink every day or even every week - maybe bc he is on antidepressants? but when he does it is more often then not a huge binge. anyway although we've been together for a long long time.. and frankly met by partying and drinking together.. i no longer want to be around him when he is drinking....
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tweety23
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15
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543
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thanking Bubblegum for stepping up
(Preview)
I would like to thank our Bubblegum for stepping up to the plate...new years eve and she chaired a meeting... it was a goodie, too..... luckily my "chat room" mgr. duties on my sis's radio show closed up early enough for me to attend... Bubblegum thanks for your service....it was a good meet...
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neshema2
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0
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279
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Reaching Out: Shame and Anxiety
(Preview)
Hey all, I found this message board because I've only been to a handful of Al-Anon meetings and I don't have a sponsor yet, but I really needed to connect with the community right now. Tonight, on the phone, I told my mother that my husband has been going to AA and that I've been been going to Al-Anon meetin...
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dotandthekangaroo
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11
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534
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The Roller-Coaster Year
(Preview)
This year has been such a mixed bag for me and my family. It started with my AH passing away the first week of January. Then I had to give up our home of 25 years to the bank. My mom fell while on a walk with my on my birthday in March. She broke her arm in several places and will never have full use of her arm again....
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Green Eyes
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5
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303
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starting my new year and my new me early
(Preview)
Today i registered at my new fitness club.... got all my paperwork...got orientation on Thurs. to talk about my fitness goals AND they let me (even tho ins. starts tomorrow) start today.... I jumped right into the pool....swam laps.....LOVED it....sat in whirl pool w/some nice folks and chatted...
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neshema2
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19
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403
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The bottom
(Preview)
I'm new to this board. I found it searching the internet for al anon support. I have not been to a meeting yet and am looking forward to my first one. this board has basically helped me survive this week. I have been with my partner 11 years and we have been married for 3 . We have a 2 year old daughter. In April...
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TryingHard2013
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3
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339
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What MIP is to me.
(Preview)
I came to MIP because it seemed like a place where I could learn to be the best Melly I could be. I felt like I could remove the chains of "I'm not a good enough mother, I'm not a good enough worker, I'm not a good enough girlfriend, I'm not good enough" and just talk about me, without shame. It ha...
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Melly1248
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10
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404
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accepting my husband the way he is
(Preview)
Ive been in my own apt for 2 weeks and I worry about my husbands safety constantly esp. at night. During the day he will text me and he seems ok but at night he blocks my number and I have no communication with him. I know exactly what he is doing, he's drinking. I know I cant do anything about his sobriety he ha...
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texasgal
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5
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375
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Depression kicked in full force..
(Preview)
So update on my son.. So much has happened.. After falling into his trap of manipulation.. And me admitting NOW.. I knew what I was getting myself into. My son called me on Friday around 10 pm collect.. He said "mom I F'up" I'm cold.. I'm on such and such corner.. I said I'll call 911 and of cours...
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Gaby
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9
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416
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glad my husband got sick
(Preview)
Im sure that thread title sounds like I am a heartless person, but let me explain. My husband is an recovered (recovering?) A. He never worked a program. After many years ofndestructive drinking, denial, and finally a confrontation from his recovered A son, he talked to his Dr, an using medical su...
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lgnutah
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4
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330
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For those whos A decided to completely quit drinking..
(Preview)
Just curious, how did it happened)) what was your invovment? i understand the CCC thing and i understand that there is nothing i can do or say that would stop him, but i am just curious, when did u know he is for real quitting?
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Venera
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8
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460
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HAPPY NEW YEAR
(Preview)
I want to wish EVERYONE a HAPPY NEW YEAR.....I smell good things for this upcoming year....dunno why, maybe i just hate giving up, LOLOL...but really, I smell good things..... May this year bring better health, better wealth, better love and better self expression to all of us..... and PLEASE BE SAF...
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neshema2
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5
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217
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NYE 2013.
