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thinking about marrying again
(Preview)
My a b/f has been renting a room from me for the last several maths a b/f is not active in his drinking right now he had been bidding his bottles in my barn thinking I would not find them but I did stumble upon his bottles I knew he was acting diff. In the afternoons when he got in from work but I really could not p...
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lookingup
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7
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372
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feeling sad,sorry and hurt
(Preview)
My daughter has been trying to contact me over the internet but I've been ignoring.her her hubby wsent military 7years ago daughter was all for it with 2 babies they now have 3 children they were all I had and were my world long distance relationships just don't work good when I saw my oldest grandchild a...
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lookingup
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11
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539
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Next shoe to drop
(Preview)
So I really thought I was doing better than I am. My marriage of 30 years came to a sudden end when my emotionally abusive AH started drinking again. He got angrier and more verbally abusive quickly. He was dry for 20 years, started drinking again and then filed for divorce. And I quit reacting. I wo...
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Milehi-tlc
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9
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415
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MY LIFE AS A "DRAMA QUEEN"...
(Preview)
My life as a drama queen is difficult, but I am getting better at it. He still drinks from time to time, and he's mean as hell when he does. Not physically, but the mental abuse has all but killed my zest for life. I have gone from a fun-loving, involved gal to a hermit whose trust in the world and those hum...
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Diva
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7
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417
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Gone again.....
(Preview)
Well, it is that time of year again.... my AH is off to Arizona to get out of this cold, unforgiving north country. He is currently in Southern Kansas and feeling better already. The weather this winter has been brutal and we have many months to go. So many days of -20 to -30 with wind chills in the -50 to -6...
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Sweet Stanley
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4
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284
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By popular demand:
(Preview)
The ring looks like this:
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pinkchip
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16
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421
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Crazy
(Preview)
I really am crazy, I'm obsessed with my AH husband to the point that if it's not my fear of alcohol it's my fear of cheating. I quit looking for signs of drinking and he has started drinking everyday. I've decided to keep quite and he's brought beer home every night this week. When he starts drinking he sta...
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Hope2000
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20
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501
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eh? little rambly vent...sorry....
(Preview)
lol. I know, I know, there's no point trying to understand. But ABF has just come home, babbling after 3 or 4 quick beers, and announced that he's very tired, has to start early in the morning and therefore his plan is to stay up all night. After telling me just yesterday that someone was fired for turning...
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Melly1248
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22
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588
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Explanation to kids?
(Preview)
Any though really appreciated! We are in Mexico with 3 kids. AH is drinking for the 3rd day nonstop, so usually we depend on him for driving, translating etc (we go often to our house, he speaks spanish, handles all the money, drives rentla car because i cant use stick shift) we had been here at least ten t...
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Venera
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17
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455
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HP Flying High...Along with MIL
(Preview)
Funny How things work out... Those that Read my Last thread know that there is more Addiction Rif-Raf goin on in my Family that include my 2 oldest Grandkids! And Because it Happened 4 days before Our Celebrated holiday of Christmas, it brought lots of Tears, Hurt, Pain, to an 8-10 yrs... Well i have bee...
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Jozie
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10
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370
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He left!!!!
(Preview)
So my son left his sober living house!! I just knew it was going to happen.. I want to make it clear!! I do go to alanon.. I do not have a Sponsor that has much time for anyone any more. I will work on finding one.. My only strong face to face meeting is only on Mondays in the evening. I have very little fellowshi...
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Gaby
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18
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555
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So far...
(Preview)
Today was a real test for me. I had to ride around with ABF for a couple of hours while he looked for parts at the auto stores in town. I'm sure you all know what that's like:/. I almost lost my cool a few times with his tantrums, rudeness, and the fact that his ADD almost got our borrowed car demolished and us k...
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Raven Juniper
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2
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165
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grief anniversaries
(Preview)
This time of year is very difficult for me as it is for many people. But this year all the anniversaries surrounding my son and his death are really throwing me off kilter. Starting in October these 3 months are just one grief after another but December is really hard for me. My son was killed in a really ho...
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cwya
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7
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600
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Could use some guidence ..
(Preview)
Well I can't talk much about particulars, .. I can share that my stbax is in the throws of his disease and his diseased thinking .. I feel pity for him. At this point this is a step right direction .. however .. it will be YEARS before I feel anything except distrust for him if he forces this child to go up on t...
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SerenityRUS
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14
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475
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Need Al-Anon Adjustment--help!
(Preview)
Hey all--I am visiting my family 800 miles away from my AH who has been working a program for nearly 4 years, with a relapse unfortunately about every 6 months. He told me he was going to visit his college drinking buddy overnight tonight and unlike the previous days that we've been away from each other (...
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crazycatlady
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7
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424
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Loss ? of my mother ..
