The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
Hi all. I am new to this forum. I am truly struggling today with my alcoholic son. He has been drinking for several weeks, lies in bed all day and is deeply depressed. His health is suffering and he is extremely thin. He lives alone, so I constantly battle with the need to drive to his place to see if he is still breathing.
In the past three years, he has been through four rehabs and seven hospitalizations. He has had DTs and seizures during withdrawal several times. He just got out of the hospital again on Christmas Eve. He was sent home with an antidepressant this time. He kept his follow-up appointment with the doctor, but was drinking again within three days.
We already lost a son to an overdose in 2010. I can't bear to lose another son to this disease. I am in the depths of despair and constantly plan his funeral in my head. I'm having trouble stopping these obsessive thoughts. I don't know whether to go and check on him, or leave him alone. We truly did save his life by checking on him several times before. I just don't know how long this can go on.
I do go to meetings and have a sponsor. But since my son relapsed, so did I....again. Just need some extra support today in making this decision.+
Im so sorry for the pain you are in at this time. My son also has issues with alcohol, although not to the extent you describe. Alanon can help you with your obsessive thinking and help you to see that you are entitled to happiness and serenity despite what is happening with the alcoholics in our lives. You have come to a good place here, there are many mothers in your position and we all try hard to help each other.x
Prayers, support and empathy. Trying to hear the voice of my HP when confronted with so many options and feelings is not easy. If I allow all that I'm thinking and feeling to be there without censorship and wait on what I know will come - HP's guidance and wisdom - I am more at peace than if I try to fight my thoughts and my feelings. Until I do hear HP's guidance and wisdom, I reach out like you are doing for support and care.
My dad was the drinker... I was always checking up on him and worrying whether he had died- or whether he had made it home. He has passed now... I still get angry at myself for wasting my life with worry. But what option did I have? learning to identify the illness was a big step for me...
Thank you all for your replies. I have been asking for days for my HP to "guide my every thought, word and deed." I have also been texting my son to try to see him. I finally got a one word text from my son to "stop." Perhaps the message was not only from my son, but my HP as well. Do you think HP works that way?
Hi oats and welcome, you say you are attending f2f meetings and have a sponsor, this site is an extra tool. I found it useful in the hours when I could not get to a meeting or ring my sponsor. Fear attacks us when the a relapses my esh is to take lots if al anon medicine shift ur focus let go let god. I have heard letting go is hard but the hardest lesson for me was truly trusting the outcome to hp. The serenity prayer change the things you can we can not stop them but we can work hard at our own programme. When I do this it helps no matter how bad things are with the ones I love sending u a big hug Tracy xxxx
I do .