(Preview)
I've long been a believer that how you see in the New year reflects on how you will spend your year. It seems to hold true for me, in any event. So, New Years 2 years ago...well, ABF was front and centre of my world. He chose to spend the night getting drunk and playing his computer game. I bitterly worked on a...
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Melly1248
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18
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387
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Dealing with an alcoholic adult child.
(Preview)
My 38 y/o daughter just lost her very well paying job due to lateness to work because of drinking the night before. This happened almost 2 weeks ago. Today she told me it was my fault because I did not stop her from drinking when she was in high school. I am so tired of the whole scene.
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exawstedmom
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9
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750
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Did not go to work...
(Preview)
Today was tough again. I did not go to work. I stayed in bed and watched t.v. All day. I can not stop thinking about the well being of my son. But I took care of me and rested my mind. I have tooken what I have done to my son so hard. People tell me get out of gods way. At one time my son has told me if I would have left h...
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Gaby
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19
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527
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thinking about marrying again
(Preview)
My a b/f has been renting a room from me for the last several maths a b/f is not active in his drinking right now he had been bidding his bottles in my barn thinking I would not find them but I did stumble upon his bottles I knew he was acting diff. In the afternoons when he got in from work but I really could not p...
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lookingup
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7
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392
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feeling sad,sorry and hurt
(Preview)
My daughter has been trying to contact me over the internet but I've been ignoring.her her hubby wsent military 7years ago daughter was all for it with 2 babies they now have 3 children they were all I had and were my world long distance relationships just don't work good when I saw my oldest grandchild a...
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lookingup
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11
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563
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Next shoe to drop
(Preview)
So I really thought I was doing better than I am. My marriage of 30 years came to a sudden end when my emotionally abusive AH started drinking again. He got angrier and more verbally abusive quickly. He was dry for 20 years, started drinking again and then filed for divorce. And I quit reacting. I wo...
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Milehi-tlc
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9
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433
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MY LIFE AS A "DRAMA QUEEN"...
(Preview)
My life as a drama queen is difficult, but I am getting better at it. He still drinks from time to time, and he's mean as hell when he does. Not physically, but the mental abuse has all but killed my zest for life. I have gone from a fun-loving, involved gal to a hermit whose trust in the world and those hum...
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Diva
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7
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439
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Gone again.....
(Preview)
Well, it is that time of year again.... my AH is off to Arizona to get out of this cold, unforgiving north country. He is currently in Southern Kansas and feeling better already. The weather this winter has been brutal and we have many months to go. So many days of -20 to -30 with wind chills in the -50 to -6...
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Sweet Stanley
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4
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306
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By popular demand:
(Preview)
The ring looks like this:
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pinkchip
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16
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440
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Crazy
(Preview)
I really am crazy, I'm obsessed with my AH husband to the point that if it's not my fear of alcohol it's my fear of cheating. I quit looking for signs of drinking and he has started drinking everyday. I've decided to keep quite and he's brought beer home every night this week. When he starts drinking he sta...
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Hope2000
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20
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520
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eh? little rambly vent...sorry....
(Preview)
lol. I know, I know, there's no point trying to understand. But ABF has just come home, babbling after 3 or 4 quick beers, and announced that he's very tired, has to start early in the morning and therefore his plan is to stay up all night. After telling me just yesterday that someone was fired for turning...
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Melly1248
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22
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609
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Explanation to kids?
(Preview)
Any though really appreciated! We are in Mexico with 3 kids. AH is drinking for the 3rd day nonstop, so usually we depend on him for driving, translating etc (we go often to our house, he speaks spanish, handles all the money, drives rentla car because i cant use stick shift) we had been here at least ten t...
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Venera
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17
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474
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HP Flying High...Along with MIL
(Preview)
Funny How things work out... Those that Read my Last thread know that there is more Addiction Rif-Raf goin on in my Family that include my 2 oldest Grandkids! And Because it Happened 4 days before Our Celebrated holiday of Christmas, it brought lots of Tears, Hurt, Pain, to an 8-10 yrs... Well i have bee...