(Preview)
Today is my mother's funeral. . My mother will be Greatly missed. Today, however, I know her life held meaning for me .. for us all .. God was good and kept her with us 89 years because that's how long it took us to hear the many messages she carried with her .. her life held a purpose and today has given n...
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MeTwo2
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14
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405
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My son called today saying he wanted to leave treatment!
(Preview)
i told him it's cold outside! He would have nowhere to go. I prayed for him over the phone and that was about it. I did try to get him to see that we all have bad moments....but then we get through them...not run from them. I asked him what his other choices are? He said I promised if he did not like it there I wo...
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Katytexasmom
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19
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495
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CDK's Share
(Preview)
Christmas Miracle... Hi Sweeties and Loved Ones and Wonderchildren! My HP saw fit to involve me in a little Christmas miracle, and I wanted to share it with you. I work in retail, and for the last two months have been working overnights. Christmas Eve morning, my team and I had worked a very long shif...
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Tasha
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12
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579
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He says he'll moderate
(Preview)
After almost two years of a crazy push-pull between my husband and I after I quit drinking, I said in no uncertain terms that alcohol was coming in between us.
I said, unless he moderates his drinking, I cannot continue being in our relationship. And I mean it. He called it an ultimatum. It's more an ul...
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irukan
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19
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558
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Even the Smallest Graditude is a Blessing....
(Preview)
Most Know that I have been Helping Care for my AGram since I Found her On Mothers Day and She had a Stroke, and since then she has also taking on a Bit of Demencha (Sorry Im a Terrible Speller) as well... it has been a Learning Experience for Me, and For her, and tho I Truly try to do My Best by her, I know in my He...
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Jozie
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2
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424
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Progress
(Preview)
I always get reflective at this time of year and now I'm 2 years at Easter in Alanon, I look at the person I have became. I am much happier in my skin these days, I don't feel as helpless as I did or as alone. I have a growing relationship with a higher power and its so comforting to know that its not all my fault a...
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el-cee
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6
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337
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New Here
(Preview)
Hi all. I am a 28 year old woman from Seattle, and I am a daughter, sister, and girlfriend of addicts. My mom is an alcoholic who was sober for much of my life, until my teens. She fell off and only got sober when I entered college. She has been sober for over 9 years now. My dad is addicted to gambling, and has b...
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MaestraJ
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8
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435
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My will vs God's will
(Preview)
I posted this dilemma on another support board, too, but I wanted to share here. I have been working on determining the difference between my will and discovering God's will for me.
I had recently decided to separate from my AH. I am now backing away from that decision for reasons that I can't truly pin...
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ilovedogs
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16
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721
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glad to have you all in my life
(Preview)
It has been months and months since I have been here. Things got very, very bad for my family and me and then they got better. Since things got better, I forgot to keep taking care of myself through al-anon. I have found myself recently being constantly suspicious and playing detective (old habits a...
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imom
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7
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430
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Christmas in Jail
(Preview)
Long story short, I called 911 on December 3 in order to enter my home after a disturbing call from my A. I had been staying at my mother's since June helping watch her and finding an assisted living place for her with my sister and preparing her house for sale. I entered the home with police and an ambula...
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Donna Lee
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9
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479
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My son back in Jail and "Porter Potty Paul" in detox...
(Preview)
Hi everyone, Just throwing this out there, into the four winds tonight. I got a call this afternoon from my son, from jail. As some of you already know, this time last year (the same week before Christmas), I bailed him out of jail and he jumped the bond and ran three days later. I had to go through the pr...
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John
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21
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1212
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Firearms and a demented A
(Preview)
Hi all. A new and frightening topic. My ex A has dementia and alcoholic wet brain, along with black outs. He is totally unstable. A former serviceman as well with PTSD. He has a firearm and ammo. He is currently trying to get a permit to carry a concealed weapon. We haven't been together in years....
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Grace7
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6
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400
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Crazy Thinking
(Preview)
I'm sitting here at work getting ready to go home and I'm thinking about my son. Now this is nuts... I wonder if he's OK at his dads Is he bored Is he getting his business taken care of Is he getting along with his dad because they can butt heads I bet he's really anxious and wants a drink so bad he's going to d...
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Cathyinaz
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12
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441
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trying not to loose myself....
(Preview)
... and it's not easy. I am tending again to become invisible, an i'm making wrong choices. I am not taking care of myself as I should, for I allow A to have contact with me again. Because I want to deal with things in a civilized and human way. Because I'm not a robot and can't switch in a month just like that f...
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tortuga
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3
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360
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weather
(Preview)
My part of the world has saw rain and grey skies every day for what seems like weeks now, today though its dry and bright, no blue in the sky mind you but a huge difference. Everything seems clearer. The weather makes me think of nature and the part my higher power plays for me. I mean its like the daily remin...
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el-cee
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5
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425
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Feeling guilty...could be I need a meeting
(Preview)
The holidays mean a busier work schedule, as well as having family & friends over. What has happened is that I haven't been even to my online meetings, let alone face to face. Well, I tried tonight to go to a face to face, but there was no one there. I haven't been to it before, so not sure if it still meet...
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ryanhearted
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2
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177
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Seeking Serenity
(Preview)
Hi all. I am new to this forum. I am truly struggling today with my alcoholic son. He has been drinking for several weeks, lies in bed all day and is deeply depressed. His health is suffering and he is extremely thin. He lives alone, so I constantly battle with the need to drive to his place to see if he i...
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Oats
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9
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371
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He left treatment.
(Preview)
My son called today, he does not feel good. He wanted to go to the hospital. Everything he described sounds like anxiety panic attacks. I asked him to ride it Out. He has just been to the clinic 2 days before with fluid in his lungs. They gave him some shots and antibiotics. He was so panicked today and want...
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Katytexasmom
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15
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464
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would appreciate some input on this
(Preview)
I put this on my facebook in the hopes that my brother will see it and get the message to this woman that she needs to BACK off and leave me alone what do you guys think????? I am gonna think...pray.....think again and ask for esh BEFORE i do anything....maybe i can get the phone company to help me, I don't k...
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neshema2
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18
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455
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feeling healthy...
(Preview)
Other than me back bothering a bit, I am feeling pretty healthy today. I guess the massage therapist worked a little too hard on my back. I won't be seeing her until next year...hee hee! I have a sense of who I really am today. I know now that I am the best I can be. I have to remember to not put myself down. I rea...
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Hoot Nanny
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3
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145
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Merry Christmas MIP family
(Preview)
Merry Christmas everyone, I hope this day is peaceful for everyone. The Hope for Today book has a lovely reading to help get your day started.x
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el-cee
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12
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361
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I have fallen and I cant get up/out.
(Preview)
If you don't want to listen to a rant just close this now. I will understand completely I feel like I have fallen into a vat of super negatively. I am taking care of my mother while she is in the hospital. She is thee most negative person I have ever met in my entire life. She is ACOA and has some psych issues....
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Tricia911
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13
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501
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Sponsorship Questions?
(Preview)
I was unable to get to my face to face meeting because whatever my daughter had on Christmas Eve I has by Christmas night and I was still running a fever come Thursday. That was not the gift I wanted to give my new friends lol!
I was going to ask about finding a sponsor. I dug out the phone list was going to se...
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HisMrsWright
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9
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1201
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Starting a new meeting....
(Preview)
in my area the one meeting a week, is a bit unhealthy and a few people from here go 45 minutes away to a different great meeting that I love also. I am so busy that it just seems crazy that we don't have one in our bigger area and it might draw in more people (build it and they will come) at least that is what I hope...
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Breakingfree
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5
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861
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Why not make a decision already
(Preview)
My AH has been gone for 3 months now. His promise to get help has not happened due to every excuse he could come up with. I finally asked him in all seriousness if he wanted a divorce. I thought he would jump at the chance as he was the one who left us. He asked why I was asking that question. I told him he hasn't g...
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mongowal
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14
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526
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ugh, melancholy day, but serene
(Preview)
My son came to pick me up today. I was going to take him to eat. Of course that was sorta a dumb idea. One place open, he does not like crowds, standing in line etc. So before we left the parking lot, we helped this gal and her teen girl who was rolling her eyes soooo embarrassed, jump her car. Guess it was where...
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Debilyn
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7
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407
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I spent Christmas with my exAH and his parents....
(Preview)
overall it went good, I spent a few days around my exAh and his parents and I made the best of it. I went to a meeting with my old al-anon home group as soon as I arrived into town and it set me up to be strong in my program while spending Christmas with my children and ex family, who is currently dry, but not wor...
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Breakingfree
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7
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411
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From the mouth of a teen
(Preview)
My grandson is a freshman in high school. His life hasn't been a walk in the park. He has all sorts of reasons to feel sorry for himself, but he doesn't. He just keeps his head down and keeps going despite various things that aren't to his liking. I stayed with both my daughter and my grandson Christma...
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grateful2be
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19
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421
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An emotional day
(Preview)
This Christmas morning was incredible. My partner surprised me by actually having bought the wedding bands we liked. He put mine in my stocking. It was wonderful. ..very emotional. Then I went to work. Many of the client were down. Some were on the verge of leaving AMA. They all have lots of issues and p...
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pinkchip
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15
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442
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First post.
(Preview)
Hello all. My first post here, after a couple weeks of trolling. I've been going through some personal turmoil, which seems to be magnified by the Holiday Season, but it's comforting to have another tool in the tool box to deal with life. I participated in my first online/chatroom meeting today, a...