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Jozie
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10
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389
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He left!!!!
(Preview)
So my son left his sober living house!! I just knew it was going to happen.. I want to make it clear!! I do go to alanon.. I do not have a Sponsor that has much time for anyone any more. I will work on finding one.. My only strong face to face meeting is only on Mondays in the evening. I have very little fellowshi...
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Gaby
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18
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569
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So far...
(Preview)
Today was a real test for me. I had to ride around with ABF for a couple of hours while he looked for parts at the auto stores in town. I'm sure you all know what that's like:/. I almost lost my cool a few times with his tantrums, rudeness, and the fact that his ADD almost got our borrowed car demolished and us k...
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Raven Juniper
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2
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185
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grief anniversaries
(Preview)
This time of year is very difficult for me as it is for many people. But this year all the anniversaries surrounding my son and his death are really throwing me off kilter. Starting in October these 3 months are just one grief after another but December is really hard for me. My son was killed in a really ho...
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cwya
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7
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618
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Could use some guidence ..
(Preview)
Well I can't talk much about particulars, .. I can share that my stbax is in the throws of his disease and his diseased thinking .. I feel pity for him. At this point this is a step right direction .. however .. it will be YEARS before I feel anything except distrust for him if he forces this child to go up on t...
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SerenityRUS
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14
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494
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Need Al-Anon Adjustment--help!
(Preview)
Hey all--I am visiting my family 800 miles away from my AH who has been working a program for nearly 4 years, with a relapse unfortunately about every 6 months. He told me he was going to visit his college drinking buddy overnight tonight and unlike the previous days that we've been away from each other (...
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crazycatlady
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7
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441
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Loss ? of my mother ..
(Preview)
Today is my mother's funeral. . My mother will be Greatly missed. Today, however, I know her life held meaning for me .. for us all .. God was good and kept her with us 89 years because that's how long it took us to hear the many messages she carried with her .. her life held a purpose and today has given n...
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MeTwo2
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14
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425
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My son called today saying he wanted to leave treatment!
(Preview)
i told him it's cold outside! He would have nowhere to go. I prayed for him over the phone and that was about it. I did try to get him to see that we all have bad moments....but then we get through them...not run from them. I asked him what his other choices are? He said I promised if he did not like it there I wo...
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Katytexasmom
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19
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514
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CDK's Share
(Preview)
Christmas Miracle... Hi Sweeties and Loved Ones and Wonderchildren! My HP saw fit to involve me in a little Christmas miracle, and I wanted to share it with you. I work in retail, and for the last two months have been working overnights. Christmas Eve morning, my team and I had worked a very long shif...
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Tasha
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12
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603
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He says he'll moderate
(Preview)
After almost two years of a crazy push-pull between my husband and I after I quit drinking, I said in no uncertain terms that alcohol was coming in between us.
I said, unless he moderates his drinking, I cannot continue being in our relationship. And I mean it. He called it an ultimatum. It's more an ul...
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irukan
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19
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580
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Even the Smallest Graditude is a Blessing....
(Preview)
Most Know that I have been Helping Care for my AGram since I Found her On Mothers Day and She had a Stroke, and since then she has also taking on a Bit of Demencha (Sorry Im a Terrible Speller) as well... it has been a Learning Experience for Me, and For her, and tho I Truly try to do My Best by her, I know in my He...
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Jozie
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2
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436
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Progress
(Preview)
I always get reflective at this time of year and now I'm 2 years at Easter in Alanon, I look at the person I have became. I am much happier in my skin these days, I don't feel as helpless as I did or as alone. I have a growing relationship with a higher power and its so comforting to know that its not all my fault a...
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el-cee
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6
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352
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New Here
(Preview)
Hi all. I am a 28 year old woman from Seattle, and I am a daughter, sister, and girlfriend of addicts. My mom is an alcoholic who was sober for much of my life, until my teens. She fell off and only got sober when I entered college. She has been sober for over 9 years now. My dad is addicted to gambling, and has b...
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MaestraJ
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8
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456
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