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Divedet
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13
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352
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New Goals - Respect
(Preview)
I have been feeling better despite everything since I discovered this group, and have been trying to stay connected with what HP wants for me, not what I want for me. I am not always there just more than it was, which I am so grateful for. So one thing that has surfaced and I plan on working on more is respect...
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mm830
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4
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186
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my stubborn daughter and spoiled
(Preview)
just got through talking to my daughter on skype ,talked about them getting out of military and she seems to think there no security for them here in the states,no jobs,no good schools,no nothings ,Ha i said she was all wrong that she and her little ones and hubby neede to just stay where their at ,englan...
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lookingup
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12
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429
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banging head against the same wall. . repeat
(Preview)
well it 300am. i last saw my ah at 800am whn he left for work. sure he called a few times. . the last whn our daughter called him at 9pm to see if he was coming home. nope. . was at a buddies. spoke to me and said i wont be late lets plan to leave (for a trip i encouraged) by 930. yup. that should work well. he just dra...
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Theoceancalls
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6
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446
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Taking it one minute at a time..
(Preview)
I have not heard from my son. But I have said to myself.. I cannot help him.. He had to want it!!! I'm saying the serenity prayer every minute. I think about how much my daughter needs me!! I last told my son I live him and will be here for him when he is healthy and sober.. I told him I have lots if faith in god.. N...
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Gaby
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7
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275
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Christmas morning special...
(Preview)
Hope all of the family had a wonderful Christmas...ours was nice and then very special. My wife loves to bring me her presents (the ones she gets for me) and then sits and smiles with glee and the command "Okay...stop what you're doing and open these". I have to laugh cause she gets happy...
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Jerry F
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9
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338
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update on the "stalker"
(Preview)
should have put this here.... Thank all of you for stepping up and giving me some great input thus far i have done the following..... called my sponsor who is a ret. police detective from Seattle....she left the force when she and her husb. were working in robbery/homicide division and he got shot to de...
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neshema2
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2
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239
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My favorite part of Christmas
(Preview)
I don't mean this in a mean way but I absolutely love the day after Christmas! Because me and my kids get together with family for leftovers lunch without AH and AFIL (is that an acronym?? It is now...)
It's like a Do-over. Christmas without the drama.
Blessings to all.. I don't post a lot but your share...
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tweety23
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5
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156
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count down
(Preview)
Yesterday he started drinking around 8:30 am and stopped when he fell asleep or passed out.I never can tell.But when all was said and done he'd had 13-14 pints of beer at least.Today he's already up to 3 pints at least and it's only 9:30.So today isn't going to be any different then any other day he's not a...
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pixie
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8
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428
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Oh, and lol
(Preview)
Whilst walking the dog today, we passed the library and after reading a sign, my daughter started musing over the word "committee". She babbled about it all the way home and then asked me "what committees can you think of?" and I started to laugh and said "well, it's a bit na...
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Melly1248
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8
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231
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its just sad to be in this place
(Preview)
im not sure posting will help me right now but i know not what else to do. ive been emailing my sponsor and lisyening to her wisdom yet i remain paralyzed. my relationship with my active ah has just been miserable this month. its always a bad time for him. . details too much to mention and thn all i want is som...
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Theoceancalls
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13
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408
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Sex with your A partner
(Preview)
Hi there How do people tackle this subject? The A in my life is my partner (we're not married but good as, been together 8 years, lived together 7 have a 6 year old daughter). I only discovered she was an A a few years ago and it's been a real tough slog. If it wasn't for our daughter I would have walked a long t...
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jitsuka
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12
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567
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IT WORKED!
(Preview)
I will try not to make this post too long...It worked! I wasn't really depressed this Christmas. I didn't get many calls except from my cousin on the answering machine at home. I didn't get to talk to her later. I didn't talk to my mother. That's OK. I spent the day w/ my friends who invited me to dinner. I mi...
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Hoot Nanny
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4
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230
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Different behavior pattern for me - same for him
(Preview)
The "disappearances" im sure so many of you have dealt with. The cycles, and circles that have been repeated over and over again. This time, it was a break up on Tuesday, followed by an obsessive amount of calls, very loving conversations, followed by making plans with me, THEN BREAKING TH...
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breamanic665
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7
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396
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Setting Boundaries
(Preview)
Setting Boundaries The purpose of setting boundaries is to take care of our self. Being forced to learn how to set boundaries is a vital part of learning to own our self, of learning to respect ourselves, of learning to love ourselves. If we never have to set a boundary, then we will never get in touch wit...
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Tasha
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7
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534
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From Moku Keawe
(Preview)
...the Big Island of Hawaii anchored in the Pacific Ocean. Mele Kalikimaka e Hauoli Makahiki Ho...Of course there's no fooling any of you because you know that is Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year said from the center of my spirit with love. I have everything I need with my peace of mind and sereni...
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Jerry F
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20
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452
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